


In Another Life

by NishPxPx



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe, Angst, Gen, Marauders' Era, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 02:46:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 68
Words: 200,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14684829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NishPxPx/pseuds/NishPxPx
Summary: Voldemort had fled but not been defeated. Biding his time well, he had once again brought about terror. Harry and Hermione have lost everyone they held dear. And so a blood rite, almost sinfully dark helped take them to the Marauders' era to fix the world and prevent it from meeting the destruction it had once already suffered in another life. HG-SB





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: None of the characters used are mine. They belong only and only to JKR.

It started slowly, really. Took them completely by surprise. So much so that they didn't quite realise it was happening until they were down to only a few.

Soon after Voldemort had fled the battle at Hogwarts having realised he was no longer protected by his horcruxes, the wizarding world of Britain had sighed in relief if only for a few months during which Voldemort had begun to strategize once again.

The Order had started to feel hopeful fuelled by his inactivity. They believed that they now had the upper hand. The two sides were finally equal albeit they still lacked the numbers. Although overcome with grief over the deaths of their bravest soldiers and for many, the deaths of their family, there was still a chance that they might just be able to win the war.

The Weasleys had lost their son. Their brother. But they still kept fighting. And along with them stood Harry and Hermione.

As did Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan and Blaise Zabini.

The Malfoys had switched sides. Although Draco and Narcissa were received with lesser amount of suspicion than what Lucius was shown, they still had to prove themselves.

Draco turned out to be a great ally. Privy to Voldemort's fucntionings he was able to provide the Order with vital information. As for Lucius, he tried to help every way he could, primarily through his money, still quite intact despite the plundering it had took due to Voldemort's effort.

Death eater attacks were sparse and few. Voldemort could no longer be tracked as hard as Shacklebolt may have tried.

The ministry was being rebuilt. People began coming out of their houses. The Auror Department saw many youngsters fresh out of Hogwarts and hardened by its battle enter the good fight.

Almost a year had passed before the Order finally realised what was happening.

It began very slowly, but soon it had become an obvious truth that glared at the Light side wherever they went. Muggleborn witches and wizards were being killed. Tiny babies with magic in their veins, sleeping in their cribs in their Muggle homes were found murdered with their medical reports not being able to solve the mystery of the reason behind their deaths. But for the practiced eye, it was an easy feat to tell that it was the work of dark wizards.

Voldemort had wiped out a large part of muggleborns before their magic could even manifest. As for those he called blood traitors, were killed quite suddenly. They were murdered while on their way back home after a tedious day of trying to find Riddle and his followers. Muggles were still being murdered. Muggleborns witches were still brutally raped.

There had been a striking increase in the number of werewolves. Greyback was certainly to be blamed. Poor children innocent of any crimes were being turned into a personal army for Riddle.

The giants were on the move once again. The cold that came with the Dementors carried everywhere.

And yet, Voldemort could not be found.

It was particularly cold one February morning when Ginevra Weasley was declared missing. Harry Potter, her fiance, along with his two best friends had left no corners unchecked. The Minister, Shacklebolt, himself had assigned a team of his most skilled Aurors to find the girl.

The Weasley family was once again struck with tragedy. Arthur Weasley refused to come back home, choosing instead to spend his nights at the Ministry studying all suspected Death Eater stake outs, struggling in vain to catch a glance at his daughter. George Wealsey, it seemed had finally realised he was still alive. The loss of his twin had kept him alienated but now that his baby sister could not be found, he once again reared headfirst into the war. Bill, Charlie and Percy had met with their most trusted contacts but nobody, it seemed had seen the girl.

She had disappeared into thin air.

Almost a week later her body, mauled and scarred, was found in the middle of Hogsmeade grounds. Her red hair pooled around her head. Her pale skin almost as white as the snow on the ground. Her lips as blue as her eyes had been.

Harry had been the first to be alerted.

Upon seeing what his fiancée had been reduced to there was nobody who could console him. He found himself, yet again, facing the loss of another loved one. But this time, it hurt so much more.

It hurt him incredibly to see a once breathing and laughing Ginny, his love, the girl he was going to marry, thrown against the pearly white snow with her wounds still bleeding. Her clothes ripped apart leaving her body open to the warring elements.

Ginny.

The fiercest woman he had known. The woman who had once written him a poem. The only woman who had shared with him the burden of being possessed by the darkest wizard of all time.

Ginny with her blazing red hair and her nice skin.

As the Aurors arrived, they had to fight him tooth and nail to carry him away but he wouldn't budge. It took the combined efforts of Hermione and Minerva McGonagall, Headmistress to Hogwarts, both of whom could not help their own tears, to remove him. To drag him away from the girl he had loved. Away from the future he deserved with her. Away from the life she had promised him.

George had been found, only two days later, in his room. His wrists slit with blood still oozing out. In his hands was clutched a picture of himself standing with his twin, his little brother Ron and his darling sister Ginny.

Perhaps he just couldn't bear the pain of losing not only his better half but now his baby sister too. A sister he had promised to send Hogwarts toilet seats to all those years ago. A sister he had seen beat him and his brothers at Quidditch. A sister he had sworn to protect.

A funeral was held a week later. The wizarding world was shocked to find its war heroine's battered body out in the open as a clear warcry from the Dark side and its last beacon of joy in the face of the half of duo of joksters taken by Death. Many a wizards and witches had pooled in to pay their respects to the two Weasley children.

Bill and Fleur tried to keep the family together. But as much as he tried, the Weasleys were broken beyond repair. Arthur was reduced to an alcoholic. Molly refused to leave her room, forgetting that she still had a part of her family left to feed.

Charlie left the country turning once again to the refuge his work provided him. Percy spent his nights in bars and pubs still untouched by the darkness Voldemort had instilled.

And as for Ron, as much as he wanted to break down, he couldn't. For he still had to look out for his best friend. He saw it as clear as the day that Harry's grief knew no bounds. If left alone to his own devices, Harry wouldn't survive.

Ron had to make sure that the Chosen One didn't succumb to his pain for he still had a world to save.

And so it was that the war had begun. Once again. Their reprieve hadnt lasted as long as they'd have liked it to and so it was that Hermione Granger was found once again battling for her and her friends' lives.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.

Several months passed. Harry had turned eighteen and witnessed the deaths of Dean and Seamus firsthand.

An old friend, Viktor Krum had also joined the good fight but was killed shortly after his initiation fighting alongside Luna.

Shacklebolt was tortured and murdered in the middle of the Ministry, overtaken yet again by Voldemort and his cronies.

He was out in the open.

People began turning into their homes refusing to help anyone. Another reign of terror had been instilled upon Britain.

The Order had been dwindling.

Yet another blow came with the death of the Weasley patriarch. Molly soon followed, dying at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange.

Bill lost Fleur while battling a small group of Death Eaters who had just murdered an entire London suburb.

The war waged on.

Harry, Ron and Hermione fought alongside the Aurors who had left the Ministry upon its corruption and ran their own Department independent of any interference. It was safe to say that the Order was now only confined to these Aurors.

Hogwarts fell in the wee hours of a dreary October morning, taking along with it Minerva McGonagall and Filius Flitwick. It was said that seven hundred and eighty nine students had been killed leaving, of course the Slytherin purebloods safe.

Despite everything that happened, Voldemort would not come in front of the public eye. He could not be baited or trapped. There was no way to end him.

It was Christmas time and Hermione and Ron had left the safety of Grimmauld Place to scout a possible Death Eater hideout.

They were soon joined by Draco, who in the previous months had singlehandedly defeat a quarter of Greybacks pack.

After having spent the entire night looking out for any signs of Death Eater activity, they had finally decided to leave.

Draco was the first to Disappeared.

Hermione and Ron walked hand in hand, revelling in the warmth each provided to the other. Almost reaching the Apparition point, Hermione slipped crying out in pain.

Without any warning, ten cloaked figures appeared out for thin air, leering at the two lovers caught all alone.

Ron and Hermione whipped out their wands and stood facing them, back to back.

And so the fight begun. They fought vakaintly, having taken down three Death Eaters already. Throwing shield after shield, and pitching in a curse once or twice they were so far successful in keeping themselves safe from any harm.

After a few minutes which had felt like an eternity, they were soon joined in the fight by Harry, Draco and Neville.

Draco must have alerted the Order when Ron and Hermione had failed to arrive at the headquarters.

But they weren't the only ones who had received help.

There was the sound of several cracks signalling the arrival of a dozen or so Death Eaters.

It seemed that there would be no end to this battle.

When it finally felt as if they might have had a chance something strange happened. The Death Eaters receded. The battle stopped. All of a sudden there was an uncanny stillness.

Right in front of Harry's eyes, manifested his greatest enemy.

There stood Voldemort, smiling evilly at the children before him, daring them to come closer.

He laughed in their faces.

'Harry Potter. We meet again.' He smirked.

Harry found himself overcome with a venomous anger that threatened to take over his body and mind. Very carefully he assessed his situation.

Hermione lay on the ground, her lip bleeding and her leg turned at an odd angle but still holding onto her wand tightly.

Ron stood protectively over her body, sheltering her from any potential attack.

Draco and Neville stood together, their wands aimed at the enemy

Harry walked closer to Voldemort, 'Its awfully foolish of you to have come out of hiding, Tom. Nothing to bring you back to life anymore in case you died. No more horcruxes.'

Voldemort cackled, 'Stupid boy. You really think you can win this war? Look at yourself. Look at your friends. They're all dead.'

Draco aimed a quick sectumsempra at him. Voldemort glared and waived off the curse.

Draco spoke in a level voice, 'He's still got us. We're still fighting.'

'Not for very long, my boy.' Voldemort laughed. 'I shall end this for once and all tonight. I shall take great pleasure in killing you. What a waste of pureblood, might I say.'

He paced around the five soldiers. 'I shall enjoy it greatly when I defile your little friend, Harry.' He sneered at Hermione. 'My men shall be very pleased, of course. Your redhead friend shall watch as his girlfriend is taken by each one of my men.'

He looked at Harry then with a glint of evil in his eyes. 'Much like your own faincée was.'

It was then that Harry succumbed to his the rage boiling inside him.

He pointed his wand at Voldemort and screamed, 'Avada Kedavra'

Voldemort soon followed and the two flashes of green light met each other, each trying to overpower the other.

When the force of holding it was too much to handle, Harry ducked aside and watched as Voldemort and his followers once again began to attack.

Neville was the first to fall.

Hermione struggled to fight, balancing on her broken leg. Just a little longer, she kept telling herself.

Curses were fired left and right and Harry and Draco, hidden behind a tree maintained a steady stream of spells against the Death Eaters.

Ron and Hermione were on the other side, cornered by seven Death Eaters and Voldemort himself.

Voldemort signalled his followers to stop fighting and threw the killing curse towards Hermione's chest.

Bracing herself against the impending collisions, she closed her eyes shut.

There was no romanticising what had happened. She saw nothing flash in front of her eyes that would indicate at the life she had lived. All she had felt was fear. Fear of the purest kind.

But as much as she had expected a blow she had felt nothing. Shivering, she opened her eyes but what she saw next was something that would never leave her alone.

Her vision was imprinted with a mess of red hair flying as Ron fell down to the ground with a resounding thud.

His eyes looking at her, unfeeling. His mouth open, still resounding the scream he had let out as he ran in front of her to shield her from death.

Everything stood still for a moment. She could hear the steady pounding of her heart. She scrambled on the ground, reaching for the man she had come to love over the years.. trying to preserve the memory of the brave soldiers who had just given everything up for.. her. For Hermione.

The moment of stillness was broken all too soon by a grief laden shriek Harry let out. He ran forwards as Voldemort cackled along with his men.

Draco seemed to be the only one in control of his mind. Sensing the inevitable end that would meet him and his allies in this moment of vulnerability, he latched onto Harry who was now holding onto Ron's body still held close to Hermione's chest, and Disappeared the group to the leading step of Grimmauld Place.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.

Hermione remained catatonic for three full days before she uttered a sound.

Harry chose to let out his frustration and rage by means of aggression. He threw away everything thay he came across.. he went as far as banging his head into the wall. He was, in true sense, a man insanely grievous over what his life had come to be.

They had buried Ron in the backyard of the Burrow which was now home only to Bill and Percy, both of whom remained as unresponsive to their brother's death as a stranger would have. They had already lost too much. It was just another figure. just another statistic.

That was war, wasn't it. That was the tragedy of fighting in one. That the death of their own brother elicited not a single tear from them. How much had they already been through to have reached a state of such apathy.

But then again, it was more than what could be said about Neville. The bravest of the brave Gryffindors. As much as Draco regretted it, Neville's body could not have been brought back to headquarters and so the Death Eaters chose to parade his corpse as a badge of honour through the streets of Diagon Alley. His body was impaled and subjected to multiple Cruciatus curses.

His parents had been dragged from the wards of St. Mungo's to witness the horrific event of their son's death.

It was astonishing, really, that Frank and Alice Longbottom almost seemed to recognise the boy. But whatever recognition had flashed in their eyes was gone immediately for they were both hit with the Killing Curse shot from the tip of the wand of one Bellatrix Lestrange.

It was a good thing Neville's gran had long ago been murdered. For this sinful sight would have completely shattered the old woman.

*

Hermione spent the next two months in the Black library. She left the large room packed with ancient tomes only once during the morning before Harry and Draco woke up.

Nobody visited them except one day when Narcissa arrived unexpectedly.

Hermione pushed herself against the door of the library to hear the conversation that took place in the hall.

Narcissa flung herself in her son's arms and cried, 'Oh, Draco.. son.. He killed him. He killed your father.'

Draco had long ago given up any feelings he might have had left towards his father but it still hurt.

'Mother.' He breathed and kissed her forehead, holding her close.

Narcissa's cries subdued after sometime. Harry, so far hidden behind in the depths of the dark hall surfaced and approached her.

'Narcissa, I'm so sorry. This is so very rude of me but please.. if you don't mind .. what happened?'

'We were at Tonks' place. I was visiting Andromeda and Teddy. Lucius didn't want me to go alone and so.. he came along..

'They attacked. We weren't even alerted by the wards. They just broke through as if the wards were nothing.'

Harry felt his control crumble. 'Teddy.' He whispered.

'Safe.' Narcissa said to him. She held his hand and the tracks of her tears were renewed as she went on, 'Lucius and Ted fought bravely. Andromeda and I escaped with Teddy. They're safe. They're at one of the safehouses. Lucius and Ted..'

She broke into another set of tears. Hermione could no longer keep herself hidden and came out of the library to hold the woman as Draco breathed in sweet nothings into his mother's ears.

*

Harry was seated beside Hermione. They hadn't spoken to each other since he had died. They had nothing to say. It wasn't that they were resentful of each other. It was only that they had both understood the need of giving each other the time to heal.

Never did it mean they were alone. They never could be. They were the last ones standing.

'Hermione. You're the only I've got left.'

She chuckled ruefully, 'And yet I haven't been much help, have I?'

'Dont say that. Please don't. I would have.. I would never have made it so far.. not without you or.. him..' The pain of even taking his name was immense.

Hermione whispered, 'He died for me.'

'As would have any man who loved a great womanas you. He died for his love. He died a noble death. He did it to keep you safe. Don't blame yourself. Ever. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine.'

'Come on, Harry. You couldn't have helped him. Nobody could have.' She breathed out.

She wrapped her arms around him and the two sat staring into the flames of the fireplace.

'I love you, Harry.'

'I love you, 'Mione.'

Just then Draco entered and scoffed, 'As much as I appreciate you two finally talking to each other, I'd like it if you kept the coddling to yourself.'

Harry looked up, 'Find anything useful?'

Draco sighed. 'You're not going to like it.'

Hermione scoffed, 'Really?'

Draco raised a brow, 'He's done it. He destroyed most of St Mungo's. He's using the muggleborn patients as test subjects for new.. potions and spells .. aimed at torture.'

Harry sucked in a sharp breath.

Hermione looked at Draco. 'Torture. He .. he means to use it on us.'

Draco smirked, 'He's named the research after the three of us, actually.'

Hermione shut her eyes and took in deep breaths. 'We aren't safe. He could come knocking any day now.'

Harry held her hand. 'Hermione. There's nowhere to go. We will go down fighting.'

Draco nodded. 'There isn't much we can do, really. We have to kill him. Potter. Harry.. you have to kill the bastard.. god forbid if you fail..'

And that was the day Draco Malfoy was first seen break down into uncontrollable sobs that etched out of his throat. 'Hermione.. 'Mione will have a plan.. we have to kill him.'

He cried for all that he had lost. He cried for the people who had died. He cried for lost loves and family.

He cried for the world that had turned into this horrible place thst housed macabre men and women who felt thrilled to murder and rape and toture weaker beings.

*

Hermione had spent the entire night rereading and plotting. She made sure she wasn't missing anything crucial. She couldn't afford to mess this up. If she did.. she would singlehandedly destroy all of reality and space. There was a reason such a rite was si hevauly guarded that it had taken her months to find it and understand it.

'It is very dark magic. Once we begin the ritual.. there's no going back.'

The two boys nodded.

Harry had already sent an own to Bill in the morning bidding their goodbyes.

'We have to do this. He's killed half of Britain. He's moving towards the States and there's no stopping him.'

Draco nodded. 'I am ready.'

Hermione sighed and got up from her chair around the table. She placed her hand on Draco's shoulder.

'Draco.. I want you to know that.. if it wasn't for you, we couldn't have saved the world. Trust me. I and Harry .. we will save them. We will save your parents. We will save you.'

Draco looked up into her eyes and sought an emotion he had never received from anyone but his mother. In that moment he could see it. He could see it so very clearly that he wondered how he could have missed it.

Hermione Granger loved him. Hermione had found in him a friend. She loved him as he loved her. As did Harry. The three had become a family.

'You are absolutely certain, then?' She asked him.

'The ritual requires a sacrifice. You two are the heroes. You two must be the ones to go back in time and fix it.' He stood up and hugged her.

Harry, too came up behind them and enveloped his two friends into his arms.

'Alright' Hermione commanded.

She kissed Draco on his cheek.

Harry patted him on his back, 'You are family.'

Draco glanced at them and whispered, 'Thank you. For accepting me.'

And then he moved away from them and took his position in the middle of the circle Hermione had drawn.

Hermione and Harry clasped hands tightly as Hermione began to chant the spell required by the ritual. She chanted for thirty seven minutes without a break. All the while Harry added the necessary ingredients at the required places.

When the spell was complete, Harry and Hermione reluctantly picked up a sharp blade each from the bedside table.

They looked at Draco, conveying to him their regret and their gratitude.

Draco steeled himself and stared right back at them.

Slowly, they moved towards him. Together. Holding hands. They slipped in the blade into his gut. Draco gasped and cried out in pain. His blood seeped into the floor and into the bowl that housed the ingredients for the spell.

And as he quivered and breathed his last, the earth gave away from beneath their feet. A strong gust of wind that seemed to be blowing inside the room, shrieked against the windows.. rattling their panes.

Harry and Hermione stumbled onto the floor right next to Draco's fallen body.. their sacrifice.. the human sacrifice to save the world.. the proof of their monstrosity.

The wind gained even greater strength. The house itself threatened to fall down on them. The walls shook and the furniture began to tumble.

Hermione dared not let go of Harry's hand or her beaded bag. Harry, too would not have released his grip on her hand or the moleskin pouch around his neck for the life of him.

The wall right in front of them opened up. Voices seemed to be coming right out of it as the wind threatened to explode the house.

It seemed to be pulling them towards the portal the wall had created.

Harry looked into Hermione's eyes and begged her to see the love that he held inside them. The love that he had for her.. and for the rest of their family they had come to lose.

Hermione smiled tearfully and that is the last either of them remembered before they were thrust into perpetual darkness


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.

DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.

Hermione woke up, startled beyond measure.

She was instantly hit by a sense of vertigo and had to take several deep breaths to steady herself.

She squinted in the darkness that surrounded her. Almost afraid of where she was, she began to feel with her hands about her whereabouts. Her hands seemed to be clutching a soft sheen like material.. she was.. she was in a bed. A very comfortable bed.

She brought a hand to touch her mouth and her hair. She seemed to be very much alive.

She breathed a sigh of relief.

'Harry?' she gasped out. 'Harry? Where are you?'

She removed the covers off of her and slowly padded along the cold hardwood floor.

A very strange feeling suddenly hit her. It almost seemed as if her centre of gravity was misplaced. She couldn't quite understand what that could mean.

She walked around what seemed to be a particularly large bedroom. She felt with her fingers waht coukd only be a huge desk paired with a plush chair.

As her eyes adjusted to the darkness she could make out she was alone. That filled her with dread. Where was Harry? The ritual was supposed to work on both of them. She was absolutely certain she had spelled out both their names. But then where could he be?

She settled into a window seat and looked out over the forest that could be seen stretching on for miles and miles ahead.

Elladora Blacks's journal had said that the ritual would place the needy at a place in time where it would be most crucial for them to attain their goal.

Harry and Hermione had been prepared to land in the middle of a battle. What they hadn't been prepared for was landing on a soft bed without the presence of one another.

At least one thing was for certain then. The ritual could have only been completed if the person was inherently pure. That meant all the murders they may have commited were exonerated. Harry, Hermione and Draco had been deemed pure by whatever higher power that rested in the universe.

Still reeling from the happenings of the evening, Hermione strangely felt safe as if she was far away from the war for now.

The sun had slowly begun to rise as it's light flossed in the large chamber.

Hermione sat still, unthinking. Her brain had went on a lockdown. She felt out of place but also.. at home.

When there was enough light inside the room to explore, Hermione got up from her place at the window and made her way to the bedside table where she found her beaded bag and her wand. She immediately plucked it from the table and felt the surge of power go through her body as she grapsed her wand.

But something was odd. Hermione lifted her hands in front of her and cried out. Her hands were.. tiny. So was her entire body. She rushed to the mirror right in the center of the chamber and found that she was back in ten year old body.

That meant that she was back in 1989. But this was definitely not her room. It couldn't be. Her parents could not have afforded such a grand palace much less situated in the middle of a forest.

But as she tried to calm herself down and begin to wonder where she was and who she was, she was suddenly struck with a thousand memories that weren't her own but somehow.. also were.

Hit with an onslaught of unwanted memories, Hermione was slightly disgruntled. But what followed was a feeling of intense fear and despair.

For if her memories could be accounted for then that meant that she was no longer Hermione Granger.

She was in the year 1969.

She was Hermione Lestrange, aged nine. Sister to Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange, aged twenty one and fourteen respectively.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.

This could not be happening to her. How cruel could the fates be. Sending her so far back in time as a part of the family who had taken so much from her.

Molly had died at the hands of Bellatrix. Rabastan had been the one who had Crucioed Fleur while Rodolphus had bound Bill to watch as she was raped by Mulciber and Avery.

Hermione was thoroughly disgusted at the prospect of sharing blood with those raving madmen. She was disgusted at herself because if her memories could be trusted she loved her brother Rabastan very much; she was closer to him than anybody else in the family. Hermione was disgusted to remember that Rodolphus, as emotionally closed off as he may he, always looked out for his little sister. She was disgusted that in this twisted version of life she was adored by her grandfather, much more so after the death of the children's parents.

She was now the daughter of a Death Eater family. She was a whimsical, bigoted pureblood.

To top it all, she was alone. She was by herself. Where in this world could Harry be? If the ritual had thrown her so deep into the fabric of time and space, he could be anywhere. How was she ever going to find him? What if he turned out to be even a younger child than she had? Was Harry even here in this timestream?

Oh god. She truly was alone. Alone. After having fought for so long. After shaving battled the most ferocious of dark witches and wizards who had claimed her parents, a family she had come to call hers, her best friend Ginny and her.. her only love. She was alone. There was nobody to care for her in this time. Nobody to cherish her.

She wondered what had happened to Bill and Percy. Even Charlie.

And Narcissa. Andromeda. Teddy.

If her assumptions were correct, the time she had come from had been dissolved the moment she had left. That meant.. most of it would probably not exist. She could change so many things. She could prevent so many great men and women from turning into deranged bastards.

She could save James and Lily Potter.

The possibilities were endless.

But first, she had to make sense of where she was. She had to gather herself and try to find Harry.

She was very sure the Lestrange men had had no sister in her world. If fate had somehow created her a new life it could just be that Harry was somewhere in the world too.. as a boy who hadn't been a part of reality before.

They had been rewritten into time.

This is what she would do.

The sun was already high up in the sky by then. She would calm herself down. She would begin by adapting to a smaller body again. She would have to keep reminding herself that this body would be weary and would tire much earlier than she was used to.

She would have to figure out her relationships in this life. As far as she could see she was exceptionally close to Rabastan and her grandfather. Rodolphus had always kept her at an arm's length, being a girl child.

It was somewhat comforting to know that before Hermione had woken up in this body.. this body.. this person hadn't been a blood purist. This little girl had always fought against the idea of muggleborns being foul and filthy. And she was glad that her brother Rabastan agreed with her.

She would have to work with what she had. She would have to make use of her relations with a dark family that was central to Voldemort's work and help bring him down.

Voldemort. He wasn't in power as of now. He wouldn't be for a very long time.

If she was indeed going to have to start Hogwarts again she wouldn't begin to hear of his madness before fifth year at least. And he wouldn't come out in the open before 1978-1979.

She had time to establish herself.

Hermione took deep breaths and steadied herself on her tiny little feet.

She would have to hide her wand. A nine year old couldn't be found with her wand.

But.. if she already had her wand with her.. wouldn't that create a paradox. Certainly, the very same wand must be resting somewhere here. And if she was to possess her wand, surely when she went to buy a new one she wouldn't be able to for she was allied to her old wand.

This was strange. How would she solve this particular mystery. She couldn't work around it.

She grabbed her beaded bag and opened it to check its contents. Everything was where it was supposed to be.

She placed her wand inside and picked up her bag. She looked around herself and studied the room she was in.

It was definitely her room. She walked towards the great oak wardrobe that stood before her. She opened it to find several dresses made out of silk. There were also some silken trousers and long cloaks. She hid the bag behind her clothes and shut the wardrobe.

Moving to a chamber adjoined to her room, she found it was the bathroom.

Suddenly the idea of a bath seemed wonderful. She might not have retained her scars or the dirt and grime that was usually stuck on her old body, but a bath would certainly be helpful in washing away some of the sorrow she felt.

She removed her clothes and settled in.

This would take time getting used to. The calm and the stillness this new time provided her was so.. odd. So foreign.

As was the loneliness.

Hermione kneaded her head on the back of the huge tub she currently lay in. She closed her eyes and revisited her friends. Long before the war broke out.

Second year when she had rushed into Harry's arms after having been revived. Third year when she had helped Neville with Charms homework. Fifth year when she had sat laughing at something Ron had said. Sixth year as she danced with Ginny.

Oh, Ron. She could, for the life of her, never forget about him. She would, in a way always love him.

She still couldn't come to terms with how he had given up his life for her. If it hadn't been for him she would have been dead. She wouldn't have found out about this ritual and she wouldn't have had a chance at saving the world.

It was Ron that would save them in the end. Ron. And Draco.

The idea had repulsed her at first. When she had read the ritual demanded a human sacrifice she had closed the book then and there. Harry had agreed losing their humanity would do them no good in this war.

But Draco had been adamant. He had quickly claimed he wouldn't be afraid to give up his life if it meant saving the rest of the world. And who knew how the logistics would work. Draco had suspected that the duo could be sent back very long ago into the past although Hermione had been quick to discredit his idea.

Nevertheless, Draco had persuaded them to at least try in the end. It had taken many a heated arguments in the kitchen of the Grimmauld Place but where she was. Proof of the sin she had committed. She had killed someone pure.

A few tears made their way down her face as Hermione struggled to breathe once again.

She began sobbing. Her mouth was completely dry and her cries echoed in the huge chamber. She cried for her lost love. She cried for the innocence she no longer had. She cried for she might not be able to find the one person she loved more than anyone else. She cried for she was, after all, truly alone.

Alone.

CRACK

A tiny house elf in a tea cozy appeared in front of the tub Hermione lay in and looking at her mistress in such pain was startled.

Hermione was immediately on the lookout. Her mind told her the elf could be trusted but the hardened soldier inside her was wary.

The elf squeaked, 'Misstress Hermy, why's you crying? Blinky must get master Rab. Blinky not know what to do.'

Hermione wiped away her tears and sank below the water. Coming back up to the surface she croaked, her broken voice not ready to support her yet.

'Dont worry, Blinky. I'm fine. Can you please tell me how long till breakfast is ready?'

Blinky nodded enthusiastically, 'Breakfast is ready, Mistress Hermy. Master Lestrange sent me to fetch young Mistress. Mistress is never late. But you never appeared so Blinky come to get you.'

Hermione grabbed the robe to her left and walked out of the tub wrapping herself with it.

Blinky had vanished and as Hermione stepped out in her room she saw that Blinky had laid out a soft blue dress on the bed.

At least Blinky seemed to be well cared for. Just maybe she could live with this.. family. Her family?

Hermione quickly put on the dress and guided by her new memories she made her way to the dining room. This tiny body had etiquette doctrined in it.

She knocked the door and promptly entered to find a tall man with greying hair who had taken the seat of the family Head. His face was very kind.

To his right sat Rodolphus. Instant rage filled Hermione as she looked at this mere.. boy who would go on to take the lives of so many innocent children. The boy who would kill her own family.

She could never look at this boy and see in him a brother.

She must immediately set out to kill this boy before she could ever harm a soul.

But wouldn't that turn Hermione into a monster herself? Hermione couldn't take up the role of deciding who deserves to live and who doesn't. For all she knew perhaps her own presence and the need to protect a sister may outweigh any twisted blood purist ideas he may have and stop him from joining Riddle. Perhaps he would change. It wouldn't be right to blame this boy with the crimes committed by a man who might not ever be.

Hermione would have to try. She would have to try very hard to fight her conflicted feelings.

She walked towards the table and sat herself beside Rabastan. Looking at him she was once again faced with the face of the man he might become but she was also riddled with immense feelings of love and joy that her body seemed to be casting upon him. She couldn't help herself from smiling at him and pecking his cheek.

Hermione sighed.

'Grandfather. I am so terribly sorry for having you kept waking.' She said in a calm voice, hoping it wouldn't give away her role as an impostor. She wasn't their daughter. She wasn't their sister.

But a voice inside her said, and yet you are.

As much as she could try, she always would be. This was her life now. This was her family.

Grandfather merely shrugged it off, 'No matter, no matter. I trust everything is well?'

Hermione nodded, 'I couldn't sleep well. it was a restless night.'

Rodolphus spoke up, warmth oozing from his voice, 'Shall I have the elves prepare you a sleeping draught? You look quite exhausted, dear sister.'

Hermione had to will herself to be friendly. 'I am okay, brother. Please do not bother the elves on my behalf.'

Her brother made a sound of approval. 'Your love for these creatures never ceases to astound me.'

Hermione frowned, anger surging through her.

Rabastan placed his hand on hers and smiled at her. 'Come now, Rolf, they aren't just mere creatures. They're beings.'

Hermione was so grateful to Rab in that moment. She almost felt.. at home. She felt not alone. The very manner in which Rab had managed to calm her down and take her side grounded her.

Rodolphus sneered, 'As long as it makes you happy, Hermione.'

Grandfather chortled, 'Now, children, let's have some food and settle this spat.'

The lavish mahogany table was suddenly laden with food of every kind.

Hermione was now troubled. Despite not being in her own body, she still couldn't eat very much. Her mind refused to eat with the burden that it carried.

She filled her plate with some fruit and began to nerovusly chew on it.

Grandfather was quick to notice, 'Only fruit, child? Are you certain you are well?'

'Yes, Papa. Just anxious, that's all.'

Grandfather frowned deeply, now truly worried but decided not to push the matter.

He turned to Rodolphus. 'The final arrangements are made. The elves are already working on planning an evening gathering for the Sacred Twenty eight and the most elite of the families. Miss Black should be a valuable addition to our family. You shall be a very happy young man, Rolf.'

Rodolphus chuckled, 'I presume so.'

Dread filled Hermione. This could only mean that she was soon to be facing breakfasts and dinners with the woman who had enjoyed herself while carving into Hermione's skin.

Rabastan laughed, 'I cannot wait for the wedding. Perhaps I could meet some charming young woman myself.

It's a shame Miss Black's sister, Narcissa is being courted by that Malfoy boy.' He grumbled.

Grandfather chuckled, 'She's older than you by two years, Rab. Besides you're too young. I wouldn't have you marry a woman even if you had been as old as your brother.' He looked at him sternly, 'You're simply too much trouble.'

Rabastan barked out a laugh once again, 'You wound me, Papa. You wound me.'

Breakfast carried on in much the similar manner. As did lunch. As did dinner.

A few days passed as Hermione wandered around the large estate that she now called home. It was apparently situated in the middle of English countryside, surrounded by dense forests that she longed to explore.

The Lestrange family was worried. Their Hermione had never been this quite or so inquisitive and nervous. She was often jumpy and scared. She often looked at them with deep emotions hidden in her eyes. They were worried she was coming down sick for she didn't talk as much as she used to. She often kept to herself. It was a good thing Rabastan was home from school and wouldn't have to leave for another month and a half for he was the only one who could bring her out of her room.

Rodolphus had tried at times too. He might not have shown it but he did care about his little sister.

Grandfather had almost called for her governess who had been dismissed the previous summer when Hermione had finished her lessons two years prior to when she should have. She was smart, his Hermione.

Rodolphus had somehow convinced grandfather to give the girl some time. She might just have been scared of the prospect of having someone new join the family.

Hermione had come to know that her brother Rodolphus was soon to marry Bellatrix.

Although disheartened at the prospect for she had truly come to respect her edlest brother, albeit reluctantly, she figured it would give her a chance to find out about some boy belonging to a pureblood family who hadn't lived in her own time.

She couldn't help but think if Harry had been born as a muggleborn, she might have to wait a lot longer to find solace in his arms.

But she would bide her time. She would wait for him. She would wait for her best friend. Her true brother.

As much as she loved Rabastan in this time, her true allegiance would lay with Harry. The boy she would follow anywhere.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.

The eve of June 29th found Hermione bracing herself. To say that she was terrified would be an understatement.

She would be spending the evening in the midst of future Death Eaters. She would finally come face to face with Bellatrix tonight. She had conditioned herself to not react to anyone she knew to be Voldemort's follower in her time. She had willed herself into thinking that all these men and women were still redeemable.

She would not jump to conclusions and curse them for crimes that they hadn't yet committed.

Adding to her misery was the fact that with each passing day she had been able to access more of her memories. She had discovered that being a pureblood necessitated a few things. One of which was learning the family tree of all the important families. And having remembered most of them she was pretty certain she had not come across any strange boy who hadn't been a part of her own time. Nobody had even been named Harry in the last century. This could only mean that Harry was a muggleborn.

But some part part of her still nagged her because what if he wasn't. What if Harry was a Muggle for god's sake. The thought of being away from him for so long terrified the girl.

Hermione had been pushed into wearing a beautiful silk gown with shades of turquoise. Her brown hair, still very much bushy had been arranged into soft ringlets that settled at the base of her neck.

Blinky tottered around her, 'Young Mistress must look beautiful. Everyone must love Mistress Hermy.'

Hermione chuckled, still not very used to the simple gesture of raising her lips and smiling. 'Blinky, call me Hermy please.'

Blinky looked at her with so much reverance that she bowed and had tears pool in at the base of her big black eyes.

'Blinky is honoured, young Hermy.'

Having become accustomed to the overly large manor Hermione had made her way to the ball room in no less than seven minutes.

She arrived at the entrance to find that her grandfather stood beside Rolf greeting the onslaught of their guests.

She was supposed to enter the ballroom with them and so she waited.

She was shocked to find that someone had slipped their arms around her waist and tackled her from the back, tickling along her sides.

She heard the mischievous laughter of Rab and turned daround to point her finger at him, 'Rab! Stop this instant!'

Her grandfather never missed a thing and sent a mock glare at Rab.

Rab conceded and moved away from the girl. 'You look beautiful, dear Mi.' He bent down to kiss her forehead and placed her hand on his arm. He was considerably taller than her with his black hair pushed back on his head and his aristocratic features handsomely inviting to any and every one.

He was surely the more gifted one when it came to looks among the three siblings. Despite the beauty and grace each pureblood family often held, Hermione found she was still the same plain old girl with large buckbeak teeth and bushy hair. She would have to fix her teeth by herself this time around.

She sighed.

After having waiting a quarter of an hour Hermione saw the Blacks arrive. Bellatrix and Narcissa Black had to be one of the most gorgeous women Hermione had ever laid her eyes upon.

The girls trailed after their mother who was as haughty as one might have expected.

The woman was linked to another. Hermione didn't hesitate in putting a name to the second woman who oozed aristocracy. Walburga Black. Beside her were two handsome boys.

Hermione was schocked. She gasped when she saw the taller one of them with his black locks framing his sharp featured face. His grey eyes devoid of the grief he had felt over his friends' death and the terror from Azkaban.

Sirius Black looked like the epitome of royalty in that moment. Dressed in immaculate black robes, he walked with an air of superiority. Looking everything like a Lord even at the age of ten or so he still managed to retain the mischievous glimmer in his eyes as he turned and met the girl's gaze. Seeing her mouth open he mistook her surprise and winked at her and smiled.

Hermione quickly regained her composure and coughed slightly when Rab gave her strange teasing looks.

The older men exchanged greetings with Orion, Walburga and Druella Black.

Their daughters bowed before Papa.

Rolf quickly greeted his in laws and placed a kiss upon Narcissa's outstretched hand and went to stand beside Bellatrix who preened under his gaze.

Hermione had begun to feel some amount of terror grip her heart. The skin on her arm prickled. But the version of Bellatrix she faced now was nothing more than a teenage girl trying to flatter the boy she liked.

Papa commanded everybody's attention and said, 'May I present to you my youngest grandchildren.' He signalled for Hermione and Rab to move.

He placed his hand on Rab's shoulders and introduced him, 'This is Rabastan. He will soon be rejoining Hogwarts for his Fourth year.'

Rabastan bowed and carried out the customary greetings with the women present and even went as far as winking at Narcissa who glared at him in return.

Orion Black openly laughed at this.

Papa then smiled delightfully while he introduced his granddaughter.

'And this is the apple of my eye. The true jewel of this family. My very own dearest Hermione.'

Hermione curtsied with a forced smile.

Her hand was gently taken from her side by a very delighted Sirius Black who placed a chaste kiss against her knuckles and bowed. Beside him a slightly shorter but equally handsome boy, Regulus Black did the same.

Walburga was quick to introduce her two boys.

Papa frowned, 'I had hoped to see Pollux tonight.'

Orion cleared his throat, 'He is busy on matters elsewhere. I am certain he will meet with you very soon.'

Papa nodded and led the small party to enter the ballroom.

Hermione stuck close to Rab and saw as the entirety of the assembly cheered when Rolf enter with Bellatrix plastered on his arm. She was everything a lady ought to be.

Hermione almost approved the young woman in the way she carried herself. Already so sure of herself.

Rab had soon left his poor sister alone with promises of many a sweets later to try and woo some helpless girl.

Hermione had snorted in the most unladylike manner at the young man.

Hermione found herself seated beside an enchanted fountain looking at people with a keen eye.

Still reeling from having seen Sirius as a child, Hermione was suddenly brought face to face with a harrowing feeling.

She might very well be successful in saving the world if she could one day find Harry but try as they might they would never have their own people remember them. Surely the Weasleys, James, Lily, Sirius, Remus, Dumbledore, Tonks, Minerva and Moody and countless others would be alive but they would never love them the way their counterparts had.

They would never find the love they had come to share with these great men and women. Because their family, their Weasleys and Potter's and Sirius and everybody else were dead. They were all dead. They would stay dead, those versions of these people. They would save the world but at the cost of losing everything they loved forget all about them.

She could vaguely make out Rab speaking to some redheaded girl and Rolf in deep conversation with someone who looked very much like Mulciber.

Hermione shivered.

'Dear sister, surely you are well?' Bellatrix said in a soft silky tone. 'It isn't very cold for you to be feeling so.'

Hermione was surprised at the genuine concern Bellatrix had held in her voice.

Hermione was, to say the least, speechless.

'Miss Lestrange? If I may be so bold.. Hermione?' Bellatrix touched her lightly on her shoulder, her other hand holding a drink. 'Would you like to go out and get some fresh air?'

Hermione shook her head, 'No, thank you very much, Miss Black. I have just never attended this big a party before.'

Bellatrix smiled kindly, 'You must get used to it. You're old enough to be soon planning events like this. Once I'm settled into the family I'm sure we could work on them together. I really do hope to be a great friend to you, dear. Your brother speaks so fondly of you.'

Hermione nodded and forced another smile. 'As does he about you, Miss black.'

'Oh, none of that please. Call me Bella. We are meant to be sisters very soon.'

Bile rose up Hermione's throat. She detested the woman. She detested her in her previous life. And she detested her now. No. She could not look at this woman and think that perhaps she wouldn't resort to her crimes. She could not look at her and not be reminded of the inhumane woman who had killed her mother in everything but blood.

And yet she smiled. Hermione had to stay in character. She had to win over this woman. One day she would help Hermione get into the throng of the happenings of the Dark Side and she could not afford to lose any possible ally.

'Of course, Bella. I do hope my brother makes you very happy.'

Bella curtsied and left in search of her sister.

Hermione had had enough of this for a day. She made her way to the gardens to do exactly as Bella had suggested. She needed fresh air. She rushed outside and cursed her tiny feet and prayed she could be in her own body soon.

She began running when she reached the corridor leading to the back entrance to the garden. She ran as unshed years made their way to pool into her eyes, closing her vision. She ran from the murderous wench inside. She ran from her brothers who had sinned equally as much as that deranged woman. She ran from the woman who would one day give birth to the man Hermione had killed to reach this time.

She ran from everyone.

She ran from herself.

Not really looking where she was going she slipped along the wet soil and had almost fallen down if not for a pair of strong arms that steadied herself.

Sirius whistled, 'Whoa there, Miss. What's got you in such a hurry?' He laughed.

He stopped short when he noticed the teary state of the girl in his arms. 'Hey, are you okay?' He looked at her with his grey eyes full of concern.

Hermione wished only to cry harder at seeing this young version of a man she had once bickered with. A man she had admired and respected for bringing some amount of love that Harry had never had before.

She quickly disentangled herself and wiped her tears away. 'I'm sorry. I've been having a bad time for a while now.'

Regulus stood watching the pair and felt greatly awkward. He cleared his throat as Sirius nodded.

'Well I can only assume how suffocating these stupid parties can be.' Sirius plopped down a swing set and stared up at the stars with his hands beneath his head. 'My brother and I usually don't attend. But it was a necessity this time, what with this being the engagement party for our dearest cousin Bella.', he scoffed.

Regulus shook his head in clear disapproval of his brother scorning his family but quietly offered his handkerchief to the young girl.

Hermione thanked him in earnest and smiled ruefully.

Regulus led her to the swing and the two sat beside Sirius.

Regulus said, 'You look deeply troubled. Are you not happy with this arrangement?'

Hermione was taken by surprise at the depth of this boy who had so quickly understood her pain.

She shook her head vehemently, 'I'm not supposed to have a say in the matter.'

Sirius grunted. 'Sucks to be a kid. I can't wait to get to Hogwarts and away from my barmy family.'

Regulus hit his head and growled, 'Sirius, watch what you're saying.'

Hermione laughed, 'Please don't mind me. I can understand. Another couple of years and I can finally leave for Hogwarts too.'

Sirius smiled broadly at her. 'Excellent. That means we would be in the same year.'

Regulus cried, 'You'll leave me alone with Mother..'

Hermione frowned and noting this Sirius rushed to explain, 'Our dear old mum is one perfect mental piece. She seems to think violence is the way to a child's heart.' He scoffed.

Regulus shied away from Hermione's pitiful eyes. It pained her to even imagine the kind of abuse Walburga had been subjecting her boys to. No wonder Sirius couldn't wait to get away.

Sirius placed his arm around Hermione, 'Don't you worry, young maiden fair, I shall always protect you from lecherous women like my mother.'

Regulus laughed. 'Always the gentleman, my brother.'

Hermione glared at him, 'I can look after myself, thank you very much.'

Sirius looked at her then and found emotions completely foreign to him swirl in her eyes.

The three sat in comfortable silence for the remainder of the party revelling in their common yearning to leave.

For Sirius and Regulus, it would mean a reprieve from their mother's venomous means of instilling horror in her children to do her bidding and follow in her footsteps to be the future Black patriarch and for Hermione it would mean finding Harry and any chance she had at happiness.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.

Hermione was sat beneath the weeping willow in the grounds of her family manor.

The wind swiftly blew away the errant strands of her hair away from her face as she contemplated over the last few months of her new life.

Rab had left for Hogwarts and since then she had felt considerably lonely. Rolf, although always concerned about his sister, wouldn't spend very long talking to her. He would instead prefer to teach her a thing or two in the art of deception which would one day prove to be really useful, she was sure. Another thing to aid her would be how she had already been trained in occlumency at the age of seven and eight. Purebloods, as it turned out, tended to be wary of anyone and everyone.

Her grandfather often accompanied her in the gardens during the evening but he was so often away at work managing the family estate that his company didn't do her a lot of good.

And this was why Hermione had to resort to sitting under her willow and think about everything that was going on.

She had finally accepted her fate. She had accepted the deaths of everyone she had lost. More importantly she had accepted her role in how things had played out. She had accepted her faults and the mistakes she had made vowing to herself never to repeat her foolishness.

She had also accepted that she would not be meeting Harry anytime soon but had not yet given up hope. She never would.

She was now giving herself time. She was allowing herself to heal. She had to. If she didn't she wouldn't be able to function. She had to work on her ability to stay calm and collected and not break down and run away from her problems the way she had that night in June. She couldn't afford to look weak. It was necessary to maintain her image as a remarkable witch. She would need to enter Voldemort's inner circle one day either directly or by manipulating one of her brothers.

It would undoubtedly grieve her but she was in a war, after all although nobody knew about it just yet. And war demanded certain things. So if she had to resort to petty manipulation she was very much up for it.

She had agreed to view things not in black and white. The world was grey.

The last month she had spent with Rab had also strengthened her bond with him. Most nights she would wake up screaming at the top of her lungs and Rab's room being the closest to hers, he would very swiftly come to her aid and help her go back to sleep. He never questioned her in the mornings and instead chose to watch her very carefully.

Hermione had grown nervous though. She was scared she would one day scream somebody's name and ruin everything. She could not risk revealing her identity or her knowledge of the future. She had to be extremely careful. And so after a lengthy research at the vast library at the Lestrange estate had helped her draw out various conclusions about the Trace.

Her body had been young of course and so had retained the trace. But Hermione had always doubted the credibility of it. In a pureblood estate it was hardly an easy job to pinpoint where the magic had come from. She had often thought about it in her previous life and had come to conclude that it was merely a means to regulate magic at muggleborn dwellings.

Risking quite a bit, Hermione had begun to silence her room at night to prevent her screams from getting out but had found that Rab would still persist and decide to spend the night with her most of the times this rendering her little adventure with traceable magic of no use.

Her nightmares has steadily reduced in number since the last one month during which she had come to accept her fate. She was proud of it. Her nightmares had often left her reeling with the aftereffects of the Cruciatus. Her present body may not have endured it but her mind had.

It would take sometime to get used to it. After all there was nothing she could do to escape her demons. She had to live with them.

Her memories would also keep her up at night sometimes. Those were the nights she especially despised bringing to her mind the happiest of her days. Those always hurt more for she knew in the heart of her hearts that she would never get them back try as she might. Her future with her loved ones would not be the same. She would perhaps now be more of an aunt to Ron and Ginny than a friend. That is, only if the Weasleys ever decided to trust a Lestrange. But perhaps they would. Hermione did plan to join the Order and one day the truth of her existence was bound to come to notice.

She sighed and closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep under the willow. She was once again visited by the laughing faces of Harry and Ron arguing over a chessboard while Remus lectured Sirius somewhere in the background to try and not to pick fights with Molly.

She was woken up by a loud CRACK.

Hermione got up and stood on her wobbly feet immediately falling back in a defensive state but righted herself as soon as she saw Blinky looking back at her.

'Miss Hermy, a Mister Black and a Mister Black is come to see you. They is waiting for you in the garden.'

Hermione smiled and was greatly pleased that Sirius and Regulus had accepted her invitation to come see her after having taken permission from Papa.

Hermione followed Blinky to the gardens and saw Sirius and Regulus dressed in black slacks and cashmere cardigans.

She laughed, 'Do you ever wear a colour other than black?'

Sirius smirked, 'Its all in the name, love.'

Regulus raised his brow, 'I thought you hated your name.'

'Our name, brother dearest. But don't you worry, once I'm at Hogwarts I'm going to have a wild wardrobe change.'

'Green and silver won't be much different than this bleak colour you always choose to wear, Sirius.' Hermione noted, wondering if he already had hopes of being a Gryffindor.

Sirius plopped down on a chair as regulus gracefully settled into his. Hermione was please once again to see that Sirius had begun to trust her enough to be himself around her and drop the aristocratic act. But then again it wouldn't take a lot for a child to trust you, would it.

Sirius responded with an evil grin, 'Oh it shall be scarlet and gold, Miss Lestrange. My mother is bound to have a fit.'

Regulus scoffed, 'Nobody in the family has been a Gryffindor.'

'I shall most likely set a new trend then. What about you, Hermione? Plan on being another Slytherin addition to your family?'

Hermione had to actually think about it. Surely the Hat wouldn't place her in Slytherin. 'We will have to see about that.'

'Yeah well whatever it is, you seem alright. You've passed my test.' He laughed.

The three children sat talking for a while when Blinky appeared once again with another house elf called Leder. They carried plates filled with sweets and a tray of tea and biscuit.

They vanished and the kids bit into their food with enthusiasm.

Sirius commented, 'If the food is half as good as this at the wedding come Christmas, I will gladly marry you one day Hermione for a life filled with such delicacy every day.'

Hermione blushed. Did her best friends godfather just hit on her?

Hermione chuckled, 'I think I'd rather give away that privilege to Regulus.'

Regulus laughed, 'Maybe I don't swing that way.'

Hermione was surprised. She could have probably expected such a comment from Sirius but Regulus even joking about preferring the male kind over the female was a shock. She had believed that Regulus had been a blood purist. A racist who had willingly chosen to follow Riddle and had left after a long time of inquisition on his own part but here he was talking to her so freely about things that were clearly a taboo especially in this time and in the lifeblood society. Hermione couldn't help but think that Regulus must have then brainwashed himself so as to fool not only Riddle but also his mother for the entirety of his life. Her heart really did go out to him.

She wondered when it would change for him. When he would begin to act like a bigoted, entitled pureblood heir.

Sirius barked out a laugh, 'I'm rubbing off on you, Reggie. Don't let mother catch you saying things like that.' He messed up his brother's hair.

*

Late at night that day she lay in bed thinking. She wouldn't have to make a move or even strategize for the next few years. She had only some goals for the coming years.

Save her brothers. Save Regulus. Save Narcissa. Save Lucius. Save Severus. Save Peter.

She realised that she had been placed at this particular moment of time for a reason. Maybe the fates had showed her a little mercy and had meant for her to have this second chance at childhood. Perhaps she was meant to enjoy her years at Hogwarts once again before things turned ugly again.

The war could not be stopped. It would come get her eventually. But for now, she would gladly revel in her newfound friendship for as long as she could.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.

Rab was once again home from Hogwarts for his summer holidays now preparing to return mentally equipped for his OWLs. Hermione really did wish to help relieve his worries but it would be incredibly suspicious for a ten year old to have such in depth knowledge of OWL subjects.

After Rolf and Bella had married under the English landscape adorned with beautiful white snow they had chosen to live in a villa on a private island owned by the family. This did not mean, however that Rolf ignored his duty towards his old grandfather and his two younger siblings. No, never. He visited home twice every week to spend some time with Hermione. When Rab was home from school he would visit more often. He would also meet with Papa every evening to discuss the family estate for Papa had finally decided that be would soon be relinquishing his hold as the Head of the House to Rolf.

Bella made a point to meet Hermione twice every month. Bella tried to get close to Hermione. She really did but it was only understandable that Hermione could never quite trust the woman. It wasn't that she didn't try. She just reacted extremely violently when in her presence.

Hermione had begun to peruse the library for everything she cohld find on Horcruxes.

She hadnt any idea how she would get basilisk venom without Harry's help. Even with Harry it would prove to be quite the difficult task to get into the Chamber of Scerets now that he no longer had a piece of Voldemort inside him that drove his ability of speaking Parseltongue.

She would have to figure out another way of destroying the horcruxes.

Fiendfyre would be an efficient way of destroying them but the question was how could she ever come to learn how to cast it much less control it.

Despite truly being a twenty one year old woman, her body was only just ten. It could not be expected to undertake the task of learning the ways of Fiendfyre. It would be too much of a taxing job on her body.

She had an idea though. Perhaps once things would get rough and Voldemort would be on his rise, Bella was bound to be his most loyal servant once again. Her blooming friendship with her could prove to be useful at a time like that for she could and probably would gladly teach young Hermione such Dark Arts in hopes of providing another pureblooded soldier to her master.

She laughed at her internal monologue. Pureblood. What an irony.

Hermione also tried in vain to search for the potion Voldemort used in the cave to protect the locket. She could take no chances for when Harry and her would finally visit the Inferi riddles cave.

She would retreive the diadem as soon as she could and keep it for safekeeping except she was scared what effects of would have on her mind. So she had also been looking to create a safe trunk to house the horcrux for when she finally found it.

-o-o-o-

Hermione hadn't had a nightmare this terrifying in a long time. She had dozed off while reading a book in the library after having had an ample dinner with Rab.

She dreamt about her parents that night. She dreamt of the way they had been murdered.

She had found out a year after she had obliviated their memories that they hadn't even made it as far as to the airport before the Death Eaters had struck. She could imagine their fright. She could imagine their pain.

But the worst part was that they died thinking nobody would remember them. They died thinking they had nobody.. no daughter who would cry for them.

She awoke to Rab patting her back and holding her close to his chest. In times like that Rab had an uncanny ability to forego the twinkle in his eyes and partake the seriousness of an old man.

Hermione cried silently as he cooed sweet nothings in her ear.

'I know you want to know what's wrong with me, Rab.' She whimpered.

Rab nodded against her head, 'You have been different since this last year.. I don't know what happened. You were always such a lively child and all of a sudden you turned into a shell of the person you used to be.' He sighed. 'I worry about you, Mi. As do Papa and Rolf. You have to let us help you.'

Hermione didn't know what to say. She had heard Papa discussing with Rolf about reaching out to a mind healer. But Hermione couldn't possibly afford to be analysed like that. She had been putting it off for a while now. So she decided to give him a half truth. After all, he deserved that much. He truly did love his little sister.

'I have been having dreams, Rab. As if they're .. out of someone else's life. And they are oh so horrifying.'

Rab pulled back and looked deep into her eyes. 'What happens in these dreams? I've heard you mumble all these names. Who is.. Harry? And Ron?'

Another dam broke and she struggled to gather herself. 'I don't know.' She chose to say, 'I keep seeing them die and being separated. I don't know what to tell you, Rab.'

'Mi, promise me when you do, you will come to me. Please. I cannot lose you. Not so soon after Mother and Father.'

Rab dropped a kiss on her head and carried her to her bedchamber. He lay her down on her bed and settled in beside her. He picked up a book from her bedside table.

It was a Muggle book called Pride and Prejudice. He laughed, 'And where did you get this, sister?'

Hermione backpedaled. She was caught. 'I have my secrets', she mumbled.

'No doubt you do,' Rab chuckled. 'This will piss him off to no end. Don't let Rolf catch you reading such Muggle filth, as he would put it.'

He read the summary on the backside of the book and exclaimed, 'Ah a tale of love between a man and a woman from different classes. How romantic. My sister's likes herself a love story.'

He laughed as she scoffed. 'And here I thought you were on your way to be an intellectual.'

Hermione hit him on his arm, 'Academicians happen to harbour an admiration for great literary pieces.'

'Yes, of course. So when did you meet Sirius and Regulus last? Haven't seen those boys in ages. You should write to them. It'll cheer you up.'

Hermione sighed, 'I only just met Regulus last week. And you're doing enough at cheering me up.' She whispered so softly that he was hardly able to make out what she said. 'I don't need anybody else.'

Rab grunted. 'Papa shall be late tonight. You want me to read you to sleep, Mi?'

Hermione was touched. Her father had spent countless nights reading her the very same book. It wasn't a bedtime story but it was their thing.

Hermione hugged him tight and cuddled into his side as he began to narrate the life of a Miss Elizabeth Bennet.

Who would have thought? Hermione Granger, a muggleborn branded as filth by Bellatrix Lestrange would be put to sleep as a child by none other than Bella's very own dear brother in law.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.

Sirius grumbled, 'Mother would never allow such festivities. The tree at our place reeks of old age. Wonder how long she's been pitching in the same tree.

It's almost as if the woman is allergic to anything happy.'

Hermione laughed lightly as Rab picked her up and helped her place the star at the top.

Sirius smiled at her gleeful delight.

Papa stood beside his only granddaughter, content in her happiness.

'Cant we just get to the presents already?' Regulus prodded the gifts wrapped and placed gingerly beneath the tree.

Rab slapped his hand away and pulled him aside. 'No. Don't spoil the fun, Reggie.'

The normalcy of how things were at the Lestrange household never ceased to surprise Hermione. Nit even after having spent more than a year with them.

Could it be that it had only just been Bella's presence that had triggered their journey towards the Dark arts or something much worse had happened somewhere along the way.

Whatever the case may be, Hermione would enjoy it for as long as it lasts. Nobody knew better than she did how quickly things could fall apart and the world turn into a nightmare.

-o-o-o-

The following morning had been fun-filled. It had ended with a snowball fight amongst the younger kids as Rab had left soon after presents were exchanged to visit his friend Dolohov.

Hermione had protested against her brother meeting that foul man. Rab had seemed so.. pure. So free of anything even remotely evil. How could a boy like him be friends with the man who had given Hermione her very first scar in the war.

This was another Christmas without the Weasleys. But as the time passed in this new timeline, she had grown accustomed to her new family as well. She had enjoyed her previous Christmas thoroughly. She had shed tears, yes but Rab, Sirius, Reggie and Papa had made it feel like home. Almost.

Even Rolf. But Bella had been a different case.

Hermione noted that as time went on Bella kept turning into something more sinister. It was in the meaningless things she would say and the small things she would do. But it was there. She was turning into the deranged woman she would be remembered as.

Her only regret was she couldn't find any way to help save her brother Rolf.

As night approaced the two Lestrange children and their Papa waited in the parlour for Rolf and Bella to arrive.

The Black brothers were also present making idle talk. Sirius was engaged in a game of wizard's chess with Rab and Regulus and Hermione sat discussing simple hiusehold charms which Hermione found quite amusing coming from Reggie.

When the older couple had finally arrived the family and the Black boys made their way over to dinner.

Sirius felt quite uncomfortable in the presence of his cousin who had always found it a jolly old good pastime to torment Sirius with her aunt Walburga. Sirius would never admit to anybody in the world about how he had spent countless evenings under Walburga's wand as Bella watched on requesting to help her in some way. Not even Reggie knew the full extent of their cousin's inhumane madness.

Bella commented, 'Hermione, although I do appreciate you having finally found some friends but wouldn't it be more appropriate for you to seek a bond with some well mannered girls.'

Rolf agreed, silently nodding. 'Bella could introduce you to some very admirable young girls of the society.'

Hermione suddenly felt prickles of annoyance course through her body. She bit her lip from saying something she would later regret.

'Of course now Regulus is an excellent boy when not with his brother Sirius but he's easily corrupted. And Sirius sees to it that he's always getting poor Reggie fall in trouble. How my dear Aunt Walburga laments over the useless boy.'

Sirius seethed with anger and had to remind himself he was in somebody else's house and couldn't lash out. He might enjoy riling up his own family even at the risk of being punished but he would not make a scene out of respect for his friend Hermione.

Bella kept going on, feeling completely at ease and pleased with herself at having caused such discomfort to her least favourite cousin. The mongrel.

'Who could say he's the heir to the Most Ancient House of Black. Once he's carted off to that foolish Muggle lover's school I'm sure Aunt Walburga would manage to finally take Regulus and remove from his mind any inkling of loyalty he may feel towards the spineless boy.'

Regulus looked painfully at Sirius who refused to meet his eyes.

'Tell me, dear cousin,' whatever cutting remark Bella had been about to make at Sirius' expense was interrupted by Papa.

'That's quite enough, Bella.' He commanded in a voice that brokered no arguments. 'Let us not let such petty matters ruin the festivities.'

Bella bowed her head. She looked at Sirius and smirked.

-o-o-o-

Regulus lay on his bed, thinking.

'Sirius?' he whispered into the darkness.

Sirius grunted in response. He had never felt so humiliated. What would Rab think? He had come to greatly admire the boy in only a matter of three days.

God forbid, what would Hermione think of him now? Would she fall prey to the leers Bellatrix had thrown at him?

'You know I'll never let Mother corrupt me into becoming a bigot, right?'

Sirius turned to face his little brother and smiled at him. 'You couldn't even if you wanted to. You're too good for your own sake, Reggie.'

Regulus nodded. He eventually drifted off to sleep.

But for sirius it sas an entirely different matter. Be twisted and turned but sleep wouldn't come to him.

Shortly after the Sun had begun to rise, he heard someone knock at the door.

Sirius got out of his bed and moved to the door. He opened it to find Hermione dressed in a warm emerald coloured cloak covering her from foot to toe.

He was terrified of what she had come to say to him. Surely a visit at such time could not be about anything good. He was certain she'd ask him to leave immediately. He only hoped she would let Reggie stay. She wasn't only Sirius' first friend outside of the family. She was Reggie's first friend too. Walburga had simply never let her boys mingle with anybody else deeming everyone as something akin to dirt under her nails.

'Is Reggie asleep?' she asked.

Sirius nodded his head bracing himself for what she was going to ask him to do. 'Look, if you think I'm.. undeserving or something as twisted at that.. I'll leave. You only have to say the word and I won't be a bother but please don't throw him away. He respects you. He loves spending time with you and Rab.'

Hermione took one look at the young boy and found her heart reaching out to him. He had just been insulted by his cousin. And she was certain it hadn't been the first time. But something like that to have happened in front of his friends would have mortified the boy.

Here was an untarnished Sirius who was begging her to stay friends with his brother. Destiny would have him hating the very same boy a few years down the line.

She couldn't help but think of how his life would turn out. She couldn't, for the life of her, let him be damned like the last time. This boy deserved the world and so much more. He wouldn't be dragged to Azkaban without a trial. He wouldn't be committed to a life of sorrow.

No. She would see to it.

Hermione hit him lightly on his head. 'Oh, shut up you git. I don't care what Bella says. She's barmy, I tell you. You're everything she could never be. Now stop wallowing and come with me.'

Sirius was surprised. He had honestly expected her to throw away the friendship they had built over the course of the last year.

He nodded distractedly and silently followed her.

Hermione led Sirius to the terrace. She had only just found out the corridor leading to it a week ago. They both slowly climbed up the stairs and carefully made their way onto the roof.

The two settled down and watched as the sky slowly turned yellow from its pink hues. There was snow sprinkled all around them. Hermione's cheeks were coloured red in the cold. She was shivering slightly.

'As much as I love spending time with a fine lady as yourself but is there a point to this or you merely wish to let me catch a nasty flu?' He grumbled distastefully.

She took out a package from beneath her cloak and handed it over to Sirius who took it in his shivering hands. 'What is this?'

'Just another gift.' Hermione mumbled into the cold wind.

He quickly tore through it and found an oversized scarlet sweater with the letter S sewn into it.

Hermione looked at him as his eyes grew in wonder and smiled a little ruefully. She couldn't help but remember another black haired boy whose green eyes had lit up upon receiving his very first knitted sweater from Molly Weasley after years of abuse and neglect.

Harry and Sirius had been so alike. She wondered if they had ever realised.

'Look, I'm not the best at knitting. And since I'm not allowed to do magic yet, it was definitely not an easy feat. Also I don't have a very good history at knitting. But I figured you'd need to start creating your new wardrobe seeing we'll be leaving for Hogwarts soon.'

'I love it!' Sirius exclaimed pulling the sweater over his head. He felt warm and snuggled even deeper into it despite the many irregular patterns it harboured.

He hugged Hermione so tight she had to cry out, 'Sirius! Let me go! I can't breathe.'

Sirius had to laugh at her expression. 'Hermione.. I.. thank you. Nobody has ever thought about me before. I have Reggie, sure. But.. thank you.'

Hermione just smiled.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.

Hermione had received her Hogwarts letter. She had gotten all her supplies. School wouldn't be a task. She could focus on her.. extracurricular activities.

The day before the Hogwarts Express would take off from King's Cross at London, Hermione was summoned by her grandfather.

'Hermione, dear, come here.' Papa croaked in a broken voice from where he was seated in his study. His old age was more apparent than ever since his health had begun to deteriorate. His pale fingers beckoned her towards him.

Hermione promptly settled into the chair in front of him and he took her hands within his.

He looked into her eyes, 'You are a brilliant young woman. You hold views .. which might not be entirely acceptable to most people you're going to spend the majority of your school life with.'

Hermione had suspected she would receive a word of caution from her family and was ready. 'I know, Papa. I know Slytherin house is not tolerant of muggles and muggleborns. Rab has told me all about it. But you cannot ask this of me. I will not be forced to pretend.'

Papa nodded his head and stood up, 'I wouldn't expect you to. You're a brave one, you. I wouldn't be surprised if you were put in Gryffindor. But as a part of the Sacred Twnety-Eight, I must insist that you keep your opinions.. to yourself.

Hermione, you know very well that I do not look down on Muggle lifestyle and their ways. I bear no ill towards them. As much as I condone maintaining our position at the top strata of the wizarding society as purebloods, I do not denounce muggleborn heritage.'

Hermione began to speak up but Papa beat her to it.

'You misunderstand me, child. I have never tried to instil upon you the beliefs I was conditioned into having. I have seen grow into an independent and a modern young lady. All I'm asking of you is to not go seeking trouble and always be mindful of your company. Your ideas, as noble as they may be, if spoken in the presence of other blood purist families will be frowned upon. It is my duty to caution you about the future we are heading into.'

Hermione frowned. Had Tom begun his selfish quest already?

'Blood purity among the older families has always been a matter of great pride and these families are rising together. Word has it some radical man has been going around recruiting those who favour such extreme measures against muggles, other lowly creatures and even half bloods. If it ever turns into something much.. darker than it is now, I simply don't want you at risk of any harm.. from either side.'

Hermione had to smile at that. If only he knew. Nevertheless, she understood his concern and was greatly relieved too. So far she had merely been assuming that Papa wasnt entirely hellbent on Wizarding dominance but to have her belief confirmed was a balm. Rab, too it seemed, was quite ahead of his times. She was glad to have returned in time in this family. She wondered how she would have managed as a Malfoy or a Black where "mudblood" would be a common term thrown around the dinner table and slurs against muggles and half bloods a usual occurrence.

But as releived as she was she also worried for her older brother Rolf. Rolf had taken greatly to Bella and Bella had slowly been pushing him further towards such extremist ideas.

Hermione pinched her nose and got up to touch Papa gently on his arm. 'Do not worry yourself on my account, Papa. I will make a capable witch. I'll look after myself. And Rab will be there. I need you to not think about anything other than getting yourself better.'

She hugged him lightly and Papa vent down to drop a kiss on her head.

'I can see you're going to change the world, my dear.'

The next morning Hermione was overcome with jitters yet again.

Not only was she incredibly anxious about being at Hogwarts without the company of her friends.. her true family, she was also scared at the prospect of not finding Harry waiting for her.

The last month had been spent worrying over Harry's absence in this timeline. She could only hope that he would show up during the Sorting.

It was going to be hard enough facing her school life, her true home without Ron and Ginny on her side. If she couldn't find Harry, she feared she would break down.

His absence would conolidate her loneliness for once and all. She might have created a new life for herself in this time. She had found a brother who loved her. She had even found the love of a parent through Papa. She had made great friends in Sirius and Regulus who would often come to see her, but she could never make it without Harry. She couldn't defeat Tom without him.

Rab clicked his fingers in front of her eyes bringing her out of her reverie.

'I'm sorry. Just anxious.' Hermione whispered.

Rab nodded sympathetically. He could see his sister was burdened by something. Surely she couldn't be that intimidated by the prospect of school. She was simply too strong for that. It seemed she was bothered by something entirely different but he chose to keep his.mouth shut for now.

'Come on, let's get you settled in.' He boarded her trunk into the train and led her to an isolated carriage. 'I'm going to have to go up ahead. I'm truly sorry I can't spend your first ride with you.'

Hermione smirked at him. 'Both of us know you're overly excited to get the Prefects' Coach, dear brother. I know what's got you all flustered. It's Melinda, isn't it?'

Rab frowned at his sister's nosiness. One mention of the girl two summers ago had been enough for Hermione to see that however much of a Casanova Rab pretended to be he was smitten with his best friend.

Hermione laughed at his expression and pushed him out.

Rab turned to leave and smiled, 'I am sure Sirius will be here somewhere. He will find you.'

Hermione nodded and sat down facing the window, looking out at the children pouring in on the platform.

She had insisted on coming early. She had wanted to keep a look out for messy jet black hair. She had to find Harry.

As the platform got busier she still hadn't caught a single glance at him and was starting to worry again. Hermione closed her eyes. He would be here. She would see him at the Sorting, no doubt. Or perhaps he was a second year or even higher up. Nonetheless, he would be here. She had to believe it.

Soon after the train had jostled out of the platform with parents waving enthusiastically at their children Hermione stood up and clutching her wand tightly into her hand she left her coach.

It wouldn't hurt to go seeking him in the train.

She began making her way through the crowded lobby often catching a glance of oddly familiar faces she couldn't name. She figured she was just looking at the parents of many students she had shared her classes with.

She was also keeping an eye out for Sirius. He had written to her the previous week telling her he'd save her a seat. So far she hadn't been successful in finding either of the black haired boys.

She kept walking in the direction of the hubub and peeked into the various coaches that lined the length of the train. Once or twice she had to stop to take in the happy faces unmarred by the worries of a war. Children who were in the truest sense completely free. Devoid of any pain left behind by the passing away of a closed one.

This was how it should have been for Harry, Ron and herself.

She kept repeating to herself. He's here. He's here waiting for you.

She didn't see the blur of black hair that came rushing towards her. A gangly looking boy with messy black curls was pushed into her body resulting in the two kids falling down into a heap.

Hermione turned towards the boy and a huge grin adorned her face as she looked into the face of her best friend. She quickly enveloped the boy into her arms and drank in all the details of his face. Two years she had spent imagining him but nothing could have done justice to the boy before her.

Harry. He was here. Harry with his hair that stood up in all directions. Harry with his crooked grin. Harry with his.. hazel eyes?

As quickly as the smile had brightened her face, Hermione found her jaw slacken and her heart being torn out of her chest.

Lying beside her wasn't Harry but James Potter. Tears threatened to pool out of her eyes. Gathering herself she got up and reluctantly offered her hand to the boy still whining on the floor.

James grabbed the hand offered to him and stood up, 'Oh, I am so sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. It's just the excitement of it all, really. I swear it won't happen again.'

Hermione smiled ruefully at the sight of this haphazard innocent little boy. As much as he looked alike her best friend he was nothing like him.

Where Harry chose to spoke in few words James seemed like a boy brimming with thoughts. Where Harry was shy and timid, James was bursting with life.

Hermione cleared her throat breaking the boy out of his rambling, 'Its alright. It's my first time too.'

James grinned widely at her, 'Well I'll be off then. See you at school!'

With that the boy disappeared down the lobby.

Hermione her her way to the lavatories and locked herself inside. He wasn't here.

He wasn't here. He wasn't here. He wasn't here.

She was alone. She was all by herself stuck in a foreign time with foreign people who brought out memories inside her that caused her nothing but pain.

Tears escaped her eyes as Hermione realised the reality of what her life had become. A graveyard of hopes.

What was she to do? How could she ever save these people when she had nobody to call her own. Nobody to help her along the way.

She slid down the wall and buried her head in her hands taking deep breaths.

She had to stay calm.

He would be that the Sorting and if not. Well she would wait. She would wait for however long it took. She knew he would find her. They would be together. The ritual couldn't go wrong. She was proof of it. If she was alive she had to believe he was too.

She stood up and splashed her face with cold water and returned to her coach.

Her mind now tore at her reminding her Sirius wasn't here either. She hadn't found the boy anywhere.

No matter. He was probably looking for her too. She just had to sit still in her own coach and wait for him to find her.

She returned to her coach and entered to find a blond haired boy with iridescent blue eyes who looked up at her and smiled.

Hermione gave a small smile in return and introduced herself.

'Hullo! Everywhere else was full. I hioe I'm not inteuding. I am Peter Pettigrew,' the boy said with an air of tone that suggested nothing but confidence.

Hermione's brows shot up into her forehead. She had imagined Peter to be a mousy boy who was shy and overshadowed. A boy who stuttered and fumbled. But what she saw in front of her was a boy very much secure in his skin.

For a moment a strong hatred surged through her veins. Here sat the catalyst to the greatest wizarding wars. But she yet again repeated her mantra to herself.

She was here to make sure he didn't do what he had done in his previous life.

Quickly regaining composure she nodded, 'Pleasure meeting you. It's your first year too?'

He nodded with enthusiasm, 'Oh yeah. I'm terribly excited. Although I've been told we are going to fight a troll to see which house we're sorted into.'

Hermione chortled, 'That's bull.'

Peter raised his brow in surprise. The girl seemed all iron and steel.

She asked, 'Whoever told you that?'

'Some bloke called Potter.'

Hermione snorted, 'Don't believe a word he says. He's too much trouble for what he's worth.'

The two spent the duration of the ride playing exploding snap and discussing a thing or two about the subjects they'd be studying and their professors.

But as they kept getting closer to their destination, Hermione began feeling her stomach churn in anticipation. She wasn't sure she was ready. She immediately quietened down during the later part of the trip.

As the children got down the train at Hogsmeade station she heard Rab call out her name.

'Hey, you okay?'

Hermione hugged him tight, 'Yes. Here, Rab, meet Peter.' She pointed at her new friend.

Rab grinned at him and shook hands with him.

'Where is Sirius? I wanted to wish him luck before the Sorting.' Rab questioned.

Hermione shrugged.

Rab frowned, 'Well, in any case. Don't worry, you kids. I'm proud of you no matter what, 'Mi.'

He patted her back and left with his friends.

Hermione was then ushered towards the boats by Hagrid.

Hagrid was a sight to the sore eye. He appeared ever carefree and happy with his booming voice, 'Firs' years over here!'

She kept close to Peter. She was completely certain the friendship between Sirius and James had already been forged. There was no other reason she could think of which might have led Sirius to ditch her.

Getting into a boat, the two were accompanied by a black haired girl who introduced herself as Marlene McKinnon. They were also joined by a quiet looking brown haired boy called Frank Longbottom.

Pride swelled inside Hermione's heart for the brave boy he would grow up to father.

The boats moved swiftly over the river. Hermione braced herself for the first glimpse of Hogwarts she was soon going to get.

She shut her eyes completely. As she heard the throng of excited first years gasp with wonder, she was sure they could see it.

She reluctantly opened her eyes and saw Hogwarts looming over them like a wisened sentinel. As majestic as ever, it was everything a child could dream of. And yet as she looked at it her mind conjured up the images of burning towers and shattered walls and tumbling stones.

She rid herself of such morbid thoughts forcing her mind to empty itself.

She finally caught sight of Sirius talking animatedly with an equally thrilled James Potter and a shy boy who kept his eyes averted to the ground during the entirety of the conversation. It must be Remus.

Hermione quickly looked away from him. True, she was a woman well in her twenties but she was still hurt about how quickly Sirius had forgotten all about her.

A snide voice inside her head told her this was how it was supposed to he. Sirius would always be James' friend. Not hers. She didn't belong here.

Peter dragged her to the front of the first years. 'This is going to be amazing! I'm telling you, Hermione. This is the start of something big!'

Hermione smiled tightly. If only he knew just how big everything would be.

'Seven years of our lives will be sealed today. Just like that. In no amount of time. I do hope I'm a Gryffindor.'

The first years gathered together and waited. They were all talking excitedly to each other, chattering among themselves about inconsequential things.

Hermione felt someone tap her shoulder, turn her around and hug her briefly. She looked up to find Sirius Blacks' grey orbs looking down at her with a smiling face.

Hermione scowled and turned away from him.

Sirius' face fell, 'Hermione? I'm sorry. I completely forgot. I met James here,' he complained as he pulled the said boy to his side, 'and lost track of time. I'm telling you the bloke's wonderful. So is Remus. Where did he run off to by the way?' He looked around.

'Think of all the things we could do together if we put our brains together. All the pranks we could subject the Slytherins to.'

Hermione tensed.

'Not all of us are hoping to break the family tradition, Sirius. You know very well I could and most probably will be a Slytherin.'

In fact she was going to ask the Hat to put her in Slytherin. She had made the choice already. It would place her in the prime of things and help get into Tom's inner circle.

Sirius frowned, 'Come now, Hermione. You're completely lacking in the area of cunning. You're a brave soul ' He chortled.

Hermione said, 'Does it matter what house we are in?'

James looked aghast at that. 'Your house means everything. You can't be a Slytherin or I definitely don't approve of your friendship with Sirius here.'

Hermione glared at him. 'Approve? And who would ask you for any sort of approval?'

Sirius tried to placate her. 'He's only joking. Don't worry. You won't be a Slytherin.'

All this while Peter looked on but sensing his new friend's discomfort he tugged onto the sleeve of her cloak and pulled her aside.

Sirius looked miffed and partly annoyed.

Peter whispered, 'You okay?'

Hermione nodded. 'Its nothing'.

He grinned, 'For what it's worth, I won't treat you like a pariah if you were a Slytherin and I turned up a Gryffindor. The infamous rivalry between two houses is senseless and stupid. We're talking about the brave and the cunning. Imagine the two ciming together. They would be unbeatable!'

Hermione was startled by the gentle side she had just seen Pettigrew, the rat treat her with. The boy could simply not turn into a traitorous bastard. What had happened to him?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.

Minerva McGonagall stood before her students commanding every bit of attention she deserved.

As she gave out instructions to the students in her Scottish baroque, Hermione was transported back to the time she had first been sorted. She had been so fearful and anxious.

But today as she listened to her favourite teacher speak so elegantly and boldly, she was reminded of the day Hogwarts had fallen to the dark forces and how her teacher's body had lay on the castle grounds broken and beaten.

The students filed away in a single line and followed the professor into the Great Hall. Hermione kept her head down, not daring to look at anything around her for she knew if she did she would only be brought face front with memories she would rather push into the farthest crevices of her mind.

She could feel the pure, unadulterated happiness that seemed to be oozing out of the children around her. In that moment she truly did feel alienated. Once again the feeling of not belonging to this time came to her.

As the Hat was placed in front of the school and its song begun, Hermione counted till ten and slowly opened her eyes. She found that she was standing right behind Sirius and James and apparently Remus.

So she chose to focus solely on the three boys and how they looked entranced by the Hat and the ancient magic surrounding them.

Peter beside her was an entirely different matter. Instead of staring hard at the Hat he was looking around himself, soaking up everything his eyes lay upon.

Hermione sighed. She had had enough of self pity. Yes, she had fought in a war. Yes, she was still healing but she couldn't keep on running away from everything. She should be grateful of the second chance she had been granted and make the most of it.

What she wouldn't have given to be with Harry right now. They were supposed to be in this together.

'Okay. You're twenty two years old. Suck it up.' She said to herself.

She looked at each child walking up to the stool and having the Hat be placed over their head. She saw how the kids trembled and fumbled as they made their way.

She almost smiled at their antics.

She made one last effort at carefully examining the student body. No sign of Harry.

Perhaps, next year.

As Professor McGonagall called out, 'Black, Sirius' the young boy strutted up to the front of the entire student body and plopped down onto the stool in that carefree manner of his that made everything he did look so effortless.

The crowd watched on and as the Hat shouted, 'Gryffindor!' there was a silence so profound that had settled across the hall that everybody heard the meowing of the cat held in the hands of Filch, the caretaker.

Even the teachers seemed perplexed and out of their depth. Dumbledore, on the other hand, merely smiled with a twinkle in his eyes.

Sirius got up from the stool and smirked at the Slytherins who were the most surprised.

The Heir of the purest of all pureblood families had just been put into the House of the reckless.

Despite his demeanor and knowing how much he had wanted this, Hermione could still see the nervousness on his face as walked towards the Gryffindor table who looked at him as if he was the strangest creature on Earth. She knew he feared rejection.

Hermione muttered, 'Oh honestly.'

She clapped her hands with so much enthusiasm that the hall eventually picked up apart from the still very much stunned Slytherin table.

James patted Sirius on the back as he passed him and the Sorting continued.

Hermione saw a red blur of hair when Lily Evans joined the Gryffindors. She particularly avoided looking at her.

Seeing James had been painful enough but if she was to look at Harry's mother and see the greenest green in the world she would fall apart.

Very soon it was Hermione's turn.

McGonagall called out, 'Lestrange, Hermione.'

Peter squeezed her hand and whispered in her ear, 'Doesn't matter where you go.'

Hermione nodded at him gratefully. She would be losing all her friends today. She knew soon Peter would be a Marauder and James and Sirius' inhibitions would keep him away from a slimy Slytherin such as herself.

Hermione gingerly sat on the stool and looked at the students in the Hall. There were so many of them. Much more than had been in her own time. She wondered why.

As soon as the tip of the Hat touched her head, she was startled. She almost fell out of her seat.

'Ah, Miss Granger. Curious. Curious, indeed. Never before have I met someone as unique as you. You seem anxious. He will find you. But beware, never let the darkness consume you for one day there will come a time when you shall be tmepted.

Now where to put you? There's enormous wit here. Also bravery and loyalty. Ah, ambition too. You are still as courageous as ever if not more. Living among snakes shall be a difficult task for the Lionheart in you but seeing as you have made your choice..

'SLYTHERIN!' the Hat yelled.

There were cheers only from one side of the Hall but Hermione didn't mind. How could she? She wouldn't matter to them anyway.

Peter smiled encouragingly at her as she passed him and her heart truly did reach out to this boy who would be hated by everyone he loved one day.

She was greeted by her brother who hugged her tight and introduced her to all his friends while the sorting went on.

'This is Antonin Dolohov.' He pointed towards a dark haired boy with a permanent sneer on his face. Although his face seemed to turn a slight bit politer at the prospect of meeting someone of such purity in blood and importance. Her name and status would ensure that nobody, Slytherins alike, would ever question her. It would always grant her immunity.

Dolohov placed a chaste kiss at her knuckles. Apparently pureblood tradition followed even into school.

'Melinda Gracehawk.' He blushed a slight shade of red as he pointed at the gorgeous blonde sitting beside him.

Hermione smiled and shook her hand, 'Pleasure to make your acquaintance Miss Gracehawk.'

Melinda shook her head. 'Oh none of that, please. Call me Melinda.'

Rab held Hermione's hand, 'Papa and Rolf will be so proud of you, 'Mi. Slytherin is going to greatly benefit from your mind.'

Hermione gave him a tight lipped smile, avoiding his inquisitive eye. However, Rab had the uncanny ability of reading her expressions very well.

'Are you not happy?'

'I am. Very much so,' she said.

'You needn't be daunted by the prospect of the animosity we are shown. It's only the Gryffindors you need to look out for. The other two houses aren't that .. forward about their distaste towards us. Besides, this isn't the entirety of your life. It will never decide who you are.'

Hermione bit her lip and proceeded hesitantly, 'Rab, do the Dark Arts ever attract you?'

Rab frowned, 'They do but not for the purpose of torturing others or causing harm to the weak. They interest me because they're magic too. It's how we use them. I could use a very dark spell to save someone's life one day. Would you disapprove of that?'

'Never.' She herself had done the very same thing after all. 'But that's not what I meant.'

'I know you didn't. I won't turn into some dark wizards.' He laughed. 'Give your brother some credit, 'Mi.'

With that he turned to his friends and Hermione found that the Sorting had long ago finished and a variety of food adorned the table.

She filled her plate with some meat and filled herself a glass of butterbeer.

She turned to her right and saw she was sat beside a boy with greasy black hair and a hooked nose.

Severus.

'Hello. I'm Hermione G.. Lestrange.'

Well that would be the first and the last time she would make that mistake. She couldn't believe she hadn't thought about this but then again she could hardly be blamed. She hadn't introduced herself like that in the two years she had been here.

Severus nodded politely. He wouldn't pass up the chance of befriending a member of such a powerful and a presitigious family despite the fact of however desolete he may be feeling at having been separated from his best friend, Lily.

Slytherin house was known for its self preservation. He would make allies.

'Pleased to meet you. I'm Severus Snape.'

They made small talk for the remainder of dinner after which they left for the dorms together, following the Slytherin fifth year prefects.

Rab caught her hand and wished her a good night before leaving for his patrol.

As she left the Hall she saw a very annoyed Sirius who refused to meet her eye. Peter looked at her apologetically. James could be seen stealing covert glances at the beautiful redhead as Remus very carefully walked behind him.

Hermione forced herself not to think about it. She wasn't here to make friends. She was here to save them.

The Slytherin common room was as uninviting as Harry and Ron had once described to her.

She had eventually sought out her dormitory and had reached her bed. The girls around her, it seemed, were enraptured by her. They would be, given that her social status placed her above everyone else in the House orher than the Malfoys and the Blacks.

Good. They wouldn't bother her.

The girls made small introductions and silly curtsies which caused bile to rise up Hermione's throat.

She was repulsed by the idea of sharing a dorm with Alecto Carrow, Diana Parkinson, Felicity Bulstrode and Gertrude Burke.

Hermione quickly changed into her nightlclothes and shut herself from the others by pulling her curtains close.

She tightened her grip on her wand and cast various silencing spells on her bed as well as some strong wards. She could not afford the other girls snooping around her stuff of hearing her screams at night as a result of her nightmares which might be far dispersed and few but still very much present.

She settled into her bed and lay down. It had felt good to do so much magic in a day. It had felt.. liberating.

She cast various other complicated spells just because she could. It thrilled her. It felt almost as if a long lost part of her had been returned to her.

She drifted off to sleep with a cluttered mind. Dreams filled with Harry running away from her and Sirius sneering at her broken body at his feet plagued her.

The next morning at breakfast, Hermione was discussing the various uses of potions with Severus when the owls decided to fly into the Hall.

An elegant black owl settled before her. She immediately recognised him as her family owl Talon.

He deposited a letter to her and coming from behind her, Rab fed the owl some treats.

'Must be from Papa. Go on. Read it.'

Hermione opened the letter to find her grandfather's neat scrawl.

Dearest 'Mi

I cannot begin to express how ecstatic it makes me feel to find out you have been placed into the ancient House of Slytherin. I am certain you will only ever bring pride to your family. I eagerly await your letter by the end of this week giving this old man every tiny little detail about your new home.

Do convey my regards to your brother Rab and my heartiest congratulations to Sirius for becoming a brave Gryffindor just as he had wished to be. The Blacks will certainly be a bother for a while but I am certain the boy will rise above it all.

Your truest

Papa

She handed the letter over to Rab who read it diligently.

He commented, 'It really is sad about Sirius. Walburga will never let him hear the end of it.'

Just as he had finished speaking an ugly shriek filled the Hall as everyone halted to hear what it had to say.

'Sirius Black. You have brought shame to our family. It saddens me to call you my son for you are nothing but. You have not only caused my poor heart such great grief but been an insolent, thankless child with no sense of propriety. Wait till you return and I shall personally carve out..'

Before the entire student body could find out just how cruelly Walburga planned to punish her son, the Howler burst into flames as Hermione quickly muttered a spell.

James had on his face a look of complete disgust at what had been said about his new friend but looked gratefully at Hermione however reluctantly. House prejudice was truly posionous.

Peter silently commended her ability and Remus looked surprised at seeing such a display of skill by a first year.

Hermione chided herself at drawing attention but she wasn't going to let some deranged woman humiliate Sirius.

She looked at Sirius' haughty but slightly crestfallen face and tried to console him.

'Papa sends his congratulations and wishes to tell you to remain courageous in the face of everything your family is going to throw at you. He's certain you will make it through.'

Sirius looked away from her.

She went on, 'Sirius, don't be disheartened. She has always been barmy. You said so yourself, remember? She knows nothing.'

Sirius would still not look at her.

Hermione turned away, now truly hurt at the way he was ignoring her.

'I'm sorry,' she muttered and left.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.

After several weeks had passed, Hermione was still as clueless as ever about how to fix things.

She couldn't go looking for the diadem hocrux till the time she had perfected a safe place to keep it. And such protective charms, she had found, took extremely complicated incantations. Before she could proceed she needed to brew an especially difficult potion. The brewing would be easy but she wasn't sure if she could go plundering through Slughorn's stores without the invisibility cloak or the Map.

Maybe she could wait till Christmas and when Rolf took her and Rab shopping she might be able to get some of the ingredients. Nobody would question her especially if she could somehow sneak into Knockturn Alley and money would never be a problem in this time. She had her own tiny withdrawal vault filled with galleons that could last her years.

Wherever she went she was hitting a roadblock. She couldn't finish her research. She couldn't go looking for the horcrux. She couldn't bring herself to face Lily. She couldn't sort things out with Sirius.

He was hellbent on ignoring her existence entirely. Rab had been quite miffed at his behaviour and had threatened to have a word but Hermione had managed to stop him for the time being.

Rab was extremely disappointed in the young boy he had taken such great liking to. What was more frustrating was the fact that Sirius still talked to him. He still approached him for advice and clues for hidden passages.

It really did hurt Hermione's feelings.

Peter would seek her out occasionally on the weekends when he could and they would spend time together exploring the castle. Of course Hermione didn't need to but it was good company. Peter always managed to surprise her. And for his devotion and still persisting loyalty to her she had happily taken him to the kitchens one Saturday morning.

'How did you find this place?' Peter exclaimed. 'James and Sirius are going to be so excited. Hell, I think even Remus wouldn't mind breaking in here. The bloke loves chocolates!'

Hermione smiled. She was glad the Marauders had so quickly become a tight knit group. She knew it would happen but never realised it wouldn't take them even a year to form such a bond.

'I don't know. I was lost on my way to class one day and I just leaned against that painting of the pear and a door appeared.' Hermione lied.

Peter was being hounded by the many house elves who brought them all kinds of dishes and sweets and drinks.

Peter dug into his chocolate mousse and quickly filled the pockets of his cloak with eclairs as Hermione filled hers with sugar quills.

They left the kitchen and walked out into the grounds.

'Hey, Peter!' James hollered from behind the tree the Marauders often took residence under.

Peter looked apologetically at Hermione. 'I'm sorry.. they're just too prejudiced to look beyond your house colours.'

Hermione nodded, 'Don't worry. I don't care what they think about me.'

Peter left her quietly and she made her way towards the lake. She sat down on a giant rock and took out her wand conjuring tiny rose petals. She had found her rock completely by chance. It was well hidden from the castle and it's occupants. Nobody would see her doing spells even seventh year students had difficulty mastering.

She liked to escape to this tiny haven whenever she could. The castle still haunted her for every corner that she turned around there would be a phantom of someone from her past.

Her ghosts were all over the castle.

The wall which had fallen into Fred. The chamber Remus and Tonks had been in when the two had been hit by the killing curse. The grounds where McGonagall had lay. The Astronomy atower Dumbledore had fallen from. The faraway grounds where Harry had portkeyed to with Cedric's body.

They were everywhere and try as she might she couldn't escape.

Most days she was also hounded by survivor's guilt. Why her and why not them?

She closed her eyes and dozed off into a fitful sleep. She woke up to a warm hand shaking her urgently.

She blinked open her eyes to find a very worried Sirius frowning at her pale, sweating face.

'Hermione! You scared me!' He said.

'What happened?' she mumbled, looking around to see James and Remus carrying some fruit.

Peter said, 'You missed lunch. And then you missed dinner. Your brother is losing his shit.'

'Language,' Remus hissed lightly.

Hermione gasped noticing it really was dark outside. How did that happen?

Sirius went on explaining, 'Then we remembered you came here this morning and figured we'd check. We found you thrashing violently on the ground and muttering like you were crazy! What the hell could you have been dreaming about?'

Hermione blushed scarlet with embarrassment. These boys had just witnessed her in her most vulnerable state. She could have died of mortification. And how on earth could she be so careless? She may be at Hogwarts but leaving her walls down even here could prove to be absolutely disastrous.

Hermione chose to dispel any such thoughts coming from Sirius by picking onto the cold shoulder he shoved into her everyday.

'Finally talking to me then, are you?' She said coldly.

Sirius was taken aback at her harsh tone and looked sorry. 'That had nothing to do with it. I may not be talking to you but that doesn't mean you get to frighten everyone. I need an explanation right now. What was that?'

'I owe you nothing, Sirius. Leave me be. Thank you for finding me.' she got up and brushed some dirt off her cloak. 'I can find my way back.'

She pushed him lightly away from her personal space and turned to leave when James grabbed her sleeve.

Not being able to help herself Hermione whipped out her wand. She hadn't been this paranoid since the day she had arrived in this time. Honestly, what had gotten into her?

Noticing the hurt expression on James' face she muttered an apology.

James said to her calmly, 'We just brought you some food. In case you were hungry.'

Remus offered her an apple and a bunch of grapes timidly.

She smiled and thanked them biting into the apple. She truly was starving.

She walked away from them but Sirius soon caught up.

'You can't just walk away from me.'

'I can and I will.'

'Hermione, tell me what's wrong. Please. Your brother said you were better, that you'd stopped having those nightmares. But I can see it's started again.'

Hermione stopped dead in her tracks. 'He told you? Why would he tell you?' She shrieked at this complete invasion of her privacy.

'All those nights I spent in the room right next to yours you really think I could miss out on the screams that so often woke me up? Hell, even Reggie noticed and he's a very heavy sleeper. We obviously couldn't get in your room but when Rab would leave in the morning we would catch up with him. Don't be mad at him. He really didn't want to say anything but we were.. persistent.'

She whispered, 'You knew all this time? It isn't like you to not have pestered me about it.'

Sirius frowned, 'I am thrilled at your suspicion but look, tell Rab about it at least. I know I haven't been the best friend these past few weeks but.. just tell him.'

Not wishing to pick a fight she merely sped up and ran towards the Slytherin common room.

As soon as she entered she was whisked away into a corner by her brother.

He looked furious and anxious at the same time. 'Where have you been, Hermione Lucinia Lestrange? Have you any idea about how worried I have been the entire day? The entire House has been looking for you. You weren't with Severus as you usually are. You weren't in the library. You were nowhere. I was just about to go speak with Slughorn.'

Hermione mumbled, 'I was out by the lake and fell asleep.'

Her excuse fell flat on his ears. 'You were out by the lake and you fell asleep? For the entire day?'

'Yes.' She said forcefully.

Rab raised his brow, 'I don't believe that.'

'You can ask Sirius. He's the one who found me.'

Rab was surprised. 'He's talking to you again?'

'No, he came looking for me on your behalf since he's still on good terms with you.'

Rab rubbed her back, 'Look, he'll come around eventually.'

'It is so stupid, Rab. I don't see why he's even that upset with me. You're a Slytherin too. I'm not evil. We've been friends for two years. We've spent so many holidays together and he still thinks I've turned into some hag because I'm a Slytherin now.'

Rab chuckled, 'It really is quiet childish but you just have to give him some time. Blokes can be a little hot headed. He obviously cares or he wouldn't have gone looking for you.'

Hermione grumbled, 'Whatever. They're are not worth my time.'

Rab nodded furiously, 'Damn right they aren't. You better keep away from all of them, I'd say.'

Hermione laughed at his overprotectiveness.

'You know. I do wonder what you've been reading when you spend days holed up in the library. Performing a banishing spell on a Howler is not an easy feat. How you managed to do that on your first day at school is beyond me.'

Hermione looked sheepish. She couldn't get out of that.

'You have.. secrets, 'Mi.' He said to her quietly.

Hermione was speechless. She faltered, 'Rab, come now. I'm eleven. I'm not old enough to have secrets.'

He looked unconvinced. 'Just.. just try and stay inconspicuous. I am sure Papa had a talk with you before we left. There are people here at school who are looking out for the smart ones. Especially in our house.'

Coming from Papa worry about Tom had seemed rational but coming from Rab, practically still a child himself really did make her think that Tom was already on his mission and she wasn't privy to anything.

She had to step up her game.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.

A week before the students of Hogwarts were set to leave for the Christmas break, Hermione was reading a book on magical creatures researching basilisk venom when Severus Snape sat down in the chair beside her opening up his own potions textbook.

'This textbook is utterly useless.' Severus muttered while making his own little notes after crossing out several words in the book.

So he had been in this habit since very first year. He really was a potions genius.

'Surely the author of this book is more accomplished than you are in potion making, Severus.'

'His methods never amount up to perfect potions. They are close enough and functional but never perfect.'

'And why are you doing writing over these instructions?'

'Because I know better.' He mumbled. 'I have been experimenting a little here and there trying to find out different variations for each step in the potion we make during class. Besides, Slughorn lets me use his lab on weekends to work. That is how I've already discovered plenty little secrets.'

Hermione chuckled, 'I am glad you have found yourself a hobby.'

'You have to believe me. For instance, if we used the leaves of mugwort in place of its roots we would obtain a far more potent sleep potion.'

'For a first year you have mastered quite a lot of potion tricks.'

Severus faltered, unsure of how much he should reveal.

'My father disapproves of anything remotely related to magic. So I used to steal my mother's journals and read them in the middle of the night as my way of rebelling against him.'

Hermione frowned, 'Your mother is good at potions?'

'Exceptionally so. Of course she doesn't put her skill to use anymore because of that vile man.' He sneered.

The two fell into a comfortable silence, each working on their own projects. The hubub of hushed conversations around the common room and the scratch of Severus' quill were the only noises around Hermione fir which she was glad.

As much as she kissed the boisterous Gyffindor common room with its plush couches and chairs and its warmth Hermione was grateful to the undisturbed atmosphere of the Slytherin common room. Students merely ever celebrated here in the dungeons and chose, instead to keep to themselves and their closest friends.

After almost an hour Severus got up and said, 'I am going to go review my Charms homework with Lily.'

Hermione smiled and nodded at him.

'Would you like to join us?'

An invitation like that from Severus was high praise. But Hermione softly declined, 'I am just going to head to bed after I finish my essay for McGonagall.'

'But you're not even working on it. You're always reading.. something else. I wonder how you keep up such excellent grades. You're only behind Lily and that fool Lupin.'

Hermione shrugged and Severus left in a blur of black robes billowing about him.

The week passed with nothing of consequence that may have happened. Hermione attended her classes and turned in due essays. She finished the tests set out by the Defence teacher and scored the highest marks without having to ever stress he mind on it.

She had already created a schedule for herself for the Christmas holidays. As soon as she acquired the ingredients to her potion she would brew it and after coming back to Hogwarts she would start working on a leather case she had previously bought to make it foolproof and safe for holding the darkest of magic.

She removed her cloak and snuggled deeper into her sweater as the train left the Hogsmeade station the following Saturday.

Severus was quietly working on his potions textbook again often looking up and asking her questions when he was confused by something rather complex.

Hermione had formed an amiable friendship with Severus. It wasn't as trusting as her relationship with any other friend she might have had but it was something. She was certain when the time came she would be able to keep him away from the Dark Arts.

Severus was scribbling rather harshly onto a piece of parchment when the door to their compartment was opened by none other than Lily Evans.

Hermione gasped at seeing her eyes that immediately brought to her mind the thoughts of a still missing Harry.

Lily smiled gently at her, 'Hello. I believe we haven't met. I'm Lily Evans.'

Hermione grinned, 'Hermione Lestrange. It's a pleasure.'

'May I join you for the remainder of the ride?' She grumbled, 'The compartment I was sharing with my friends was just now invaded by those troublesome boys.'

Hermione nodded at her, 'Please, go ahead. Make yourself comfortable.'

Lily walked inside and sat beside Severus. Glancing at his work she chuckled, 'He is always correcting these potions books.'

Severus blushed lightly.

'What are those boys upto now?' Hermione inquired curiously.

Lily shrugged, 'Something about their next plan to sabotage the Slytherins for when they come back after the break.'

Hermione snorted. 'They should know that one day when we decide to retaliate our pranks will not be restricted to childish jokes.'

Lily frowned at that as did Hermione for she had honestly not meant to say that. Was she turning into a snake?

She shivered internally.

Severus merely chuckled. 'They won't see what's coming for them if Hermione here did decide on revenge.'

'Well as much as I disapprove of silly pranks I wouldn't mind helping you out.' Lily laughed. 'Those boys need someone to set them right. How does Professor McGonagall always let them go?'

As dusk neared and the students disembarked from the train Hermione said her goodbyes to Severus and Lily and began looking for Rab.

Noticing him coming towards her, she caught up with him and the two made their way away from the crowd.

When they caught sight of Papa, Hermione ran towards the old man and hugged him lightly.

Papa laughed jovially, 'There you are!'

Rab frowned, 'Rolf told me he would be coming to pick us up. What happened?'

Papa's face fell and his jaw twitched, 'He is busy elsewhere. I thought I would fetch you instead.'

Hermione cried, 'Papa, you shouldn't have. You should be resting.'

'I am feeling quite well today, dear.'

They slowly made their way towards the barrier when Papa caught sight of Sirius standing with his friend James and his family.

Papa bent down to look Sirius in the eye, 'My boy, are you well? Are you going home? If old Walburga troubles you, you can be assured that our home is always open to you should you require it.'

Mr Potter was baffled. Here was a man rumoured to be supporting the rising Dark Lord talking to a small boy as if he truly cared about him.

Sirius smiled up at the old man and shook hands with him. 'I am quite well, Sir. And thank you but I am joining the Potters for Christmas.'

Papa looked at Mr and Mrs potter and smiled politely despite the very suspicious looks he was receiving from them.

'I am glad. Sirius is a wonderful boy. I am certain he will bring you no trouble.'

Mrs Potter smiled kindly, 'We are only too happy to have him. James is full of praises for him.'

Papa looked at Sirius and James then. 'I am glad you have found another family to care for you.'

Sirius laughed, 'I am being forced, Papa. I would have spent the holidays at Hogwarts quite gladly but James insisted.'

Papa nodded at James, 'You are doing a good thing, son.'

He bid farewell to the family and left as his grandchildren bowed to the Potters. Hermione made a point to not look at Sirius at all but did shake hands with James. James hadn't been very hostile with her after their first night at school except for a prank here and there.

Back home that night Hermione carefully unpacked her trunk. She sat on her desk and tying her hair in a braid she set down to work.

She pulled out a sheet and made a list of Voldemort's known horcruxes and their locations.

The diadem was already in Hogwarts. The cup and the diary would be eventually given away to the Lestranges and the Malfoys but she was sure that wouldn't be happening for at least the next few years. The locket, she wasn't sure when it would be placed in the cave but she should be able to retrieve it somewhere in the late seventies for that had been when Regulus Black had went looking for it.

As for the ring, it would prove to be the most difficult to obtain. She remembered only too well how Dumbledore had been cursed in his quest for it.

After completing her list, Hermione began writing down the names of the first war's martyrs on another parchment.

She wished she had researched the first war more thoroughly in her time. She had known the statistics but never the details. She only remembered the Prewett twins and the McKinnon family as the only notable names who had been ruthlessly murdered in the first war.

Apart from them she vaguely remembered names like Gilbert Blake, Adrian Bones and Flavius Finnietta, all members of the Order.

She finished and charmed the parchments with several spells to ward off intruders. She then hid the sheets in her beaded bag.

Hermione sighed. It was almost midnight.

She was starving. She considered calling Blinky but thought better of it. She would grab something to eat and head to the gardens for a walk. It would be difficult going to sleep that night.

Hermione climbed down the stairs and quietly entered the kitchens where she was greeted by seven house elves making preparations for breakfast tomorrow.

They worked so hard.

Blinky approached her and happily made her a milkshake which Hermione quickly gulped down.

On her way to the garden she stopped short when she heard heated voices arguing.

Hermione quickly hid behind a tapestry and eavesdropped on the conversation going inside the sitting room.

'It is a just cause, Grandfather. Think of how greatly we shall be rewarded one day.' Rolf said.

Papa replied to him, 'I don't see why he needs my assistance when he has you.'

'He will require somebody to fund his missions. You are the Head of the House. Your presence would not only help with the finances but also aid in creating a firmer constitution. All the Heads of the Sacred Twenty-Eight would together present an unbeatable force.'

'I don't see why he would require my gold when he's a pureblood. And no, Rodolphus. I shall not join. Its shameful enough that you have let him brand you like an animal. A true pureblood would never enter into servitude.'

'It would only bring me honourm Grandfather, you must join him. We cannot afford to anger him or he shall most certainly punish us.'

Papa was adamant. 'Rodolphus. His ideologies are those of a fool. Do you honestly believe a helpless Muggle could steal a powerful wizard's magic? Muggles are no different than us. They may not have magic but look at the things they have achieved.'

Rodolphus laughed. 'Surely you can't be talking like a Muggle lover, Grandfather. You shouldn't go saying things like this in such dark times. The Dark Lord shall win. And despite our current disagreement I wouldn't want him bringing harm to you. If you keep spewing such ideas to the outside world not only would it besmirch our family's name but also cost you many a powerful enemies.'

Papa practically seemed to growl at this. Hermione hadn't expected such ferocity from a man of such an age. 'Are you threatening me, boy? You should do well to remember you are standing under my roof and it would take me less than a minute to have you removed from not only these lands but also all records that name you my heir. Leave my home and do not dare return unless you decide to redeem yourself.'

'You can't!' Rolf cried.

'Its that wife of yours. She has been soiling your mind since the day you began courting her. I knew nothing good could come out of a union with the Blacks. But I agreed for your sake. And look at yourself now. You are going against everything your parents taught you. You are a disappointment.'

'You may refuse but how will you stop Rab? You must realise the Slytherins at Hogwarts are already being recruited and the Dark Lord's ideologies are bound to reach him. He will follow in my footsteps. I know he will.'

There was complete silence and for a minute there Hermione had a horrible feeling that perhaps Rolf had attacked his very own blood but she was wrong for not a moment later Rolf hurried out of the room with a scowl so terrifying set on his face that she was truly scared of her own brother.

Hermione silently prayed to any Gods there may be watching over her. She had already lost one of those she had sworn to protect.

Rodolphus was lost to the Dark Side.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.

The next morning when Rab had asked Papa over the breakfast table about when Rolf would be arriving to take them to Diagon Alley things started to fall apart.

'He isn't coming to fetch you today either. I shall be accompanying you instead.'

Rabastan as observant as ever pointed out, 'Something is fishy about the entire thing, Papa. Is something wrong with him?'

Papa had spent the last night fruitlessly trying to sleep. He had to make a decision soon about how he would protect his remaining two grandchildren. The threat about Rabastan was very clear but he also knew that once Hermione came of age she would not be allowed to leave unscratched.

'It seems your brother has become increasingly invested in his Dark Lord's purpose. He is intent on following that fool and ridding our world of muggles. He has been accepted into his circle.'

Rabastan dropped the cutlery he was handling and assumed the most serious expression Hermione had ever seen him with.

'He is one of them?' he spat, disgusted. 'That doesn't sound right. He may not be very fond of muggleborns but he would never stoop to such petty lows. And what does he even expect to do about it? He can't go around murdering people. The ministry will put an end to this childishness as soon as these cowards show face to the world.'

Hermione pitied this young man who so clearly believed that the government was in power. She pitied how in one life he was probably bullied by his brother into following Tom against his wishes.

'The Ministry will be able to do nothing, Rab.' Hermione said softly, 'once this supposed Dark Lord has enough numbers, quite a few of them will also turn out to be officials with important places in the government. And once there are enough of these men and women the Ministry will fall and nobody will be able to put an end to their crimes which will undoubtedly turn more sinister with every next witch or wizard he recruits.'

Papa looked at her sharply. 'Hermione. You seem to have given it a lot of thought.'

Hermione complained, 'Papa, with all due respect you need to stop treating me like a child. I'm only eleven but I'm not blind. You and I both know what I say is true.'

'I am not trying to discredit you, child but I do not wish for you to get wrapped up in this mess.'

Rab cleared his throat, 'As concerning as it is that Hermione is spending too much energy in such dark ideas I'd say I'm more worried about Rolf. If it is as serious as you say it is then he could very well be risking his life. We can't just let him do that. He's our family.'

Papa sighed and rested his head on his arms folded on the table. 'I am at my wit's end. He won't listen to me. Neither can I force him. He is not a child anymore. The only reason I brought this up is because I want you to beware of him. In not so many words he threatened me he would try to come after you, Rab. He believes you shall be an indispensable addition to the Dark Lord's followers by virtue of your skills at the Dark Arts. Our family may not preach torture of muggles anymore but our children have always been raised to practice the Dark Arts.'

Hermione frowned. Her memories had no such recollection.

'Hermione, you are still young but once you enter your third year you too shall be expected to learn the most basics of them although by then your brother shall be finished with his studies. It is simply a given. I shall personally train you as I have trained your brothers before you.'

Hermione understood the greyness of this particular conversation. The Lestranges may not condemn muggles but they were not about to miss out on any opportunity, should it ever arise, to exert their dominance. To completely abstain from the Dark Arts would render them ignorant of various useful spells. And as immoral it may appear to some people Hermione no longer abhorred the idea of practicing dark magic herself. As Rab had once said to her, it was simply an end to a means which was not necessarily to be used against the weaker section of the world.

Rab cried out, 'I will never join those racists but we can't just sit and wait for Rolf to blow up. I can't just let him give up his life for such ridiculous ideas.'

'I have not the slightest idea about what to do, Rabastan. I can only urge you and Hermione to not follow in his footsteps. Please, for the love of God do not risk your life for such absurdities.'

Rabastan nodded firmly, 'Have no doubt, Grandfather.' This was no time for sweet endearments. In this moment Rab was truly a Lestrange man. 'I will not let harm come my way or Hermione's. In fact I shall try my hardest to bring Rodolphus back to his senses if I can. However, you can rest assured that I shall never give up my dignity or my beliefs. You have raised me well.'

Papa stood up and placed his hand on Rab's shoulders. 'I can only hope you are never presented with a choice that would ask you to choose among the safety of your two siblings.'

Hermione lightly touched her Papa's hand and kissed it. 'Papa, please. Trust us.'

As the Lestrange family navigated the many shops that lined Diagon Alley, Hermione was forced to feel quite awkward as several people rushed out of their way. Some out of fear, some out of disgust and some out of respect.

The regality of the Lestrange family was not lost to her but she hadn't expected to be treated as people of such importance.

She had very subtly gotten out of visiting every shop with the men accompanying her. With a promise to meet promptly an hour later at the bookshop the Lestrange men were leaving her at, the two left to attend some business.

When she was assured of their disappearance she quickly made her way to Knockturn Alley soon after she had cast a simple disillusionment charm on herself.

Although she merely wished to charm a case to house dark artefcats the potion still required ingredients that weren't exactly to be found in the possession of an innocent child.

When she had finally found the apothecary she removed the charm on herself and entered.

The shopkeeper smirked at her but to quickly dispel any thoughts he may have if manipulating her, Hermione expertly drew to her full height and used her aristocratic air to make sure he realised who she was.

The shopkeeper grumbled and obliged her by getting all the ingredients she demanded. She had added a few more ingredients to ensure that if she was somehow checked on one would think she was creating three separate potions instead of one.

'It seems like a terribly complex potion for you to be attempting.' The shopkeeper peered at her curiously.

'You shan't have to worry about that.' She presented him with a pouch full of galleons worth more than what the ingredients, however expensive, would ever account to.

She cast simple shrinking spells on all the items and turned around to place them inside her beaded bag which she always kept hidden beneath her cloak.

She hurried out of that dark place as soon as she was done and met up with her brother and her grandfather.

-o-o-o-

Come Christmas morning Hermione was surprised to find a present by Severus waiting for her at her window.

He had sent her a piece of heavily charmed parchment and quills that would allow her to work in secret and display something as meaningless as the names of celebrities she admired in case somebody ever tried to steal them. She was startled at his observation of exactly what she needed. She hoped he would like her present too.

Peter had sent her some chocolate frogs and sugar pasties.

The usual festivities were carried out and though the family missed Sirius but had to contend itself with Regulus.

Sirius had sent a letter to Papa wishing the family a merry Christmas, however which they replied to as one.

Reggie had arrived late in the evening and exchanged his gifts. Soon after dinner Reggie and Hermione sat on the the swing set in the gardens that they had first met at.

'Mother hates even the mention of his name.' Reggie said. 'I don't think she is ever going to accept him as a son but being the heir he can't be estranged. The family magic won't allow it.'

Hermione asked him, 'She must have been hell to live with these past few months.'

'You wouldn't imagine. She keeps harping on about muggleborns and how she expects me to right what Sirius has wronged. She has been teaching me spells before I even own a wand. Added to the mix is this rising Lord.'

'You have heard of him?'

'I only know Mother expects me to join as soon as I can and I'm only ten years old.'

Hermione closed her eyes as the cold wind blew her hair around her face. It was sad how children were still so burdened. The only difference was that in this time the threat hung around the heads of the children born on the Dark Side. The Light Side was still ignorant of the changing politics.

'Does he still write you?' Hermione asked in a small voice.

'Yes, though I expect he will probably stop talking to me once I get sorted into Slytherin just like he did with you. He is being so stupid. He's a fool.'

'He is a child. I'm willing to forgive him.'

'But he will never apologize. You know how hot headed he is.'

'Yes. Yes, I know. His temper always lands him in trouble, doesn't it?' she said as she thought about how in a fit of rage he had practically sealed away his life to Azkaban.

'He will come around. He worships the ground you walk on. Trust me. I was the one who had to listen to him chatter about you all day long. Mother had such high hopes of strengthening the ties of the two families further by marrying him off to you.'

Hermione laughed so hard at that. She had to clutch her tummy as she nearly fell down the swing.

'Your poor mother marrying Sirius to.. me? NEVER!' A mudblood, she mentally added. The idea was hilarious.

-o-o-o-

Christmas at the Potter Manor was a joyful event even more so than it had been with the Lestranges.

Sirius was grateful to James. He couldn't even begin to express how glad he was to have found a brother in him.

Despite how much he missed Hermione and realised how rude he had been to her during the entire term, he couldn't help but feel that James had somehow made it better. He had even pestered him plenty of times to stop being an idiot and own up to his behaviour. James was the only one who saw that it wasn't Sirius' prejudice that held him back anymore. It was just that he didn't know how to apologise to someone. That was a skill nobody had taught him. He did not know how to gather the courage of walking up to her and asking for forgiveness.

He really was the biggest idiot in the world.

Sirius was out playing with James in the snow when Remus and Peter arrived. Remus, although very much a part of the Marauders still remained somewhat shy and nervous even after all this time.

The boys spent hours fighting with snowballs and making snowmen.

When they settled in a single room to tuck in for the night, Sirius truly felt bliss.

Sirius exclaimed, 'James, mate, your mother is the best cook in the world. I have never before had food that wasn't made by a house elf.'

Peter and Remus chuckled as James pushed out his chest swelling with pride.

'You reckon Evans will notice if I get a new haircut?' He mumbled while sucking on a sugar quill.

Remus laughed, 'She will notice the day you can actually manage to part with your lovely hair.'

'I would do it for her. I would do anything for Evans.'

Peter made a face, 'Mate, you're so lovesick. It's gross.'

Sirius barked out a laugh, 'You need the brains to woo a girl like her. The smart ones never relent.'

'Like with you and Lestrange?' James shot back.

The boys laughed at Sirius' discomfort.

Sirius turned them out and decided to go to sleep at last but was soon awoken by Peter who kept shaking him.

'There's a present for you.'

Sirius raised his brow, 'Who can it be?'

He moved to the window to find Talon looking up at him and demanding sweets. Unfurling the letter tied to his feet and grabbing the packages the owl held, he fed him some treats and watched him soar up in the snow filled sky.

He jumped into his bed as Remus asked, 'Who is it from?'

Sirius mumbled, 'Oh, just.. family.'

James climbed up beside Sirius and said, 'But your mum wouldn't write to you. And Regulus already sent his gifts to you.'

'It was the Lestrange family owl.'

The boys understood immediately and got in their own beds giving him privacy.

He opened the letter and read.

Dearest Sirius

Everyone at home is pleased to hear from you. We are glad you are happy spending time with the Potters. Hermione has told me all about the pranks you like to pull on your fellow students and it fills me with immense pride for none of my grandsons ever had the knack of such particular mischief which greatly disappointed this old man. I am so grateful that God answered my prayers in granting my skills at causing trouble to you for you are no less than my own blood.

Should you ever require a home to return to, know that the family shall always await you.

Rabastan and Hermione wish you the best of time.

Merry Christmas!

Your truest

Papa

He unwrapped the first package to find a glimmering gold chain with an intricate insignia of the Lestrange family crest on which were engraved the words "Family till the last hope and beyond."

Sirius felt the tears prickle the base of his eyes as he realised that although he would forever be shunned by the Blacks he had found two other families who had already accepted him as their own without him having to prove himself in any manner.

They would love him for as long as he would allow them.

He smiled sadly as he unwrapped the neatly made second box and found a knitted scarlet and gold scarf which seemed much more expertly made than the sweater he was currently wearing with the letter S sewed on it by the girl he always had on his mind.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling

Once back at Hogwarts, Hermione often caught Rab looking the perfect image of listlessness. It was then that Hermione came to realise how much he had truly cared for his brother.

In the previous timeline, when there had been no sister for Rab to look after he must have been even more devoted to Rolf. It would only make sense for him to do exactly he had been asked to.

She saw as the weeks passed and he seemed more weighed down each day than the last. She had even written to Papa for she was at her wit's end about how to bring him back to life. He wouldn't give her the slightest chance to pry.

Even his friends Melinda and that bastard Dolohov seemed to have noticed something was bothering the boy.

One day she decided she would simply have to corner him somehow.

She snuck up on him as he was returning from Quidditch practice and despite his many protests at being tired and hungry she pulled him into an empty classroom.

'I have had it. Spit it out. Quickly please because honestly you stink.' Hermione screamed.

Rab refused to answer.

'You can't just hide away from the world, Rab. He's my brother too.'

His eyes turned to look at her staring at him earnestly. 'He has been there for me since I was a child. Before you even came along, he was always there. Always taking care of me. And now he wants me to sign away my life to something I don't believe in.' He struggled to breathe, 'He wrote to me soon after we arrived here.'

Hermione gasped, 'And you didn't think I would want to know about that? Or Papa?'

'Papa does know.'

Hermione cried out in protest, 'You can't just keep things from me. I'm family too. I deserve to know if our brother asks you to give up your life in order to murder the helpless.'

'Mi, please.. don't get involved in this.'

'Rab, I've already lost one brother. I can't lose you too. Merlin, I'd be so lost without you. I have no one. Nobody to call my own in this world except for you and Papa.'

He would never understand the sincerity behind her sentiment but every word she said to him was nothing less than the ugly truth of her life for she had really been dumped into an entirely new world she knew nothing about.

'You don't have to worry. I'm leaving the country soon after I finish my NEWTS. I've applied for a place at Klurgfirst Institute of the Art of Curse Breaking in Wales. I expect to hear from them soon.'

Hermione smiled at him and clapped he r hands together. 'Oh, that is excellent. I could learn so much through you. Trust me, I am going to make full use of your knowledge, brother.'

Rab laughed at his sister's sudden change in mood which had surprisingly lightened up his mood as well.

Oh, the wonders of what family could do for your health.

-o-o-o-

Hermione had taken to spend her evenings in the Room of Requirement working in her leather case. The potion had been brewed perfectly and she had begun casting the various charms she had learned over the course of the first term spent at school.

She had to return to her dorms at night. Rab would often keep tabs on where she went which infuriated her to no end. She had never had to deal with an overprotective brother before and it was honestly getting so exhausting.

She would be finished soon. In around ten days after which she would begin her hunt for the diadem in the Room of Hidden Things. She wouldn't have any help from Harry this time around who could sense the presence of the horcruxes.

One day when Hermione had nothing else to do she found herself strolling through the various aisles of the Hogwarts searching for books on genealogies of various families. As a pureblood she had already learned most of the family trees of English pureblood Houses. She hadn't found a single trace of a boy named Harry.

Could it be he hadn't retained his name like Hermione had?

With that thought she had only just settled into her usual seat at the very far end where nobody ever came. But before she could even open the books she had picked she heard a terribly broken sound come from a boy hidden behind the shadows.

She walked on the tips of her toes and as she came upon the crying boy, her heart broke in a million little pieces.

To see a scared looking Remus Lupin sobbing behind aging library books did something to Hermione's person.

She could guess what had him sobbing like this. She was absolutely certain he was sad over his change since the full moon was the very next day. He must be going through his pre moon cycle.

She remembered the older Remus getting extremely cranky and overly emotional before the full moon.

So she quietly went to sit beside him.

He didn't notice her presence for the longest time but when his wolfish senses finally picked up on her smell, he jumped into the air.

He hurried to wipe way any tears that had stayed behind and gulped. He was at a loss of words and stood there just staring at her.. begging her to keep this to herself.

'Its okay. Crying is really the best form of catharsis and it looked like you needed it.' Hermione smiled at him, 'You shouldn't be wallowing in self pity, you know? It's not your fault what some raving werewolf did to you. You didn't ask for this.'

Remus was startled. In less than a minute his face went from an expression of sadness to that of terror and then to complete and utter heartbreak.

'Will you.. with you tell the others about me? I don't want to leave..' He said in a broken whisper.

'Don't be silly. I'm sure Dumbledore knows and his judgment is enough to quell any fears anybody might have but no, I shan't tell anyone. It's not my secret to tell.'

'How did you find out?'

Hermione shrugged, 'I knew a werewolf once before. He was a great man. Very brave, too. I know the scars you have are characteristic to those received from a lycanthrope.'

Remus looked down in shame.

'Remus, you shouldn't be embarrassed. Brace it before it kills you.'

'I am a monster.. Hermione.'

'For twelve nights a year. Which you spend locked up somewhere hurting yourself instead of giving in to your primal desires and hunting down anybody who crosses your path. You choose to remain human even when you lose your mind, Remus. If that's not saintly I don't know what is,' she chuckled. 'Besides you don't look all that terrifying to me so sue me but no, I will not quiver at the sight of you.'

Remus laughed lightly at that but sobered up as if realising his laughter was cursed and somehow.. wrong.

'I have to lie to them every month. They are the first friends I have made. Ever since with was bitten.. when I was four. And I have to lie to them.' He slid down the wall.

Hermione leaned against a shelf, 'I am sure they would accept you if you told them. They would never shun you like you expect them to. Have some faith in your friendship.'

Remus shook his head furiously. 'They cannot know. They must not know. Ever. They will only put themselves in danger by trying something reckless to help me. James would come up with something absolutely ridiculous and Sirius would support him. Peter might refuse but he could never stay behind. He likes a challenge, that one.

And their foolishness will cost them their life. They wouldn't be helping me. They would be helping a monster.. a creature who would have no other senses working other than his bloodlust.'

Hermione breathed out a sigh, 'It is your decision and I can't make it for you but I believe the sooner you reveal your secret to then the sooner you can finally be free. And happy.'

'They cannot know. Please.'

'You shouldn't have to suffer alone.'

-o-o-o-

She had not realised just how huge the Room of Hidden Things was. Not even while she had been running for her life as Fiendfyre had forced her out of the room a those years ago.

She had already spent the better part of the last two weeks looking for the diadem. She was beginning to get restless but was sure it was here and that she would find it. Giving up was not an option when the world depended on it.

She had spent her entire weekend looking for the lost relic and was tired to the bone.

She was on her way to the Great Hall when she turned around the corner of the seventh floor corridor and crashed with someone causing her to fall down flat on her arse.

She was helped up into a standing position once again by a very flustered Sirius Black.

'I am sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going.' Hermione said and made to leave before he could say something back.

But he grabbed onto her arm and turned her around. 'Hermione.. er.. could we talk?'

Hermione raised her brow, 'Are you pulling a prank on me?'

'What? NO! I just wanted to chat.'

'Why would the Gryffindor King want to talk to a slimy snake?' Hermione spat.

'Hermione, come on.. please.' Sirius begged.

'Why, is it okay for you to be seen talking to me now? Have you finally grown up? Or am I no longer evil?'

'Why must you make it more difficult than it already is?' He complained, pulling onto the strands of his hair.

'Because you have been a complete arse. I won't play your games, Sirius. You need to make up your mind. You can't just ignore me and then be concerned for me. You can't overlook my entire existence and our friendship for months on end and then ask me to chat?'

Sirius looked away in shame.

'Will you do the same to your brother when he arrives next year? Because he's terrified. He already has Walburga breathing down his neck all the time. He needs you.'

A silent "I need you" hung in the air.

'What did you want to say? I have places to be.' Hermione said, calm once again.

'Thank you.'

She frowned, 'What for?'

'For the scarf you sent me. You are still the same girl who thought about me as her own. Just.. thank you.'


	16. Chapter 16

 

Her eyes grew as large as saucers when they finally fell upon a faded silver tiara with an oval sapphire encrusted in the middle.

Hermione suddenly began hyperventilating. It was here. A part of Voldemort, the man who had stolen from her everything, was here. So close.

She didn't understand where the fear she was feeling stemmed from. She had never felt so vulnerable in his presence before. Why was she reacting so strongly to it then.

_You had never been this broken back then_ , a voice said inside her head.

She shut her eyes and her brows furrowed in concentration. She plucked out her beaded bag from inside her cloak and retrieved the leather case.

Making space on an old, dusty almirah to her right she placed the case on the top and opened it. Once again she checked the stability of the charms she had cast over it and finally sure of their durability she walked carefully towards the horcrux. She felt something pull her closer, something driving her towards the diadem. She knew whatever it was reeked of evil. She knew the horcrux was trying to draw her in but she had already spent months with one before. She could overcome it.

Wanting nothing more than to drop it, Hermione picked up the diadem and quickly shuffled on her feet almost throwing it into the case and immediately cast the lid of the case shut.

She released a breath she hadn't known she was holding.

It seemed oddly fitting that she had finally found it on the last day of the term. After March had gone by she hadn't been able to give her peoject as much time she would have liked to. The teachers had rushed the first years into submitting essays and homework. And then the exams had demanded her attention which hadn't been a difficult job for her but had required some amount of revision.

Therefore her nightly visits to the Room of Hidden Things had gradually become shorter.

Hermione ginergly shrunk the leather case and placed it very carefully into her bag. Holding her bag tightly Hermione took one last look at the Room and left for the Great Hall.

She was one of the last ones to enter before the End of Term feast began. She sat beside Severus and the awful Parkinson spawn who was loudly discussing her elder sister's wedding plans with her group of friends. Hermione had successfully managed to keep her dormmates at an arm's length and she wasn't going to give in on the last day of the year when Parkinson kept turning to her asking her if she would attend.

The Lestrange family would no doubt receive an invite. But Hermione would make sure to call in sick a day before the event.

She turned her attention towards Severus who sat smirking at her annoyance.

'One would expect pureblooded girls to retain their dignity at all times possible and not give in to such silly talks.'

Hermione laughed, 'You can't even begin to imagine. I have to put up with worse on a daily basis.'

'What are your plans for the holidays?' Severus asked her.

'Oh, I haven't really thought about it.' She distractedly as she filled her plate with some desert. 'Tell me about yourself.'

Severus proceeded to grace her with one of his rare smiles, 'I got accepted into a potions programme. I won't be allowed to use magic per se but I can attempt my hand at the potions that don't require extensive wandwork.'

Hermione was confused. 'What programme?' She hadn't come across anything similar in her time.

'Oh it's just something organised every year by a committee on the art of potion making. They accept wizards and witches of all age. I'm hoping to learn some advanced potions while there. Hogwarts is woefully behind in its curriculum.'

Hermione hummed a response. She might have joined if not for her already overly cluttered mind and the ever present worry about the war constantly banging its head inside her skull.

Many Slytherins around her were grumbling about Gryffindor taking away the Cup this year again. She smiled to herself. Some things never changed.

She looked over at the Gryffindor table as a very excited James gushed into the ear of his friend, Sirius. The two boys could be seen nodding their heads furiously at each other, no doubt planning another one of their miscreant ways. Remus was silently shaking his head at them as Peter drew out some complicated figures on a piece of parchment noting down every idea they came up with.

The ease in their demeanor and the happiness on their faces often put her in a nostalgic mood. She could remember vividly the excitement she had shared with her fellow Gryffindors every year. She even missed the parties that were hosted in the Common Room for every kind of celebration, big or small. She smiled ruefully and turned back around.

*

Hermione clutched Severus' hand and said firmly, 'You will write to me every week. Fail and you shall face my wrath.'

Severus chuckled and shaking his head left running towards Lily.

Hermione took in her surroundings once again. The steaming red engine of the Hogwarts Express as majestic as ever. The children hugging their friends close to their chests making plans to meet up.

She felt tiny hand pat her shoulders as she looked up to see a smiling Peter holding out a book wrapped in brown paper to her.

'What is this?' she inquired of him.

'Just a little something I found. My mother sent it to me a couple of months ago but you know me. Books aren't exactly my favourite things in the world. So I figured I'd pass it onto you.'

'Thank you, Peter.' She hugged him as he blushed a scarlet shade.

'I know it wasn't bought for the purpose of gifting someone but I thought you'd like it.'

She tore through the paper to find a glistening cover.

'Peter! She gasped.

_Hogwarts: A History._

'This is my favourite book. I lost my copy sometime ago and.. thank you!' She had tears in her eyes. She truly had lost her copy. For some odd reason, it was no longer in her beaded bag. She hadn't thought something as simple could bring her so much peace.

Peter shrugfed awkwardly and said his goodbyes to her.

Clutching the book close to herself, she let her eyes wander over the many small groups that lined the platform looking for Rab or her Papa. When her eyes fell on them, she began her slow walk towards them and found them talking to each other in hushed tones.

'It isn't safe anymore. I can't risk it.' Papa was saying to Rab rather vehemently.

Rab replied, 'It will be okay, Papa. I will come of age this month and I will then be able to look after her better.'

Hermione chose to reveal her presence then. 'What is it now?'

'Nothing you need to worry about.' Papa hugged her tiny form lightly. 'Let us go home. I have missed you terribly. The house is always so quiet these days.'

Hermione smiled gently and followed her family away from the platform.

Before they left through the barrier, however, her eyes sought out the face of a terrified looking Sirius standing in front of the intimidating form of Orion Black.

Hermione felt her heart break for him. He was bound to spend a summer filled with torturous punishments that Walburga was bound to subject him to.

Sirius turned his face away from his father and as their eyes met the two somehow conveyed every emotion they had with only a look.

Hermione smiled timidly at him, urging him to have courage in the face of the tragedy that his life was.

Sirius merely raised his brows asking her silently how he could ever do that when his very own mother had decided to strip him of any ounce of bravery he might have had that had led him astray to the house of lions.


	17. Chapter 17

 

Hermione had once again sought solace under her willow. Despite it being a summer morning in the middle of July the forest surrounding the Lestrange manor was as cool as ever.

Tuning out everything else, Hermione chose to focus on the sounds of her breathing. In and out. In and out. In and out.

She would start her second year next month. She would hope for Harry to be among the first years with Reggie. She would hope to be reunited with her other half.

The soft wind ruffled her hair as she created circles with her fingers in the grass. How peaceful it felt here, away from the world. Away from the darkness.

If only she could stay here forever as the morning sun warmed her back and the billowing grass nuzzled into her face with dewdrops still tangled within. Her heart slowed down as she breathed in the scent of wildflowers.

She wished she could have shared this serenity inside her with Sirius. Merlin knew he would need every bit of peace this summer and the coming ones. He would need it for as long as he stayed with his mother.

She was broken out of the dullness that had suddenly seeped in by an idea so ridiculously innocent she had to remind herself she was well into her twenties. She giggled unceremoniously and got up on her feet. Brushing off the wetness on her white cotton dress Hermione wandered deeper into the trees and collected every flower she came upon. Flowers of all kind with petals of the most vibrant shades. Summer really was beautiful.

Despite having always had a fondness for the snow and the chilled rains of winter, there was just something about how nature came alive in the heat of the summer and had momentarily brightened the fogginess inside Hermione's heart.

She tucked in the violet midsummer orchid flowers in the seams of the hat she had been wearing. Some virgin white lilies here and there and some honeysuckle in the middle. The bluebell and the foxglove rose above all the rest.

Hermione laughed at her own childish whims and humming she walked inside with her, the flowers in her hat swaying in the wind.

As she entered the manor and made her way to the dining hall there was a skip in her step that hadn't been there since the war had broken out back at the end of her sixth year.

Papa glanced at her from where he sat and quietly cast a charm on the flowers to make them stay fresh and alive for as long as Hermione wanted.

He commented, 'A little something for you to keep with you for as long as you live.'

'I will keep _you_ with me for as long as I live,' she said to him cheekily.

Papa boomed with laughter so carefree Hermione had to pat his back.

Rab joined in the delighted atmosphere. 'You look angelic.'

Hermione positively glowed, 'Thank you, Rab.'

Conversation flowed as the Lestrange family dug in.

'The Oakswood heir is gaining name for his family in Britain.'

Rab queried, 'I thought the Oakswoods preferred to restrict their royalty to the North. What brings them here?'

'Stephen Oakswood and his father had been quite secretive, yes. But it seems as if his son has other ideas. He has already spread their business in the country. I have personally entered into some business deliberations with the boy myself. He is a remarkable young wizard. Since his father's death last year the boy has done wonders for the family. Stephen would be proud.'

Rab nodded in approval. 'It would be wise to partner with him. He seems he would make a valuable addition to the Corporation.'

Hermione ignored the rest of the conversation as she had no interest whatsoever in how the family business was run.

Soon after she had finished with breakfast she left for the library as the two men continued their discussion in the parlour.

She called, 'Blinky!'

Blinky appeared instantly and bowed her head. 'Missy Hermy! How can Blinky help her Missy?'

'Can you please bring me a cup of tea?'

Blinky clapped her hands and disapparated.

Hermione wandered through the aisles looking for something that would catch her eye. When a silverish hue blinded her Hermione stood on her tiptoes to gather the books that were glinting in the sunlight coming from the large overhead window.

Hermione lost her balance and fell down into a heap, her back pushing in on the wall behind and clattering onto the lantern holder studded into it.

With a heavy resounding sound Hermione's eyes grew wide as she witnessed the wall that had been behind her vanish into thin air. In its place appeared a doorway. She pushed it inside and stepped into a dusty old room except it wasn't one. It was a long lobby lines by two shelves on either side.

The lobby seemed to go on forever.

Hermione looked behind her to see that the door had sealed itself shut. She started on her way inside and read the titles that were housed in the shelf.

She didn't have to go through the labels to feel the extremely evil magic that hung in the air. It practically screamed dark magic.

Hermione stared at the books around her in awe. However dark they may be this was a fountain of knowledge that she could not ignore. Moreover who knew what tiny little spell she learnt here could help save her life.

Books on ancient magic onto her right spoke of Merlin's inventions. There were also some handwritten journals. She was itching to dig in but she would make an inventory in her mind first. Books on folklore and monsters forever lost in time also adorned the shelves.

Books on fairies and how to summon them. Books on the fae and their magic. Books on bedlam and lores of merpeople. Books on the subtle art of divination. (Hermione scoffed.) Books on destroying vampires. Books on bending the minds werewolves to do your bidding.

Hermione frowned. The last two titles would prove useful. Tom would soon begin to bring over the creatures shunned by the Ministry over to his side. And it wouldn't hurt to take away from Greyback his free will.

She quickly pulled out the two books. She wondered where she could sit for the lobby, as far as she could see, had no end. And the walls were lined with the shelves with no breaks in between.

There was a sudden pop and Blinky appeared carrying a pot of tea. Seeing where she was Blinky began shaking her head violently.

'Missy Hermy. She mustn't be here. It's a dark dark place. Very dark.'

Hermione asked, 'Am I not allowed in here?'

'Nit everyone is. The room senses the magic inside you. But Missy must inform Master Lestrange. Master will know soon enough.'

Hermione placated the elf, 'I will be okay, Blinky. But you shan't tell anyone about me being here. Please? I will reveal my presence here to Papa myself.'

Blinky looked at her with bafflement on her face. She reluctantly nodded.

'Can you conjure a couch for me, Blinky? And a desk perhaps. For the tea?'

Blinky obliged and left her alone in the hidden library.

Hermione settled in for the day and began reading, pouring over the text that provided an in depth knowledge of the various incantations she could use to control a werewolf and the wandwork required. She practiced as she read and had learned five different ways of doing so in the short duration of seven hours.

She then moved onto how to kill vampires and best their quick reflexes that often rendered wizards and witches quite inadept when faced with one.

Halfway through the book Hermione got up. She carried the books back to their shelves and made a mental note of their position.

This was how the holidays passed.

It would take her quite a bit of time to find the books she needed for the library kept changing their location. It even went as far as changing its structural designs and architecture. To have been in the presence of such strong magic made Hermione giddy with joy.

She often spent her days in the hidden lobby researching various dark spells. She had already been through three huge books on horcruxes. Each detailed the gory process of how they were made but as for how to destroy them, Hermione's knowledge about it was still limited to the use of Fiendfyre or basilisk venom.

She had strengthened her ability in casting protective wards even going as far as learning some blood wards. They would be useful when the war started. She had learned how to repel intruders and detect the presence of liars.

Perfecting the Fidelius Charm had been quite the difficult task. So far she had only managed the incantation. The translation of the runes itself has taken her five full days. The wandwork was even more complex. She had mastered the history of goblins and the history of house elf magic.

She had even begun learning how a wizard can fly without the use of a broomstick. Much like wandless magic a very strong wizard could surpass the usage of a broomstick which served merely as a medium for the concentrating one's flying ability as a wand is the medium for casting spells. Flying is inherent to a wizard's blood as is magic.

This would be a neat trick. She remembered only Voldemort and Snape had managed to equip themselves of this art back in her time.

Despite her fear of flying she was willing to try this particular spell. It would make escaping so much easier in case she ever landed someplace with anti apparition wards.

She had already covered the basics but it would take another two years to actually implement the long process to perfect it. She would need to meditate daily and cast severam spells and prepare various potions to douse her body with.

She had made detailed notes and had charmed them against intruders.

The morning of September first Papa asked her to stay behind for a while after wishing luck to Rab. Hermione knew why.

Rab looked confused but silently obliged and carried both his and Hermione's trunk inside the train after shrinking them. She envied the fact that he had come of age and could now freely use magic.

Papa took her aside where nobody could see or hear them and looked deep into her eyes. He cast several spells to ward off anybody trying to eavesdrop.

'Child, I know how you have spent the summer reading. I wouldn't need the house elves to tell me. The manor is built on strong magic, 'Mi.' He answered her silent question.

Hermione had the grace of looking guilty. 'I was going to come to you. But I got so carried away.'

'Don't you worry. I don't blame you. Your thirst for knowledge is quite reminiscent of your mother. Besides, I need no proof telling me you would never use what you have learnt to cause harm.'

He chortled, 'Moreover, seeing as you are an exceptionally headstrong witch I couldn't possibly ever stop you from doing what you had set your mind to.'

'Papa, I will never break your trust. That place is a goldmine. I just couldn't ignore it.'

He nodded gravely. 'Make sure nobody learns of its presence. It's an old family secret and you haven't yet come across the most relevant texts yet. Some of them are originals penned by Merlin himself and even Salazar Slytherin. Our ancestors were highly skilled in magic. They have left us many a secrets. The library appears only to the most worthy of the Lestrange men and women. You invoked very strong blood magic the day you stumbled in there. This is great responsibility, Hermione.'

'So that's how you got to know.' She surmised. 'Does Rolf know? Or Rab?'

'No. Not even your father did. And before me, only my great-great grandfather had known its whereabouts.'

'I shan't tell anyone about it, Papa. But what happens when the manor passes onto Rolf. Merlin forbid if it happened while the Dark Lord still reins.. he would be privy to such dark magic. He would become unstoppable.'

'The Lord of the House doesn't become suddenly privy to the room's existence. Even when Rolf takes over the manor only you shall be able to enter the room. It relieves me so to know that such knowledge will never be misused by that corrupted boy.'

Hermione smiled in sympathy and kissed the top of his hand. She knew he had been hurting at the loss of his eldest grandson.

'I must leave now, Papa. I shall see you come Christmas.'

Papa waved at her as she went.

She saw that Rab had deposited her trunk in the compartment she usually shared with Severus. He was currently sitting inside telling Lily all about the programme he had been a part of over the summer. But Hermione didn't care to participate.

She set out determinedly on her hunt. She peeped into each compartment searching for messy black hair. She did spot some where the Marauders were seated laughing wildly at something Remus had just said.

She was glad to see that Sirius' spirits hadn't been dampened by whatever he had suffered through at his mother's hands.

She had even stumbled across Reggie with some other first years looking as calm as ever. But Hermione knew that he was incredibly anxious. The day would probably end with him losing his brother's trust.

She walked farther ahead and almost reached the end. Looking into the last compartment and finding a flustered looking Frank Longbottom going over his herbology homework, Hermione slumped against the wall. A lone tear escaped her eyes.

_He's not here._


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.

 

 

It didn't come as a shock when Regulus Black was sorted into the rightful house of the snakes. What did shock Hermione was that Sirius had accepted it almost immediately. In fact he had come over to the Slytherin table after the feast had gotten over to wish his brother luck for his first year at Hogwarts.

She idly wondered when this faith in his brother would be broken for Sirius. Perhaps when Regulus joined the Death Eaters. She would never know now, would she? Her mission would ensure that Reggie never had to join Tom therefore sealing the two brothers' relationship as it already had been.

The first few months back at school had passed in relative peace. It was a far cry from her own second year when the Chamber of Secrets had opened. Attending a regular school really was a pleasant change.

Hermione had been putting final touches to her DADA essay which she had memorised from her first time around when she heard the furious whispering of three very agitated boys behind the aisle she was hidden at.

'These books are useless.' Peter mumbled. 'I wonder why Remus spends so much time in here anyway.'

James agreed, 'You're right mate. But how do we become Animagi now? We can't just walk up to Minnie and ask her, can we?'

Sirius said, 'We could get the Cloak tonight and look into the Restricted Section. There's got to be something in there.'

James said, 'But sneaking out without Remus would put him on edge.'

'Yeah especially now that he's going to be worrying everyday that we're going to leave him.'

Peter chimed in, 'Maybe we should write back home? I know we're not allowed to do this but surely nobody home would think we would actually require the book for becoming an Animagus. They would probably just think we are a bunch of overly curious blokes.'

Sirius laughed, 'That is out of the question, Pete. We can't risk anybody knowing about Remus' furry little problem.'

Hermione smiled to herself vowing she would have to help out. Who knew how long it would take them just to find suitable instructions. She remembered putting in a very useful book on Transfiguration in her beaded bag. She quietly plucked it out making sure there was nobody around.

Putting her bag back inside her cloak she looked at the book. Ron had been the one to suggest they take it along on their hunt. He had guessed Hermione would be bored one day eventually and would probably create a fuss over the boys so it would have better to stock enough books to keep her busy.

She rid herself of such gloomy thoughts and went over to the boys who quickly shut up as she approached them.

Hermione looked at them with an all too knowing glance which made the boys gulp.

They couldn't have messed it up so soon already.

Sirius cleared his throat, 'Yes? How may we help you?'

Hermione laughed, 'Shut it, Sirius. Everyone here knows you're no gentleman.'

He looked annoyed, 'I can be one when I want to. Besides its not like you'd warrant such gentlemanly behaviour in the first place.'

Hermione glared at him and chose to ignore his childish idiocy.

'Now that you boys have finally figured out about Remus' monthly visits and plan on to help the boy out, I figured I'd do a little bit on my part too '

The boys looked flabbergasted and terrified.

Peter cried out, 'You knew?! Since when?'

'I found out last year. He was particularly distraught over lying his friends.'

James complained, 'Why didn't you tell us? We could have been there for him all this time.'

'It wasn't my place to say.'

James nodded reluctantly. 'Well, how can you help us then?'

'I couldn't help but overhear your plans of becoming Animagi. It's a noble thing to do for your friend. Who came up with it?'

Sirius pointed at James, 'He was quick to connect the dots when he found out. But we can't find anything here that can help us.'

Hermione nodded and dropped the book in front of the boys. 'This should. It's a trusted source. You'll find the section on Animagus on page 587.'

Sirius looked apprehensive, 'Where did you find this?'

'It is my own copy and I'd be happy to lend it to you.'

Peter opened the book and read, 'Property of Hermione Gr..'

Hermione quickly vanished the text on the first page and glared at boys, 'None of your business.'

Sirius raised his brow but chose to keep quiet.

Peter moved to the mentioned page number and found a detailed explanation of properties of an Animagus, the process of becoming one, ingredients for the necessary potions and ways of reflecting in on yourself to find out what form you would assume.

James was overcome with emotions. He shuffled on his feet and hugged Hermione.

She was suddenly reminded of how Harry's hugs had always been the same. Warm and tight and full of raw emotion. She would go as far as saying they even felt the same. She put her arms around him with a little unsurity but pretended it was Harry and took solace in James' embrace sighing loudly to the mystification of the other two boys who watched them with wide eyes.

Sirius almost felt jealous. How long had it been that he had hugged his Hermione without any qualms?

'Thank you, Hermione. You may not be that bad after all.' James teased.

Hermione ignored his slur against her house and left the boys where they were. Her heart was in an overdrive.

Harry had felt so close.

**-o-o-o-**

Christmas holidays had come and gone. Hermione had once again devoted her time in the hidden library at the Lestrange Estate. Papa would sometimes join her. He chuckled at Hermione's choice to learn the art of flying without the use of a broom. He kept his reservations to himself. It wasn't as if a twelve year old could ever master the art.

If only he knew.

There had been no word from Rolf. The family seemed to be on edge, wondering what he was up to.

As Hermione rejoined school she saw less and less of her brother Rab who was always studying in the library for his NEWTS. This filled her with immense pride.

She would sometimes join him with her own homework. Sometimes she even made an effort to sit with Severus and Lily as they worked on their papers. And sometimes she would sit with Remus and enjoy his silent but steady company. He never questioned her odd choice of books and merely looked on with curiosity.

But Hermione still had no friends. Sje was once again a social pariah.

When in her common room she could only ever talk to Severus. But he would more often than not stay outside with Lily.

Tolerating her dormmates was too much of an effort and the boys in her year were far too pompous for their own good.

Reggie often talked to her for some time every day but he had also found his own little group of friends and Hermione couldn't hold it against him.

She simply brushed off her loneliness and focused all her energy into training herself. She was good, no doubt. She was very good in fact. She had fought in a war, after all.

But she would need to be better.

Last time around she had help from the bravest people but this time she would fight alone for as long as Harry stayed hidden from her.

She was hopeful still that he would find her or she would one day find him. She knew they would be reunited. But as much as she wanted to hold onto her hopes she couldn't help but feel a little out of place every time she looked around her.

Seeing James had started to become quite uncomfortable ever since they had hugged. Hermione realised it had been far too easy to pretend with him. Now her heart would keep begging her to seek him out and pretend just for a little while longer.

She had begun being reclusive much like she had when she had arrived in this time. She would often walk up to the Room of Requirement but never dared enter. When her task had been to hunt for the horcrux it had been easy to dispel any thoughts of wishing to see her home but now as she had no purpose for the coming year she couldn't force those thoughts out of her head. And she knew in her heart of hearts she wasn't ready to face the onslaught of the memories that would come along with the sight of her home, The Burrow.

Therefore she had found a new reprieve for herself. She had begun spending her evenings at the Astronomy Tower looking out over the Forbidden Forest which looked just the same as it had in her time till before the war.

The world could be a lonely place when nobody knew you.

**-o-o-o-**

Regulus had been trying to corner his brother for the last three weeks but he was always in the company of those bloody Marauders.

Honestly, they had went as far as naming themselves. How ridiculous.

When he was finally able to drag Sirius away to the school grounds Sirius grumbled, 'Reggie! You could have asked nicely and I'd have come.'

Reggie sneered, 'That hasn't worked for Hermione.'

Sirius had the decency to look guilty.

'She is lonely, you know? She doesn't really talk to anyone. Rab is busy too these days. Severus seems to be going in and out of the picture.'

Sirius shrugged, 'Well it's not like I'm her personal keeper or something.'

'No you're not. You're her friend. Or at least you used to be.'

'I don't know what to do, okay? I messed up. I want to apologize but I don't know how. And I know it is the stupidest thing in the world but I really like her. And what if she doesn't take me back? I've had enough people abandon me.'

Reggie knew how difficult it had been for Sirius to fess up. 'You really think so? You've been pulling pranks on her for the last two years and has she ever been hostile to you in return? She's never been anything but kind. Get your act together, brother. You're proving Mother right. She would want you to be a heartless git.'

Sirius looked away as if burned.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.

Hermione was reviewing her notes on a potion with Severus.

Despite it being an especially chilly day the two had chosen to stay outdoors. The common room was bustling with activity for a change that day since they had won the Quidditch match against Ravenclaw last evening.

Only a handful of students could be seen out on the grounds and yet the two were relatively far away from the rest of the student body. They were seated on the very edge of the Black Lake.

They preferred silence above all else. That was probably the reason why they worked so well together.

Severus complained, 'No, no you're doing it wrong. If you add the lacewing flies before belladonna you will put the poor bloke into a coma.'

Hermione thrust the parchment to him, 'You do it then. You keep interrupting me.'

'Because you keep making mistakes!'

'I am following what the textbook says!'

Severus put a hand in his hair, 'Hermione, you know by now my hunch is always right.'

'But if we use your hunch, as you so eloquently put it, for papers which will be graded we will only lose marks.'

'No, I refuse. You're wrong.'

'Am not. You haven't even tried this potion before. You can't possibly know.'

'As much as we enjoy the two of going at it, your lover's quarrel is really quite off-putting.' James drawled, leaning against a tree trunk and twirling his wand in his hand.

Peter snickered, 'Hey, Hermione! How are you?'

She eyed the Marauders suspiciously. Sirius looked miffed and Remus was overly nervous. She guessed James was going to try and bully Severus.

She sighed. She really didn't want to be caught in the middle.

Hermione nodded curtly, 'Quite well, thank you. What do you boys want?'

Sirius sneered at Severus, 'We hate seeing Snivellus corrupt your young mind, love.'

Hermione stood up glaring at him, 'And how is it any of your concern, Black?' She put as much heat as she could in his name. 'I have had enough of your games. Please leave us be.'

Severus quietly stood beside her.

James shook his head, 'And miss a chance to show this slimy snake where he belongs? Absolutely not.'

And to think Hermione had been getting along with James lately. He was still not over his phase of being an arrogant, spoiled brat.

Remus mumbled, 'Guys, let's just leave.'

Sirius scoffed, 'You want us to back off, Remus? You know us better.'

Peter sensed the tension in the air. He whispered in his ear, 'Sirius, you won't be doing yourself a favour if you shit him right now. He's her friend.'

Sirius nodded reluctantly and started to pull James away but he saw Snape raising his wand behind James' back and taking an aim. He quickly disarmed him and sent a spell at him. But before the light from his wand had even shot out Hermione had made use of her reflexes harboured from the war and pushed Severus aside thus bearing the brunt of the aftershock of the spell which sent her teetering into the lake.

'HERMIONE, NO!' She heard Harry scream. No. No. James. It was James.

Blackness clouded her vision. The cold seeped into her bones as she sunk deeper into the blackest waters she had ever seen. She couldn't see anythig around her except for the vastness of the lake. She couldn't hear anything except the blood rush into her ears. She couldn't move her limbs.

She was lost. She was lost in time and now she was going to die.

Her lungs verged on the edge of exploding. Her mind couldn't hold onto consciousness for long now. Any minute and she would lose all her senses.

The sound of silence stunned her. It was everywhere. A silence so deep and profound that she could find no end to it.

Her head was pounding, every cell inside her screaming for a breath of fresh life. But the arms of the water spread around her and took her for its own. She felt herself drift into the soft crevices of sleep.

It would feel nice. Peaceful. She could give into oblivion. She would be with her parents again. Ron. Ginny. The other Weasleys.

But what of Harry?

She couldn't die. She couldn't fail or the world would burn and sizzle out.

She forced her eyes open trying to move but her arms flayed around in vain. She had no control over her body.

Her lungs burned and she almost felt them give in when suddenly a pair of arms grabbed her.

Firm hands pulling her up. They broke surface and she gulped in huge amounts of the fresh cold air.

She heaved as someone carried her onto the shore. Her vision was still obscure but she could feel someone moving their hands all over her body trying to contain the shivers that kept breaking out.

The cold threatened to envelope her. She felt her blood freeze and her heart almost give out before darkness surrounded her.

**-o-o-o-**

There was a pounding in her head as Hermione struggled to open her eyes.

Her vision focused on a black haired, bespectacled boy.

She mumbled, 'Harry?'

James' face, so far etched into worry broke out into a huge grin as he called out, 'Rabastan. She's awake!'

Rab who had been talking quietly with Madame Pomfrey rushed to his sister's side, the matron hot on his heels.

Rab clutched his sister's hand in his and sighed in relief.

'Merlin, Hermione! I was so frightened . We were just about to call Papa in. You've been unconscious for the entire day.'

The matron shoved James and Peter off. The two went to stand beside a very guilty looking Remus and a concerned Lily. Severus was also standing awkwardly on the side.

She wondered where Sirius was.

She would have liked to see him here.

Did he not care..?

When Madame Pomfrey was done checking for her vitals she instructed everyone around her, 'Alright. Fifteen minutes, you lot and then you will leave and let the poor girl rest. It isn't long to curfew now.'

'What happened?' Hermione croaked out.

James stepped forward as Rab glared the living hell out of the boy.

'Well,' he mumbled, 'we were just leaving when Sirius caught sight of Sni.. Snape aiming his wand at me. So Sirius cast a jinx and when you pushed Snape out of the way you were.. hit instead. You fell into the lake. Peter ran for inside looking for a professor. By the time McGonagall came out Sirius had already plunged into the water and pulled you out. But you fell unconscious as soon as you guys made it out so Professor levitated you inside.'

Hermione nodded, 'Is he okay?'

The Marauders were shocked.

Remus said, 'You are worried about Sirius after all that happened? You aren't mad at us? Or him?'

Hermione shook her head. 'Severus is the one who's entitled to be angry. But seeing as he wasn't entirely innocent in this I don't see why you lot can't come to a common agreement.'

Severus shied away from her gaze in guilt.

They heard the doors to the Hospital Wing open and saw as Dumbledore entered with McGonagall and Slughorn trailing behind him.

He looked graver than he usually did and the twinkle in his eyes was amiss.

He stood at the foot of her bed and asked her calmly, 'Miss Lestrange, how are you feeling?'

'I am quite well, sir, thank you.' Hermione responded.

Madame Pomfrey came bustling out of her office to give a report to the Headmaster.

'May I inquire as to how you came to fall into the lake, Miss Lestrange?'

'Please sir, call me Hermione.'

Dumbledore smiled kindly. 'Very well, Hermione, please tell us what happened this morning.'

'I.. I was studying with Severus by the lake. And I fell into the lake.'

Dumbledore raised his brow. 'And what were the other four boys doing there, Hermione?'

'I and Severus had been arguing and that probably disturbed the boys. So they came asking us.. to keep it quiet. They were only leaving when I got up in anger and lost my footing. So I suppose that I fell in.'

She knew none of the teachers believed her. Everyone was aware of the open hostility between the Marauders and the Slytherins, especially Snape.

Dumbledore nodded. 'If you say so.'

'Sirius saved my life, sir.'

Dumbledore looked at Rab and said, 'I shall notify your grandfather of what has happened today. Look after your sister, Mr Lestrange.'

The teachers left soon after. The Marauders looked ashamed.

Remus whispered, 'You didn't have to do that..'

Rab looked at him sharply. His eyes blazed with fury. 'You should be glad she saved your neck. If it had been in my hands I would have had the lot of you removed from the school grounds immediately.'

He looked very much the Pureblood lord he truly was and not the sweet innocent little boy Hermione had come to know.

Hermione sat up, struggling a little. Lily helped her up. 'Rab, please. It wasn't their fault.'

Rab calmed himself, 'It is your decision, 'Mi and I shall respect it.'

He looked at the four boys and said softly, 'Please leave. She should rest as much as she can. You can visit her come morning.'

Peter called out, 'We will be back in the morning with sweets. Take care, Hermione!'

James turned towards Lily and asked softly, 'You coming Evans?'

Lily shook her head, 'I'll be a minute longer.'

'We will wait for you outside. It's dark. You shouldn't have to walk alone.'

Lily seemed conflicted whether to be mad at him or be touched by his chivalry.

The boys nodded at the siblings and left promptly. Hermione noticed the Marauders stopped at a bed two places away from her before exiting the Wing.

Lily stayed behind and took Hermione's free hand in hers. She said softly, 'I really do hope you get well soon. You can trust me to have a word with those boys. You were so brave today, Hermione.' She dropped a kiss on her forehead and left.

Hermione felt tears pool into her eyes at the concern Lily had showed her. She wondered what life would have been like if the Potters had survived.

Maybe Hermione would visit every summer and Lily would be as much a mother to her as she would be to Harry.

Rab wiped away the stray tears on her face.

'Hermione, I am so glad you are safe.'

She nodded, 'I am sorry, Rab. But.. nobody told me. Is that Sirius.. over there in that bed?'

Rab nodded, 'Yes. He did save your life. He's down with a slight cold.' He laughed lightly, 'Of course, you had to go and choose such a day as it is today to drown.'

'Rab, please don't be mad at him when he gets up.'

He looked at her with a strange emotion blazing in his eyes. 'I won't. Get some sleep, 'Mi.'

He kissed her hand and smiled at her one last time before leaving.

**-o-o-o-**

It was well past midnight and Hermione still couldn't find it in herself to go to sleep.

She hadn't been this out of control since a very long time. The panic that had seized her in the lake had left her reeling.

She sighed and sat up. She stared at the ceiling. She heard the curtains around Sirius' bed ruffle and saw as he slipped out of his cot and silently made his way towards her.

He came to stand in front of her but kept his eyes downcast. She could see he was shivering in the cold.

Hermione made place for him and signalled him to sit. Still avoiding her eye, Sirius settled in beside her and snuggled into the blankets.

He took all of three minutes before bursting out, 'I am so sorry, Hermione! What I did today was unforgivable. I almost lost you. I almost killed you. You were the first person to show me kindness. To look past my name. You accepted me despite my shortgivings. You threw away all traces of prejudice and I only treated you like shite. When you ignored my name and saw me for the person I am, I only saw the label that was put on your person when you were sorted into Slytherin. I acted like a git. And what I did today.. it was so wrong, Hermione. And I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but if you can find it in you to look past my faults once again, I swear to you, Hermione, I will spend the rest of my life living up to your expectations of me. I give you my word. I will never, ever treat you the way I have over the course of the last two years. Please just.. forgive me..'

Hermione had never expected him to apologise. When she had known the older Sirius, she had seen a man who had kept his feelings to himself. Who had become a recluse. Who had gathered in on himself and shut away the world. She looked into his grey eyes and saw something akin to what had lay in the eyes of the older Sirius. She could see he was repentant. She could see it in his eyes that were shining with unshed tears.

Hermione said nothing. She merely just took him in her arms and let him cry silently into her shoulders.

'I hate this.' He muttered, a few minutes later. 'Look at me. Crying like a bird.'

He was suddenly mortified and pulled away from her embrace. 'No one can know.'

Hermione laughed out at his sudden change of mood.

The two spent the remainder of the night indulging in meaningless chatter, each revelling in the presence of a lost friend found once again.

Sirius had been telling her an exceptionally funny story of how the boys had hidden all of James' clothes one day and how he had been forced to walk out shirtless into the common room.

'It was worth looking at Lily with her face as red as her hair.' He barked out a laugh. 'I bet she likes him back, you know? But James is too stupid to see that if only he grew up a little he might just have a chance.'

'Ciming from you, Sirius, that is crap. You shouldn't be talking about suddenly turning into a mature chap. It doesn't become of you.' She scoffed.

At the first light of the day Reggie had come sweeping into the Hospital Wing and had briefly hugged his brother and held Hermione's hands.

'Nobody told me until this morning. I came as soon as I could. Are the two of you alright?'

Hermione nodded and Sirius laughed at his brother's concern for him although secretly touched.

Reggie smiled as he saw the two people he felt the closest to in the world sitting intertwined with each other. It was so glaringly obvious and yet they failed to notice the depth of affections they held for the other.

He shook his head fondly and left them to fall back in rythm with each other.

**-o-o-o-**

When Hermione finally joined classes once again, she was glad to see that Sirius no longer avoided her in the corridors anymore. In fact he would actively seek her out.

He would also make an effort to sit with her in the library at times despite his utter horror at such a task.

Hermione had also started helping out the boys with their Animagus training. Unknown to them, she herself had begun to prepare for turning into one. She wouldn't be joining them when they eventually got ready to be with Moony. It would always be their thing and she would never intrude upon the sanctity of their bond.

But she would be keeping an eye out for them.

Besides she had never been one to shy away from learning something new.

**-o-o-o-**

When Hermione had left Severus to spend the remaineder of the ride back home with the Maruaders after the year had come to an end, she had finally felt like she belonged.

She belonged with this group of four boys who had been ripped apart in another life. She belonged to these boys she had come to gradually love.

As she sat watching the four boys bicker in fun she couldn't help but smile.

James was adamant, 'No, you will see. This is the year. I can feel it. When we come back this September you'll see Evans finally falling for me.'

Remus laughed, 'Sure, mate. As soon as the stars fall out.'

James scowled at his friend. 'One day we will be married and have a son. And you, Remus, shall _not_ be the godfather.'

Sirius puffed out his chest, 'Because the honour will obviously go to me.'

Peter cried, 'Oh and what about me?'

Hermione covered his hand in hers and laughed softly, 'Don't worry, Pete, you can be the godfather to my kids.'

Sirius waggled his eyebrows at her, 'Already planning kids, are we? Have a bloke in sight, do you?'

The other boys shared a look. He might not ever admit it but they weren't blind to the obvious jealousy in their mate's eyes as he playfully questioned the girl he so adored.

Hermione scoffed, 'It doesn't concern you. Back off.'

Sirius looked indignant. 'It has everything to do with me. If you don't tell me I'll tell Rab you like someone. You and I both know how he won't stop before he finds out.'

Hermione crossed her arms and glared at him.

When Rab came strolling towards her, looking greatly unburdened after having finished with his NEWTs, Hermione bid her goodbyes to her friends and followed after him.

But before she left she couldn't help noticing how something had changed between her and Sirius.

She had never before noticed he smelled of the winter woods and faded leather. She had never before noticed how his eyes lit up at the mention of chocolate frogs. She had never before noticed how her heart would flutter when he held her close.

She couldn't believe herself.

She was only thirteen. In a way.

She couldn't be falling for her best friend's godfather. She couldn't be falling for anybody. She loved.. she loved Ron. Her freckled, redheaded best friend. The boy who had given up his life for hers.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.

The holidays hadn't been too much fun. Sirius and Reggie had flooed in once. When they had, Hermione had strictly chosen to comply by the rule of "ignorance is bliss". She had disregarded her feelings for Sirius as a simple crush that would pass away soon.

She couldn't ever feel more deeply than that for anyone. Not after Ron.

She had stayed in correspondence with Peter and Remus.

As for James, he had very unceremoniously announced his presence at home without any prior information. He claimed he had been bored and visiting Sirius was out of the question, of course. Remus had been otherwise busy since it was only a day before the full moon. Peter had been away with his family.

Papa had laughed a lot that day, greatly enthused at housing a boy of such mischief. It hadn't taken him very long to warm up to the Marauder. Rab, however had taken a while longer due to the incident that had happened at the lake. Papa was still not privy to the boys' part in Hermione's fall or he would certainly raged on for a bit.

Hermione had even taken James outside and into the forest. Other than him, Rab had been the only one to know of her escape. Perhaps it was just how James looked so much like Harry. But she couldn't deny that James had a certain pull to himself. She had always felt drawn towards him. Inside the shell of arrogance he so often wore was the softest boy she had known.

He was nothing less than a mother hen. She had seen him at it many times. She saw him make sure that Remus always had two full plates of lunch every time before the full moon. He made sure to intercept Sirius' mail from his mother. He never let Peter go marauding without finishing his homework despite how much he detested doing it himself.

James Potter was a conundrum.

He might pretend to be a bad boy. But truly, deep inside he was a puddle of a boy.

Harry would love meeting him when he eventually did.

James had made Hermione take him exploring farther than she had ever been.

They had come to a vast clearing where James proclaimed, 'This is where we build our little treehouse.'

Hermione and James had worked diligently for two hours collecting wood before James finally agreed they should call Rab to help them out. There way no way they could go about it the Muggle way.

It had taken Rab only twenty minutes to finish the job after which the three had spent the afternoon playing wizarding chess inside.

Blinky had gladly brought the trio some food and chilled juice.

Hermione felt immensely grateful towards Rab. He would always try and be a part of her life even if it meant indulging in the childishness of making a treehouse.

Rab had left them once his friend, now girlfriend actually, Melinda had arrived.

James had plopped down onto a plush couch.

Hermione commented, 'We have to thank magic. If this was a common Muggle treehouse I don't think it'd have held the weight of all the things you insisted on putting in here.'

James scoffed, 'It isn't a lot.'

Hermione tied her hair in a bun and pointed at the various things he had asked Rab to conjure up.

'We definitely don't require a kitchenette in a treehouse. We don't need a sofa or a bed. Treehouses aren't even supposed to have a bed. This place is huge. It's almost as big as our dormitories.'

James patted Hermione on her back, 'Well, its going to be very special in the coming years. You'll see. We're too close to the school year now but next summer the Maruaders, a certain Miss Lestrange and a very much in love Lily shall spend their days lounging here at Messer James' humble abode.

Hermione cried out, 'Hey, it's mine too!'

He shook his head. 'Nope. It was my idea.'

'Its my forest.'

'How possessive of you, Lestrange. It's mine.'

Hermione hit him on his head and went back to reading her book.

Rab had received his NEWTs a couple of weeks ago. Five outstandings and an exceeds expectations in Transfiguration.

He had left for Wales to attend the Institute aimed at curse breaking a day after James had come over. He would return after two years. However, he had promised to come home for Christmas and help Papa begin with Hermione's lessons in the Dark Arts.

Since Hermione had covered various spells from the hidden library already she was confident in her abilities to master them soon enough. She had nearly mastered the Fidelius Charm but was a long way from perfecting flying.

She did after all have her meditations to do for her Animagus training. She was simply doing too much and was beginning to feel the added stress.

Hermione had visited Diagon Alley with Papa alone and had met up with Severus and Lily to buy supplies for the new term.

The two had been very forthcoming about their summers. Hermione didn't have much to add in other than her time spent with Sirius, Reggie and James. She couldn't go telling them about her dabbling in the Dark Arts after all however much it would have interested Severus.

And so Hermione had entered her third year and was currently sitting among an incredibly bored group of Slytherins and an excited horde of Gryffindors as they waited for their DADA professor to enter the classroom.

When Professor Abbington finally arrived he immediately vanished the desks away and asked the students to fall into a line.

With a sense of foreboding Hermione looked at Severus who merely raised his brow at her.

She knew this seemed all too familiar. They would surely be practicing with..

'Boggarts!' The Professor clapped his hands in enthusiasm. 'Who can tell me what they are?'

Lily's hand flew up into the air and she answered, 'They are creatures who take up the form of whatever scares you the most. Nobody knows what they really look like.'

'And how do you defeat one?'

Remus replied, 'With the spell Riddikulus.'

Professor Abbington awarded five points each to the two students.

Hermione saw Professor reveal an armoire to the class from within which they could hear the sounds of something that kept smashing against its walls, struggling to break free.

They practiced the incantation and filed away.

James and Peter stood in front while Sirius and Remus looked hesitant.

Hermione knew why. Sirius would most probably be facing his mother and Remus would face the moon. Both of them would be incredibly ashamed.

The professor soon released the boggart and Hermione made it a point to stand at the end of the line. She hoped the class would be over before her change came.

James was facing an angry clown which he soon turned into a little hen. Peter had faced a terrifying snake. The Slytherins had snickered to themselves at the poor boy but when he turned the snake into a dirty rat they fell into an uncomfortable silence.

Lily had faced what Hermione would have once upon a time. Professor McGonagall telling her she had failed.

As Diana Parkinson stepped forward several things happened at once.

A Gryffindor had been pushed into the girl and the group of Slytherins immediately stepped aside, none of them trying to help her.

Parkinson fell down and Hermione ran to her and helped her up.

The boggart began assuming a shape but its attention drifted to Hermione and advanced upon her.

Her breath quickened. She wasn't sure what she would face but she knew whatever it would be was bound to be scarier than anything these kids should have to face.

Hermione saw Sirius looking curiously at her expression of complete dread and braced herself for the impact.

She shut her eyes tightly and only opened them when she heard a very distant but a very familiar drawl.

A blond head appeared into the room. The boy was dressed in immaculate black coloured robes with his face drawn into a scowl.

Draco.

Hermione stopped moving and saw as the entire class quietened, curious at why she would be so scared of someone who had turned out to be nothing but quite a stunning chap.

Draco opened his mouth and whispered. 'We had become family in those last few days, Hermione. Do you know what that means? It means sticking by them until the end.'

He sneered, 'But you left. You left my mother behind. My poor cousin. You left little Teddy. You know what happened to Bill? To Charlie or Percy? They're all gone.'

Hermione's lips quivered. No. She had made the sacrifice to save them. They couldn't be dead. He was lying.

He bent his head close to her ear and said, 'Everyone's dead, Hermione. Nobody's home.'

Hermione let out a strangled cry as Draco swiftly turned into a redhead with freckles that adorned his face like stars would, a constellation.

She cried out, 'Oh, Ron.'

Ron's mouth twisted into a grimace, 'I loved you my whole life, Mione. I died for you.'

Hermione reached out her arms, now completely unaware of the very rapt attention everyone was paying her.

'But you chose to forgot.'

She was almost about to touch him when her worst fear was realised in the form of her best friend.

Harry smiled ruefully at her.

Multiple gasps were heard throughout the room. They were seeing James. How could he be the terror that graced the life of one of his closest friends.

Harry spoke in a fervoured voice, 'I'm not coming for you, Mione.'

Hermione shook her head. 'No. You're here. I can feel you.'

'You're wrong. You keep calling onto the afterlife, Mione. I'm gone. Nobody's coming to get you. You're alone. All alone.'

Hermione fell onto her knees as her best friend's beautiful eyes flashed red. He was possessed by that wretched monster.

'Don't you dare think for a second you've got me fooled, you little girl.' He raised his finger to inch her chin closer to his mouth. 'I will end you. Just like your pathetic little blood traitor. Just like the Boy Who Lived.'

He aimed his wand at her, 'You filthy little mu..'

'Riddikulus!' Hermione whispered with a flick of her wrist and saw as the boggart's body exploded into a million feathers that fell down on the floor.

She raised her red eyes to face those of her classmates and dared them to ask questions.

Nobody did.

Especially not James who fled the room as fast as he could.


	21. Chapter 21

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

It had been easy to ignore her yearmates with the Christmas break having begun just two days after the incident.

She needn't have since not everyone had noticed the uncanny nature to her boggart's words. But she knew that a certain group of Maruaders would not let her go that easy. She was quite certain that Sirius and James' supposed visit after Christmasday was a hoax to interrogate her.

The manor looked just the same as it had when she had left at the beginning of the summer. The eleves had already decorated the entire place in the colours of the holiday season.

Hermione sat in the parlour room warming her hands over the cackling fire in the ornately designed fireplace.

Papa had been furiously writing a letter to a business associate despite feeling particularly downtrodden that day.

Hermione looked at him intently and wondered why he wouldn't just rest. His health had begun to deteriorate once again.

'Papa, why don't you come sit with me for a bit?'

Papa looked startled, as if he had forgotten she had been there at all. He put a hand across his forehead. His breathing had begun to become shallow and he wheezed every time that he did.

Hermione rushed to her feet and called for Blinky, 'Blinky, carry Papa to his room immediately.'

Blinky had helped Papa in his nightclothes and had prepared a warm broth for the old man.

Hermione held his hand as he drifted off to sleep. She felt herself tear up over the prospect of losing him. His health was always so very unstable that there was never any knowing. He was already well into his hundreds but wizards could live much much longer.

She had suffered enough. Merlin, not him, too.

Hermione, for the next three days, had spent most of her time with Papa, reading the newspaper to him and helping him with small tasks.

When Rab had arrived, he had fussed over his grandfather and begged him to step down from his post at the Lestrange Corporation and various other business stands he worked at.

'And who would follow in my footsteps? I can't let that foolish boy take over the finances. He would put it to use for that vile creature.'

Rab threaded his fingers in his hair, 'Papa, I can come back home and help you. You need only ask.'

Papa shook his head furiously. 'No, what you're doing now is your dream and I shan't take it away from you. Don't worry about this old man, Rab. I'm well enough.'

Rab shared a look with Hermione who kept silent. He said, 'You will work from home from now. I shan't hear a complaint in this regard. I don't care how much you fuss about needing fresh air, you are not to leave your bed for any reason. I shall change the wards to allow some of your most trusted men who can help manage the estate.'

Papa looked pained. 'Be a prisoner in my own house?'

Hermione whispered, 'Would you rather risk your life and leave us alone in this world?'

Papa looked at her sharply and his face softened. He reached out his hand to her which she immediately held in hers. He dropped a feather like kiss against her knuckles.

'Rab, you must teach your sister of our ways. Seeing as I am too.. frail, the task is now yours.'

Rab nodded and the two siblings left. Rab settled into the divan in the hall and his head fell in his hands.

'He must change the will.'

Hermione silently agreed.

'He won't make it. If Rodolphus becomes the Head..'

Hermione stepped closer to him and rubber his shoulders, leaning into his warmth.

'Even if he tried to you know he couldn't. Old families are bound with impenetrable magic.'

There was a reason Sirius had been disowned and yet had stayed the heir.

*

The next day Rab had begun to teach her. They covered the basics of how the Dark Arts differed from the Light.

'Now, Hermione you can use your wand inside the house. The Trace is a joke. It merely senses the vague perimeter within which magic has taken place. It can never pjnpoint the exact location and even if it could, in pure blood houses it's an increasingly difficult task to determine who cast the spell.'

So Hermione's theory had been right.

'Coupled with the presence of extremely powerful wizards and witches in the household along with the unbreakable wards and the blood magic within the very walls of the Manor, it is nearly impossible for anybody to realise that an underage child is performing magic.'

Hermione nodded.

Rab then went on to teach her some very basic jinxes that Hermione personally wouldn't consider all that dark herself.

The spell _**Intermissia**_ could break all the bones inside the body an individual at a mere flick of the hand. Casting a _**Spiritus confractus**_ could sneak inside the chest of a person and break away the rhythmic breaths he's taking, prolonging his death by fifteen very painful minutes filled with an extreme sensation of suffocation. _**Praemius**_ would explode the body of a man in less than a second and end his life then and there.

Rab told her there were no countercurses to these spells for they hadn't been used since at least four centuries. The Malfoy family had been the original casters and had then shared them with the rest of the Pureblood society most of whom then practiced them on.. muggles.

Hermione had been thoroughly repulsed and considered giving up on the task. To be wielding such vile magic ..

She reminded herself of the greyness of things. She would never use such a spell on a helpless man or woman, magic or not. Instead she would use them to end those who did.

As they progressed the spells got considerably darker. A particular spell they had been learning the day before Christmas was aimed at turning the blood inside a person into mush thereby killing a man from the inside out, draining him of his very life source.

Hermione had proved to be quite adept at the Dark Arts which had both prided and concerned Rab. Papa, however had been elated. He didn't seem to notice the tender age at which Hermione had calmly mastered magic that sometimes was lost even to the wisest wizards.

Rab had moved all his belongings back to the manor despite the many protests put up by Papa. But Rab had had none of it. He had decided he would manage the hassle of travelling from England to Wales every day very gladly if it meant he could keep an eye on his beloved grandfather.

*

The family spent Christmas in Papa's room, neither grandchild wishing to cause him any further discomfort.

Despite the gloomy air that had settled in the house, Papa's spirits couldn't be dampened the next day when Sirius and James arrived.

The two boys had been struck when they saw their favourite grandfather riddled into bed looking weaker than they had ever seen him.

Sirius sat on the window sill beside Hermione who was staring out at the snow laden grounds looking wistfully at her willow.

He whispered in her ear, 'How long?'

Hermione replied just as quietly, 'He isn't in his deathbed, Sirius. At least not yet. He's not sick but his body's becoming incredibly weak. The healers say he has a few years. Five at most.'

Her voice broke and she looked away.

Rab had entered the room just then and herded the children out.

'You lot go enjoy yourselves.' He had said firmly.

Sirius and James tried their best to draw Hermione out but they didn't realise she had fallen back to a place they could never reach.

Hermione hadn't been this haunted by the idea of death in a long time now. She had been safe here in this time thanks to the man who now lay weakened beyond measure. She hadn't felt the creeping fear that slowly took a permanent place in your heart when death walked rampage on the streets.

James grabbed her hand and said, 'Hey, 'Mi, look. Just for a day, let's forget everything, yeah?'

She looked at him from underneath her lashes and tried to smile. 'Promise you won't ask me about the boggart then?'

He looked conflicted but nodded nonetheless. Her happiness mattered more than satiating his curiosity.

She nodded her head in resolution and said, 'Okay. But James, it wasn't you. I could never be scared of you.'

Sirius watched curiously as James visibly deflated. It seemed James had had a sudden realisation. An epiphany. 'Harry! That's what you called me that day in the Hospital Wing.'

'He was from your nightmares, wasn't he?' Sirius muttered. 'You always cried out his name.'

Hermione looked at him sharply. She began fidgeting with her fingers and looked extremely uncomfortable. She looked away from either of the boys.

Sirius had accurately judged the shift in her mood and touched her lightly.

'Hey, 'Mi. Look at this.'

He removed his jacket to reveal the sweater he was wearing underneath. A scarlet and gold sweater with the letter S sewed in. A similar scarf around his neck.

He winked at her and barked out laughing as she blushed.

Hermione felt herself tear up and as a couple of tears escaped her eyes she got up and flung her arms around him.

'I thought you'd throw them away. You were always so mad at me those first two years.'

'Never. They mean the world to me.' He proceeded to pull out the cap she had knit him last Christmas and put it on his head even though it looked nothing like one.

James laughed at the sight of his friend and looked on at the two in contentment, relieved now that Hermione was finally beginning to loosen up and also quite unburdened knowing it hadn't been him. He had been deeply unsettled having seen his likelihood speak in ways so wantonly cruel that it made his skin crawl.

He jumped into the air. 'I know what we should do! Let's braid Sirius' hair!'

Hermione giggled as Sirius grumbled and acquiesced only to make her smile when she didn't have much going on to smile for.

Before the boys left in the evening they visited Papa one last time with the promise of coming back to see him soon enough.

After James had left, Sirius stepped into the fireplace and looked deep into Hermione's eyes.

'You know I will never judge you, right? You can come to me. Whenever you're ready, I want you to come to me. Let me help you. Please.'

With that, Sirius flooed away.

*

Rab had been drilling Hermione. She had barely enough time to visit her hidden library these days but was adamant on spending some time doing her research there.

She had a plan in mind and it required some skills Hermione didn't possess. She had also been gathering supplies for polujuice potion from the Manor's stores.

Late that night, over the dinner table, the two siblings were laughing and singing when Papa had successfully managed the walk to the dining room from his chambers all by himself.

Rab commented, 'It's a good thing you've already been trained in Occlumency. I don't think I could keep up with you practicing that.'

Hermione didn't think he could. He would have crumbled at the sight of what lay inside her head.

Papa grunted, 'But Hermione never did learn Legilimency very well.'

Hermione complained, 'I'm passable at it, Papa.' She didn't want anybody snooping in her mind. 'I don't want to further practice it. I believe Occlumency is enough protection as it is.'

The two men looked unsure.

Before Hermione had left for King's Cross with Rab she had run up to Papa's room and jumped into his bed.

Slightly surprised, Papa recollected himself and enveloped the girl in his arms.

'Papa, I love you. Please, please look after yourself. I don't want you to exert yourself. And write to me. Everyday!'

Papa chortled, 'I know your brother will keep you informed. He won't be letting me out of here anyway so you shouldn't have to worry, my sweet child.'

At the train station, Rab squeezed her hand lightly before helping her up.

A look of shared misery passed between the duo.

Severus came upon the two and their gaze drifted away from each other.

Rab smirked at Severus, 'Snape, keeping well?'

Severus nodded his head, 'I am. How about you, Lestrange?'

'Quite well, thank you. I hope you have a good term ahead of you.'

Hermione looked one last time at the retreating back of her brother.

**_Brother_ ** _._

What a beautiful word.


	22. Chapter 22

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Well into the month of January, Reggie found Hermione in the library one day. 'Are you busy?'

Hermione shook her head, 'No, what is it?'

'Oh nothing just needed some help with homework.'

Hermione gladly obliged. 'How are things at home?'

Reggie frowned, 'Same as ever. Sirius never comes home other than for the summer holidays. Mother's always breathing down his neck.'

'I wasn't asking about your brother.' She said as she wrote furiously in her notebook, cataloguing the ingredients required for the potion she was brewing for Slughorn's class. 'I was asking about you.'

'What about me?' Reggie grunted.

'Well, since Sirius is a disgrace to your mother she must be expecting a lot from you.'

'Er.. yes, I suppose so.'

She looked at him with concern at his sudden discomfort.

'Is something the matter?'

He shook his head.

When Lily arrived at their table a little while later and plopped down next to Hermione, Reggie sneered and huffed to himself.

When Lily got up to go look for a book Hermione turned to her friend.

'I didn't take you for a racist especially after how you seem to detest your mother's ways.'

'I don't like the way she treats Sirius. I never said I was a fan of muggles or mudbloods.'

Hermione shrieked, 'Regulus Black! How dare you?'

Reggie looked away, 'I'm not sorry. I'm sorry that I upset you but I'm not sorry I called her that.'

Hermione sputtered, suddenly at a loss of words.

Wait.. what was this?

How could Hermione have not seen the slowly growing darkness in her friend who was nothing but a twelve year old child?

*

'Maybe she's a Seer?' James suggested as he grabbed the book Remus had been reading while sat in the Great Hall having breakfast.

Remus scowled, 'Give me my book back, please and no she can't be one.'

'Why not?'

'Seers are extremely rare. Extremely.'

Sirius pointed out, 'She always has been kind of.. strange.. not the bad strange, mind you, but I mean she's always been a little beyond her years, if you know what I mean. Maybe because she can See she knows stuff.'

Peter laughed digging into his toast, 'Or maybe unlike you she's just a little smart and a little mature.'

Remus shook his head, 'Forget about it. She obviously doesn't want anybody to go snooping into her business. Give her some privacy.'

The boys stopped talking when Hermione walked by them waving her hand in greeting.

Peter called out, 'Hermione, you coming to the village with us tomorrow?'

Hermione turned around and yelled, 'I'll be with Severus.'

Sirius grumbled, 'She's always hanging out with that pathetic toerag.'

James placed a hand against his chest and sighed dramatically, 'Now you know my pain.'

*

Hermione stood in a canopied part of Hogsmeade the next morning. Very carefully she ensured nobody was anywhere near her but still cast various spells to ward off any onlookers.

She gulped down the Polujuice Potion she held in her hand. She had added the hair of an intimidating looking mugge man to it which she had collected while sneaking off from Diagon alley the previous summer.

The potion had also been successfully brewed since then.

She grimaced at the awful taste and felt her body grow in size. As her body grew taller and wider Hermione took a notice of her clothes. They had already been enlarged before taking the potion. She changed the colour of her robes to a dusty grey and conjured a ragged looking scarf to cover her face with.

Taking a minute or so adjust to her temporary form Hermione walked out of her hiding spot and made her way towards the Hog's Head.

Hogwarts students were milling about excitedly despite the slowly beginning snowstorm.

She had already ditched Severus after an hour of perusing books and telling him to leave her be since it could take her a while.

Entering the pub Hermione's nostrils were hit by the pungent smell of Firewhisky.

She chose a decrepit corner to place herself in which gave her an excellent vantage point.

She was waiting for a certain Mundungus Fletcher.

It had been quite the epiphany when she remembered the bloke. He was known for his shady reputation and his ties to the supposed underworld. If anybody could get her the venom of a basilisk it'd be him.

The timing of her epiphany had also been the most fortunate. She knew he'd be banned from the pub after angering Aberforth somewhere around 1975.

She had spent the majority of her day in the pub. Nearing three hours and having not seen him still put her on edge.

She was certain she'd find him here.

A little while longer. She'd wait for the evening to settle in. She didn't have to bother with returning to school on time. She'd simply take the secret passage when she was finished.

She sat waiting till the snowstorm was brewing in its full glory and finally decided to leave when the clock chimed in eight.

Casting a disillusionment charm on herself she sneaked into the cellar of Honeydukes and opening the trapdoor, jumping into the passage.

She cast a Lumos and began the long journey back.

She wasn't going to lose hope. He'd come someday.

*

On her third Hogsmeade weekend she had finally spotted the miscreant. He looked so much younger than the man she remembered. He looked almost .. agreeable.

As she saw him place his order she carried her own glass of Firewhisky, which she absolutely detested but had to tolerate for the sake of appearances, towards him.

She took the stool beside him and tried to initiate conversation. She thought a direct approach would be the best.

She heard the gruff voice of the man she'd turned into say, 'You're Fletcher, aren't you?'

Mundungus grunted in response and sipped his drink. 'What's it to you?'

'I might be able to make good use of your services.'

'And why'd you think I'd help you out, eh? Never even seen you before. Don't even know your name. Who are you?'

Hermione replied, 'That won't be necessary.' She pulled out a small pouch full of gold and threw it across to him.

Mundungus' eyes grew large and he weighed the pouch in his hands.

'Basilisk venom.' She said, making sure Aberforth was elsewhere busy.

Mundungus raised his brow and barked out a laugh, 'What'd you need that for? Dappling in very very dark magic, eh?'

She feared he'd report it to Dumbledore. She knew the Order was in its initial days and was on the lookout for anybody doing anything fishy.

She grabbed him by the collar and tried to look as scary as possible. She used her best sneer and drawled, 'If you tell anyone, do know I'll be after you, you blithering idiot.'

Hermione snatched the gold from his hands.

His terrified face regained some colour. 'Right here, next week.. same time. And it'll cost you a lot more than what you're carrying.'

Hermione stood up and barked, 'I don't think so.'

She glared at him one last time before leaving.

*

Hermione had sneaked out of the castle on the day Mundungus had specified during their last meeting. Since it hadn't been a Hogsmeade weekend it had taken her quite a while to get here.

'Well?' She demanded of him.

Fletcher looked at Hermione strangely. 'May I ask what you're planning to do with it?'

'Why do you want to know?'

'It's highly suspicious. Come now, it took me loads of effort to get this for ya. I deserve to know.'

'You're the fishiest bloke I've heard of. Everyone bloody well knows of your illicit affairs in the market. And this is fishy to you?'

Fletcher scowled and grudgingly passed onto her a small container.

'Is it safe to touch? What kind of protection is on the box?'

Fletcher smirked, completely in his element now, 'The vessel's lined by dragon blood. It keeps the venom secure. You're gonna have to pour it out into something else to use it.'

'How do I know it's not a fake?'

Fletcher looked indignant. 'I'm always faithful to my clients.' She knew the man had his faults but she also knew he was true to his job.

Hermione very cautiously shrunk the vessel and placed it in the inner pocket of her cloak.

Retreiving the pouch of money, she threw it at him.

Fletcher greedily pawed the gold and tipped his hat at her. 'Pleasure. Maybe next time you want something you'll find me again, eh?'

Hermione sneered and left.

She wouldn't have to worry about adding the task of learning to cast Fiendfyre to her list anymore. She had the venom.

She was a step closer to her mission.

Now if only she could find Harry.


	23. Chapter 23

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

 

Hermione had been accompanied by Peter to Diagon Alley. The two had gotten together to shop for the school supplies together in the middle of August.

They were being escorted by Rab who had only just left for Gringotts. He'd be coming by to pick them up and Apparate them home in an hour's time.

Florian Fortescue's ice cream was as good as ever. Hermione sat slurping a butterbeer flavoured one with Peter chattering away on her side.

'Now, of course personally I wouldn't mind myself a bird but they're always after the Quidditch players for some reason. It's so unfair that James gets all of them. And well Sirius being Sirius guarantees a line of them always ready at his command. Remus has mystery all around him. Girls are ready to fall at his feet but the poor bloke won't accept it.'

Hermione laughed at her friend's tirade. She had heard tales of how Sirius Black had been a flirt back in his day. She had expected it from the git too.

What she hadn't expected was the sudden burn she'd feel in her throat every time he winked at a girl or flew kisses at one.

'Well if it makes you feel better James never flirts with the girls however many may be following him around.'

'That's because he only has eyes for Lily. Doesn't change the fact he's popular and has options if he ever needs it.'

Hermione shook her head sadly, 'You should stop thinking about girls. I'm sure the right one will find you. And you're completely wrong, for the record. Because trust me there is the same number of girls fawning over you as any of your other friends.'

Peter whined, 'But then why won't Dorcas Meadowes even look at me?!'

Hermione chortled, 'Aha, this is the real problem! You don't want the girls fawning over you. You want Meadowes!'

'She likes some older bloke in ravenclaw.' He grumbled.

'You have four more years to woo your lady's heart, my friend. Maybe you can take pointers from James.'

She laughed at his disgusted face. 'Please, Prongsie and I are world's apart. He's lovestruck.'

'Prongsie?' They had begun using their names then.

Peter checked their surroundings and whispered, 'We were able to focus and mediate into seeing our forms. Came up with the nicknames then. Remus thinks they're just .. well meaningless. But as soon as we're finished, he'll understand.'

The pair was interrupted by a little girl giggling at their feet.

The girl had vibrant green hair and was no older than one. She was reaching her arms towards Hermione who had a very good feeling about who this young lady was.

Hermione cooed into the baby's ear as she picked her up.

'I do apologise for ruining your date.' Hermione looked up into the face of a young Andromeda Tonks. For lack of other words, she looked stunning. She was oozing royalty and had all the Black charms but also held an air of incredible kindness around her.

Peter pointed out, 'We are most certainly not on a date.' He got up and made place for Andromeda. 'Please take a seat, Miss. I can understand the woes of carrying a child through Diagon Alley all by myself. Had to deal with a very viavious three year old once. Babysitting.' He made a face.

Hermione politely stood up and introduced herself and Peter to the woman.

'Andromeda Tonks. Aren't you in Sirius' year? He has written to me of his friends. He's mentioned you a few times.'

Hermione blushed and nodded her head.

She looked into Tonks' eyes and her face lit up in a smile. Her hair kept changing colours. She was currently sporting her infamous bubblegum pink.

Peter took the little girl from her hands and commented, 'She's a Metamorphamagus.'

Andromeda sighed, 'Always a difficult task finding her when we're out shopping. You never know how to describe the girl if she gets lost. She's only just started walking. She keeps running off.'

Peter chortled, 'I wish she was a little older. Think of all the pranks we could pull if she was with us.' His eyes twinkled with mischief.

Andromeda laughed, 'She can be quite a handful. I must really thank you kids for taking her off my hands for a bit.'

Hermione smiled at her in sympathy.

*

As promised a year earlier by James, the Marauders had pooled into the Lestrange Manor to spend a day at their treehouse a week before the start of the new term.

Except there was no Lily Evans in sight.

Hermione teased, 'Are we not expecting someone, James?'

James grumbled, 'Perhaps next year.'

He was fussing over a chocolate frog an hour later, Lily pushed back in the crevices of his mind.

'I never get the card I want. I don't want another one of Dumbledore's. He's everywhere!'

Sirius was sprawled over the bed and grumbled, 'Stop your whining, Prongs. You promised fun. As dashing as your treehouse is I'm getting boooooored.' He said in a singsong voice.

Hermione butted in, 'When are you not? You're always so hyperactive, Sirius. You should try laying down low for a bit.'

Remus laughed out loud. 'He's such a git. You need a manual for Sirius Black. He just can't stay put. He goes through twenty different moods in a matter of an a day.'

Sirius complained, 'I am right here. Shut up, the two of you.' He looked at Peter, 'You up for a game of chess, mate?'

Peter who had been happily drinking his butterbeer got up and took the chessboard over the bed.

'You always lose.'

Sirius huffed, 'I do not.'

'You just don't like knowing there are things you're not good at.' Peter smirked.

James began fiddling with the wizarding radio. The treehouse was suddenly flooded with the sounds of a lovesong.

Sirius whistled, 'Come Moony, let's dance!'

He shuffled onto his feet and dragged Remus away to the middle of the floor and started traipsing aorund him. Remus laughed as he twirled him around.

Hermione watched and giggled softly as Peter grumbled about why James got to lead the pair.

'Because you'd make a pretty bird, Pete.' he blew a kiss at him and laughed.

Here they were. The Marauders. Untainted by the clutches of war.

*

Another week passed and before she knew it she was on her way to start her fourth year at Hogwarts. Again.

It was the morning of September first and yet Hermione was still inside her home, sipping her tea. Instead of taking the Hogwarts Express, she would be flooing into Slughorn's office with special permission.

That's how she would be traveling in the near future.

She looked up as Papa entered with Rab. Papa had greatly improved in his health over the last year and was once again looking a healthy man.

'I don't understand. How dare he?!' Papa was fuming. 'Threaten his own blood? I raised him better.'

Rab took a drag from his cigar and sighed as he sat in front of Hermione. 'I truly am sorry, 'Mi. You're going to have to be very careful this year. Rolf is an incredibly unpredictable man especially so now.'

Hermione nodded gravely. She understood all too well. Better than Rab ever would.

Papa stood beside the window, 'I do not wish to rescind your permission slip to Hogsmeade, child. But I have to be careful. I.. I can't let you be at unncessary risk.'

Hermione complained, 'Papa, he would never dare try anything while at Hogsmeade. The Dark Lord himself is terrified of only one man in the world and that's Dumbledore. Rodolphus would never try to harm me while Dumbledore's there.

Although Hermione would be fooling herself if she truly believed in such ideas.

Papa seemed to ponder over it. 'It is too much of a risk. I can't. You have to understand.'

Rab interrupted, 'People will start to notice. So far we have managed to keep the entire affair wrapped up.'

'I won't visit if that's what you want, Papa. If it makes you feel safer then I mustn't leave the castle.'

Hermione had other ways after all.

'I know it's going to cause you great discomfort but we live in terrible times. The Dark Lord is getting stronger by the day. He knows no limits. The rumors that I have heard about him makes me doubt if he's even a man.'

Hermione used to wonder the same thing before. Voldemort was never a man. He had always been a power-thirsty leech.

Papa summoned an old, intricately designed wooden box which he took in his hands with reverance.

He opened the lid and peered into its contents.

'These are one of the oldest Lestrange family heirlooms.'

He revealed the contents to the pair. Inside rested a handsome emerald ring studded in a gold band that wrapped around it like vines of a tree. Beside it was a simple gold chain with an emerald set deep into the grove of similar vines.

With tender hands he presented the ring to Rab and latched the chain around Hermione's neck.

She felt the steady heat emanating from it and nothing of the weight she may have expected from such a treasure.

'The stone is enchanted. It has charms and protections that nobody in this time could even begin to comprehend.' Papa explained, 'This is very ancient magic activated by blood. It senses your emotions and the danger around you. It will protect you from some common dark curses. Remember, it shan't make you invincible. But it will help.'

Rab frowned, 'Is this the set Father always spoke about? The one designed by Morgana herself.'

Papa smiled, 'Yes, you're quite right.'

Hermione felt a strange emotion surge through her. To be wearing of such historical importance was a feeling she'd never felt before.

'It will ward off danger only to a certain extent. It will also help if someday you require a speedy exit from a tight spot. But you must know that it only works if your heart is pure. It has never been known to aid a treacherous soul.'


	24. Chapter 24

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Hermione followed Sirius to the Hospital Wing.

It was mid October and Remus lay in bed with a nasty cut on his calf from the transformation two days ago.

He ran his hands tiredly over his ashen face and sighed heavily, 'You don't have to come see me every day. I'll be out of here by tonight.'

Sirius scoffed, 'Not come see you and miss out on seeing your pretty face first thing in the morning? NEVER!'

Hermione rolled her eyes and dropped a bag full of chocolates in Remus' lap which made him visibly brigthen up.

'Courtesy of the house eleves that adore you more than any student in the castle.' Hermione explained.

Remus nodded, 'They do it every month. Although Peter is always ready with a batch at my bedside but one of the elves will always come see me, you know?'

Sirius laughed, 'I think they're in love with you, Moony. Must be your dreamy eyes.' He made a lovestruck face and teased, 'I find find myself distracted oh so often by the glorious amber that you keep carrying around.'

Moony hit him in the chest and grumbled, 'Shut your trap. You're embarrassing me.'

Hermione laughed at their playfulnes.

'Where are James and Peter?' Remus asked.

Hermione shrugged, 'They'll come fetch you in the evening. Peter was still asleep and James got caught up with Professor Sprout who was very upset at his recent lack of attention in her class.'

Sirius motioned for Remus to make space as he slid in beside the boy and made himself comfortable.

'I'd say it's Pomona's fault, really. She shouldn't expect poor Prongsie to not slack off in class if she goes on and partners him with Lily.'

Hermione observed, 'But I thought he was no longer hellbent on asking her out.'

Remus snorted, 'There is a difference between getting over someone and deciding not to annoy them to maybe make them realise that you might just be a reasonable bloke.'

'Is that what he's trying to do?' Hermione did have an idea but she could never be entirely certain.

Sirius sighed, 'Little git won't be getting over her anytime soon. I think he's in it for the long haul.' He sighed dramatically, 'I pity him.'

Hermione frowned, 'Not everyone is an uncaring flirt such as yourself.'

Sirius smirked, 'Do I sense jealousy, love?'

Getting all flustered, Hermione replied, 'Why would you reach a conclusion like that? All I'm saying is that sometimes you really do meet someone who's worth the wait.'

Sirius leaned on his elbows, 'You really do have a bloke picked out, don't you?' He whined, 'Why won't you just tell me?'

'That's neither here nor there. Why do you care anyway? Don't you have some bird to run after?'

'I would if I wasn't being hounded on by a certain witch. You keep chastising me for my boyish whims. I feel very insulted, if you must know. Always doubting my honour.'

'Feeling guilty, are we?' She inquired.

Sirius put his hands up in the air, 'Why would I feel guilty? Girls love me. Ask Marlene!'

'I wouldn't need to. She worships the ground you walk on and I'd go as far as saying she genuinely cares about you. But you? You can be so insensitive.'

Sirius looked aghast. 'It's not my fault she has a crush on me.'

Hermione hissed, 'You could be a little more considerate and refrain from chatting up any girl who comes across you when she's right there beside you. Do you know how degrading it must feel for her to be so blatantly ignored by the boy she likes so much?'

Sirius bristled, 'What's got your knickers in a twist?' He winked, 'Although I must say you're a right little minx when you decide to go all fiesty on me.'

Hermione glared, 'You're an arse!'

She stormed away after bidding goodbye to Remus who had been looking on at the two with curiosity. He had obviously noticed how Hermione's fists would curl in annoyance anytime Sirius played around with a bird. He also noticed how Sirius would sometimes just stare at her when she wasn't looking with a look of ardent longing in his eyes.

But what really confused Remus was the sudden switch in Hermione's mood everytime she found herself craving for Sirius'attention. He saw how she would quickly catch herself, shake her head and look away with guilt.

He never ceased to wonder what could cause such a reaction but chose to remain silent. He knew his friends would have to reach the realisation of finally admitting their feelings for each other by themselves. Although sometimes he did wonder if they already had and merely lacked the guts to face each other.

Only time would tell.

Paying no mind to her surroundings, Hermione made her way to the Great Hall all the while grumbling about tactless prats.

Fuming, she slipped into a seat at the Slytherin table and loaded her plate with breakfast.

Severus, seated beside her, raised his brows, 'It was that bunch of baboons, wasn't it?'

Hermione snarked, 'No need to resort to petty name-calling.'

Severus was taken aback at the hostility. 'You seem especially ticked off for some reason. Which one was it?'

Hermione sighed, 'Sirius.'

Severus scoffed, 'That idiot is the worst one. I wonder why you hang out with them.' He spat, 'Those boys are nothing but bullies.'

'You shouldn't be saying that when you keep retaliating with equal fervour.'

'How can you say that?' He grumbled. 'They have it against Slytherins.'

Rookwood, a sixth year who was seated right across them commented, 'They prank each house, if you hadn't noticed. They haven't ever spared their own housemates. You do have a tendency to go picking fights with those boys, Snape.'

'Keep your nose out of my business.' Severus glared at the boy. 'They are nothing but pests.'

Rookwood sneered and looked away.

Severus and Hermione stood up and walked out of the Great Hall and towards the Astronomy Tower.

Hermione had had enough, 'Severus, half the times its you who starts the stupid spats. Don't go around blaming them when you're equally guilty. Stop playing the victim.'

Severus looked horrified, 'Look at yourself, Hermione. You're taking their side. You're defending them. I knew nothing good come out of your relationship with them.'

Hermione began to speak but Severus cut her to it.

'One day when we get out in the real life you'll see how quickly they'll turn their backs on you. For all their bravery they are the real cowards. You belong to an important family. I know you're well aware of the war that's brewing and if you think for a second that they will go easy on you by virtue of this fickle thing you call friendship, you are grievously mistaken.'

Hermione stopped dead in her tracks and looked around herself to ensure the corridor was empty. 'How presumptious of you to so quickly assume I'd be supporting Voldemort.'

Severus visibly winced, 'You dare take his name?' He laughed without any trace of humour, 'You may not spend a lot of time in the company of your own house but rest assured the entirety of the Slytherin student body is quite appreciative of your brother's activities.

When the day comes you will be recruited, Hermione. You're a clever witch and don't forget the Dark Lord knows everything to do with you and your brother Rabastan. If what I've heard is to be trusted, Rodolphus if full of praises when it comes to you.'

'And you got all that from petty gossip that goes aorund in the Common Room?' Hermione scoffed, now truly unsettled.

He whispered furiously, 'I may not be at par with the royalty you are but I have my sources. And when my chance comes I will gladly sign up to aid the Dark Lord.'

Hermione pitied the boy in front of her, 'You speak so proudly of your dreams of ridding the world of muggleborns when your best friend is one.'

Severus looked like someone had slapped him. 'I shall protect her. I am certain my services will be rewarded and she will be spared.'

Hermione smiled ruefully, 'How childish of you to think that monster is capable of such mercy.' She looked deep into his eyes, 'If you think being his servant will grant you immunity from his rage, you are wrong. He takes immense pleasure in hurting those beneath him regardless of the side they're on.'

Severus felt the seeds of doubt grow in his mind but hid it well.

Hermione shook her head and turned to leave, 'If you truly want to look after Lily then fight for the right side. Fight beside her. Don't give up your life for that deranged creature, Severus or you will lose everything.'


	25. Chapter 25

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Severus was avoiding Hermione and it was as clear as the day to her.

It had been four long months and he still hadn't managed to hold a decent conversation with her.

They hadn't fallen out. Not in the least. But things were different.

They would still study together and sit beside the Black Lake but the air between them would always be filled with unsaid words.

Hermione had already made her peace with it. She knew he needed time to digest everything. She could see his mind working. He was as attracted towards the Dark Arts as ever and ardently wished to join Voldemort but there was also an inkling of doubt that had settled deep into his bones.

Hermione had also come to avoid spending any time in the Common Room. She had never been one to spend much time in the Slytherin dorms anyhow. She would always leave in the morning and come back well into the night. Nobody ever dared question her. They never would. She was, after all, the sole daughter to the Lestrange House, one of the most sacred families.

Something about the cold and dreary atmosphere just didn't bode well with her. She was always so reminiscent of the high tower that was truly her home.

She often thought about sneaking in but she had enough to keep her awake at night. She didn't need another emotional rollercoaster.

Although her nightmares were far and few, she would still wake up in a cold sweat and screaming out names nobody would ever understand the significance of.

_How cruel was it that the world would never know of its bravest soldiers_ , Hermione mused as she lay down on a couch that had appeared in the Room of Requirement.

She had spent the last two hours practicing the aviation spell. It was the hardest thing she had done but she had finally, after three full years mastered the art of flying.

And she was proud.

Very proud.

The only thing that remained was she couldn't share her elation with anyone.

Hermione shut her eyes and breathed a sigh of relief and wished she could go out into the night and test her skills in a more open and a natural environment. But she knew it wouldn't be the safest thing to do. Who knew what kind of wards were erected in the school against such a spell. The last thing she wanted was to alert Dumbledore of her dealings.

But what she had forgotten in her rush of excitement was where she was currently lying.

She opened her eyes to a starlit sky. She found herself lying not on a couch but in freshly mown grass with dewdrops adorning its blades. There was no snow laden on the grounds of this enchanted forest.

There were tiny fairies glowing a beautiful golden. They lined the tall trees on either side of her. The air smelled of herbs that Hermione had always associated with the Burrow. This brought a sad smile on her face but nothing could dampen her spirits in that moment.

She was truly and genuinely happy.

She quickly soaked in every little detail and saw how the forest extended across miles and miles of land.

Hermione gasped at the raw beauty of the scene around her and mentally thanked the magic within this mystical Room.

The Founders had indeed been the smartest people to ever grace God's Green Earth.

She removed her cloak and slid out of her shoes. Rolling up her sleeves, Hermione closed her eyes and concentrated on the centre of her soul, imagining a bright light beginning at its contours and surging through her veins and towards the extremities of her body.

She felt her body warp in on itself and turn into a misty white smoke. Despite the sudden loss of her mortal body Hermione felt no discomfort.

In fact all she felt was an unbidden sense of freedom that burst through her as she willed the white smoke emanating form her essence to rise.

She needed no vision. She needed no senses to see or hear or smell or touch.

She needed absolutely nothing.

She had surpassed the physical being of her soul and transcended into something wholly spiritual.

She truly did wonder how someone could ever call such a pure feeling dark magic. It had required nothing of her but her perseverance. It had demanded no sacrifice and no murder and no splitting of her soul. How could anyone have ever labelled this exotic feeling as anything even resembling the darkness.

But then how had Tom, a man twisted beyond the domains of common evil, managed such a feat. Surely a man of his malice could never have been so adept at a magic so innately Light.

She contented herself with the knowledge that she could never have all the answers. Some things she would just have to accept.

Forgetting everything else she pooled in all her energy to maintain the wraith like figure she had assumed and rose over the trees. She levitated herself to greater heights and truly gauged the extent of the forest the room had conjured.

She soared over the large expanse of nature and felt herself give in to the peace that had claimed her soul. As the wind carried her agile form into the deepest torrents of air she felt herself become immune to any other feeling than the complete loss of anything earthly holding her to this world.

She felt ethereal as she rose higher up and plunged into the never ending velvety blanket that the sky had threaded around her. The cold didn't bother her and neither did the soft rain that was pelting down to the ground.

The clouds below her formed a pale, translucent veil as she floated in the peaceful silence until she saw the forest end into the sea.

She dove into the water to find that instead of pulling her into its depths, the water turned her back onto the surface. She felt the vestiges of her smoke like form touch the lapels of the cold water.

Hermione circled back and rose into the air once again with the moonlight being the sole witness to her escape.

Hermione knew nothing but that this was her release from all the emotions of the aching sorrow she had been enthralled into for the last six years in this new life and the three that she had spent fighting in the war in her long lost past.

This was her reprieve from the weight of another war that was to come.

Her only relief from the darkness that kept sucking her deeper into itself.


	26. Chapter 26

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Hermione had been sitting on her desk, penning down a letter to Lily during the middle of the summer holidays.

_.. Of course if you'd prefer, I could ask Rabastan to accompany me to your home someday to erect some wards around the property. However that would require a prior meeting at the Ministry. We can't have them think that you've been performing underage magic._

_But rest assured, leave the task entirely up to me. I shall do everything I can to help keep your family safe._

_Forever true_

_Hermione_

Lately, Lily had been quite unsettled at the prospect of losing her family. Attacks on muggles were so random and often.

Hermione understood it all too well. She too, had felt the same fear for her family once very long ago. She had been so terrified that she had altered their memories and sent them so far away from her and yet.. they couldn't escape death. It had caught onto them and claimed their lives for itself. They had died thinking there was nobody left behind to miss them.. thinking they had no daughter.

She had no recollection of Harry ever confiding in her about the fate of his grandparents and so was completely at a loss of what was to happen to the Evans. But she would not take risks. She would do everything she could to ensure their safety for as long as it lasted. She owed it to Lily.

She owed it to Harry.

Her devotion to him had never wavered despite his absence for the last six years. In fact it had only strengthened. Nothing in this world could shake off Hermione's fierce dedication to her best friend. She would go down fighting for him. She would die before she let anything happen to him.

Nobody could ever count up to what Harry was to her. A friend. A brother.

Family.

Her training in the Dark Arts had continued and ended only a week before. She could say she knew curses that could make a man beg for death. Her expertise was in curses that aimed at prolonging torture. It almost made her shiver in fear for herself. After all that she had learned, she felt no ounce of regret in knowing that she would be putting these spells to use very often.

Papa had been quick to reassure her.

'It is always our freewill that dictates our path for us, child.' He had said, 'No amount of knowledge could ever sway you into the Dark if your heart remained pure.'

It truly terrified her some days. After having caused so much pain how could she have ever retained her innocence. She had killed. She had sinned against Nature.

She had been forced to grow up too fast. Her childhood had been taken away from her the very day the Fates had decided to put her with Harry and Ron. But never was there a moment when she regretted it. She never would. They were the best thing to have happened to her.

Hermione shook her head and let go of the memories that threatened to devour her. It wouldn't do well to fall prey to the most harrowing events of her life. They would draw her in and never let her come back out. It had taken her two full years to recuperate just enough to show any resemblance to normalcy the first time around.

To go through it again would be a hellish affair. Especially when a certain band of Marauders was going to be visiting the next day.

The visit was not less than impromptu. James had written to Papa seeking permission. He had mentioned something of grave importance that must be discussed among the friends immediately.

Hermione had laughed at his sense of propriety. He had decided to write to her grandfather instead of herself. It had left papa incredibly pleased and Rab a little too amused.

Hermione floated down the steps and entered the living room. She was currently alone at the manor. Papa and Rab were both away at work.

Rab had only just finished with his studies and had already taken off most of Papa's workload off of him. This had taken quite a few years off of Papa.

Hermione picked up the The Daily Prophet and browsed through the front page which sported an all too familiar sight of the Dark Mark looming overhead a small cottage that had belonged to the Blythe family. They had been half bloods and had invoked the wrath of Voldemort. She read through the article and found out their funeral would be held a week from now.

Hermione almost felt the walls around her crumple. It was so ominous of the times she had faced in the future.

Funeral after funeral. Each death more dreadful than the last. She had lost count only after having been to a twenty or so.

A tear traced the skin of her cheek and fell onto her fingertips that were white from holding the paper too tight.

He had crept upon them. He had twisted the little sense of safety they had felt and feasted upon their despair.

That vile, vile man.

Oh, how she wished to crush his skull by her bare hands. If only she could..

But before she could finish that train of thought, she was interrupted by a sudden green light in the fireplace as a very disgruntled Sirius Black stumbled out of it.

Hermione rushed to his side, 'I thought we were meeting tomorrow.'

Sirius shrugged, 'Things got a little ugly back home. I needed to.. leave for a while. I would have gone to James but the Potters are doing so much for me already and I just didn't want to impose. I am always at their place during Christmas and for Easter too. Sometimes I feel like such a burden. I have nowhere to go, 'Mi, so I just yelled the first place that came to my mind and I'm so sorry to have appeared out of the blue but..'

Hermione shushed him by waving a hand in front of him. 'Its okay. Papa did say you were always welcome. You can spend the night.'

She guided him towards the sofa and the two sat side by side as Blinky served them tea and biscuits.

She let him stay quiet for the longest time, understanding his need for silence. Sometimes it was the only thing that could mend things.

Only when the two Lestrange men returned in the evening did Sirius seem to shake himself out of the trance he was in.

He got up on his feet and bowed with the courtesy ingrained into him since childhood. As much as he acted like a spoiled kid, wearing leather jackets and perusing Muggle things nobody could ever deny the Pureblood in him.

It was in the very way he walked, the way he held himself. He oozed aristocracy and he could never change that about himself. No matter how much he tried he would always be the heir to the Noble House of Black.

Papa looked thrilled. He patted Sirius on his back and made small talk before retiring to his chambers for a while before dinner was served.

Rab commented, 'You look a little shaken up, Sirius. Perhaps, I should ask for a Proper Up potion to be brought. Would that be alright?'

Sirius looked gratefully at him and nodded. Gulping the potion down he ran a hand tiredly through his hair and let out a sigh.

'Rab, may I rest in my room for a bit?'

Rab nodded curtly and watched as Sirius bounded up the stairs to the room he had usually stayed in when he had been a child.

'I wonder what Walburga did this time. The poor boy.'

Hermione shrugged and decided to visit the kitchens.

'Blinky.. can you help me out a little, please?'

Blinky bowed her head so low that the tip of her nose almost touched the floor.

'But you can't tell anyone about it, okay?'

Blinky looked a little hesitant and threaded her fingers together, 'Missy Hermy, what is it?'

'Well.. can you get me a bottle of Firewhisky.. please?' Hermione begged.

Blinky really didn't want to but her nature demanded it of her and so acquiesced albeit very reluctantly.

'Remember, Blinky. You mustn't tell anyone.'

She left the kitchens and climbed up the stairs coming to a halt before the door to Sirius' room.

She rapped onto it lightly and waited. When Sirius didn't respond she knocked again but there was still no movement from within.

She sighed and muttered a quick, 'Alohomora!'

Entering the room she saw that the curtains had been draped across the large French windows and the room was drowning in darkness.

As her eyes adjusted to the dark, she found Sirius sprawled onto his bed, his head resting on his arms as he stared at the ceiling.

She moved to sit beside him.

Hermione squeezed his hand, 'You don't have to explain. We're family here. We understand.'

Sirius looked pleadingly at Hermione, 'He's always listened to you. Will you talk to him? Please? Reggie's .. he's getting so far away from me.'

Hermione leaned into his side, hugging him lightly, 'What happened?'

'Mother wants me to join him. That pathetic Dark Lord she keeps on preaching. Apparently he likes to herd the young lot. How ridiculous! I'd personally go for the wisened wizard, myself.'

He snorted, 'I know I've stuck for this long but I can't do this. This is.. unacceptable. I've tried to make things work but I cannot .. will not give up on my beliefs. If I'm going to be fighting this war I'll be fighting for the right side.'

Hermione looked at him, her eyes brimming with emotions Sirius couldn't name. Here he was, nothing more than a fifteen year old boy so excited at the prospect of war when one day he could very easily lose everything.

When one day he really had.

'But if I refuse.. the responsibility will fall in his hands. Bella made that very clear last night when she visited.' He whispered, broken. 'He's my little brother. I'm supposed to take care of him, not push him into such jarring situations.'

'You need to think about yourself too, Sirius. You'd be killing yourself if you signed up. You could never hurt an innocent soul. You don't have it in you.'

'And what about Reg?' He asked, propping himself on his elbows. 'Does he? If I run away from this.. she'll turn him. Once and for all. I can already sense the growing darkness in him. He's gotten so..'

'Your brother is strong. You can't make his choices. He will have to take his decisions for himself.'

'But he doesn't know right from the wrong! He's a child!' Sirius yelled.

'No more than you.' Hermione whispered. 'You are nothing more than a child yourself. You have to stop beating yourself for his actions. I understand your need to protect him. I know your loyalty knows no bounds but do you honestly have it in you to take the Dark Mark? Will you ever be able to live with yourself if you did?'

Sirius remained quiet, listening to the sounds of her breathing.

'Here, I got you this.' Hermione dropped the liquor onto his lap.

He smirked, 'Look at that, you've been tainted by the company you keep, Miss Lestrange,' he uncorked the bottle and gulped down huge amounts that Hermione could never even dream of attempting.

He slumped into the bedspread and laughed humourlessly. 'I hate them. I hate that sodding fellow. As soon as I get out of Hogwarts I'm signing up to be an Auror. I'll get as many of those pricks as I can. Turn them to Azkaban and see them getting their soul sucked.'

Hermione winced at the memory of a much older Sirius, with eyes so haunted it could make any man quiver in fear, lying half dead as a Dementor hovered over him, his soul a pearly white in the darkness.


	27. Chapter 27

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Sirius raced James to the treehouse early next morning. Hermione and Remus followed at a lesiurely pace as Peter kept stopping to admire the scenic beauty of the forest very much like he had the last time, watching every tiny little bird flutter its wings at him and fly away, chirping to the sun.

'You lose!' James yelled, climbing into the little house.

Sirius huffed as he drew the strap of the bag around him and used its weight to push into James' back.

'Hey, what was that for?!'

Sirius laughed, 'You lose!'

'No, you do!'

'So do not!'

Peter shook his head and separated the two boys breathing down each other's face.

'Stop fighting, you lot.' He snickered, 'Two Gryffindors turning their backs on each other. You're bringing dishonour to Minnie.'

'Well, look at yourself. You'd obviously be this cheery since Dorcas agreed to go out with you.' Sirius grumbled.

James remarked, 'If only everyone of us was as lucky you are, Pete.'

The Maruaders chuckled and each took a seat around the little table in the kitchenette. Hermione called onto Blinky who served all sorts of sweets to the boys.

'Master Remy must eat. Always looking so frail. The wind could blow poor Master away if it tried.' Blinky fussed, placing more and more eclairs on Remus' plate.

Sirius cried, 'I told you! There's just something with all the elves. They just coddle him up, you know?'

Hermione smiled, 'He deserves to be coddled. He's the most charming marauder. The kindest and the sweetest.'

Sirius and James looked affronted as Peter barked out laughing. 'Remus, charming? My arse!'

James asked, 'Blinky, can you make us some copcorn like the muggles do? I read about it in a magazine but Mum hasn't got around to trying it yet.'

Blinky answered, 'Master Jamesie I is not sure what is copcorn.'

Hermione corrected, 'Its popcorn, James. Blinky, it's a Muggle snack. Will you be able to manage it?'

Blinky nodded her head excitedly, 'Of course, Missy Hermy. Blinky will have Tumble look into some Muggle cookbooks. Anything for small Missy and Masters.'

Peter chimed in, 'Well if we're going Muggle can we also have some marshmallows and some soda?'

Sirius jumped up, 'Oh and those tiny things.. Remus, what are those blue round things called?'

Remus shook his head fondly, 'They're called macaroons, Sirius.'

Sirius said, 'Aha, yes those too Blinky, please!'

Blinky clapped her hands and vanished appearing not ten minutes later with all the food as Coby, a new elf, helped her.

'Thank you so much, Blinky and Coby!' The kids chorused and dug in.

James mumbled contentedly, 'Ah, this is heavenly. Muggles have got their food right.'

They spent the entire day playing chess and exploding snap, once even leaving for a small lake canopied by tall oak trees for a dip into its waters.

When they returned and had dressed back into dry clothes, Hermione moved to one of the loveseats. 'So what did you guys want to show me?'

The boys broke into huge grins and suddenly settled down onto the floor around her.

Dusk had already set in. A faint smell of cinnamon and orange lingered in the air.

Sirius proudly proclaimed, 'What we are going to show you is our top most secret. We've been working on it since day one when Remus here kept grumbling about having trouble finding his way around Hogwarts.'

Remus nodded, 'Since you're an honorary Marauder anyway we figured you should know.'

Hermione smiled to herself. She knew what they were going on about.

Peter pulled out from his backpocket a faded piece of parchment and said, 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.'

The boys all laughed as Hermione's surprised face broke into a smile. Schooling her expression into that of complete astonishment, she ooh'd and aah'd in all the right places.

'This is extremely advanced magic, boys. How did you manage it?'

James puffed out his chest in pride. 'Well, like we said Remus came up with the idea of a map. Then I thought if we were making one we should probably do it better than anyone ever could. After researching for an entire year we had discovered how to track people's movements inside a fixed perimeter. Sirius and Remus began on the Charmwork as Peter cast all the complex location spells. As for me, I oversaw the entire thing and designed the entire layout.'

Hermione was truly awed at witnessing their brilliance first hand. She only hoped the boys would one day present the map to Harry with equal fervour. That would certainly make him very happy.

'This is just brilliant! But all these secret passageways..?'

Peter grinned, 'We've been exploring since the day we arrived here.'

'You boys truly are something.'

She then looked expectantly at James, Sirius and Peter as Remus folded the map and put it aside.

Catching her eye James nodded nervously.

The three boys stood up as Remus looked on, confused.

'What is it?'

James stepped forward and took the lead, 'Remus, you are one of our best friends.' He winked, 'You are the true brains behind the infamous Marauder extraordinaire.'

The others laughed.

'We have also been working on another little project since second year.'

Sirius took it from there, 'We know how hurt you come back in after each full moon and you can't imagine how painful it is to watch you so weakened and distraught every month as you go inside the Shack all alone. So we decided we would put an end to it.'

The three boys nodded at each other and before Remus could say anything, in their place stood a majestic stag, a large black dog and a squeaking rat.

Remus looked uncertainly at Hermione who held his hand and hugged him lightly.

Putting her arm around his shoulders and leaning into his side, she said, 'A werewolf can't hurt other animals, remember? That includes Animagi. They want to accompany you each night so you don't suffer alone.'

Remus didn't say a word. He broke down, silent tears tracing his cheeks, and fell into a heap onto the floor.

The boys turned back into their human form and hugged him tight. Hermione looked on, suddenly uncertain about her presence but was soon comforted when James pulled her into their tiny circle.

Remus croaked out, 'You would be risking your lives and Merlin knows how many housepoints every month.'

James laughed out, 'Come Moony, we don't care about the points. And no, we won't be risking our lives. You won't hurt us.'

Remus whispered into the still air, 'But what if I do? I couldn't live with myself knowing I had harmed you or even.. killed you..'

Peter said very seriously, 'Stop that, Remus. We didn't just decide on doing this in a day. It wasn't done on a whim. We know the risk. We are willing to take it.'

Sirius added, 'For you.'

Remus enveloped his friends and breathed in. This was his pack. This was his family. And they loved him.

He smiled at them and commented, 'Animagi.. is that what the entire deal with your vow of silence was. I knew it was bull especially when you hadn't included me. You guys are idiots!'

Sirius placed a hand across his chest, 'You wound me, Moony. Hurting us so when we were only doing it for your poor heart.'

Remus shoved him lightly as the boys made their way down.

Hermione soon followed and smiled when she saw their huge eyes devouring every little detail of the forest around them.

'Papa says the forest comes to life at night.' This is where the Room had drawn its inspiration from.

The fairies were twinkling around as the chill of the night fanned across their faces. The sounds of cicadas met their ears. The silver petals of flowers luminous against the velvety dew soaked ground. A faint mist had begun to wrap around the trees, stood tall with an amber glow around them.

'He never allows me to come here during Beltane. The forest is known to transform into a gateway to the other world. The magic is said to be centered around a very old tree in the right middle of the forest.'

Sirius whistled, 'That is going to be our next adventure.'

James nodded, 'Definitely. We're going looking for the tree next year, 'Mi. Its highly disappointing you kept it from us all this time.'

Hermione cortled as she led the way back home. 'I have spent days looking for it. I haven't once found it.'

'You had been looking alone.' Remus commented, 'We could find it when we looked for it together.'

Peter aimed a twig at James' back and turjed promptly into a rat and ran away from him. James bounded onto his feet, transforming into a stag once again, nipping at the rat as Remus laughed at the sight.

The boys had somehow gotten farther away from her when she felt Sirius creep up behind her.

'This is a beautiful place, 'Mi. How do you manage to stay indoors when every night such magic comes knocking at your door?'

Hermione chuckled as she waded through the shrubbery, 'It was a great delight when I first found out but in the years when I had.. I wasn't entirely inclined towards the more scenic aspect of nature. My mind was cluttered with things that.. I couldn't quite run away from.'

Sirius nodded as if understanding the very core of her being.

They jumped over fallen wooden logs. They had almost reached the edge of the forest and could easily make out the vague outlines of the three boys up ahead entering the Manor grounds.

Sirius stopped mid step and grabbed Hermione's hand, gently turning her around.

Sirius couldn't find the words to tell her what he was feeling in that moment as he looked at the soft glow of her face. Her brows puckered in thought as her teeth bit her lip. Her eyes held his gaze as the moonlight bathed the two in its soothing presence.

Sirius faltered for a second and without thinking, he brought down his lips against her. He felt her stiffen for the smallest second before he felt her give in to him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling gently onto the strands of his hair as she nibbled onto his lips lightly.

As he cupped her cheek he felt her shiver and lean into his touch, almost melting into his warm embrace.

He broke apart and whispered, 'Mi, I..'

But whatever words he had found the courage to say were lost as she stepped up on her toes and pulled him back towards herself.

She was gentle and slow. Deepening the kiss as he groaned softly, low in his throat, she moved her hand across his chest, fleeling him suck in a sharp breath at her touch.

Rubbing his thumb against her jaw, Sirius traced her cheekbone eliciting the softest of moans from her. Gasping for air the two looked deep into each other's eyes, seeking something that was entirely their own.

Hermione couldn't deny it any longer.

Not when he leaned his forehead against her, their heartbeats synchronised as a divine silence fell around the two. She acquiesced to the pull she had felt towards him as an ethereal feeling devoured her. Her hands faltered as she dropped a feather light kiss against his knuckles.

That was the last thing she remembered before a tear slipped out her eye and she ran away from him, into the darkness of the night thinking about how it had felt like a stolen moment out of somebody else's life as she had kissed him. Her heart thudded against her chest when she closed her eyes and willed her mind to push the image of his heartbroken face away.

She couldn't do this to him.. wrap him up so intricately in her life when she knew the day was near when she would have to give in to her destiny and step away from any lingering bliss she felt.

She knew she loved him.

She had for some time now. She had pleaded with her mind. She had spent sleepless nights thinking about the guilt that shadowed her every time she thought about Sirius for her heart ached at the mere mention of someone who wasn't Ron. But she knew she had moved on. As much as she felt she was betraying her best friend she couldn't keep lying to herself any longer. She had fought herself day and night but the truth was so glaringly obvious.

Ron would always be her first love but what she had found with Sirius was so much more potent in its rawness.

But she couldn't do this. Not now. She couldn't break his heart.

She would soon join Tom to decimate him from within and Sirius would take up a pivotal role in the Order. Nobody would know the sacrifice Hermione would make.. giving her soul away to Voldemort to save the world from his clutches.

Sirius would never know.

She was already on her way to damnation but she wouldn't drag him there with her.

She would spare him the heartache that came from loving someone who stood on the opposite side of the battlefield from you.


	28. Chapter 28

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Hermione stood with Lily, watching Rab erect wards around the Evans property. Lily had very humbly requested the duo to visit only a week after the day at the treehouse.

Lily exclaimed, 'Thank you so much, Hermione. I read such terrifying news every day in the paper and it makes my skin crawl. I had contacted the Auror Department but you know what's it like with the government.'

Hermione nodded in sympathy, 'Don't worry. Rab was free this weekend. He was glad to be of help.'

Lily smiled at her friend. She led the two siblings inside after Rab had finished casting protective spells around the house.

Hermione watched in glee as Rab walked into the Muggle household. He almost seemed fearful of everything around him despite which his eyes seemed to bulge at every peculiar little thing like satiating a child's curiosity.

Rab shot her a dirty look as a hearty chuckle escaped her lips.

'I've cast some basic wards along with some Lestrange family spells too.' Rab said cordially. 'They should be able to hold off or at least warn me of any intruders. But let's hope it doesn't come to that.'

Lily nodded gravely, 'Thank you so much, Mr Lestrange. You have no idea how worried I had been.'

Hermione squeezed Lily's hand, 'Well, you can stop worrying now.'

Lily inquired, 'Would you like a cup of tea? Or some fresh juice? Mum and Dad won't be home till dusk what with my sister's wedding preparations but I could fix you something.'

Rab shook his head politely, 'You need not worry yourself. In fact if you are alone you might as well come along and have dinner with us tonight.'

'That's very kind of you, Mr Lestrange but I couldn't leave the house empty. Perhaps next time.'

He bowed curtly and turned to his sister, 'I shall wait outside for you, Mi.'

Hermione smiled and held her friend's hands as Rab left through the front door. 'Lily, if ever there is a need, write to me.'

'Well you could tell me what you did with your teeth. I wouldn't mind mending mine.'

Hermione winced internally. She had gotten up one day during the middle of the school year and had remained unaware of the sudden change in her body. But when Lily observed how something was different, it hadn't taken more than a minute for Hermione to realise that her body had adjusted itself to how it had looked at a given age. Her fourth year had been when Draco had cursed her leading to Madame Pomfrey correcting her enlarged teeth.

She had been horrified at the prospect of acquiring all her scars again but had decided she'd cross that particular bridge when she came to it. The scars yet to appear on her body would be quite the thing to explain.

Forcing her lips to lift into a smile, she muttered, 'I don't see anything to be mended. You are perfect, honestly. It should be a crime to have everything going for you.'

Hermione kissed Lily's cheek and left to find Rab.

The two Apparated away to the manor grounds and removing their cloaks, made their way inside.

Rab leaned against the door and watched as Hermione began to trudge up the stairs.

'Mi?', he called out.

She turned around and raised a brow, 'Yes?'

'Why don't you sit with me till Papa arrives?'

Hermione bit her lip and joined Rab in the library. She perused the shelves for something that might interest her. Reaching the section on Ancient Runes, she picked out what seemed like a children's story book.

She sighed. It would make for good practice on translation.

Rab had chosen a book on the wizarding world's changing economy and had settled into a settee, a goblet of the finest elvish wine in his hand.

When Hermione chose to seat herself on the floor, he regarded her with careful eyes. He saw the slight droop of her lips and the frown on her forehead.

'I've been seeing you, Mi. You've been upset this past week.'

Hermione gasped and looked up to see Rab staring down at her worriedly.

'Oh, it's nothing. You shouldn't concern yourself.' She added cheekily, 'Especially now that you have an entire empire to run.'

Rab chuckled goodnaturedly, 'That's besides the point. Does it have anything to do with Sirius having left without even saying goodbye to you the other day?'

Hermione cursed her stars and nodded reluctantly. There was no point hiding. Rab would figure it out eventually.

'I thought so.' He laughed, 'My sister's having boy trouble.'

She looked at him sharply and glared. 'So what if I am?'

'Why don't you tell me what happened and we can figure out something? Just tell me who's to blame.' He waggled his eyebrows, 'If he hurt you I can show him some of the skills I've acquired.'

Hermione smiled, 'Nah, he didn't hurt me. I think I did.'

Rab stayed silent, letting Hermione open up to him of her own accord.

'We may have shared a kiss. And then.. I might have.. run away.'

Rab winced, 'Perfect way to completely crash a bloke's ego.' He chuckled, 'But why would you run away? You've liked him for years!'

Hermione looked at him, shocked. She sputtered, 'What.. whatever do you mean? I haven't liked him for years.'

'You can lie to yourself but I'm not blind. Everyone can see the two of are you besotted with each other. It's rather funny actually. Even the old hag Walburga sees it. However, don't let Papa know.. he might love that boy but its still not entirely respectable for a pureblood lady to go around kissing boys.'

She scoffed, 'They are such archaic beliefs.' She paused, 'I didn't even have the opportunity to apologise. I can't be with him, Rab.'

He frowned, 'What's stopping you?

Hermione chose to keep her mouth shut.

He prodded, 'He will listen to you. If you're worried that he won't wish to speak with you again, you shouldn't be. I'm willing to bet he's just waiting for you to clear things up.'

Hermione laughed, 'This is so strange. You're giving me advice on a boy.'

Rab commented, 'Papa was almost ready to plan for a betrothal between you and the Oakswood boy. I had to intervene on your behalf and make him see how a certain Black heir may not feel very good about it.'

Hermione blushed and looked away.

'Perhaps you just need time.'

_Time_ , Hermione thought bitterly. That is exactly what she had bargained for when coming to this life. But not so she could romance a boy.

She nodded, 'Perhaps that is what I shall ever need.'

*

Hermione had once again flooed to Hogsmeade and trudged up the long path to Hogwarts in her brother's company.

She had waited in the Great Hall for the rest of the students to arrive from the train station.

When the Hall was overcome with excited chatter, Hermione turned to Severus.

'How was your summer?'

Severus hummed, 'As good as it could be with my father back at home.'

She nodded at him with sympathy. 'No potions programme this time? You've been attending one every summer.'

Severus seemed to ponder over how much to reveal, 'I.. I don't think I can afford it anymore.'

'Why don't you apply for some scholarships? We're taking our OWLs this year. You could get into a correspondence programme with some good institute. They would cover your finances for the next three years with the promise of a brilliant addition to their student body.'

'I have been looking into some. I'm not entirely sure, however.'

'Well, whatever you choose I'm sure you'll make the best of it.'

Hermione had tried to find Sirius after the feast but had failed. She could see Peter exiting the Hall with Meadowes on his side, making their way towards the Gryffindor Tower.

'Peter!' She called out.

Peter stopped in his tracks and graced her with a huge smile.

'Hi, Hermione! How are you?'

'I'm well, thank you.' She even smiled timidly at the girl who merely looked away, displeasure at the colour of Hermione's robes quite clear on her face. 'Do you know where Sirius is?'

Peter frowned, 'Oh yes well Remus has been made a prefect so he's out for patrols. And since James is the new Quidditch Captain he couldn't quite contain his excitement and decided to hold a meeting right after the feast.'

Hermione chuckled.

'Sirius just tagged along with him.' He grumbled, 'Leaving me alone to fend off for myself.' He then looked at his girlfriend, 'However, I now have better company than I could ever hope for with the blokes.'

Hermione nodded and thanked him. 'Well, alright then. I'll see you tomorrow?'

Peter grinned and left, threading his fingers with those of Meadowes'.

Thoroughly disheartened by then, Hermione slowly walked down the stairs and into the cold dungeons. However long it had been, she still wasn't quite used to the dreariness of the Slytherin common room.

Greeting her housemates, she ran to her dormitories and grabbed a pair of her nightclothes.

Looking at her reflection in the mirror she was once again faced with her altered appearance.

Same brown eyes and the same bushy, yet a little more tamed, curly hair. But her teeth were different. They looked as they did in her past life.

Sighing, she stepped into the shower and let the water run over the knots of tension in her back.

She closed her eyes and rid her mind of any unbidden thoughts about Sirius. She wasn't here to chase after a boy. She would have to get over herself.

She was here to win a war.


	29. Chapter 29

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

It had been more than a month and Sirius was still ever so elusive. It had taken her one entire week to realise it was the Map. Because of course he had resorted to such childishness. He was using the Map to run away from her every time she tried to corner him.

It wasn't as if they hadn't talked to each other at all. They did. In classes and in corridors but always in the presence of the other Marauders. Sirius always maintained a normal conversation with her at each time but she knew something was amiss. She knew he was hurt but she had no idea how to fix it.

She found herself sitting beside Remus once again after the full moon. It had been the boys' first night together in the Shack.

'Did everything go okay?' she asked.

James grinned, 'Wonderfully so. Moony loves Padfoot, both being canines. The size lets him okay with Prongs. As for Wormtail, other than his job at the Whomping Willow roots, he helps provide crucial entertainment.'

Peter chuckled and struck his friend's arm in fun.

Sirius whistled, 'Moony's just been lonely. Look at yourself, Remus. Hardly any scars.'

Remus nodded shyly, 'Thank you.. everyone.. I've never felt this good after a transformation. It almost seems bearable even though I lose my mind and hardly have control over myself.'

Hermione scolded herself internally, cursing herself for not having learnt how to brew the Wolfsbane Potion.

Sirius laughed, 'Perhaps we can prevent any further scars on your pretty face, after all. You might just be able to keep your youth forever. Now, of course poor Prongsie isn't so lucky. His face is already shrivelling up.'

James looked outraged and immediately sought his reflection in a mirror on the bedside table. He cried out, 'They're just laughter lines, Padfoot!'

The boys laughed and Hermione silently slipped out, letting them revel in each other's company.

She made her way to the library and seeing her usual seat being used by some young Ravenclaws and Hufflepuff, moved to look for another secluded part in the ancient hall.

Finding a perfect spot she saw the frame of an incredibly tall boy sitting on one corner of the table she was aiming at.

She cleared her throat and requested, 'Excuse me, may I please sit with you? Everywhere else is full.'

The boy looked up and Hermione gasped at the familiar dark skin and the onyx eyes that stared into hers.

The boy smiled politely and said, 'I don't mind. I'm Kingsley Shacklebolt. Sixth year.'

Hermione nodded, flabbergasted and taken completely by surprise. Breaking out of her reverie she pulled out her books from her pack and unrolled a scroll of parchment she was working on.

She settled down and introduced herself, 'It's so strange. Four years and I'd have thought I'd at least know all my housemates if not the entire student body. I believe I've never met you before.'

Kingsley nodded and continued writing in his journal, 'I understand. I'm usually ignored in the Slytherin common room. My blood status may provide me some immunity to their racism but since my views on the issue aren't synchronised with theirs they usually spare me no second glances.'

His emerald robes were certainly something she couldn't have ever imagined. 'I know what you mean. It must get lonely though. Hardly anyone in Slytherin shares a neutral opinion.'

Kingsley hummed under his breath as he worked and without taking his eyes off of his journal he replied, 'I find it rather agreeable. Of course they label me as a traitor but the isolation lets me get on with my work without any hassle. Besides there are some who sometimes make for intellectual company. However the last Zabini member passed out three years ago. Its been a little lonely since.'

Hermione grinned cheekily, 'It's alright. You've found me now.'

She heard him elicit a deep throaty chuckle and saw him shake his head, 'It's a pleasure making your acquaintance too.'

The two worked in silence as dusk fell and were interrupted hours later by the arrival of Reggie who shook Hermione's shoulder and asked her if she'd like to walk back to the dungeons with him.

Hermione waved a hand at Kingsley before she followed Reggie out.

Reggie said, 'We haven't had the opportunity to catch up in a while.'

Hermione nodded, 'You're right.' Reminded of the conversation she'd had with Sirius during the summer she commented, 'You never come visit anymore, Reggie. Papa has been asking about you.'

'Yes.. I suppose I don't.' He pondered for a while and added as an afterthought, 'Father has been training me. He understands Sirius is the heir but since he doesn't always cooperate, Father finds it befitting to teach me the ways of the family ties to the government so I could be of help to my brother one day.'

'That is if your brother decides to take up the role as the Head.'

Reggie exhaled heavily, 'You know he will have to. There's no way even a person of his intellect could break out of the most ancient magic that governs familial ties in the pureblood society.'

Hermione stayed silent, only ever so aware since that that was the sole reason Papa couldn't disown his eldest grandson.

'At least that will keep you away from the current.. politics.' Hermione hoped in vain, trying to gauge how deep he had fallen.

Smiling ruefully, he shook his head, 'Nothing will help me escape. And you know that.'

They had reached the entrance to the Common Room. Muttering the password, Reggie motioned for Hermione to enter.

As she walked towards the girls' dormitories he laid a gentle hand on her arm and muttered, 'And it's Regulus, please.'

Her brows furrowed as she saw him retreat to his own chambers. Her heart broke for the boy.

*

The next morning Hermione sought out the company of Kingsley during breakfast, breaking away from Severus involved in a heated discussion with Mulciber about the best ways possible to extract the truth from an unwilling witch or wizard. Hermione honestly had no appetite to hear children squabble over how Crucioing someone would be enough or if forceful use of Veritaserum would be required too.

She mumbled, 'Good morning. Did you finish taking your notes last night?'

Kingsley looked up in surprise, not expecting anybody to join him. Regaining his senses he nodded slightly, 'Yes, I did.'

She slipped in beside him and filled her plate with some toast and jam. Sipping her pumpkin juice, she fed treats to a Ministry owl who had just delivered the Daily Prophet to her.

She decided to read it in the evening and hurried with her breakfast, excited to get to her classes however repetitive they usually seemed to be for her. Focusing solely on her food she blinked in surprise when she felt a warm hand touch hers.

She looked up into the sympathetic eyes of Kingsley. He whispered, 'You might want to read the news, Hermione.'

Glancing around herself she saw the entirety of the other three houses staring at her with hate filled glares. The Slytherin table, on the other hand, looked at her admiringly with something akin to pride in their eyes as they smirked.

She dropped her toast and opened the newspaper to see the face of her brother looking up at her, an evil glint in his eyes as he laughed maniacally over the body of an innocent woman lying under the Dark Mark hovering above her. Bellatrix stood crushing the woman's heel under her feet.

Bile rose up her throat as she read the headline.

**_The Lestrange Family Openly Picks a Side._ **

_Tipped by concerned neighbours, the Auror Department found itself facing the raging Lestrange couple wreaking havoc through a wizarding village. Mrs Berta Hopkins was found lying in a puddle of her own blood on the evening of October 19, 1975. What has turned out to be a horrifying act against the law has now managed to confirm that Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange have signed away their allegiance to He Who Must Not Be Named. It is only a matter of time before Rabastan Lestrange, currently the acting head of the Lestrange Corporation, and Hermione Lestrange, an extremely gifted witch in her fifth year at Hogwarts, take their place beside their brother and aid the advances of the Death Eaters to instil fear among the common folks and terrorise the world. The seeds of evil are, after all, sown early in the minds of a child. The faithful citizens of Britain can only hope to beg the authorities to lock these miscreants away before they find the opportunity to act on their malicious whims against the innocent. It is baffling to see the Ministry so out of control of the affairs that plague the people. It makes one wonder who really is pulling the strings._

Kingsley said, 'I knew Rabastan when he was still at school. He would never stoop to such inhumane pettiness. Besides, the Ministry can't do anything. These are unjust accusations that can never be proven.'

'I'm not worried about that.. I'm ashamed of what my brother has resorted to. It's true he was always a bigoted pureblood but to see him in the act is gruesome and thoroughly repulsive. I'm ashamed to call him family.'

Tears pooling at the base of her eyes, she heard the gentle voice of her new friend tell her, 'Your family doesn't entirely lay with your blood. You choose a part of it yourself too.'

Hesitantly, she raised her head and looked across the Hall to find a pair of stormy grey eyes seeking her out, assuring her of his unwavering faith in her.

Hermione threw away the newspaper and stormed out of the Great Hall, hundreds of enraged eyes following her movements.


	30. Chapter 30

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Hermione was used to the staring. She had had enough of it in her past life because of all the attention Harry always attracted. But the kind of staring she was being subjected to in her current situation was nothing but hostile.

Ignoring slurs from the major part of the school was becoming cumbersome. Everywhere she went whispered swearing followed. Students would shuffle out of her way and frown upon her with disdain.

One day when Hermione entered the Charms classroom with Severus, a deep silence fell around her. The Gryffindors sat with scowls on their faces while the Slytherins merely smirked.

James had tried to make light of the situation, 'Come now, guys, surely if Hermione did turn out to be one of those loony goons wearing stupid Halloween masks all time of the year, you'd best not be behaving so cold towards her.'

Peter snickered, 'Who knows she might be tempted to hunt you down?'

Sirius had laughed loudly enough for some students to chuckle reluctantly at the girl's expense but Hermione noticed how most of them merely looked away, their glares replaced by an expression of intense terror.

Her face fell and she walked past the Marauders despite Remus trying to catch her eye and apologise for his friends' tactless ways however good willed they may have been.

The Slytherins, however, couldn't stop their gloating and only tended to applaud her, urging her, trying to get in her good graces to perhaps be someday considered for servitude to the Dark Lord too.

Reggie had chosen to ignore everything and treated Hermione just the same as ever. He spared her no pitying glances like she'd have expected him to. She saw in his eyes something she hadn't expected.

Understanding.

Of course Regulus Arcturus Black would understand. He, too, would one day be treated to such hostility from his peers. He, too, would one day be goaded by his friends for how he was lucky to be a Black. But nobody would see how he wished nothing but to run away from the evil that threatened to overpower him.

Hermione had been glad for the small mercies life sometimes awarded her. It placated her immensely to see that Kingsley hadn't shied away from her either despite their friendship having only been a week old. He had shown her unflinching support. She really did wonder how a man of such courage and honour had ended up in the snakepit so far away from the lion's den.

Severus, on the other hand, proved to be a conundrum. He was conflicted whether to be excited at the prospect of his closest ally being portrayed in such a manner which would eventually help him on his way to become a Death Eater or to resent the harsh words that seemed to follow the girl everywhere she went. He might have begin to wonder whether it would be the most prudent choice to look after this best friend, Lily but his fascination towards the Dark Arts couldn't be denied.

Amidst all the chatter that surrounded her, Hermione had chosen to focus on only what her grandfather had written to her.

_Do not worry yourself, dear. I assume you would be garnering quite a bit of heated glances from those around you. Rest assured it shall pass. The purity in your heart will not be tainted by the words of an unscrupulous reporter. Rab has already filed a complaint against the man and has ensured that the Ministry teaches him a right lesson before I get the opportunity to lay my hands on him._

_Do not ever forget your purpose in this world. You could never go down the path similar to what Rodolphus has chosen his life to be. And neither could your brother, Rab._

_I realise the depth of the concern you must be brimming with for the family. No harm shall come to you or to your brother. I may be an old man but I fear nobody. I shall never let anybody get to you whether it be my own blood._

_Have courage. Time shall pass and you will soon find yourself laughing at this ridiculous turn of events._

*

Finding solace in the presence of nature, away from the world, Hermione had sought out her old nook beside the Black Lake where she had once fallen asleep all those years ago.

Looking over at the still water, she felt the storm brewing in the musky air. Snow would surely be adorning the grounds the next morning.

Curling her wrist and conjuring tiny golden birds that fluttered around her head, Hermione closed her eyes and breathed in the fresh air.

The scent of winterwood and faded leather hit her nostrils.

Sirius.

She smiled and looked up into his eyes. 'Hello. Pleasant morning, isn't it?

Sirius grinned widely and shoved her lightly, settling down beside her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

'I told you once I'd protect you from the lecherous sort, Mi.' He pulled out a beautiful white lily from thin air and presented it to her in that stupid chivalrous bow only he could perfect, 'Here I am! Your knight in shining armor!'

Hermione chuckled, 'Didn't realise it would take just a little bullying for you to finally talk to me.'

Sirius looked away in guilt and faltered. 'Listen, I know what people are saying about you. But you don't have to think about it, yeah? You be a goody two shoes like ever and it'll pass soon enough.'

She nodded and leaned into his side, sighing as she felt his presence envelope her and calm her racing heart.

'How did you find me?'

He chortled, 'The Marauders have come to realise this is the place to look for when you can't be found in that wretched old library.'

She struck his arm and stuck out her tongue at him.

He broke out laughing and pinched her cheek gently, 'Aren't you a cheeky litrle brat today?'

'Oh shut up. Where are the others?'

'Kitchens. Try outs got over last Friday. Since we are celebrating the finest Gryffindor Quidditch team in history they're getting some dalring old rum for a party tonight in the Common Room.'

Wrinkling her brow Hermione sniffed the air. 'Wait.. something is wrong.' He smelled a little different. How could she have not noticed before?

She shrieked, 'Have you been smoking, Sirius Orion Black?!'

Raising his arms in defence, he moved away from her, 'It was just a couple of fags. No need to get so testy.'

Shaking her head at him, she made a disgusted face. 'Do you want an early grave? It's vile! Where did you even find one?'

He smirked, 'Remus got me these Muggle magazines where I learned about three very important things.'

'Pray tell,' she deadpanned.

'Motorcycles are a gift from God. Fags are the best release. And a pretty bird in skimpy Muggle suits is entirely too pleasing to the eye.'

Blushing deep red, Hermione stood up and began stomping away to the Great Hall. 'You are an arse.'

Laughing, Sirius ran after her, wrapping his arms around her waist. Holding her at an arm's length, he sobered up and with sincerity etched onto his face, he said, 'Hermione, I know what a family of Death Eaters is like. You are lucky that Rab and Papa are normal blokes. Rodolphus was just the black sheep. Your brother will never allow him to get to you. Neither will he himself fall trap to that bastard's wishes.'

Hermione sighed, 'There are other ways to get someone to do your bidding, Sirius. Sometimes you are forced to do things even when they are the farthest thing from your ideals.'

He frowned, 'What are you trying to say?'

'We're heading to war and you know it. Lestrange family is known for its dabbling with the Dark Arts and so is the Black family. You know as well as I do that the two of us are equally equipped with dark curses as are the Death Eaters even more so given our heritage. A day might come when despite what we wanted we might have to give up our morals and .. join him.'

Sirius let go of her immediately and backed away. 'Hermione. I would never. No matter what happened I would never give in. And neither will you. I won't let you.'

Ignoring the last part of his rant, she said, 'I know you won't. You're far too noble for that.' She pulled onto her hair in annoyance, 'Rodolphus will resort to torture and blackmail to get what he wants. He's made it very clear he wants Rab to join. When the lives of your loved ones are threatened you do unforgivable things.'

Understanding flooded his being and he wrapped her in a tight embrace. Steel gracing his eyes, he hardened his jaw. 'Come what may, I will always be there for you.'

They stood in silence for the longest time after which Hermione reluctantly entangled herself from him. As much as she'd like to stay like that for all of time she knew that she couldn't.

Bracing herself, she said, 'Sirius, about that night when we..'

Sirius interrupted her and began dragging her away excitedly, 'We're late for lunch, Mi. As much as I enjoy your company I have to say I find myself partial to food. I am a growing boy and I need my fair share of it, don't you think? Hey, you want to come with us blokes to Hogsmeade this weekend? I know Papa won't allow it but we could always use the Cloak although..'

Hermione let him chatter away mindlessly as he pulled her along. He did something to her, that boy. She didn't know there had been something missing until he came along. It just felt so right to be with him.

She often wondered how she had missed it when she had met the older Sirius. How could she have not seen it then.

Smiling ruefully, she steadied herself and willed her mind to stop pondering over all the what ifs in life.

But alas her will wasn't to be. Her heart betrayed her as it thudded violently against her chest and sought comfort in the warmth that emanated from his grasp on her hand, all her worries suddenly vanished for the time being.


	31. Chapter 31

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

The weekend before the Christmas holidays were to commence gryffindor won its first match of the season against Hufflepuff.

James was elated as all his housemates ran to him onto the pitch and congratulated him on his first win as the captain.

As for Hermione, she chose to silently cheer sitting beside Kingsley in the Slytherin stands full of grumbling students.

'I don't understand the fascination with Quidditch, honestly.' Hermione commented, while on their way back to the dungeons.

Kingsley chuckled, 'It's only the most exhilarating sport. I bet you're afraid of flying.'

She smirked, 'On a broom.'

Raising an eyebrow, Kingsley grumbled, 'I do regret never having tried out before. Now I'm so close to my NEWTs it'd seem like I was betraying my books.'

They heard someone laugh behind them and turned around to find Remus and Peter jogging towards the pair.

Peter heaved, 'Hey, you want to come to the Common Room and join the party?'

Kingsley looked at him as if he was the strangest creature in the whole wide world whereas Hermione merely seemed to be fixed to her spot, not believing the ridiculous idea coming out of her friend's mouth.

'Are you quite well, Pete?' she asked.

Remus laughed, 'Don't look at us like that. Seriously. Come join us. You too, Shacklebolt.'

Appraising the two Gryffindors before him, Kingsley turned to Hermione, 'They're trying to prank us, right?'

Shrugging she said, 'It would be a very sick joke if they were. But since the invitation is coming from Remus I might just believe the sincerity behind their gesture.'

Kingsley turned towards the two boys, 'As much as you'd like us to come, your housemates will surely have something to say to you if we did.'

Peter huffed, 'We know what we're getting into. Come on, Mi. It'll be fun.'

The two Slytherins seemed to have a silent conversation, looking resolutely into each other's eyes.

Kingsley nodded his head albeit a little reluctantly but followed the two nonetheless.

Hermione didn't need them to show her the way to the Tower. Her feet guided her along of their own accord. Now that she would finally get to be where her heart had begged her to go the very first day she had arrived at the castle, she was overcome with giddiness and a childish excitement.

Reaching the Fat Lady, Remus whispered the password. The portrait swung open to let the children inside.

Holding her breath, Hermione entered the spacious Common Room behind Remus and Peter and felt something pull her, drawing her deeper.

Smelling the rich cinnamon and the burning wood, Hermione sighed. She looked around herself and found the same cozy red couch lying haphazardly in the middle of the room and the fireplace glimmering with the embers of the flame.

She peered over the throng of cheering Gryffindors to find her place. Hers and Harry's and Ron's. A pang of nostalgia hit her as she saw the crimson drapes wrapping around the walls of the circular room.

Right before the fireplace was now sat an exhuberant James beside Sirius regaling his audience with the tale of how he heroically won them the day's match. She smiled to herself, thinking of how his son had often sought comfort in the very same spot.

But before she could walk over to them to greet them, she saw how the crowd instantly quietened and a tension filled air surrounded them.

A tension so thick Hermione felt sweat prickle down her back.

She slid closer to Kingsley as she faced the angry lions sneering at the emerald robed students.

A short, brown haired girl yelled, 'What are you doing here?'

Before Hermione could cut her off with a scathing remark, Kingsley gently replied, 'We were invited.'

The girl scowled and opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by Remus who drew to his full height and towered over her. 'I brought them. Just the way you deemed it fit to invite your friend Lovegood. There are plenty of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs here. My friends are no different.'

A black haired boy Hermione had never seen before stepped forward and scoffed, 'But none of them here are Death Eater scum.'

Before James or Sirius could even raise their wands or Peter could try to pull Hermione and Kingsley away from the hubub and towards the side, Lily Evans had materialised from the farthest corner and had packed the boy with a solid punch, the sound of which resounded throughout the room.

A couple of seventh years looked outraged, possibly the boy's friend.

Lily glared at anybody who dared look her in the eye, 'A Death Eater would never help a muggleborn such as me. Hermione here brought her brother to my house... A Muggle house to help protect my family. A Muggle family no Death Eater would ever spare a second glance.'

Most of the Gryffindors had the decency to look away in shame.

'Her brother Rabastan Lestrange helped me when not even the Ministry did. If it wasn't for him my family would probably have been killed a long time ago. And everybody here knows of Kingsley. I myself have sought him out to help me study plenty of times. So you better well back off or you will personally be inviting me to hex you into oblivion.'

The crowd slowly broke away and fell into its earlier mess. The exicted chatter once again rose and Hermione gratefully hid herself in a corner. She found Kingsley looking at her, asking her if she wished to leave.

But she truly didn't. Despite the open hostility, Hermione would never give up the one chance she had at being home. For however briefly the moment lasted.

Lily grabbed her hand gently and pulled her to a group of girls sitting by a window to the left. Hermione looked apologetically at Kingsley who didn't seem to mind in the slightest, having himself fallen into a deep conversation with a very amiable Xenophilius Lovegood and James.

'Come, let me introduce you to my friends.'

She pointed at a short round girl, 'This here is Alice.'

Alice smiled warmly at her and got up to hug her briefly. 'Don't worry. Not everyone here thinks you're a hellspawn.'

Hermione laughed hesitantly and turned to the blonde haired Marlene McKinnon Lily was now pointing at. Her striking features could put anybody to shame.

'I don't know where Dorcas is. Probably off snogging Peter. And I suppose Mary is still getting some more chocolate for Remus from the kitchens.'

Hermione raised a brow and Lily muttered to her conspiratorially, 'She has a huge crush on him. But don't tell him.'

Not trusting herself enough to maintain composure Hermione chose to sit on the most uncomfortable chair in the common room despite her temptations to seek out her own loveseat.

Alice commented, 'You have beautiful hair, Hermione. Have you done something to them? I remember it used to be really bushy.'

It was a pleasant change to hear someone calling her out on her bushy hair without any bite. 'I reckon it just turned silky as I grew up.' It had happened the last time she was fifteen too. 'I read somewhere your hair keeps changing as you age. I believe it was a Muggle research paper that cited the effect of hormonal changes that result in such alterations.'

The girls seemed mildly surprised.

Marlene said, 'Wow, you read Muggle stuff? I didn't think you could. I mean.. aren't pureblood families big on staying away from them?'

She shook her head, 'Not all of them. My family doesn't have the best reputation but my grandfather has always been different. He has let me pursue any interests that I may have. Wizard kind or not.'

Marlene smiled sadly, 'That's nice to know. We need as much good we can find in the world in these times.'

Lily interrupted, 'Enough with the serious talks. How do you like the Common Room? How's it different from yours? I've only ever seen Hufflepuff's apart from ours.'

Hermione laughed, 'Trust me, if you saw the Slytherin Common Room you wouldn't blame us for our sour moods all the time. Living beneath the lake in perpetual cold and darkness has a way of getting to you.'

Alice gushed, 'You live beneath the lake? That's wicked!'

'Aah yes it is but only when the Giant Squid makes an appearance. We have this gallery off to a side where we can see all sorts of creatures. The Merpeople rarely visit but when they do it makes for an interesting evening.'

Marlene excused herself when she felt someone tap her on her shoulder.

Hermione looked up to see her leave with another blonde haired girl.

Lily shook her head and said, 'She'll be back soon.'

Alice urged Hermione to go on. 'It definitely is better up here. All warm and cozy. It's so close to home I might just never wish to leave.' She said sadly.

They were joined by James and Remus soon after.

James grumbled, 'I just found out Ravenclaw Tower is taller than ours by an inch. How cruel is that?'

The girls laughed as Remus patted him on the back soothingly, 'Don't worry mate. Maybe we can take our brooms up to the top after the holidays and hoist a tiny little flag to make ours taller.'

James looked at him and kissed him full on the mouth to the glee of those around him. 'Moony, my friend, you are the most brilliant man ever!'

Remus looked embarrassed and muttered, 'I didn't mean it literally.'

Hermione felt Sirius sidle up next to her, 'What's this, Prongs? Remus is the most brilliant, eh?'

Alice laughed at the expression James made, as if he had been caught carrying out treason.

Remus butted in, 'Dont worry. He still loves you the best.' Turning to the girls with a mischievous glint in his eyes, he revealed, 'These two idiots shared the same bed for the first two years, did you know?'

Sirius cried out, 'James had night terrors! You're a traitor, Moony!'

James blushed beet red as Lily laughed at the whole ordeal. 'Aww James, I didn't take you for the cuddly type.'

Remus chortled, 'You should have seen them. Completely wrapped around each other.'

James and Sirius grumbled and left the group to their devices.

They were shortly joined by a tall brown haired boy with the cutest dimples Hermione had ever seen. Frank Longbottom. He sat down Indian style next to his girlfriend, pecking her softly on the lips.

Hermione smiled at the blushing girl.

Frank handed around the goblets filled with butterbeer he had levitated over to the group. 'Hullo! I don't think we've been introduced. I'm Frank!'

Hermione nodded, 'Pleasure to meet you. You're on the team, right? Congratulations!'

Frank puffed out his chest in pride and snuggled deeper into Alice. Seeing them talking to each other and stealing glances made Hermione just a tad bit sad. She looked at their faces and was reminded of their older versions she had come across in St Mungo's. She was reminded of the brutal way their son's body had been paraded around in front of the wizarding kind. Feeling the floodgates almost open she excused herself.

'It's getting rather late. I think I should be getting back now. Thank you so much for inviting me here, you guys.' She beamed. 'It was wonderful meeting you lot. Goodnight!'

She was met with groans and requests of staying a while longer, but quickly turning them down as politely as she could, she walked away and let her eye wander around looking for any sign of Kingsley.

Seeing him standing next to a pretty girl she decided she would leave him be. Catching his eye, she waved at him and began to make her way out. Once at the portrait hole she turned around and took in the scene before her one last time, burning the image of the bustling room in the depths of her mind.

Thinking of a similar party so many years ago, Hermione walked away with lead in her feet, utterly distraught at being lonely. Again.

Where in the world was Harry?

Exiting the Common Room she turned to her right and began making her way to the dungeons. Before she could turn around the bend she fell upon the most painful sight.

Right in front of her, under a partly hidden alcove stood Sirius showering Marlene with passionate kisses all along her lithe neck and pressing his lips onto hers.

Hermione let out a sharp exhale and felt a lone tear slide down her face as Sirius looked up at her in surprise.

Looking away, Hermione hurried along feeling seeds of humiliation being sown in her mind.

Perhaps, she hadn't needed to spend all those hours trying to corner him and apologise after all.


	32. Chapter 32

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Christmas had brought with it a gentle reprieve for Hermione. The week following the party with the Gryffindors had been filled with sickening displays of affection between Sirius and Marlene which hadn't annoyed Hermione in the least but caused her a deep ache she hadn't felt in a very long time. It had been Sirius this time around who kept trying to get her to talk to him. But Hermione wouldn't have any of it. It was better this way.

She had truly believed he felt something for her too. How could anyone have faked such a look of complete heartbreak like he had had on his face the night she had left running away from him.

A nasty voice inside her head kept telling her she had been nothing but another conquest for a charmer like Sirius. She had been a fool to give away her heart to him. And yet another part inside her told her it wasn't his fault anyway. Hermione was never meant to be here. She didn't belong. Sirius was meant to be with another. Meant to love another.

Not her. Not Hermione, a misfit. A lonely little girl in a world she could never call home.

Her desperation was driving her over to the edge. She hoped against hope to see Harry. The deepest part of her mind had slowly begun to dismantle the roots of her faith in him turning up and this kept tearing her up day after day. The need to see him had consumed her.

The holidays weren't all that special. She had spent Christmas Eve with her family dining the most delicious delicacies she had ever tasted.

Truly, the house eleves kept outdoing themselves with every passing feast.

She had spent the better half of her holidays cooped up in her hidden library where she had once again flung herself into research. She had practiced various new spells, sometimes with Papa helping her too.

Being with Papa had consoled her to a great extent. Being with him rekindled something within her. The love he had for her could simply not be a lie. It was there and living proof of her existence.

But the nagging voice inside her never did quieten.

A few of days before school was to begin, Peter dropped by for a little while. The duo listlessly passed away the time in their treehouse by themselves.

'Definitely not a good idea to spend a winter morning in the middle of a forest.'

Hermione chortled, 'You never were the smartest.'

Peter winked at her, 'Only the handsomest and the fairest!'

He dragged her back to the grounds, 'Mi, you are going to love this.' He said to her, 'I found it in one of those magazines Remus keeps getting for Sirius. Seeing how much you love Muggle stuff I thought you'd enjoy it.'

Hermione looked at him quizzingly and squealed in unbidden zeal upon seeing Peter enlarge a bicycle for her.

Calling for Blinky immediately, she requested the elf to clear away the snow and create a makeshift track for them. The two took turns riding the bicycle.

Hermione, it seemed, couldn't stop laughing, not when Peter would just not the get the hang of the it.

Rab and Papa had followed the sounds of their jubilous cries shortly into the evening and had lit a fire and settled around to cheer them on.

'Its not my fault! How did they even come up with this? And it's supposed to he entertainment. It's a whole lot of trouble, I tell you!'

Rab smirked at the helpless boy, 'Quit grumbling, Pete. Mi has beaten you a total of eleven times. How'd you like your friends to know?'

'Urgh! This is a deathtrap, I give up!'

Papa laughed heartily and patted Peter's back as he sat down beside the old man who very graciously provided him with a bowl of broth.

Hermione continued going round in circles and feeling the wind beat against her face. She didn't mind the cold. Not in the slightest. How could she when it made her feel so normal. So mundane. And oh so reminiscent. Her father used to take her to the colony park every Sunday so they could bicycle or practice skating. Sometimes it did feel like a different lifetime. In a way it was.

Once inside the manor, Hermione hugged Peter tightly and whispered in his ear, 'I needed a little cheering. Thank you, Pete.'

Peter replied, softly, 'I told you I'd be with you no matter what. I know about Sirius. And trust me he's being the biggest git in the world.'

Hermione gasped and let go of him, 'What do you know?'

He smirked at her discomfort, 'Please. You two aren't very subtle, you know?'

Hermione felt her cheeks redden as he went on, 'Whatever it is with Marlene, I bet it's some stupid logic in his own little world to go after another bird when the one you really like is right under your nose.'

Hermione nodded, unsure. 'Anyhow, I really do appreciate this. You can't begin to imagine know how happy a silly little thing as a bicycle made me feel today.'

'Oh, maybe you should show me some of it by knitting me a sweater. It's highly offending. Why don't the rest of us get one and that prick does?'

She laughed, 'He wears the stupid thing? It was only meant to be a little trinket to show him he's cared for.'

'He wears the decrepit old thing paired with the scarf and everything to every damn Marauder meeting which, let me inform you, is four nights a week,' he gagged and disappeared in green flames.

Smiling to herself, Hermione walked back to the parlour and joined Rab and Papa.

'Mi, you're going to come of age soon. Have you thought about what you wish to do with your life?' Papa asked.

'Oh,' she hadn't thought about it at all. Her plan was simple. Join Voldemort. But surely she couldn't go around parading that. 'Perhaps I could travel for a while.'

'I've been looking into a betrothal for you. However, your brother has concerns regarding it.'

Hermione looked at Rab who merely shrugged. 'Ah, I see..'

'The Oakswood heir would make a formidable match for you.'

She bit her lip.

'But I haven't yet begun to pursue it. I'd like to give you a chance before I make any claims.'

She looked at him gratefully and smiled, 'Papa, marriage isn't for me. I'd like to research and perhaps even join the Unspeakables someday.'

Papa nodded and held her hand, 'This old man merely cares about your well being. I know you are unlike the young women of your age. You would find the sanctity of marriage restraining. I shan't force you.'

She hugged him lightly and let him drop a soft kiss against her forehead. 'You are the jewel of this family, love. You have the purest of the hearts.'

Before leaving the parlour entirely he stopped beside his grandson and ruffled his hair playfully, 'Always my little boy.'

**-o-o-o-**

Hermione rose with the morning sun, looking out at the forest snow laden forest. She had no idea what lay beyond it.

Snuggling into a cashmere cloak she slipped out her room. Her padded feet thrummed against the wooden floor as she proceeded downstairs, a tiny journal in her hand she had gotten used to carrying around. It held variations of spells she was working on by herself. As a research of her own. The plethora of spells her library offered her were archaic and had tremendous scope of improvement in the current times. She had already covered the most basic of them with Papa and was working on a few for her own good.

A rather peculiar spell which could help you point to a given person wherever he may be in the world.

Singing to herself, Hermione sipped her tea as she worked. She could faintly hear the house elves working in the kitchen. They manor remained deadly quiet in the wee hours of the morning.

Rab was the first to join her. Still clad in his nightclothes, he sported extremely disheveled hair.

'My, my I have never seen you look so disgruntled before.' Hermione laughed.

Rab grumbled and poured himself some butterbeer.

Her nose crinkled, 'Why don't you try something healthier in the morning?'

'I am not a child, Mi.' He grumbled, picking up a scroll of parchment and going over the transactions of the previous month. 'The business can be a dreary affair. Merlin knows I've had enough of it already.'

The siblings sat in a comfortable silence, Hermione scribbling away in her journal and Rab revising his notes for his upcoming meeting with an American heir. Neither one realised how late it was when Rab gathered his things, banishing them to his chambers.

Casting a quick charm, he muttered, 'It's nearly ten. Time for breakfast, Mi. Let's go.'

Hermione tucked her journal in the pocket of her cloak and followed Rab into the dining hall.

'Where is Papa? He didn't appear for the morning tea either. You don't suppose he's taken ill again?'

Rab grunted and called for Blinky, 'Can you please go check on Papa for me, Blinky and request him to come to breakfast?'

Blinky bowed her head and vanished. The duo hadn't even turned around when she reappeared, crying hysterically, 'Master Lestrange.. Master is.. Missy Hermy, oh..'

Panic overpowered Rab's nerves and jerked him awake. He ran up to the second floor, climbing up the stairs with fervoured steps, Hermione close behind on his heels. Pushing open the door to Papa's chambers, Rab rushed to his grandfather's side.

Taking a hold of his hand, Rab muttered, 'No, no this can't be .. I can't feel his pulse.. Merlin.. No.. Mi, I can't feel his pulse. Mi!' He yelled as his heart plummeted down the depths of despair.

Hermione's feet rooted her to her spot. Feeling a lump in her throat, she choked and merely stared at the frail old man looking as peaceful as he always did. His brows puckered together as if in deep contemplation of the workings of the universe, his lips set in a feathery smile. His arms resting beside him, as if balancing him on teetering edges.

This couldn't happen to her. Not now. She had escaped death. She had run away from all the pain. Then why was it the only person who could bring out the sun in her desolate life had been taken away from her? Must she always go on like this? Always on the lookout? Was there no rest for her? Had she not been through enough?

Had she not lost enough?

Heaving in a deep breath and steadying her heart, she steeled herself and with shaky movements she stepped closer to Papa.

This wasn't a natural passing. She had smelled the decay in the air the moment she had entered the room. Sniffing the air around him she came up with nothing. She flattened his hand and looked closely, eyeing every little detail and tuning out the stifled sobs of her brother.

But there was nothing. No evidence of anything unusual.

As a distant memory hit her, Hermione reluctantly touched his chest, peeling away his undershirt. Dreading the sight, she gasped as she saw it. Clear against his ghostly white skin were two tiny dots of the blackest black as if etched onto his skin with pincers.

'Rab..'

He didn't seem to hear her. He didn't seem to hear anything beside the sound of his world come crashing down on his head. There was nothing keeping the Darkness at bay from them anymore. Papa was gone. The one pillar of strength he had always looked up to. Their father in every sense. And he was gone.

'Rab,' she called out again, 'Rab.. please..'

She got up and reached out to him, holding him steady as dry sobs wreaked his body. She let him nestle closer into her side and the pain emanating from him reach out to her. He clasped onto her, begging for his shaky limbs to find support in her; his wails echoing a harrowing sadness as if he had been stripped of all hope and yet not a single tear fell out of her eyes. Hermione remained stoic, unmoving and unfeeling.

How could she not when she was only so used to death? She had seen more than enough of it already. Death didn't scare her. Not anymore. Her grief was as palpable as his but there was no trace of it in her eyes. It lay nestled beneath the many walls she had constructed around herself, all of them coming back to life now that she had once again been thrust into the middle of war.

For this is exactly what it was.

Rodolphus had made his move.

She saw as Rab rose up to his feet and faced the wall. His face creased and curling his fists he brought them down against the wood.

Hermione cried out, 'Rab, please don't!' She fought him off, grabbing onto his hands and stealing them away, struggling to free him of the anger that had set home in his mind. His arms wailed around, threatening to set free his rage.

She muttered a spell and healed his knuckles as he slumped down against the wall, his throat parched and the strength in his knees giving out.

Hermione wished she didn't have to bring this up at an hour like this, 'Rodolphus did this.. he used the Lacfilio curse..'

Rab wiped away roughly at his eyes and nodded tightly, bursting out into a humourless laughter. His shoulders loose and his face reddened, he looked up from beneath his hooded eyes at his Papa.

'That bastard! I'll peel his skin away with my bare hands. He did it on purpose. That article.. it was done on purpose. He's set the Ministry against us. He knows they won't trust us. He's alienated us, Mi.'

Hermione's heart broke. Another victim. Another man who'd let his rage get the best of him. She couldn't let him succumb to his pain.

She wheedled away and went to snuggle beside Papa, breathing in the scent of old parchment and cigar smoke. She lay her hand on his chest, the warmth still there enticing her into hoping that maybe he was still here. She willed his heart to begin beating but there was no cheating Death.

And Hermione knew it the best.

**-o-o-o-**

The forest held no enthrall for her that day. The violet hues of the night sky didn't enchant her. Only the dreary cold of the winter moon managed to soothe her and balm her aching marrows.

She hadn't let go of Rab's clutches on her hand the entire day. She only understood it all too well. He needed her to ground him. He needed to make sure she wouldn't be whisked away as easily as Papa had.

It was a short service. The Sacred Twenty Eight had been notified. A few Ministry officials. And some friends. But Hermione paid no attention to them.

Her mind wasn't chaos. It was blank. Empty of all thought. She had come full circle. Faced her oldest friend once again.

She had been a fool to have been lulled into the safety Papa had provided. He had loved her.. cherished her.. called her his jewel and had been taken away.

Like everyone else she had loved.

Thumbing the flowers on the edges of her hat she had made all those years ago, she felt the irony of life settle in on her shoulders. The wildflowers he had brought to life were still fresh. Still breathing. And yet he wasn't. He was gone.

Gone.

He was now a part of the wind that threatened her hair to fall out loose. He was a part of the sleet that fell steadily on the soaked up grounds. He was a part of the glow of the fairies that bridled along the trees. He was a part of the still waters the little oak boat housing his body floated upon. He was a part of the fire that set his mortal body aflame.

He was everywhere and yet.. nowhere. He had died and taken with him any traces of innocence left in her heart. The embers of the fire, now so very distant, burned bright in her eyes as they sought out the solace of the night.

There were no stars. No laments. No songs of bereavement. No tears. Just silence. A profound silence that had blanketed her from the rest of the world.

She raised her eyes and looked into the solemn face of her brother, his lips set in a tight line. His grief had pictured him a canvas of grey and black, scampered away from the world.

Squeezing his hand gently, Hermione stared at her friends huddled around in one corner, sheltered under a tree from the raging downpour. Still untouched. Unharmed.

She saw Sirius glance her way and James smile ruefully at her.

Her eyes turned away.

There had been enough distractions.

**-o-o-o-**

The clock chimed in at midnight but the Lestrange children remained fixed to their spots in the parlour.

A heavy silence enveloped them. No lights adorned the room. No glowing embers in the fireplace. Just the cold and moonlight that flooded in from the window.

They hadn't just lost him. They had lost him from every tiny crevice of their life they shared with him. He had left them with a gaping wound. Like a severed limb.

Rab stared at the red wine pooling in the goblet he held. Grief surged to the forefront with every bated breath he took.

'Funny thing, Death is,' he croaked out into the stillness that surrounded them. 'Flesh and bones one day. Memory on another.'

Hermione remained lying on the couch, the skirt of her white dress dangling away as her fingers kept skimming the soft petals of her flowers. Her eyes stared at the ceiling, unseeing.. her mind a million years away.

'It takes.' **_Ginny_**. 'And it takes.' **_Draco_**. 'And it takes.' **_Ron_**.

'I keep seeing him everywhere.' He mumbled.

'You mustn't let it get to you, Rab. He's just.. slipped into the next world.' She knew she had to be the anchor. Rab was only just going through this for the first time. He had no recollections of dead eyes and gaunt smiles as Hermione did. 'One day we'll find him waiting at the gates.'

Making no noise, Hermione rose up to her feet. Walking quietly to his side she nestled into his lap.

Fisting his shirt in her hand, she felt him rock her, lulling her into the arms of sleep. But she didn't want it. She didn't want any of it.

She hummed under her breath, echoing ethereal sounds.. calling onto the roots of the afterlife, the chords of her lament sending out waves of unbridled grief. 'Elegia,' she whispered.

She brought his hand to his face and touched the emerald on his finger, 'He's right here, Rab. He's here to stay. If only you let him.'

Disentangling herself from her brother, she dropped a kiss against his brow. With unsure steps, she glided out of the parlour. Not a single foot outside and she heard the fireplace come to life.

Hearing the clicks of two pairs of boots hit the wooden floor, Hermione froze in her tracks.

'Brother.' She heard Rab mutter, no emotion in his voice.


	33. Chapter 33

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

'You aren't welcome here.'

Rodolphus chuckled in a sinister manner that made Hermione's skin crawl. Her blood boiled at the very sight of him. She itched to reach out and crush him.

Standing hidden behind the doorway, she peered in.

'That's no way to greet your brother, Rab,' he simpered.

Rab snarled, rising up to his feet and looking him in the eye, 'Don't call me that, you scum!'

Rodolphus merely raised a brow and raised his hands in submission. Walking around, he dropped his furnished cane onto the side and seated himself on the sofa.

'You do realise you are speaking to the Head of the House, don't you? The estate is mine. The funds are mine. The name is mine', he said, mild interest showing in his voice.

Rab yelled, 'You don't deserve any of it! You killed your own blood. You dare come show your face and take his place?' He pulled out his wand from within his robes, aiming at his brother's face. 'Give me one good reason not to kill you. I will end you tonight! I swear I will.'

'Well, what's stopping you then?' Rodolphus laughed. 'Here I am. Come and finish me.'

Various painful curses at the tip of his tongue and yet Rab couldn't find the courage to utter even a single one of them. His hands faltered though his heated gaze still penetrated the man before him with venom pooling out of his entire being.

'And that is where you're wrong. You don't have it in you.' Rodolphus stood up, all mirth gone from his visage. 'You wish for revenge and yet you think the way to do it must be righteous and just. If you want something in this world, Rab, you have to have the guts for it. You don't have it in you to kill someone. Pathetic, really.'

Rodolphus shook his head and smirked, 'You believe killing is beneath you? I have murdered oh so many of those filthy Muggle vermin. Killing me would be a wise move on your part. I will never stop. I will go for so many more. But you're so caught up in your little moral parade. It'll be your undoing.' He cackled, 'You're a spineless little boy. Your pansy feelings for your brother, someone who murdered your dear grandfather, are hindering you from destroying him. Grow up, kid.'

Scrunching up his face and curling his fists, Rab struggled to maintain his composure. He knew he was on the brink of exploding and yet a part of him couldn't take the last step towards insanity. As much as he wanted to put an end to him, his conscience wouldn't allow it. He was a coward.

Rodolphus stepped behind Rab, breathing down his neck. 'I will ruin you, brother. Join me. Join the Dark Lord and help restore the glory of our House that was besmirched by such foolhardy support of the muggles that Grandfather has shown.'

Rab pushed himself away, 'What does your Dark Lord want with me anyway? He has you. Is that not enough?'

'Oh, but each drop of pureblood is a waste if not put to the right means. You and our dear sister will do wonders with your skills. Imagine the glory that awaits you. The Dark Lord will fill your life with privileges not even our blood status could muster up.'

'None of it interests me. You can shove your offer up your ungrateful arse.'

'I urge you to think again.' Rodolphus glared, 'You are bringing shame to the family. You are soiling my dignity. The Dark Lord has waited long enough. He's been gracious. He mustn't always be thus.'

Rab muttered, 'That's enough. Leave now.'

He smiled serenely, 'And go where? This is my home now. The Dark Lord shall be extremely happy when he sees the new Headquarters.'

Rab seemed unsure for just a moment. He had expected it but the reality hadn't really sunk in. There had been no time.

'Defiance from one of his most loyal follower's family will cost me greatly. Do your brother proud and join us.'

'Never!', Rab spat in his face.

Rodolphus glared at him, 'You bring me shame! You will join us or I shall disown you.'

Rab laughed, 'Even if you did I have enough lands and finances to last myself generations. So does Hermione.'

Rodolphus had had enough. Before Rab could register, he had him by wandpoint.

'You will do as I say.' Rodolphus said.

Hermione sensed the rising danger in the air. She knew things could get out of hand any minute now. She entered the room, looking equally regal as her brothers, her own wand pointing at him in warning. 'Let him go.'

Rodolphus' face brightened up. 'My lovely sister! Ages! It's been ages since I last saw you. Haven't you grown into a beautiful young woman!'

She spat, 'You're in the wrong, Rodolphus. You've lost yourself to your wife's maniacal whims. Following a harrowing man will do you no good. Leave him. Your sterling reputation will never be enough for him to spare you. He will get rid of you the moment you stop being useful. Leave him and perhaps you can seek redemption.'

Rodolphus chuckled as he lowered his wand and stepped aside, 'Your moral code really is pathetic. Leave the Dark Lord? What would you have us do? Mate with muggles and muggleborns and let our bloodlines be diluted? Why do you think there's been a sudden rise in the number of squibs? Our immunity weakens.. our magic weakens with such alliances. It's a sin against nature. Would you have Magic leave god's green earth entirely?'

Rab muttered furiously, 'Nothing can be a good enough reason for the inhumane ways with which you murder innocents. You're a monster!'

Angered beyond reason, Rodolphus thundered, 'I am only trying to protect you! And here you are acting like ungrateful little children! Soon the good for nothing Ministry will fall and the Death Eaters will rule the world. Pardon me if I care for my family's interests.'

'You justify your psychotic ways by twisting your actions into something honourable?' Hermione felt incredulous. 'You _disgust_ me! You really think this is the way you protect your family? You dare say you do it in the name of love!'

Rab whispered, 'You killed the man who raised you. You killed the man you worshipped for the entirety of your life. You killed him in cold blood. Your own family. He loved you the best and you know it. You broke his heart and he still loved you.. still hoped you'd come to your senses. The poor man never stopped believing there was still some good in you. Never.'

'I did what I had to. Grandfather would have led you into ruins. He would never have heen able to save you. The Dark Lord will decimate the world. And above all, blood traitors. I shall hate to stand over your graves and mourn the loss of two of my most beloved.'

'Have some shame, Rodolphus. You have gone far beyond the rational bounds of this world,' Rab said sadly.

'Why must you make this so unbearably difficult for me? Don't you see? Look around yourself! Everything is falling apart and you will too if you keep standing at the eye of this storm. Your side will never win.' He laughed, 'Not when you keep upholding such righteous ways of battling us. You fools refuse to use Unforgivables. The Dark side is proficient at curses that can render the mind useless and yet your side resorts to inconsequential hexes. You really believe that's the way of winning a war?'

Hermione sighed, 'This is getting nowhere. You're a deranged man.'

Rodolphus sneered, 'You've always had a penchant for the Dark Arts. I've seen you reading tomes of the vilest nature. Don't deny the pull you feel towards them. You act so mighty but your heart speaks differently. I can see the hunger in your eyes. I see your drive for power. I know of your silly dalliances with the Potter boy and that miserable excuse of a pureblood heir. I shall have the Dark Lord pardon you for your grievances. Hoe stupidly you stoop down to talk to mudblood and halfbreeds. They will never do you any good. Come with me. I can tske you to heights you shall never be able to imagine.'

_No, it isn't the time. Not yet._

'All the riches in the world shall be yours.'

Rab placed a hand on his shoulder and guided her outside. 'This discussion is over. You shall have neither my support nor Hermione's. You can have the manor. We're leaving.'

'You should watch your back, brother.' Rodolphus said gravely. 'It's not just I who'd want to come after you. Many would envy the status you have but choose to throw away so carelessly.'


	34. Chapter 34

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

A certain numbness had taken over Hermione's being. She found herself lost and deranged. She had no bearings of why she was here at all. Death had followed her into this life too and she hadn't been able to do anything about it.

She seemed strong on the outside but only for Rab's sake who had been struggling each day not only with the grief of his grandfather passing away but also with protecting his and his sister's interests from Rodolphus. They had temporarily sought shelter in one of Hermione's dowry homes in Wales which had made her nose wrinkle at such archaic traditions. Rab had continued working in the Lestrange Corporation. Despite the Head's wishes, five out of the twenty seven companies were entirely his to rule.

Even at Hogwarts Hermione could not be drawn out of her shell. She had been enveloped by a profound silence she rarely ever broke. She had distanced herself away from everyone she cared about.

She had stayed away from the Marauders. Not at any cost would she go to them. It hurt too much. To look at Sirius and Remus was a harrowing task.

She was once again plagued by the images of her past. She was once again haunted by her ghosts.

Looking at James was the worst. He kept reminding her of the absence of the only good thing in her life and there was no balm that could help with the ache she harboured deep in her heart.

Peter and Lily had been quite persistent. The Marauders had cooked up an elaborate prank to bring her out of her mourning but they didn't even realise the roots of the problem. How could they?

After the particular stint Hermione had taken to reaching her classes last and leaving first. When she was not in classes or the Great Hall, she had taken to spending her time in the Room, wallowing in her own sadness.

It wasn't because she was weak. She was just tired. Her exhaustion ran deep into the very marrow of her bones. She had been so hopeful when she had arrived here but now it seemed like she had been mistaken.

Nobody could ever realise Hermione had tumbled down a dark and dreary lane where she wasn't just mourning her grandfather. No. She was mourning every single person she had lost in the war. She was mourning for herself.

Months passed and she wouldn't speak. She refused to. Her mind had begun strategizing and planning her next move. She had begun dismantling the various intricacies of Voldemort's Death Eater circle so as to make note of each and every weak spot.

She would join soon. Very soon. She had only to decide when.

Her distance from the Marauders also served the purpose of faking a fall out with the boys. She'd made it a point to voice out degrading opinions on blood purity wherever she found there was the right company listening. But what made her feel ashamed was that Kingsley was always there. And he saw every little thing she did.

But he understood. And that baffled Hermione. How could he possibly contemplate the reasons behind her actions? But it was so very clear that he did because his eyes held just one single emotion which was pity for the girl before him. He had tried to corner her multiple times but she only ever had cordial greetings for him.

She was simply done. She needed to focus only and only on her mission. She wasn't here to make friends or find love. She was here to save the world.

Leaning against the Mirror of the Erised in the middle of the Room, Hermione hummed under her breath, tracing lines on the shiny surface which housed her two best friends smiling at her.

Harry's hair looked as unkempt as ever and his green eyes bright. Ron's freckles stood out on his pale face. Their reflections visible in the nightlight flooding from the windows on all four walls of the Room.

'It'd be a good time for you to show up, Harry. It's been so.. difficult,' she whispered into the emptiness, 'I don't think I can do this by myself. Look at me.. I'm possessed by my pain.. I'm weak. I will screw up someday and the world will come crashing down on me.. when I join him.. he'll look into my head and who knows one day he might even see everything? What will I do? It's a big risk but I don't see how I can help otherwise. It's about saving every single life and I can't do that if I focus only on the horcruxes. I'm not strong enough to do this..'

She sighed, looking at her friends' faces now looking despondent and apologetic.

'I am so alone.. it hurts every minute. Every breath that I take.. it's stolen.. I miss everyone.. so much.. and it's killing me to be here. I didn't deserve to live. I .. it should have been Ron or .. Ginny. I'm sure Ginny would have been smart enough to have found you by now Harry. And even if she hadn't I'm sure you'd be so happy if she was the one who had made it in my place.. things would have been good for you. You'd have been together. Although.. I would regret never meeting Sirius or the other boys and even your mum.. they're brilliant, you know? Absolutely brilliant. It breaks my heart every time they come running, hoping to break the walls I've built.. they look so shattered .. Sirius looks like it's all his fault and I can't.. I can't even do anything about it.. I've just lost all control and I can't.. I can't speak.. I just can't. Not to them. Not to anyone else.'

She gulped down the dry sobs rising in her throat, 'I need you.. please.. please just come to me, Harry.. I can't do this alone..'

'I can no longer picture them.. everyone back home.. their faces are becoming so hazy. I'm losing the details.. I don't remember the right shade Tonks' hair used to turn into or the sutble differences between Fred and George.. I can't remember Mr Weasley's laugh.. I don't even remember the sound of his voice.. I.. Merlin, I am losing myself.. I don't want to forget.. please..'

She echoed, 'Please..'

Breathing in deeply, she rose on her feet and stared at herself standing between her best friends. Holding their hands in hers.

She reached out a cold finger to touch the smile that her reflection bore. She wished she could keep it for herself but she knew she could find no solace here. What she was doing was beyond unhealthy. Drowning herself in the past would do her no good but she needed something. Anything to ground her. To take her back..

Taking one last look at the imprint of a time long past she turned around and left. Struggling for the emptiness inside her to subside, she paid no mind to her surroundings. She stumbled on her step and fell down on the cold ground after having walked right into the chest of a livid Mulciber.

Mulciber offered her his hand which she took reluctantly. Brushing away the dirt off her robes she nodded at him.

'Severus is a fool,' he muttered to Diana who was hanging onto his arm, 'falling right into the traps those stupid Gryffindor boys set up for him. He just wouldn't lsiten to me. He's posessed by his idea of something being wrong with the Lupin boy.'

Hermione felt her breathing quicken.

'Gone off running after a bait Black gave him,' he mumbled as he walked away, 'Should know he should keep away from the Shrieking Shack.'

Hermione broke into a sweat. This was definitely it. She remembered vaguely something about a life debt Severus owed James because of a prank gone wrong.

His life was at risk.

Oh dear.

She ran down the staircase and past the vacant corridors, all the while horrible thoughts plaguing her mind. She knew it would be okay. She knew he would be safe by the end of the night. But she couldn't just stay away. She had to do something!

Rushing onto the grounds, Hermione made her way to the Whomping Willow billowing its branches dangerously under the cover of clouds. The moon would be out in no time.

Where was he? Had he already gotten in?

She levitated a twig and tricked the tree into stilling itself. Crawling on all fours, Hermione drew herself inside the hidden tunnel, her wand cltuched tight in her hand.

She called out softly, 'Severus? Are you there?'

With careful steps she walked deeper into the tunnel, a sense of foreboding creeping up on her.

'Severus?'

Her voice still a hoarse whisper from the past few hours, she kept walking. Finally reaching the Shack she came to a standstill. What now?

She could hear faint noises in the room above. She knew it was the boys.

Crouching down she crept upon the padded landing of the Shack and strained her eyes to see. Climbing up the stairs carefully she willed her ears to pick up on each and every sound. Just another step and she found herself right in front of the room.

She peered in and saw Remus sitting on a bed with misery etched into the lines of his face. Sirius sat beside him, clutching his head, looking worried and detached. James and Peter merely stood on the sides awaiting the moon.

Severus wasn't here. Had Mucliber been lying? But a lie so close to the truth. No. Something didn't add up.

Hermione felt uncertain. Should she leave?

Shuffling aside, her shoes made a crunching noise. She saw Sirius and Remus look up, their noses crinkling.. they could sniff her!

Sirius muttered, 'It's Mi! Crap!'

His face morphed into one of utter mortification. Getting up he walked out and opened the door. He thundered, 'Are you out of your mind? What are you doing here?'

Hermione was startled into shock. She kept her mouth shut, at a loss of a proper response.

'Hermione, you have to leave.' James came up. 'Now! It's dangeorus and you know it. It's about to begin and..'

Remus commented, 'Mate, there's someone else here too.. '

Peter looked around, 'What? Blimey! What the hell is going on?'

James cast a quick Lumos, the light at the tip of his wand glaring down at the smirking face of a very content looking Severus Snape, standing hidden behind a tapestry.

Hermione saw Sirius look at him, aghast and slightly guilty. 'You blithering idiot! You actually believed me? Are you out of your mind? Leave, both of you. NOW!' He grabbed Severus by his cuffs and began dragging him away.

Severus fought him off and landed a resounding blow on Sirius' face. 'Don't touch me! The secret's out. I knew it all along. Your little friend here is a pathetic little monster.'

Remus' face lost all colour as he thudded down against the wall.

'Wait till I let the school know. I shall enjoy it thoroughly when he's thrown out. I wonder what Dumbledore will have to say about it.'

Peter said urgently, 'You should really leave.. it could begin any minute now.'

Hermione cleared her throat, 'You'd be foolish to think Dumbledore doesn't know already. Let's go, Severus. You know it's not safe. Come on!'

He sneered at the boys, 'You're done for. I'm going to have you all..'

Severus was interrupted by the sounds of cracking bones and a howl of pain coming from Remus. His eyes grew wide. He fumbled for an escape.

Sirius muttered, 'Not so brave now, are you?'

James yelled, 'Not the time for arguing. Just run, you two!'

Hermione grabbed Severus' hand as James herded them away. They hadn't even made it to the stairs when Hermione saw Padfoot struggling to keep Moony away, now howling in mirth at the sight of innocent prey.

Wormtail was trying to sway him away, grab the wolf's attention in any way possible.

Hermione understood the need for James to turn. She pushed him away and dragged Severus with her. She saw James nod at her and run into the room.

It seemed Severus had missed out the entire exchange, now panicked and unresponsive.

'I'll have to levitate you this way, Severus. Get a grip on yourself!'

Severus's feet gave out at the sight of the wolf who had broken out of the hold of his friends and was now standing before the two humans, his yellowing teeth bared at them and his claws aiming for the skin on the boy's face. Severus' ashen face broke into a sweat as he felt warm liquid pool down the length of his trousers. He fumbled and sunk down into the mess he'd created. Not a minute had passed and he fainted.

Hermione heard a scuffling behind the wolf and saw Padfoot and Prongs trying to make the wolf turn away. Padfoot bit into his leg as Prongs prodded his back. Any other night and it would have worked but Moony was presently driven by bloodlust. His senses were picking up on human blood and nothing they did could calm him down.

Moony thrashed and uttered a guttural growl at the base of his throat and broke free, running towards the children. His leering face hovered above theirs. Any minute now they'd be turned.

Adrenaline kicked in. Hermione was taken back to her childhood years when facing an adversary was an all too common thing. She was taken back to the years of war as her reflexes came plunging out. Whipping out her wand, Hermione screamed, ' _Etiamlupinus_!'

A shot of yellow light burst out from her wand and hit Moony in the chest, immobilising his body midstep.

Padfoot turned his sharp gaze on her as Prongs attempted to get back up on his feet, Wormtail trying to console him.

' _Pareris_ ,' she mumbled, knowing all too well the risk she was running on Remus' life. She only hoped she was doing it right because if she wasn't she had just willed not only Moony but also Remus to always do her bidding.

She reached out telepathically to the wolf and commanded him to sleep the night away, not rousing even once before sunup.

Moony fell down into a heap. Hermione looked at the various scratches on his body and muttered, ' _Resinas_.' She watched as the cuts healed and the skin sew itself back.

Walking around him she reached the other canine behind him.

She whispered, 'Not everything is a joke, Padfoot. You could have cost him his life. Imagine the pain it would have caused Remus. He would be shattered.'

The dog shied away from her penetrating gaze.

'You betrayed your friends. It's a good thing he passed out when he did. He didn't see any of you turning into your forms. One tiny thing to be happy about..' she muttered.

Turning around she cleared away the mess at Severus' feet. Holding onto him tight she flew away out of the tunnel and onto the grounds.

When revived, Severus crawled away from her and retched into the bushes. He was overcome by a coughing fit as Hermione steadied herself on her feet.

Getting up she walked over to him and looked at him sternly. 'Dumbledore is bound to have words with you. He will make you swear secrecy.'

Severus glared. 'I could have died. He's a dangerous monster. He is a threat!'

'Oh, shut up Severus. You listened to Sirius out of all people. You know he hates you. And you still listened to him. What he did was wrong. But punishing Remus for his faults will do you no good.'

'How could you possibly take their side? Are you out of your mind? You're defending that.. mongrel!'

She sighed. 'I don't care about your rivalry. You owe me a life debt.' She smirked, 'And I'm invoking it right now.'

Severus paled, 'What do you want?'

'You will never join Voldemort or do his bidding or aid him in any way possible. You will not help the Dark Side by any means. You shall leave the country after finishing school on a scholarship provided by the Lestrange Corporation and finish your studies on mastering potions abroad.'

Severus looked stricken. 'You can't ask me to do this.'

'I just did. Your love for Lily may be true but every day you choose your Death Eater friends over her.' It wasn't because he had called her a mudblood that Lily had decided to end their friendship. It was because he had discarded her. 'I had thought that perhaps it would guide you into the Light but I was wrong. So you leave me no choice. I shall resort to manipulation. You know what happens if you don't follow through my words and ignore the debt you owe me.'

Severus looked away.

'You will do well to remember your allegiance lies with me.'

She proceeded to bind him to an Oath, swearing him into silence.


	35. Chapter 35

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

The next morning found the Marauders waiting outside the Headmaster's office.

James looked peachy as did Peter, who was the only one who would spare Sirius a glance sitting with his face in his hands, slumped against the wall. They knew he was beating himself over it, blaming himself more severely than they ever would but it didn't negate the fact that he had made a terrible mistake.

True, his emotions had been all over the place lately what with everything going on at home and with how worried he always was for Hermione and how his brother was almost on the brink of insanity but it was not a good excuse to have almost cost someone their life. Nothing could ever be a good enough excuse.

Hermione sat away from all the others. Her solitude wouldn't let her be even in times of duress.

She had been relieved to know that Remus was up and functioning as normally as he usually did. At least her spell hadn't misfired.

Her nerves threatening to send her over the edge, she waved her wand and conjured a chess piece. Her eyes harboured the same hollow look she was always seen with these days but lit up with the tiniest amount of warmth somewhere deep inside.

James frowned as he saw her thumb twiddle around the knight, looking at it as if it held all the answers to the mysteries of the universe. She looked at it with.. reverance, as if it was the only thing grounding her to reality. Sighing, he placed his hand on hers, calming down her fidgeting.

She found herself craving his touch but she couldn't go around toying with his emotions, not when she would go back to ignoring his presence the minute she got to leave. Retracting her hand with pain screaming in her heart, she rubbed her temples, placing the knight gingerly inside her robes. She stood up on her feet and began pacing.

James looked hurt but kept his mouth shut. Now was not the time to corner her. There were more important things to consider. His guts threatened to explode with worry over Snape mouthing off Remus'secret to the entire school. He knew Dumbledore would somehow settle it but he couldn't stop gnawing at his lip and rubbing a hand over his head every few minutes.

Peter's gaze was now focused on Sirius and Sirius alone. His continued silence was sign enough for him to know how terribly he was feeling. There weren't a lot many things that could send Sirius Black into such a state of nothingness. Try as he might Peter could not bring himself to console him. Perhaps later that night or perhaps the next day but not now when he was so overcome with anxiety and rage.

As for Sirius, there was truly no question of how immensely remorseful he felt. He had let the infamous Black temper get to him. He had let his emotions take control of his actions. He had acted as a Black would and he was ashamed of himself to have conformed to the ideals of his family. To have betrayed one of his closest friends was the biggest sin in his eyes and he had done it so carelessly.. without any thought.

Sure he hadn't actually thought Snape would be so stupid to actually follow through but he accepted his fault because he had also known that Snape wouldn't be able to resist and yet Arius had still done it. He'd still irked him and persuaded him to fall trap to his words.

Merlin, he was a wreck. What was wrong with him? What had he been thinking? How would he ever look Remus in the eye? How would he ever seek forgiveness? Did he even deserve it?

The gargoyle shifted and Snape passed by them, his face livid as his dark robes flapped around him.

Hermione knew it was her turn. Breathing in deeply she stepped up on the stairs that rose to take her to Dumbledore's office. She rapped onto the doors and entered when asked to.

Everything was the same. Just exactly how it had been in her time. Except for maybe the lack of a few books. But all the little trinkets were there and so was the feeling of safety.

Fawkes sat perched atop his destinated place, peering down at her as did his master.

'Please sit, Ms Lestrange,' Dumbledore requested, his blue eyes lacking its usual twinkle.

She gracefully settled into a chair and looked at him serenely.

The two sat in silence until Dumbledore realised she wasn't going to speak up. His usual ways of questioning a student wouldn't work on this one. How peculiar, he thought.

'Mr Snape has already recounted the events of last night but seeing as he was passed out for most of the time I'd really appreciate if you could take me through everything that happened.'

She nodded shortly and recounted to him everything in detail without revealing to him the boys' secret of being Animagi. She didn't hide the curses she had used. She didn't see any need to. The boys wouldn't know what to filter and what not to. They weren't trained for this kind of interrogation.

'You performed some spells that you shouldn't even have the knowledge of, child. Controlling the will of a werewolf is unheard of. Only dark wizards have ever attempted to do so. You do realise the authorities would like to know how you came across them, don't you?'

She smiled at him sweetly, 'I think so, yes, but what I did wasn't illegal. Besides there are no records of these curses in the Ministry. They're a family secret.'

'And yet the spells you used were dangeorus and not entirely advisable.' He pointed out.

'I did save lives. You mustn't always jump to conclusions based on the kind of magic one uses. Dark magic doesn't necessarily mean you were aiming to hurt. One's intent and purpose are essential to spellcasting and you know it.' With an afterthought, she added, 'You know it better than most.'

For a moment Dumbledore lost his footing. He wondered what the girl could be foreshadowing but dismissed the thought instantly.

'Should I be worried about Severus spilling?' She inquired.

Dumbledore sighed and shook his head, 'No, you shouldn't. I have forbidden the boy. He will not speak of what happened under any circumstances.'

She raised a brow, 'And will he follow?'

'I don't see why not. You mustn't worry yourself over this. Your friend will be kept safe,' he said reassuringly, 'Nobody's going to question his presence at Hogwarts.'

She nodded.

'Ms Lestrange, might I make a suggestion?' Dumbledore asked with a tad bit of hesitation.

Hermione could almost smell the hints of manipulation in the air. She motioned for him to go on.

'I have seen you withdraw unto yourself ever since what happened over the winter.'

Hermione bristled, 'And?'

'I merely hope to see you maintain your friendship with the young boys you so care about. You've been cold to them. They will help you under any circumstances should you require it.'

'You've taken a personal interest in me. Why?'

He chuckled, 'I take personal interest in every student I have.'

Mustering up all her politeness, she replied, 'With all due repsect, Headmaster, my choice of friends should he nobody's concern but my own.'

'Forced submission is never enough to contend oneself with,' Dumbledore said gravely, 'Only true bondd of friendship can ever help you tide over difficult times. Never a situation of bondage.'

Hermione knew he was no fool. She understood the underlying warning.

Dumbledore muttered, 'Just something to think about.'

And Hermione did. She thought about it for a considerable amount of time. Dumbledore really did know everything that happened under his nose. She truly wondered the extent of his powers. He was a remarkable wizard.

On one of her late night strolls to the kitchens, Hermione was once again toying with her knight. It had become a habit for whenever she was upset or feeling lonely. It made her feel closer to Ron.

Draco's sacrifice hung heavy on her head these days. It made her feel constantly on an edge. Guilt ridden, she spent her sleepless nights walking around the castle, looking for ways to take her mind off everything around her.

She failed to understand what was happening to her. Was she finally losing it? Was this a side effect of being displaced in time and space? Was Time finally catching up with her trickery? Why was she suddenly faced with an onslaught of painful memories that she didn't wish to revisit?

Tickling he pear on the tapestry, Hermione's feet took her to her favourite spot on the farthest corner of one of the tables.

Without question the house eleves would ladle her plate with some fruit and fill her goblet with warm milk. She didn't have the appetite to stomach anything else.

Sat staring at the fire, she sipped her drink. So busy was she she in her swirling thoughts she almost didn't hear Peter sidle up beside her.

'I see your late night adventures are still happening then,' he commented. 'Might as well invite one of the blokes. We are awfully good at exploring.'

Hermione nodded absently, 'Maybe if the fates granted someday I'll have someone to share my journeys.'

Peter stopped smiling, sensing the underlying sadness within the girl. He gently bumped his shoulder with hers.

'Mi, we're worried about you. All of us are.'

'You needn't bother, Pete.' She wondered if she would have to stage a public fallout with the boys and Lily. It would crush her soul to do so.

'I understand you're still in mourning but.. let us help you.. please.'

She looked at him sharply, 'I miss Papa. I miss him everyday. But no.. you don't understand.' She whispered, 'You can never help me.'

Peter backtracked. 'Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Okay, we won't discuss this, alright?'

She chose to stay silent and tried to enjoy her friend's companionship. It had been months since she had felt this warm.

'I appreciate the efforts you've been putting in talking to me, Pete,' she said, 'But I really need you to stop now.'

Peter frowned, 'You're our friend. We're going to keep at it for as long as it takes for you to be okay once again.'

Hermione rubbed her eyes and looked at him. 'What if I don't want to be friends?'

Peter snickered, 'Come now, you don't mean that.'

'I do.'

'What?' Peter implored, 'We're not kids, Mi. You want to stop being friends? Nobody just stops being friends with someone. And why'd you want to do something so ludicrous anyway? Is this about the incident with Snape?'

Hermione shook her head, 'No! Peter, you have to understand.'

'Look, I know you haven't forgiven Sirius. Remus hasn't either. At least not fully. But he really is paying for it. Trust me, nobody blames him as much as he does himself.'

'It's not that.' She struggled, 'You know my family and you know where its allegiance lies.. it'd be prudent for you to stay away from me. I can't change what the fates have planned for me.'

Peter looked as if he'd been slapped. He clambered up on his feet and whispered furiously, 'You can't do that! You can't join that bastard! Are you out of your mind? What's wrong with you? You don't even believe in that bullshit.'

'My beliefs are irrelevant. My loyalty lies with my family,' she said, her voice devoid of any emotions.

'Hermione. You're not some cold blooded Death Eater. Stop talking about things you don't understand. Rab would never let you do something so ridiculous so stop it already.'

She signed heavily, 'All I'm saying is.. stay away. Please. It's for your own good.'

Peter opened his mouth to say something but shut it immediately, at a loss of words.

'Please, try and understand. I'm not saying I'm going to join him. What I'm saying is that it's not safe for you. Rodolphus won't stop. To get to me he will hurt those I care about.'

Peter shook his head, 'I can't help it. You're not getting rid of us this easily. Let him come to us. You're one of us. And we look after our pack.'

He stormed away from her, enraged at the idea of her having to do anything with that monster.

Hermione merely shut her eyes. Clutching the knight close to her chest, she rose up and left for the dungeons.

The events at the Shrieking Shack had at least helped her dispel the entire scandal of how Severus had called Lily a mudblood. She had made it a point to keep very close to him everyday they had an exam despite the very cold behaviour he showed towards her.

She only hoped that the lack of a fallout between Lily and Severus would not be detrimental to the girl's relationship with James. She would never forgive herself if James didn't end up with the love of his life. But she also knew it was necessary for Severus to be with Lily or he'd surely wander away. He may not join Voldemort but who was to say what other vile ways he would find to instil his wrath upon those beneath him.

Sitting on her rock on the very last day of the term, Hermione unfurled the scroll of parchment in her hands and went through the letter she had received from Rab telling her to stay put and that he would be coming to fetch her that evening. She was still not allowed travel aboard the Hogwarts Express.

She knew she could handle whatever Rodolphus would come up with but she saw it fit to humour Rab. She understood his need to protect her.

Tracing his neat script, she let the wind ruffle her hair. Closing her eyes, she was once again faced with the sight of a pink line that had formed on her chest overnight one day. Dolohov's curse had marked her in her previous life and now the scar was back on her body, a haunting reminder of her past.

It had broken another dam of memories for her. She often dreamt about her torture at Bellatrix's hands. She often woke up yelling, her screams muffled by all the protective charms she would set up each night before she went to bed. Maybe she should..

'Hermione?', she heard Sirius whisper.

She opened her eyes and nodded at him.

'Can I have a word, please?'

'What do you have to say?'

Sirius took a deep breath and remained standing, 'I wish to apologise. I didn't just hurt Remus that night. I hurt each one of you. I betrayed your trust in me. I know it's irreparable and I don't deserve your forgiveness.'

Hermione stood up, 'Did you apologise to Severus?'

As much as it pinched him to say it, Sirius nodded, 'I did.. yes..'

'Good. I'm glad to see you're at least making an effort.' She brushed off her robes and made to leave.

Sirius reached out and grabbed her wrist, 'Mi, please don't go just yet.'

She turned around slowly, looking at his fingers inwining themselves with hers.

'I just.. I ..'

'You have to grow out of your childishness, Sirius. Your actions would have led to his death. They would have ruined Remus' chance at an education or a career. You practically signed away his life. He's your friend. Your brother.'

He hung his head in shame

'I forgive you.' Hermione said, 'You can have my forgiveness. Only because I know you're never going to forgive yourself. And I know enough of guilt to know how it drives you mad.'

He peeked at her from underneath his lashes, 'Mi, you should know that I..'

She interrupted him, 'Have my forgiveness if it does you any good but speak to me no more. Please.'

She ran away from him but he followed. He fell into a step behind her, 'Cutting yourself from everyone won't help you. You can't push me away. You've always been there for me. Now it's my turn to save you. Let me.'

'I don't need you to save me, whatever that means.'

Sirius ignored her and went on, 'I have heard things. At home. Are you safe?'

Hermione chuckled, 'I am with my brother, you know.'

'Yes, but..,' he faltered, 'Are you feeling better now?'

'I am as good as I ever was.' She answered, 'You don't have to worry about me. I can take care of myself.'

'You don't have to,' he said with conviction.

Hermione turned around to face him again, 'Sirius, leave me alone. Please just leave.'

Sirius shook his head, stepping closer to her. 'I can't not when I ..'

'Sirius!'

The two swivelled into the direction of Marlene, coming up to them running.

She smiled brightly and latched onto Sirius' arm, pecking him softly on the lips, 'Hey, you're late. They're starting.'

Sirius sighed and nodded.

Marlene looked at Hermione and grinned, 'You want to come? It'll be fun. Like last time. We're celebrating the end of our OWLs. You can bring along Kingsley too.'

Hermione shook her head and declined politely, walking away from the couple, her feet laden with lead and her fingers brushing over the shiny knight as her mind drifted to another night filled not with laughter but tears over the death of her best friend's godfather.


	36. Chapter 36

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

The summer warmth had lulled Hermione into a deep slumber. Dreaming of windswept fields was a welcome break from the constant nightmares that plagued her.

She donned a pair of pajamas and made her way to the kitchen. They had only brought along Blinky with them to their new abode. She was a Lestrange house elf but her primary allegiance lay with Hermione and would go even as far as accompanying her once she was married into another family.

Ladling her plate with some bread and some sweets, she entered the living room, settling into an armchair. Digging in, she looked out from the French windows to see the vast expanse of lands that surrounded the cottage set somewhere on the French border. It was a scenic little place Hermione had come to associate as home.

She enjoyed her time here with Rab although the absence of the family patriarch still irked the children for there was no longer the hand of a wise man guiding them away from the darkness that never seemed to stop chasing them.

Rab hadn't returned since the previous morning. He was away on business for the Corporation, handling Russian diplomats to extend his investments farther out.

She had only just discarded her plate and pulled out her copy of Ancient Runes when Rab made his presence known.

'I don't believe I've ever had a more tiring meeting,' he chuckled.

Hermione called for Blinky to bring him some lunch. She sat beside her brother as he ate and listened to him mindlessly chatter. That was how he had decided to move on from the death of Papa. He had indulged into sharing plenty of useless words with anyone who was willing to listen. It helped him drown himself in inconsequential affairs and forget the woes of the past.

'The goblins just won't acquiesce. I've tried so many different angles. It seems separating the contents of a vault as ancient as ours might not be the easiest job especially since Rodolphus is set in his ways.'

Hermione nodded, 'What we have in our private vaults is more than enough for us. I don't see why you need to fight over so much more money when we don't even need it.'

'Mi, it's not a question of finances. Those are family heirlooms. They belong to all of us. Some of them are meant exclusively for you as the sole daughter of the family.'

'I do realise that but we're simply wasting our breath.'

'It is a long and tedious task but I will get it done. I know you don't care much about it but family traditions demand..'

Whatever Rab had wanted to say was cut off as the fireplace came to life. The two frowned and waited for the fires to subside to make sense of their visitor but as soon as they did they were startled out of their seats.

Rab rushed to the side of a broken and severely tortured woman. She looked overly pale, a mass of hair plastered onto her forehead. Her back seemed to be oozing out pools of blood as every once in a while tremors overtook her entire being.

He cried out, 'Mel? Can you hear me?'

Melinda struggled to open her mouth. She wheezed and clutched onto his shirt, rumpling it beneath her battered fingers.

'Merlin, who did this to you?' Hermione asked, 'Are you a part of the resistance?'

Melinda nodded her head tiredly and croaked out, 'Your.. brother.. he got me.'

Hermione froze and whispered, 'This is a warning.'

She looked worriedly at Rab, his jaw set and his lips pressed in a hard line. He wasted no time in gathering her in his arms and carried her to one of the guest rooms, depositing her gently onto the bed. Hermione was hot on his trail, every muscle inside her suddenly on the alert.

'What do we do?', Rab said hurriedly. 'Should I call for Mr Delcroix?'

Hermione kneeled beside the woman and began casting quick spells to assess the extent of her injuries. 'That won't be necessary. I can treat her. This is too much of a sensitive matter.'

'Mi, you have no experience. You could make things worse.'

She shot him a glare and yelled, 'Trust me, Rab! I know what I am doing.'

She had been thrown into her war persona as soon as she had laid eyes on her brother's oldest friend. The state she was in was severe but not even close to what she had treated back in her own time while fighting Voldemort. Compared to that, this was a mere glitch. It said a lot about all that she had faced but she spared no time to focus on the ironies she had witnessed at the hand of the fates.

Not entirely sure what to do Rab settled with holding Melinda's hand tenderly as he watched his sister wave her wand in complex patterns over her body. He saw her clear away the blood and prevent any more of it from pooling out.

Hermione put Melinda to sleep and went on to administer her a simple Calming Draught and a Blood Replenishing Potion. Pulling out various other healing potions from the depths of her beaded bag, she proceeded to create a perfect dose for the girl.

Making sure she would remain sound asleep for the next several hours, Hermione set upon to gently pry away the cloth off of the girl. She turned her on her stomach and gasped at the sight of her back. Her shirt was ripped along the edges, blood marring extremely deep gashes.

She heard Rab gasp in horror. 'What have they done to you..'

'I am going to need to undress her, Rab. Don't worry. I have done this before. I will fix her.'

Rab looked at her as if she was a whole different person. He frowned, every fibre of his being urging him to trust her but nothing what Hermione said made sense. Where could she have possibly learned this? Above all where could she have had the chance to practice her skills?

He silently left the room to brood by himself, waiting calmly by the door to await any word on how Melinda was now doing. Despite the whirlwind of emotions in his mind, his pureblood upbringing ensured him to maintain a stoic face and to let nothing of his feelings show.

Inside the room, Hermione muttered quick spells to clean Melinda's body of all the grime. She then disinfected all the wounds which were mainly present on her back and her torso. She then doused them with some balm and healed the broken skin, sewing it back into a seamless expanse. The stitches although not done most expertly would hold and do their job.

She healed various other tiny cuts along her arms and her legs. What worried her the most was her tremors. She knew it could only mean one thing. She knew it from experience.

Her own body was not yet nineteen. She had another couple of years or so before she herself would be facing the after effects of the Cruciatus curse. It had been too long since she had been woken up at night because her body would just not stop shaking. It happened in extreme cases but it happened nonetheless.

She hated thinking about it but Bellatrix's torture had been nothing against what she had faced a few months later when she had been taken captive for almost a week. Never truly wishing to think about it, this was one memory Hermione never thought about.

One memory she kept well hidden even from herself.

True, she had been rescued by Harry and Charlie but the deed was already done. Shaking her head she rid herself of the melancholy that had settled deep into her heart.

She would forget it. She would ignore it as she always did.

Sighing, she pulled the covers over the sleeping girl's body and wiped away the sweat off of her forehead. Her cheeks were already regaining some colour. Casting a cooling charm on the room she stepped outside to see her brother standing onto the side, his fists curled and his jaw set tight.

'She's okay. She will pull through.'

Rab breathed a sigh of relief. He hugged her briefly and motioned for her to go on.

'It appears she's been beaten and flogged. She had smaller cuts lining up her limbs but that's to be expected. It also seems she's taken a fall but I can't be sure. However, my biggest concern is how she's been subjected to the Cruciatus. Seeing from how her body is reacting to it I can only say she's been tortured for longer than just a few hours.'

Rab punched the wall and hung his head in defeat.

'There is no organic cure for treating the tremors that riddle one's body after such events. The after effects can be quite traumatic in terms of her mental health. It depends entirely on her will to survive if she can battle through the frequent flashbacks she's bound to face for the rest of her life. The physical effects will be far too dispersed and depend primarily on how she deals with them. But she will be alright.. the next couple of months will be the hardest but following those, she should be okay.'

Hermione reached out for his hand and rubbed soothing circles on his back.

Rab cleared his throat and stepped away from her.

She frowned, 'Hey, what's wrong?'

Rab raised his hands and chuckled darkly. 'I don't know what worries me more. Should I worry about Mel almost dying or should I worry about what you've been hiding from me for all these years? I'm no fool, Mi. I know you have secrets. I have ignored them for so long. Ever since whatever happened back when you were nine, you've been different. We let it be since you seemed to have bounced back but every once in a while you would slip. Do you know how many times we almost brought home a Mind Healer? You have to tell me. I'm grasping at the edges and I need to make sure you're safe.'

Hermione rubbed her eyes and slid down against the wall, falling down on the floor with her head pressed in her lap.

Rab made no move to touch her. He would not be swayed by his love for her. He was going to get his answers. He needed to keep her safe and that meant he needed to know what exactly they were up against.

'What is going on here, Hermione? You were just a kid and that is what baffles me. You were always home. You never went out.' His voice took on a higher pitch, 'Nothing even happened then what broke?'

Hermione cringed and looked up at him, his eyes bloodshot and grieving.

'I don't even know how to begin to understand. I made a mistake. Papa made a mistake in just letting you be. We should have consulted the healers but you were fine all of a sudden one day and we hoped it had passed. For the longest time I believed that you were only just processing the death of our parents a little later than when it happened. It made sense. It seemed like a logical explanation. But the nightmares never added up. And now this?'

Hermione sighed and got up, wobbling on her feet. 'I don't know what to tell you,' she whispered, 'I don't know how to explain.'

'Why don't you try?!' he yelled.

She took a step back, suddenly fearful.

Seeing her retreat broke Rab out of his rage. He sighed and rubbed a hand across his face. He reached out to hold her hand and whispered, 'Hermione, please. I need to keep you safe. You are my baby sister. How could you possibly have such knowledge? You just treated a heavily bruised woman when you're only about to turn seventeen.'

Hermione was at a loss of words. She couldn't divulge her secrets.

'Have you gotten yourself wound up in some kind of .. cult? Is that it? Are you in trouble?' Suddenly all colour faded away from Rab's cheeks as he muttered, 'God forbid, are you a part of the Order?'

Hermione shook her head violently, 'Unlike Voldemort, Dumbledore doesn't recruit children.'

'Well then what is it?'

Steeling herself, Hermione said, 'Look, Rab, I have never given you a reason to doubt me. I can't tell you. Not now. Once this is all over.. once the war ends, I swear I'll answer any question you may have but for now I am asking you to trust me.' She begged, 'Can you do that for me?'

'I trust you more than anyone in this world and you know it but this is too big, Mi! This is just too big to put my blind faith in you.'

Hermione lied, 'I'm not in any danger. None, I promise. You needn't worry about my safety. Just trust me.'

Rab nodded his head reluctantly and frowned, 'I don't have a very good feeling about this but you are the world to me, Mi and.. your word means everything. It's a promise. You will tell me everything once all this is over.'

Hermione wrapped her arms around him, her heart breaking for the man she was asking so much from. She hated herself for not being honest and violating his faith in her.

Holding her close, Rab muttered, 'When can I see her?'

Hermione let go of him and replied, 'Give her a few hours to rest. She will wake up soon.'

'She's a muggleborn, you know? She's kept it a secret for the entirety of our school life. Being a Slytherin muggleborn is a dangerous thing at Hogwarts. I only got to know in our sixth year and that too because of an incredibly tiny slip up on her part. I bet Rodolphus somehow found out.'

Hermione looked inside the room to see the girl breathing normally now. Instructing Blinky to keep a watch on her, Hermione led the way down to the living room.

Rab went on, 'This isn't just to warn us. He not only consolidated the purity of Slytherins but also succeeded at creating a potent threat to us. He knows I went out with her for a while. He knows I care about her and he's using it against me.' He whispered, 'I.. I did this to her.'

'Rab, this isn't your fault. If not her he would have targeted someone else. I know it doesn't make it any less painful but you know Rodolphus would never stop.'

The duo sat in silence for the longest time.

'We need to arrange a safehouse for Melinda,' Hermione suggested, 'We need to take her someplace else.'

'You're right. Mi.. you .. you should go into hiding too..'

Hermione gasped, 'What? No!'

'It only makes sense. He will come after you next and you know it.'

'He can't get to me at Hogwarts. Besides, now that you know I'm not your average witch I can tell you that taking him on would not be a difficult job for me.'

Rab frowned, anxiety flooding him. 'What else is there to do?'

'For starters, don't be afraid of him because that's exactly what he desires. Living in fear of him will do us no good. We have to play our next move very carefully.'

Rab sighed and got up. 'I need fresh air. I'm going out. Don't wait up for me.. I'll be away for a while. He won't be able to get inside. The wards are strong and the property only admits your magical signature and now mine. He can't enter the grounds without permission. You'll be safe.'

Hermione closed her eyes and smiled sadly, 'Okay.. if you need space, I'll give that to you. But be careful. I'll look after Melinda.'

Rab dropped a kiss on the top of her head and left.

Hermione, left to her own devices, decided to review her homework. She chose to skip dinner and opted only for some cocoa.

She spent the evening watching the birds outside twaddle around on their feet, running after each other. Such freedom would be hard to come by for someone like Hermione.

She spent the night tossing and turning. She worried for Melina and she worried for Rab. She wondered where he had run off to. She only hoped he'd stay clear of any trouble.

Knowing sleep wouldn't come to her that night, Hermione slipped out of her bed and checked on Melinda who was still sound asleep. Making a note of her healing injuries, she walked out and stepped downstairs. Grabbing a cloak, she exited the cottage and settled herself onto one of the chairs in the lawn, feeling the cold wind against her face, letting it calm her nerves.

Something inside her was still on edge. This seemed too easy. The sun may have set but Hermione just knew that the day was far from over.

A slight drizzle had set in. Hermione revelled in the chill of the water that beaded down her back. Her thoughts drifted away to a night far into her past as her fingers once again sought solace from the knight.

Hermione had stood facing the Forbidden Forest that stretched out across the entirety of the lands in front.

Ron had sat on the steps leading up to the Astronomy Tower as Harry had leant against the railing beside herself.

'Seems so very real, doesn't it?' Ron had said.

Harry had nodded gravely, holding the fake locket in his hands, the initials R.A.B. seared into his mind. 'I can smell the darkness. I can smell the coming war.'

'And for it to be such a pleasant evening.. what a waste,' Hermione had whispered.

That is exactly how Hermione was feeling in that moment. Nature was calm and peaceful, the rain drowning the thirsty lands and yet something was brewing. Something so inexplicably evil, it made her skin tingle.

She heard the faint pop of someone Apparating. She whipped out her wand and stood defiantly facing her assailant, still somewhere away in the distance. Looking more closely, she recognised the familiar walk of her brother. Putting her wand back inside her cloak, she rested a hand on her chest and cried out, 'You gave me a fright.'

When Rab didn't respond, she frowned and walked towards him only now noticing how something was very wrong with the way he ploughed on. His steps seemed forced and his shoulders hunched.

When he was only a few yards away he came to a sudden halt, his white shirt completely drenched in the rain. Hermione felt herself shake in fear as she saw him clutching his forearm, something black peeking out from his rolled up sleeve. Her heart almost gave out as he shied away from her gaze.

'Why..,' she whispered.

He removed his hand, letting Hermione see the clear outlines of the Dark Mark resting on her brother's clear skin.

'I ran into our dear old brother. He made the terms of your safety very clear to me.,' he croaked, as tears slipped out his eyes.

Hermione smiled ruefully, 'My safety just cost you your humanity.'

His eyes held hers, only and only love within them, 'I would pay any price to keep you safe.'

'Oh, Rab..,' she whispered piteously, 'What have you done.'


	37. Chapter 37

** _DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

_Tonight at 6._

The _Leaky Cauldron_

Hermione kept flicking the card round and round all the while questioning herself if she was really up to it.

It was soon. Too soon. But she had no choice. Rab had given up everything for her and she'd be damned if she let him be corrupted by Voldemort. She knew it wouldn't be too long before he'd be brainwashed.

He spent days on end at Malfoy Manor at times. She really did wonder what the Death Eaters were up to.

Death Eaters, she thought as her lips lifted up into a wry smile.

Her brother was one too now. Rab was a Death Eater. And so would she be.

Forty one days had passed and Hermione could do nothing as she saw Rab go about his day, working at the Corporation and then leaving at night doing God knows what for that monster.

She blamed herself. She had never expected Rab to sign away his life for her. Never even in her wildest dreams could she have seen this coming.

She wondered if it had been merely Melinda that Rab had joined the Death Eaters in the previous timeline. Had his affection for the girl run so deep?

Something must have gone terribly wrong since the Rabastan Lestrange she remembered was nothing less than a terrorising madman, no less evil than his brother or his sister in law.

She closed her eyes as if physically hurt by the picture her memories painted her brother in.

She had been deliberating. Plotting. She couldn't let doubt overcome her. Not now. It had to be done. She owed it to him. She owed everything to him.

Grabbing her cloak, she made her way to the floo, yelling 'Leaky Cauldron' as the green flames surrounded her and pushed her out in the busy pub.

Coughing and brushing off soot from her clothes, she stepped outside and was hit by the stench of alcohol and something murky in the air. Men and women were bustling around as some kids remained seated on the outer edges, waiting for their parents to finish business so they could be on their merry way to Diagon Alley.

Her brows scrunched up as she searched for the hulking figure of her older brother. Locating him in the farthest corner, her feet dragged her to him.

Rodolphus sipped his rum and smirked as his eyes fell upon her form. 'Sister. At last! I wondered if you'd come at all. I was almost certain you'd chicken out!'

Hermione smiled tightly, 'I have made up my mind.'

Rodolphus got up abruptly and threw a few coins on the table, grasping her hand gently and leading her away and outside into the night, the orange sky flooding the world with its amber glow.

'Do not take your position lightly. The Dark Lord will require your complete devotion.'

Hermione retorted, 'I said I'm ready. Must you have it in writing?'

Rodolphus chuckled, 'Tad bit excited, aren't we? I do wonder what brought about the change of heart. Could it possibly be that dear old Rab has influenced your impressionable young mind?'

'I merely saw the error in my ways. I trust Rab. Now that he has deemed it fit to serve you .. well, then so shall I.' She lied, 'The family pride demands it.'

'His motivations are slightly different than yours but I shan't concern myself with such trivialities. I am glad to be servicing my master by taking you to him.'

He placed her arm over his and Apparated them away.

Feeling the unease in her stomach, Hermione knew it wasn't merely from the Apparition. Her gut was churning with worry, her muscles tense and on alert.

Nobody fooled Voldemort. Nobody. Was she strong enough?

_**Shelter your mind. Professor Snape did it. So can you.** _

Hermione found herself standing in front of huge gates which opened of their own accord as Rodolphus strolled inside onto a path laden with cobblestone leading to an imposing manor Hermione only knew too well. Its walls as dark as ever and the turrets and the towers rising high. Malfoy Manor.

The skin on her arm prickled. Memories of Bellatrix torturing her as her screams pierced the stillness of the halls invaded her mind.

_**Control your emotions**_ , she scolded herself.

'I thought our Manor was to be the new headquarters.'

Rodolphus muttered, 'We keep switching.'

The peacocks pranced proudly around the grounds, ignorant of the storm raging inside her. Her steps were calculated, her gaze focused only on her brother.

'Now be very careful. Our name has gifted us with immunity so nobody shall ever question you,' he instructed. 'You will be treated with utmost respect. Your relation to me will garner you a place in the Dark Lord's inner circle almost immediately. Consider yourself privileged. Men would kill for such an honour.'

As they reached the entrance to the castle like houss, he came to a sudden halt. He looked into her eyes and said, 'Do me proud, sister.'

Hermione nodded.

They took the steps leading to a large hall. Entering the room onto their right, Hermione's breath caught. Before she'd even stepped inside she heard a bone chilling scream break the silence. She frowned. The screams came from down below.. the dungeons. Prisoners. She was suddenly invaded with feelings of dread and foreboding. Despair pooled in at the base of her gut.

_**Let me be brave.** _

Her eyes were drawn to a throne like chair in the middle of the room. Seated on it was the one man who had taken it all away from her. Everything she had cared about. Every one she had loved.

Voldemort.

Tall and deathly pale, he was emanating sheer danger. Hermione almost stumbled on her feet. His scarlet eyes, gleaming in the dark, appraised the girl before him. The corners of his mouth lifted up.

Rodolphus let go of her arm and went to bow before his Lord, looking disgustingly like a cockroach.

'My Lord, I bring to you my sister. Hermione Lestrange. She wishes to offer herself to our cause.'

She heard someone gasp and only then did she gather her wits and looked around herself.

Her eyes met her brother's.

_**Oh, Rab.** _

He looked torn, his face ashen. Hermione couldn't bear to face the heartbreak etched into his eyes as a look of complete betrayal shadowed him.

'Mi, what is the meaning of this?'

Voldemort's interest piqued. 'Family quarrel. Why, dear Rabastan, you should be proud of your sister. You seem.. repulsed by the idea of her joining my ranks.'

Hermione had to stop herself from spitting at him. The sick bastard could never beging to discern the torment Rab was bound to be feeling.

Rab bowed, 'No, my Lord.' He backtracked, 'I merely find myself astonished. I never knew of such a thing happening. My sister.. I wasn't told..'

'I'd hate for you to be punished for insubordination, Rabastan.' Voldemort said snidely, 'You are slowly becoming one of my most useful men.'

Rab looked away, his tongue tied. He could do nothing but watch his sister, the girl he had given up himself for, so carelessly curtsy before the Dark Lord giving herself up to him. He didn't know whether to feel angered by what she was doing or mournful for her fate.

Had he not been enough?

His own sister..

He had failed her already. Not a year since Papa was gone and he had failed his family already.

Hermione made a mental note of her audience, ignoring how she shivered as another scream broke through the stillness once again.

The entire Lestrange family was gathered along with the Malfoys. Rodolphus and Lucius stood proudly beside their Lord's throne as Bellatrix sat at her master's feet.

Narcissa was standing in the shadows, her eyes gleaming with fear. Hermione knew she was here against her own will just like she was.

She would save her. She would come for her.

Rabastan stood beside her, looking mutinous. Onto his left was an older man with his hair tied at the nape of his neck.

Yaxley, she remembered.

Her gaze flitted over another man. Rookwood. And Rowle behind him.

Only a lone man remained who she couldn't put a name to. He stood away from all others, his back ramrod straight as his golden hair curled over his head. His plush mouth was set in an amused curve, his hands resting behind his back. He was looking at her with a smoldering gaze, trying to dismantle her secrets.. studying her.. regarding her with great care.

She was entranced by his amber eyes boring into hers. She wondered who he was. His head tipped forward in form of a greeting breaking her out of her reverie.

Hermione sighed and stepped forward, bowing once again in front of Voldemort. 'My Lord, my brother is full of praises of your endeavours and how they will one day be successful in ending mudbloods and half breeds.. removing them from our world. They are a bane to our existence.. an insult to our purity. I wish to honour you.. I wish to serve you.'

Voldemort smirked and got up. He moved towards her, every step he took making Hermione's skin crawl. She shuddered internally as he cupped her face, his gaze raking over her being.

'Most.. delectable,' he whispered, 'I see the depths of your knowledge in your eyes.. very wise.. wise indeed. Your blood is strumming against your veins.. so pure..'

Hermione was on her guard. She knew what he'd do next. Everybody knew.

As she had expected she felt him brush against the barriers of her mind.

_**You have to bend your will**_ , she told herself.

Shying away from his gaze, she lowered her eyes and let the walls around her fall, expertly hiding away every little memory and letting him feed only on the most inconsequential bits of her life.

She let him see her, Hermione Lestrange, as a child playing in the lap of her mother. She let him see her with her family feasting on dinners in celebration of the purity of their blood as the members of the Scared Twenty Eight assembled under their roof. She took him to the parts of her mind showing him her time at Hogwarts, studying.

But she wasn't foolish. She may not be an exceptionally powerful witch but she was smart.

She knew she had to bait him with sentiments. He would understand if she projected only the logical aspects of her life to him. She had to let him in on her emotions and so she let him see her grief over Papa's death, hating how vulnerable it made her feel. She let him feast upon memories of her conversing with Snape and even the Marauders though she kept those particular few short and brief.

She let him see her speak ill of muggleborns late at night with Slytherins hurdled around her in the Common Room. She went as far as fabricating well thought out fake memories she had planted inside her mind showing him hurting weaker kids at school. She let him see her researching the darkest spells she had ever found, the hunger in her eyes as she devoured the secrets her ancestors had penned down.

Voldemort let go of her and turned to Rodolphus, 'She has been close to the blood traitor's boy. The Potter heir. Even has the Black heir around her finger.'

He glided along the ranks of his followers, 'Must I let her in? Does she deserve the pride that comes with being one of my own people?'

There was a murmuring in the room, nobody's voice really audible enough for Hermione to make out what they were saying.

Bellatrix preened, 'She's an imbecile. Not even of age, my Lord. She will only be a hindrance.'

Hermione bit back, 'Threatened, are we?'

Voldemort laughed, if it could even be called laughter. 'Ah, Bella.. don't you worry. Nobody can ever replace you.'

Bellatrix smiled at him sweetly, bowing down and placing a kiss at his feet.

Rab begged, 'She's just a child, my Lord..'

Voldemort ignored his pleas and came to a halt before Hermione, 'Tell me.. why must I allow you to be a part of my ranks?'

Hermione replied, 'We aren't very secure in our numbers anymore, my Lord. Mudbloods run amok our streets. Vermin needs to be eradicated and I find myself equipped with just the right means of squashing them under my foot.'

Repulsed. That's how she felt. Thoroughly repulsed with herself.

_**I am vermin too.** _

Voldemort hummed, 'You're correct in your beliefs.. I am glad to see you have found your way back. Mingling with traitorous bastards might have rendered you soft. I was worried. Very worried.'

'I have my brother to extend my gratitude, my Lord.'

'Oh yes. Yes, yes .. Rodolphus is extremely educated with ways of bringing wayward men and women back home.' His eyes gleamed, 'You shall make an excellent addition. But how will you prove yourself to me, girl?'

'What will you have me do, my Lord?' Hermione inquired.

Voldemort motioned for one of his followers to step forward. He removed himself from her sight, going back to his throne as Bellatrix looked over at Hermione, assessing her strengths and weaknesses.

'Let's have a chat,' she smirked, 'Girl to girl!'

Hermione's blood ran cold. The words she was hearing were so ominously similar to those she'd uttered to her all those years ago.

Hermione barely had time to deflect a horrible curse aimed at her by her sister in law. She ducked just in time to escape another one. Another one she dodged and another and another.

Bellatrix fired a spell causing a jet of blue light to skim across Hermione's skin, singing the fingers on her left hand.

Hermione squeaked, pulling away her hand and cradling it.

Bellatrix cackled, 'Weak! You're weak!'

This wasn't her. She had to take Bellatrix on to prove her worth. She had to defeat the witch to reassure herself, only if she could affirm that she was no longer scared of her.

Hermione braced herself for impact as a jet of red light came her way. She cast a powerful shield that managed to send Bellatrix flying into the wall.

Making use of Bellatrix's momentary lapse in consciousness, Hermione muttered, ' _Nigro venas_.'

Bellatrix howled in fury as her skin began to line up with black marks, running along her veins inside of which the blood curdled causing her to scream.

Her eyes glimmered in the darkness as she muttered a counter curse and blast Hermione into the air.

Hermione heaved in a breath, her chest constricting. She blocked a couple of curses Bellatrix sent her way and creeped out of her hiding place. Casting a disillusionment spell on herself she glided behind Bellatrix who was now prancing around, her ears strained, attempting to listen to every creak of the floor.

But Hermione was a lioness on the prowl and she was out for revenge.

Catching Bellatrix surprised, she mustered up all her energy and screamed, ' _Quemcumque spiritum_!'

Bellatrix choked as her lungs crumpled up. Her arms flailed around as her wand fell down on the floor, heaving in lumps of air but unable to breathe still.

Hermione smiled in triumph. Revenge tasted sweet. She almost felt good.. almost.

'Enough.' Voldemort commanded.

Hermione came back to her senses and muttered the counter curse, hating herself for it. What would she not give to let the bitch die struggling for air. She deserved it. She deserved a death a thousand times worse.

Bellatrix almost fainted with the effort as Rodolphus gathered her in his arms.

Hermione saw him nod at her in appreciation.

Sick.

How could a man be so unbithered by the well being of his wife?

Regaining her composure, Bellatrix glared at Hermione, sending great loathing her way.

Hermione merely smirked. Her glee was pushed further into her mind as the man from the dungeons let out another cry of agony.

Voldemort let out a sigh of frustration and yelled, 'Bring him to me!'

Hermione suddenly felt scared.

Her breath quickened at the sight of a bloodied man being levitated inside the room. His white hair was plastered on his forehead, caked with mud. He kept muttering, cowering on his knees as he was thrown onto the floor.

Hermione's heart leapt out. Here was an innocent man who would now undoubtedly be tortured mercilessly by the racing lunatics present around her.

Voldemort struck him with spell after spell as his screams only amplified, filling the room with the harrowing sense of despair. Rookwood and Rowle joined their Lord every now and then blasting the man into the air, parading him round the hall like a rag doll.

Hermione felt Rab sidle up beside her, threading his fingers with hers. She looked up at him with shame. She must have done something right to deserve such a gem of a brother.

Rab didn't return her gaze. He merely looked ahead, staring at Narcissa's bloodshot eyes.

Hermione knew she had to save her from the clutches of darkness. She had to.

Lucius and Rodolphus added their own inventions to the mix, making the man beg for death.

Voldemort placed his foot on the man's cheek and said, 'You piece of filth. You deserve all of this and much more. You dare besmirch the magical community with your dirt.'

The man cried out, 'Please.. I didn't do anything.. I swear.. I took nothing.. let me go.. please.. mercy!'

He crawled on his knees, grabbing onto Yaxley's robes, 'Please.. I have a son .. a daughter.. please..'

Yaxley replied coldly, 'Then you have only perpetuated your filth further. You have sinned against nature. Bringing to our world more vermin.'

He kicked the man who fell onto the floor once again, the impact of it causing the bones in his hand to break. He howled in pain.

Rab had to struggle to hold Hermione in her place. He knew she was bursting to run forward to help him. He could read it in her eyes. Then why did she willingly walked up to this deranged man and gave herself away?

Hermione felt all her resolve breaking as she felt the man creep towards her, bunching up the hem of her skirt in his broken hand, 'Miss.. please.. show mercy.. let me go.. my children will starve.. their mother is gone.. please.. I love them.. Charlotte and .. and Robert.. my kids.. they need me..'

She shut her eyes knowing full well the implications of whatever she'd do next. But she couldn't hurt him. She couldn't push him away.

Worst of all she couldn't help him.

Her eyes rose up to meet those of the amber eyed stranger. His lips were set in a thin line. He looked at her with great conviction that it made her wonder just what he wanted to say to her.

Voldemort edged her on, 'Come now, dear.. show him his place.'

Hermione gripped her wand tightly. She raised it knowing not what spell would shoot out its tip. She didn't know if she had it in her to condemn an innocent man to death.

It was one life against so many. But each life mattered. It mattered to someone somewhere.

_**Weak. Weak. Weak.** _

What should she do..

Before she could have even raised her wand the man was struck with a violet light.

Hermione drew in a breath, looking up to find Rodolphus sneering at the man, laughing as his eyeballs fell out of their sockets.. a blood curdling howl splitting the silence. Rodolphus muttered, ' _Avada kedavra_!'

He sneered at the corpse that lay at her feet, his wand in the air.

Dead. He was dead. Charlotte and Robert woukd never see their father again. He was dead.

She would never see her father who had died at the hands of the same monster. Her grief over him was still fresh.. it had never subsided and here she stood .. still.. doing nothing to save two lost children the pain of an absent parent.

Voldemort mistook her fury with herself for something else, 'Ah.. no matter, my dear. There shall be plenty of such mutts to murder. You will have your fill soon.' He sighed. 'An end to his misery.. I'd have enjoyed his pain a little while longer but very well .. very well. He was only a hindrance to our plans for tonight.'

He whipped around to face Hermione once again. Noting her hand in her brother's he smiled, not unkindly, 'The bonds of love. How sickeningly sweet. However, I am pleased.. very pleased to have you, my dear.'

He resumed his seat motioning for her to come forward. She did. With bated breath, she whispered, 'My Lord?'

'You have done well. You balanced out Bellatrix exceptionally well. You are skilled at the Dark Arts. It would be a terrible loss to let you go. You shall have a place in my inner circle. I am delighted to see you serve our cause.'

Hermione bowed, 'Yes, My Lord. I shan't let you down.'

'I would have arranged for an initiation more fitting to your abilities had I known what a remarkable witch you are. I will admit I underestimated you, thinking you to be a guileless girl. Nevertheless. You shall be my eyes and ears at Hogwarts. I want you to bring to me any information you may find on Dumbledore and his comings and goings. Anybody you suspect at being a part of his Order. I want you to gather me recruits. Able bodied young men and women who can further our gambles.

'Come here..,' he commanded, 'Present to me your arm.'

Hermione almost buckled but thanked the stars when she managed to kneel before him without a hint of reluctance.

She bit her lip as his wand touched the skin on her forearm, branding onto it the Dark Mark. The vilest magic spread through her veins as a scream threatened to erupt from within her. She could feel the binding magic creep right into her heart.

The bitter taste in her mouth compelled her to hurl but she managed to hold onto her sanity.

She had to save the world.

_**For Harry.** _

The pain stopped as soon as it had started. Hermione felt bile rise up her throat as she bent down to place a kiss at Voldemort's feet.

'Everybody leave.' Voldemort commanded. 'Except for you, Lucius.'

The party dispersed, none more pleased than Hermione who was already formulating plans in her mind as to how to rid her body of the evil that had set its foot inside.

She turned around when she felt a cold body press itself against her. She looked up to into the face of the amber eyed man who looked so much like an Admiral, taken out from the ranks of some Muggle Army.

'Welcome to the great game,' he smiled sadly, his southern drawl accentuated by his velvety voice.

_**An American, then.** _

She nodded and walked up to Rab who grabbed her hand and began dragging her away, never sparing her a glance.

'You did well.' She heard Rodolphus say to her. 'But cowardice in the face of death will bring you only punishment the next time. You faltered in killing that man. You can't fool me. I saved you this once. It's time you accept your position wholeheartedly, sister.'

Rodolphus slipped away as the duo turned around the corner and once again onto the grounds. She dared not utter a single sound, feeling Rab's grip tighten around her, not to instil fear but as a sign of his own growing worry. She had let him down, she knew. He probably didn't even realise how he was almost holding her in a death grip.

They were now outside the Manor. He placed her arm gently around his and Apparated them away back home.

Hermione stepped away from him, running towards the bushes and retching onto the ground. She heard the clouds overhead rumble as Rab rushed to her side, holding her hair away from her face.

He rubbed her back letting her empty the contents of her stomach.

She had stood aside.

She had done nothing to help the man as Voldemort tortured him.. broke him. His kids would mourn for the man Hermione let die. They would mourn for the man Hermione deemed unworthy.

What had become of her?

Who was she now?

Had she made the wrong choice? Did she have the stomach for the treacherous path that lay ahead of her?

Rab cleaned away the mess and held her as she heaved in breath after breath. He whispered sweet nothings in her ears as a panic attack set in, threatening to light her on fire for the sin she had commited. She scratched at her arm, wishing to burn the Dark Mark away, gnawing at her raw skin. Like a cluster of electric sparks, the emotions inside her pushed her to explode.

Oh dear god, what had she done? What had she done?

The rain drenched them in its chilled wetness, the inky skies spreading over the vast expanse of the lands. The depths of despair within her devouring her whole.. bidding on her life. She found it difficult to breathe in her own skin. She let out a tiny scream of frustration, begging for the rains to wash away the evil that clutched at her soul.

She crawled away from rab and stormed away.

Rab yelled after her, 'Where are you going? Mi!'

She could hear him running after her. She sped up, sparing him a parting look.

Apparition licence be damned. She spun away into the darkness, coming face to face with the familiar castle looming into the distancd, seeking her .. calling her.

_**Home**_.

She made her way into the streets of Hogsmeade, itching towards Honeydukes. It was easy to sneak into its cellar and creep along the hidden passageway and into Hogwarts.

She prayed nobody would fall upon her in such a state. She wished to stay out of sight. That was the only thing that mattered.

It was important she talked to him today. She couldn't wait for the sun to rise. She had to protect Rab.

She broke into a run, rushing towards Dumbledore's office. Coming to a halt at the gargoyles she offered a multitude of names of different sweets hoping one would let her in.

'Liquorice wand. Sherbet lemon. Chocolate frog. Cauldron cakes..'

She climbed up the stairs as soon as the gargoyles sprung apart, taking three steps at a time. She had to marvel at her ability of not having fallen down even once during her trek despite the weight of her wet clothes and the burdens inside her weighing her down.

She leant against the door and rapped onto it, heaving a deep breath and willing herself to calm down.

'Enter,' she heard Dumbledore say and so she did. Shutting the door behind her, she fell into one of the chairs before his desk, her head falling down on it.

She heard Dumbledore get up and place a hand gingerly on her shoulder.

'Ms Lestrange. What is the matter? Term starts tomorrow night.'

Hermione said nothing. She was still hyperventilating, her chest hurting like never before. She'd have mistaken it for a heart attack had she not had a panic attack before. Her throat still very dry, she choked on her words, 'Professor.. sir.. I..'

Dumbledore sprung into action, realisation dawning on him. He summoned a tiny vial and slipped its contents into a goblet carrying some butterbeer. He offered it to the girl who gulped it down, immediately feeling releieved. Her breathing evened out as her face regained some colour. Her shaking stopped and her arms fell limply around her as she raised her head to look him in the eye levelly.

She crumpled her sleeve in her hand and bared in front of him the Dark Mark resting on her skin, red with tiny scrapes bleeding out.

She saw pity float in his eyes as he sighed and muttered a spell under his breath. She saw her cuts healing themselves as Dumbledore took off his pointed hat. Placing his half moon spectacles on the desk, he propped himself into the other chair beside her.

He simply asked, 'How may I help you?'

Hermione chuckled wryly, 'You may not.'

Dumbledore frowned so Hermione went on, 'I am going to be your spy.'

Dumbledore's brows shot up. 'Spy?'

'Yes. I am going to feed information to the Order.'

'How do you know about the Order?'

'Even Voldemort knows.' She spat his name with as much venom as she could muster. 'And I know a lot more than you'd think, Professor.'

Dumbledore regarded her carefully. 'If you do not agree with his ideas then may I ask why you joined his forces?'

'Necessities. I have mine as do you.'

Dumbledore asked her, 'How can I trust you, dear? This could be a ruse from Voldemort.'

Hermione nodded, 'I will never ask you to let me attend a single meeting. I do not care about what you plan to do. I don't wish for you to give me a single detail. All I want to do is tell you of what he's planning.'

'What if you lead us into an ambush?'

'Interrogate me with Veritaserum. I will not obejct.'

'You're a child, Hermione. It's illegal.'

'We're at war!' She yelled, 'Do you honestly care about legalities?'

Dumbledore sighed, too good an opportunity that he could not miss. If the girl was truly sincere in her wishes then this could mean immense help for the Order's efforts. He had been attempting for so long to plant a spy among Voldemort's ranks but had always failed.

He walked up to his safe, extracting from it another vial. He added a couple of drops to Hermione's drink.

She took a sip and said, 'You may ask your questions now.'

'What is your intent?'

'I wish to save every single life that I can.' _**The horcruxes will limit me. Every life matters.**_ 'I wish to save every family that I can.' _**McKinnons. Prewetts. Boneses. Meadowes.**_ 'I wish to aid you with any surprise attacks he may plan so the Order is ready. The Ministry is very likely to fall. It's in disarray. Every missing person. Every torture. I can help with information nobody can bring you.'

'Why did you join him?'

'I have my own mission, I told you,' she insisted. The truth serum only forced her not to lie. She wasn't compelled to reveal all her secrets.

'What do you want in return?' Dumbledore queried.

'I would have asked for nothing if things had gone as per my plans.' She said, 'But present circumstances require me to ask you of one thing and one thing only.'

He prodded, 'Which is?'

'My brother's immunity. Rabastan.'

'He joined Voldemort of his own will.' Dumbledore said, 'He's not innocent.'

'But he is! He joined just so I didn't have to!'

Dumbledore shied away from her heated gaze, his heart breaking for another poor soul lost to Voldemort's clutches.

'He stepped in just so he could keep me safe. He doesn't want this. He has never looked down at muggleborns or half-bloods. His heart is free of any prejudice.'

Dumbledore nodded, 'I will vouch for him when the war is over. I will try my best to keep him away from Azkaban. Is that all you want? What about immunity for yourself?'

She shook her head, 'I know fighting for one Death Eater will be hard enough with all the evidence pointing away from his innocence. I want you to save him.'

'This is too dangerous, my dear. You would be risking your life every day.'

Hermione smiled, 'My brother is worth every risk.'

He still looked reluctant and so Hermione did the one thing she could think of.

She lowered the walls around her head once again that day and let him plunge into some of her dakrest memories. She let him see Hogwarts as it burned down into ashes. She projected to him the memories of a dying McGonagall, showing him how Voldemort rained down hell upon his subjects as the shops lining Diagon Alley were blasted into shreds. She sent to him images of dead men and women lying on the floor of the Great Hall.

Dumbledore scrambled away from her, suddenly terrified. He clutched his head, the ramifications of what he saw glaring at him like an unbridled reality. Hehispered, 'Are you a Seer?'

Hermione remained quiet, grateful for the serum to have worn away, letting him believe whatever he wanted to. She'd let him think this was the near future if he so wished. She only cared for his support.

'Very well then. How about a Wizarding Oath?'

Hermione obliged and added, 'Nobody can know. It would only hamper the dealings of things.'

Dumbledore nodded and moved towards the window, 'You're right. But I must warn you.. great men have fallen at his feet. He's not a man easily fooled, Hermione.'

'I am only well too aware, Professor.'

With that she turned away, exiting the Hogwarts grounds and Apparating back home.

As solitude enveloped her, she felt the full weight of the day hit her. She had battled Bellatrix. She had fallen down at Voldemort's feet proclaiming him her master. She had stood aside as the light left the eyes of an innocent man. She broke any amount of faith her brother had in her. She had joined Dumbledore to be his spy. She had revealed to him a glimpse into the future that hung over their heads.

She had turned into a stranger in her own eyes. Whatever good she was about to do would always be shadowed by the evil beginnings of her new life. She only hoped she could one day seek redemption. She hopes for the gods to be merciful when the Day of Judgment fell upon her.

As the floor creaked under the weight of her feet, she saw a lone figure rouse up. Rab sat on the windowsill, his cloak discarded and his robes still dripping water onto the carpet. He held a bottle of Firewhisky to his lips as he looked at her in the darkness.

'You got me worried, Mi.'

She said in a broken whisper, 'Why do you still care?'

'Because no matter how many times you let me down,' he chuckled dryly, 'you will still be my sister.'

Hermione nodded to herself. 'You know.. I hate myself too. More so than ever.. I hate myself today.'

He snorted, 'I could never hate you, kid. Never. But what you did today is unforgivable. This is not you. You love your friend Lily. You love Sirius and the Potter boy. I can only wonder why you did it.'

Hermione shrugged.

'I thought I could keep you away from all this madness. I was so wrong.' A maniacal laugh slipped past his lips as he threw away the bottle, the glass breaking into a million pieces. 'We are cursed! This family is cursed!'

Hermione dropped to her knees, collecting the shards of the glass with her bare hands as Rab watcher her discard her wand. She collected each piece without crying out even once as her hands bled, the blood seeping into the floorboards. Instead, she welcomed the pain. It helped her mind drift her attention away from the ice cold hands of misery grabbing at her heart.

She got up to her feet, staring at her bloodied hands.

The clouds roared once again as the pit-patter of the rain against the window intensified.

'I visited Dumbledore.'

Rab frowned, 'Why?'

'I gave myself up to him to be his spy.'

Rab watcherd her leave, keeping his quiet and cursing himself for the promise he had made her to never question her because all he could do in that moment was wonder just who his sister was and what burden she carryied on her frail shoulders.

He could see her curmble under the weight of it. He could see her struggle.

He looked out the window, staring up at the velvet sky. The heavens still tearing down.

He sent out a silent prayer to whatever gods lay beyond. He whispered, 'Oh Lord, allay me..'


	38. Chapter 38

'I still don't understand why you won't just let me switch places with you,' Rab muttered under his breath, casting furtive glances around himself, keeping an eye out for the snow that lined the pavement leading up to the gates of Hogwarts. 'I am deeper in the circle. You're usually at school and you're not even attending all the meetings.'

'Yes, but I have you to relay to me everything that happens,' she replied. 'Point being Dumbledore still gets all the intel.'

Rab stopped in his tracks, his eyes pleading, 'Please, Mi, I worry about you all the time. Let me do it.'

Hermione shook her head and stepped through the school wards, turning around to face her brother.

'You fret too much. It has to be me. Dumbledore will never trust you.'

He sighed, exasperated, 'What have you done to gain his trust, then?'

She shrugged her shoulders and wrapped her arms around him.

He patted her head and whispered, 'All these secrets..,' he stopped mid speech and took a deep breath, breathing in the sweet smell of Christmas treats wafting over to him from Hogsmeade even this far outside its borders, 'I am working on a way for us to be able to communicate more freely. Our mail can be intercepted at any time. We have to play safe.'

Hermione looked up at him and nodded gravely, her own vulnerabilities clouding her mind, 'You're.. you're with me, right? Promise you will hold onto yourself.. promise you'll always, always come back to me.'

Rab smiled ruefully, 'Yes, dear sister, I will always, always come back to you. We may have gotten our self into some terrible luck but I will never let him take me away from you.'

'I know how it hurts you.. every time he asks you to end another life. You're doing this all for me and I.. I am so sorry.. I wish it didn't have to be this way.' Her voice cracked, 'I wish I didn't have to be your .. sister.' _**I wish I wasn't such a burden. I wish I was born into an unloving family. I wish this was easier for you.**_

He looked at her sternly. Cupping her face, he shook his head vehemently, 'Don't you dare ever say that again. Seeing her eyes droop in shame, he nudged her lightly on her arm, 'Anything for my sister. You are my responsibility. You need me as I need you.'

Hermione laughed lightly.

'Well, it's farewell for now.' He winked, 'Have a great time tomorrow.'

Hermione made a face, 'I hate Slughorn's parties.'

Rab chuckled and made to leave, 'I'll see you for Christmas. Or whatever we'll get to have of it.'

Hermione nodded and ran away to the castle, cursing her fate. _Christmas_ , she scoffed internally. She was certain it'd be spent scheming with Voldemort; devising ways to best inflict his terror among innocents.

She was, however, glad for the small mercies she was granted. She had been quite surprised when Rab had sought her out and held her, never once blaming her for her ill devised plans or her apparent death wish as he'd put it. He respected her choices. He understood she was doing it for a reason. He did try to get her to let him be the spy for the Order in her place stating how he hated the idea of her gambling with her life as if it meant nothing. It had taken her plenty of heated discussions every time they met which had become all too often with the current circumstances.

Since Dumbledore was all too aware of her role in the war, she no longer had to worry about sneaking in and out of Hogwarts. Although, the Marauders still posed a problem. They had been as adamant as ever to hunt her down and demand answers, even resorting to begging. She was running out of options. She really did have to put it to rest. They wouldn't drop it by themselves, she knew.

She once again let her fingers trace the carved lines of the knight she always kept on her person along with her beaded bag. Turning around the corner and entering the Slytherin Common Room, she was surprised to find Severus still up even at an hour so late, staring into the depths of the Black Lake.

He whipped around at the sound the shuffling of her feet made. He smirked, 'My, my what a time to finally arrive. Don't think you have me fooled.'

Hermione raised her brow, 'What are you getting at, Severus?'

'I hear the rumours. Well, not really rumours since I happen to know they're the truth. You're lucky it hasn't gotten out to the rest of the school. Your friends would definitely have something to say about it. It's a good thing Slytherins are so adept at self preservation. They would never out one of theirs.'

Hermione had had enough of his resentment towards her that had stemmed from that night the previous term.

'Such hypocrisy is unbecoming of you, what with you being a pureblood Lady and all,' he commented slyly. 'I wonder what ulterior motives you have or if you've truly changed your ways.'

Hermione sneered at him, 'You would do well to remember your position. You have no prospects. The scholarship you've been offered wouldn't take a second for me to rescind. Don't you dare think you can go badmouthing me, Severus. We may have been friends once but that time is long past.'

'Friends,' he spat, 'you took away from me my one chance at glory!'

She felt disgusted. 'Grow up. We're at war. It's time you let go of your pathetic childishness.'

She walked away, shoving him on her way to her dormitory.

Lying in her bed, she prayed she wouldn't have to relive the torture she'd witnessed at Malfoy Manor that evening.

Revulsion was one emotion she carried with her all the time. She often tried to placate herself. It was for the greater good but the excuse fell flat to her own ears.

Where had the greater good landed Dumbledore?

She felt along the scar on her chest. She would wait patiently for her first true mission. She was doing important work. She had already delivered the news of an attack on the Ministry being planned over to Dumbledore. She had also informed him how the Minister was being tailed by none other than Lucius himself.

Surely these things were important.

They were.

She closed her eyes, seeking the safety of sleep but the sight of a bleeding girl kept attacking her vision.

Lying broken on the floor as Greyback loomed over her. Hermione wondered how she hadn't thrown up right there. She felt dry sobs wrack her body as she imagined the terror the poor Muggle girl must have felt.

Well, she didn't have to imagine what with having been in a very similar position years ago. But Hermione had at least known her friends would save her. In the end, they would save her no matter what. But this girl had been abducted from her home and thrown into a world she didn't understand. She had come face front with magic, something that should have alighted within her wonder. But she had soon found the horrors that resided in every child's secret fantasy of being able to do magic.

_**Harry. Ron. Ginny. Draco.** _

She repeated their names as if a mantra to ward off the darkness. But where could she run if the darkness lay within her.. on her very own skin. She scratched her forearm once again as she fell asleep, slowly losing herself to the crevices of a kingdom where nothing else lay but herself and her fears and on some fortunate days, laughter of a past long ago.

The next evening had been no better. She had wished for nothing but to spend the last day before the Christmas break wallowing in self pity. It helped deal with the questionable things she was doing. Her silent penance helped her feel hopeful for not having lost her humanity just yet.

She sighed to herself as she donned a beautiful robe made of a flowy silver material. She hated the idea of what lay ahead her that night.

The Slug Club.

She stepped out the dormitory to find Regulus waiting for her, dressed in immaculate black robes, looking the perfect picture of a pureblood.

He smiled at her encouragingly, 'You look gorgeous, Hermione.'

Her lips curved, her smile not quite reaching her eyes, 'You look good too, Reggie.'

He nodded, 'At least I have your approval. And it's Regulus.'

Hermione ignored his remark like she always did. 'I really wish I didn't have to go. I hate how .. jolly his gatherings are.'

He chuckled darkly, 'I know what you mean. It doesn't seem right, does it? How everyone can be so happy when despair runs rampant in our own lives.. but then again maybe that's all the more reason to spend these last few days so carelessly. Everyone will eventually be drawn into this entire deal. Why not make the best of the time we still have?'

'You're mature for a fifteen year old,' she commented.

He shrugged his shoulders, 'Living in the Black household, knowing all too well the family madness could creep in anytime, I have to be.'

He led her outside, meeting Kingsley along the way. The three made their way quietly. It didn't take long for Reggie to realise Hermione's gloom.

He silently placed his arm against the Dark Mark on her skin she was so repulsed by.

She looked at him sadly, grateful for his concern. The simple gesture was enough for her to know how he understood her grief only too well.

As they entered the room decorated with streamers and lanterns, echoing the glow of Christmas spirit, Reggie left the duo to meet a couple of friends. There were balls of artificial snow falling on their heads as bells chanted a soft melody.

Kingsley chuckled, 'He keeps outdoing himself every time. I reckon there are more famous personalities here today than ever.'

Hermione laughed lightly, 'It's a good thing. You can meet some real influential people tonight. Who knows what high places they might take you?'

'Oh, I have decided already. I'm going to be an Auror. I don't need any further counseling.'

Hermione shied away, 'Of course.'

Kingsley spared her an understanding glance, knowing all too well how he would soon be forced to act against his good friend. He knew she had her reasons. He knew she was too pure for him to actually fall trap to the false ideas she went around spewing.

_Each man to his own_ , he thought before excusing himself politely upon seeing Slughorn beckoning him.

Hermione felt at a loss about what to do. She wandered around listlessly, a goblet of wine held precariously in her hands, wondering how long she would have to stay before she could run away from this place.

It was suffocating to be in the presence of such boisterous, jubilant cheers. It almost felt insulting. Here she was, all lonely and tired, fighting herself to save the world and nobody even knew.

Her thoughts drifted back to her meeting with Dumbledore where they had begun her training on how to sniff out truth serums and, to an extent, build a tolerance to them, sometimes even looking up antidotes.

Dumbledore had been training her to better shield not only her mind but her entire body from giving away vital information. He had been advising her on how to become adept at lying and hiding your emotions. He had been quite adamant in imparting to her all the tricks he'd picked up on during his years although he still felt somehow reluctant to let her give herself up to such a cause so fully.

The idea of a child putting herself at such risk still seemed so inconceivable to him that she wondered how he would react when or if he ever found out about how he had left a mere seventeen year old teenager on a quest more dangerous than any other.

She try did wonder if she'd make it that far.. if she'd survive the end of the war. Her mind had once again driven her to thoughts that threatened to plunge her into a sea of melancholy.

She was distracted by a sudden noise behind her. She turned around and strained her ears to pick up on the hushed conversation going on inside a hidden alcove.

A true smile lit up her face as she heard the Marauders argue over the intricacies of their katest prank, somewhat relieved to listen to their carefree voices having returned to their usual playful banter. Sirius was finally forgiven.

Remus whispered furiously, 'Grow up, Prongs! This is completely irrational and way beyond a simple prank.'

James complained, 'But they're so mean. Come on! Please let's just do it!'

Sirius snickered, 'Just imagine! The snakes won't even know what hit them. Let's blow their stupid dungeons up!'

Peter made explosion noises, his fingers snapping, clearly drunk.

Remus shook his head, disapproval on his face, 'Mi is a snake too, remember? Your brother is a snake.'

Sirius shrugged, 'Well, it's just a harmless prank. I bet Mi will appreciate it. Besides, whatever hurts Snivellus' ego should he good in anybody's books.'

'Maybe a good laugh is all she needs to come out of her depression,' James added.

'Dunno, mate, we've tried pranking her before.' Peter commented, 'It hasn't worked so far.'

Sirius nodded, 'She seems to be lot more withdrawn these days, though, don't you think?'

Remus hummed in agreement, 'She reakly was close to him.'

Hermione knew she'd heard enough. She missed Papa. Every day. But such grief was unwelcome not when she had to forego of all her emotions and dedicate herself entirely to the war effort.

She shook her head and moved away from the tapestry, walking back to the door.

She felt her arm prickle as the Dark Mark burned up. She wondered what it could be so soon already. Cursing under her breath, she once again made her way to the gates. The wind picked up as she Apparated away immediately after exiting the school grounds.

Dread flooded her as her eyes fell upon the Manor, reminding her how she would soon have to crush the boys' hearts.

Her friendship with the boys would have to be just another casualty of the war.


	39. Chapter 39

** _DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

She hadn't shed a single tear.

Not since Papa had died and she had once again been plunged into being at the forefront of a brewing battle. His death had been a reminder that she was here not for a second chance at life but for a second chance at victory. A second chance at liberty. A second chance at a war.

She hadn't shed a tear even when she'd realised she'd been in this world for eight very long years and had not found a single trace of Harry.

She hadn't shed a tear throughout her mourning. Not even when she had been so sure of every bit of hope having been squashed.

She hadn't shed a tear even when she'd seen Rab, the only ray of light in the desolete island that her life had become, stumbling into their home looking every bit of the broken man he had become at the hands of their brother, someone who was supposed to look out for them but had only dragged them deeper into his personal hell.

She hadn't shed a tear while signing away her life to a cause so unjust .. a cause that would suck out the blood from her very own veins if it could.

Because she was a mudblood.

And no time apart from the ugly brand that had marked her in her previous life could ever make her forget the horrors she had faced because of being one.

She hadn't shed a tear.

Not even when the events of the night to come would render anyone powerless against the misery of the world.

Hermione hated the Malfoy Manor. She was only glad they didn't hold their meetings in the same room as the one she'd been tortured in more than once. But being under the same roof still grated on her nerves.

She was slowly getting used to the dimly lit Manor. It truly was a wonder how even the sunlight flooding in couldn't brighten up the place.

Each time Hermione was summoned there was almost always some poor soul screaming for his or her life. This day was no different.

As soon as she entered the main hall, transfiguring her silver dress into her standard black robes, she saw a man in his late twenties bleeding onto the carpeted floor. Rodolphus kept hitting him with the Cruciatus every few minutes, never giving him the chance to gulp in fresh air while the fifteen or so Death Eaters gathered around cackled with mirth filled laughter.

Hermione schooled her expression into one of disdain as Voldemort rose to his feet and stamped onto the man's stomach. Binding his torso with a rope spurned out of a dragon's skin that burned human flesh at contact, he cast a quick spell to discard his shirt leading to shrill howls splitting up the air every time he breathed.

She noticed how Voldemort gained sick pleasure at the pain those beneath him suffered. His eyes lit up like he'd found the elixir to life.

She saw him sneer at the man and give a welcoming smile to his enraptured audience.

'Ah, my friends.. we gather today to set out on a little raid. It's been quite some time since we had some fun, wouldn't you say?'

Murmurs of agreement went around as Hermione felt a chill settle at the base of her gut.

Voldemort walked through the ranks of all those assembled, placing a hand on each person's shoulder, 'There is a Muggle village I want you to blast away. The Ministry needs reminding who's really in charge round here and I have to admit,' he smirked, 'the news has been awfully boring these days.'

Hermione's muscles tensed as she felt someone sidle up next to her but looking into the face of her brother calmed her somewhat frayed nerves.

Rab looked at her, trying to reassure her but failing miserably.

'Lucius,' Voldemort commanded.

Lucius perked up and bowed his head, 'Yes, my Lord?'

'I plan to send a delegation over to the vampires. We have had support from the werewolves but our vampire friends still remain aloof. I have hopes that the news of the imminent fall of the Ministry will persuade them better.'

'I would like to volunteer myself to head this delegation, my Lord,' he preened.

Bellatrix looked hurt and a little angered, 'My Lord, please, let _me_.'

Voldemort said, 'No, dear Bella, your services are required elsewhere tonight. Lucius shall go visit the vampires heads currently residing in Russia along with your brother in law while you will be heading the party to the village.'

Rodolphus' eyes gleamed, 'Rabastan shall do his job very well, my Lord.'

Rabastan nodded tightly, the vein in his forehead pulsing, letting Hermione know how he truly felt about the entire ordeal.

'I believe you will be gone for quite a few weeks,' Voldemort went on, 'But I do hope you will return with some very good news.'

Rab kissed Voldemort's feet and left the hall, following Lucius at a brisk pace, sparing his sister one last parting glance leaving her to now feel extremely terrified of what was to come.

Hermione let no emotion show on her face, keeping her mind completely blank of any thoughts. She kept her body rigid, showing no signs of weakness or fear. Dumbledore had taught her well.

Voldemort turned to her and asked her to step forward before calling for Rookwood to do the same.

'Since you are the youngest here and the newest additions, this shall be an excellent opportunity for you to prove your abilities and truly become one of us.'

Rookwood fell at his master's feet while Hermione performed a perfunctory curtsy.

'I trust you will not hesitate and take this night as a way of showing to those who doubt us how we are the true masters of this world.'

He turned to the others, waving his hand and effectively dismissing them before whispering into the ear of Bellatrix.

Rodolphus walked up to Hermione, escorting her outside the Manor and Apparating her to a village set atop a hill somewhere in England.

The nightair was still, snow laden pavements devoid of anybody. watching the hill lined with small huts emitting chimney smoke and the nearby Church filled with the joyous sounds of children singing along to Christmas carols was like living through the calm before the storm.

The mist rose amd swirled.

She saw one of the Death Eaters walk up to the Church, raise his wand and blast the windows making shards of glass fly into the sky and fall onto the ground making the snow look like a shiny pedestal.

It was then that all hell broke lose.

Screams erupted from inside the Church, people running out the doors, adults rushing their children out dressed in beautiful red and green dresses and suits. A pair of Death Eaters set to destroy the Church as the smaller groups disbanded to go further up the hill and attack random houses.

The village was filled with screams and howls of pain as green and red flashes devoured the countryside.

Hermione was somehow paired with Bellatrix. Cursing her luck, she set her eyes to destroying property and trying her best at not letting her spells hit anybody. Hermione demolished the walls of the tiny builiding that was probably the school, rationalising how it was bound to be empty at such an hour. She brought down the swing sets, making them fly away into the distance hoping they wouldn't land on an innocent bystander.

From the corner of her eye she saw Bellatrix aiming at a young couple rushing to take cover behind a pub. She cast a quick, 'Reducto!' and jumped up and down, laughing in glee as the walls of the tiny builiding broke down, revealing several people inside with their faces struck with overwhelming fear.

She glided along the streets, every now and then blasting away a window or two, sometimes bringing down boulders that fell onto the roads and added to the rising rubble.

Hermione desperately wanted to get away. Far enough to be able to send a patronus and alert Dumbledore. But it kept becoming increasingly difficult since the village was really nothing but tiny and wherever she went, a Death Eater was already present raining down hell on their victims.

Hermione ducked behind an abandoned workshop. She fell upon the sight of a small child limping away with a stuffed bear in her hand, crying hysterically and calling for her mother.

Hermione risked a glance around her and bent down to take the girl in her arms. She felt a stab of pain in her heart as the girl cringed and shuffled away from her, her sobs becoming even louder. Hermione tried to placate her but knew she wouldn't listen unless she gave her a reason to.

Making quick work of it, she cast a healing spell on the gash that ran along the girl's calf and saw as she looked into her eyes with bewilderment clear on her face.

Hermione motioned for her to hide and waved her wand around, muttering under her breath, 'Habingwell, England. 15 Death Eaters.'

She saw the wispy animal take form and run away into the open skies.

Hermione cast a protective shield around the girl who was still sobbing to herself and crept around the workshop, landing herself in the middle of the slaughter once again.

She fell upon an old man struggling to take shelter, his legs not helping him at all. She pitied the state he was in, his clothes torn and his right arm hanging limp onto the side. It was too dangerous to help him out what with being in clear range of vision of three different Death Eaters.

But her conscience wouldn't allow it. She couldn't just look past him now that she had seen him suffering.

Making a quick analysis of her surroundings once again she only came up with the same results. There was no way she could help him.

It broke her heart. It really did. To walk away as if he didn't matter crushed her and yet there was nothing she could do. She was as helpless as he was.

A puppet on a string.

_Let me be brave._

Casting another few curses that sent the walls of warehouses toppling over, she reached a clearing surrounded by trees on three sides. Rowle and Scabior stood leering at a crowd of few men and women who were caught out in the streets not that those hidden inside their houses were any luckier.

Most of the houses had already been targeted, sending their inhabitants running for their lives.

Hermione looked around herself, feeling hopelessness settle in. Where was the Order?

She ran away, falling upon another clearing. When she rounded up the corner, her eyes almost bulged out her sockets. She felt her breath catch.

Right in the middle of the townsquare was an ancient tree to the branch of which where hung two men, their heads split open and the blood pooling onto the grass below.

Yaxley stood beside cackling.

Bile rose up her throat, her vision blurring. She wished to kill the bastard right away but couldn't, not without ruining her cover.

She saw Rodolphus conjure up huge wooden crosses, erecting them into the grounds.

He yelled, 'This is what you did to us. Or at least tried to,' he laughed. 'Let's see how you fare up on a pyre.'

He grabbed a little boy with red hair by his neck and tied him up to the cross, binding him to it with ropes as thick as his hands.

The boy cried out, 'Maman! No! Please.. Maman! Let me go.. please..' He kept looking at a woman lying dead on the ground, hoping she'd come running and save him.

Burke carried a pretty woman, not much older than Hermione herself, tying her to the cross beside the boy. She kept screaming as her legs buckled over. She tried to fight him off but only ended up with a resounding slap etched onto her face.

Hermione's heart skipped a beat.

'Maman! It hurts, please!'

The boy was no older than five.

The woman beside the boy tried to reach out a hand to the boy, trying to calm him down but to no avail.

Hermione strained her ears to listen.

The woman whispered, 'Hey, kid, it's okay.. your Maman.. she's .. she's not here right now.. but she's.. she's safe, okay?'

The boy heaved a breath, his sobs subsiding. 'I just want my Maman..'

'Your Maman will see you soon now.. very soon..'

'I will? I .. I want her.. now..'

'Just a little longer, okay? And it'll..'

'Silence!', Rodolphus thundered. He whipped around to face Hermione, his eyes taking on a malicious glint. 'Come, sister. The Dark Lord will be very pleased once he learns of this.'

Hermione was caught. If she refused it wouldn't take long for her aversion to be known. But to give herself up.. give her morals up..

Just a child. A little boy. Only five. And he would never see another day. He would not live to grow past five.

And that woman. She probably had a lover somewhere. A mother of her own. People who'd miss her. People she was the most important person to.

Could she inflict upon them such pain?

You have to.. for the greater good..

Hermione wanted to stab herself with a knife because this felt nothing like saving the world. The greater good was a lie.

Each life mattered, didn't it?

Rodolphus encouraged her to go on, 'Don't keep us waiting, Hermione. Let the fun begin!'

Her eyes met those of the boy's. There was only terror. Stark white terror. The woman sent out a small prayer to the gods above and shut her eyes to the horror in his lands.

She would be the child's monster.. the woman's demon. She would be the bringer of Death for them.

Their own personal Reaper.

Hermione rose her wand, readying herself to let go of all her humanity.. her faith.. her beliefs. But before she could even open her mouth she saw a bright red flash of light coming her way. She strained her eyes to find a tall blonde haired woman stare back at her with a gaze burning with hatred. Her maroon robes swiveled around her as she arched a graceful arc in the air and hit Hermione with a curse that sent her crashing into a small boulder.

There was some hope after all.

Hermione didn't try to aim at her attacker. She merely ducked and doged the curses flying her way and made her way out. She could now see several maroon robed strangers fighting the Death Eaters, circling around the villagers and guarding them like sentinels. Hermione knew they were outnumbered. She waited to see what Bellatrix would command them to do, hoping for her to put an end to this madness. But her luck was always running against her and so she saw Bellatrix overcome with a wave of pure fury as she sent several of those strangers hurtling into the air.

She truly was a powerful witch. If only she'd used her strengths to do some good in the world.

Rookwood was battling a woman, sending curse after curse at her. Rosier was paired off with a wizard who was unrelentless with his spells. All around her, the Death Eaters had met their match, a few of them even having fallen down.

What bothered Hermione was how the Order had never had a uniform. So who were these people?

Whoever they were, they were helping the villagers and that was all Hermione truly cared about. And so she dug into the battle once again, never attempting to really cause harm, staying out of the range of fire herself.

She could see a couple of Death Eaters fighting by themselves on the farthest corner of the village. They would be easy to take out without attracting too much attention.

Hermione slipped away and towards them, silent on her feet. She recognised one of them as Dolohov. She was filled with rage at the sight of him. Very carefully manouevering herself, Hermione cast the Killing Curse at him.

He wasn't her first victim so there had been no hesitation and yet a part of her did rebel against what she'd done.

But it was the right thing to do. Dolohov would only go on to hurt plenty of other people and that just wouldn't do.

She aimed at the second Death Eater but before she could cast a spell, he fell into a heap as another one of the maroon robed strangers hit him with a violet light.

Hermione was glad. The presence of these strangers would cover her own kill. It would have raised suspicion if one of Voldemort's men had died at the hands of muggles.

Hermione heard a popping sound coming from every direction. She could see various Order members coming in to join the fight. Her heart almost leapt at the sight of Moody.

But she maintained control and schooled her expression into one of concern. She ran over to Bellatrix who was engaged in a ferocious duel with none other than McGonagall.

She yelled, 'We should leave. We're severely outnumbered. We're fighting a losing battle!'

Bellatrix spared her a cursory glance and nodded tightly. 'Gather everyone and leave! I have some last minute business to attend to.'

Bellatrix's words worried Hermione. She ran over to every Death Eater she could find, urging them to leave the battleground.

Rodolphus grabbed her hand, 'Come on!'

'What about Bellatrix?'

_Let her rot here. Let Death meet her here._

'You heard her. She has business to attend to.'

Rodolphus Apparated her away, once again landing onto the Malfoy grounds. They fell upon the remaining Death Eaters, only nine, gathered around Voldemort who looked so enraged Hermione actually felt tremors run along her body.

'And you let them? They attacked you and you let them?! You are a disgrace! Mere muggles!'

Rodolphus tried to calm him down, 'My Lord.. we were outnumbered. There were so many Order members there. We raised enough havoc to make the front page. The Wizarding World will know of our wrath.'

'You are correct, of course,' Voldemort breathed in, closing his eyes as if to shut out the world, 'but we lost five men tonight. Five able bodied men.'

Rodolphus looked away, awaiting punishment.

Hermione lowered her eyes and saw from the corner of her eyes as Scabior fell to the floor writhing in pain and lashing out.

' _Crucio_!' Voldemort yelled. ' _Contristo_!

There was a squabble outside. Bellatrix entered, looking all the iron she was underneath, fhe infamous Black madness glinting in her hoided eyes. In her hands were three wands belonging to the men she levitated inside.

One of them, Hermione saw, wore the same maroon robes she had seen back at the village. She tried to take a look at the raven haired man but the darkness inside the Manor hindered her vision like always.

Bellatrix fell down at Voldemort's feet, 'My Lord, they caught up to us. Somebody tipped them, I am certain. Those filthy Muggle lovers were everywhere. If you'd allow me I wish to interrogate this one,' she pointed at the dark haired man, 'There were almost a dozen of these. One might think there's more than one organisation fighting against our efforts.

'As you demanded, I have brought to you men to be paraded around to be set as an example.'

Voldemort's eyes scrunched up as he sent the other two men away and into the dungeons. He screamed, ' _Vulneravi_!'

The man's fists curled up, his fingers scratching against the floorboard.

' _Sanguines_!'

His body tore up in several places, blood rushing out.

' _Ideste_!'

He let out not a single scream. His mouth remained firmly shut as if no amount of pain could break him. Hermione could see his hands turn deathly white and yet she couldn't come up with any way to get him and herself out.

_Wait. Get him and I out?_

Something inside her was begging her to bundle him up and take him far away into safety and never let him out. She truly didn't understand where such feelings stemmed from. She was confused and astonished as her body demanded her to rush to his side and take whatever spell came out from Voldemort's wand. She wished to shield him from any harm. She wished to kiss his pain away.

Her brows furrowed as Voldemort kept flicking his wand sending him up into the air like a rag doll being thrown around the room.

'Take him to the dungeons!' Voldemort thundered, his voice sending another set of shivers down Hermione's back.

He whipped around to face her and Rookwood, his eyes set in slits 'And how did you two fare tonight? How many lives did you take?'

Rookwood muttered, 'Three, my Lord..'

'Three? Such a measly number? Tell me, did I send you to make a fool of yourself? _Crucio_! You blithering mongrel! Besmirching the Pureblood name! _Crucio_!'

He cupped Hermione's face, his grip on her skin like a vice, 'What about you, you silly girl?'

She painted a picture of several dead men and women in her mind, 'I lost count, my Lord.'

Voldemort mumbled, 'Not enough. You should have massacred the entire village! Burned it into the ground! _Crucio_!

Hermione felt her body fall. She looked up at the same roof.. the same roof she had seen so many times as her body writhed much like it did now.

_Control your emotions!_

Never once did she let go of her shield. He cast the Cruciatus on her thrice but she didn't allow him the satisfaction.

It would take more than an Unforgivable for Hermione _Granger_ to break.

Voldemort let out a frustrated sigh and proceeded to punish several of those in the hall but Hermione never even flinched. She knew she could take whatever he sent her way.

When it seemed like he had finally had enough of tormenting measly creatures such as herself, they were all dismissed.

Rodolphus and Bellatrix remained in attendance with Voldemort discussing certain crucial aspects of the night's events.

Scabior shuffled away, the stolen wands now in his hands, to keep guard for the night.

Hermione, as instructed, climbed down the stairs to the dungeons with the pathetic excuse of food the prisoners would be fed. She felt pity surface in her heart.

Her lips quivered with all the pain that had come with the evening but she shed no tears.

She entered the dungeons and moved towards the man who had been tortured before she had left for the village.

She had learned he was no other than Edgar Bones.

He spat in her face, pushing the food away.

Hermione whispered, 'This is the best you'll get.. you'll need all your strength for whatever he has planned for you.. please..'

'And what do you care? You Death Eater whore!'

When he seemed to make no effort she moved onto the others, his words hurting her like a sword would.

The two men who had accompanied the maroon robed man were far too gone for them to realise what was happening around them. Their minds were muddled beyond belief.

She then moved to the very last man, hoping for a clearer look at this person she had longed to throw herself at.

No. No, putting a face to him would only hurt much worse.

So she pushed the plate in front of him and turned away.

But as she did she heard the one voice she had longed to hear all this time. She heard herself being called by a name she hadn't heard in eight very painful years.

She felt the walls around her heart crumple. Her breath caught as her wand almost slipped out her hand, her fingers reaching for the knight in her robes.

_Don't do this._

She couldn't have been so tired to be imagining this. Fate couldn't be so cruel to play with her like so.

She hadn't shed a tear even when she knew she'd seen much worse than what had happened at the village that night but hadn't had the heart to face herself knowing she had been a part of those who had brought about such slaughter.

She hadn't shed a tear when she had realised that she would have burned that little redheaded boy with the woman on his side who had wanted nothing but a little peace for the child beside her.

She hadn't shed a tear because she had been numbed to feel nothing.

To _be_ nothing.

And yet as she stood vigil in the dungeons of a Manor that brought her nothing but misery, she cried.

She heard him again.

She heard him loud and clear.

And she shed a tear.

' _Mione_?'


	40. Chapter 40

** _DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

'Harry?', Hermione whispered, almost afraid she was being tricked by whatever gods were out looking over the world.

'Mione? It's you.. it's really.. you.. Merlin, Mione.. where have you been? Mione!

Hermione whipped around and cast a silent _Lumos_. Her mouth opened in shock as she took in the boy.. no, the man in front of her.

His face creeped out from the shadows. His jet black hair stuck out in all directions. His green eyes shining with unshed tears. The scar on his forehead as glaringly visible as always.

This was Harry. Not James. Harry. Her Harry. Harry Potter.

Her best friend. Her brother.

Her lips curved in a smile so big her mouth actually hurt. She took a hesitant step towards him, outstretching her arm hoping he would catch her when she fell for her feet failed her, buckling over and giving away.

Harry shook his head, laughing lightly, his head giddy. He got up from his spot against the wall and wasted no time in running up to her and catching her mid fall and hugging her close to him. So close their heartbeats became a synchronous chorus of misplaced prayers finally being answered. Their breaths erratic and their hands roaming the vestiges of each other, making up for all the lost time, they fell to the ground, an overwhelming mix of bliss and a despondence for all the years spent apart overcoming them.

He pressed his lips fervently against her forehead and breathed in her scent.

Safety.

Camaraderie.

Loyalty.

Love.

Home.

Hermione felt her entire being shut down, all her energy spent on drinking in each detail of Harry's face. All the memories she had of him weighed in on her, transporting her back to a time when everything was good.. when everything was novel and untouched by the darkness that had only grown every day. She could almost feel the way she had when she had hugged him for the first time, so fresh and new to the magic of their friendship.

She revelled in the moment as he held her as if she was his only link to the living world as he was to her and sighed in contentment, tears spilling out her eyes, cascading down her cheeks as she almost broke into uncontrollable sobs.

Every little breath in this new life had been a burden. Every little moment a stolen entity. But as she stood face to face with her best friend she couldn't help but thank her fate for having brought them here so they could be with each other for just a while longer.

She knew the war would ultimately consume them but every moment she would come to spend with him would be cherished by her forever.

It was something very much like coming home after a long and hopeless day at work when nothing had seemed to go your way and the world had come crashing down but this little treasure of a glance at your closest friend, at your one link to a life passed long ago, was more than enough to placate whatever doubts and insecurities there had been. One single second that blinded all the lonely tears and all the solitude.

Harry nudged her shoulder lightly, both of them disregarding the presence of those around them, forgetting for a moment where they were and how wrong everything around them was.

It almost seemed like a thread had connected them even after all this time for the two had always known in their hearts that they would meet again. The Universe couldn't keep them apart even if it had wanted because the thread, no matter how tangled and stretched, would never break.

'Where have you been, Harry? I.. I looked everywhere I could and.. you.. I..'

Harry placed a gentle finger against her lips, 'This is neither the place nor the time. First, I need to get out of here.'

She nodded, suddenly terrified of their surroundings. She stole a furtive glance at the two men who were still passed out but Bones was very carefully regarding the two despite the pain the torturous day had brought him.

She made his eyes drop wandlessly and sent him to a deep sleep. She added a silent _muffliato_ as an added precaution and immediately put in place a detector charm at the entrance to the dungeons.

'What are you doing here?', Harry whispered into the dark.

'I..well, long story short .. I'm undercover.'

Harry nodded, understanding, overcome with his war persona in a fleeting look as his jaw hardened and his lips pressed in a thin line.

Hermione launched into a tirade of questions, 'What are _you_ doing here? Getting captured? How do you plan to get out? And how could you have been so reckless?'

'It was all orchestrated. Don't worry. I'm here to get Edgar Bones,' he motioned towards the said man.

'But how are you getting out?'

Harry grinned, 'The way we did it the first time round.'

'Dobby! Of course, house elf magic. They don't know about it yet in this timeline so they can't have warded the Manor against them yet. How could I have forgotten?'

'Happens to the best of us,' he reassured her, silently pressing his palms against her back, massaging away the knots of tension threatening her nerves.

Hermione nodded resolutely, 'Give it a few hours. We can't have you escaping on my watch. Next time Scabior comes in I'll help you retrieve your wand and then you can leave.'

Harry muttered, 'That's what I thought too, yeah. What will you do?'

'Leave it up to me. Meet you at The Three Broomsticks tomorrow at noon?'

Harry nodded his approval and made his way to Edgar Bones. Seeing the reluctance in Hermione's eyes he once again enveloped her in a warm embrace, 'I won't disappear on you, I promise.'

Hermione smiled at him sadly, 'You've been gone a long time.' She braced herself and sparing him a last glance she climbed up the stairs, once again locking the cell.

She turned to make her way to the hall hoping to corner Rodolphus and engage him in a clipped conversation to create a pretence.

'Took you long enough,' Scabior smirked, standing against the door with his arms folded against his chest, looking like a smug bastard.

Hermione stared him down, 'It takes a while to deal with a prisoner when he's being .. uncooperative. I'm sure you wouldn't want me to show you just how skilled I can be when annoyed. So if you'd please.. out of my way.'

Scabior glared at her but held his tongue, very much aware of the girl's social standing.

Hermione found Rodolphus sulking against the window as Bellatrix exchanged words with Narcissa in the opposite corner. It seemed Voldemort had left for the remainder of the night.

'You have to be more careful, Hermione.' He reproached her. 'That wasn't the first of his punishments for you.'

Hermione released a non committal grunt, 'I figured.'

'The Dark Lord is unrelenting. Believe it or not, you have his favour and so he held back.'

She raised a brow, 'Did he, now?'

Bellatrix yelled, 'You'd do well to control your emotions, you foolish girl.'

Hermione looked at her sharply, 'It doesn't concern you. I'd shut my mouth if I were you.' She wouldn't let her get the best of her. She wouldn't back down from a fight.

Bellatrix walked towards her, her steps calculated and menacing. She placed a cold finger against her chin, 'You have a foul mouth on you, don't you? How feisty! He may favour you for now, little one but the stars won't always shine over you and when he's finally done with you make sure I will..'

'Bella!,' Rodolphus warned sternly. 'You will not speak to my sister like so.'

Hermione spat, 'Come after me all you want. I'll be waiting. I do enjoy skinning rats like you alive.'

Bellatrix cackled, her head dipping down, 'Tell me, where does your spite go when it comes to a real fight? I have my eyes on you. Tread carefully, sister.'

Bellatrix strutted along her way outside. Narcissa followed, not before looking apologetically at Hermione.

Rodolphus mumbled, 'You give me a headache, the both of you.'

'When will Rab return?', Hermione asked.

'It could take some time. We can't be certain. We probably won't even have any way of communicating as long as he's gone. I do suspect he'll be gone for at least a month. You shan't have to worry. I will escort you whenever you require it.'

Hermione shook her head, 'I am more than capable of looking after myself, thank you. I merely wondered.'

Rodolphus looked at her with concern in his eyes. It always baffled Hermione. The love he had for her seemed true and genuine and yet his convulated views would never allow him to step away from his path down the evil ways.

He smiled, 'Will I see you for Christmas?'

Hermione lied, 'I don't think so.. I'm visiting a couple of friends.'

'It's a time for the family to be together.'

'I am sorry but Bellatrix is nothing less than a viper I'd very much like to eradicate.'

Rodolphus shrugged, 'Astounding.'

Hermione whispered, 'I will take my leave then.' She stepped out the hall, ensuring Rodolphus left the premises before hiding behind a tapestry. She waved her wand and muttered, ' _Imperio_!'

Scabior looked befuddled and quietly made his way down the steps leading to the dungeons, the stolen wands in his pockets, resting there since Bellatrix had given them away for safekeeping.

She followed after him, once again warding the area and hoping she wouldn't have to resort to lying her way out if caught.

She called out, 'Harry?'

Harry shuffled onto his feet from beside Edgar and met her halfway, taking away the three wands from Scabior. He traced his wand with tender hands and stuffed the other two in his robes. He went around to gather the two men and called out, 'Dari!'

With the sound of a faint pop Hermione saw a relatively tall house elf appear out of thin air and bow down to Harry.

'Master Henry?'

'As we discussed, take these men back to the Headquarters. Come back again when you've returned them safely. Make sure Nina knows of their presence.'

Hermione saw the elf walk upto the men and grasp onto them tightly before disappearing. She wondered briefly about the orders he'd been given.

_All in due time_ , she told herself.

Harry then stooped down and took Edgar's face in his, once again examining the extent of his injuries.

Hermione whispered, 'I would treat him but we're running short on time. I don't trust how long we can stay here.'

Harry nodded and picked the man's frail body in his arms.

Dari once again popped in, 'We may leave if Master is ready.'

Harry looked at Hermione one last time, 'Noon.'

'Noon,' she whispered, her voice breaking with the effort of seeing him leave. She knew she'd meet him only in a few hours but her heart cried out at another separation.

Harry kept looking at her, never once taking his eyes off of her frame, a similar battle raging his mind. His instincts screamed at him to take her away with him, his gut protesting at the idea of leaving her behind unprotected in Voldemort's lair.

His lips parted as he made to speak but before he could he was whisked away, once again separated from his best friend.

Hermione suppressed the shudder she felt rising and obliviated Scabior's memory. She checked and rechecked his memory thoroughly, safeguarding him against any intrusion of the mind.

Leaving him in his position of guard she practically ran away from the Manor, Apparating away to the Hogwarts grounds.

Now that she was truly away from danger she finally let herself feel the edging happiness inside her. The warm fuzzy feeling filled her, enveloping her and making her feel invincible.

Harry was here.

Harry was here and she'd be meeting him soon. They could be together now. They could fight Voldemort together. She didn't have to be alone anymore. She had her best friend. She had her brother in arms.

She walked around the grounds aimlessly, watching the sun rise over the clouds, turning the beautiful Scottish landscape into a shimmering fairytale like castle.

Hermione laughed as the wind picked up. She let her hair loose, her curls flying about her wildly as she skipped across the grounds to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. She let nature play with her as she soared upwards, turning into her mist like form and flying over the vast expanse of the woods below, a feeling of safety settled deep in her heart. She saw the snow laden trees become smaller and smaller and felt the winter morning sun beating down against her back.

All those nights she had spent crying seemed so long ago already. She had a purpose now.

_Keep Harry safe._

True, Rab had been there for her since the very first day and she loved him for it but he was no Harry. He didn't understand why she was the way she was. He didn't understand the reasoning behind her decisions.

This brought to her mind another tantalising possiblity. What if Harry disapproved of her actions? What if he was disappointed? Her smile dropped as she considered the betrayal he would feel.

But.. no. No, Harry would understand. If anybody would it'd be him. There was nobody in the world who would understand what an impossible choice meant. Nobody in this world had lived through the war they'd fought. Nobody knew.

But now she had Harry and she knew she finally had a chance at truly defeating Voldemort.

She rid herself of second doubts and heard the distant bell ringing and signalling breakfast.

She let out a sigh of contentment, flying back to the Black Lake and slowly stepping down to the earthly lands. She transfigured her robes into those of Slytherin green and went skipping across over to the Great Hall.

She could see Sirius running down the stairs, hurrying for breakfast, his necktie askew and his robes in a disarray.

Hermione smiled sweetly at him and forgetting all about her circumstances with the boys she leapt into his arms, shocking him into silence.

Sirius was almost knocked off balance if not for James who patted him at the last minute.

James smiled, grateful their friend was feeling so well again. He looked at the two, Sirius with a stupid grin on his face, his eyes pouring over every detail of Hermione's face.

She nuzzled into his shoulder, 'Good morning.'

Sirius barked out a laugh, 'Indeed it is!'

Hermione chuckled and left the two boys staring after her dumbfounded. She walked in with a huge smile adorning her face which was wiped off immediately after seeing the morose faces in the Great Hall.

She understood only a moment later as her eyes met those of Dumbledore's over the copy of the Daily Prophet held in hand.

Shame pooled in at the base of her gut as she realised how the events of the previous night had been pushed back into the back of her mind by the arrival of Harry. Dread clouded her mind as she dragged herself to the Slytherin table who seated the only students who looked cheerful. She spared a glance at Rookwood who sat smug faced, preening under the attention he was receiving.

Bile rose up her throat.

She risked a glance at the other three tables who were sending glares across at them, blaming them for the deaths that had occurred. They weren't entirely wrong, however, were they?

Hermione and Rookwood had been there. And they had hurt plenty of people.

She took the newspaper hesitantly in her hands, seeking out only the one statistic she knew mattered.

**_47_ **

Only five of the Death Eaters had been lost for the forty seven lives that had ended. One of whom was the little boy's mother.

Another pang of guilt hit her as she remembered his fear stricken face. All the happiness she had felt not very long ago had been wiped out as misery creeped in on her like an icy chill, numbing her brain.

'You know,' Kingsley mumbled, 'loyalty to your family, when blind, is not the most honourable thing. There's always a choice, Hermione.'

Hermione looked up at him, her eyes hollow and empty, all the warmth having seeped out, 'No. Not always.'

Once back in her dormitory, Hermione only listlessly cast a Shrinking spell on her trunk, walking upto the courtyard as ignorant of her surroundings as ever. She got in an empty carriage and settled in, her eyes closed.

Reggie entered not so soon after, having seen the guilt pooling around inside his friend during breakfast.

He sat beside her and squeezed her hand lightly, keeping his hand clasped in hers.

Hermione nodded at him gratefully. '47,' she mumbled. Just as she was about to mutter her thanks she saw a haggard looking Remus and Lily climb in, not knowing of the inhabitants of the carriage.

She saw Reggie glare at them, his nose wrinkling.

Lily looked up to find the strange party inside the carriage as they felt a familiar tug as the carriages pulled out of the school grounds and towards Hogsmeade train station.

'Oh, I.. well it's good to see you, Mi. How are you?'

Hermione shrugged, 'I'm well, thank you.'

They made small talk but Remus and Lily knew better than to push.

Lily muttered, 'Come on, Moony, don't sulk. It was only a joke.'

Hermione raised her brow. So Lily knew, now. What surprised her more was her attempts at justifying the Marauders' actions. Maybe she needn't have worried about Lily amd James getting toether after all.

Remus whispered, 'No, but they always do that. They should know better to rile me up so close.'

'You know Peter meant no harm. And whenever there's a ridiculous idea to be followed James and Sirius never stay behind, do they?'

Remus looked pained, 'Yes, yes, I know you're right. It's just difficult with everything that's been going on.'

Lily frowned, 'I know you haven't entirely forgiven Sirius but you have to someday.'

Remus looked away, his breathing shallow and labourous. He seemed more irritable than he usually felt. He put his head between his legs as Lily rubbed soothing circles on his back.

Hermione heard Reggie sigh and pull out something from the depths of his robes.

Reggie offered a piece of chocolate to Remus who looked at him like he was the strangest creature on Earth.

Reggie mumbled, 'Eat. It'll make you feel better.'

Hermione had known Remus' love for chocolates was unriddled but to find out his little comforting trick came from Regulus Black was something entirely different.

Remus hesitated but grabbed the small bar nonetheless after a sharp nudge from Lily.

'Uh.. thank you, Black.'

Reggie shrugged. 'It's the full moon, I know. I understand how horrible it must feel while your body's acclimatising once again. I can only imagine the pain which comes along with all your bones cracking at once.'

Remus looked thunderstruck as did Lily. All the blood drained away their faces as Hermione looked at her friend curiously.

Reggie whispered, 'Please.. don't worry. It's not my secret to reveal. You don't have to fear me.'

Remus backtracked, 'But how can you possibly know?'

'I am not blind. I see you every month. You disappear around the full moon. It wasn't difficult to connect the dots.'

Hermione felt the corners of her lips twitch. So much for hating muggleborns and half breeds. So much for wanting to be called Regulus.

But another part of her also felt dismayed and sad for the boy beside her. She knew why he looked so hard. He wasn't looking out for what was wrong with Remus.

No, he was looking out for Sirius, wondering how long it would take him to notice the brother he'd left behind in all the flurry of having found three new ones.

She hugged him briefly before sneaking off knce they'd gotten off at the station. She hid from the sight of the teachers onlooking the safe transit of children from the carriages onto the train.

She disillusioned herself, thanking the stars for having gotten rid of the Trace. She Apparated away to Three Broomsticks and found a spot she could easily keep a lookout for Harry from.

She once again felt an excitement bubble through, pushing away the gloom. Even her lack of sleep couldn't keep her from bouncing on the balls of her feet. She could almost chase her happiness, fluttering around like a butterfly.

She had to wait no longer than ten minutes for him to arrive. He was exactly on time.

She saw him walk towards the doors, dressed in a regal black cloak and holding onto a beautifully crafted cane bearing a silver lion at the top. His hair was surprisingly neat, his eyes as shiny as ever, a grin fighting its way onto his mouth.

Hermione removed the charm on herself wandlessly and ran into his open arms. She laughed lightly as he spun her around, dropping a kiss on the top of her head.

Seeing Hermione in her full glory, her cheeks blushed pink in the cold, unlocked something inside Harry he hadn't felt in years. He felt all the wonderful flavours of happiness flood him as he fell upon his best friend.

_If only Ron could be here too._

It almost seemed like they had had the same thought at the very same instant since their smiles fell away as if on cue, both of them seeking acceptance into each other's eyes.

Harry smiled at her and led her away, 'I think we should go back to my flat.'

Hermione nodded and felt the tug of Apparition at her navel. She found herself in the middle of a well furnished apartment, the walls of which were lined by newspaper clippings and other sheets carrying official data.

She peered at them curiously.

Harry, reading the question in her eyes, motioned for her to sit. 'All in due time, Mione.'

He took off his cloak and put his cane away revealing worn down jeans and a red sweater underneath. He placed a steaming cup of coffee in front of her and settled into the sofa beside her.

He grabbed her hand in his, unwilling to let go lest it all turn out to be a dream.

The two sipped their beverage silently for the first few moments, revelling in the presence of the familiar net of safety that had clouded them since they had first met.

Harry sighed and placed his arm round her shoulders.

'I have waited for you for a very long time,' Hermione whispered, leaning her head on his shoulder, breathing in deeply.

He asked, 'How long has it been for you?'

'A little over eight years.'

Hardy smiled at her ruefully, 'It's been four for me. I woke up in the body of Henry Obsidius Oakswood in 1973.'

Hermione looked at him with surprise marring the features of her face. 'You're the Oakswood heir!'

Harry chortled, 'The one and only.'

Hermione laughed, 'We were to be married.'

Hardy frowned, 'We were?'

'Yes! Papa told me he was looking into a betrothal with you.'

Harry seemed puzzled, 'You're the Lestrange girl?'

Hermione backtracked, dread filling her once again, scared about how he'd react. 'Yes, I am.. Hermione Lestrange.' She spat, 'A Death Eater.'

Harry nudged her shoulder lightly, squeezing her hand. 'Don't look so frightened, Mione. You're my best friend. I don't judge you. I accept all of you. I know you had a pretty good reason to go undercover. Hell, I can come up with loads of reasons myself.'

Hermione nodded at him gratefully. 'Tell me everything.'

'I don't think there was one in our.. time. A Henry Oakswood, I mean. I never came across his name but when I woke up here it seemed like he had a brilliant reputation. Fresh out of Durmstrang he expanded business into Europe in the year 1971. When I got here I had access to all his memories and all his contacts, which, let me tell you, are extremely resourceful. He had been quite the wizard back at school and had a huge following. Before I could delve deeper into my knowledge I looked for you. I figured since I was an adult, you would be too. So I checked in at various universities and programs looking for a sign of you but I never found even found a trace. You can imagine the loneliness I lived through. For the first few months that was all I did. I searched for you everywhere I could. I even visited King's Cross a couple of times but you were never there.'

Hermione explained, 'I've been flooing in since the last few years ever since Rodolphus started threatening my safety.'

'I couldn't check the records. The security was very tight. But I never gave up hope. I knew I had to begin with my plans soon so I just gave in. I remembered the ritual word by word. It said we would wake up where we were required. Where we'd best be able to help. So I thought it was just a matter of time before we found each other. Besides, I also remembered that Elladora had written something about being linked in soul and life. The person you do the ritual with will forever be a part of you. So I knew that if something was to happen I would .. feel it. It was a vague guess at best but I took all that I had.'

Hermione's brows scrunched up, 'I.. I never felt this.. bond.'

He shook his head, 'I didn't either.. I suppose.. you'd feel it when it was severed. You know what I mean?'

'I suppose I do, yeah.'

'I did get a little more solid confirmation. You won't believe it but turns out Trelawney made a new prophecy. She'd been looking for me.The prophecy mentioned you. I was to be the Chosen One. But it mentioned that a woman wrought in a war the world will never see shall be born in the snakepit to gather what He holds the closest. I gathered your role was to work at the horcruxes. And the fates had decided for me to kill him and his supporters. Every last one of them.'

Hermione bristled at the possibility of a new prophecy. 'Harry, who else knows?'

'Nobody else.' He shook his head, 'I arranged for a safehouse for Trelawney. nobody can ever get to her.'

I got to scheming soon after. And I came to the conclusion that I would do what I did best.' He smiled, 'I created an army.'

Hermione let out a small laugh, 'What? Come on.. really?'

He beamed, 'Yes, there haven't been many reports of my team but that's because I want it that way. It took me two years to assemble everyone so we've only been functional for the last year, so to speak. We're called The Resistance.'

'How original,' Hermione smirked.

Harry's head fell back laughing, 'God, Mione, you're a Slytherin this time round, aren't you? I can tell by the way you smirk.'

Hermione shrugged.

Harey mumbled, 'Draco would have been proud.'

She remembered his handsome face, 'Yeah, he would have.'

Harry shook his head and went on, 'Anyway, I have around a hundred men and women. These are all the people I've met during school or by virtue of my pureblood status coupled with how Oakswoods are basically royalty up in Bulgaria. It was a right shock to Henry's friends when he took on a British accent all of a sudden. I gathered everyone I knew would remain loyal. Voldemort's propaganda hasn't reached so far outside the country yet. And despite the prejudice, Durmstrang isn't all evil. Yes, pureblood supremacy exists but they aren't lost on their humanity. So everyone who wanted to rebel.. we got together and worked out ways of destroying him.

'Now I know the Order is strong. What concerned me was that the horcruxes aren't the only thing to be worried about. We've been given a second chance. And I haven't forgotten about them. I have already been working on the protections around the Gaunt cottage. The magic is so layered it's taken me months to complete my notes. But coming back to the Resistance my focus shifted to not jsut Voldemort but all those Death Eaters who remained free to roam the streets after the first war ended. There wasn't enough prrof to prosecute them. We have to eliminate this.. pest from its roots. So I worked on different schemes and came up with an intricate network that I have already set in motion. My spies will be everywhere in the next year or so. I already have seventeen Death Eaters being tailed. That's how I knew of yesterday's attack. It was Rosier. I combined Muggle technology with magic to come up with an elegant tracking spell. My friend Gustav was the one who managed it in the end. You would love him, Mione. He's brilliant.'

Hermione nodded, awestruck at all that he'd achieved already. 'Why not.. why not kill them just yet? All the Death Eaters you have under radar.'

'All the Death Eaters _we_ have under radar. We have to keep Voldemort distracted. If he gets wind of my project he will become overly cautious and then hunting horcruxes would become much more difficult than it already is. But I will keep it discreet. Rosier should be eliminated by the end of the month. So should the Carrows. This network we've built is very, very detailed. As soon as Voldemort is finished, my men will take it up to kill his Death Eaters in a way nobody would suspect. They have gotten into a routine.. into roles that help them be a part of their society. They will kill them and remove themselves from the picture very discreetly.'

'So we kill as many as we can without aorusing undue suspicion all under the pretence of a natural death?'

'Precisely.' Harry muttered, 'Now I know there are still many loopholes here but now that I have found you we can get to them. You are, after all, the brightest witch of your age.'

'How cheeky,' Hermione chuckled. 'But it really is brilliant, Harry. Compared to all that you've been upto I almost feel inadequate.'

Harry's face turned serious, 'Hermione, why _are_ you a Death Eater, then? Are you acting as a spy for Dumbledore?'

She nodded, 'Yes, I am but that's not entirely the reason. I always planned on getting in his inner circle. By the way.. why not unite with the Order?'

'I have been negotiating with Dumbledore. But he's distrustful of foreigners. He was the one who tipped me to get Edgar out. He lacks the manforce for missions as acute as this and I volunteered because I was meaning to go on a reconnaissance mission to the Manor anyway. I had to check for the diary but upon seeing you I figured I wouldn't need to.'

'The diary isn't there yet.' Hermione said, 'One of the reasons I joined was because it'd make easier to get to the diary and the cup. Besides, I wanted to be close to him so I could help assist the Order with every raid Voldemort sets out on. Each life matters. We can't just save the big names and ignore the others.'

Hermione launched into her own tale, telling Harry about spending the last eight year all alone. She told him about Rab and Papa and how things started going all wrong ever since his death.

'You care for Rabastan Lestrange. It sounds so wrong,' he mumbled.

Hermione chuckled, 'It took me a long time to overcome my repulsion of the family name too. I was itching to let them know how I'm a dirty muggleborn. Filth. It'd be a right sight to see how Rodolphus would take the information.'

Harry laughed, 'It would be. But Hermione.. you're risking yourself every day. Is it wise? We need to be very careful. If we die.. we lose any chance we have at winning this war. We can't be careless with our lives and you know it. I can understand your reasoning upto an extent. It would be beneficial if you can take out some of his men from the inside and all the intel you can pass on is undoubtedly essential to our mission. But I don't feel good about this. Voldemort is the most powerful Legilimens there ever was. How long can you go on fooling him? He will find out.'

Hmshe argued, 'Professor Snape did it, didn't he?'

'But Hermione.. to depend on something as trivial.. I just have a bad feeling about this.'

He got up abruptly and began pacing, his fingers pinching the bridge if his nose. He sighed, 'I can't lose you too.'

Hermione got up to hug him, 'And you won't. We've lost everyone, I know that, Harry. But we owe it to them to save everyone we can. Fabian and Gideon never have to die. Imagine how happy Molly would be. _Our_ Molly. It's a risk, yes. But I'm willing to take it. I'll fight as long as I can and at the slightest chance of being found out I will leave, I promise. Besides, Rab knows I'm a spy. He suspects I know something. He will always have my back. You don't have to worry about it.'

'What if Dumbledore figures out whatever you showed him? If he realises we're from a different time he may try to extort information ans tamper with the timeline.'

'I don't think he will find out. The idea of traveling so far back in time is preposterous.'

Hardy nodded and plopped down the sofa, 'I never thought we'd go so far back in time.'

'I expected to wake up sometime during the war. Never this. A filthy little mudblood becomes one of Voldemort's prized Death Eaters on a murderous rampant who just helped kill forty seven innocent people.'

She shook her head, tears now falling down her cheeks shamelessly. She bit her lip.

'Hey,' he took her in his arms, trailing his fingers along her arm, bunching up the material of her robes and pulling away her sleeve to look at her the Dark Mark on her skin. He caressed it. 'We all make impossible choices in a war and you know it. Putting another piece of our souls on the line. We bear it so others don't have to. You have been so brave. What you did had to be done. We can't risk you blowing your cover. You have the most dangeorus job in the world right now and you can't go drowning in self pity, Mione. You have to accept that saving the world will demand you to sacrifice lives. Hell, we got here because of a sacrifice. Accept it now, Mione, or you will die with the guilt. The Order would never have gotten there at time to get it under control if not for you. There was just a dozen or so of my people there.'

Her sobs were stifled at first as she attempted to subdue her grief but in the arms of the one person who knew it all.. who understood it all, she couldn't hide any longer.

Harry whispered, 'We can't save everyone.'

They remained silent for a moment, regarding each other knowing where their minds had taken them back to.

'I think about them every day,' Harry said, his own tears pooling in. 'Ron.. Ginny.'

Hermione smiled sadly, 'You still love her, don't you?'

He bit back a sob at the memory of the feorcious redhead he had once known, 'Don't you?'

Hermione's eyes lowered in shame. How could she face Harry and tell him she'd moved on from Ron. The boy who had died for her. How could she tell him she'd been so heartless to have so quickly given away her love to another.

He held her hand gently, 'Mione, what's wrong?'

'You'll hate me for it.'

He frowned, 'You can tell me anything. Don't go hiding things from me. Not now when we're finally together.'

Hermione felt conflicted. What if he shunned her away? But she couldn't lie to him. He was her best friend. He was her _person_.

'I.. I love Sirius.'

She saw the shock register on Harry's face. However, she was surprised to see a small smile play on his lips. 'Eight years is a very long time, Mione. And.. I suppose Ron would want you to move on. He'd want you to be happy. As shocking as it is to find out you've taken to chasing after my godfather I accept it.'

'You do? Just like that? Aren't you mad I'm betraying Ron?'

'You're not betraying him. He's.. he's gone. And you sure as hell can't go around running after a toddler telling him you love him.'

Hermione chuckled at his attempt at making light of the situation. 'If I make it that far.'

He squeezed her hand, 'You will. We both will. We will win this war and we'll live happily ever after. We'll live for everyone who gave up their lives for us. We owe it to them. To Ron and to Ginny and to Fred and George. To the Weslseys and Neville and Luna and Tonks and everyone else. We owe it to them. To our family.'

Hermione sniffed, leaning into his side.

Harry mumbled, 'When I bought this place I fixed a room for you too, you know? You can stay with me. I knew I'd find you one day.'

She shook her head sadly, 'I can't leave Rab alone, Harry. But I'd love to.' She chortled, 'You know I'll be spending all my time here, anyway.'

Harry stood up, offering her a hand. 'Come on. I know just the right thing to cheer you up.'

He Apparated them away to a cozy and an all too familiar English suburb. She gasped as she found herself standing in front of her childhood home.

Her home.

Hermione Granger's home.

Harry led her closer. She could see her mother fawning over her father, placing in front of him some gingerbread exactly the way he loved it. A smile lit up her face as she saw her father peck her mother lightly and pull her close to his side.

She felt tears spring up her eyes.

'I never thought I'd be this happy to see them again. It's been so long.'

Hardy nodded and gathered her in his arms. 'They look happy together, don't they?'

'They do.'

They spent another few minutes silently watching the Grangers go about their day, smiling and laughing and just being so, so blissfully happy.

It broke her heart when they set out at a slow pace, circling around colony, their bodies seeking warmth within each other as snowflakes poured down.

'Harry?', she prodded.

'Yeah?'

'Don't you want to see _your_ parents?'

He smiled sadly and shook his head, 'Not yet, Mione. I'm not ready yet.'

'Lily has the warmest smile, you know? She defended me in front of all her housemates once and trust me she sends the boys packing everytime they annoy her.'

She saw as Harry smiled, genuinely pleased. So she went on, watching as he took in every word hungrily, 'James is a wonderful boy. He.. he's everything, Harry and you'll love him. He's such a mother hen, I swear. Looking after everyone. Sirius is the clown. He messes up sometimes but he loves his friends fiercely. I can see how sometimes he can resonate with his family's oreachings. Very barely but he does. But what sets him apart is how he fights it. His beliefs will never let him succumb to the darkness. A true Gryffindor, he is. As for Remus, well you know him. Always so shy and wondering why everyone's so nice to him. He never stops to relaise just how lovely he is.

'And Peter..'

'Peter?', Harry said, his lips thinning into a line as he came to a sudden halt.

Hermione realised her mistake only too late. 'Harry, he's not evil.. not yet. I don't know what's going to happen to him for him to turn his back against Lily and James but trust me.. he's equally brilliant as the other boys. He's the one always sticking up for his friends. Remember how Sirius once let Severus fall across Remus during his transformation? The boys almost broke apart. If it hadn't been for Peter they wouldn't have stuck together.'

He shut his eyes, his voice cold. 'No. That rat.. he's a bastard. How can you? How can you defend him? How do you think my parents felt right before they died? I bet they thought they caused Peter to be tortured to have given up their secret. I bet they blamed themselves. But it doesn't work that way, does it? A secret keeper gives up his knowledge willingly and they knew it. I can only imagine how they'd felt that night.

I bet my dad came up with all sorts of theories as to why.. just why would his brother betray him so heartlessly. How heart wrenching must it have been for my mum when she saw her husband die because of a man she had called a friend. A man she had seen come over every weekend. A man she had fed and loved. Peter killed my parents, Hermione and nothing you say will ever change my mind about him. If he ever crosses my path, I swear to Merlin I _will_ end him.'

'Harry, he's not the person who betrayed your parents .. not yet. We can save him from going down that path.'

He shook his head, 'Never mention him again. _Never_.'

Hermione nodded, truly sorry for her slip up. She took his hand lightly, taking them back to the safety of Harry's flat.

She peered at the wall with all the clippings. 'This is all your intel?'

'Yeah, nobody can enter this place. Except for you, now. I've warded it better than Hogwarts. Trust me.'

Hermione chuckled, 'I bet you have.'

Hermione walked into the kitchen, making a mental note of where everything was kept. She set a kettle over the burner and removed her cloak.

She fished out some biscuits and returned to the living room to find Harry staring into the fireplace.

She bent down to drop a kiss against his fist curled up in anger. 'I am sorry, Harry.'

He broke out of his reverie and smiled sadly. 'I hope you can do it. Save him, that is.'

She nodded and leant her head against his legs, 'I missed you. So much.'

She felt Harry thread his fingers through her hair, 'I missed you too, Mione. I'm not going anywhere.'

She closed her eyes as she fell into the realm of sleep, dreaming of a Christmas spent at the Burrow as a redhead flicked rolls of paper at her, trying to distract her from her _light_ reading, and a raven haired boy laughed, watching his mates bicker.


	41. Chapter 41

 

 

**_ DISCLAIMER _ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Several dusty looking tomes thudded onto the top of the table as Hermione chimed in, 'Merry Christmas, Harry!'

Harry chuckled, removing his gloves and petting his cane gently before hugging her briefly and wishing her the same.

'What's with the cane, anyway?' Hermione wondered.

'Oh, it's a Henry thing, I suppose. I just never quit the habit.' He laughed lightly as he added, 'Besides, it gives me character.'

'You do realise _you_ are Henry?'

Harry shrugged, sitting down and peering at the books she had just carried in. 'Yes but I'm also not.. not really.'

Hermione nodded in understanding and poured some warm cocoa for the both of them, perching onto the arm of Harry's chair.

'I know what you mean,' she said, 'but I guess since I've been in here for so long it doesn't really make it a lot different for me somehow.'

Harry put a comforting hand on her shoulder, 'A name doesn't change who you are.'

Hermione clapped her hands together, biting into the glorious cake Harry's elf Dari had baked the previous night. 'How was the meeting with Dumbledore, then?'

'He's still not entirely sure,' Harry jumped at the change of the conversation, 'We're at a stalemate. But we do seem to have reached an understanding. We will help with each other's missions as far as possible without divulging to each other the prime goal of the organisation as well as the secrets.'

He tucked in one of the books in the crook of his arm, dusting it off and moving to settle in the more comfortable rocking chair by the fireplace. 'So is this all?'

'This is all I could find so far,' she answered, sitting down onto the floor. 'The library is enchanted. It gave me all that I presently need and nothing more.'

She had described to him the magic of the library that only she could access. It had proved to be quite a fest of knowledge for the duo as they brainstormed almost every night the different ways of getting past the protection around the Gaunt cottage.

Harry had handed over to her a total of forty five sheets of incredibly detailed notes pertaining to the seven layers of ward magic around the cottage. She would never have expected such a thing from Harry but apparently _Henry_ was something of a scholar.

Harry had already made it past the first five layers but every layer through meant that the wards only got stronger. Even with their combined efforts they hadn't really gotten very far.

'It's been four days and we're still stuck,' Harry muttered. 'I have to get back to the network. I've been stalling this off for so long now but I honestly thought we could get down to it together.'

Hermione agreed, 'It's rather infuriating, isn't it? If only I could pick apart Dumbledore's mind. I can't even begin to imagine how he managed the enitrety of this task all by himself. How peculiarly brilliant is he.'

Harry uttered a noncommittal grunt, 'If we could somehow get our hands on Voldemort's blood this would become so much easier but even with your position it'd be nothing but a death sentence for you.'

'Wards are constructed through the most complex magic, Harry. His blood would make it infinitely easy for us to simply walk through them but I suggest you forget all about it. There's no way we can get around all the manual research.'

He looked at her from over the top of his book, looking acutely at the title in her hands. He raised a brow, 'Why are you going through _The famous Legends_ _of the Past,_ Hermione?'

Her ears tinged pink, 'I know it's probably a stupid idea but I figured that a cursory glance across this text might help us out a bit.'

He grinned cheekily, 'It's never a stupid idea if it's coming out of Hermione Granger's mouth. But what exactly are you looking at?'

'You see, we only stumbled upon the Hallows through Beetle the Bard's tales mesnt for children. There was an inkling of truth there. Of course we could never tell if Death is a true entity but despite that his words cannot be entirely discredited. When I fell upon this book in the library this morning I felt that a little more knowledge of the Hallows might just be helpful in countering the curse that Dumbledore would have almost died of.'

'I still don't get it,' Harry frowned.

She took a deep breath, enunciating each word separately, 'I wonder if we can harness the magic within the Resurrection Stone to battle whatever curses have been placed upon the ring by Voldemort.'

'That sounds.. indigenous. But we don't even know where we could possibly begin researching that.'

'I know. But I've only just started. I'm sure I'll find something. The book details the various observed occurrences of the Hallows. Most of the legends primarily deal with the Elder Wand, obviously, but there are mentions of strange magic that have allowed people to bring back the dead. There are some very ancient runes accompanying each of the stone's illustration wherever I look. And they always translate into something very simple.'

Harry got up to look at the sketch her fingers pointed at. He read the translated words she had penned down on a spare piece of parchment. He mumbled, ' ** _Might is in the Magic of the Dead_**.'

Hermione rested her bare feet into the plush carpet, seeking solace from the firm leather in her hands. 'There aren't many details but it can't be a coincidence. Three completely separate incidences have pointed at the same little message. There has to be a meaning behind this.'

'We can't just blindly follow through without a backup plan, Hermione. You have to be very sure for this to work. We can't risk the curse affecting us. It would mean the end of our quest.'

'This is practically the most challenging horcrux to get our hands on. I don't know how much of it is the Stone's doing. Do you reckon Voldemort unknowingly sensed the power within the ring and therefore resolved to putting up such extreme measures of security around the house?'

'It sounds like a plausible theory. But I've never ceased to think about just how he managed to corrupt such ancient magic in the first place. If there is truly such strong magic within the stone why didn't it resist such exploitation of itself?'

'Some things can never truly be accounted for, I suppose. Not everything has a rarionale behind it. We know how you survived the Killing Curse because of something as immaterial as love.'

Harry shrugged, 'Not that I want to discourage you from your research but maybe you can focus on the curse itself.

'We know that it would have taken around a year to seal the deal. We know Dumbledore's hand turned almost coal black. Maybe we should look into an inventory of such curses and get down to a choice of a few. That way we could just perform the countercurse to each one till the time we can finally extract the ring from its hiding place.'

Hermione smiled, pulling out another old volume from the pile on the table. She turned to a page marred by a disgusting smell coming out in wafts and completely ruining the Christmas air around the tiny flat in the heart of Muggle London.

Harry shook his head, amused. 'Always a step ahead of everyone.'

Hermione glowed, 'I know it wouldn't do to rely on stories and myths. I've already cut down the list to a total of three curses.'

Harry nodded as he looked at the three curses highlighted by a wavy line below them against which were written down their respective countercurses.

Hermione pointed out, 'But we still need to figure out the last two layers before we can get to the actual horcrux, Harry.'

Harry looked thoughtful, 'If only it wasn't such sensitive information I'd have called in Gustav already. The bloke has a way of making you see things you would usually ignore.'

Hermione chuckled, 'Wouldn't that solve a lot of our problems? Sometimes I fear Rab is right. He keeps telling me all these secrets will kill me. There have been so many instances when I just wanted to run to someone to help me out. But every person you reveal yourself to is just another mind for Voldemort to plunder through. Fighting a war all alone is a terrible fate.'

Harry smiled, his voice reassuring, 'You're not alone anymore, Mione. We'll make it.'

The two fell into a comfortable silence, devouring as much as they could. They spent the entire night away pouring over the books Hermione had collected from her secret library, quietly progressing through page after page.

So deep into their research were they that neither noticed the sun rise, bringing along with it Christmas Day. It was only when Dari interrupted them with a promising breakfast that they broke away from their books, nibbling onto the simple toast Hermione had requested.

That evening as Harry threw himself back into research, Hermione attempted to read more into the Stone's history. She plundered through the only two books she could find on the Hallows even after her second secret visit to the Lestrange Manor. But there was no mention of how to activate the Stone if there was even such a thing that could be done. There was simply no way for her to find out how the magic within the Stone worked.

Could she risk a look into the Malfoy library perhaps? But if her own magical library couldn't come up with anything how could a normal library ever provide her with her much needed aid?

Time passed by at snail's pace. They did nothing but come up with various plans to tackle the problem at hand. But Hermione was still haunted by the thoughts that had become central to her mind those past few days.

'Obsessing over it will do you no good,' Harry said to her reproachfully on their last day together before Hermione would once again leave for Hogwarts. 'I can see the wheels of your mind turning but you know you'll never find anything to help you with the Stone's secrets. If your little library is as powerful as claim it to be, I don't see how you could find an answer to your problems anywhere else.'

'It's just not right! There has to be something somewhere!'

He walked around the sofa to stop her fingers from flicking around the knight. He looked at her sternly. 'Hermione, stop! I know your intent is pure but remember what Dumbledore said. Everyone who's hunted the Hallows has eventually lost their mind. This obsession is unhealthy and you know it.'

She sighed, reluctantly putting her knight away. Harry looked at the tiny chess piece sadly.

He commented, 'You know, _that's_ who you are.'

She looked at him quizzingly.

'In this war, _you_ are the Knight. Your moves are fuelled by intuitive leaps. The answer will come to you when you require it the most. And if you're really starving for more,' he chuckled, 'I'll take you to my Manor back in Bulgaria someday.'

She nodded halfheartedly, 'I'll drop it for now. But we're no close to the ring any more than we were back when the holidays began. We've spent the majority of our time together working on this riddle and we've come up with absolutely nothing. As much as I love the aspect of research I'm tired of feeling so inadequate. Coupled with that is the constant worry about Rab that plagues me almost all the time.'

He could sense it. He knew it wouldn't take more than a few moments for the gloom to set in. He knew she had spent almost a decade bearing the weight of the world all by herself but now that he had found her, he had vowed to himself to shelter the one small part of his family he still had left.

He couldn't afford to lose the very last piece of his old life.

So he took her arm, once again Apparating her away. This time he took her to the one place she would find the most pleasant especially at this time of the year. They landed right at the edges of the wards that surrounded the Burrow.

They could make out its faint shadow against the skyline, longing for the warmth they knew they would find within its safe confines.

They moved along its boundaries, their feet padding along the snow as their breaths came out in a synchronous gait.

Harry whispered, 'Rabastan will be back before you know it. It's only been a few weeks. You know how terribly long it took Hagrid with the giants, remember?'

She nodded, leaning into his side. They looked at the tiny house against the picturesque backdrop of the winter night.

'It sucks how we're so close to home and not really there,' Harry muttered, 'I want to blow them all up. All those Death Eaters. They took away everything.'

Hermione felt something tingle against her mind, 'Harry..'

He looked at her, confused by the sudden glee in her voice.

'Harry, that's it! We've been looking at it all wrong!'

He prodded, 'You know I won't get it until you spell it out for me, Mione.'

Hermione laughed, a beautiful sound that filled him with peace despite the darkness edging at his soul.

'Don't you see? All we have to do is blow the wards up! Why put in so much effort in breaking through them when we can just destroy them?'

Harry shook his head, almost disappointed now that his hopes had been crushed by the sheer idea of how preposterous her words seemed to be.

He said, 'We could do that if it wouldn't immediately alert Voldemort and obviously..' He broke away mid speech, realisation hitting him like a brick of ice.

His face split into a huge smile. 'Hermione, you are brilliant.'

Hermione stooped down, collecting the snow on the ground, turning it into a small ball and sending it flying at him.

She broke into a fit of giggles. 'Disintegrating an alarm is the simplest bit of magic.'

Harry joined in her carefree laughter, 'It seems stupid now, doesn't it? How can it be so simple? Merlin, this is amazing. All we have to do now is dismantle whatever alert system he's put in and simply make an explosion.'

Hermione grinned, mischief glittering im her eyes, 'Living with Fred and George is finally going to pay up.'

Harry nodded, his fondness for the Weasley twins sending him into an even deeper maze of euphoria. 'The wards, when blown up, would cause the cottage to explode too. But the Horcrux won't even be touched.'

'And even if the cottage falls into a rubble it wouldn't matter. If Voldemort ever visited it wouldn't be likely for him to leave the place unchecked if it looked all good but lacked the one thing he needed, anyway. So it wouldn't entirely be a loss for the cottage to be destroyed.'

'Three weeks from now is the next Hogsmeade weekend, right? That's when we strike,' Harry said with resolution.

He picked her up, laughing and spinning her around, both of them falling down with a soft thud, ignorant of the cold that seeped into their bones.

They stared at the expanse of the sky littered with the stars, hoping for their family to be looking down at them at that instant as they sought a long lost solace between the empty spaces that separated them.

Harry whispered, 'Merry Christmas, Hermione. We're one step closer to defeating him.'

She breathed in a sigh of relief, the sounds of an all too familair hymn reaching her ears.

'Can you hear it?', she asked.

Harry turned to look at the Burrow, standing in its solitude. 'Its beautiful. Can you imagine Bill and Charlie as kids? Imagine Percy as a toddler?'

She mumbled, 'Seems all wrong, I know. They're supposed to be here.. with us.. all of them.'

Harry found her gloved hand, bringing it up to his lips and dropping a chaste kiss, 'One day we will find them again and they will tell us how proud they are of us and we'll tell them how it was all to avenge them and how.. how we never stopped caring for them. Our family.'

Hermione felt her tears leave behind a chill against her rosy cheeks. She croaked, 'I want us to live, Harry. But what kind of world would it be without those we love the most?'

'Time will catch up with them and they'll be all grown up one day,' he said, not even believing the hollow words himself.

'But they won't be ours,' she cried.

'No, they won't. They will never be ours.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, please leave behind comments so I know what you expect and would like to see happen.. it'd also be great help if you dropped by suggestions on how to make it better :-)  
> thanks for giving this a go, y'all!


	42. Chapter 42

** _DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Only two days away from when she would finally be hunting the ring with Harry, Hermione found herself immersed into all the books the Hogwarts library boasted of. It would be a lie if she said she hadn't catalogued almost the entire library by now but she had hoped to find something, even an inkling of a mention of how to use the Stone.

She had failed miserably.

But that didn't keep her from training herself better for the task at hand. She remained ever so vigilant. She had gone through every defensive spell she had ever learned, sometimes even looking into a few more.

Apart from the constant worry about the upcoming weekend she had also found herself plagued by her frayed nerves when it came to Rab.

She had met with Rodolphus just days after she had returned to Hogwarts. Despite Voldemort not having called upon her so far she had been feeling extremely nervous for her brother's safety. She hadn't gone longer than a week without hearing from him ever since she had landed in this timeline.

It disconcerted her but did reaffirm how deeply she had begun to love him.

Hermione sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose, muttering under her breath.

Her steps were hurried, taking her away from the library only minutes before curfew would set in. Her feet dragged her to the dungeons. She had only just turned around the corner when she felt someone grab hold of her hand, startling her into raising her wand and pointing it at the culprit.

She looked up to find a slightly flushed looking James, not the least bit bothered about the danger he probably didn't even understand he was in. Recent events had only strengthened the war persona Hermione had never really been able to leave behind, not even with the promise of a new life.

James merely looked tired and broken. His fervent eyes sought hers.

Hermione's brows furrowed, 'What is it? What's wrong?'

James whispered, 'He won't listen to me or anybody else. He won't even open up. Please, just help me fix him.'

Hermione lowered her gaze in shame. Of course she knew what he meant. She knew who he was talking about. Even though she'd been busy with everything she had to prepare for she could never have overlooked the frail boy she had grown to love.

Sirius, ever since he had returned from the Christmas holidays, continued only to look paler day after day. His eyes looked empty deposited his booming laughter which was still heard every night at dinner in the Great Hall. But for someone who cared for him as much as Hermione did it wasn't very difficult to notice how he had only been putting up an act.

Word had it he had been disowned. Rodolphus had mentioned how Bellatrix had been extremely upset when Sirius refused to join the Death Eaters. He had also expressed how delighted torturing him had felt as punishment and a means to bend his will. It had surprised Hermione to know that Walburga had willingly allowed her son, no matter how unwanted, to be subjected to such torment at the hands of someone other than herself. She'd have though Walburga's pride would never allow such a thing. But Hermione had been wrong. Walburga had revelled in the way Bellatrix had crumbled his soul.

She vaguely remembered Sirius telling Harry how he had ran away from home when he was sixteen but she could never have imagined the severity of the situation. Walburga had certainly done a number on her children. Hermione had never not noticed the several tiny scars that marred Sirius' arms. Even his flawless face had suffered the brunt of a rather pointed end of his mother's wand that had left behind a tiny crescent shaped white scar.

She remembered Peter placating him, telling him how it could just serve as a reminder of his loyalty to Remus. The boys had laughed at such a ludicrous idea but Hermione had seen how it had helped him put up yet another facade just so he could deal with things the only way he knew how to.

By faking it.

It would have been a complete btreayal on her part not only to the friendship she harboured with Sirius but also Reggie. Although far fewer than the ones Sirius was marked with, Reggie too homed various small scars.

Hermione wouldn't lie amd say she hadn't felt cowardly at not even offering to help. But she had to maintain her distance. But she felt conflicted as she looked at the forlorn expression on James' face. She could make out just how terrible he felt. The weight of lifting Sirius' mood up must have been too much of a job for a regular sixteen year old especially one who had remained sheltered from the harsh truth if the world throughout his childhood.

Every instinct that she had told her to walk away and yet she knew she would help fix him. And then she would leave their lives for once and for all and try to make her amends if the fates ever allowed her to.

So when James begged her, she nodded her head absently, following him to the grounds and into the courtyard.

They fell upon Remus studiously practicing the Protean Charm as Peter nagged at him to help him with his homework. Sirius merely sat on one of the upturned logs, watching the scene unfurl.

Hermione cleared her throat, her voice laced with forced cheerfulness 'Boys, why don't we take the party inside?'

Sirius looked at her, shocked and a tad bit relieved. Remus merely raised his brow at her curiously while Peter just stared at her dumbfounded.

Hermione shook her head fondly, leading them to the one place she knew they wouldn't be disturbed.

Maybe it was time for them to find out another one of the castle's secret.

As the boys scrambled after her onto the seventh floor, Hermione closed her eyes requesting the Room to grant her a place she could feel at home.

She saw the boys gaping at the intricately designed door that had materialised onto the face of the wall they stood facing.

She tugged onto Sirius' hand, pulling him inside. She shouldn't have been surprised to find herself in the middle of the Burrow's living room. She really shouldn't have. But a gasp still escaped her lips as she settled into one of the sofas.

James looked around himself in wonder, the pain in his eyes having receded away a little. 'Blimey, what is this place?'

Hermione grinned, immediately falling back into the comfort of the boys' presence. It almost felt as if the last few months had never happened at all.

'This, dear, is the Room of Requirement. It takes the form of whatever you need the most at the moment.'

Remus looked thunderstruck. He took a hesitant step back when he saw a shelf of books appear into the far side of the room, an exact reproduction of what he had wished for only a second ago just so he could test the Room's abilities.

'Wicked!' Peter mumbled.

'I know, I know.'

Sirius smirked as he sidled up next to her, winking suggestively, 'You've been doing a bit of Maraudering of yourself, eh?'

Hermione blushed, 'I thought I was an honourary Marauder anyway.'

Peter chuckled, plopping down into the loveseat with James.

Remus was perusing the books as he said, 'So what are we doing here?'

Hermione looked at James. He shied away from his gaze.

Hermione decided to take the lead. 'It's been awfully long since we caught up, don't you think?'

Peter looked unsure, 'Well, you were so withdrawn all the time.. I mean, we were just scared and practically at our wit's end or we'd have been having this little gathering long ago.'

Hermione looked ashamed, feeling guilt seep into her with the realisation that she would soon be breaking their hearts yet again. This last meeting would only serve as reminder of her betrayal to them.

But she, like any other human, was a selfish creature. And so she would revel in their presence one last time before she had to give up her friendship.

She carefully drifted the conversation to where she wanted it to go, 'So what's been keeping you guys so quiet these days? Not a single prank since term began. Hell, even some of the Slytherins miss the chaos despite how you're always using us as the butt of your jokes.'

Remus and Peter looked sheepishly at each other as Sirius tensed up, his lips set in a tight line.

James muttered, 'Padfoot here has been a little force of gloom.'

Sirius looked at him sharply but Hermione deflected whatever spat they were bound to set on by taking his hand in hers. She traced the fresh scar along his fingers, touching the puckered skin gently.

She mumbled, 'Why haven't you asked someone to heal it?' He shrugged so she went on, 'When did she do this?'

'Christmas Eve. Ran away soon after.'

'Turned up at my door, drenched and bleeding. Imagine the fright he gave me,' James supplied, shivering despite the cackling fire in front of him.

'You ran away?' Hermione prodded, 'What happened?'

Peter patted Sirius' back, urging him.

Sirius loosened his tie, taking it off, 'Bella visited us that night. Mother demanded my presence. She asked me very kindly to join Bella for the evening and enter Voldemort's ranks. I said no and,' he removed his cloak, lifting the front of his shirt to reveal several bright red jagged lines running along his muscled chest, 'this happened.'

Hermione rubbed at her eyes. She shook her head and moved to sit beside him, once again taking his hand and fingering his scar. 'Tell me what happened next.'

Sirius looked reluctant. Hermione saw in him a semblance of the older Sirius she remembered. The same hollow eyes. The same emptiness within.

'I left. Reggie helped floo me to the Potters.' He said, in a montonous voice devoid of any emotions, as if the very act of speaking betrayed him, 'He cleaned away as much of my blood as he could. He healed whatever wounds he knew how to and flooed me to the Potters and .. and all I did was leave him alone in the snakepit to fend off those monsters.'

She leaned into his side, holding him as he broke into dry sobs. 'I left him all alone when all he did was finally liberate me from the shithole my life is. I was supposed to be the one to look out for him. And what did I do? I left him.'

She lay his head gently in her lap, murmuring sweet nothings. He scrunched up her robes in his fist, his whimpers unlocking a sadness within her.

He whispered, 'I was five when it began. She hit me with a simple Stinging hex. But the next morning Reggie was so upset that he purposely went and ruined all her rose bushes, you know? Just so I didn't have to suffer alone. She found out, obviously. Even though she doted on him she set after him, intent on teaching him a lesson lest he become a petulant little pest like myself. She chased him down the stairs. And when he tripped over the last step and split his lips she wrecked havoc everywhere.

'Can you imagine? She was miffed because he'd gone and gotten himself in trouble, not because he was hurt. That was the first time I pushed him away as she sent another curse hurtling at him. All ready to take the bloody Cruciatus meant for a four year old. A four year old, Mi. Just four.'

His tear stained face looked so broken in that moment as he lay in her lap, his hair in a disarray and his silver eyes in the middle of a raging storm.

'It became instinct then. I would just step up in front of him every time she came at us. I never resented him for being the better son. I was glad that he was even if it saved me at least a little of the trouble. He's my brother and I've failed him. Who will protect him now? I know what I've done. I let him become this. All these years and I saw how he was slowly convulated and twisted into their shadow and I never said a word. I never stopped stepping up to bear the brunt but I never realised I had to protect his mind too.'

Hermione muttered, 'It's not too late. You can still help him. We all can.'

He looked at her, stricken. 'And here I thought you were friends with him.'

She frowned, 'I don't understand.'

He clutched his head, tearing himself away from her embrace, 'Of course you don't.'

'What's going on?'

Peter muttered, 'He's going to be initiated next summer, Mi.'

'But we can still help him! We can help change his mind. He will listen to you, Sirius. You only have to try. Trust me, he still cares for you very much. If he didn't he wouldn't have heloed you escape.'

Sirius held up a hand, 'Please, stop. He's already decided his fate. It's too late.' He thrashed his hands, throwing away the books the Room had supplied for Remus, mumbling under his breath, 'Always spewing bullshit. His pureblood supremacy crap is too much and I'm done with it.'

Hermione bristled up. 'Have you even talked to him in the last few years? Stepping in for his punishments is not enough. Do you know how lonely he's been? You keep running away to the Potters. Who does he have? Where will he go? He's left alone with that rotting woman and her ideals. The poor bloke hasn't had a normal summer ever since you decided your brother is a snake.'

His eyes glared daggers at hers, 'Don't tell me how to be a good brother. You know nothing.'

'Oh, I happen to know enough, Sirius. If you leave him be today you're going to regret this very much. This _will_ come haunt you someday.'

The vein in his froehead pulsed and his curled fists were almost on the brink of knocking something out. It almost seemed like he was going to push himself into another volatile bout of rage, the infamous Black insanity creeping up on him, but then something happened. Something broke and his chest deflated as his eyes softened.

'I'd have done something if there was a possibility he'd listen. I don't suppose I'm much fmaily to him anymore. Not after he's become so chummy with that dunderhead Rookwood. Don't you think I see him terrorising muggleborns in corridors? He's lost himself to the madness. But.. I .. I don't want to have to lose you too just because you decided to defend Death Eater scum.'

Hermione found herself at a loss. She looked at the three boys sitting across from them. James looked terrified and shocked. Remus kept his face neutral and Peter only stared back at her with an intensity that scared her.

She mumbled, 'Oh, Sirius.. I don't know what to say..'

He chuckled darkly, 'Say nothing.'

Hermione felt tears prick her eyes. She got up on wobbly feet and wrapped her arms around him. 'I am so sorry, Sirius. If only I knew, I'd have..'

He pushed her away gently, 'You'd have what, Hermione? What would you have done? Nobody could have helped me.' He rubbed his face anxiously. 'You've been gone for some time now. Don't you dare tell me you could have helped me.'

Remus' stern voice interrupted Hermione's cries of protest, 'Padfoot, she's been grieving. Have some respect!'

'Grieving?!', he thundered, 'Haven't we all? Hell, I was almost as close to Papa as I should have been to my own damn father. Haven't I been mourning him? Haven't I been _grieving_?'

Hermione covered her mouth, aghast.

She saw as Sirius threw away the china set on one of the tables. He leaned against the wall, croaking out, 'Mi, I am sorry.. but he meant something to me too.. and you know that. You, Rab and Papa have been the only family I have. Reggie and I have never felt at our home what we felt with you. I know how hard it's been for you but I only wish you'd let me help you so we could deal with this.. pain.. together.'

Hermione felt her heart break. She didn't blame him for the resentment he harboured. She had known all of that already. She had known she was hurting him but almost a decade alone had made her wither away. She'd felt so weak.

How could they expect her to carry not only herself but her brother and now Sirius too?

'Sirius, I never.. I never meant to hurt you.'

'Don't say that, please,' he begged. 'I needed you. And you needed someone too, Mi. But you shut yourself away from everyone! We were supposed to be in this together.'

She felt Peter squeeze her hand. She nodded at him gratefully but let go. She had to do this alone.

Moving to stand before Sirius, she whispered, 'It was never my intention to cause you pain. I know how tormenting it must have been for you and I am so sorry. But I'm not going to let you yell at me telling me how I should have dealt with my pain. Your anger is misplaced. You can't blame me for being human.'

Sirius threaded his fingers in his hair, 'That's not what I'm saying.. you misunderstand me. What I'm trying to tell you is that it's been _so_ long. Hermione, we need each other. I need you.' He slid down the wall, falling down with a soft thud, 'Can we please just go back to how it was before real world got in the way?

'I don't even know who I am anymore. I was almost bloody ready to go with Bella that night just so it could all be over. But I couldn't .. not when I had you guys with me. I chose not to go. But every night before I sleep I'm haunted by how pathetic I'd felt. How weak. I was ready to give up for Reggie when he doesn't even care anymore.'

James pacified him, holding him abreast, 'Mate, you did the best you could. It's time to let go of all the anger and the resentment. Please. You're not just hurting yourself. You're hurting us too.

Peter scrambled up to him, 'That was never your family. We are.'

Hermione almost expected Remus to join them but she saw in his eyes utter heartbreak. She could take a guess, of course. After all Remus had seen first hand how Regulus had chosen not to be cruel and cowardly when armed with a secret that could potentially safeguard his position within the Slytherins better than anything else could.

In the eyes of the pureblood society ruining the life of a half breed such as himself would be the greatest pride.

Sirius took a moment to breathe in deeply. He seemed to lighten up then, his eyes crinkling with mischief once again, pushing away all the horror aside.

He smirked, 'You reckon this place can provide us with some epic rum, Prongsie?'

James laughed, 'You judt read my mind, didn't you?'

Hermione interrupted, her voice stern 'You will do no such thing.'

James pouted, 'Women. Always a buzzkill.'

Sirius leaned against the plush cushions, his arms supporting the weight of his head, 'I'd love to hear what Walburga would say when she finds out her oldest son is aiding the Light.'

Remus muttered, 'She's blasted you off the tapestry. I don't think she'd care.'

'Oh, she will,' Peter sniggered.

Hermione questioned, 'What are you talking about?'

James answered, 'Dumbledore not so subtly asked us to directly join the Order. Padfoot and I do enough eavesdropping as it is whenever the meeting's over at our place so he knows we're aware of their agendas. See, the Order is this secret organisation that..'

'I know about the Order,' Hermione snapped, suddenly enraged at the idea of Dumbledore once again hunting down children ti fight an adult war.

Peter claimed, 'We will catch so many of those bastards and hurl them into Azkaban. However, if it was up to me I wouldn't bother. They ought to be killed at sight with the way they're going.'

'Ruddy buggers, aren't they? Would blow them to piece, if it was me.'

Remus dragged himself a little ways away from the others. Hermiome followed, surprised at the moroseness in his gait.

He propped his elbows on the table, 'They're fools. Desperate for glory. This war will be the end of everything.'

'They're just children,' Hermione offered half-heartedly. 'They don't know any better. But that's no excuse.'

Remus shook his head, whispering words from a poet Hermione had all but forgotten. 'The Old Lie, dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.'

**_*It is sweet and honourable to die for your country._ **


	43. Chapter 43

** _DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Hermione rushed out of the Great Hall the next morning, hurrying towards the greenhouses to attend Herbology. The acutely mundane nature of the act of going to school packed among her days spent scheming against Voldemort and those spent tricking him seemed almost hilarious.

She sighed as she slung her bag across her shoulders, revising all the important plant names she'd need for the coming class. So caught up in herself, she ran into a soft, pliable body that fell down promptly to the ground.

Hermione cried out, aghast, 'Oh, I'm so incredibly sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going.'

She extended her hand to help Marlene up, who only accepted it grudgingly. She stood up and brushed off her robes, smiling at her tightly.

'Are you hurt?', Hermione ventured, unsure of the sudden wariness in Marlene's gait. They had been considerably warm to each other in the past.

Marlene shook her head, avoiding Hermione's eyes.

'I really am sorry. I wasn't even thinking.'

Marlene looked up at her then, shrugging her shoulders sadly, 'I don't think you are sorry enough.'

Hermione frowned as she saw her gather her things, her tiny frame bent over. She used a simple spell to sew her bag shut and looked up at Hermione.

'You are a very lucky girl. You know that?'

Hermione was truly puzzled now. She couldn't help but notice how utterly distraught the girl in front of her looked.

'I don't blame Sirius. I don't even blame you, to be honest. I really don't. I always did know he cared for you and only you. Knowing I was only going to be a fleeting affair for him, I still agreed to it. I'd say it was my fault in most ways. But I had still held onto hope. Funny how things never work out the way you want.'

'Marlene, I don't think I understand.'

She smiled ruefully, 'He has been so distant lately. He wouldn't even tell me what transpired between him and his family but one word from you and you had him running back to you despite how you haven't even spared him a glance all these months,' she explained. 'He ended things with me this morning in hopes that you'll finally acquiesce to your feelings.'

Hermione gasped. She should have been happy, perhaps, to know that Sirius cared for her but all she felt was guilt and revulsion for herself.

She had just stolen from him any little inkling of happiness he may have shared with Marlene.

'Don't run from him again, Hermione. Don't ever give him up.'

Hermione couldn't even apologise before Marlene hurried away, a blur of red and gold in the distance.

With lead in her feet, Hermione dragged herself to attend all of her classes that day, all the while blaming herself for ruining everything. She had become such a curse. Such a .. pestilence.

Sucking away the marrow of life from everyone who steered close to her.

She itched to just leave and find Harry. But she deserved no solace. She eas the reason behind Marlene's pain so she would suffer too. In repentance.

When dusk gathered she willed away the memory of Marlene with red rimmed eyes into the crevices of her mind, intent instead on hunting down the younger Black.

The need to talk to him only intensified as she saw him push around the food in his plate heartlessly. She had to change his mind.

So when Reggie left the Slytherin table that night, Hermione followed him, hot on his heels, trying to keep up with his long strides, stealth and quiet accompanying her.

She was intrigued to see him make his way up to the Astronomy Tower. She shivered at the very idea of confronting him as the cold winter wind lapped against their robes.

As the steps creaked under the weight of her feet, she saw Reggie's back straighten up. She saw him shake his head and mutter, 'I know you're there, Mi. Nobody else would even try to be that sneaky and still make so much noise.'

She took personal offence at that. She knew she was good at sneaking up on people. Reggie was just too damn observant of his surroundings.

Reggie hovered behind, jerking his head for her to lead the way.

_Always such a gentleman,_ Hermione smiled to herself.

They reached the top, both of them leaning against the railing laden with chilled dew, watching the tiny snowflakes fall.

'It's so cold up here. What are you doing out of the comfort of your bed?'

Reggie shrugged nonchalantly, 'The cold helps clear my mind.'

'The dungeons aren't any warmer,' Hermione chuckled, silently casting a few protective charms around themselves.

'Might I ask why you were following me or have you now taken a fancy to me instead?'

Hermione laughed softly, 'You're like a kid brother, Reggie.'

'It's Regulus, please.'

Hermione smacked his head, the most un-pureblood thing she had done ever since landing in this strange world.

Reggie cried out, touching the sore spot on his head tenderly, 'Dear Lord, woman, what was that for?'

'Stop insisting on wanting to be called Regulus. What's the deal with it, anyway?'

He ignored her, choosing to carefully regard his fingernails.

'Oh, honestly, you're almost as vain as that brother of yours,' Hermione commented.

He snorted very uncharacteristically, 'What brother? Oh, you mean Sirius, do you? _Brother_ , my arse!'

Hermione was shocked at such open hostility. Reggie had never before expressed his anger over him in such an uncouth manner.

She hesitated, unsure of how her words would be perceived, 'He told me about what happened over Christmas. You helped him run away.'

He mumbled, 'A favour to myself. I was quite tired of his whimpering. Quite a dampen when you're trying to feel festive.'

'Feel festive at Grimmauld place .. with Walburga?' She snarked, 'Yes, I do believe that.'

Reggie hid his face from her, using his raven couloured hair to shelter his emotions from her prying eyes.

'Reggie, I know how it must feel. Walburga and Orion are going to expect you to fill in his place beside Voldemort.'

'The Dark Lord works for a just cause,' he claimed. 'I'd be honoured.'

'And what part of you truly believes that?'

He turned towards her then, 'Hermione, as much as I care for you, I will not have you ridicule me so. I stand up for you because you are my friend. I ignore your disrespect and your true feelings about the Dark Lord only because you mean something to me. But never mistake my discretion for misplaced beliefs on my part.'

'You don't mean that,' she said, her voice hard and unbending.

He shook his head, 'I can't make you see me for who I truly am.'

'Oh, really now? And who are you, Oh Wise One? Do enlighten me.'

He looked at her sharply, his silver eyes looking predatory, 'Don't push me, please.'

'This is not you, Reggie. Let me help you. You don't have to do this.'

'I do, Hermione. Why did you take the Dark Mark, then? Out of family obligations, isn't it? As much as I hate how Mother has treated myself and Sirius, I can never just abandon her or Father. No matter how much I despise them, they're still family and I want to keep them safe. I'd do _anything_ to survive this war.'

Hermione lowered her gaze, 'You'd be fighting for the losing side.'

He retorted, 'And you would be right there next to me.'

'Reggie.. please..'

He raised his hands to keep her away, 'No, you don't understand. You will never understand.'

She yelled, 'Then make me!'

His face turned pale, pained and suddenly broken. 'Hermione, I have nobody to run to. I.. I don't want to be a _Death Eater_ ,' he spat, 'but I have no choice. Sirius did. He has Potter. He has another family. Who do I have?'

'You have me! We can go to Dumbledore and he will keep you safe!'

'And would he extend his kindness to my parents? Would he? I know they don't deserve to be saved with the sins they've committed but they're family nonetheless and it is my sacred duty to protect my House no matter how much I wish to never have been born into it.'

_A loyal son._

'You'd be giving up your life. You will die before the war ends, Reggie.'

'So be it,' he said, his voice resigned.

'How.. how can you care so little about yourself?'

'My compliance would ensure my family's safety. What else could I need? I won't be leaving behind anyone to truly miss me. Mother and Father would only miss the loss of an heir. They wouldn't mourn me.'

'You'd be leaving behind Sirius! He would break! He would torture himself! He would blame himself!'

His lips twitched, laughing darkly, 'Even now you care only how it would affect Sirius, don't you?'

Hermione backtracked, guilt clouding her emotions. 'I.. I didn't mean it like that.' She breathed him in. Cedar and sandalwood. She felt a tear slide against her cheeks. She croaked, 'I would miss you.'

Reggie felt some of the walls he'd so carefully drawn up crumble. 'It'll pass like everything else does.'

'Reggie, he still loves you. All will be forgiven. Please. Go back to him.'

'You know the year he left for Hogwarts? I was so lonely. When Mother received news he'd made Gryffindor she was so, so angry. She lashed out. She woke me up in the middle of the night for a very important lesson. She drilled into me how essential it was for me to respect my roots.. for me to never allow such an abomination to occur when my time came. She would often corner me, slap me and hurt me. She kept telling me how Sirius had abandoned me willingly.

'My ten year old mind refused to believe it. I absolutely abhorred the idea of something like that ever happening. So I kept fighting back, confronting her lies. And she would punish me even worse. She kept reinforcing it day after day after day. It had been weeks since I had heard from him. In the beginning he wrote me a tonne of letters but they were always about these boys he had met.. these _brothers_ he had found. But I only ever felt happy for him. I really did. But then his letters came in less and less. Until one day I realised there would not come another. That was the day Walburga finally turned me into a docile little dog.'

In the half light of the moon he looked exactly like the shadow he'd become.

'At first I was angry. Rage devoured me. When I landed here and got sorted, I was so angry at how he brushed the entire thing away as if it didn't matter. But I knew it did. He made an effort in my first year. I won't discredit him. He really did try but he was always so busy with his pranks and all the attention and his _brothers_. So he slowly went further away. Slowly slipped away from me. Our conversations became far and dispersed. And then my rage turned into bitterness. Bitterness is always worse because..'

'Bitter lasts,' Hermione whispered, supplying the sentiment for him.

'For the longest time I fought myself. I fought against Mother but every summer.. every holdiay, Sirius kept leaving me alone to fend off for myself. How long could I hold up against her? I was nothing but a child with only a house elf for company. I knew what she was doing. She was brainwashing me.. drawing a wall between us. I knew it. I _saw_ it. But.. he kept slipping away from me and.. and I lost it, Hermione. For a time I swear I felt overly zealous for a cause I didn't truly ever understand. All our housemates kept taunting me.. shaming me for having a traitorous brother. They kept baiting me, asking me to prove myself. So I turned into this .. _shell_.'

His voice chilled Hermione to her core. It was so devoid of emotions.. so empty.

'I don't know what happened but one day.. all of a sudden, I began questioning myself again. My questions only brought me more heartache. _Why wasn't I enough? Why can't I be brave too?_

'I tried so hard to reinstate my relationship with him but it seemed Time was against us. He never had enough of it for me. I know he never stopped loving me. But he made a choice. He chose them over me. And I don't resent him. I am glad he has them. I am glad he won't be dying for that pathetic excuse of a man.

'But I never had a choice. I will do whatever it takes to maintain the sanctity of my House. To maintain my family's safety.. I will do whatever it takes. Because however twisted and demented they may be,' he broke into a silent sob, 'they're all I have.'

Hermione squeezed his hand, hugging him from behind and conveying to him all her love. She rubbed her hand up and down his arms, holding him as he fell to the floor, the weight of his sorrow finally unfurling. She felt tremors run along her own body at the misery she felt emanating from the boy.. from the child in her tight embrace. Her voice wavered as she cooed into his ear.

'Reggie.. hush, now. I'm here, okay? _Listen_ to me. I want you to come to me whenever you feel distressed. Please, you're not alone. I will never turn you away, I promise.'

She took his face in her hands, levelling him with a steady gaze. 'I know it hurts. It's hard to breathe sometimes. You've survived this alone so far but not anymore. We're in this together. _Together_!'

She saw the conflict in his eyes. She knew he wanted to keep himself safe from any more false promises but she also saw the need for acceptance.

'Together,' he mumbled, rolling off the word, testing the waters. ' _Together,_ ' he whispered once again.

She smiled at him warmly, dropping a kiss on his head and pulling him up. She hugged him lightly and led him away back to the dungeons.

She giggled, 'If you want we can just run away.'

Reggie chortled, 'Slow down, Mi, don't go making promises you cant keep.'

She felt comforted seeing him call her that. 'Light up now. You're not alone. Drop the Mr Moody face and give yourself up to the night!'

Hermione honestly didn't know the source of her jubilant cries but whatever it was, she'd take it. There was hardly enough to be happy about these days.

They walked hand in hand, tearing down the corridors in their new found shelter.

'I won't lie but it honestly hasn't been an easy r..,' her words stuck in her throat as her eyes registered the scene before her.

Her blood boiled at seeing Rookwood and Avery terrorising a first year Ravenclaw some part ahead of them. She had only just whipped her wand out when she heard a pair of feet shuffling towards her and Reggie from their left.

She could faintly hear Sirius, 'I don't know how to explain it. But she's something to behold.'

Lily laughed in the distance, 'You've got it bad, Black. As much as I'm angry on behalf of Marlene, I do agree it's been a long time coming. Everyone knew you would end up with Mi in the end. We even have a bet going.'

'It's so easy to just lose myself when I'm with her. But she's not the kind of girl you can woo with flowers, is she? I'll have to go all out.'

Hermione's heart broke. There she was listening to the boy who had stolen her heart, hammer away about his feelings for her to another.

Oh, how she wished for things to be different.

She would never feel the joy of hearing him say it to her face, possibly as he caressed her and showered her with kissed.

But this was real life. Not fantasy.

She faltered as she heard him whisper, 'If this is how strongly James feels for you I don't understand how he hasn't been crushed by the weight of his feelings. I swear to Merlin, Lily, I .. I .. well, she's everything. She walks in and it's like coming home.'

Hermione knew she had to end this. It was time to come clean. She owed it to the boys. They would never rest. They would never leave her alone. Their goddamned morals would never allow them ti abandon one of their own.

It was time to disintegrate the pack.

The weight of what she was about to do devastated her. She'd never be able to look Sirius in the eye and tell him she loved him. Even if the day came when she could tell him why she chose to blatantly break his heart she knew she would never earn his forgiveness.

After all if there was one thing that Sirius Black could never tolerate was disloyalty.

She looked at Reggie, putting her finger against his mouth and walked up to Rookwood and Avery, painfully aware of the approaching footsteps.

Heavy. That's all she felt.

Heavy.

Schooling her expression into that of disdain, she leaned against the wall, playing carelessly with her wand. She saw Reggie follow her and study her curiously, anticipating her next move.

'I never thought you'd need to terrify a child to ascertain your manhood, Rookwood,' she jeered.

Rookwood smirked as Avery chuckled. 'Ascertain my manhood?' He laughed, 'Please, Lestrange, many a bird will witness to it. I just find myself incapable of passing up a fair opportunity to put mudblood filth in its place.'

Hermione barely heard the stifled gasp from behind her. She knew it had to be Lily.

_Let me brave,_ she prayed.

The pudgy little boy spoke up, 'I'm not scared of you, you hear me?'

The duo laughed wholeheartedly as Reggie tensed. Rookwood leered at the boy, fingering his wand, making the boy whimper in fear.

Hermione braced herself but no amount of Gryffindor courage could ever prepare her for how vile she would have to be. She sneered at the child, 'Feisty little one, aren't you? You think this is a joke?'

The boy cowered under her intense gaze. The silence was so thick she could almost feel the shock rolling off of the hidden Gryffindor duo behind her.

'How about this?' She bundled up her robes, pulling the cover off of her forearm, unveiling to the boy and Sirius and Lily the truth of her identity. 'Does this terrify you enough?'

'You-know-who's mark!'

Venom oozed into her voice, 'How incredibly Ravencalw.' She towered over him. Seeing him cower sent shivers down her spine, the scene reminiscent of the carnage at the village where she had been so ready to burn a child alive.

_Who have I become?_

Rookwood grinned crookedly, 'It's a shame, really. Why do you still keep hanging out with those blood traitors? We'd have so much fun together!'

Hermione knew she had to twist the knife in deeper.

'It's just a ploy, Rookwood. Those fools think I care for them. Potter would believe even the Dark Lord has some good in him. He's such a nuisance.' _He's everything a man ought to be._ 'Black is no better.' _He's everything I could ever need._ 'It's thrilling to know I have him wrapped around my finger. Those idiots will run to Dumbledore as soon as they graduate. Dragging out information from them will never be a difficult task. They will be put to good use.'

Avery huffed, 'Whatever the case is, Lestrange, I don't much care. What do we do with the boy?'

Reggie cleared his throat, 'Honeslty, let him go. He's almost ready to wet himself. I'd rather not concern myself with cleaning his crap.'

Rookwood had other ideas. 'But he'd set such an excellent example. Don't deny me my fun.'

Hermione had no idea how she'd protect the boy. How could she discreetly send him away?

She didn't have to think long for Lily chose that very instant to make her presence known.

'Lestrange,' she yelled, all the fondness from minutes ago wiped out from her stance.

Hermione turned around, her arm still bare. She dared not look up.

Lily pushed the little boy away from the Slytherins, briskly pulling out her wand and pointing it at Hermione's throat.

Hermione swallowed. She acted surprised and harboured an expression that spoke of how she felt mortified at having been caught.

Every movement her muscles made felt like a burden. She felt, not heard, Sirius step up. Risking a glance at him, she only ever saw a stone cold fortress protecting his emotions from her.

His eyes were empty of any feeling. His mouth set in a thin line.

Sirius Black had managed to evade the infamous rage belonging to his family that night. He had felt all earthly feelings abandon his body as the world came crashing down on him.

Hermione knew just how much damage she had done.

_He won't explode._

_He will wither away._

Lily managed to bark out, 'I never expected this of you.. you.. you helped me.. and now you're one of _them_.' She croaked, 'How could you?'

Hermione immediately stepped into her Death Eater facade. She looked down at Lily, 'Shut your trap, you oaf. Time for pretences has passed.' _Lily Potter. Sweet Lily. Lovely Lily_. 'You filthy little mudblood!'

Never in her lifetime had she thought that she, Hermione Granger, would so carelessly spit out the one insult that had always brought her so much grief.

Hours she had spent locked away in her dormitory when Draco had first called her that. Hours she had spent looking at her arm, tarnished and branded. Hours she had spent rubbing at her skin, trying to peel it off.

The reminder of who she was.

A filthy litttle mudblood.

She eas the filth here.

Hermione was the filth.

She felt so small.. oh so small in that moment as she registered the utter heartbreak in Lily's eyes, her very soul shattering at witnessing how the one person Lily had always trusted to have her back.. the person who had assured her of her magic, throw in her face the one thing she knew would render her weak.

Hermione knew it was unnecessary. But it was important. They needed to believe it.

So she went on, 'You thieving little girl! You dare besmirch our presence with yours.' _Oh, the monster I have become. I hate_ _myself_. 'I have had to put up with you for so long. I had hoped the Dark Lord would be benefited by my association with you. It was always such a hindrance to be constantly surrounded by an animal such as yourself. No matter. Substitues are easily found. Especially for someone as disposable as yourself.' _I hate myself._

Nothing cohld prepare her for what she'd hear next.

Sirius whispered, his tone flat, 'Step away, M.. Lestrange. Leave. Take your cronies with you. Don't make me alert Dumbledore.'

Hermione felt as if someone had stabbed her. She felt the pain of all the _Crucioes_ she had been hit with in her lifetime, all of them culminating in one little word.

_Lestrange_.

She had won over the younger Black but lost the one she loved in the same breath.

Sirius silently held Lily's hand. She could see unshed tears in the redhead's eyes, pride not allowing them to fall.

Avery muttered, 'The party's over. Let's go.'

Rookwood nodded, 'Coming, Lestrange? Black?'

Hermione gulped. She felt Reggie pull her away.

Away from Sirius. Away from Lily. Away from safety and warmth.

_I need Harry.. oh, what have I done?_

She turned away, seeing pain and betrayal flicker in the depths of the silver eyes that had captured her heart.

Reggie kept her upright, never letting her fall or fumble.. never letting the boys ahead witness her weakness.

He begged, 'You love him.'

'Love is weakness,' she croaked.


	44. Chapter 44

__

** _DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

'Quidditch, my lovelies, is the most exhilarating adventure I've ever lived,' James sniggered. 'Such a shame you blokes suck at it.'

He jumped into his bed, carelessly throwing away his robes, changing into his favourite pajamas. He quickly muttered a heating spell to keep himself warm as he glanced at Remus studiously pouring over his notes. Peter was still experimenting with a hybrid toffee they were specifically designing for their next prank. It would be a mix of bogey and grass flavours with a bright red colour to mislead the poor Hogwarts student body into thinking it was a sweet.

James threw a pillow at Remus, 'Oi, mate, come on. Exams are a million days away.'

'Months, Prongs, months,' Remus muttered under his breath.

'You're going to ace every bloody subject,' he cajoled, 'except maybe potions,' he added as an afterthought.

Remus got up, putting his journal away and picking up some chocolate, 'Slughorn must hate me for all the trouble I put him through.'

Peter laughed, 'It's not you, Remus, don't worry. It's Moony. He just hates the smell. You can't blame him for having a superhero sense of smell.'

James piped in, suddenly excited, propping himself on his elbows, 'Hey, how about we get Sluggie to take a dip into the Black Lake? That will be the most legendary thing we do, I bet.'

Peter clapped him on the back as he passed him by before plunging into Remus' stock of chocolates. 'Nah, we should do it with Filch. Put Mrs Morris in too.'

'We will be remembered for all the generations to come, then,' James snickered.

Remus shook his head fondly, 'There are better things you should be trying to be remembered for other than attempting to drown a poor old man in a lake which is home to not only the Giant Squid but Merpeople, who, let me tell you, can be absolutely vicious. And Merlin knows what else hides asay in the lake's murky waters.'

'Please, Filch is no _poor_ old man. That man's always on the prowl.'

'The bloke doesn't even have a missus! No sane bird would put up with him', Peter exclaimed.

'Dear Lord, what if some woman as demented as him did end up marrying the idiot? They'd becime invincible! They'd hunt us down as a sport.'

Just as Remus was about to point out his ridiculous claims, the boys were startled into a surprised silence as they saw Lily walk in, followed by Sirius who looked like he wanted to be anywhere but there.

The pair looked like they'd been through something incredibly off-putting, both of them sporting morose expressions.

They saw as Sirius put away his bag and quietly got into the bed, shutting himself away from the world by pulling the drapes over his bed, something he never did.

James was at a loss. He didn't understand. Sirius had always insisted on keeping the drapes open ever since he had found out about James' night tremors. They had stopped sharing the same bed years ago but Sirius' thoughtfulness always helped him maintain a semblance of reality when he slept.

He turned towards Lily. She had never before stepped inside their dormitory. He observed her shyly walk upto Remus and settle in his bed with just the tiniest bit of discomfort creeping in.

Remus, shocked, promptly got up and plodded over to Peter's bed, the two boys looking expectantly at the redhead.

Lily Evans was many things. She was brave and fierce and loyal. She was smart and witty and a girl not to be trifled with. What she was not was a girl who gave in easily to her emotions.

No, she never cried. Not when she was ridiculed and not when she was humiliated by the one word that followed her everywhere. James had personally seen her being bullied for being a muggleborn but never had he seen her resolve crumble. Even his incessant pursuing hadn't elicited a very strong reaction and he admitted he had been a tad bit insensitive.

Hell, the girl had remained levelheaded even when she had received a letter from her sister the previous month telling her how she was getting married but Lily's presence was not welcomed. It was practically the end of her family.

But as he saw the unshed tears in her eyes that night James could only feel a couple of emotions.

Intrigue and rage.

He had not even the slightest idea about what could have broken her. But whatever it was woukd be fixed.

He would fix it for her.

James hesitated only for a moment before he rushed towards her, holding her as she broke into silent sobs. He looked for any sign of an injury on her but found none. He stared into her eyes, seeking answers. She looked away, tears streaming down her face. He spared a glance in the direction of Sirius' bed, debating whether he should prod him and find out the roots of this little debacle.

But something told him he shouldn't. The emptiness he had seen in his eyes had chilled him.

What the bloody hell was going on?

He had never seen Lily like this. Her deflated shoulders shook as her hands clutched onto him, using him to tether herself.

She sniffed, looking at him desperately, 'I am such a mess. I bet that isn't something you'd like to deal with so late at night. I swear I didn't plan on doing it this way.'

'Come now, Evans. Go on, tell us. What is it?'

She took a deep breath, 'I know Sirius isn't up to it just yet but you need to know.'

She got up on her feet, settling in on the window seat, looking out and tracing patterns on her robes. 'I have never truly given much thought to it when I am called a mudblood. It always hurt as it does with every victim of racism. I was being pitted against because of my blood. My _blood_. How ridiculous is that. But I had persevered even when it felt like I wasn't only just being shunned at school for being different but also at home for being a freak of nature. My parents still loved me but I was suddenly a stranger to them and my sister, as you know, hates me. I didn't find acceptance in either of my worlds and every time someone insulted me.. humiliated me, I just figured I'd create my own little space someday.'

James looked at her, the raw emotion in her voice causing spikes of anger to pitch inside him.

Remus and Peter too sat enthralled, saddened by her struggle.

'It's alright when you don't care about the person telling you how you don't belong but when it comes from someone you had thought was yours.. someone you had thought came from the very society bred onto such irrational ideals but still accepted you wholeheartedly .. someone you really thought was your friend.. it doesn't seem okay anymore.'

James squeezed her hand, 'Lily, you can tell us. Whatever it is.'

She smiled sadly and launched into the events of the night, not leaving out a single detail lest Sirius have to relive one of his worst memories. Her eyes flitted over to the three boys, all of whom remained standstill, netiher one speaking up.

'Please don't just stay quiet,' she begged.

Peter was the first to respond. He laughed lightly, 'Evans, as proud as I am of you to be finally letting yourself give in to the thrill of life, _this_ is kind of a sick joke.'

Lily shut her eyes tight, 'I wish it was.'

James let go of her hand, shaking his head adamantly, staring out into the night sky.

He heard Remus shuffle onto his feet, 'Lily, it doesn't make sense. Hermione was with us just last night. Laughing _and_ crying just like the way it had been before .'

'Remus, I wish I didn't have to be the one to tell you but I am not lying. I would never lie about something like this.'

Peter yelled, 'What the hell? This is crazy! Tell me you don't believe this. Come on, it's just Padfoot. It's some sort of terrible trick he's trying to pull on us. Hermione is _not_ a Death Eater.'

Remus held onto the bedpost, ignoring the screaming. He focused only on breathing in and out. In and out.

Hermione was his friend.

He held up a hand as Lily opened her mouth. He said, very quietly, 'Lily. The truth. You saw the Dark Mark? Are you certain?'

'Even if my eyes have somehow been deceived my hearing clearly hasn't,' Lily replied with conviction.

Peter knocked over his bedside table, standing firmly before the girl. 'It's not true. Hermione isn't one of them. She's the bravest of us all and we're ruddy Gryffindors. She would never give up on her values and she's the one girl you can count on to fight for the rights of every creature there is. Hell, I'd bet my money on her to fight even for house elves!'

Lily looked torn. She hated to be the bearer of such news. 'Peter, there is nothing for me to gain by lying to you.'

' _No_!' He turned towards Remus, his eyes flashing amber, the wolf within struggling to break out. 'Surely, you don't believe this. Moony, Hermione was the first person to accept you. She was there for you when nobody was. None of us even knew and she was supporting you all that time. She'd have outed your secret that very minute if she'd believed in all this pureblood supremacy. Damnit, the girl risked her life for us only a few months ago.'

Seeing Remus set his blood on fire. How could he remain so passive?

He walked up to James and shook him by his shoulders. James only stared at him absently, hollow eyes seeking his.

Peter whispered, furious, 'Prongs, you built a tree house with her. No Death Eater would build a bloody tree house with the heir of the most famous supposed blood traitors in Britain. Tell me you don't buy this crap.'

Peter rubbed at his eyes.

He fought his friends. He fought himself.

His mind kept taking him back to that lonely night he'd found her, head bent over her milk down in the kitchens.

She had been speaking about family obligations. She had told him how she would soon have to give in.

He knew it had to be true. He knew it because she had more or less said it to his face and all he had done was laugh at her, thinking it to be a meaningless tirade. He had shouted at her but never tried to get to the bottom of it.

He felt like shit.

He felt like the crappiest friend in the world as he slid down to the ground under the weight of his guilt.

Remus placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, 'Wormy, we don't know the reason behind her initiation. Maybe.. maybe it was Rodolphus. I mean, he's the Head of the family now. Maybe she was forced into it.'

Lily whispered, 'She's not the kind of person to be forced into doing something and even if she was then she'd never have bullied a child.' She croaked, 'She'd never have called me a mudblood.'

The three turned to James pleadingly.

James hated moments like these. He knew the Marauders looked up at him as the ringleader. Nobody had specified the rules but it had always just been that way.

His heart battled with his head.

It was true. Hermione wasn't the kind of girl to be forced into bending her will. She would never go out without a fight. And it didn't seem like she was being blackmailed. The only person she might join would be for Rab. But Rab, as far as he knew, was seen frequently out and about. He was safe.

He _seemed_ safe.

Or could it be that Rab, too, was one of them now?

James knew he was in denial. But what else was there to do? He couldn't just condemn one of his oldest friends.

But everything pointed against her. Lily would never lie. And Sirius' solemn face was indication enough of his broken heart. The boy never stayed still, not even when asleep.

He sighed, 'We have to lay off of her. Maintain our distance. At least for as long ..'

Remus interrupted, 'Mate, if she's being threatened then we need to help.'

'And what if she's not? She's one stubborn bird and you know it. I don't want to believe it. Trust me, I don't but what Sirius and Lily saw couldn't just be an illusion.'

Peter snapped, 'How can you be so casual about this? You don't even look like you care!'

James retorted, 'We can't all be breaking down, Pete. We're in a war. We may not be the players yet but we're not much far away, are we?

'Hermione is the first casualty. There are going to be so many more. I hope she's being forced because that means there's a chance this is all a mistake and that one day we can bring her back to us. I don't like this any more than you do but we can't just go in wands blaring. We have to stay away because if she truly is being blackmailed or some crap like that then we'd not only be endangering ourselves but her too. Think about the risks. For her. She'd be punished for associating with us. And if .. if this is out of her own sheer will.. then we'd be risking our _lives_.'

Peter looked at him, incredulous.

James went on, 'I love her. She's like a sister to me but .. we can't just.. we can't .. look, I don't _know_ what to do,' he said, exasperated 'I don't know what to do here. So don't look at me expecting all the answers. Please..

'Just.. Merlin, I _love_ her,' he whispered. 'She's my _sister_!'

Lily hugged him to her, wiping away the tears in his eyes. 'We have to be strong. We have to.. if this is real.. if this is truly happening and we've lost her, it's all the more important for us to stick together and be the anchor for each other. We can't let this war claim any more of us. We _have_ to be strong!'

James didn't know what happened next. He didn't know when Lily had left or when he had gotten into bed. He didn't know what had happened to Remus or Peter.

He remembered the numbness. He remembered the feoeings of listlessness and desolation.

All he knew was that he spent the next four hours in excruciating pain as he lay, sleep evading him like the curse and his mind running a thousand miles an hour.

It felt like a crude awakening. Never before had he come so close to the war. Sure, he'd heard his parents furiously whisper to each other. He had sometimes found his mother crying over another dying man or woman. He had seen his father come home looking haggard and exhausted at the oddest hour.

But the war had been just that. A battle to be won.

Definitely not a fight for his life.

Could it be? Had he truly lost a sister that night? Was it that night or had it happened long ago? How long had she been fooling them, if it was indeed true and not just a grand scheme of the universe meant to torture him?

He closed his eyes, sighing into the silence. His ears perked up as he heard a pair of footsteps make their way to the door.

_Sirius_.

He crept out of his bed, following him silently as he saw him navigate the Map to leave the warmth of the castle and step into the harsh cold of the night.

James knew Sirius was aware of his presence. But he maintained the facade.

Sirius took him to the tiny hidden rock they had found Hermione under the shelter of all those years ago. Maybe that had been the foundation of his friendship with her.

Who could tell?

Even when he'd met her the first time when she had literally fallen into his lap, hugging him like she'd known him her entire life, breathing into him all her love, James had somehow known that this girl.. this tiny little force of nature would come to mean the world to him.

But then the illusion broke that night.

And it left him feeling so miserably hollow.

Sirius whispered, 'I lost my brother years ago and today I lost my.. Mi.'

James turned to look at him, the pain he had tried to hide evident in his eyes. He nudged his shoulder lightly, 'I know, mate. Sucks, doesn't it?'

'Damn right it does,' he barked, breaking into uncontrollable laughter. His maniacal cackles scared James. It scared the shit out of him. But when his laughter turned into hiccoughs and they turned into sobs, James felt himself break.

He wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close.

'What am I supposed to do now, Prongs?'

'I.. I don't know. I guess .. we just try to move on.'

'It's a sick, pathetic existence without her. Everything seemed perfect and now it's all broken at the seams. How did we ever get here?' He asked, his voice small 'Do you mourn someone who's still alive?'

'Our Mi is still in there somewhere. All of our time together couldn't have been a lie, Padfoot. It _wasn't_ a lie.'

He stared lifelessly at the still waters, 'Then why did she have to leave us like this? Why did she have to leave _me_?'

James enveloped his brother, trying to shelter him from the horrors of his life but failing miserably. How could he hold him when he, too, felt like it was the end of the world?

'What do I do now?', he asked him again.

James shrugged sadly, 'You hold onto her memories and hope that one day she remembers too.'


	45. Chapter 45

** _DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Harry gazed longingly at the castle he'd come to call home. It was only just barely visible from where he stood, an excellent vantage point that allowed him invisibility from unwanted onlookers but also a strategic position to help keep his subjects in sight.

He could make out the Gryffindor Tower standing alone like a sentinel guarding the violet skyline as dusk rolled over the grounds below. He could even vaguely count the windows, hazarding a guess to where his dormitories had lay.

His dormitory that he'd shared with Ron.

He sighed, ridding himself of memories he had no desire to revisit especially not before he was to set out on a potentially life threatening outgamble.

He waited patiently for Hermione to arrive, only the tiniest bit bitter that she got to be the one to enjoy the comforts of the ancient castle while he had to spend all his time in foreign lands among foreign people. He wished he could have been with her. He wished he could spend time with his parents and Sirius and Remus because the truth of the matter was that he'd do anything to get them back even if he had no guts to face them.

Maybe when all this was over he could go to them and offer some kind of flimsy explanation and hope that they would believe him.

That they would _accept_ him.

He petted the lionhead of his beloved cane berore promtly shrinking and putting it away. He smiled to himself thinking how he'd be lying if he said that he, too, hadn't grown quite fond of the little trinket.

At least Henry had taste, he told himself.

He hummed under his breath, all the while steadily keeping a hold of his wand under his black robes.

He heard her before he saw her. His face split into a huge grin as he saw her approaching, a similar expression of exhuberance on her face although a little subdued.

His brows furrowed as he spun her around and placed her feet back on the ground.

He prodddd, 'Something is wrong, isn't it? I can tell.'

Hermione fumbled with her words. She had hoped he wouldn't notice but she knew she wasn't fooling anyone. Of course he'd notice. He was her best friend.

She shrugged sadly, 'I finally staged a fall out with the Marauders and it hurts much worse than I'd expected.'

He looked at her with sympathy, pressing his lips against her forehead lightly, brushing away the lone tear against her rosy cheeks. 'A clean break was necessary. You saved them a lot of pain.'

She nodded absently, 'I hope the full moon tonight will keep them distracted enough to forget all about me.'

Harry seriously doubted that but let it go. Instead he fished out a tiny package from his pockets, enlarging it and vanishing away the wrapper. He handed it over to Hermione who promtly pulled up the gloves in her hands, admiring the smooth feel of the dragon hide over her skin.

'As much of a precaution we can take when facing the unexpected,' he mumbled before taking her arm and Apparating her away to the middle of a street enclosed in the darkness.

He felt her shudder in response to the evil the little dilapidated cottage before them reeked of. He barely suppressed a shudder of his own, his body reacting adversely to the piece of Dark Magic inside despite having long been severed from the connection he had held with Voldemort's horcruxes.

'I have already dismantled the first five layers on my previous visits,' he explained rather unnecessarily. He knew she had every last thing memorised.

Hermione chuckled at his efforts, 'Yes. I'll begin working on the alarm system immediately. You can get onto blasting away the wards then.'

Disengaging herself from his grip, she slid away to step closer to the cottage. From the corner of her eye she saw Harry run a perimeter around the property. She waited for him to carry out his statutory precautions once again, putting up wards to keep their presence hushed up.

'No signs of human life in a five mile radius. If somebody is to arrive we will be alerted almost immediately. I have used a little trick I came up with a couple of years ago to ensure we won't be affected by Anti-Apparaition wards in case we are tailed or somehow discovered.'

Hermione could almost make out the swell of pride Harry felt at having successfully ensured their safety, something that had always been Hermione's job previously. She grinned at him, shaking her head fondly.

With one last glance at him, Hermione set to work. She raised her hands in the air, letting all the energy around the house flood into her. She made a systematic inventory of every spell she encountered which enveloped the cottage. She made her way through the two layers of wards they meant to blow up and then worked on finding her way to the safeguards and the security checks in place. Quickly making her way through the quite advanced alarm system put up by Voldemort, she felt his magical signature ebb upon casting the various countercurses she muttered under her breath.

There was a thrum of static in the air. Magic whispered to her very core as she strategically picked apart each spell.

It took her very close to an hour before she could confidently claim to have stripped the cottage of any counteractive measures it may have in place to repel intruders such as themselves.

Harry never let his gaze waver from her all the while straining all his senses to keep a strict check on their surroundings. So far everything was going well but he only knew it too well how things could fall apart without any warning.

He knew she was exerting herself with the very complicated enchantments she was muttering. He also realised he would never have understood them in his previous life but Henry's extensive knowledge acquired during his years at Durmstrang were proving to he magnanimously useful not only for his network but also this night when he had to be on his best game. He'd be damned if he let anything happen to Hermione.

He would make sure she made it out alive. He would make sure the both of them made it out alive.

He owed it to their family.

Seeing her catch her breath after a very long and excruciating fifty four minutes Harry rushed towards her, offering to her some water and a tiny slab of chocolate.

He immediately began to disassemble the weakened wards. He made sure there would arise no implications and that there were no surprises or changes from the information he had gathered a few months ago.

He divested them entirely, casting the simplest piece of a spell, ' _Confloste_!'

It was like a switch had been turned on that sent bits and pieces of plaster hurtling away as the cottage exploded into a million shards. The air rumbled as the very foundation of the tiny construction burst into rubble as the wards blew up. The magic held within them could be felt by the duo as clearly as feeling the tangible tension in the air.

It felt like an icy hand had clamped over their chests, touching them and igniting in them a chilled fire. A second that could easily have been eternity for them passed and the chill receded to leave behind an intense feeling of dismemberment.

'Whatever this was.. it was one of the most powerful magic I've witnessed,' Hermione commented. 'I never thought a ward could be this resilient.'

'We learn something everyday,' Harry mumbled.

He led her inside through the blistered door that hung onto the rubble by just a single hinge. He took great care in jumping over the fallen tiles, stretching an arm out towards Hermione and pulling her in.

They bundled inside, both of them feeling vibrations coming out from something incredibly dark and vicious residing within the fallen down walls.

Harry had to admit that not even the entirety of the time spent keeping a horcrux on his person could have instilled in him the dread that he felt at once again encountering the piece of soul of a man he wished to bring down for having taken from him everything.

It wasn't an overly difficult task to follow his instincts and wade through all the rubble and into the heart of the mess. The horcrux was doing the job for him.

It beckoned to him.

He could clearly make out the ornately designed casket that seemed to be shimmering just only slightly.

_No. This is too easy. Something is off about this place._

He looked pleadingly at Hermione who was regarding the air around them very curiously. He saw her brows furrow in concentration almost as if she was plucking the roots of some complex arithmancy equation.

'Mione?,' he prompted.

Her head whipped in his direction, startled, 'I know.. it can't be this simple.'

Harry was glad and felt reassured that his instincts weren't lying to him. He trusted her gut almost more than he trusted his own.

Bracing himself, he stepped forward, reaching out his gloved hand to pick up the small box, detesting even the idea of being so close to it. But before he could wrap his fingers around it he felt something sharp prod him against his back.

He turned around to find Hermione putting a finger against her lips, her wand poking him. She raised it to release a soft glow around them.

A golden light enveloped the pair as Harry gazed at the tiny imprints of letters and digits from a familiar script that appeared in thin air. He felt another icy chill pass along his body as he realised just what the repercussions of touching the box would have been.

'They would have made your blood curdle and your lungs collapse almost immediately,' Hermione murmured, aghast. 'It's a very subtle bit of magic. I would have never noticed it in the first place. It turns out our time at war paid up. War hardens you to everything.'

Harry looked at her, grateful to her for once again having saved his life. She never stopped, did she. She had been and would always be his most loyal companion.

He only hoped that she knew there was not a soul in this world or the next who could ever replace her in his life.

'Together?', he ventured.

'Together,' she repeated.

His back against hers, he began translating the runes in his mind, slowly dismembering them, giving each little bit individual attention. He felt his senses had heighteined significantly upon the removal of the ancient ward, allowing him to see better in the pitch black darkness of what remained of the cottage.

'It was shadowing our senses,' he remarked.

Hermione gave a noncommittal shrug and sidestepped around him. 'I don't feel good, Harry. Let's just get this over with and leave.'

He nodded and bent down to murmur the three countercurses Hermione had demanded him to mug up. He was in luck, the third one clicked and he felt the box give a cry before its lid opened up of its own accord.

Harry's jaw tightened as he saw the ring and the black stone held within its confines. He fought the urge to grab it and wear it.. to let Voldemort's soul possess him and bring to fruition his plans.

He watched as Hermione slowly extended her hand and pushed the lid back down, disintegrating the pull he felt to the trinket. She had only just burshed a finger against the box when she cried out, pulling away her hand as if burned.

His eyes grew wide as he saw the dragon hide melt away, integrating itself closely with the skin on her hand.

Hermione looked at Harry, frantic. She let out a cry of pain as she felt the dragon hide pierce into her skin and merge with it all the while as a soft tingle crept up her arm and spread through her entire body, eliciting yells of excruciating pain from her.

She felt the energy leave behind a trail of red hot fire. She cried out again as she felt herself burn.

Harry let out a strangled cry, rushing to her and pulling her close. He inspected her hand, wracking his mind for a possible cure but coming up with nothing. He sensed the growing darkness around them but not even his panic could tune out the gory cries of pain coming from Hermione's mouth.

He felt his eyes prickle with tears as he gathered her in his arms, struggling to ignore the violent shaking of her frail body.

'I'll get you out, Hermione. I'll keep you safe. I'll carry you, I promise.'

Keeping a firm grip on her with his left hand, he stretched the other towards the box. But before he could clutch it in his fingers he saw a grotesque figure take shape right before his eyes. He saw as a black mass of swirling gases turned into a palpable entity. The wraith like figure glared at the pair of intruders, its arms stretching around them.. threatening to trap them inside its hold.

Harry whipped out his wand and cast spell after spell but he was only blindly shooting the wraith down. He had no idea what kind of sorcery this was. He had never in his two lifetimes encountered something so morbidly terrifying.

The wraith gleaned as it edged closer. He was acutely aware of the rising pitch of Hermione's screams, begging him to put an end to her agony. Her ashen skin begged flr attention, her eyes clasped shut against the prolonged pain she felt.

Her screams tore through him like shards of grass reminding him of another time when he had been equally as incapacitated to help her and break her out of her torturous howls. His mind railed with various implications of a solution but her blood curdling screams just wouldn't allow him to think clearly.

Coupled with the ever advancing wraith Harry couldn't help but feel so thoroughly helpless.

How could he ever have believed that they could have won this war? He had nothing. He could do nothing. How foolish had he been?

And he'd so willingly put Hermione through this ordeal and now they would both die at the hands of a surreal apparition and the world would retake the same course it had before and all of their efforts would be for naught.

He sent out a silent prayer, his desperation clear in his distraught eyes. He begged the gods to forgive him for he had not only risked the world's fate yet again but brought Hermione, his.. his everything.. to such danger and now she would die on him just like everybody else had.

She would die on him and he'd suffer the pain of her death in his very last moments.

He tried blasting through the wraith once again but found the wrsith like darkness had had his limbs rendered immobile. As he looked at her clammy face and her brown eyes seeking his, he dropped his forehead against her, whispering to whatever Gods were listening.

_Please take me.. not her._

_Take me. Take me but not her. Please.._

Her hysterical sobs peaked up making the hair on the back of his neck stand straight up.

_I am so sorry_ , _Mione. I wish they'd take me.. not you.. not you, please.. not you too.._

Just when Harry had been about to give up, something strange happened. He felt like a burning fire had torn open his chest and taken residence inside. He felt its hot trail inside his blood, the itch of a burn surrounding him.

But he had never even touched the ring.

Hermione's pain echoed into his, both of their screams merging into one. And yet he retained a part of his mind that was still begging for Death to take him and not her.

_Not her, too, please.._

As he closed his eyes, unable to witness her misery any longer, his own tumult threatening to push him over the edge, he felt something simmer along the edges of his senses.

He could hear strange voices. So many of them. Their murmurings so acute.

Had the Resistance or perhaps the Order somehow come to help them? But that wasn't possible. The cottage was unplottable but then there wasn't another rational explanation for any of it.

He strained his eyes to open. His eyelids fluttered as he saw the wraith like figure being pushed back steadily but surely. The voices rose even higher as a white light emanating from somewhere close to the source of the wraith itself surrounded them, flooding them with warmth but bringing no solace to their ever increasing pain.

He saw as the shimmering light hurtled the wraith like darkness back into the crevices of the box, causing it to fall inanimately down on the ground. And suddenly all the adrenaline rushed out of his system as Harry saw his vision restore and the voices go away; the silence interrupted only by Hermione's screams.

He reluctantly curled his fingers around the casket, hurriedly pushing it back in his robes. He struggled to get up onto his feet, the burning in his body still there but somehow weaker than what Hermione was feeling for surely his howls were nothing compared to the chilling sounds she was emitting.

Her whimpers grew worse as Harry stumbled onto his steps, falling down onto his knees. His vision blurred as he tried to pull her close.

He couldn't give up. Not now.

' ** _Leave_** ,' he heard a sharp voice whisper to him. ' ** _Run_**.'

Harry whipped around, his wand at the ready but nobody stood behind him. Goosebumps broke out on his skin as he whirled round and round trying to find the source of the strange voice.

' ** _Leave_** ,' said the unfamiliar voice, an ethereal tinge to it. ' ** _Leave now_**.'

Harry clambered onto his feet, using all his strength to pick Hermione up, his heart breaking a little at seeing her limp body hanging onto him, her head dropping back as another scream made its way out her chapped lips.

'I'll carry you,' he whispered as he staggered, battling the urge to cry out from the burn inside, 'I'll carry you, Mione.. I'll carry you to the ends of the world.'

He secured his hold on her before wobbling out the door and into the dewy air outside, the moon barely just setting.

He had only just walked away a mere twenty yards from the rubble when a violent green fire erupted and surrounded the broken plaster.

He shielded his eyes from the massacre before his eyes, his mouth hanging open in shock.

Another second and they would have been charred mass.

Who did that voice belong to?

Another one of her howls alerted Harry to the impending doom upon his best friend's head. He fumbled to produce a patronus, watching the silver stag dash away to Dumbledore, mumbling a message for him.

Apparating her to the edge of Hogsmeade, he almost cried out in relief at seeing Dumbledore already running towards the pair.

Ignoring the strange occurrence of how one of his students, his _spy_ , was in the arms of the leader of the Resistance, Dumbledore merely worried his brow over their battered forms.

He skidded to a halt, 'What is it? What's happened?'

Harry knew he didn't have the resources. To heal Hermione would take the expertise of someone trustworthy and he didn't know who could be better equipped than the greatest wizard alive.

He scrambled for words, his heart beating a thousand times too fast, 'She's been cursed.. touched something.. she was wearing.. dragon hide.. melted and fused into her skin. I.. don't know.. it's like a burn.. going through her veins.. I can feel it too but.. I can tell its less potent than what she's feeling.. she keeps screaming.. her tremors have subsided but her ..'

Another ear splitting scream was released as Hermione once again bit her lip so hard that blood flowed freely.

Harry whispered, 'Mione, listen to me.. I'll carry you.. I'll carry you and you'll be okay..'

Dumbledore's eyes dimmed, its usual twinkle lost. He appraised the two gravely. He motioned for Harry to allow him to levitate Hermione but seeing him shake his head vehemently he could do nothing but run and lead the pair towards the Hospital Wing.

Harry's mind barely registered the walk to the matron. He was dimly aware of the plethora of memories that flooded him as he made his way through familiar corridors he had known for so long. His heart kept breaking as he felt how cold Hermione felt in his arms and how it only reinforced the ghosts he kept seeing around him.

His lips thinning, he tightened his grip over her, feeling her breathing grow fainter. The burn flowing through his veins was ever present but his dsitress wasn't even close to what Hermione was feeling.

His was only an.. imprint of what she felt. His mind was wheeling through the many unanswered questions he had.

Who did the voice belong to? How could he be feeling what she felt? What had been the white light that had saved them?

And how could he have ever been so, so reckless to have risked Hermione's life again?

Dumbledore waved his hand and the doors to the Hospital Wing flew open. The matron who was fussing over a tall, lean and extremely weakened boy to get into bed scurried over to the girl in Harry's arms.

She looked at Harry and frowned, 'Mr Potter, what's the menaing of this?'

Harry looked up at her, startled. His mind was put to ease when Dumbledore answered, 'This here is Mr Oakswood, Poppy. But this is not the time. Hermione here,' another shriek split the air, 'appears to be facing the effects of the Tenebris Adolebrit curse. We need to immediately contain it from spreading.'

Madame Pomfrey gasped in horror, immediately demanding Harry to settle her in a bed farthest from the entry.

She cast a stern look at the boy who was now carefully regarding the progression of the events, his scarred face terrified as he witnessed another cry of terror from the unknown girl but something told Poppy that he knew who it was. She herself had seen the girl visit the poor boy after every other full moon.

Dumbledore put up silencing charms around Hermione's bed and persuaded Harry to step aside, who was still enitrely too focused on her and only her. He was almost unmovable, refusing even the idea of leaving her side.

Dumbledore placed a firm hand on his shoulder, trying to guide him away, 'Mr Oakswood, you would only hinder the matron's work. This is too delicate a case. Please.'

Harry looked at him, stricken, letting go of her. Seeing how utterly broken and small she looked in the stark white bed, her skin almost matching the white of the bedspread, filled him with feelings of morbid guilt and moroseness.

She was teetering on the edges of death and he stood perfectly fine, the burn only barely registering by then. Her shallow breaths indicated her anguish and Harry was still safe.

_Why?_

He stepped aside just barely, allowing the matron to go about her business.

Harry only just noticed the black markings that traced her entire skin, entwining with where her veins were supposed to be.

He looked down at himself but found none of such markings. He frowned as he saw Dumbledore help the matron assess Hermione and administer to her a potion to knock her out unconscious.

The sudden silence unnerved him. He felt the onslaught of a terrible ache in his head. He clutched his side and stepped outside when Madame Pomfrey pulled the drapes to cover Hermione.

Harry didn't know what to do. There was nothing for him to do now. He couldn't stop obsessing about every little thing that could go wrong. The burn in his body was ebbing away slolwy but it was replaced by something much worse.

Fear.

He felt the beginnings of a panic attack. He hadn't suffered through one in ages but now as he stood staring at the covers surrounding Hermione's battered body from his eyes, he couldn't help but break down. He fell to his knees, his wand clattering away from him. His hands rested against the cold floor and his breathing turned jagged. He made no noise as he felt his chest construct and his heart race. The world pushed itself onto him from all sides, his mind still whirring from the implications of the night.

So close to Death.

Yet again he'd come so, so close to Death and brought with him his best friend, dragging her into the carnage his life was.

Would it always be like this? Would he never, ever get to rest? _Why_ did it have to be him?

Silent sobs broke out, his throat burning as his veins felt some calm wash over him. His fingers turned clammy as his vision blurred and his head spun.

Harry let out a strangled breath as he gained consciousness. He shot up, immediately seeking the familiarity of his wand. Thrashing his arms wildly around he clutched the wood to his heart and placed his spectacles back into place.

He almost balked at finding himself in the same bed he had often slept in whenever he had been injured back at Hogwarts.

Hogwarts!

_Hermione_!

In his rush, he almost fell out of the sheets wrapped around him. He slid apart the drapes and ripped apart those around Hermione's. He sighed when he found her deeply asleep. Her skin had regained its colour yet again unmarred by the black markings. Her breathing had restored to its normal rate and her hand seemed almost healed albeit still bandaged.

He took her hand in his gingerly, tears pooling out as he remembered a time when she had lain still so similar to the way she did now.

The basilisk had petrified his best friend. He remembered feeling like he'd lost a limb throughout all those months she had remained unconscious. The feelings he had now were only a hundred times amplified.

He checked his robes for the cakset and brushed a chaste kiss against her forehead when he heard someone clear their throat behind him.

'I am not foolish enough to question you about the nature of your task,' Dumbledore said, 'but whatever it had been was not the least dangeorus mission you could have possibly embarked upon.'

Harry looked at him sharply, wiping away his tears, 'I don't care. How is she?'

'She is resting. You've been asleep for fifteen hours yourself. Your body had suffered from acute strain. Although there was no organic cause to it but you seemed to have suffered through a very similar but subdued kind of burn. You are lucky Mr Lupin was perceptive enough to have helped you into a bed while myself and Poppy were busy with treating Ms Lestrange.'

Mr Lupin.

_Remus_.

Remus had been the boy. Of course. The full moon!

But he had helped him..

Harry felt warmth at the base of his stomach as his eyes fell upon Remus' lean figure propped against the head of his bed, peering back at him quizzically.

Harry looked at his young features, his face still bearing scars but his hair a wild shade of brown and his amber eyes not nearly as wise as the eyes of the man he had known.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Harry looked away. Remus wasn't concerned for him. He'd be fooling himself if he thought so. He was just curious about the strange man who looked like an exact replica of his best friend.

Dumbledore went on, 'Ms Lestrange suffered the after effects of a very dark curse that I haven't personally encountered in around seventy years. It's astounding to think of where you could have possibly fallen upon it. What she felt was a fire through her veins that turned them black, sucking away her blood at an extremely slow rate. If the pain hadn't killed her, the loss of the blood surely would have. You were opportune to have come here the moment you did.'

Harry thanked his stars for having gotten _something_ right but it didn't help abate the feelings of self loathing that he now nursed.

'She's safe. She should wake up anytime now.'

Harry nodded and thanked him in earnest, 'I couldn't have helped her. Not even I'm eauipped with the right personnel to treat something like this. Thank you, Dumbledore.'

Dumbledore hummed in thought, 'The incident makes me rethink my stance. It appears as if we are more in need of each other's help than ever. Might I ask how you know Ms Lestrange here?'

Harry lowered his gaze, once again staring at her face. He couldn't help but smile fondly at the girl who was no less of a sister to him.

Hell, she was _much_ more.

'It should be enough for you to know that there's not another soul in this world I could ever care for more.'

Dumbledore nodded, 'She came very close to dying last night, Mr Oakswood. Caution must be practiced at every turn in this war. She's just a child.'

Rage flooded him. She's no child but Dumbledore didn't know that. He had willingly put her in the stark middle of a war twice. All his resentment towards the Headmaster suddenly surfaced.

His jaw tightened, 'I am aware of the risks, Dumbledore. Trust me, nobody could ever feel more anguished at the turn of the events from last night than I do.'

From the corner of his eyes he saw two tall boys enter, their voices so familar it ripped his heart open with a new kind of pain.

_Longing_.

He could hear their cheerful batter even so far ahead of them. Turning his face ever so slightly, he could make out the luscious black locks Sirius always prided himself in. A rueful smile broke out on Harry's face as he saw his Godfather cackle in mirth as he threw a tiny package at remus.

The dam broke as his eyes gazed at the raven haired man beside him.

It was true. He looked so much like his father.

His heart begged him to run to him and bury his head in his arms but his mind screamed at him.. reminding him his father was dead and the boy in front of him could never come to love him as a _son_.

His haz eyes shone bright as he doted on Remus, pampering him with sweets and tarts and even lodging in a book or two.

Harry could feel his heart shattering, the unshed tears in his eyes darkening his vision, wondering if this is how he had fawned over him, Harry, when he had been a baby.

He looked away as soon as he saw Remus hush up, certainly relaying to them the strange occurrence of a man carrying one of their friends however now estranged.

Harry looked at Hermione once again. He willed this mind to forget. They weren't his family as much as he wanted them to be. They never could be his.

Only she was and ever would be.

Only Hermione.

It was just another sad story of _you and I against the world._

He had almost forgotten Dumbledore sat peering at him. Sensing his growing unrest Dumbledore offered him a flask of juice, 'Mr Oakswood, forcing yourself to not feel will do you no good.'

He tuned him out, focusing instead on Hermione. It had felt like an integral part of him had gone missing the moment he saw her crumple before his eyes. He had felt the thread tying them to each other almost sever.

_So close._

His Hermione had been so close to Death and he was the only one to be blamed.

Grief surged with every expelled beath which caught in his throat as he saw a lone tear trail its way down Hermione's cheek. He kissed it away, ignorant of the pointed stares piercing his back.

'So broken even when she's asleep. What kind of a world is this, Professor?'

Dumbledore either didn't mind or ignored Harry's slip, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, holding him abreast, 'A world in need of a soul like hers.'

Harry buckled under the weight of his grief, the shear of nothingness pushing him to the brink.

'You can't keep punishing yourself, Harry, my boy.'

He glanced at him sharply, surprised into silence. He had called him Harry.

'I am sorry to assume but Hermione here has been mumbling your name over and over again,' Dumbledore said calmly.

But Harry knew better. He knew Dumbledore was testing a theory. He was bound to. Nothing escaped his notice. Had he figured something out?

'Suffering is a part of who you are. The pain you feel now only helps you retain your humanity.'

' _THEN I DON'T WANT TO BE HUMAN_!,' Harry roared, reminiscent of the very same thing he had once said before, enraged at the words that were the ghost of something so similar Dumbledore had said to him all those years ago.

Dumbledore smiled at him sadly and began retreating but he stopped midstep when he came face to face with a shaken Rabastan Lestrange.

Harry was surprised to see the dark haired man walk up to Hermione's side, bend down and kiss her forehead, gathering her in his arms.

Memories came to the front of Harry's mind. Memories where a cloaked Rabastan had went rampant on a murderous frenzy. Memories that brought to notice his dark side.

But the tenderness with which Rab now clutched onto Hermione, his own tears threatening to fall, Harry couldn't help but feel somewhat happy for the love she had managed to fiund in this strange man.

Rab frowned at seeing his sister's hand clasped into that of a stranger who looked so uncannily like James. But he knew it wasn't James for the boy had glared at him a little too tightly while on his way to Hermione's side.

Now that he noticed, it was rather strange that Hermione wasn't surrounded by the Marauders when she looked like she'd just come back from the very clutches of Death.

He looked sternly at the man before him, 'And who are you?'

Harry cleared his throat, discomfort colouring his voice, 'Henry Oakswood.'

Rab frowned and looked at Dumbledore for confirmation who merely nodded in response.

'What are you doing by my sister's side? She doesn't know you.'

Harry didn't know how to proceed. He didn't know how much he could reveal. He had only just opened his mouth to spout an excuse when he heard the faintest of voice call out for him.

'Harry?,' Hermione croaked, her voice hoarse and broken.

Harry scrambled back onto his feet, almost stealing her away from her brother's hold on her.

'Mione, I'm here.. I'm right here and I'm so, so sorry.. I thought I'd lost you.. and I.. Mione, I'm so sorry..'

Hermione chuckled, the effort of it sending her into a fit of coughs.

Madame Pomfrey came running outside, quickly assessing her parent's state and demanding her to down a putrid smelling potion.

Hermione made no complaints as she gulped the potion down, her eyes never leaving those of Harry's. She could feel the bandages restrict her skin but reached out a hand to him nonetheless.

'Never .. blame.. yourself..,' she whispered.

He couldn't help it this time. Tears trailed down his cheeks as he chuckled, 'I promised I'd carry you.. you're safe..'

'We're both .. safe,' she mumbled, breathing him in, seeking comfort in his familiar scent.

'Mi?,' Rab prodded, suddenly uncertain of himself.

Hermione gasped as her eyes met those of her brother's. Lacking the energy for it, she still threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around him in a feeble embrace, 'Oh, Rab, you're.. here.. so happy..'

Rab held her close, rubbing her arms soothingly. He turned his attention towards the Headmaster, 'How did this happen, Professor?'

Dumbledore smiled, 'I believe that is a story for another day, Mr Lestrange.'

Rab shook his head, looking at Hermione, 'Mi, please tell me. What happened? You were cursed by a piece of magic dormant since ages.'

Hermione shied away from his gaze, looking imploringly at Harry.

But Harry was just as clueless as she felt.

Dumbledore stated, his voice having dropped an octave, 'You know about your sister's position. She was sent on a mission that cannot be, as of now, disclosed to anybody other than the involved parties.'

Harry and Hermione looked at him with gratitude for having come to their rescue.

Rab looked frustrated, 'I come home after almost six weeks to find my sister in bed, suffering from the aftereffects of a life threatening curse and in the arms of a man I have never met before and you're telling me you can provide no answers.'

Hermione sighed, 'Rab.. you promised.. you knew the risks.. please..'

Rab's face tore into conflict. Just how much could he let go?

'Mi, you gave me a fright, little sister,' he mumbled as he hugged her tight.

'I am safe now.. I am safe.. Harry.. kept me safe,' she muttered, before once again plunging into the depths of the realm of dreams.

Realisation dawned on his face, questions surfacing as he looked at the young, chiselled man seated in front of him.

'Harry?', he whispered. 'You're Harry.'

Harry looked confused but nodded nonetheless.

Something shifted in Rab's eyes, something akin to a smile breaking out on his face as he clutched Harry's hand. 'I am glad you're finally here,' he said with conviction. 'Thank you.'

Dumbledore witnessed the exchange with great care, filing away the many intricate pieces of this mystery into his mind. He bid his farewells and walked away, winking at the boys huddled up in a hushed silence somewhat far away from the hubub, but their stares pointedly focused at the peculiar group ahead.

He stepped outside the Hospital Wing, his mind in an override.

'Professor Dumbledore,' Sirius almost yelled, running after him, 'Professor, sir.. you helped heal a known.. a known..'

'A Death Eater?,' Dumbledore raised a brow.

Sirius looked away and nodded tightly, not wishing for him to voice it to make it so final.. so real.

'Yes, I did. Willingly so. Is that a problem?'

Sirius looked surprised, unsure of why he had followed the old man outside, 'Sir, I.. I..'

Dumbledore smiled kindly, 'And here I thought you were in love with the young miss. Surely you're not implying I was wrong in saving her life?'

Sirius may not have heard everything that had been said but he could tell she had been in grave danger. He could never even think for such a fate to befall her. He looked aghast, 'No! But you know who she is.. rather what she is and you still helped her.'

'Stranger things are known to have happened,' Dumbledore said, his eyes holding a knowing look, gazing intently at the young girl being stared at so lovingly by the bespectacled boy beside her.


	46. Chapter 46

** _DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Hermione lay silently in her bed, staring at her injured hand illuminated by the glow of the moonlight.

Sleep evaded her that night. Now that her body was completely devoid of all the sedatives Madame Pomfrey had administered to her she found that she no longer felt the pull towards the comfort sleep provided.

Seeing the reddened appearance of her hand brought to her the memories of the strange night and the events that had followed. She may have been crying out in agony but her mind hadn't stopped to register most of what had happened and when Harry had relayed over to her everything once they had been able to find a little solitude two days ago, still huddled in the Hospital Wing, Hermione couldn't help but feel a soft tingle brush against the fortress that her mind was.

Brimming with the various theories she could conjure, her mind hadn't quite felt the peace it sought. Out of everything that had happened the strangest part was how that eerily ethereal voice had seemed a little too familiar almost as if she had heard it whisper into her ear eons ago.

_But where?_

She sighed, closing her eyes and remembering another tragedy that had struck her. She couldn't blame the fates for it. She had willingly walked right into the wallowing fountain of grief. As much as she needed the Marauders to stay away for their own good she couldn't help feeling hurt at seeing how quickly they had believed the extraneous circumstances of her current stance in the war.

She had hoped against hope that maybe they'd fight for her. Just for a little while. Had she been so .. passable that they had moved on so quickly? Hadn't she seen the boys so boisterously escort Remus back to school as if all was right in the world? Hadn't she seen how Remus had lay staring at her for one full day but never once made a move to talk to her?

It hurt but it was all her fault. It wasn't as if she could blame them for keeping their distance from a known Death Eater. Gryffindors didn't entirely lack in self preservation.

Her mind wandered over to her brother and his worrisome face upon finding her in such a state. Rab truly did seem like he'd been struck the hardest blow he could ever suffer at finding his little sister look so broken.

A part of her had felt so overjoyed at seeing him safe and sound even coming back from a mission almost as dangeorus as any but another part of her had felt her heart break at seeing the brokenness in his eyes. She knew something had happened to him during his stay away from civilization. She wondered what kind of thoughts he was drowning himself in; what morbidity he had found himself in the middle of for the sake of keeping his sister safe.. a sister who had thrown away his sacrifice almost immediately.

Rab deserved the world and what did he get instead? A pathetic little girl with no regard of his feelings.

Thinking about Rab also brought to her notice how he would soon begin asking to for the chance to meet Harry, the boy who had been plaguing her nightmares for so long. She trulyy didn't know how to crawl out of this little hole she'd dug herself.

She groaned, propping herself against the backside of the bed, hoping to get out and maybe go for a walk. Her body yearned for something to do other than lie still.

Before she could even move her weakened arms to get out of the covers her ears picked up the sound of shuffling feet. Straining her eyes she tried to see who it was. Since the Hospital Wing was devoid of any patients at the moment and the matron had already retired to her chambers so late after midnight it just didn't make sense.

As she heard the mysterious person's steps slow down, almost hesitant, she realised quite suddenly who it could be.

The Invisibility Cloak.

It had to be one of the Marauders. But.. what could they want with her?

She pretended to have noticed nothing out of the ordinary, settling down into her bed a little deeper, her wand pressed close to her chest. One could never be too cautious.

Not more than a minute had passed when she saw Sirius emerge out from beneath the Cloak, his shoulder length hair a little disheveled and his face set in gaunt lines.

He stood still, just gazing at her with an intensity that scared Hermione. She bit her lip, the depth in his eyes making her feel smaller and smaller with every moment that passed.

He dragged his feet to the chair beside her bed, sitting down and stretching his legs ahead of him. He folded his arms, regarding the girl before him with meticulous care, looking for a sign, _any_ sign to indicate that maybe it had been a fluke.. that maybe his eyes had been deceived.

He looked so hard at her, praying the gods above for him to be able to find the girl he remembered from his childhood. The one who had never learnt knitting but had made him a sweater he still wore every time he felt alone.

He saw her eyes, the same shade of brown, that had never once failed to entrance him into a state of a deeply sated tranquility; her lips the same shade of pink that had threatened him with his sanity; her tiny freckles blending with her skin so perfectly they were barely even visible.

But what really mattered to him was the same warmth and concern he could see resting in her honeyed eyes as he had seen so many times before.

Then why had she done what she had? What had prompted her to let go of her goodness.. her humanity?

Hermione revelled in the way his eyes roved over her face, reminding her of the days they'd spent together running around and buried under the weight of the summer breeze. She wished she could go back to the time when it had been so much simpler than now when she couldn't even look him in the eyes anymore.

Her gaze lowered, she nibbled on her lip, wishing for the earth to open up and swallow her whole.

'I don't know who you are anymore,' he whispered, his voice so wistful and reminiscent it made her tear up.

'Maybe you weren't supposed to know me at all,' she mumbled.

'Why did you do it?'

She shrugged her shoulders, sighing, 'Not everyone has the opportunity to leave the life they were born into.'

He said, with conviction, 'You had a choice.'

She looked at him sharply, 'Did I?'

His resolve broke as he rushed to her side, gripping her hand in his tightly. He brought it up to his face, resting it on his cheek. 'Is it Rodolphus? I can help you. We can figure something out. Together.'

She smiled sadly. 'You are a child. You can't even begin to understand, Sirius. I joined because I wanted to. Nobody forced me.'

Sirius shook his head, hanging onto whatever hope he had left, 'You don't hate muggleborns. You don't hate Lily or Remus. You love them. You aren't a blood supremacist. You abhorred the idea of Voldemort and his cronies. You hated the path Rodolphus was walking upon.' He croaked, 'Then what the hell happened? What changed?'

'I grew up,' she said. 'I realised I was wrong. I may not believe in the purity of blood but ridding the world of muggleborns and half bloods isn't the only thing the Dark Lord has to offer.'

'What could you possibly want from him? You have a name. You have power. You have money.'

'He is the only one who can help restore the Old Ways,' she said, disgusted with herself. 'Times were good when the world still recognised the importance of the old traditions. Now it sneers at purebloods when _we_ hold the answer to everything. Muggleborns do have a place in our world but it is not with us.'

Sirius let go of her as if burned, her hand falling limply beside her. 'This is not you.'

'This is who I've always been, Sirius. I'd been misguided back then but now I know what's required of me.'

Sirius turned away from her, his expression pained. 'You are so loved and you're throwing it all away.'

Hermione remained silent. She was treading on a very delicate path.

'That man.. the other day. That was Harry?'

She nodded absently, 'Yes, it was.'

He frowned, 'He's real?'

Hermione chuckled darkly, 'Did you think I was delusional?'

He shook his head, numb, 'I never knew what to think.' He sighed, every inch of him burning, 'You love him?'

Hermione's brows furrowed, her response coming out without any thought on her part, 'Of course I do. I love him more than anyone in my life.'

Sirius smiled inspite of himself, his breath caught in his throat, the icy chill in his heart spreading. Such simple words and they had drilled in his chest a new hole.. another aching sorrow.

'You should leave, Sirius,' she said, everything inside her begging her to stop, 'Caring for me will only serve as a wheel of abuse.'

He snorted, 'I am in too far deep to stop now. What did you think? That we'd forget you so easily? You truly were one of us.'

She shut her eyes, stung. She forced the words out of her mouth she knew she needed him to hear, 'I won't hesitate to kill you when the time comes.'

He looked at her sadly, trailing a finger softly against hers, 'I, too, hope I'm the first to fall on the battlefield when I am faced with you.'

She didn't want this pain. She didn't want to feel the enormous misery that was settling down in her gut.

'Reggie's gone. And now you are walking out the door too,' he said. He barked out a forced laugh, despondence shadowing his voice, 'Well, at least I can rest assured you two will have each other's backs.'

He got out of his seat suddenly, his body hunched in defeat. He was oh so beautiful but there was nothing pretty about the wreckage he'd become. There was nothing pretty about his pain and the heartache he felt.

He fumbled inside his robes for something, bringing it out and dropping it softly on Hermione's bedside table, avoiding her eyes.

'I carved it out for you a little before Christmas,' he mumbled. 'But given the circumstances I never got around to delivering it to you.'

Hermione's gaze was drawn to the tiny package. She wondered what it was but knew Sirius wouldn't want her to rip into it till after he left.

She saw him spare her one last glance, a faraway look in his eyes. He smiled at her, looking conflicted, battling with himself the urge to do something.. anything.

Hermione felt a new burn inside her, different from the one she'd felt upon touching the ring. This was so much hotter.. so much more painful.

Never before had she got the chance to say goodbye to those she loved. She'd even begged for another day just so she could say goodbye.. just so she could tell them she loved them. But here she was, alive and fit, and yet she couldn't say it. She couldn't seal her fate, breaking all the ties it held with his.

Neither of the wars she'd fought could be worse than this. Not one of them came close to the one inside her mind, every part of her begging her to tell him how sorry she felt, to tell him who she really was but never once finding enough courage to chase after the one thing she'd wanted more than anything in life.

She felt a tear slip out her eyes as Sirius' gaze drifted to the trail it left behind. She saw something shift inside him as he let out a small curse, bending down and pressing his lips against her, urgent but soft.

His hand wrapped around her, slipping to her waist and holding her flush against his chest and the other threading in her unruly curls. She smiled against his lips, breathing in the faint winterwood, her fingers caressing the nape of his neck, pulling him closer. She felt herself drowning in him, their breaths mingling into each other's as their souls played along the fire inside their hearts.

She felt his remorse and his pain in the way he moved his lips and devoured her whole. How cruel was it that a simple kiss could mean so much when words failed. But time was against them for the clouds shifted and the spell of the moon broke as Sirius rested his forehead against her, moaning softly. She shivered at the sudden loss of warmth he had been channeling into her. Shutting her eyes tightly she focused on nothing else but the wildly beating beast within him that called to her.

'Every hour with you was an untameable miracle, Hermione,' he whispered, 'and I will never forget a minute of it. He brought her hand to his lips, kissing her delicate skin and smiling rufeully at her. 'So boundless and infinite and yet our paths diverge.'

She couldn't help but miss the nearness to him as he pushed her lightly away and left, never once looking back, focused entirely on the depths of his sorrow at knowing how he had not only lost her soul to the Darkness but also her heart to another man.

Silent sobs wracked her body, reminding her of the fleeting moment of bliss she had found in the middle of a life laced with evil and the dark. Her hands trembled as she slid aside the silver wrapper reminding her of eyes she wished she'd forget.

A delicate leather bracelet fell out with little pieces of carved wood hanging onto it. She smiled as she saw a scroll of parchment flanked by a gorgeous stag and a dog on one side and a wolf and a rat on the other.

She wrapped her arms around herself, carefully placing the trinket in her beaded bag right next to her knight.

_Parting of the ways is always a terrible weight to live with,_ she remembered her father telling her once outside playing in the park with him. _It happens when you least expect it but stays with you forever._ _But worry not, my little Matilda, Daddy will always be there to pick you right back up._

She wanted her Daddy to pick her up from the mess she'd made but she remembered with a sharp pang how Daddy will never even know his little Matilda again.

Come morning she dragged herself back to the cold dungeons under the watchful eyes of the faint stars above and the lilac in the air. Entering the thrum of the liveliness of the ignorant children around her felt like an insulting blow to her sorrow.

What would she not give to be as carefree as they were?

The bitterness of the truth invaded her mind. She couldn't leave Harry alone. She would never be able to live with herself. He hadn't askef for this either.

Woeful for the love she had lost she may be but nothing could reduce Hermione Granger to such a state that she'd give up on her loyalty to the one man who had been there every step of the way.

She knew the burden of the world lay on his shoulders. She understood how it could turn into a lonely pursuit and she'd be damned if she let herself lose herself. She knew he needed her toncenter him.

Embracing the steel she knew ran in her blood, she held her head high, all signs of distress lost, as she walked inside the Great Hall, never once sparing a glance towards the Gryffindors. It wasn't home anymore.

Home was gone. Home had been burned down into the ground.

And she had to avenge it.

She sat herself down on one of the vacant benches beside Kingsley who turned to her with concern in his eyes, 'Hermione, how are you feeling? Madame Pomfrey wouldn't allow anybody to visit you. I and Regulus tried come see you many times.'

She nodded, 'I am feeling loads better now, thank you. How are you dealing with the stress of NEWTs coming up?'

His throaty chuckle reached her ears as she unrolled the Daily Prophet absently, 'I'll survive, I'm sure.'

Hermione laughed lightly, 'Do you still want to practice your patronus like you wanted to? I'm free next week.'

'Oh, yes, I just can't seem to get it right for some reason however much I..'

His words were interrupted as the Hall stared transfixed at a girl clad in red and gold scream at the top of her lungs, the letter in her hands crumpling and falling away as she hysterically pushed herself away from everyone.

Hermione saw as Lily attempted to gather Marlene in her arms, words of comforts on her lips.

Hermione frowned and turned her focus onto the newspaper, hoping to find out what could have happened that Marlene was now being herded out by an extremely worried McGonagall as Lily, Alice and Dorcas followed, the Marauders close behind.

She had only to read three words to understand.

_McKinnons. Attack. Rodolphus._

An icy chill crept upon her as she felt someone sidle up close to her, whispering in her ear, 'Rodolphus does us great honour. How proud you must be, Lestrange.'

She preened under Avery's gaze, 'The McKinnons had it coming.'

She spared an apologetic glance at Kingsley and rushed out the Great Hall, having lost her appetite entirely, ignoring the stares that followed.

She dreaded the fact that Avery and Rookwood had chosen the same instant to leave. She was in no mood to play along their whims.

Rookwood smirked, 'The Dark Lord must have been very pleased, I'm sure. I can't wait to leave this shithole of a school and fully surrender myself to his service.'

Avery agreed, 'It's sadly another year for Lestrange and myself. I hope Master has something _special planned_ for us to do the next time he calls upon us.'

Hermione shivered unconsciously.

'Are you cold, love?'

Her nose wrinkled at the term of endearment which sounded so dirty coming from the bastard's mouth. 'I'm well, thank you.'

Rookwood came to a sudden halt when he heard the cries of the devastated girl. He laughed as he looked at Hermione and Avery. 'Care for some fun?'

_Oh, no. Please, no._

She couldn't bear to bring Marlene more pain when she was already grieving. Hermione couldn't bear to be so inhumane.

She followed in Rookwood's footsteps against her will. Keeping up with pretences was an incredibly difficult task.

She groaned internally as she realised McGonagall had left the group of Gryffindors by themselves in the courtyard.

James glared at the approaching party, 'What do you prats want? Your presence here is unwanted.'

'Shut it, Potter,' Avery sneered .'Nobody cares about your opinions.'

Hermione hung back. She knew the heartache Marlene felt. She didn't want to be a part of whatever Rookwood and Avery had in mind.

Dorcas scowled, 'Leave before I have to hex you.'

Rookwood laughed, mocking her, 'What a pretty bitch you'd make.'

Peter roared, his eyes not leaving Hermione's who had hers shied away, 'Get out of our faces, you scum.'

Hermione heard Marlene sniffle. Her eyes met hers as Marlene advanced upon her, whipping out her wand and pressing it against Hermione's throat.

'You have no concept of remorse, do you?,' her voice broke, 'I pity you.'

_I hate myself._

Hermione sneered, 'Ah, look at that. Poor lioness with a wounded pride.'

She was surprised when she felt Sirius step in between herself and Marlene.

He growled, 'Have some decency, Lestrange or is too far beneath you?'

Hermione's resolve almost broke. She looked away from him but seeing Rookwood's gaze appraising her, she pushed him aside and disarmed the girl.

Marlene shook her head sadly, 'To think I found you an amiable friend . You're as vile as that brother of yours.'

_I hate myself._

'You hurt me, little one,' she cooed, 'My only regret is I wasn't with him to see the beauty of the carnage he's bound to have left behind.'

Before the Gryffindors could even have raised their wands, Hermione had a strong shield set up to guard her.

_I hate myself._

She smirked, 'You foolish cubs are far too slow. You really think you can win this war with such terrible skills?'

Avery held her back, motioning towards the emerald robed professor walking in their direction.

Hermione let go of Marlene's wand, throwing it away onto the ground and hating every breath she took in as she turned around and left, leaving in her wake a broken girl with her broken shrieks.

_I don't know who you are anymore,_ she couldn't agree more with whay Sirius had told her. She, too, didn't know when she had turned into a despicable human.

All she knew was that she felt all the more desperate to get to Harry as soon as she could.

The McKinnons had died four years before they were supposed to and Marlene had somehow survived.

Time had taken a course it hadn't before, leaving Harry and Hermione at a disadvantage so grievously terrible that the fate of the war now rested with the Gods.


	47. Chapter 47

_**DISCLAIMER**_. _None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Hermione's foot kept tapping nervously as she sat perusing the various books the Room of Requirement had offered to her the morning of the day she was meant to meet up with Harry. It was slowly turning into a routine. She'd encounter some sort of puzzle and research but none of it would ever bear fruition. She just could not find the answers to the mysteries that kept hounding at her in this strange timeline.

She shut her eyes and leaned back into the couch, exasperated. She allowed herself to drown in the lethargy that threatened to overcome her. All her stress was catching up with her as her body itched for a reprieve.

The war had never truly ended for her and Harry. They had been fighting for more than a decade and it was beginning to catch up.

She sighed as she felt her forearm tingle, clutching it with her hand to soothe the burn over the Dark Mark. Reluctantly pulling herself away from the comfort of the Room she sneaked out through the secret passageway leading to Hogsmeade and Apparated away to the Lestrange Manor, Voldemort's recent lair.

The familiar turrets of the castle like place that she had grown to love provided her with no warmth this morning. All they did to her was light up an oppressing urge to leave.

She walked into the foyer, never once giving in to the fancies of her mind that kept reminding her of her Papa and his soft laughter under the summer sun.

She entered the parlour to find her brothers and her sister in law standing around the Dark Lord, awaiting his command. Hermione was mildly surprised at seeing only the Lestranges being present for this meeting.

Could it be what she thought it was?

She led herself to Voldemort and curtsied, 'My Lord?'

Voldemort's red eyes gleamed as his power filled the room. 'Such tardiness. Hogwarts is truly such a hindrance. If it wasn't for the old coot it'd have been so easy to crush it.'

Hermione whispered, false praises on the tip of her tongue, 'Dumbledore is no match against you, My Lord. He may be powerful but his age renders him weak.'

He smirked, 'So it may be but I shan't strike unless I am sure of his demise.'

Bellatrix preened, 'My Master, I will follow you anywhere. You only have to say the word.'

Voldemort chuckled, trailing his knuckles softly over the woman's face, 'Ah, my Bella, his end will come sooner than later and I shall enjoy myself very much when I see the light leave his eyes. Worry not, you shall walk right beside me when the day comes.'

Hermione saw Rodolphus bow his head in what one may call reverence but she could see past it. Years with him had taught her some things and she knew how he felt thoroughly repulsed at his wife being fawned over by another man, no matter the one that he preached.

_Rather interesting_ , she thought to herself. He kept surprising her with his hidden depths.

She caught Rab's eyes who looked her over, searching her being for any traces of the after effects of the curse, silently ensuring her well being. He nodded at her tightly as she smiled.

Voldemort stepped back, walking towards the window and staring out at the morning glow of the winter.

'You must be wondering as for the reason I have called upon you. You are one of the most powerful among the Sacred Twenty-Eight and you have proved yourself over and over again,' he said.

He turned towards Bellatrix, 'My dear, you have never failed me before. The thirst for blood that I see inside you is unparalleled. You remain, to this day, my most faithful servant.'

Shifting his gaze over Rodolphus he murmured, 'You upheld the sanctity of the Purebloods as you rid the world of the nuisance the McKinnons created. Following Matthew McKinnon into his home.. murdering his entire brood without even having been told to do so makes me so very proud of you. You have proven to be extremely useful and trustworthy.'

His eyes roamed over the attendees and came to a stop before Rab, 'and you, young man, you have been very, very crafty with your ways in winning over the minds of the vampire covens. They're not easily moved, I realise and yet your cunning was most wonderfully used to target their strengths and put them to use against their forces. Incredibly marvellous!'

Rab's jaw tightened as he fell to his knees, 'My Lord, whatever I did was only so you can lead us to a greater tomorrow. I shall never hesitate to lay down my life for you.'

Voldemort ordered, 'Rise, my man Rabastan.' His steps grew louder as he came to stand right before Hermione. His calculated glare appraised her, 'You have such potential. I can't wait for you to fully give yourself up to me. I have many a things planned for you, young girl,' he circled around her. 'Your knowledge is vastly required for what I desire. Greyback's pack grows restless. It is not within my ability to keep a leash on the half breed when I find myself so indulged in my other.. endeavours. You shall do perfectly.'

Hermione whispered, 'Anything you ask of me, My Lord.'

'The goblins, too, are causing such a ruckus. What a shame. Their skills are something to behold and yet..' he said as he closed his eyes. 'Another important task I shall leave for when you are with us.'

He went around each member, slolwy regarding them and invading their minds. Bringing out his wand from within his robes he levitated a tiny casket, similarly designed as the one that had held the ring, and let it drop into Rodolphus' outstretched hands.

The cold inside the room multiplied tenfold as the dark energy vibrated off of the Horcrux inside. Hermione almost bit the inside of her cheek as she felt the dread envelope her, the darkness calling her forward.

'My Lord?' Rodolphus whispered.

Voldemort looked at him coldly, shivers erupting down the backs of the Lestranges. 'You will guard this with utmost care. It is a most precious trinket and should you fail I am certain you know the extent of my grief that would follow your sister's untimely death.'

Hermione saw Rab's fists curl in anger at the threat and sweat trail down his forehead despite the chill inside the room.

Rodolphus too seemed a little apprehensive while his wife looked like the happiest woman in the world. Her face glowed at the prospect of such faith from her master.

Voldemort placed a tender hand on Hermione's cheek and led her to the center, 'My dear, I do hope you will not hold it against me. I am merely a man who favours to keep his treasures away from prying eyes and safer than the most heavily guarded secret. I find you as the perfect leverage.' He stepped closer to her, taking a deep breath and letting her scent waft over him. He moaned, 'It would be a loss for us to let go of you so soon. I am sure your brother will understand.'

Bellatrix bent down to place a kiss at his feet as he moved even closer to Hermione, his gaze never wavering from her, 'Master, you will see how the family will do everything to keep your treasure safe.'

Rab murmured, 'It's an honour you have bestowed upon us, My Lord. You shall not regret it.'

Rodolphus claimed, 'We shall deposit it in our vault at Gringotts. Rabastan is extremely proficient at curses. Being one of the richest it is placed at the very deepest of the levels, right by the dragon. I am certain no harm will come to the contents of this box, My Lord.'

Voldemort smiled gently at Hermione, making her heart beat faster in terror. Kindness on his being seemed like the most terrifying thing on earth. His calm manner unnerved her.

'I am sure it won't. After all the aftermath would be most distressing should you let it.'

At his clear dismissal the family dispersed from the parlour.

Rodolphus placed a comforting hand on Hermione's shoulder before he departed, 'Nothing will happen to you, sister. I vow to you. I will die before I let something happen to you.'

Hermione watched him leave with Bellatrix on his side. Rodolphus' love for herself never failed to baffle her.

How could a man so cruel.. so wantonly evil be capable of an emotion so pure?

Rab noticed her confused expression. He guided her away to the front lawns, walking over to the edge of the property. As they reached the end of the wards, Hermione felt a tug in her belly as Rab took her to their home.

She followed him inside, seeing how the muscles of his back flexed in his barely suppressed anger.

He stepped into the living room and helped her remove her cloak. 'He's threatened your life, Mi. Something is off about this entire deal. How could a cup possibly be this important?'

Hermione pretended to be as curious as him, 'Whatever it is he needs it safe. We'd do best to stay away. Knowing him, I'm certain it's something very Dark.'

Rab pinched the bridge of his nose, throwing himself onto the divan, 'As loyal as Bellatrix is to him I still can't ignore the feeling that she might try to do something to this little cup just so she can hurt you.'

Hermione smiled sadly as she took his hand, 'You're thinking far too ahead, Rab. She might hate my guts but her faith in Voldemort is greater than everything else. I wouldn't put it past her to abandon Rodolphus just so she could somehow please her master better. She will never dare sabotage something he values so much.'

Rab chuckled, 'You, sister, will turn all my hair grey.'

She smiled, dropping herself onto the ground and burrowing her head in his lap, 'Are you okay? Truly? You seem so withdrawn ever since you've returned. You didn't even fight me when you found Harry on my side.'

His brows furrowed, his gentle fingers threading through her curls, 'I am doing the very best I can to survive this war, Mi. I am okay. And as for the bloke Harry, I trust you.'

She looked up at him from under her lashes, 'Rab, I worry about you too, you know?'

He sighed, 'I just.. while I was away with Lucius I saw things I never wish to see again. Voldemort's crimes extend so far beyond our borders. It's frightening what may happen if he achieves world domination like he wants to.'

'It will be chaos,' she quietly observed, losing herself in the tranquility he brought to her.

She had missed him so much.

'You are my life, Hermione,' he said. 'I could never bear to go on living without you.' He whispered, 'That man.. Harry.. his appearance in your life means something big. I can see it and it makes me feel so small. Whatever it is you're up to.. it _terrifies_ me gravely.'

She held his hand to her lips, 'Please, Rab.. don't.. don't think about it.. you will only bring yourself pain if you do.'

He shook his head, his eyes watering, 'I promised you I would always, always come back to you but.. what about you? Will you?'

She bit her lip. She couldn't lie to him.

Rab's heart broke as he saw her gaze shy away from him. 'I thought so,' he murmured. 'What have you brought upon yourself?'

Hermione stood on her feet, letting go of her grip on him. 'I love you, big brother.'

She walked away, never once looking back at his tear stained face.

Rab begged, 'Please stay.'

She shrugged her shoulders sadly, 'You know I can't.'

'Let me help you.. please.. Voldemort is a smart man. You're a spy, Mi and.. you're giving up everything. You're giving up your life.

'Victory stands on the back of sacrifice,' she mumbled and left.

Once outside she imagined Harry's flat and spun away before her resolve could break and send her running to her brother so she could just leave everything behind and forget her worries in the safety he'd provide.

She cursed her traitorous thoughts as her feet landed in an overly cluttered room. The floor was covered with an endless stream of papers while all the furniture had been pushed away.

She called out, 'Harry?'

'In a minute!' She heard him yell in response.

She dropped her things and removed her shoes, her bare feet padding over to the kitchen to find Harry fumbling over a pot of tea.

Something seemed wrong. His movements were forced and his muscles tense.

'It's difficult with magic. The Muggle way is easier,' he commented.

Hermione laughed lightly, leaning against the doorframe. 'And here we have the Chosen One failing at tea, ladies and gentlemen.'

'Oh, shut it,' he said fondly but Hermione saw his eyes darken as he poured the hot liquid into two separate cups. Handing over one to her he sat down in a chair.

Hermione followed suit and mumbled, 'The Cup is in the Lestrange vault.'

His eyes lit up, 'Another one down. When can we retrieve it?'

'It would be suspicious if I went to the vaults right now. Rab is the one who tends to the finances. I am free to go but since I've never been before it wouldn't seem right. I could ask Rab to do it but I'd prefer to keep him away from this mess for as long as I can.'

Harry nodded for her to go on.

She sighed heavily, 'I can see him succumbing to the feelings of guilt inside him. He still thinks he brought this upon me. I think he even suspects that I know a lot more than I let on. I won't be surprised if he figured it out, to be honest.'

Harry's brows rose, 'Hermione, is it safe to let him keep wondering? I could take care of the matter.'

Hermione shook her head, 'No, I'm not going to let anybody play around his head and manipulate his memory. I trust him with my life.'

Seeing his incredulous look she stressed, 'I trust him with _your_ life.'

Harry smiled at her, 'I am glad you have him, then.'

The corners of her lips twitched, 'Yes, I am incredibly lucky.' She looked up, 'I can get the Cup after my time at Hogwarts is over.'

'That's decided then. I just hope it stays there.'

'It stayed inside the Lestrange vault for twenty one years,' she noted.

'And the McKinnons should have died four years lated.. Marlene included,' Harry said, bringing up the main reason behind their early meeting.

Hermione sipped her tea silently, pondering. 'I would know its location wherever it went. Don't worry. Besides, I don't think it will change.'

He rubbed his eyes tiredly, 'I don't know, Mione. The enitre business has chased away any sleep I may have had. We don't know what else could change.'

'Its just one incident which, believe me, I'm terribly guilty about,' she muttered. 'I had hoped to save the McKinnons this time around. Marlene is such a lovely girl. She didn't deserve it.'

'I wonder how much of it is to do with our meddling,' he frowned, the guilt in his voice evident.

'Stop it, Harry,' she admonished. 'Whatever it is.. let's just hope time doesn't go completely haywire.'

'I pray for you to be right,' he nodded solemnly, pushing away the cup and resting his head on the tabletop. 'What happened that night, Mione? I can't figure it out for the life of me.'

Hermione looked at her hand, the tiny red scar on her index finger almost faded, 'I have no idea. I do have theories but my mind keeps rejecting them. Nothing makes sense anymore.'

'I just don't see how the pain could have.. passed onto me. Could it be some kind of curse that affects everyone in the given vicinity?'

'It could be anything for all we know, Harry. I don't have a definitive answer for any of it.'

He clutched his head, almost as if in pain, 'What about the voice then? The white light or whatever it was?'

She looked at him carefully, 'Do you think that maybe you somehow engaged the Stone to work in our favour.'

Harry shook his head, 'I didn't do anything, Hermione. I didn't cast any spell. The ones I did, they rebounded. Nothing worked.'

She gnawed at her lips, thinking. Silence surrounded them as Harry brought out the ring from inside his room, placing the it in front of her.

The waves of magic rolling off of it pulsated around the two as they stared at it. Hermione quietly pulled out the little case she had used to store the tiara. She picked up the ring tenderly, almost scared it would burn her again. Settling it inside the case, she restored it to the depths of her bag.

She sighed and got up on her feet, casting a cleaning charm on the cups.

She commented wryly, 'Well, we know your luck followed you even in this time. There was no way we could have made it out alive that night otherwise.'

Something shifted in his eyes. He looked almost dejected. 'It did, I suppose,' he said absently.

'So what's happening with the Resistance?'

He looked up at her, startled out of his reverie, 'Oh, well we managed to eliminate Rosier. He's gone. His body will be found in a few days I'm sure. The Carrows are next.'

She nodded. 'Er, Harry?'

'Yes?'

She rubbed her neck, hesitant, 'Do you plan to reveal your identity to the Order now that you've properly aligned with Dumbledore on your agendas?'

He frowned, 'Why do you ask? Is there a problem?'

She sighed, 'Yes, well, Sirius came to see me. He saw you the other day in the Hospital Wing. He knows we are close and if you suddenly show up as the head of an organisation working against Voldemort it'd be too suspicious for you to care about me so much.

'As much as it hurts to say it but we can't completely discredit Peter as being a potential spy for Voldemort eventually. Nobody knows if he was this loyal even in the previous timeline. If Sirius knows about you then so does Peter. If something happens in the near future that leads Peter to Voldemort it'd be very sensitive information that will be relayed over to him. Our entire operation would collapse.'

Harry held her hand comfortingly, 'Don't worry. Nobody outside of the Resistance knows who heads it or even who all the members are. Even Dumbledore has only ever met me and just two of my men. Besides, it was always my plan for my second in command to negotiate whatever dealings we have with the Order. I have never been one to directly meet with my clients.'

She smiled at him.

He mumbled, 'You care deeply about Peter. I can see that. But be careful, Mione. He betrayed them once. He could do it again. You're already in so much pain with your role as a spy.. I hate to see you so brave and strong and broken all at once. I hate what you have to do just because you chose to befriend me.' His voice broke, 'You have had to go through so much. You would have been happy if you hadn't ..'

Hermione put her fingers against his lips, 'No, Harry, don't you dare finish that sentence. I'd be dead. Not happy. There's a difference. I know you're into self-sacrifice,' she chuckled, 'but we're in this together whether you like it or not. I and .. Ron,' she said as pain laced through her, 'we always knew we'd follow you anywhere. He never broke his promise and neither will I.'

She saw the unshed tears in his eyes as he sighed. She brushed his tears away and muttered, 'Harry, I know you down to the sound of your heartbeat. Tell me. What's bothering you? You're acting strange.'

He snorted, 'You always did know me the best.'

She saw his disheartened expression morph into something deeper. Remorse.

'It's five years today.. since I woke up here,' he explained. 'It's a difficult time. I just can't stop thinking about everyone. Especially,' he whispered, 'Draco.'

She felt a pressure build behind her own eyes as she heard his name. 'Draco,' she repeated.

'All the time that I spent alone searching for you, I was so scared, Mione. I was so scared I'd lost you too.'

She wrapped her arms around him, 'You were never gone, Harry. I could always feel you. I knew you would find me in the end. I knew you'd come for me.

'Together till the last fight', she stressed.

'Together till the last breath,' he mumbled.

She saw the sorrow in his eyes. Her heart went out to him. She could see the loneliness crawl upon him as he felt the burden of fighting a war when nobody even knows what it truly means. Nobody would ever realise the toll it had taken on him.

Nobody would ever know how the Chosen One broke under the pressure.

Reminded of a night as desolete and lonesome as this, she entwined her fingers with him. She smiled at him gently and pulled him to the middle of the kitchen.

Hermione hummed the words to a song she hadn't heard in a very long time, ' _Forgive us now for what we've done. It started out as a bit of fun_.'

Harry only had to strain his mind for a moment before he too smiled and sang along, spinning her around, ' _Hey_ _little train wait for me.. I was held in chains but now I'm free. I'm hanging in there, don't you see.._ '

He twirled her around, chuckling as he saw her laughing softly in the warm glow of the lamp overhead. His wistful eyes turned misty as he remembered the soltidue that had plagued the duo and how they'd scrambled for a sense of normalcy. The night had been weary and miserable but they'd found each other as they always did.

Never had they forgone the other. And never would they forgo the other now.

' _The train that goes to the kingdom .. we're happy, Ma, we're having fun.. It's beyond my wildest expectations_.'

He watched as her curls bounced around her, her robes billowing. She pressed herself against him, leaning her head against his chest.

He mumbled, ' _We're older now, the light is dim.'_

She whispered, 'There's a reason we're alive when everyone we love is dead, Harry. We're here so we can avenge them. So we can seek retribution.'

'But how far can we go? You still have hope?'

She pulled back to look into his eyes, 'We're still alive?'

He smiled sadly. 'We have given up so much.'

She muttered, 'I know, Harry. The weight of it all is unsettling. We've been making impossible choices for a very long time now. It hurts every time I look at their faces. Your family's faces, I mean. They look so betrayed .. so tortured.'

'What you're doing is for the better of this world, Mione,' he said as he nudged her chin, making her face him. 'You know how I know it? Because it makes the people you love hate you a little more everyday.'

They swayed to the music in their hearts, their movements fluid and comforting.

'I know how you feel,' she muttered. 'You poured all of yourself into everything that you did for this war. And now you're empty.'

He chuckled darkly, 'We all did, didn't we? We were going to change the world. Looks like it's changed us. In _irreparable_ ways.'

She whispered, 'Blood on my hands. Dead beneath my feet.'

He pulled away from her, his eyes glinting with determination. He shook her, 'No, Hermione. Listen to me. First we get through this war. We _win_ this war. And then we look for our humanity again.'

She nodded at him numbly, losing herself in his warmth.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I know the dance scene wasn't in the books but its too good to be ignored. I love the song the producers decided to use. (O children by Nick cave and the Bad Seeds)


	48. Chapter 48

** _DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Now that she had Harry to lean on time had passed away considerably faster despite the gnawing absence of the Marauders from her life. Falling upon them in corridors still never failed to ignite in her the urge to apologise and put everything behind them but the steadily oppressing nature of her role in the war always kept her from it.

As days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months she slowly began to desensitise herself to the moments when her eyes would fall upon one of the boys or Lily. With a little effort she managed to practice such strict restraint that she wouldn't even let her gaze wander over to them anymore. Her eyes would flit away from theirs and she would feel no tremors of guilt wrack her body.

She had trained herself to feel nothing.

Bringing down Voldemort was the only thing mattered. She was made to be a killing machine and that's what she would be.

Her mind riddled with the thoughts of her struggle, she looked out at the rolling countryside outside the windows of the Hogwarts Express on its way to London. She couldn't help but close her eyes and revel in the little bit of peace she had left before she'd be plunged into Death Eater activity for the rest of the summer.

She could hear the steaming engine of the train even as she slept, her mind travelling back to a time where she had spent the train ride immersed in her homework for the summer, coming up with all sorts of ideas as Ron kept trying to pry away the offending pieces of parchment away from her hands and Harry chatted away with the twins who kept stealing sly glances at the bushy haired girl and her kneazle undoubtedly figuring out new ways to add to her troubles.

'We're almost there, Mi,' she heard someone murmur. 'You should get up now.'

Her brows furrowed at the strange nickname, as she swatted away the offender's arm, 'A little while longer, Ronald.'

'Mi? Get up! Just five minutes to go and we'll be rolling in at King's Cross.'

She reluctantly popped her eyes open, groaning softly as reality crashed in on her. She smiled apologetically at the boy beside her, 'I'm sorry, Reggie.. I didn't realise it was you.'

Reggie winked at her, 'It's alright. I didn't really want to wake you up either. It looked like you were having a pretty good dream with the way you kept grinning.'

Hermione chuckled, reminiscent, 'Oh, it was a good dream.. a very good dream. I almost wish I was _living_ my dream. If I could I would never wake up from it.'

He nudged her, his eyes alight with mischief, 'Tell me, who's this Ronald chap? Got yourself a little crush on some bloke, have you? Do I know him?'

Her smile fell as she felt tears well up in her eyes. Suppressing them she mumbled, 'He's just someone I used to know.'

Reggie's cool nature faltered at seeing the sudden switch in her mood, 'He broke your heart? You look upset.'

She shook her head sadly, 'No, he never broke my heart. He mended it time and time again.'

Reggie nodded, a little uncomfortable. 'So what are you doing during the summer?'

She looked at him sharply, 'As if you don't know.'

He looked away.

'If you must know I will be there when your time comes,' she mumbled.

'I see,' he said as he got up on his feet, pulling down his trunk from the overhead hanger the moment the train lurched to a stop.

Hermione gathered her things and offered, 'Let me shrink them for you.'

He nodded and she cast the simple charm, pocketing her own things and following him out to the station that had already begun to mill with students rushing to each other and hugging them and saying their teary goodbyes.

As the pair's eyes fell upon the imposing figure of Orion Black in the distance, Hermione clutched Reggie's hand tightly, 'You can still change your mind but whatever choice you make I will always have your back.'

He looked taken aback. His stormy eyes gauged the sincerity in her words, 'I am glad to have you as a friend. I'll see you soon, Mi.'

She nodded and watched him go. Before she began looking for her brother her eyes wandered over the station seeking out a familiar dark skinned boy.

She made a beeline for the green and silver clad boy standing beside a blond Ravenclaw.

'Kingsley. Lovegood,' she greeted.

Xenophilius wrinkled his nose and frowned, leaving the two Slytherins alone.

Kingsley smiled sadly at her, 'Hermione, I hope you can frogive him for a lack of manners.'

She huffed, 'He has good reason to stay away. I don't mind.'

'I hope you have a good semester next year,' he said sincerely.

'We will see about that, I suppose. The next year will be tremendously trying now that you're leaving.'

'You will find .. suitable company eventually, I'm certain,' he said, not harshly.

She smiled tightly, 'Good luck for your future endeavours. You will make an excellent Auror someday.'

He shook her hand firmly, his eyes burning a hole into her forearm where he knew the Dark Mark rested. He whispered, 'I hope we never have to see each other again.'

Hermione chuckled darkly, 'I do too.'

She had only just turned around when she found herself facing her brother. A huge grin split across her face as she hugged him lightly, 'Rab!'

Rab wrapped an arm around her and led her away from the thrum of the station, 'Feeling good, Mi?'

'I caught up on my sleep during the ride so yes, for a change I do feel incredible.'

He steered her away from the chaos, making small talk, 'Blinky is preparing French cuisine for you today. She's been exploring a lot of areas around the cottage. She's also picked up on some Italian.'

'That's amazing. I wish she could learn a bit of Muggle food too,' she said wistfully. 'Anyway, I've been meaning to ask. How's Melinda?'

'Safe at the moment. She insists on joining the Order again. She claims they'll be able to protect her if the need arose.'

'What are you going to do?', she frowned.

He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, 'I can't stop her, Mi. It's her life. I have no authority to tell her what to do. Besides, she would never rest now that she's completely fit thanks to you.'

She nodded thoughtfully and stumbled as she ran into somebody's back.

Her face burned up in embarrassment when she saw Sirius turn around to look at her indfferently. No matter how she'd forced herself to learn to elicit no reaction to such coldness from him it still felt like someone had ripped her heart out from her chest.

Rab smiled politely at the boys before him, 'Sirius, James! How are you?'

The boys shared a look. James nodded at her brother tightly, 'Lestrange. We are well, thank you very much.'

Rab frowned at the apathy in his voice, 'Is everything alright?'

Sirius said, 'As good as it can ever be with the likes of you roaming around the free streets.'

Hermione saw the confusion and hurt in her brother's eyes. She shook her head at him, dragging him away.

Rab looked at her curiously, peeking at the boys who looked on with a subdued rage in their eyes. 'What's going on? Even back when you were in the Hospital Wing all those months ago I saw how none of them even showed up.'

Hermione muttered, 'That's because they _know_.'

Rab halted in his steps and rubbed a hand against his face, 'Of course.. Damn, I never even realised. Mi, I'm so sorry..'

She placated, 'It's okay, Rab. It was my decision. I let them know. I staged a particularly offensive scene so they'd know I don't want them hanging around me anymore.'

His brows furrowed yet again, 'Why would you do that?'

She looked around themselves and Apparated them away. Walking side by side with him along the gardens of their little cottage on the French border she said, 'I can't have them know I'm a spy. If someone found out the game would be over.'

'But.. they're your best friends,' he echoed.

'Exactly. What do you think would happen if one of them was captured and Voldemort went snooping around their minds? And it's very likely they could be caught since they're joining the Order soon after Hogwarts. The more the number of people that know the greater the danger I put myself in.'

Rab nodded understandingly, 'I just wish you'd let me help you more often. Especially now that you are truly alone.'

She breathed out a sigh of exasperation, 'Rab, you are helping me. You just don't know it. Simply being with you does wonders for me. You keep me grounded to my roots. You give me a reason to fight.'

Something shifted in his gait, 'Hermione, I need to know what you're doing. You have to give me something more to go on with.'

She couldn't take this anymore. Her patience was on the ride down under, 'You're asking me for too much!', she yelled.

She saw him take a step back, sorrow in his eyes, 'You are my _sister_. You need me. Please. Let me help you.'

'At the risk of your own life?'

'If it means saving yours then yes!', He said. 'I signed up to be a Death Eater only so you didn't have to. But you went and did it anyway. Then you tell me you gave yourself up to be a spy for Dumbledore. What am I supposed to make of all this? And how does that bloke Harry fit into all of this mess? How could you have known him before you'd even met him. And how could you two be so in tune with each other when you haven't known each other for a very long time? Do you have some sort of strange dream .. connection with him or what?'

Hermione shook her head vehemently, 'You promised you wouldn't ask questions unless I was ready to give you the answers.'

He thundered, 'That was before you told me you expected to die doing this crap!'

Hermione's comeback remained stuck in her throat. Rab had never before raised his voice at her. She couldn't help the shameful tears that rolled down her cheeks.

Rab shut his eyes in remorse. He wiped away her tears tiredly, 'Mi, I don't want to hurt you but don't you see how you're causing me so much pain every day? I'm sick with worry for you, love.'

'I don't want to hurt you,' she whispered, her voice hoarse with emotion.

'Then tell me what you're upto. If you want we can still run away and go into hiding. We never have to look back.'

She chuckled wryly, 'And could you live with that? Could you live with the fact that you decided to turn your back on the world to save your own neck like a coward?'

He hung his head low as he muttered, 'As long as it keeps you safe.'

'But that's not what I want. I won't watch the world burn and fall under his reign. I was raised to be better.' _Daddy taught me to be brave._ ' _ **You**_ raised me to be better.'

'Mi, please..,' he said, broken, 'just tell me why this is so important to you? What are you hiding from me?'

'We keep coming back to it again and again.'

'Well, then stop going round in circles and be honest.'

She knew he deserved better.

She pinched the bridge of her nose. Seeing no way out of this and making up her mind she turned around and walked to the edge of the property, muttering complex incantations under her breath.

She heard the footfall of Rab's steps, 'What are you doing?'

'Altering the wards,' she answered mechanically.

He raised a brow, 'And how could you possibly know such advanced magic?'

'I'm hiding a lot of secrets from you, Rab.'

He cursed and then questioned her, 'Who are you planning to get accepted into the property?'

'Harry,' she said simply with a casual shrug of her shoulders.

Rab looked struck when she waved her wand and mumbled an indecipherable message to her silver patronus. He marvelled at the beautiful otter that sped away from the Lestrange siblings and into the orange skies.

He looked at her anxiously, 'Can we trust him?'

She sighed and led him inside, 'We can trust him with everything.'

Rab had only just removed his cloak when he heard a faint pop. He whipped out his wand in alarm despite the expected presence of the raven haired man who raised his arms in a sign of surrender.

Hermione lowered Rab's arm gently, her voice sounding almost defeated, 'Don't be so hostile. You wanted answers and you'll get them tonight.'

Harry raised his brows, 'He will?'

Hermione looked at him apologetically, 'It can't go any longer. We have to tell him. We've discussed this before.'

And they had. Hermione had spent countless hours trying to persuade Harry to let her give just a little bit of information to Rab to calm his nerves. He had agreed somewhat reluctantly.

Harry moved around to place his cane againt the wall before he entered the parlour and leaned against the doorframe. 'So soon?'

'Time won't wait for us forever,' she muttered before plopping down on the armchair.

Rab never once let go of his defences. Despite knowing how the man before his eyes had saved his sister's life not very long ago he couldn't just let down his guard when the world was at war.

Rab turned to his sister, 'What's going on, Mi?'

Hermione said calmly, 'Once you know this you can't go back, Rab. This is it. You cannot reveal the knowledge you learn today to anyone outside this room.'

Rab nodded his head tightly.

Harry extended his arm out to him, 'You will have to agree to an Unbreakable Vow.'

Rab's brows shot up, 'It can't possibly be this grave.'

Hermione merely looked away.

Gulping down a nervous sigh, Rab raised his arm, clasping Harry's hand in his and watched as his sister rose on her feet and cast the strongest binding spell on the two.

Harry let go of Rab's hand as soon as the older man had finished chanting his end of the vow. He removed the dragon hide gloves he wore and sat down heavily into a chair beside Hermione.

He held her hand as he said, 'A few years ago a woman prophesized about the role Hermione and I would play in this war.'

Rab looked at the pair incredulously. 'A prophecy about Hermione? Why wasn't I intimidated by the Ministry?'

'Because as soon as it was made I made very sure that no third party would ever find out about it,' Harry explained. 'I destroyed it almost immediately and sent the Seer into hiding. She remains safe in an unplottable location. There's nobody who knows of her other than me.'

Rab took a moment to digest the implications of what Harry had just said. He looked imploringly at Hermione.

Hermione said, 'It's true. The prophecy said _There_ _rises the Vanquisher of the Dark Lord once more.. Born under stars older than the time of the final battle.. On his side a woman wrought in a war the world should never again come to see.. To destroy that which the darkest magic quivers before._

Rab shook his head, waving his hand absently, 'Prophecies don't always come true. Youre basing your actions on a _prophecy_? And how would you even know that it is about you two anyway? And it still doesn't explain why you two knew each other before you'd even met.'

Harry muttered, 'Think again about what the prophecy says.'

Rab frowned as Hermione repeated Trelawney's words. He mulled over the strange sentences in his head over and over again, never once giving in to what he had already realised it meant.

He laughed humourlessly, 'This is ridiculous. Are you trying to fool me? Is this a joke to you, Mi?'

Hermione stood up on her feet, silently taking his hand and stressing, 'Under stars older than the time of the final battle.. wrought in a war the world should never again come to see.'

Rab pulled his hand away from hers, his eyes boring a hole into the wall ahead. He fell down to the ground with a soft thud.

'Stars older than time of the final battle.. a war the world should never come to see again.. stars older than time of the final battle.. a war the world should never come to see again..', he said. 'All those nights you weren't dreaming.. you were.. _remembering_.. they weren't nightmares,' he looked stricken now, his eyes fervent seeking those of his sister's, 'They were _memories_..'

Hermione bit her lip, 'They were memories from another war against the same man.'

Rab chuckled darkly and whispered, 'You're from a different time.'


	49. Chapter 49

** _DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

'You're from the future,' he mumbled, dumbfounded.

Harry stepped up to explain upon seeing the terror in Hermione's eyes, afraid she would lose her brother's acceptance. 'We came here from the year 2000.'

All colour drained away from Rab's face, 'Voldemort is still alive? Twenty three years later and he's still alive?'

Harry nodded solemnly, 'He vanished in October 1981 but returned in the year 1995.'

Rab was in denial. 'No, none of this makes sense.' He turned his gaze towards Hermione who was standing stock still onto the side, her body drawn in on itself. 'Mi, you were _born_ into our family. How could you have possibly travelled through time? It's against the very laws of nature.'

Hermione cleared her throat, plucking up the courage to tell him, this man she loved so much, the reality of it all. 'There was never a Hermione Lestrange in the original timeline. We used an incredibly ancient ritual to get here that simply created an entirely new life for us that would prove to be the most practical and useful for our mission.' She sighed, 'My nightmares started when I was nine, remember?'

Rab nodded his head absently, 'Was that when you _woke up_ in my sister's body?'

Her heart broke at the rejection. 'Yes, that's when I woke up in your sister's body.'

Rab was grasping at the edges now, 'But.. does that mean that my sister.. my Mi, is she.. is she _gone_?'

'No, she.. well it's just me in here. I'm her and she's me,' she said, begging him with her eyes to look at her.

Rab fell into a chair, his fingers clutching his head tight as his mouth tried to form the words he needed to say.

Hermione squeaked, her voice quivering as a sob built up her throat, 'It's still me, Rab..'

Rab looked at her sharply, 'Where did my sister go when you got up? Where did the girl I read bedtime stories to go? Where did the girl I fixed the _ouchies_ for go? Our parents died so young.. my sister would always keep asking me to let her sleep with me and I never once refused. Where did _my_ little girl go?'

Tears trailed down her cheeks as her throat tightened. She fell into a disheveled heap onto the floor as her chin trembled.

Harry's heart broke as he took in the sight of his helpless friend. He intervened, standing boldly in front of the older Lestrange, ' _She_ is your sister. You would never have had one if not for the ritual. Your sister only regained her _true self_ when she turned nine. Your sister is still here and she needs you right now more than ever before.'

Rab's eyes begged the man before him to understand, 'But my sister.. she was.. how can she.. my.. my sister is supposed to.. no, no..'

Rab's own tearful gaze moved over to the girl, his pride not letting him let go of the pressure building behind his eyes in the presence of a strange man. He felt his breath catch as he took her in.

Her wild mane of curls and her little nose. The same rosy cheeks and the same heavy lashes.

She was his sister but.. not?

He saw her wring her hands in worry. He had never before seen her so out of place.. so uncollected. She mumbled incoherent things as she sobbed, 'Please, don't throw me away, Rab.. I love you.. I'm still me.. please, don't make me go.. I can't.. not without you.. I love you..'

He felt a firm hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Harry smiling at him sadly, 'That's her whether you believe it or not. She's not just the girl you took care of when she was a child. She's also the girl that held your hand when you saw your Papa die. She's also the girl that gathered you when your closest friend was on the brink of death. She's also the girl that has loved you for as long as she's known you, the girl who learned to love once again after having been stolen of everything. The lonely girl who found in you her brother.. her family. And today she needs you.'

Rab's shoulders dropped in resignation. Tears spilled over the sides of his eyes as he stood on his shaky legs, dragging himself to Hermione.

He dropped to his knees, nudging her chin towards him and touching his forehead against her, feeling her cold and clammy skin. He pressed feather light kisses against her eyelids and whispered, 'I am so, so sorry, Mi.. you must think I'm a terrible man. I.. you.. I love you, sister. I have been so ignorant. Please forgive me for having been swayed away by the rush of such strange knowledge. Nothing could ever shake my love for you. Nothing could ever make me forget you.

'Mi, hear me out,' he said, making her look deep into his eyes, 'I am your brother and you're not getting rid of me this easy. Okay?'

She moaned out, 'I have been lying to you for so long, I swear I wanted to tell you, Rab but I was so scared. I love you, big brother.'

Rab smiled at her and caught her in a tight embrace, revelling in the familiarity of her presence. He rubbed soothing circles on her back as he murmured, 'Forgive me, Mi, please. Never again must you think I could abandon you without a second thought. You just caught me by surprise, that's all. I love you.'

She smiled at him timidly, the two helping each other up and wiping away the tears that they had shed.

Harry turned around to give them a moment, feeling grossly like an outsider. Never before had the full meaning of loneliness ever crept upon him. He didn't rue Hermione the family she had to tether her but he couldn't entirely be sure about feeling no envy towards her.

If only he, too, could run to his parents and bury himself in their warmth. Sighing to himself in his silent misery, he smiled warmly at the pair.

'I suppose you have many questions to be answered,' he said to the man.

Rab shook his head, sitting close to Hermione, 'This still sounds so ridiculous.'

'It's a lot to take in, I understand.' He pulled out a vial of the truth serum and gulped down its contents.

Rab gasped, 'Harry, I trust my sister and so I trust you. You needn't have gone this far.'

Harry merely waved away his complaints, 'It's easier this way. There will remain no doubts.'

Hermione took a deep breath and called for Blinky.

'Missy Hermy, how may I help you? Should Blinky serve dinner? Everything is ready already, Missy Hermy.'

'No, Blinky, I believe dinner will have to wait. Can you bring us some tea and biscuits?'

The trio spent the next few moments in silence, each recollecting their thoughts before they were startled into action as the little house elf appeared balancing a tray laden with tea and treats. Blinky placed them on the table.

Rab served the hot liquid to the two friends. He sipped from his own cup and asked, 'So, what is your story?'

Hermione sighed, 'There was another prophecy in our time that claimed Harry to be the Chosen One. He was meant to be Voldemort's downfall. Voldemort plagued his life for years before the final battle. The war dragged on for roughly four years. It was only in the last few months that out desperation grew so intense that we had to resort to such grievously unstable magic. We used Elladora Black's ritual to get here.'

Rab frowned and looked at Harry, 'Are you related to James Potter in the future?'

Harry smiled inspite of himself, thinking of his father's messy hair and his mischievous eyes, 'I'm his son.'

'That explains a lot. You look exactly like your father.'

Harry broke into a quiet laughter, almost transported back to simpler times when he had only just heard it so many times how uncannily similar he looked like his father. 'I have heard that one time too many.'

Hermione threaded her fingers with his, comforting him with her warmth.

'I am Harry James Potter, son to Lily and James Potter,' he said wistfully.

Rab chuckled, 'So he did manage to woo the pretty redhead eventually. She will do well to balance him out.' He turned to Hermione, 'Were you a Black, then, since you used Elladora's journal? I'm assuming you had access to the Black library so you must have been one.'

Harry saw the hesitation in Hermione's voice as she refuted his guess, 'No, I wasn't. I wasn't a Black.'

Rab laughed wholeheartedly, 'Thank Merlin or I'd have gotten really worried about the nature of your more than friendly feelings for Sirius then.'

Hermione chuckled, uncomfortable. Harry knew she was terrified of admitting her heritage to him. He balked at the idea of her hiding her identity from Rab. She underestimated the extent of her brother's feelings for her.

Rab asked, 'If you couldn't finish Voldemort back in your time what makes you think you can do it now?'

Harry sighed, 'Voldemort made sure he would survive even at the event of his death.'

Rab looked mortified, 'A horcrux?'

The corners of Harry's lips lifted in morbid humour, ' _Horcruxes_.'

Rab looked scandalised, 'More than one? How is that even possible?'

'You're overlooking just how evil Voldemort truly is,' Hermione mumbled under her breath, her fingers rubbing against her neck absently. 'He's not one to shy away from deeds so terrible.'

Harry, too, shivered as he noticed where her fingers went. He remembered the night she'd received her scar on her neck all too well. He shut his eyes to rid himself of possibly the worst memory he had.

The night had brought pain deeper than that he'd felt even at seeing his beautiful Ginny's lifeless body sprawled against the white snow.

_Get a grip on yourself,_ he chided himself.

Rab questioned, 'How many does he have?'

'He had five before he vanished. Seven after we fought him last,' Hermione replied.

Hardy continued, 'But we can't tell how many he has currently. We will have to wait for as long as we obtain all five before we can strike at him or the entire plan will fail. It could take as long as 1979.'

'The Cup is one of them.'

Rab rose his brows, 'The one we received after the McKinnons were murdered?'

'Yes,' Hermione mumbled. 'We will retrieve it as soon as I leave Hogwarts.'

'I could get it for you. It wouldn't be difficult.'

'No,' she said with determination. 'You aren't going anywhere near it. A horcrux is very dark magic, Rab. I and Harry have lived with one for months. We can tolerate its effects. You could say we have been desensitised to it. Even then it is difficult to fully suppress it. We don't know how susceptible you would be to its magic. All you're supposed to do for now is keep a track of it although we're pretty certain it will stay in the vaults for decades to come like it did the last time.'

Rab complained, 'You can't tell me what to do. _I'm_ the big brother here, young lady.'

Hermione chuckled, 'Actually I'm close to thirty, technically speaking.'

Harry laughed, 'Damn, Mione, we're old.' He shook his head fondly, looking at her with reverance. 'I've loved you for fifteen years.'

Hermione shrugged, 'I've loved you for nineteen.'

'That's not fair!'

Rab waved his hand before the duo, 'Wait, hang on. Love? That's a pretty strong emotion to just throw around.'

Harry grinned at the protectiveness in his voice, 'Don't worry. She's like a sister to me.'

Hermione smiled gently at Harry and got up. She perched on his armrest, leaning her head onto his shoulder.

Rab wondered, 'So how do you fit here, Mi?'

Harry beat her to it, 'All my trials.. every last one of them.. I was accompanied by my two best friends. Ron and Hermione.'

'The other bloke you kept calling for,' Rab realised.

Hermione nodded her head sadly, 'Yes.' She was glad he didn't ask where he was now. Surely, he'd understood.

'When did it all start?' he directed the question at Harry.

Harry sighed, squeezing Hermione's hand softly, seeking courage, 'I was eleven when he first tried to come back.'

'Eleven?,' Rab said, aghast.

'Eleven, yes. He tried every year after that except our third till before he finally regained a mortal body at the end of our fourth year. I suppose every year was somehow filled with threats to my life in one way or another. It's been a tediously long journey.'

'Surely, James and Lily would have tried harder to keep you safe and protected.'

Hermione gasped.

'What is it?,' Rab asked, looking at the listlessness in Harry's eyes. 'What's wrong?'

Hermione sighed, not sure if there was even a way to break it to him lightly, 'Voldemort murdered Harry's parents when he was just a year old. As a result he grew up with muggles.'

Rab felt an icy chill creep up his back. James. The lively boy he'd seen grown up.

He pushed himself up on his feet, 'You can't be serious. Muggles could never keep him safe. I'm certain the Death Eaters would have come after him following Voldemort's demise..'

'Dumbledore had him under his protection,' Hermione said, quite oblivious to the hollowness in her voice.

Harry cleared his throat, 'It doesn't matter anymore. We can change it all. They don't have to die this time around. They _won't_. I won't _let_ them.'

Rab regarded the man before him carefully, his respect for his bravery multiplying tenfold.

'But you must only have been teenagers when the second war broke out?'

'I was seventeen,' Harry replied numbly.

'Seventeen and the weight of the world on your shoulders,' Rab muttered. 'How could Dumbledore allow this to happen?'

'Dumbledore was dead.'

Another shocked silence fell as Rab considered everything. 'Just how much did you two lose that it sent you hurtling back to a strange time with stranger people?'

'Everything from our family to our humanity,' Hermione whispered, her mind picturing a handsome blond man begging her and Harry to end his life just so they could have another chance at restoring the goodness in the world.

'Who else knows?'

'Nobody.'

The trio sat in stunned silence, their tea long forgotten as the grey clouds rolled over the countryside, the thunder rumbling like a monster beckoning them to fight.

Harry perked up suddenly, hell bent on breaking out of the gloom that had settled in, 'Remember how we were supposed to go spend a day somewhere in Muggle London after we'd got the ring?'

Hermione mumbled, 'But things never work out the way we want them to, do they?

He smiled wryly, 'We could go now. I bet,' his gaze shifted to Rab, 'you will enjoy yourself too.'

Rab seemed a little hesitant, 'Will it be safe?'

'Nobody would recognise you in Muggle clothes even with your aristocratic manners,' he snorted. 'Let me rephrase. Nobody would expect you to be out and about in Muggle streets.'

Rab shrugged his shoulders, 'At this hour?'

Hermione laughed softly, 'Muggle London doesn't go to sleep at eight in the evening, dear brother.'

She waved her wand, transfiguring the men's robes into simple cargo shorts and t-shirts and turning her own into a dress.

Rab chuckled, 'Well, this is strange. I bet Rodolphus would flip if he saw us like this.'

'All the more reason to do it.'

Harry led the two outside, holding out his arms to the siblings and Apparating them away to a dark alley. A temporary escape sounded like the best thing in the world at the moment.

Harry smirked, 'Let's go show Rab how the other side lives, eh?'

Hermione felt truly excited in a very long time. She almost jumped up in her exhuberance, following Harry out to the bustling street.

Rab hesitated only a moment, smiling to himself at the fondness in Harry's voice, and falling into step behind the duo. He had been to Muggle towns before but never at night and certainly never when the air was brimming with such intense emotions of cheerfulness.

The crowd almost terrified him, their boisterous cries shutting away everything else. He felt for his wand, unable to explain to himself the terror he felt at being so misplaced.

He slolwy eased himself back into comfort as he followed Harry who led them to the entrance of what seemed something like a fair. Rab had only heard of carnivals but never really been allowed to attend one given the status of his family. So it came as a wonder when he entered the grandly lit place and lost himself in the beautiful display of lights around him.

Sure, there were no flying broomsticks or singing canaries or glittering fairies like he'd heard about but a Muggle carnival, he realised, was no less magic than the one you'd expect in the wizarding world.

He stared at his surroundings in awe. He had never seen something so jubilantly alive. Grandiosity was certainly not a new concept but happiness at such silly things definitely was.

Harry chuckled, sweating profusely, 'Scorching hot summer day. Typical for a trip to a fair.'

Hermione giggled, 'Come on, Rab!'

She pulled him deeper into the crowd. Faint music could be heard from beyond. There were occasional gleeful screams that would suddenly pierce the air. Looking at their source Rab realised that he didn't quite know what the massive structures in the distance were.

Harry laughed at his befuddlement, 'Those are rides. Almost as exhilarating as Quidditch, or so I imagine.'

Hermione nudged Harry's shoulder lightly, and answered the unworded question in Rab's eyes, 'You could say it's the first time for both of you. The Dursleys, the muggles Harry grew up with, never really let him go out all that much.'

Harry pointed out each ride, 'That is what you call a rollercoaster. There's the ferris wheel and the helter skelter. And way over there behind the fountain is what you call a..'

The night sky was painted by the vibrant stalls and booths on either side of the trio. Rab walked up to one of the stalls, making his way through the queue and picking up three glasses of mulled wine as Harry paid the man selling the glasses with Muggle money. He took the few bills Harry pressed into his palm for later.

Hermione bought them some cotton candy and ice cream. Her ice cream wobbled perilously over the cone and dripped down her fingers as she twirled round and round. Harry munched onto the balls of sugar strands that dissolved on his tongue, sticking to his teeth better than glue.

'This is delicious,' Rab muttered, stuffing himself with the treats.

They soon lined up to await their turn at the Ferris Wheel standing amidst mindless chatter. The normalcy of the night almost unnerved Hermione but nothing could chase away the twinkle in her eyes. She hadn't felt this free in almost a decade. It felt good to prop herself onto the railing and tip her head backwards, feeling the wind ruffle through her hair. Not even the queasy feeling in her belly from the enormous ride could quench her thirst for adventure that night.

She giggled as she took in the expression on Rab's face. She wouldn't deny how he looked just like a kid who'd been gifted with a lot of candy.

They bundled into the car, sitting down side by side. Harry was overcome with giddiness as he stuck his spectacled eyes against the window, his hands pressed against the glass. Rab was no different. As the wheel moved and took them higher and higher, Hermione, too, couldn't help herself. She got up on her feet, staring down at the tiny dots of light that whizzed past across the roads.

Everything was so miniscule.. so small. She felt peace at last. So far away up in the sky. Not even her fear of heights prevailed. All she knew was she was away from the darkness that was always waiting to strike.

She was away from Voldemort and his scheming ways.

She was with her family. Her two brothers she loved more than anything in the world.

Harry whispered, 'Is this what it feels like to be happy?'

'I wish every day was as magical as this,' Hermione agreed.

'So says the witch,' Harry snickered.

Rab mumbled, 'Muggles can fly!'

Hermione's soft tinkering laughter filled the car. 'Muggles have done things wizards haven't even begun to think about. They have taken humanity over to the stars, Rab.'

She hummed under her breath, an old tune her mother used to listen to, ' _Fly me to the moon.. let me play among the stars.'_

Hardy waved his wand and saw her eyes light up as the voice of Frank Sinatra filtered in, enveloping them in a warm embrace of the summer night.

With a jolt the wheel moved again and the trio helped each other out. They walked around the park in circles, letting Rab devour everything he saw.

They made a beeline for the bonfire when they found themselves somewhere in the middle of the carnival. There was loud music playing as people danced around the burning fire, holding onto each other.

Rab looked up to find a petite redhead smiling at him shyly. He let her drag him away, hesitantly wrapping his arms lightly around her waist.

Harry laughed at the strange sight, pulling Hermione along too. Flames rose boldly against the black sky casting a red and gold glow to the people milling around it. The wind glided away with the grey plumes. The fragrance of the woody flame invaded Hermione's nostrils as she began swaying to the music.

Rab once again gravitated towards them as the sky was suddenly lit with hundreds and hundreds of sparkling lights. The burning colours drew for them a beautiful visage.

The war couldn't reach the hubub that night. The fiery blooms free and unbridled in the moonless night sky.

_Untouched. Untainted. Unmarked._

Hermione felt her fingers entwine with those of Harry's and Rab's.

'I wish we could stay here forever,' she murmured.

Harry looked down at her, 'Maybe one day, yeah?'

She nodded, 'One day.' It was a promise.

Rab maintained his silence and lightly pulled them away. He hated himself for bursting their bubble but real life wouldn't wait for them forever.

As the trio made its trek back to the dark alley there was not a word that was spoken. The three spun away into the darkness, once again arriving at the French border under the still rumbling clouds.

Blinky appeared before them, offering dinner but they politely declined.

Before the night ended, however, Rab asked the one thing that had been haunting him since the moment he'd found out the pair's secret.

He looked apprehensively at Hermione and whispered, 'Was I a good man?'

Her lowered gaze filled him with dread. He couldn't help but wonder if he himself had some unfortunate day tormented his sister. Did he truly have it in him to be so cruel?

He shut his eyes tightly. He didn't know what to think anymore. How could he ever look her in the eye again?

Harry cleared his throat, 'I should leave now. It's getting rather late.'

Hermione asked, 'Alright, will you come over often now?'

Before Harry could answer her, Rab moved forward to clasp Harry's hand in his. He said with conviction, 'No, Harry, mate, you don't have to be by yourself anymore. This family is yours too now. Stay with us.'

Harry felt his eyes brim with tears. Could it be? Could he truly belong somewhere?

Rab hurried to cover his display of raw emotion, 'It would make Hermione very happy, I'm certain.'

Harry smiled at him gratefully. He couldn't mistake the concern in Rab's eyes for anything else. He had just been accepted into their abode as a brother.


	50. Chapter 50

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Hermione thumbed through the notebook Harry had handed over to her. She tried looking at the data objectively to find out if there was something he might have missed but she came up with nothing.

She knew the impending night would haunt her forever. She wondered if Reggie even knew what he was goving up.

'Mione, you can take a breather,' Harry suggested. 'I know you're worried sick for Regulus. He's made his choice. You did the best you could.'

Hermione echoed, 'I'm quite alright the way I am.'

'You have to leave in only a few minutes.' He brought her a glass of water, 'Here, drink.' He held her shoulders, staring deep into her eyes, 'Breathe. You did everything you could. We know he's a good man. We won't let anything happen to him. He will survive. The cave will never swallow him whole.'

'You think we can still save him?', she mumbled.

'Yes, we can still save him,' Harry reaffirmed.

'Rab will meet me over at the manor. They're meeting with the centaurs today. Voldemort has personally set out along with Rab, Rodolphus and Lucius.'

'Yes.. it's time to go, Mione. Be brave.'

Nodding her goodbye to Harry, she turned on the spot and vanished into thin air.

Landing back on her feet in front of the Malfoy Manor she trudged up along the long path. Entering inside the mansion she walked up to the living room. Finding it empty she turned around to find a tiny house elf staring at her.

The elf bowed low, 'May Dinky call upon the Mistress Malfoy for kind Lady Lestrange?'

Hermione smiled gently and nodded her approval.

She stood herself by the large French windows overlooking the fountains and waited for Narcissa to appear.

Narcissa greeted her jovially, 'Ah, Hermione, dear. I must say we haven't gotten a chance to properly reacquaint ourselves.'

'Am I early, Mrs Malfoy?', she asked kindly, reminiscent of her older version who had become something akin to a mother to her long ago. 'Pardon me for intruding.'

Narcissa replied, 'Barely. Fret not. It seems as if the .. mission didn't go as well. My husband informed me the men might be delayed. I'm certain your brothers will be returning shortly with him.'

'And what of your sister, may I ask?'

'She's escorting our dearest cousin,' she said, tight lipped. 'It is certainly a great honour for the Blacks to finally provide to the Dark Lord a direct link to the family. Regulus is a most talented young man.'

Hermione could see the anxiety hidden behind Narcissa's nonchalant ways.

Narcissa motioned for her to follow her outside into the sprawling grounds, 'You may accompany me to the gardens while we await the men's arrival.'

Hermione stayed close to the older woman, the sun beating warmly down their backs. The stone path was punctuated by soft tendrils, flanked on either side by vibrantly coloured flowers. She could see the majestic peacocks prancing around in the far distance.

'How do you truly feel about your cousin joining us this evening?'

'He brings honour to his family,' she said absently. 'I am certain Aunt Walburga would be the happiest woman come morrow.'

'He's just a child,' she pointed out.

'So are you, Hermione, and yet you've achieved a reputation for yourself.'

'I am of age. Regulus isn't.'

'I can understand how you want to shelter your friend,' Narcissa said politely, 'but it is not up to you. You should forgo such hopes. It is his duty.'

Narcissa led her deeper into the iridescent blues and greens and under the shade of an ancient willow. Hermione could smell the wisteria in the air.

Her eye caught sight of many a peculiar herbs.

Thistle. Clover blossoms. Motherwort.

'I noticed you have planted various fertility herbs,' she commented.

Narcissa had a deeply sated look of grief on her face as she said, 'It's a sad fate indeed for a woman to remain childless. The generations of inbreeding among the Blacks is finally catching up, I suppose.'

Hermione reached out her hand to the beautiful woman, squeezing hers tightly. 'Is this, however, the right time to bring a child into this world?'

Narcissa frowned, looking affronted, 'Excuse me, my dear, I don't understand.'

Hermione treaded carefully. 'I only meant how it wouldn't seem like the best nurturing for the child if he or she was to grow up sharing the same roof as the most feared Dark Lord there was. I say this only out of my concern for you as another woman. It remains a desperate worry for you to consider such a thing.'

Narcissa shook her head, at a loss for words.

'A supple and impressionable mind shaped by such delicate views at an extremely tender age.. I could never imagine what it would do to the child.'

Narcissa touched the clematis vines onto the side with her gentle fingers, mulling over Hermione's words. She, too, had had the same thoughts but what _could_ she do about it? She couldn't very well approach her husband and ask him to refute his master.

'I see you,' Hermione whispered, casting a sly glance around them. 'I can see how you disagree. You have a kind heart. You hate to see innocents punished for a crime they never commited.'

Narcissa looked at her sharply, glaring, 'Are you threatening me in my very own home?'

Hermione backtracked, 'No. I'm trying to tell you that I understand your predicament.'

Narcissa settled herself gracefully into an ornately designed bench of stone placed right before a tiny sundial.

Hermione mumbled, 'You can still choose differently. Your husband hasn't yet been incriminated. You could both choose to leave his ranks.'

'You speak of treason. Your loyalty seems questionable.'

'I am faithful to my master but I am also anxious for you,' Hermione claimed. 'We may never have been close but I can see how you feel clustered among these walls.'

'You have doubts,' Narcissa raised her brow. 'What makes you think I won't use this information against you?'

Hermione smiled ruefully, 'Because every woman aches for someone to understand her and from where I stand you look quite lonely to me. Locked up in a manor with a husband falling slowly deeper into a precarious web and a sister who finds pleasure in the most atrocious deeds.'

Narcissa considered her words carefully. 'Everything has a price in this world. Even free will.'

'What's the price for your freedom, then?'

'My husband's life. A wife does as she is told. My fate is sealed.'

'Surely you don't believe that.'

'You, too, may be used as a fanciful bride to lure some reluctant heir one day,' Narcissa explained, her voice tinged with sympathy.

Hermione ignored the jibe. 'You too have the Black madness within you, Narcissa. Let it run amok. Submit to no one and it will lead you to freedom.'

Narcissa stood up on her feet, huffing, 'These are treacherous thoughts, Hermione. I suggest you choose your audience very carefully.'

Hermione shrugged her shoulders, 'Like I said, I am faithful to my master. I fear no retribution when my heart is honest to our cause.'

Narcissa frowned as the light breeze blew her blond strands into her face, 'And who, may I ask, is your master?'

Hermione chuckled, 'You know who.'

The ladies were startled when they heard a series of cracks reverberate through the air. They nodded at each other in understanding and set onto their way back inside the Manor.

Stepping inside the dimly lit living room, resting right above the dungeons where another poor soul was howling in pain that evening, caused Hermione's stomach to churn. She could see Rab from the corner of her eye. He stood beside Rodolphus, both of their figures imposing and the perfect image of pureblood heirs.

Lucius remained smirking beside the Dark Lord. She wondered what he could be so happy about if their little mission had gone awry.

Her eye also caught the sight of the immaculate American man she had spotted so long ago on the day of her own initiation. He looked the same as before. His wild curls hanging loosely against his forehead and his lazy smile resting upon his face. He still looked like a chiseled Admiral plucked out from a Muggle army.

She wondered who the strange man was. She had never come across him in her previous life.

Perhaps he hadn't made it past the first war.

Hermione and Narcissa bowed swiftly, murmuring in reverance, 'My Lord.'

Voldemort sneered at the two, motioning for them to step away.

Hermione could see the older woman's lips set in a thin line, clearly intent on shielding her mind against the monster.

'Every path remains blocked,' Voldemort mumbled to himself. 'Infuriating. Worthless.'

Suddenly the doors to the chambers sprung apart as Bellatrix marched inside with her head held high, her vexing smirk in place as her hooded eyes sought out her master.

Hermione felt an icy chill as she saw Reggie walk in close behind. His face was the perfect picture of calm but she could see the raging storm inside his grey eyes. His steps were small and calculated. He'd known the people in this room for years and yet he'd never truly been considered an equal.

Bellatrix threw herself at Voldemort's feet. He growled and pushed her away, 'Enough of that, Bella. Let's get on with this.'

Bellatrix looked slightly hurt. She curtsied and said, 'My Lord, my cousin Regulus Black. He's ready to finally join us tonight. He will bring us great..'

Voldemort waved a hand, wandlessly silencing the woman and casting a _Cruciatus_ on her. She fell to the floor writhing, her screams muffled.

Rodolphus tensed.

Voldemort seemed truly furious at the turn of the events from earlier that evening. 'Let the boy speak for himself. He has a tongue on him, doesn't he? You insolent woman. _Crucio_!'

Hermione saw the Admiral's lips twitch in amusement. She bristled at seeing the jubilant glee in his amber eyes at seeing Bellatrix being unceremoniously tortured. She may be one vile woman but another's pain brought Hermione no happiness.

Voldemort's eyes flashed as he stepped closer to Reggie. His fingers trailed the boy's face as he mumbled, 'Say now, Regulus, your brother has brought such shame upon your family.'

'He's no brother of mine, My Lord,' Reggie said coldly. 'A true Black is never a traitor.'

Hermione's brows shot up into her forehead. Reggie knew the game well. Walburga had certainly been handing out fine lessons to him.

'Ah, when the final battle arrives, my boy, you shall be granted the opportunity to end his sickly existence.'

'My Lord is most generous,' he said, his eyes downcast.

'Tell me, what is it you wish to achieve by joining my ranks?'

Reggie dropped onto his knees, his eyes never wavering from the rug below, 'I wish to achieve nothing but lay down my life in service to the greatest wizard in the history of mankind. My honour demands it.'

Voldemort smirked, 'Very well, very well. Your courage is most commendable. But do you have enough guts to tide you over the intricacies of the nature of your work with my men?'

Reggie nodded tightly, 'This servant shall do whatever is asked of him, My Lord. You shall not regret your faith in me.'

Voldemort rested his fingers against his chin, 'Lucius. Bring our lovely guest to me.'

Lucius murmured, 'Whatever you desire, My Lord.' He hurried down the steps leading to the dungeons, coming back up with a woman being levitated into the air. Her body looked battered with all her clothes torn away and her hair falling in lumps. Her limbs were plastered with blood as her mouth formed incoherent words but there was never a sound escaping them. Hermione could almost see the vestiges of her ribs poking out her chest. She was so unnaturally thin. Starved.

Releasing the woman of the full body bind curse on her, Voldemort summoned a gratifying dish of roast potatoes, dropping it in front of the her.

The woman's eyes brimmed with tears as the aroma reached her nostrils. Sniffing, she hesitated.

Voldemort cooed, 'Oh, please go on, my darling. You've been such a complacent, docile little pet. This is your reward.'

That was all it took for the woman to pounce. She lay down on all fours,licking away every little bit of the potatoes. The room was filled with her cries and moans.

Before she could have even savoured the first of her bites, Voldemort emitted a cold, ruthless laugh, sending away the cutlery smashing onto the walls, the curries dripping down into the carpeted floor.

The woman whimpered as she crawled over to the first bit of food she could spot on the rug. She licked away every last remnant before moving forward.

Hermione felt bile rise up her throat. She could see how Narcissa was pointedly ignoring everything around her. Rab held onto his resilience as Rodolphus and Lucius laughed bitterly at the woman. Bellatrix had somehow regained enough of her bearings to prop herself on her feet, her eyes lit up with mirth.

Reggie merely stood unmoving seeing the utter desperation in the tortured woman's eyes. He couldn't drag his gaze away from her wraith like gait, his heart tearing open. Hearing about the atrocities of the Dark Lord had been one thing but witnessing him in the act was another.

He gulped audibly.

Voldemort circled the young boy, regarding him, 'I shall be your Lord and Master. Your life belongs to me. Your mind is mine to bend. Do you accept?'

'Yes, My Lord,' he gritted out.

'Very pleasing.' He sneered at the hapless woman still wheezing. 'As a little.. ah, test, you might call it, I'd like you to take care of this filthy,' he pointed at the prisoner, 'pest.'

Reggie found no words. He merely looked on as the woman pushed herself forward, the tantalising sight of the food calling her further.

Voldemort began losing his patience. He snarled, 'Quick now, boy, or have you no spine?'

Hermione had to intervene.

She barked out, 'Come, Regulus, surely this isn't a big deal. Her screeches are rather pathetic and hurting my ears. Finish her. She's dead already. I don't want to muddy my hands with the muggle's blood right before I leave for dinner.'

Voldemort chuckled darkly, holding Hermione's chin tenderly, 'The fesity little snake. Your fire never fails to amuse me, love.'

Reggie looked at Hermione. She nodded saldy, the gesture almost imperceptible. She begged him to understand with her eyes.

_She dies tonight either at your hand or his. She's dead already. She's dead already. She's dead already._

Rodolphus had had enough. He cursed and kicked the woman in her gut, twisting his hands in her hair and dragging her in front of Reggie. He kicked her again for good measure, tilting her head upwards as she screamed in pain.

He tugged harshly on her hair, 'Quiet, you bitch!' He stared down at Reggie, 'Do it, kid. Do it and enter our ranks. The sweet taste of glory awaits you.'

Reggie forced down the feelings of ravaging guilt as he raised his wand, his fingers clammy. He looked into the woman's eyes, pleading with his.

'Please.. please, let me go.. I didn't do anything.. I swear.. please, just let me go.. please, son.. please..'

_Son_.

Hermione sidled up next to him, whispering in his ear, 'Do it. She's dead already.'

Voldemort growled, 'My patience runs thin tonight, Regulus.'

'No, please.. I didn't do anything.. I'll, I'll run away.. never look back.. leave the country.. I will never tell anyone .. about magic.. please.. just let me go.. please, son.. I did nothing.. please..'

_Son_.

Reggie braced himself. Steeling his nerves and closing his eyes shut, he whispered, the most pathetic and broken cry for help, ' _Avada Kedavra_!'

The woman's body dropped into a weightless heap, her eyes still burning a hole into his face, now drained of all colour.

_Murderer. Monster. Maniac._

What family did he want to save? The one who had turned away their own son? What family was it he had wanted to keep safe?

He had just killed a helpless woman. The first of many. What had he done? Oh, dear Merlin, what had he done?

Voldemort grinned in victory, 'Excellent. Most excellent. Come closer,' he beckoned.

Reggie's feet moved of their own accord, a mechanical threat pulling him forward. He bent down on one knee, his head dipping in shame and not servitude. He presented his arm to him.

Voldemort cackled in glee as he brought down the tip of his wand on his creamy skin, relishing in the pain he could see pulse in his flexing muscles despite no sound ever leaving his mouth.

Voldemort blasted away the woman's body, splintering it into pieces before walking out the room, Rodolphus and Lucius hot on his heels.

Hermione saw Narcissa release the breath she had been holding. She saw her struggle against herself and make her way towards her cousin. But before she could even reach him Bellatrix had already pulled him to his feet, dragging him away outside towards the gate, undoubtedly leading him back to Grimmauld Place to celebrate the birth of another Death Eater.

Hermione saw nothing.

She didn't see the Admiral's eyes drop in disappointment or Rab's disheveled face. She ran out into the gardens, her disgruntled feet dragging her outside and onto the cobblestone.

'Ah, my cousin, my handsome cousin! Auntie Walburga shall be so pleased! She will be overcome with joy! You have restored the name of our Noble House, cousin Regulus!'

Hermione suddenly felt white hot rage boil her blood. She stunned the woman, blasting her away.

Reggie turned around, startled, his own wand pointing at her, stark terror in his eyes. Hermione threaded her fingers with his and Apparated him away to the first place that came to her mind.

Reggie let go of her hold on him and recthed into the bushes. Hermione thanked the stars for the summer breeze. The Forest of Dean would have frozen them to their cores had it been mid winter.

She rubbed soothing circles on his back as he emptied the contents of his stomach, soft wheezing sounds squandering the eerie silence.

She could see the trails left behind by the tears running down his cheeks as he whimpered, 'I failed you.. you kept telling me. You kept telling me I was wrong.. what have I done, Mi? I killed her. I killed her in cold blood. Son.. she kept calling me son.. her kids will .. her kids will never see their mother again because,' he yelled, ' _I KILLED HER!'_

Hermione mumbled, 'It's done now, Reggie's. It's done. He would have killed her no matter what. It doesn't sound any good but you probably did her a favour by granting she a swift death. He wouldn't have stopped. He would have played with her for a long time before he'd relent.'

'I made the wrong choice.. so foolish.. so stupid.. Sirius.. Sirius was right.. how will I ever face him, Mi? Oh, god, what have I done.. what have I done? I never even thought.. plunged right into it.. never even spared it a thought..'

Hermione pulled him into her embrace, 'Self professed regret will not help you, Reggie. You have sinned. Seek redemption. Seek forgiveness. Fight the war but on the right side.' She took the risk, 'Help me bring him down.'

He pulled back from her as if shocked, 'What? Are you crazy? He will know.'

She shook her head adamantly, 'Reggie, help me.. your heart will never be in it. You will never truly submit yourself to him. Not even a day and you're overcome with remorse. Help me.'

He looked at her quizzically, tiny slivers of hope sparking their way through him, 'What do you mean?'

Hermione nodded her head resolutely, 'Will you agree to bind yourself to me? Will you help me bring him down for once and for all?'

His brows shot up in his hair, 'Hermione! Are you out of your mind? Do you know how dangerous it could be?'

'Reggie, I'm already doing it. Are you with me or not? But be very sure. If you say yes to me tonight there won't be a chance for you to back out. I will use something far more anicent and stronger than a simple Oath to bind you to myself.'

Reggie gulped, a mixture of fear and determination flooding him. 'I will .. I will help you.'

'It will involve various life threatening tasks. You will have to very carefully mask your actions while in battle so as to fool the other Death Eaters into thinking you're causing havoc when you're actually trying to help. You will be putting yourself under a direct radar of danger.'

'I will do whatever you ask of me as long as it helps restore the goodness in the world but only.. only if my family remains safe.'

'Your initiation with the Death Eaters will ensure that.'

'But, Mi, he's the most powerful Legilimens there is. How do you expect me to keep him away? How have you been hiding yourself?'

'I have managed to trick him so far. Years and years of practice. But you're correct into thinking I won't blindly put my faith in luck to tide us over. I have access to knowledge from very old texts. I will perform a short ritual for you to swear your allegiance to me. It will help protect our bond and our secrecy. Betrayal on either of our side will result in death, do you understand?'

He nodded, conviction in his eyes.

Hermione waved her wand, drawing a circle around themselves. She flicked her wrist to cause a shimmering golden light emit from the tip of her wand. The thin thread bound Reggie to her magic core.

She chanted under her breath, ' _Mihi pignus fidei vinculum erit. Juret mihi anima corpori. Promitto tibi certa fides. Cedere vestra fiducia mihi. Mecum ubique vado. Da mihi fidem servans._ '

As the thread enveloped the two, the light glowed brightly, binding them under its halo. It swivelled away as it reached the boundary of the circle they sat in, ebbing away entirely as Hermione opened her eyes.

Reggie squeaked, 'Why.. why does it feel like I'm.. connected to you?'

'Because you are,' she replied, cryptically. 'You will come to my rescue whenever I call for it through this connection. I will remain in conscious control of it. Don't worry. I will never misuse it.'

'This will shelter my mind, you say?'

'Undoubtedly.'

Reggie let go of her hand, wiping away the remaining tears in his eyes as he stood up, offering her his help in getting up.

He had to admire her for her stubborn heart. Sacrificing herself for a world that currently hated her very being.

'Why.. why join in the first place at all?', he asked.

'We do terrifying things for love,' she answered.'There may not be a tomorrow for us, Reggie,' she warned.

He looked away, defeated, 'I'm certain we dont deserve it.'


	51. Chapter 51

** _DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

The morning of September first found Harry trudging up his way to the headquarters for the Resistance. The soft chill of dawn settled around him as he entered the kitchen, the walls a dark shade of grey.

Around the table sat three of Harry's most trusted comrades, deep into a hushed conversation as they bit into their breakfast.

Nikolina's golden hair shimmered in the dim light as she winked at Harry.

Harry looked away promptly, still not used to her advances and the way she continuously managed to ruffle his feathers. He directed his gaze at the red haired man, 'How was the mission last night?'

Gustav huffed, 'How would I know? I was busy staying up the entire night stacking papers for you while these two,' he pointed at the snickering pair, 'got to have all the fun. Like _always_.'

Elian smacked the redhead lightly before he answersd, 'It went as well as it could. Nobody was alerted of our presence. We managed to get a read on him but that's all. He's quite the silent sort of a man.'

Gustav took a deep breath and got up on his feet, pouring some tea in a cup for Harry. He fished out some parchment and began, 'Thorfin Rowle. Officially active since 1974. A skilled duellist with a proficiency at fiendfyre and any other curse involving the use of fire. He also happens to be a great tactician, reportedly You-know-who's go-to man when it comes to planning attacks. Also known as his Spider. He has contacts spread throughout the Ministry with enough support. If You-know-who needs secrets Rowle is the one to gather them for him.'

Nikolina snorted, 'For Merlin's sake, Gustav, grow a bone and say the bastard's name. He's not going to eat you.'

Elian chuckled, 'Even if he did he'd spit him right out. I don't think even a snake would fancy having a taste of this idiot.'

Gustav blushed piteously red, 'I will have you know I taste quite extraordinarily..'

'Enough,' Harry muttered. 'I work with a band of baboons.'

His fingers flexed over the lionhead of his cane. He remembered the blond man well. Rowle had set ablaze Hagrid's hut back in Harry's sixth year nearly killing Fang in the process. Rowle had then managed to track down the trio along with Dolohov the night they had run away from Bill and Fleur's wedding.

'Current location?', He asked. 'Any known hideouts? Possible pressure points?'

'He's from an influential family,' Elian answered, unfazed. 'He's likely to be holed up in his manor, I'm sure. Outskirts of a city in Wales. One of his ancestors was the Minister a long time ago. Somewhere in the early eighteenth century, I believe. He will be difficult to lure out. He isn't courting anyone. His family is gone. He's the last surviving member of his House.'

'He isn't a foolish man,' Nikolina shook her head. 'He knows the Death Eaters command the government and the markets but he's also aware of the rebellious groups.'

Harry's brows furrowed in concentration, 'Target Gibbon. The two are always tagging along.'

Elian tapped his fingers against his beard, 'Well, I believe it could be easier that way. Gibbon doesn't exactly come from a lot of money. Not exceptionally powerful either. We could take them both out at once.'

Harry nodded tightly, 'I want frequent updates. I want Rowle gone by the end of the year. He's proving to be too much of a hindrance.'

'Narrowing him down is going to be one hell of a task.'

'One you can take up on.'

Gustav cleared his throat, uncomfortably, 'Er, is that all? I'm rather sleepy. I have my Missus waiting on me.'

Harry sighed exasperatedly at his friend, 'I also want surveillance on Fabian and Gideon Prewett. And nobody should know about this other than you three, you understand?'

Nikolina frowned, moving to sit closer to Harry, 'Why? They're distinguished Order members. Do we suspect them?'

Elian patted Nikolina's arm fondly. 'Don't question the boss, Nina,' he winked, his baritone voice soft, 'It's his sixth sense coming out to play again.'

Harry tuned them out, his mind painfully aware of the months to come. If Time didn't mess up the Prewett twins would die shortly. He wondered how things would change now that Dolohov was dead. Hermione had seen to it. But then there had been four other Death Eaters on the night the two had valiantly gone down. 'I have reason to believe they're being threatened,' he provided vaguely. 'Consider it protection.'

Elian mumbled, 'I don't understand. We don't directly interfere with the Order.'

'This is not about the Order. This is about two good men who are at the risk of losing their lives,' Harry explained. 'Also, Elian, Nikolina, I want you to meet with Dumbledore soon. I'm arranging for you to attend some of the Order's meetings. One of their representatives might begin attending ours. However, I want our tracking work to be kept secret at all costs. Dumbledore may have agreed upon combining our efforts against Voldemort but he remains as intent as ever on garnering a defensive stance.'

Nikolina smirked, 'As gullibly good as ever.'

Harry looked at her sharply, not comfortable at his mentor being mocked despite his own agreement with the woman's words, 'Don't fault him. He has his reasons, I'm certain.'

Gustav cried out, 'You never send me out for all these super important missions.'

Harry chuckled goodheartedly, 'Quit complaining, Gus. You wouldn't last a day away from your wife. Be grateful or I'll be sending you out on a year long undercover job.'

Gustav spluttered for a comeback, silently fuming in his seat.

'We will keep a lookout for any possible spies. We shouldn't be ruling out any possibilities at this point. Nobody's loyalty can be accounted for,' Elian remarked.

Harry nodded, 'Wisely noted. That's all for now. I'll be seeing you tomorrow evening regarding Rowle. I will go collect some intel of my own till then.'

'Take care, boss. Voldemort's cronies are growing restless with all these thwarted efforts. They're quite alarmed.'

'That's not the biggest of my worries at present, Elian. My main concern right now is the safety of the Prewett brothers. They should not come to any harm, alright?'

The three gave their ascent before Harry spun on his heel and landed onto a familiar platform at King's Cross. He strained his eye to seek out Hermione or Rab. Walking around he felt feelings of nostalgia shoot up his mind.

The familiar sight of the Hogwarts Express was enough to send him down the memory lane.

He could almost picture himself in one of the coaches sat beside Ron and Hermione. He could imagine the Weasley twins wrecking havoc somewhere as Percy glared at them and Ginny did nothing but cheer them on.

He looked wistfully at all the excited children around him, still away from the true horrors of the world. Unbeknownst to him a smile broke out on his face at feeling the positively electric thrum of such happiness in the air.

Harry's own thrill at the prospect of Hogwarts had always been marred by the constant threat on his life. He wished he, too, could have had a normal childhood but he knew his childhood was just another casualty in the grand scheme of things.

_Life had already taken care of that_ , he thought to himself.

He walked around listlessly, keeping an eye out for the Lestrange siblings. His feet took him along a well worn path.

He had only just begun to lean against one of the pillars when he felt someone barrel into him, knocking him off balance. He fell down onto the ground, a blur of red and a feather light weight against his chest. His hands searched around for his glasses, his fingers fumbling around helplessly.

He used the support of his cane to get up and extended an arm out to the person he assumed had run into him. With his vision still blurred he couldn't make out anything except the flame red curls in front of him.

'I am so sorry.. I didn't mean to, sir..,' he heard the girl say. There was an abrupt pause. And then. 'Wait, James! No, not sorry at all. You deserved it.'

Harry chuckled, 'Not James, let me assure you.'

His vision still hazy, he couldn't make out the girl before him but he felt her place his glasses onto the bridge of his nose and tap them lightly, ' _Occulus reparo!'_

Shaking his head he rubbed at his eyes. He blinked. And blinked again. He willed himself to turn away and save himself the pain but how could he make himself walk away from the one thing he had never stopped to wish for?

His breath caught as he took in the sight of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. A pressure built behind his eyes as he looked back into a familiar shade of green.

Lily Potter.

No, Lily Evans, he corrected.

There stood his mother. Her green eyes twinkling and a tad bit confused and bashful. Her lips turned into the most gorgeous smile and her cheeks a rosy shade of pink.

'I, er.. I thought you were someone else. you look uncannily similar to a friend of mine. Are you by chance related to James Potter?'

Harry felt himself tear up. His mother had the voice of an angel. Almost like the heavens were tinkering with holy bells as she spoke.

Lily prodded, 'Sir?'

Harry shook his head, fumbling with his words, 'Uh, no.. no. I'm not related to him, I'm sorry.'

Lily smiled apologetically, 'I really do feel horrible. I wasn't looking where I was going.'

'No harm done,' Harry mumbled, still reeling. He touched his glasses, 'You've righted the wrong already.'

Lily grinned and said, 'Are you waiting for someone? Perhaps I could..'

'Lily! There you are!'

Harry turned around to see a short, black haired girl step up behind his mother.

Alice.

The corners of his lips drooped down at the enthusiasm in her eyes. She was a far cry from the woman he had seen at St Mungo's and definitely worlds apart from the broken woman who had somehow realised, even in her hazy state of mind, that it was her dead son who was being paraded around the streets like a trophy.

Alice smiled brightly at him, quickly recovering from the initial shock of seeing someone look so much like her friend, 'Oh, hullo. I saw Lily very uncharacteristically run into you and wondered if I could somehow help.'

Lily frowned, 'I didn't even ask. Are you alright, Mr..?'

Harry's bottom lip almost quivered with the effort. How many people had to introduce themselves to their own mother? 'You can call me Harry.. just that.. just .. Harry.'

Lily's kind voice said, 'You look a little out of sorts, Harry. Do you want to sit down, maybe? Catch your breath?'

Harry shook his head, 'Oh, no I'm fine, really.'

Alice chimed in, 'It was a pleasure meeting you, Harry but we must be leaving now.'

Sure enough the engine croaked out the departing signal.

Lily shrugged her shoulders sadly, 'Until the next time, then, Harry.'

Harry nodded absently, still lost in the warmth his mother had just brought to him.

He watched her follow Alice into one of the compartments and disappear from sight.

With lead in his feet, he began his trip back home. As the number of the waving parents thinned out, he saw four boys clamouring up the steps to the train that had already begun rolling away from the station.

Another pang of nostalgia hit him as he watched his father and his best mates laughing as they jumped up the moving train.

'Ah, there you are,' Rab exclaimed, clapping down a hand against his back. 'You just missed her. We were waiting for you but then she had to leave. Of course though you can meet her when.. Harry, mate, what's wrong?'

Rab frowned at his still form and the unshed tears in his eyes. He followed his gaze to the group of four boys now hanging out the door, big grins split across their faces, as the Hogwarts Express echoed into the skies.

Harry hoped against hope for a miracle.. anything that would allow him to chase after the train and find himself sitting across his family only so he could watch the warm flush in his mother's cheeks and the mischievous glint in his father's eyes as Sirius goaded him into another prank and Remus scolded them with no bite in his voice.

Was it too much to ask for? He didn't want much.

Just his family.

Just someone to call his own.

Rab pulled him away lightly, his words consoling, 'Let the promise of home make you brave, Harry. You will be reunited with them one day and they will be so proud of the man you've become.'

Harry smiled sadly at him. He spared one last glance at the tiny speck that was now the train, ushering hundreds of kids back to their safe haven.

Back to Harry's safe haven.

'Until the next time,' he mumbled.

 


	52. Chapter 52

 

** _DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Saudade.

An absence of a loved one.

Hermione remembered how as a child she had taken to reading the dictionary for no reason other than to seek pleasure. Her classmates had laughed but her mother had tussled Hermione's hair and graciously provided her with the intricate knowledge of words.

Saudade was one beautiful little combination of letters that the Portuguese had come up with. A word the English language hadn't yet been able to fully grasp.

Saudade.

A nostalgic remembrance of someone that was no more.

Hermione couldn't tell who she felt nostalgic for. There were, of course, the dead. She would never truly be separate from them. They were a part of her, forever her essence.

But then there were those in her direct sight. Always around her. Always so close. And yet so frustratingly far away.

And she couldn't touch them. Couldn't reach out to them. Couldn't have them hold her. They were as gone as those she'd had to leave behind in her past.

Her eyes followed the graceful twirls of the green eyed redhead, clinging onto the arm of the messy haired Marauder. She could almost see another fiercely loyal young lady in the arms of another raven haired man. She smiled to herself at the irony of life.

How alike Harry truly was to his father.

Hermione revelled in the warmth that pooled at the base of her gut at seeing the future Potters finally togethe as one. As they were meant to be.

She gathered her cloak a little tighter around herself, the cold Christmas winds nipping at her cheeks, her muffled steps not far behind the Marauders and Lily walking arm in arm, talking away the morning in hushed tones as Hogsmeade loomed nearer and nearer.

As she saw them step into the Three Broomsticks, she felt on the outside looking in. A stranger. A traitor.

She saw through the window as Sirius waltzed around, wooing and dazzling Madame Rosemerta. She saw as Peter found his way to a rosy cheeked Dorcas sitting in the corner with her friends. She saw James drop a sweet lover's kiss on Lily's head. She saw as Remus looked on longingly at his friends, a certain unsettled emotion swirling on his face.

Losing her newfound family had torn Hermione's heart asunder. A pain that had felt like thousands of needles poking into her. She had been so afraid of never being able to find another soul she could grow to care for, not after the terrified life she had led where she had lost everyone that mattered. But this little group of misfits had somehow won her over. And she had lost them too. And worst of all, it was of her own making.

The sun lay hidden behind the cover of clouds as Hermione pulled herself away, her feet padding against the snow laden cobblestone, leading her to the old and dilapidated pub.

She entered the dingy place. The Hog's Head, as ever, was scarcely lit, its few customers mulling over goblets of mead and whiskey. Hermione propped herself on one of the stools against the barhead and ordered herself the forever loyal drink of forgetfulness.

'You drink an awful lot for a lady,' Reggie commented dryly from her side.

'When you've seen as much of the world as I have,' Hermione replied, 'you'll understand why.'

Reggie rolled his eyes, 'You've only been with him a year longer than I have.'

Hermione chuckled humourlessly. 'Your cousin is planning something for you. Or so I have heard. Rab keeps telling me of her pride over you.'

He sighed, 'Well, at least I can be certain my holidays will be fun.'

She nudged his shoulder lightly, grazing the tips of her fingers against his frigid hand, 'All in good time, Reggie. Have faith.'

'I am ruination, Mi.' He whispered, 'I was so foolishly naive.'

Hermione frowned, 'No, you weren't. You were innocently naive. There's a difference. You just didn't know any better. There was nobody to show you the right way.'

'There was Sirius,' he said, disappointment lacing his voice. ' _You_ were there too.'

'It's all in the past now,' she placated. 'We have to live with our choices no matter how terrible. Accept them. Accept your weaknesses and wear them like armor.'

Reggie looked at her through furrowed brows. 'You know my mother would say it was predestined. Such _honour_ ,' he spat, 'was meant to find its way to our House.'

Hermione laughed, 'It will make you feel better to know that I happen to have the tendency to defy the written word and change the course of time.' Her eyes still twinkling with merriment, she got up and patted his head fondly. 'Someday, Reggie, this will all feel like a dream.'

'Someday,' he snorted. 'Just a fancy way of saying never.'

Hermione smiled sadly and left. Her own thoughts were too morbid to attend to that morning. She couldn't quite help out others when she felt particularly self destructive.

Once again under the expanse of the sky, Hermione felt herself shiver in the cold as tiny snowflakes paraded onto her shoulders. Wrapping her arms around herself, she trudged along the vacant street. It seemed no student was gutsy enough to brave the harsh weather this day.

Her feet led her along a path barely travelled, sparkling and crunching with the earthy loam of the thinned out woods. She traversed her steps to the outskirts of the village, the Shrieking Shack growing closer with every fervoured breath. The one place still frozen in time. It looked just the same as it did when she'd first seen Ron try to scare her.

A moment of solace might perhaps lift her spirits.

The silence seeped into her bones, the woods as still as a corpse. Her fingers once again twitched around the tiny knight in her palm.

She almost slipped, skidding to a stop by the railing of the Shack.

'Admiring the view or wondering about the ghost?,' she heard a familiar voice call out sadly from somewhere to her right.

She gasped, her eyes roving over the scarred face. She smiled, hesitant, 'You frightened me, Remus.'

The corners of his lips drooped, 'I frighten a lot many people.'

'No,' she shook her head vehemently. ' _Moony_ frightens people. Not you.'

Remus shrugged his shoulders, looking upward to the grey skies, the frozen air delicate on his arms.

'You should run away now,' Hermione said, suddenly reminded of the painful limits that bounded her.

'Hermione,' he murmured, soft as a dove, 'you don't have to pretend. Not with me.'

Hermione bit her lip, careening her neck the other way.

He flicked his wrist, casting a quick Muffliato. Quite an unnecessary burden given the aching solitude surrounding them. 'You spend an awful lot of time with Dumbledore for a Death Eater.'

She chuckled, 'The Map!' She cursed under her breath, 'Never try to fool a Marauder.'

'You're fooling the other three just fine,' he said, bitter and fatigued, his eyes focused onto the gravel. 'I know you're his spy. He's asked me to be one too. When I graduate, I mean.'

Hermione shut her eyes, 'Oh, Remus. Please tell me you didn't accept.'

'I would be helping,' he said, not entirely certain himself. 'Relaying all of Greyback's secrets to the Order. I'm no fan of putting my life on the line but.. we do what we do to win the war.'

The snowstorm grew thunderous. The wind was howling now.

Hermione cocked her brow, her words slow and certain. 'You know, if you're wrong about me being a spy you'd be compromising your position before you'd even begun.'

'I know I'm not wrong. I trust you.'

Hermione laughed bitterly, just a little enraged at his naiveté. 'That's a heavy price you're willing to pay.'

Remus looked at her. 'You can't lie to me. Especially not so close to the full moon. I can sniff you out,' he snickered.

Hermione's eyes remained downcast. She felt Remus timidly wrap an arm around her, almost scared she'd break under his grip.

'Do they know?,' she asked, broken. 'Does _he_ know?'

'I didn't think it was my place to tell. I reckoned you must have a pretty solid reason to hide.' He paused. 'I know you're upset. We were so quick to believe. All these years and..'

'Please,' she snorted, 'the Mark on my arm is enough to make anyone believe. I don't blame them. Not really.'

Remus nodded tightly. 'Prejudice doesn't run strong only among Slytherins. The boys can't look beyond the Mark on your arm. They don't know anything about real life. They're still so..sheltered. James is beginning to crack since his parents died but Sirius has been at the forefront since the beginning and it's easy for him to protect himself by virtue of his feigned ignorance.

'He's been raised by a family of luanitcs, Mi. His entire life he's seen purebloods bigoted in their ways but you were different. James was different. You two showed him how the world could be better. And when he saw you.. it shattered his concept of reality.'

Hermione felt tears prick her eyes.

Remus backtracked, wiping them away and looking at her sternly. 'No, Mi. I'm not blaming you. Merlin knows you're more of a Gryffindor than all of us put together. What I'm saying is that he will figure it out in the end. He will, I know it. He's blind now but not forever.'

'I know that with the way he's been raised it wouldn't be difficult for him to pounce on the fact I'm one of the Death Eaters too. It's something to be expected, to be honest.'

Remus nodded, 'I'm not trying to absolve him but he still has a long way to go, Mi. And he does doubt the picture you've painted for him. His feelings for you are as strong as ever.' He grinned tiredly, 'He's just a wounded dog.'

Hermione leaned into his side, 'Why are you out here in the cold, Remus? All alone?'

Remus' brows threaded together, 'Just contemplating.'

He tried to hide his worries but Hermione knew better. She remembered Professor Lupin and his little mannerisms. She remembered how he chose to furrow it all in, all his pain.

She hugged him lightly, 'Hey? Tell me.'

He put all his efforts into laughing it off, 'It's nothing, Mi. Don't worry. Besides,' he wagged his brows playfully, 'my werewolf skin is resistant to the cold.'

Hermione sighed. 'You're scared it'll be this easy for them to kick you out too.'

His face crumpled at the admission. 'Yes,' he croaked out. 'When I'll roam around with the pack I don't know what I'll be forced to do. There's no telling what sort of monster I'll become.'

'You can still say no.'

'It needs to be done,' he stressed.

'Not at the cost of your sanity,' she mumbled.

'I can do this,' he whispered. 'I can. And it's not like I'll be completely isolated. I'll be allowed to attend Order meetings. Dumbledore said so himself.'

She hugged his side birefly, rubbing a comforting hand against his arm, looking into his soft eyes.

Saudade.

The love that remains. An unfinished fate.

_Because somethings cannot be left behind._


	53. Chapter 53

** _DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Rab's ears rang of the blood curdling scream.

'You filthy swine!' Bellatrix yelled, 'You know what I'm going to do to you next? Yes, you little mudblood?'

The petite woman whimpered as she fell to the floor, her clothes torn and shredded. Yaxley howled with laughter as he saw her push herself away from his feet, trembling. Her back pressed against the cream walls, the linen curtains decked in red and green.

_Silent night, holy night._

'You disgusting wench!' Bellatrix struck the woman across her face. 'Diluting the purelines with Muggle filth. I will pluck off each of your nails one by one and feed them to my dog and then, my darling, I will break your flimsy little bones. Every last one of them. I will _crush_ them. After that, dear, I'm going to heal your pansy little arse and,' she smirked, ' I will break your limbs all over again.'

Rab pressed his lips together, his fingers itching to wrap around his wand and strike the dark haired bitch of his sister in law down.

'You're going to scream and scream. Oh, how thoroughly I shall enjoy myself,' Yaxley sneered. 'You will beg me for mercy, little one.' He kicked her side, sending her frail body flying across the room, crashing into the majestic Christmas tree marked by holly and thyme.

_All is calm. All is bright._

Bellatrix loomed over the woman, her dark curls teasing her skin. She laughed and struck the woman. Rounding her foot, she stomped onto her chest.

'No!,' the woman begged, her arms wrapping around her broken ribs, a jarring edge poking out her bare chest.

Bellatrix shook her head. She prowled, prancing on the soles of her feet as she crushed the woman's fingers.

Another scream pierced through the air as Bellatrix stomped onto her lungs, the woman's throat pinned under her boot.

Yaxley spat into her face.

Rab saw Reggie flinch as Yaxley fingered his knife making the woman choke out a sob.

Yaxley bent down and clutched onto the blond locks of the woman, trailing the tip of his knife against her cheek. Her arms flailed around as she cried out in pain, her blood, as red as any other being in the room, trickling down.

'Maybe I ought to have a little more fun with you first,' Yaxley whispered in her ear. 'It's such a pity,' he turned towards Rab, 'that you won't take her. She's all warm and slick, Lestrange. A perfect docile little bitch.'

Rab tightened his jaw, his gut protesting at the viciousness spilling off of his lips, and sneered, 'I don't fancy muddying myself with Muggle filth such as herself.'

'She may be a pathetic excuse for a witch but not for a woman,' Yaxley snickered, tenderly brushing away her hair, revelling in the fear he spiked into her eyes.

_Round yon virgin. Mother and Child._

Bellatrix flicked her wrist, sending the woman crying out in pain as her body was laced with the ache of the _Cruciatus_.

Reggie gulped and looked away as Yaxley once again pushed himself onto her tiny body, holding down her arms as she begged for mercy, thrashing and jerking.

_Holy Infant so tender and mild._

Rab hadn't the slightest idea how he could shelter the child in their midst. He could feel the waves of grief rolling off of him. This was his first true assignment. To bear witness to the whims of a deranged beast as he brutally raped a helpless woman.

_Sleep in heavenly peace._

Yaxley ripped apart the shred of dignity she still had left and sliced deeper, each dig harsher than the last, eliciting howls so inhumans it made the hair on Reggie's neck stand up.

The woman's eyes fell upon Rab's, each pair of dark orbs as lifeless as the other's.

_Sleep in heavenly peace._

Detachment.

He could see it resonating in the brewing storm in her eyes.

Yaxley thrust into her, expecting a scream to lull his sadistic desires but it almost seemed like the fight had suddenly drained out of her being. Rab saw her limbs fall still, her mouth drawn into a line as her eyes shut close, her head rolling onto the side.

The silence was unnerving.

_Silent night. Holy night._

The radio kept cackling on as Bellatrix leaned against the doorframe, urging her cousin to assist in the carnage of this hopeless life.

Dissonance.

Her limp form lay motionless, her wounds still bleeding as Yaxley pounded into her, his fingers putting pressure against her windpipe. Her pulse slowed as she gasped for air.

_Silent night. Holy night._

Another beat of her heart. Another. And another. And another. And no more..

And no more.

He could see her no more. He could fight no more.

No more.

No more.

But the war.. his sister. Harry. They needed him. The war.. the war needed to be won.

No more.

Bellatrix patted Reggie's back, purring, his face drained of all colour and his eyes haunted. She Apparated him away.

No more.

Yaxley threw his head back, laughing, dizzied with his euphoria.

No more.

Rab spun on his feet, the familiar pull tugging at his seams.

No more.

The skies rumbled. His feet, laden with lead, carried him to the hearth and into the cottage. Hushed conversation followed in the parlour ahead.

'Everyone must play a role, Mi,' he heard Harry mumbled. 'War spares none.'

Hermione replied, 'We're doing more damage than helping the needy. It feels so pointless.. all this pain.'

No more.

Rab slid down, his knees giving out. His wand clattered away as the numbness in his heart clouded in on his cold and clammy fingers.

Onyx eyes and gold locks.

No more.

'Rab?,' he heard his sister call out in concern. His sister. Oh, his beautiful little girl.

'I never knew love had casualties.'

No more.

The strings holding onto the seams of his heart crumbled as a silent sob overtook his being.

No more.

Was is the stench of death that still lay around him or was it the Christmas scents enticing him into false safety?

No more.

He felt a soft palm rest against his cheek, wiping away the tears he hadn't realised had spilled. He looked up to find swirls of chocolate crunch up in worry.

'How easy it is to fall into the pools of darkness,' he whispered.

'Easiest thing in the world,' Harry remarked ruefully, his cane resting limp in his gloved hand.

Hermione reached out a hand to her brother, holding him steady. 'We feel the most real when we're suffering, Rab.'

'No more,' he croaked out. 'I feel something.. strangling me.. it's so overwhelming. It's.. holding me captive and I cant.. I can't.. no more, please.'

'Guilt has a funny way of making you feel insignificant,' Harry mumbled, nodding absently, his own mind conjuring up the many faces of friends he had led to the doors of Death.

'The unknown is no less cruel,' Hermione commented.

'The things they make me see,' Rab felt the ice in veins. 'All the.. destruction. If I'd been human I'd never have been a part of this atrocity.'

'Humans are capable of a lot more. You are fortunate in your ignorance,' Hermione muttered as she climbed into his lap, threading her fingers with hers and leaning her head into his chest. 'You can't breathe free before the war is won. You can't save everyone.'

Rab looked away, struck by the evil beast living underneath him. How cold and empty could he become? How much farther could he go?

'Some people are born to fight. They're no different than the others but they're picked by the Universe. They're tested for their mettle. _You_ were born to fight, brother.'

He smiled sadly, his hope for a better world now dashed and divided, 'How do you do it?'

Hermione looked at Harry, her eyes begging.

Harry sighed, grim and morose, his true age showing, 'You accept the ghost of the person you used to be.'

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Longer chapters begin again soon. Just need to get past the seventh year and the full fledged war will begin.
> 
> I may not be able to update for a week or so, though. I'm going for a roadtrip with my family to some really remote areas. I won't have reception over there but I'm going to try and dish out another chapter before I leave tomorrow.


	54. Chapter 54

_DISCLAIMER_ _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Time passed by for Hermione like every other fickle minded thing did. She hadn't been able to finish her seventh year in her original timeline but now that her knowledge-greedy mind had been awarded with the opportunity it almost felt like a wasted breath. She had no heart to pursue an education which had ironically been the only thing her world revolved around in her previous life.

The dreariness of the winter passed as months blended into each other with the blur of black robes, masks and spilled blood.

Now that April was ready to wane into the month of blithering June Hermione wasn't struck with a restlessness that came with her NEWTs. No. Unlike her classmates she had long ago forgone such insignificant matters.

Her restlessness had more to do with another scar that was to appear soon enough. Over the course of the year she had once again perfected impenetrable glamours over her skin. If someone ever removed them and chanced upon her face or possibly Harry's they would never understand what had come knocking at their doors to leave such harrowing scars. Her involvement in the current war was no less easy but was definitely not this scarring.

Every day she couldn't help but think of what she'd been doing when she'd truly been seventeen as opposed to this trickery against nature. Her mind kelt replaying the hourn of desolete loneliness spent under a tent in places she couldn't name.

She knew with the scar that would now rest against her forearm, her body would plunge into the aftereffects of the Cruciatus. She was glad she had exams to deal with. They would keep her away from Voldemort's watchful eye during the most critical month she would face in terms of her trembling body.

She had been quietly eating her breakfast beside the younger Black when she first noticed it. Her body shook with the effort of keeping still. She could feel the builiding convulsions as she leapt onto her feet and ran towards the only haven she could think of.

The Room of Requirement.

As she plopped down into the armchair she had often taken while at the Burrow, she felt silent tears trail down her cheeks.

Mudblood.

She gasped at her raw skin. She'd spent years with this.. disfigurement but nothing could have prepared her for the emotions thay resurfaced with the appearance of the word.

She trailed her fingers softly over the angry marks, the memory of hooded eyes boring into her pain that had felt unsurmountable. As the war went on Hermione had faced worse but that night when she'd been tortured by Bellatrix still remained as a hollow ache in her gut. She could never be prevailed upon to forget the very embodiment of _Fear_ leering at her, ready to kill.

She shuddered instinctively.

Ron had screamed himself hoarse that night, she remembered.

What world was it that she was trying so hard to save? It would never accept her. She would never belong. She was carved with the disgrace she would always be. It looked so bright she almost relived the horror of that night when it had felt like fire was plucking away at her skin, devouring her whole.

She desperately pushed away her tears. The word had been acid to her ears. She'd loathed the feelings that came with being called a mudblood. It had taken her four years to accept that being one didn't mean you weren't human and deserving of respect and all that had been wiped away when she'd had the curse etched onto her body.

She sighed and strengthened the glamours over her body, casting a new one over her forearm. She pulled down her sleeve and got up on shaky feet. Her body still struggled to remain upright.

It would be a long, long month.

Graduation.

This was no graduation. This was a mere formality. Her feet were heavy, her forearm unconsciously tucked close to her being.

But there was nobody who noticed. Only Harry who stood farthest away from the overwhelmed students receiving hugs from their families amidst glitter and gold knew the reason behind her calculated steps.

Hermione walked over to his side, nodding reassuringly at him and interlacing her fingers with his, both of them thinking of what it might have felt like to truly have been a part of something that was meant to celebrate the beginning of the rest of your life.

Unburdened and free.

Harry mused, 'What do you suppose it would have been like for us?'

Hermione could almost picture herself sandwiched between her two best friends as the Weasleys celebrated at the Burrow, a huge buffet for dinner with piles of cakes and pastries.

She smiled wistfully, 'I don't know about anything else but I'm sure Fred and George would definitely have caused a ruckus to embarrass Ron. Maybe we'd have gone for a match at Quidditch in the backyard.'

'Even you, Mione?,' he snickered.

She rolled her eyes in response.

Harry breathed in deeply, 'Well, at least Ron will get to have his graduation.'

'Just not with us,' she mumbled.

'Not with us,' he repeated numbly. 'But, hey, maybe he'll be best friends with Neville.'

Hermione laughed softly, 'Or Merlin forbid he might be best friends with Draco.'

Harry looked at her, his gaze tender and a knowing look in his eyes. He cleared his throat, jerking himself out of his thoughts. 'Rab couldn't come,' he explained, shrugging his shoulders sadly.

'Another meeting?,' Hermione asked.

He nodded, his eyes lingering on a happier family a few yards away, standing close under the shade of the trees.

Hermione, too, felt longing envelope her. She could never have had this day with her true family but perhaps she could have been a part of this one's.

But sometimes the Universe just always fought against you.

She leaned her head against Harry's shoulder, his green eyes still glued to his beautiful redheaded mother wrapped in the warm embrace of his father, the love they shared palpable and almost tangible.

_Had they known?_

He rid himself of such gloom and pulled Hermione away from the crowd, humming under his breath as he led her deeper into the Forbidden Forest, hidden from prying eyes. Twigs broke under their feet as they trailed around silently.

The duo came to a halt underneath a weeping willow, a clearing they hadn't ever been to before.

'Is the potion helping?,' Harry asked her, concerned, sitting down on a fallen log, the sun sinking down beneath the clouds.

She grinned, 'Yes, now stop being such a mother hen. You make me write to you everyday. Honestly, Harry, I'm fine.'

'Well, I won't have to worry about that anymore since you're coming home for good now,' he mumbled. 'Gustav said it would help you. He was eager to try his hand at inventing something new.'

Hermione nodded, 'We can get the Cup now that I've graduated.'

'That will leave us only without the locket and the diary. Are you sure Regulus will let us know about the cave?'

Hermione looked at him gravely, 'I'm sure. You need to stop worrying so much.'

Harry whispered, once again tugging her away and towards the school grounds, 'I'm really glad you're here with me, Hermione. I would have been so lost without you.'

Hermione chuckled softly, 'You know I would follow you wherever you go.'

'I wouldn't trade you for the world, Mione,' he said. 'I hope you know that.'

'This isn't goodbye,' she frowned, nudging him lightly.

He laughed, 'I know but I just felt like you should know.' He sighed. 'I'll see you soon?'

'At King's Cross?'

'If it's safe,' he shrugged, giving her a gentle shove towards the castle, motioning at the thinning crowd.

Hermione waved at him as he Disapparated, leaving behind a faint pop.

Sighing, she turned around and trudged up the way towards the gates. She was greeted by the sallow faced Snape at the entrance to the Great Hall, a sullen look on his face.

He scowled, 'I've received the letter from Lestrange Corporation. I shall leave in a week's time.'

Hermione smirked. She could see he hated owing her. 'And? Is there something you'd like to say?'

'I am grateful for the opportunity you have provided me with,' he said grudgingly. 'I hope we never see each other again.'

'I am certain we won't,' she agreed. 'For what it's worth, you were a good friend while it lasted.'

Snape looked taken aback and slightly flushed. He mumbled, 'I suppose you were too.' He looked away and left.

She had only just fallen into a steady step when she heard someone call out her name.

She whipped around, startled by the familiar voice. She saw Peter, flanked by a reluctant Sirius on his side, walking purposefully towards her. Her brows furrowed in confusion.

Peter smiled timidly at her, 'Hey, how are you?'

Hermione felt apprehensive. Was it some kind of a cruel joke? 'I'm alright, thank you very much, Pettigrew. Might I ask why you're invading my personal space on an evening so fine?'

Peter visibly flinched at her indifference.

Sirius shook his head tiredly and muttered, 'I told you it wasn't any good. It's your own funeral, mate.' He spared Hermione no parting glance before storming away.

Peter looked apologetic. He looked nervously around himself, his eyes downcast as he rambled, 'Well, we may no longer run in the same circle but er.. I just wanted to tell you that, uh, James and Sirius are already in an Auror program and I'm taking up after my father's business. It isn't anything grand but, well, you know. And Remus, uh, you can imagine. The poor bloke's been looking but we live in a horribly short sighted society,' he said, bitter. 'Lily's going to be a healer, by the way. She no longer wants to join the goblins at Gringotts. Ruddy well, I'd say. Goblins aren't exactly easy to work with. What about you? What are you doing?'

Hermione couldn't help smiling. She raised a brow.

Peter blushed. 'Right, I'm sorry. I'm.. sorry.' He shrugged, 'James and Lily are getting married. Not very soon but in the near future.'

Hermione nodded, touched at his sentiment. He was just trying to say goodbye. The least she could do was cooperate. 'I'm glad they're both very happy with each other. What about you and Dorcas?'

He looked dejected now, 'We're very much in love but since her mother's taken her younger siblings into hiding it wouldn't very well be a good time for such a thing. The Meadowes family is respected and Voldemort isn't exactly forgiving,' he said, uncomfortable.

Hermione looked away in shame.

He clutched her hand, pleading, his tone furious but hushed, mindful of their whereabouts. 'I hope.. I hope you find your way back. Redemption isn't easy but.. if you ever changed your mind I'd help you. I will be there for you. I know your heart's not in it, Mi. It's Rodolphus. I'm quite certain of it. But please know that I..'

She shook her head, pulling her hand away. 'I chose my life,' she stated firmly. 'And I would choose it over and over again.'

He watched her leave, miserable and repentant, the silent plea in his eyes left unseen.

 


	55. Chapter 55

** _DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

The sweltering heat burned down Hermione's back as she made her way to the edges of the cottage she shared with Rab.

'I don't want him going anywhere even close to it,' Hermione complained, muttering under her breath.

Harry nodded, falling in step beside her, 'I understand. I really do. But there is no other way. It would seem highly suspicious for you to be visiting alone when it's your first trip to Gringotts as a Lestrange.'

'I won't mind it much if you took Rodolphus instead,' Rab commented, his voice laced with sarcasm. 'I'm certain he will very gladly hand over his Master's coveted Cup to you himself.'

She glared at him.

Rab sighed and placed his hands reassuringly on his sister's shoulders. 'Don't worry about my safety. I can look after myself.'

Hermione nodded tiredly, 'A horcrux tends to affect you in the worst way possible. Do not touch it any cost. Leave everything to me. You will merely act as an escort. Understood?'

Rab chuckled and looked at Harry, 'Was she always this bossy?'

Harry too was smiling playfully, 'This is nothing compared to what I and Ron had to live with.'

Hermione scowled, 'Now if you're done with your childish games I'd like to get a move on.'

Harry ushered the duo out to the Apparition Point. 'Be safe.'

Hermione squeezed his fingers, 'Nothing will go wrong. This is going to be, by far, the easiest thing to do. You know that I've faced worse.'

Rab's eyes darkened at that. A part of him hated himself at not knowing all the horrors his little sister had been through in her previous life. He hated how she had to live through a war that shouldn't have had children fighting in the first place.

'I know, Mione,' Harry said. 'I still worry. I wish I could go with you. I still could, if you want.'

Hermione shook her head vehemently, 'It would be incredibly foolish to take you along. Two known Death Eaters with the head of the Resistance; I'm sure that'd be a right sight.'

'Well, nobody knows me by face,' he retorted weakly. 'I could get the Cloak. It worked the last time.'

Hermione made a noise at the back of her throat, pinching the bridge of her nose. 'Stop fretting. We'll be fine. None of the curses will hurt us since we're a part of the family. You'd only be putting yourself at risk.'

Harry hugged her briefly, admitting defeat and clasped hands with Rab. 'She's taken after my danger magnet. Keep her safe.'

Rab nodded and took Hermione's hand in his, pulling her away to the middle of Diagon Alley, its streets scarcely filled despite the oncoming start of term at Hogwarts.

It was disconcerting. The air smelled so much like the decay of the Second War. It never ceased to make Hermione feel unsettled as she took in the dreariness of a once bustling place.

Rab morphed his features into those of great disdain. It still terrified Hermione at times, how eerily he tended to seamlessly turn into his older version. The Death Eater who'd only been an omen of an ill fate.

The wizards and witches that had dared step out in such times when the air reeked of death and destruction scampered away from the two Lestranges dressed all in black, their gaits menacing to the innocent bystanders.

Rab guided Hermione with a firm hand on her back, both of their senses heightened for any sign of an attack. The Dark Lord might have the upper hand in the current war but the Order could never be expected to stay put. With Hermione's help the Order stayed updated with even the tiniest of Death Eater missions and so sightings of small battles weren't quite unusual.

They climbed up the steps to the imposing figure of the snowy white building towering over the other shops, its burnished bronze doors guarded by an ancient looking goblin dressed in his scarlet and gold uniform. Stepping past the small entrance, they made their way through the next pair of silver doors, their eyes raking over the vast marble hall. Countless goblins stood along the long counters, most of them devoid of any clients given the current politics.

Walking over to the closest goblin, Rab cleared his throat, willing him to raise his head. The goblin almost balked at the imposing figure Rab made.

'Identification?,' the goblin squeaked out, extending his arm. He was definitely new to the business. Goblins were haughty creatures and certainly did not squeak.

'Hardly necessary,' Rab sneered, inching closer to the goblin, shadowing over him.

The goblin swallowed. 'May I inquire about the purpose of your visit, Mr and Miss Lestrange?'

'We wish to visit our vaults and seal my sister's place in the fortune.'

'Of course, Mr Lestrange.' He mumbled, before leading them to the side and into a secluded corner where there lay a single door. Swinging it open the party entered a corridor so deep Hermione couldn't quite make out where it ended.

They walked ahead a few paces, stepping inside a dimly lit room filled with the oddest instruments. It smelled very strangely of rose oil.

The goblin motioned for the duo to take their places in front of a dais. He clicked his fingers together and rolled down the parchment that materialised, spreading over to a length of two feet with names of all the Lestrange men and women that had ever lived. He lowered the rim of his glasses and presented a tiny knife to Hermione. 'Miss Lestrange, if you may?'

Hermione acquiesced, carefully slicing her palm along the lines etched onto her skin, letting the blood fall onto the enchanted parchment.

'Who shall act as the endorser and the witness?'

'I shall,' Rab answered. He took the knife and cut his own skin, letting his blood dribble over that of Hermione, confirming their relation to each other.

The parchment glowed bright as their magical signatures registered over it. Hermione felt a sharp tingle spread across her body like a new kind of magic overcoming her essence.

'The ritual is finished,' the goblin remarked.

'That was overly simplified,' Hermione remarked.

'Blood magic usually is. The elements of your blood are complex enough to make it look quite inconsequential.'

_But my blood isn't even pure._

The goblin nodded tightly then, warily eyeing the siblings before he motioned for them to follow him into the stone passageways that would take them to their vault.

Hermione gracefully settled inside the tiny cart beside Rab, clutching its edges tightly. She braced herself for the lurches that would soon follow, closing her eyes shut. When none came she grew suspicious, peeking open one eyelid to see Rab craning his neck backwards.

'What's the matter?,' she asked.

Rab scowled, 'Looks like we've got company.'

Hermione frowned. She had only just been about to question him further when she felt another warm body press into her side. She gasped as she turned around to see Rodolphus smiling at her.

'Well, hello, dear sister,' he said, his voice uncannily soft. 'Looks like I missed it. It is quite grievous you chose Rabastan to accompany you while you truly ascertain yourself as an heir to the Lestrange line. Surely, the Head of family must be the better choice.'

Hermione fumbled with her words, 'I felt I needed someone more in tune with my being for such an intimate affair. It has been long since we've been close, brother. Surely that doesn't offend you.'

'Oh, fret not. As much as it saddens me I cannot deny Rabastan has been the brother you've needed while I was busy foraging into a brighter future for us all.' He waved a hand at the goblin, urging him to move. The cart rolled out onto the slanting path, twisting and turning at a pace far greater than Hermione was comfortable with. 'Please don't mind me. I was out on some business. I shan't disturb your peace or get in the way.'

She felt Rab grip her hand, his other fist curling in frustration. How would they get to the Cup now?

The cart took them to the deepest part of the builiding, hundreds of miles below the surface. She felt the hair on her arms raise as memories of her previous escapade flooded her mind, the image of an untamed, deadly beast of a dragon seeming still so fresh and life-like.

She tumbled out from the cart, once again falling in step behind the goblin who placed his hand flush against the entrance to the Lestrange vault. As the door melted to give way to a cave like opening, she stepped inside.

A sudden realisation hit her as she marvelled at the amount of wealth pooled inside. She owned it too this time round. But instead of lulling her into safety it only made her feel uncomfortable in her own skin.

The mounds of gold and silver, shields and rare skins, goblets and jewels were spread across the cave that ran deeper and deeper for miles on end.

Rodolphus' eyes gleamed, 'A striking expanse of such wealth. Isn't it glorious? All this heritage coming from the oldest and the richest of pureblood families.'

Rab said, his tone flat, 'Fills me with pride every time.'

Hermione ignored the bickering of the two, moving away from them swiftly. Her eyes were trained onto the pair, her feet cautious despite the knowledge that both the Flagrante and the Gemino curses would prove to be ineffective. And yet the memory of how she'd helped Harry and Ron rob the ancient vault kept resurfacing, bringing along with it the terror and the fear.

She circled around as Rab's voice drifted over to her, 'The vault is said to be in place since 1474 itself, right after the inception of the bank. Our ancestors were careful with the security measures. The dragon was the idea of the Malfoys, it is said. Placing the sphinx close by was ours.'

Rodolphus carried on, 'The jewels in here are among the most intricate works of the goblins. Many ancient artefacts can be found inside these walls, dating back to the time of Merlin and Morgana. It is quite a heritage, if you ask me. Ours is a very old lineage. Our French ancestors were quite adamant upon ensuring its purity. I'm certain you shall bring to us only glory.'

She nodded absently as her gaze swept over the vast expanse. She vaguely remembered where the Cup was placed. Her senses on high alert, she inched closer to it, her eyes finally latched onto the gleaming gold of the horcrux, the badger engraved on its crystal clear surface.

From the corner of her eyes she saw Rab pulling Rodolphus to the other side, deeper into the cave, engaging him in idle talk so Hermione could get to the Cup.

Her hand deftly reached for the fake Cup in the insides of her robes but before she could so much as even brush her hand against it she felt Rodolphus sidle up next to her, expertly taking her wrist in his hand. She startled, looking up to see the frown on his face.

He tilted his head to the side, noticing where her gaze rested. He looked catefully at the Cup, trying pick apart its secrets, his brows crinkling. 'I wonder why it is so important to the Dark Lord.'

Hermione released a sigh of relief.

Rab looked at Rodolphus pointedly. 'You're bound to be hurting her, brother.'

Rodolphus shook himself out of his reverie, releasing his grip on Hermione's wrist. His eyes softened as he slipped on a silver band across her wrist, mumbling, 'This belonged to Mother. She wished for you to have it when you came of age but times have been rough.'

Hermione glanced covertly at Rab and saw something akin to sadness flicker in his eyes for he knew she wouldn't feel so strongly towards the sentiment showed by their.. no, _his_ mother.

She cleared her throat, memories of an auburn haired woman brimming and yet tainted by an absence of feelings. 'Thank you,' she said, the corners of her lips twitching. She might not ever care for the deceased Lady Lestrange as she did for her own mother but she did remember how the dark haired woman had poured all her love for a girl she never knew wasn't truly her daughter.

Rodolphus placed a chaste kiss against Hermione's forehead, once again surprising her with the depths of his feelings. To be loved by a man filled with hate was a strange thing indeed.

He stepped aside, venturing outside the cave, his hands holding two leather pouches filled with gold.

Hermione spared another glance at the silver band across her wrist. She turned around and quickly grabbed hold of the fake Cup, replacing it hurdiedly with the original. The very brush of her fingers against the smooth lapels of the Cup filled her with cold morbidity and dampened her spirits. Her eyes dropped and Rab had to almost carry her outside.

She regained her footing, stumbling just once before falling back into the cart.

Rodolphus smirked, 'Your destiny awaits you, love. The Dark Lord shall be calling upon you soon.'

They parted ways as Rab once again cupped her elbow and Apparated them away.

'That was an unnecessary hindrance,' he mumbled.

'But averted.' She fingered the Cup, feeling its darkness begin to envelope and muddy her mind.

They began a brisk walk up to the cottage.

'How does it work? The horcrux, I mean. You have it on your person right now but you seem fine other than having felt a little dizzy back then.'

Hermione shrugged. 'It's different for every one. I have had it on me for only moments. It can even go as far as possessing you.'

'Truly?'

She sighed, 'A friend of mine, Ginny, managed to keep her wits about her even while possessed by Voldemort's soul for a year. She was one of the fiercest women I ever knew.'

'Ginny,' he rolled out the name gently. 'You have never spoken of her before.'

She looked away, apologetic but the fondness she held for the girl won over her guilt. 'Harry was always the saviour, you know? Always defending others. Now Ginny, though? Ginny defended Harry. She was so, so strong.

'Hogwarts wasn't the safest place when the war broke out for real. She was tortured alongside so many others at the one place that was meant to be a safe haven. She took all that pain but she kept fighting. Her and Harry were to be married. But the war knew no reprieve and struck again.'

He seemed thoughtful. 'Do you reckon he still loves her?'

'I'm certain he does,' she smiled ruefully. 'I don't know if it's a good thing or not. Her memory is a blessing but the love that remains is no less than a curse. It is the greatest tragedy to be left behind when your most beloved is gone.'

Rab looked at her with concern. He tried distracting her. 'I can't imagine how you managed to acquire the Cup the first time.'

Hermione shrugged, 'We robbed your vault.'

Rab let out a soft laughter, 'Yes. Certainly.'

Hermione raised a brow.

Rab shook his head. 'No! It can't be! How could you possibly have escaped?'

'We rode the dragon away,' she said simply.

Rab opened his mouth but found no words to say.

'It wasn't easy,' her nose crinkled. 'I had to take Polyjuice Potion and pretend to be Bellatrix.'

Rab recovered from the shock. 'I can't imagine. It must have been horrendous. Even being in her vicinity makes my blood curdle.'

Hermione's eyes dropped his gaze as she smiled sadly, 'At least you realised it this time round.'

He chuckled darkly and whispered, 'It keeps me up at night a lot. Ever since you told me, it's been haunting me.' He sighed as the sun dipped down below the clouds. He pulled open the door for Hermione. 'What was the worst that I did?'

She helped him remove his cloak before removing her own. She saw Harry come up to them and lean against the door.

Hermione muttered, 'The prophecy spoke of a boy. It could either have been Harry or another named Neville. You know how Harry's parents died and Voldemort was finished albeit not forever. It angered his most loyal servants.' She stole a furtive glance at him and seeing the empty look in his eyes, squeezed his fingers again. 'Bellatrix led you and Rodolphus to Neville's house and targeted his parents. You.. you tortured them to insanity.'

Rab gasped as if struck. 'Tell me more.'

Hermione felt herself tear up, 'Do not ask me to cripple you with pain, Rab.'

'I need to know,' he bit out, every word a struggle.

She breathed out heavily, looking sadly at Harry, 'One of them grew up without those who'd have loved him the best. The other had them just in reach but so cruel were the fates that it was for too short a time before they forgot all about their only son.'

Rab fell to the floor, his head hung in shame.

Harry squeezed his shoulders, 'That man isn't you.'

Rab shook his head, aghast. 'I could _still_ be that man.'

'But you _won't_ be,' Hermione said furiously. 'That is all that matters.'

Harry chuckled, trying to lighten up the mood, 'Hermione mellowed you out. You're a good man.'

'It doesn't matter. That life.. it's .. it's vanished,' she whispered, an icy chill surrounding the walls of her heart. 'It will never again come to be.'

Rab threaded his fingers with hers. 'The new world will have one monster less. It will never balance out that which you have lost but it is something to be thankful for, yes?'

'Perhaps so,' she smiled tearfully, stealing a forlorn look with Harry, his eyes echoing the hollowness she felt within.

Rab looked away then. He poured himself a drink, gulping it down at once. He took the Cup from Hermione's hands and handed it over to Harry. 'Three down. Two mroe to go. We're closer to victory than before.'

Harry muttered, 'It's strange.' He wrapped his fingers around it. 'I can't feel them anymore.'

Rab raised a brow, confused.

Hermione patted Rab on his back, 'That is a story for another day.' She Stepped closer to Harry and kissed his cheek, hugging him close to herself, 'Happy birthday, Harry!'

'Thanks, Mione,' he whispered into her ear. He mumbled, 'You're still here.'

She smiled, tenderly wiping away the unshed tears in his green eyes before she turned around and left.

She burrowed herself in her bed, searching for sleep to lull her into nothingness. Visions of a distant life haunted her that night. But as the night wore on and the moon hung low, she woke up gasping for air, her arm prickling with a searing pain, chasing away any bliss she may have found in the land of dreams.

 


	56. Chapter 56

_**DISCLAIMER**_. _None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Hermione peeked inside Rab's room, the silence of the night creeping in on her. Finding him tossing around restlessly in his linen sheets, she clutched her cloak tighter around herself and moved on.

Shutting the door to the cottage close behind her, Hermione grasped her wand before touching her fingertips to the burning Dark Mark on her forearm. Feeling the familiar pull at her belly, she was sucked into the darkness as her feet landed on soft, plush grass somewhere in the English wilderness.

The hair on her neck stood straight, in fear of the strangeness of where she currently found herself. She squinted into the vacant darkness, her brows furrowing. She could only vaguely make out the sprawling lands before her.

She saw that she stood canopied by the edges of a forest she had never seen before. The full moon hung low in the blue black sky, almost waning as night gave into dawn.

Twigs snapped underneath her feet as she stepped around the woods, each move careful and calculated. The driftwood twisted in patterns indecipherable.

She stiffened as she felt a cold hand touch the nape of her neck almost lovingly.

'Ah, my dear, Hermione, I had hoped you'd come.' She turned around swiftly to find Voldemort's scarlet eyes staring down at her.

She bowed low, 'Of course, I did, My Lord. Just as you desired.'

'Your father was one of the first to join me, did you know? Extremely gifted. Rodolphus takes on after him. He was ever so curious to follow his ideals. Rabastan, on the other hand, required a bit more .. persuasion. Both of your brothers are explicitly brilliant at their wandwork and you, my dear, even more so.'

'You flatter me, My Lord,' she simpered.

He waved a hand flippantly. 'Of course, your grandfather had his shortcomings. It was a great pleasure to see him finally pass away. A true pestilence.'

Hermione's fists curled.

'He wasted away given his inclination towards Muggle filth. A fool. And yet I am glad for he has given to me my three most faithful servants. Your family is incredibly dear to me, Hermione. I put my faith in you.'

'Master showers me with praise I deserve not,' she murmured, subservient as ever.

His mouth curved, his long pale white finger pointing out in the distance.

Hermione strained her eyes to see. A crumpled figure lay quietly howling against the dripling ink of the skies.

A werewolf, she realised.

'My Lord?,' she frowned.

'Every once in a while one of Greyback's subjects rebels. It is a sad thing, trust me. I hate inflicting such pain.' He placed a hand against his heart, 'I truly do. And yet circumstances force me to act in such a rash manner.'

Hermione's skin prickled as the wolf let out an anguished cry.

'He has been weak. _Hesitation_ ,' he looked at her pointedly, his gaze speculative, 'is a most unwanted feeling.'

She swallowed as she immediately set to putting up stronger walls around her mind. She'd have been a fool to have missed the veiled threat in his voice.

Voldemort glared at the wolf, his hand on his wand tightening. 'Bring him to me,' he commanded.

Hermione braced herself for the task ahead. Holding her breath, she wandlessly willed the wolf to drift away into unconsciousness. She left behind the safety of the woods to move closer to the now quietly whimpering figure.

She gasped as she recognised the grey fur on the crying wolf. With slow steps she reached his side, tentatively spreading out her fingers towards him. She lay a reassuring hand on his head, casting several spells to take away his pain but keep him inebriated still. A pressure built against the back of her eyes at seeing the blood that matted the fur on his body but she dared not let any of her sorrow show.

_Oh, Remus._

She levitated Moony over to where Voldemort now stood, only a few hundred paces away. Voldemort nodded tightly, motioning for Hermione to follow before he took hold of Moony by his throat and vanished.

Hermione stumbled, her breath turning ragged as she spun on her feet and found herself walking up the stone pavement to Malfoy Manor.

She entered the hall, as empty as the corridors outside, lead in her feet. She bent down to kiss the hem of Voldemort's robes all the while feigning ignorance to the ragged form of her friend in the farthest corner.

'Soon the moon shall set.' Voldemort sneered, 'You shall find that you know of this pathetic half breed.'

'Is that so, My Lord?,' she echoed, her eyes downcast, something akin to longing tugging at her heart.

He smiled evilly as he placed a hand on her shoulder, 'Indeed. I am certain you will enjoy yourself immensely at inflicting pain upon this mongrel given your .. history.'

Hermione felt bile rise up her throat as Moony howled one last time before his body began shrinking, the pain of breaking bones adding to that from the wasteland of wounds Voldemort had inflicted upon him.

Remus groaned and let out a string of curses as he regained his human form, the skin on his back a criss cross of jagged scars. His face twisted into a grimace, his fingers feeling along the sides of his body, two of his ribs jutting out. As he ambled himself over to the corner, the remains of his last dinner hurtling out, Hermione made herself scarce. She schooled her expression into one of revulsion but her heart spun a different tale, her insides burning with sorrow.

'Do you remember this face, my dear?' Voldemort's eyes glimmered in mirth.

'One of Potter's pets,' she spat with no real venom.

Remus whimpered as Voldemort flung his battered body away. His amber eyes trembled as he looked at Hermione, understanding flooding his gaze even under such duress. His hands fumbled to cover whatever modesty he had left, his broken wrists in hapless disarray.

Hermione looked away, choosing instead to preen under Voldemort's stern gaze.

Voldemort stepped closer to Remus, his toes stabbing onto his broken chest. He smirked at the shouts he elicited from the tortured man. 'You joined not a month ago and yet you've shown such disloyalty. My man, Greyback, offered to you shelter when the entire world sneers at you. I offered you a semblance of an identity, you ungrateful little creature and this if how you repay me for the kindness I have shown you?'

Remus attempted scrambling onto his feet, a futile effort given the condition of his mangled legs. 'My.. My Lord?,' he stuttered.

'You think that little boy you sought to protect rather unceremoniously would ever see you as an equal?' Voldemort created a circle of fire around him, its flames flapping against Remus, the flesh on his body charring. 'He would spit on your face if he knew of your true nature. _Disobedience_. _Insurbordination_.'

Remus croaked out, the epitome of a repentant servant, 'I .. I, I apologize, My.. Lord.'

'I am a merciful master,' Voldemort said calmly. 'You shall be punished but I will allow you another chance at a life with us.'

Hermione swallowed, the nature of her late night summon now dawning on her.

The flames rose higher with another flick of Voldemort's wrist. He turned to look at Hermione, a gracious hand reaching out to her. 'If you would so oblige me, love? Hermione, dear, your expertise at magic against such creatures is of great importance. It shall come in handy.'

She gulped. Every part of her being crying out, she whispered, 'He will make a docile pet yet.'

Voldemort looked at her, pleased.

' _Dolos_ ,' she murmured, repulsed at the sick pleasure in Voldemort's eyes at seeing Remus' body thrash in pain.

Voldemort seated himself in a high backed chair as Remus screamed at the top of his lungs, pain worth of a thousand needles pressing into his skin etching its way across his body.

' _Glacies_ ,' she uttered, her breath hitching with every spoken curse, her own body feeling the hurt she inflicted at a man she so loved and respected. Her heart broke as Remus stifled his screams all in the vain attempt of trying to spare her the pain of being the bringer of such ache to him. He nodded almost imperceptibly, his eyes conveying to her his acceptance of their helplessness.

' _Ideste_!' She could hear faint footsteps somewhere above her now. ' _Crucio_!' Her heart hammered against her ribcage. ' _Crucio_!' She knew she had to make it look believable. She had to make it seem true and raw. If she didn't appease Voldemort he would only strive to bring something much worse onto Remus' already broken body.

She felt herself crumble at the sight of the tears that rolled down the brown haired man's cheeks, mixing with his blood and snot and the dirt that covered his face.

'I am so sorry,' she mouthed to him, her heart breaking at the sad smile that played on his lips, his mind warring to lull him into unconsciousness. Her guilt was like a demon threatening to strangle her, drown her asunder.

_Monster_.

That's who she was.

A spineless monster. For whatever her intentions might be, the sins she'd commit would not leave her soul. She'd reap for the henious crimes she was committing now and she'd gladly step up for her reckoning when the day came.

_Death too must be earned._

Remus tried to fight off the drugging silence that threatened to surround him, the cancer like pain ebbing towards the centre of his heart. He writhed quietly, not once giving in to the burning inside him, his eyes steady upon Hermione's, brimming only and only with love. He knew if the pain in his bones was an icy chill then the guilt that ate away at her heart was like a glacier of sharp ends.

His fingers clamped around his stomach, digging into the skin and boring in punctures. He could take it no longer. Every time Hermione pressed her wand closer to herself, her eyes shutting tight, sent a wave of sorrow flooding through him. He had to end this torture and so he would gladly be the docile pet Voldemort wanted.

'Mercy,' he whispered into the cold, 'mercy, Master.. please, My Lord.. mercy..'

Voldemort hummed under his breath, 'What was that I heard, you mutt?'

'Mercy.. I.. I beg of you, My Lord.. no more..'

' _Crucio_!' Voldemort yelled. 'If ever again you dare defy direct orders I shall have you whipped and paraded around. _Dolos_! _Crucio_!'

Remus' eyes drooped low as he groaned, his bladder emptying onto the ground.

Hermione averted her eyes, not meaning to add to his humiliation.

'Greyback,' Voldemort called out, making Hermione frown as she gathered her wits about her. The morning sun was well unto the sky. She had not noticed the rising day.

Greyback entered, a feral growl erupting from his throat as his eyes fell on Remus. He kicked his sore chest, the bruises on his pale skin blacker than ever.

Hermione bit her lip, drawing blood.

Voldemort flicked his wand. Remus cried out one last time before Greyback bowed and flung his shredded being onto his shoulders, dragging him away.

Hermione gasped as she saw the pool of blood that lay in the place where Remus had been only moments ago. Her numb feet carried her away once dismissed, ignorant of her bearings.

Hermione found Narcissa pacing in front of the Manor.

Narcissa conjured a cold towel once Hermione stepped outside. She pressed it into her hands, wiping away the sweat that fizzled at her forehead.

'He was your friend. It was years ago and yet I remember.'

'One of the first,' Hermione whispered. 'A strange time and a strange place and he loved me for who I was.'

Narcissa felt the wetness in her own eyes as she saw the curly haired witch vanish into nothingness.

Hermione ran inside Harry's flat. She knew he wouldn't be home for hours. She threw herself onto the floor of the bathroom, tearing away from her body the clothes that clung to her.

There was never relief. Not for the likes of her. She had been drunk on bliss with having acquired the Cup. It meant nothing. Not if it couldn't help spare Remus his hurts and sorrows.

She cried out, her screams muffled by the Silencing Charm she had placed around herself. She screamed herself hoarse, every sound she made punctuated by the scratch of her fingers against the Dark Mark that lay against her pink skin.

Her mind was a battlefield, rage building inside her like boiling water. She looked into the mirror, what stared back frightening her. She didn't feel human. The woman on the silvered surface was some distorted and twisted monster, the winter in her eyes colder than the frosty fingers of hatred that grasped at the edges of Hermione's heart.

She felt intoxicated with the pulsating rage she radiated at herself, wildfire roaring in her mind. She felt the blood trickle down her arm, her two scars mudding together, the Dark Mark and the word Mudblood.

It was a funny thing, her blood. It knew the dark of her insides and yet it was the same as the pure liquid that surged through the veins of the man who had thrived not for himself but for the reprieve of her deranged heart even when he'd found himself hanging at the gates of Death.

Remus Lupin was a hero. He was the man people sung about.

Hermione was nobody. She was a porcelain doll tossed about, chased away from a battle to another, each stripping her of her soul.

_How much longer?_

She wished Harry would return soon.

_How much longer?_

Perhaps they could run away. Why did it have to be them? Why did fate get to decide? When would Death come?

_How much longer?_

How much longer till she found the elysian truth of her life? How much longer till she could rest? How much longer till she bled dry?

_How much longer?_


	57. Chapter 57

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

_**AN**_ : **A bit of a time jump here. We have Remus' POV today to see what's been happening with the Marauders. We will switch back to Hermione next chapter again. Also, we will be seeing a lot more of Harry soon again.**

The smell of the sea clung close to Remus' clothes, his feet hanging over the railing as his fingers fiddled with his wand, his knuckles white. The wind chilled him to his bones, each strong gust beating across his face and splashing him with salt sprays. He felt just like the waves did. Tossed about and churned into nothingness, the lonely shore rapturing the deepest confines of his mind, transporting him back to the time he had come to stand before his worst nightmare.

_'Oh, aren't you a sweet dish?' Greyback leered at him, his yellowing teeth bared. 'I remember you well, boy. What a tiny, pretty little thing you were all those years ago.'_

Memories could such a burden to bear at times.

_As the moon hung low and wide, Remus decided to forage just a little deeper into the woods. He would run back home at the slightest chance of a scuffle. He was only just picking through ripened fruits when he heard it. A low rumble of the throat._

_Not a second had passed. He didn't even find the time to turn around and the wolf was onto him, tearing into his flesh, red blood dripping down the child's sides, his entire being mere skin and bone._

He sighed.

The old, decrepit cottage a few hundred yards behind him stood guard. It was the latest of the Order safehouses, not that Remus knew most of them considering how he rarely ever got the chance to attend the Order meetings anymore. Not since he'd joined Greyback's pack as a spy for Dumbledore despite the horror it brought him.

It had been a year since he'd been tortured. It had taken a gruelling five months for Remus to undo the blast his reputation had taken in the pack, to regain Greyback's faith. He had only faltered for a second. He could never have bitten the little boy that one night when they'd stumbled upon, not even if he hadn't been turned into a wolf then. Who knew what kind of a monster that would have turned the boy into.

He shuddered as the sun finally dipped below the horizon, the violet hues of the sky peeking at him shyly.

It was strange really. A year had passed since he had walked out of that dreary Manor where one of his best friends had been forced to inflict upon him the kind of pain you wouldn't even wish on an enemy. He felt his heartstrings tug even at the thought of how Hermione must have tortured herself over the entire debacle for days on end. He had never again found the chance to communicate with another Death Eater much less Hermione.

Sure he had seen her in enough battles. She was always skirting around to the edges, helping in any way that she could, the tiniest and the most inconsequential ways but helping nonetheless. She often chose daintier curses, those that could never truly hurt. She also kept close to her brother and Regulus but that was not a surprise.

He was broken out of his reverie as he heard the distinct sound of someone Apparating in to the beach side. He turned around almost at instinct, his wand drawn out.

'Merlin! Is that really you, Remus?'

Remus sucked in a breath. In the halo of the moonlight Lily radiated beauty, her red hair glowing in the dark. His lips twitched in a hesitant smile. 'Hullo.'

Lily's grin broadened as she flung herself into his arms, all signs of the hardened lines the war had garnered over onto her face disappearing in an instant.

'How are you?' He asked.

Her smile grew dimmer, 'I've been better. But what's been happening with you?' Her eyes roamed over his body, a worried frown marring her features. 'You look like you haven't eaten in days, Remus.'

He smiled a wry smile, shrugging carelessly.

Her voice grew sombre. 'We miss you. This is only the third time I'm seeing you in almost ten months.'

Remus' eyes turned downcast. 'You knew it would be this way. The happy times had to come to an end. Hogwarts was always far away from reality,' he murmured.

He hated lying to his friends. To his family.

She frowned. 'Remus, if you still haven't been able to find a job James can help you out. So can Sirius.'

He looked at her, understanding apparent in his eyes. He would never spurn his friends. He knew it would not be charity coming from them. Not when they were more like brothers.

'We don't even know how you're holding up. You rarely show up. Not even for the Order. How.. how bad could things be, Remus?'

'Lily, you don't understand.. not everything is so easy. Not for someone like me. I, I can't just move in. I have my parents to think about too. My father hasn't held a stable job in years. He's targeted by the Death Eaters for being so vocal against them back in his day. To keep them safe, I do what I have to.'

More lies.

_Despicable._

She reached out for his hand, clutching it tight. 'I am begging you, Remus.. don't shut us out.. you don't have to do this all by yourself.'

'Lily, please. Stop. I know they think I'm ..' He swallowed visibly, the hurt from all the tedious months he had spent alone catching up. 'I know what they think about me. They're suspicious. They think I'm spying on Dumbledore,' he whispered, broken.

She looked away, dismayed. 'But _I_ don't. I don't believe any of it. You're out there doing God knows what. I thought we were all a family.'

He smiled sadly, shaking his head. He might have believed her if not for the pink that had tinged her cheeks, a sure sign of her guilt. 'It doesn't count up to a whole lot, you know? Not really..'

He saw her eyes fill with unshed tears, the starlight glittering over the two.

'Will you be at the wedding, then?' she asked, steering him away from the gloom.

'Only time will tell.'

There was a silence surrounding them then. So thick that Remus could have almost burst.

Lily wavered with her words. 'There are rumours.. about you. They say.. they say you've been seen roaming around with other werewolves.'

Remus sighed. He had no answer good enough for her.

His brows furrowed as he sidestepped her and entered the tiny little cottage. He knew he was early. Terribly so. Lily had been the only one to have reached other than himself and Dumbledore, it seemed, who was sat patiently awaiting the evening's company.

'My boy,' he smiled kindly.

Remus tipped his head, blending with the walls so thoroughly nobody would ever spot him unless he wanted.

As the party began arriving in twos and threes Remus wanted nothing else than to disappear.

He saw Elphias Doge teeter onto the edges of his stool as Alastor Moody preached to the Order the importance of constant vigilance, his age old mantra. The representatives of the Resistance sat quietly in the corner, their voices hushed and their gazes steadfast upon Dumbledore.

Remus' eyes kept averting from a pair of hazel ones. He dared not meet James' tired gaze lest he give himself away. He muted the chaos of the meeting, the arguing men and women and the banging of desks. It seemed people were already tiring from the war.

A year. Only a year that it had dragged on and yet the soldiers were already weary.

An estimate had been made of those murdered in cold blood. Voldemort's Death Eaters had reportedly killed a total of seven hundred and sixty three Muggles in the short time and tortured into insanity even more.

The Order too had suffered. They had lost Arthur Weasley's father to Lucius Malfoy's curse. The Prewett twins had come close to death many a times too but had always miraculously escaped. Dorcas Meadowes had been kidnapped by some deranged monster of a man, one of Voldemort's followers, but had very surprisingly escaped the next fortnight. She refused to reveal to her friends how. Not even Peter ever found out despite the hours he had spent ruthlessly turning over every Death Eater hideout with James and Sirius on his tail. Remus was almost terrified about how much further Peter could fall into the fit of darkness that had overcome him in those days when he had searched for the woman he loved. He was quite overly glad to see Peter finally breathe a sigh of relief at having found his beloved by God's grace.

Remus, however, was certain it was no divine intervention. He was sure of Hermione's hand behind Dorcas' escape. There was no other plausible explanation. Alas, nobody might ever know.

'.. we simply cannot allow this absurdity to continue,' Moody yelled. 'You have to tell us where you find all these far fetched stories. Who is it feeding you such senseless tales, Dumbledore?'

The Headmaster merely smiled, ever the face of serenity. 'Why, Alastor, these exaggerated ideas have turned out to be exactly how Voldemort plays out his raids.'

'It still is quite peachy, though, isn't it?' Doge quipped. 'In times like this you can't ever account for which side somebody is truly on. How long before this mysterious individual lands us in a pickle of a situation? It could be an intricately designed ruse.'

'I am no old coot however much I may be said to be one, old friend. I am quite certain of where I place my loyalties.'

'The Head of the Resistance agrees,' the man named Elias remarked. 'We happen to share the same sources, Mr Dumbledore. Our organisation approves of your choices. Your next mission may not entirely be the most thoughtful but it is undoubtedly effective.'

Sirius snorted, 'Stay out of this. It's not your precious life concerned. It's terribly convenient for you to agree to this madness.

'Too right,' Peter nodded. 'It's _our_ necks on the line.'

'If you're so sure about how this is going to turn out then join us,' Sirius smirked.

'Gladly,' the blond called Nikolina replied. 'Considering how it is clearly out of your reach.'

'There is no fooling Voldemort,' Edgar Bones quietly murmured, ignoring the bickering youngsters. 'We could never pull this off.'

'We might be able to,' Frank Longbottom added, 'but not with the number of people we have left. Marlene's already been injured. Same goes for Fletcher. Dorcas isn't' up for a fight either what with being malnourished and all.'

'That's right, Professor,' Lily agreed. 'We are severely shorthanded.'

Dumbledore placated the lot, 'I believe it is the mind's gameplay that bends armies' will not the number of men you have on your side.'

Another squabble broke out over the logistics of the Order's new memorandum. It was then Dumbledore chose to rise to his full height and fill the room with his true power, dispersing the crowd for a short break of tea.

Remus saw as the group once again disbanded and moved to gather themselves in smaller numbers, huddled around and eschewing their grievances to each other. He braced himself for another night filled with loneliness. He would have appreciated a full night's sleep perhaps. He never came across it anymore with the pack. Greyback was always on the move, prowling for more and more victims.

He sighed, picking up a tiny biscuit off one of the plates, the smell emanating off it not enticing enough anymore to satiate the starved wolf. He couldn't stomach it not after the kind of things he had seen during the course of the previous year.

He moved to take one of the empty chairs in a vacant corner but was interrupted before he even got midway to it.

'Join us, mate,' James grinned at him. 'Months since we've seen each other and you're still running away. Come on, now.'

Remus' mouth opened in shock and closed again. He stared after James' retreating back, a strange feeling in his gut. He followed close behind, his steps halting every once in a while. What would he even say after such abrupt periods of absence? He knew James would consider it the highest dishonour to mistrust a friend and yet he knew the doubt lingered somewhere inside.

Peter smiled at him earnestly, hugging his side close. Remus chuckled, instantly comforted.

Sirius, too, made an effort. He clapped him on the back, tugging at Remus' brown hair playfully but the tightness in his jaw never really went away. Remus could see right through the act and it hurt more than he thought it would.

Was this how Hermione felt? So blindly overseen when all that she was doing was to save her friends. To think Remus had been a part of the silent torture inflicted on her made another part of him ache.

Lily levitated the kettle around, each of them pouring themselves a hot cup of drinks.

'Drink up, the lot of you,' James remarked.

'Dumbledore's come up with another one of his badgy old plans.' Sirius complained, 'The crowd isn't going to be happy. It will keep us here all night.'

Peter nudged him lightly, chuckling, 'It could have been a lot worse. At least we don't have Hagrid harping onto us tonight. You know how he gets completely lost in his ramblings.'

'Dorcas should have you on a tight leash,' Lily grumbled. 'You don't have to be so mean.'

James shook his head tiredly at his friends. 'It isn't a joke. We're going to be risking our lives here. Quit laughing over it.'

Remus felt his heart constrict. The greatest jokester of them all and he was all grown up.

'Well, at least we have surprise on our side,' Lily said hopefully.

'Voldemort is the kind of man,' Remus said, 'who would go as far as considering even such trivialties as surprise before he starts his day and sets his foot out.'

'You act as if you know a lot about how his mind works,' Peter said carefully, his body tipping forward towards Remus, a lion beginning his hunt.

Remus scowled, 'It is something each one of us ought to know. It's in our job description, isn't it? Know your enemy and half your work is done.'

Sirius perked up. 'Really, now? You aren't very good at your job, then, are you? You don't even have the time to show up anymore. I do wonder what keeps you so busy. Here we all are putting our lives on the line every day and what is it that keeps you up at night?'

'How is it any of your business, Black? You sure as hell don't give a damn.'

James placed a reassuring hand on Sirius' shoulder before moving to stand between the two men. 'Stop it, the both of you. This is exactly what Voldemort does best. He creates mistrust where there doesn't need to be any. Give him some credit, Padfoot. The man you're pointing fingers at is the one who's the least likely to go around following the Death Eaters. Have you forgotten Greyback's one of them? Fenrir. The man who ruined Moony's life.'

His eyes flickered over to Peter next. 'Honestly, Wormy, you know how bad of a liar he is. He could never fool a fly. Stop badgering him.'

Sirius looked abashed, turning his head away. He nodded tightly at Remus and muttered a half-hearted apology.

Peter merely chose to sit down, dropping heavily into a wooden chair.

Sirius whispered, 'I wonder how Voldemort does it. The place reeks of insecurities.'

Lily squeezed his hand, 'All we need to do is keep a..'

The rest of her words were drowned by the blur of motion set astride at the sight of Kingsley's patronus, shining bright in the dimly lit room. 'They have attacked Gringotts. Ranks of Death Eaters plundering through the entire street. Dispatch forces right away.'

Dumbledore barked out orders, each of the Order members fleeing away to the scene of devastation. Remus too ran behind the others, hot on Peter's heels away into the dark of the night. He was only just about to follow Lily into the battle scene before he remembered Remus Lupin was one of Greyback's pawns. He couldn't be seen Apparating in beside an esteemed Order member.

No. He ought never be seen anywhere even close to one.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, his frustration at being utterly useless building. The wind bit at his face, tearing at his skin.

He could do nothing but stare helplessly into the sea, turbulent and unforgiving, its vast multitudes ready to swallow him whole and free him of his human troubles. How strangely comforting was it that Death was always so close.

He shut his eyes tight, waving his wand around himself and muttering quick spells to transfigure his face into a grotesque version of himself. He dared not fight lest he be identified by his wandwork but he could help with the wounded.

He spun into the darkness, leaving behind the rusty tinge of the air and landing himself forefront in the middle of a wrecked world.

He could practically feel the hum of the magic in the air, the swirling currents of blasts and echoes of spells sending ripples into the fibres of the universe.

He squinted his eyes to see Hermione in the distance, her stance poised and her gaze intent on a maroon robed man fighting alongside the Resistance far away onto the opposite side.

Lies and secrets.

They would be the end of them all.


	58. Chapter 58

__

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

' _Morsmordre_!' Yaxley yelled into the air, the nightsky awash with the Dark Mark that the world quivered before.

Surefooted, Hermione leaped over the fallen debris, her vision obscure. The first thing the Death Eaters had done was to wreck the lights that glittered along the Alley.

Rodolphus, Bellatrix and Lucius were doing the most damage. They had severed the heads of the team of nine aurors that had been the first to have been dispatched over to the scene and then moved on to take down several civilians.

It was chaos. That was the only way it could ever be described. People were running in all directions, dust coated rubble trapping scores of families underneath.

'Hermione, look out!' she heard Rab yell, his arms outstretched to defend himself from a group of three Order members.

Hermione turned around just in time to see a ghastly curse coming her way from the tip of someone's wand. Her nose crinkled at seeing the maroon robes. She wished Harry could let his army know she wasn't a threat.

She latched into a deadly duel with the woman, ducking and stepping away from her line of target every once in a while, aching for moments where she could catch her breath and send a curse at the men fighting Rab behind her.

Dueling, Hermione realised, was immensely difficult when you weren't meant to injure your opponent.

She gasped when she saw the woman fall rather unceremoniously onto the ground, her blood seeping into the soil. Alecto Carrow stood leering where the member of the Resistance had been standing just a moment ago.

'Getting a little rusty, are we, Lestrange?'

Hermione sneered at her before whipping around to run into the opposite direction. It wasn't easy that night for her to help out. Not with the great number of Death Eaters assembled. So she chose to help her brother instead.

Rab was now engaged with two of those men. One had taken a blow to his chest and lay breathing heavily to the side. Hermione flicked her wrist to send him into a state of unconscious, cataloguing his wounds to realise he wasn't in any imminent danger. Rab had made sure he would survive.

She raised her wand against the two men when she saw a blinding light envelope them. She nodded at Reggie as he levitated them over to a hidden alley, disillusioning them in the process.

Seeing Reggie now standing beside Rab strengthened her hope. They would have each other's back. She had to go and look out for Harry.

Criss crossing across the street where each masked Death Eater involved in a fight to death with at least two warriors from the Light side, Hermione wove her way to the thick of the raging battle.

James and Peter were battling against Greyback and a few of Snatchers.

She absently wondered about the American Admiral. She hadn't yet come across him. She had only just seen him once in battle. It had been seven months ago that she had found him deeply contemplating over the fallen and the dead, standing stoically, his brows furrowed and his mouth set in a thin line, tiny blasts littering all directions but never once coming close to him.

She turned round the bend, coming across the creaking roof of Florean Fortescue's ice cream parlour. She could make out Harry and two men on his side fighting a group of seven Death Eaters.

Pretending to aim her wand at the maroon robed men, Hermione managed to wandlessly take down one of the Death Eaters that she could tell was Crabbe Senior. She circled the group, expertly blending in and catching Harry's eye to let him know of her presence. She kept to the fringes. It turned out that Hermione didn't have to do much. Harry was more adept than she ever could be at battling his way through a tight spot.

He and his men managed to take down the group all by themselves, every blow punctuated by a scream of horror from the black robed men.

She made a quick escape, always keeping Harry in her sight who was now all by himself, fighting anyone who came his way. By a turn of events Hermione found herself cornered into the edges of the battle while Harry too skirted over to the crevices.

As the crowd thinned and the bate intensified Hermione caught a glimpse of a familiar redhead briskly dueling a pair of Death Eaters. One of them finally managed to pin her down, the other rearing his way into her side, sending her wand flying away into the sky.

Lily fell on her knees, her hair being tugged onto by the masked man. Lily spat onto his face as he bared his teeth at her, ripping her robes apart.

Hermione didn't hesitate or wait to hear an agonised scream coming from behind her. In a breath she had her wand pointing at one of the men, green light rushing at him and striking him in the middle of his chest. Before he could even fall Hermione's fingers had already clasped onto the knife nestled between her breasts. She sent it hurtling at the other man who sat straddling Lily, befuddlement marring his face at seeing Hermione turn her back against him.

Burke.

Burke stuttered blood. His pure blood that now soaked Lily through and through, Hermione's knife jutted in between his lips. Lily looked horrified, covered in a stranger's blood.

Hermione felt someone shove her aside roughly as he barrelled into the redhead, gathering her up in his strong arms.

'You're okay.. Merlin, you're okay, Evans,' Sirius whispered, looking at her reverance and turning to Hermione with confusion in his eyes.

Hermione gulped.

Sirius' attention switched back to the girl in his arms as Lily whimpered, her green eyes brimming with unshed tears.

He weaved his fingers soothingly into the strands of her hair. He pressed a tiny button into her hands, 'This will take you to safety. Go. Go, Evans. I'll keep Prongs safe for you. Go.'

Lily's head wobbled as she looked tearfully at Hermione, her mouth forming words the bushy haired witch couldn't quite understand. She squeezed the button in her hand and vanished.

Hermione stumbled on her feet as she made to run away. She could hear the heavy footfall is Sirius' steps behind her. She only ran harder, deeper into the battle.

She bit back a sob as she fell upon a raving Yaxley, his hands gripping at the head of a little baby, tearing her away from the bosom of her pleading mother.

Sirius shot past Hermione, strangling him. He cast a curse at Yaxley that had him yelling in pain. Making quick work of it, Sirius had the child secure in his arms. He helped the mother and secured their safety.

Hermione used the distraction to hide herself amidst the chaos, once again rushing towards Harry. The fate of the battle had turned. Despite the destruction the Death Eaters had caused, they were now outnumbered and herded off to one side.

Lucius commanded, 'Retreat!'

It took only seconds for most of them to Disapparate but Hermione still couldn't take her eyes off Harry. She knew it was futile and that he was definitely not mortally wounded but the nagging feeling in her heart would never let her rest. The sight of blood pooling at the base of his neck would worry her for as long as she knew it was there. She needed only a brief glance at his face and she would leave.

She looked around helplessly, her gaze following strange faces she couldn't put a name to. She could see the hurt lingering in his eyes but nobody made a move towards him, everyone intent on catching at least one of the retreating figures.

She saw him fumble and clutch at his hair. Another hurried step and he fell to the ground, his wand rolling away from him. He crawled into a corner hidden from the sight of the still milling about Order and Resistance and the occasional flash of black robes.

No.

Hermione would never leave him in a state like this. Quickly carting a way through the rubble, she made a run for it, thanking the stars for having thinned out the crisis where he lay.

'Harry,' she murmured, her arms reaching for his face. She let out a sharp breath as she felt someone crush her fingers with their feet.

Her vision blurred as she looked up at a golden haired woman towering over her, her stance protective over Harry's.

Harry flailed his arms round, trying to brush away the woman who obscured his view of Hermione, his mind addled with all the pain and sorrow. 'Nina.. no.. Mione.. she's.. no..'

Nikolina kicked into Hermione's face, fury charging her onwards.

Spit flew out her mouth as Hermione was knocked into the debris, feeling shards of glass puncture through her skin. She cried out in pain, a burning ache building inside her.

'You cannot begin to imagine the ways I will torture you with,' Nikolina murmured.

Hermione frowned. Had Rab and Reggie left without her? Why would they do that?

She felt another sharp stab of pain hit her. Only the vision of Harry's face, although blurred beyond recognition, kept her going. She could see him struggle against the blond woman who kept passing off his words as some kind of delirious musings.

Another stab. Another pricking sensation.

Her breath came in ragged, shallow gasps. She lay groaning, her skin clammy. She could hear the thrumming sounds of the battle slow down as more and more people vanished from the scene back to the safety of their homes.

'Stop!' Harry yelled, distracting Nikolina for long enough that Hermione managed to crawl away, her wand gripped tighter in her hands.

_Destination. Determination. Deliberation._

She had to Apparate away.

A pair of arms lifted her up. They didn't maim her. They were comforting and warm. Her heart squeezed as she felt the burning fire being replaced by an icy numbness, black overcoming her vision.

* * *

 

'Harry,' she gasped into the silence, rushing to stand up but feeling someone's hand wrap around hers and hold her in place.

Her blood ran cold. Had she truly been captured then?

She squinted her eyes, the dimly lit room coming into focus. She gathered her bearings, her fingers twisting into the soft linen sheets underneath. Her brows furrowed as her gaze passed over the face she had kept sketching behind her eyes for longer than a year now.

Sirius' stormy eyes met hers.

'He was tended to by the best of the Mediwitches the Order has access to,' he said softly. 'He passed out just moments before you did.'

Hermione nodded, faintly looking around for her wand in the room that obviously belonged to Sirius judging from the frames of pictures that set upon the grey walls.

Hermione's voice was raspy, her body tingling with the echo of all the pain from the battle. 'How.. how long have I been out?'

'A few hours.'

She dreaded the answer to her next question. 'Why am I here?'

'You have me dying of curiosity,' he shrugged, leaning back into the rocking chair he sat in.

'But that woman.. Nikolina .. she was..'

'I fended her off of you,' he winked playfully. 'Difficult one to take down.' He shook his head tiredly. 'I had to take you away. They would have extorted information out of you by hurting you. You're a ruddy Death Eater and I escaped with you. I _helped_ you,' he hissed. 'I still don't know why I did it.

Hermione frowned. 'Why did you bring me here?' She attempted an expression of contempt. 'I'd rather die than share a roof with a blood traitor.'

'None of that, Hermione,' he said sharply. 'I saw you help Lily, a _muggleborn_. You turned your back on Yaxley. I saw you run to the aid of your friend Harry who so conveniently turns out to be a member of the Resistance. What game are you playing at?'

Hermione gritted out, 'Who fixed me?'

'Lily stopped by. She's training to be a healer.'

'What am I still doing here?' she asked him.

'I don't know,' he whispered. He sighed. 'Why did you help her?'

His face was devoid of his laughter lines, she quietly noticed. 'I favour no rapists.' She could have her life signed away with the way she was going. 'I'd have gladly killed her if you hadn't stumbled upon me.'

'You're lying,' he chuckled. 'Don't forget I _am_ the rightful Black heir who has been subjected all the special lessons your pureblood legacy forces you to have. I can spot a liar faster than anyone else.'

She sighed.

'You're close with Harry and yet you're a Death Eater. Either he's spying on us or you're doing something equally as foolish and dangerous. But I am quite certain the leader of the Resistance wouldn't go to such troubles. So tell me, Hermione. What's your deal?'

She looked away, her head falling down in her lap.

' _You_ are Dumbledore's spy, aren't you? The one who's been feeding him all this information.'

'You're stupid to have brought me to your home, Sirius.' She said, 'I don't need a wand to hurt you.'

'No,' he shook his head, smiling sadly. 'You only need more lies.'

Hermione made to get up but found him once again blocking her. He inched closer, getting into the bed beside her. He pressed his face to hers, his breath mingling with hers.

'Why didn't you come to me, Mi?' His voice was broken. 'Why did you have to lie?'

'Your theory may not be right,' she whispered, her resolve breaking. 'I might still just be trying to save my neck and get away.'

'But you're not.' His fingers threaded along with hers.

'We are in a war, Sirius. Play your cards safely or you will risk your life.'

He chuckled, his breath fanning across her neck, her nerves frying from the fire he lit inside her. 'Love between the wars. Isn't that too damn poetic?'

'This isn't love,' she said, shaking her head petulantly.

'It might not be. Whatever it is.. it's real.'

She pushed him away, her weak and drunken heart withering away as she pulled herself away from him, teetering on her feet. She outstretched her arm, 'My wand, please?'

He let out a sigh without meaning to. He reached into the pocket inside his robes, pressing her wand into her hands, looking deep in her sunken eyes that no longer danced merrily when the sun moonlight glanced their way.

As she landed onto her feet and rushed inside the cottage, Hermione couldn't think. She felt herself numbing to every rational thing, her mind in a whirlwind.

Rab cried out in relief, 'Dear Lord, Merlin, Mi, it's you!'

She threw herself into his open arms, hugging him close, sobbing into his shoulders.

'I had no idea. What happened to you? I have been worried sick. Not even Harry knew. He said he'd seen you injured but you were nowhere to be found. And then Dumbledore informed us that you were with Sirius of all people. Why would.. I just.. _Mi_ , are you okay?'

She nodded absently, clutching onto him tighter, 'I am okay, Rab.. I feel so tired and worn out.'

He sighed loudly, putting her down and patting her back. 'The night is not yet over for you, sister. Regulus has a message for you. He says it is important. He will be coming by in a few hours. He said he needed to do something important before he came. I figured it would pertain to Harry as well. I called him over. I suppose it is long past since we kept him from Regulus.'

_The locket_ , she gasped.

* * *

 

He knew he couldn't be sure. There were no guarantees in a war. No failsafes. But it felt right. It felt so right after all the years his heart had battled against his mind. He knew he could be making the biggest mistake of his life if she indeed was loyal to Voldemort but something told him she wasn't. She couldn't be. If she was she'd already have slit his throat.

The previous night was vividly painted against his eyes. They would have lost so much more if not for Dumbledore who had finally arrived and reined in the situation making Lucius order his men to retreat. He had seen the concern in Dumbledore's eyes as he had whisked her away from the broken down Alley. He had seen as Dumbledore had assessed the damage and urged Sirius to leave. He had seen the hurt flicker across his eyes as he had carried the man named Harry away.

He was sure he hadn't imagined any of it. And so he let her go. With his heart clenched in icicles if pain and sorrow, he watched her spin away into nothingness, the secret of her goodness and purity stored away in the deepest crevices of his mind.

He stepped out into the darknening Muggle street once she had left. He wished he could tell James and the others about her. But he knew he must keep it to himself for now. Even having Lily in on the secret meant gambling with Hermione's safety but it was something that couldn't have been avoided.

He rubbed his hands together, an age old ache retiring from his heart. He never knew the weight that had settled inside when he had first seen her look at him with ice in her eyes. He had never felt in unravel. He only remembered that one day it had reared in and this night it had rushed away, leaving him asunder in his thoughts.

He couldn't tell when the war would come to an end but when it did he knew the first thing he would do would be to beg her forgiveness for he truly hated himself for how easily he had given up on her. He had never once stopped to question the nature of his reality. He had never even imagined he was wrong. He had so blindly believed the lies she had spun for him. He had let her walk away.

But never again.

He would beg and beg even though he knew he didn't deserve her forgiveness. He would spend the rest of his life trying to make up for his betrayal.

The silence of the night was broken by a pair of footsteps that fell behind him. Sirius whipped out his wand, turning around to find yet another surprise.

'Brother,' Reggie nodded in greeting.

'How did you find me?'

'You were never hidden,' he mumbled. 'Never from me.'

Sirius frowned, lowering his wand. 'Why have you come?'

'To beg forgiveness if you may find it inside you,' Reggie said, his eyes downcast and his shoulders hunched.

Sirius was at a loss for words.

'I have regrets. So many of them,' he whispered. 'I may not make it through this war. I may not make it through the night. But I.. I want you to know that I am sorry. I am sorry for all the pain I brought you. I am sorry I was never the brother you wanted. I am sorry I was too soft..,' his voice broke, 'too weak to leave when you asked me to.'

Sirius let his hand fall numbly at his side.

'It was hell enduring the family without you. It only made it worse that every day I felt myself becoming less and less like the brother I had always looked up to. I want you to know.. no, I _need_ you to know that I, I love you. I always have.'

Sirius felt tears prick his eyes. 'Reggie.. _no_ , it wasn't your fault. I _failed_. I failed to keep you safe. I left you alone like a coward would.'

He shook his head vehemently. 'No. Sirius. No. I asked to be a Slytherin. I lived through the .. horror after you'd been sorted with the lions. They were furious. I wasn't even fed most nights. They terrified me. Mother gave me such harsh lessons which always ended with the Cruciatus. I asked to be a Slytherin and it led me here,' he bared his arm to show him the Dark Mark branded onto his skin. 'It led me to this atrocity. If it hadn't been for Hermione I'd have lost my way entirely. She held onto me when nobody else did. I have a lot to thank her for but nothing more than this. She let me be myself. She let me be true to myself. And it is only because of her that I can find the courage to beg you for forgiveness today.' A tear slid down his pale cheek. 'Please, Sirius, please forgive me.'

Sirius smiled through his own tears, wrapping his arms around his little brother. 'You are my family. Braver than any Gryffindor there ever was. I love you, Reggie.'

Reggie swallowed a sob, hating the weight of the knowledge of a forlorn cave that rested within his mind.


	59. Chapter 59

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

_Reggie's tiny legs dangled over the tree branch, his head tilted backwards, his rosy skin basking in the setting sun. A warm smile lit up his face as he heard the birds chirping about him, their golden plumule glittering in the orange sky._

_'It's a wonderful day,' Reggie muttered under his breath, his voice hushed._

_'A shame we were stuck inside all day with Mother,' Sirius complained, his eight year old mind agitated even by the thought of the haughty woman as his fingers carved gracefully into a tiny piece of wood._

_Reggie sighed, pulling his feet up to his chin, never once afraid of falling down. He eyed the daunting house behind him, away from the rolling waves of the English channel. 'I don't want to go back,' he murmured, tears glistening in his eyes._

_Sirius frowned, halting in his little job and pocketing the piece of wood. He got up from his place on the shore and climbed up the tree his brother sat on, his feet scurrying up the footfalls in the bark. He nudged him aside, his hands tender and careful of their precarious position._

_'It may not be exactly happy in there,' Sirius said, 'but it is what it is, Reggie. We just have to make the best of it.'_

_'A holiday is supposed to be fun.'_

_'I know, champ. One day,' Sirius grinned, 'when we're all grown up and handsome young men, I will take you on a real holiday. We'll be a proper family then, I'm sure.'_

_'Away from Mother and her ways?'_

_Sirius smiled sadly. 'Far, far away in a world where we have no names.'_

_Reggie shrugged. 'That's not possible. Everyone has to have a name.'_

_Sirius broke out in a ruckus laughter. 'We don't always have to follow the rules.' He held up his palm absently against the dying sun, closing his eyes and breathing in softly. He sighed contentedly as he called onto the wind and it answered in a shy glance that ruffled through Reggie's hair, showering onto him tiny drops of water it carried from the mighty seas._

_Reggie laughed, his eyes dancing merrily. 'I wish I could do magic too. How much longer, Sirius?'_

_'All in good time, kid brother,' Sirius said sagely._

_'Will I ever be as good as you? Not even the kids at Hogwarts could do what you just did.'_

_Sirius looked at him the way most older siblings do, with an air of importance and significance that spoke of how they know a lot many things they're not supposed to. 'Oh, you know how magic is vastly unrestrained when you're without a wand. The moment you begin your training it begins to accumulate into this tiny little ball kind of a thing.'_

_Reggie smiled wide, clapping his hands with enthusiasm, his eyes alight with childlike glee. 'I want to be a great wizard someday. Just like you, Sirius. I want to call the wind and play with fire. I want to be worthy of stories spun by an ageless bard so they remember me long after I'm gone.'_

_Sirius chuckled, putting an arm around Reggie's shoulders. 'That's not a worry for anytime soon.'_

_As the wind picked up and the sun hid behind the horizons, lulling the world into violet hues, Reggie jumped down the tree, cupping his hands and calling for Sirius to do the same._

_The two skipped hand in hand, their feet sending sand spiralling up as they ran, a blur of limbs and dark hair._

_Sirius stooped down to run his hands through the cold water as the jewel blue waves rose and fell, dancing inwards towards the tiny pebbles lining the shore, the cold caress of the breeze whipping around his hair._

_Reggie, too, sat down to feel the water lapping at his bare feet, clumps of seaweed washing up the shore occasionally. He leaned his head against Sirius, looking upwards as the nightsky began to slowly come alive, the millions of stars lighting up like fireworks. 'Tell me again how even the stars bent to our will and took on after our names?'_

_Sirius smiled lightly, his heart touched by the innocence his little brother still held onto so tightly. It was inctedible, really. Every word he said was a gospel of truth written in stone for Reggie. Such was his faith in him._

_'Well, the really great constellation of the Lion, right there,' he pointed out with his fingers, 'thought it would name its finest and the mightiest warrior after the King of our own little Dreamland. Thus it was that Leo decided his most trusted general would come to be known as Regulus.'_

_Reggie threw his hands into the air, whooping in joy. 'Tell me about your star! Come on, Sirius!'_

_'Yours is the only one that matters,' Sirius shrugged nonchalantly._

_'No! I shine brighter in my own little knot of stars. But you, brother,' he wrapped his arms around Sirius from behind him, climbing onto his back, 'are the brightest in the whole wide sky. I bet even the Gods will envy the glory that you will bask in the day you have bested the monsters that hide underneath. You took from them their abode, their heaven and decided to be the fairest of all.'_

_Sirius laughed, shaking his head fondly. 'You would have us feasting on ambrosia like the Gods, Reggie?'_

_Reggie pulled back, spreading his arms apart in a grand gesture. 'We are the children of the Cosmos!'_

_'Luminous beings,' Sirius chorused. 'Two pieces of a whole tethered together across the Universe!'_

_The two brothers whiled away the time laughing and singing into the silence, both of them suddenly a million miles away from the madness that clung close to the older Blacks inside the grand cottage a few yards behind._

_'The world where we will have no names?' Reggie prompted._

_'Yeah?'_

_'Will we finally get to find where the rainbow ends?'_

_Sirius grinned at the memory of when they had spent the afternoon chasing the tail of a rainbow. 'The end of the rainbow where the gold amasses. We will fight rebels and pirates and bring about peace in Dreamland after we reclaim our throne.'_

_'How long, Sirius?' Reggie asked, his eyes dropping to the red gash across his forearm._

_Sirius' jaw tightened. He took his brother's hand in his, his touch gentle. He fished around his pockets and brought out the piece of wood he had been working on. He dropped it carefully in Reggie's tiny fist._

_Reggie cocked his head to the side as his eyes gazed at the tiny letters Sirius had engraved onto the rich wood. S and R. Two letters beautiful canvassed by glimmering stars on the sides._

_Sirius picked the trinket up and fingered the leather hand that had the little piece dangling onto its middle. He tied it round Reggie's back, his fingers slow and careful._

_'Until the day we find our own little dimension,' Sirius whispered._

_'Until the day we find the door to our Dreamland,' Reggie confirmed._

_'Until the day they need songs to remember us.' Sirius touched the two letters with love in his eyes. 'Unending like the moonlight.'_

_Reggie offered his pink fingers to Sirius who latched onto them without a second of doubt, holding the firm and bold. 'We will never be alone.'_

_Sirius nodded. 'Not when we have each other.'_

_A sharp screeching broke the magic that hung around the two boys, splintering the tranquil quiet. 'Sirius! Regulus! Inside, this instant!'_

_Reggie groaned softly, his brows scrunched in fear and anxiety._

_Sirius felt his heartstrings tug._ _He helped Reggie get up on his feet, pulling him along to where their mother stood proud and tall, her wand pointing menacingly at them._

_Sirius' feet carried him of their own accord such that his body hid that of his little brother's behind him. 'I am going to take care of you, okay? That's my job, Reggie.'_

* * *

 

Harry let out a faint gasp as his eyes settled upon the imposing figure that Regulus made. He looked just like his brother did with the same pale, long fingers that were currently fiddling with something held around his neck. His hair was the same luminous black as that of Sirius but whereas Sirius'current hair was short Regulus' was styled upto his shoulders. Harry idly wondered if perhaps Sirius had grown his hair out in remembrance of his little brother.

He noticed how most different of all were Regulus' eyes. They were stormier and icier than Sirius', more mature and more tired.

Rab placed a hand on Reggie's shoulder, alerting him to Harry's presence.

Reggie startled, his hands dropping whatever he had been holding so reverently a moment ago. His eyes sought Harry's, his face momentarily stunned at the uncanny semblance the raven haired man bore to his brother's best friend.

'Henry Oakswood,' Harry held out his hand, his voice just the tiniest amount of shaky at seeing the man who had originally set the wheels in motion for Voldemort's demise. 'You may call me Harry.'

Reggie nodded, a courtesy smile playing on his lips. 'Pleased to make your acquaintance, Harry. I am Regulus of the House of Black.'

Harry turned to look at Rab, his mind still replaying the events from the previous night, worry for Hermione apparent in his gaze. 'Where's Mione? I thought she would be back by now.'

Rab sighed. 'She is upstairs washing up. She will be here shortly, I imagine. Perhaps in the meantime we should..'

Whatever Rab was about suggest was swallowed up by the jubilant cry of glee Harry let out at seeing Hermione safe and sound. Hermione flung herself into his arms, her hand reaching out to touch the base of his neck, checking for his injuries.

'You're okay,' she mumbled, relieved.

Harry grinned. 'So are you.'

She chuckled and let go of him almost unwittingly. She moved to stand beside Reggie, squeezing his hands to reassure him.

Reggie smiled at her gratefully. 'I am glad to see you fared well. Rab tells me Sirius knows of your.. predicament.'

'He does. It remains to be seen what he does with the knowledge.'

'At least you can reach out to him now whenever you want,' he said. 'There is no reason for him to shun you anymore.'

'I would not mind if you decided to pluck a leaf out of his book and keep him at an arm's length' Rab muttered darkly. 'The prat doesn't deserve your kindness. He turned you away in a time you needed him most.'

Hermione shrugged tiredly and went to sit beside Harry on the divan. 'It doesn't matter. We're here for something far more important, I believe.' She looked at Reggie expectantly.

Reggie heaved a deep sigh, rubbing his hand against his beard. He looked timidly at Harry, a little ounce of suspicion in his gaze.

'Don't worry. He's one of us,' Rab claimed. 'He's the best of us.'

'It's alright,' Harry muttered. 'I understand why you would hesitate. I head the Resistance and have been working against Voldemort closely with Hermione for a lot many years now.'

Reggie cast another wary glance at him. He exhaled heavily. 'I have had my doubts for sometime now. I have suspected Voldemort to have gone to extreme lengths so as to ascertain his dominance on the world. He aims for immortality. It took me a long time but I finally figured it out. He's created a horcrux which now rests in a cave in an unplottable location.'

'You are correct in your assumptions,' Harry nodded. 'He has a total of five horcruxes at the moment, three of which have already been acquired by myself and Hermione.'

Reggie gasped in surprise and looked at Hermione with raised brows. 'You knew all this time?'

Hermione sighed. 'Yes, I did. I have known for quite some time now. Salazar's locket will be our fourth after which only Riddle's diary remains.'

Reggie gathered his wits about himself. He sat down tiredly into an armchair, his hands resting in his lap, coiled together. 'The bastard took my house elf, Kreacher, with him and left him there to die after he had served his purpose.'

Hermione rubbed her hands against his back, kneading the knots of tension he harboured. 'When did this happen, Reggie? Has he been given the requisite treatment?'

'All of this occured a fortnight ago,' Reggie answered. 'He's fine at the moment but terrified. There was a potion Voldemort forced him to take which left him crippled with pain.

Rab shook his head disparagingly. 'How in the world could the poor elf have ever escaped?'

Hermione chuckled darkly. 'Voldemort never ceases to question the abilities of those he considers lesser beings than him. It will always be his downfall. He failed to account for elvish magic.'

Reggie frowned. 'That was an intelligent guess.'

Hermione shrugged. She turned to Harry. 'When do we go collect it?'

'I suppose there's no need to wait,' Harry snorted. 'When have our plans ever worked out?'

Rab made an odd noise at the back of his throat. 'You cannot just go in wands blazing and expecting the worst.'

Hermione smiled timidly. 'In our case weeks of plotting have only ever led to messups.'

Reggie cleared his throat. 'Nobody is going anywhere. I started this mess. I willingly obliged him with an house elf the moment he asked. This is on me. I shall be the one to acquire the horcrux and destroy it.'

'You can't just put it on fire,' Harry said.

'And that is why I have to make the impossible journey back so I can destroy it using basilisk venom or perhaps Fiendfyre.'

'Hold on,' Hermione said. 'You're getting ahead of yourself, Reggie. You are not going to that cave. We are.'

Rab yelled, 'No! Not again! You can't keep risking your lives.'

'Well, forgive me but we're at war.'

'Let me go. I am the oldest here.'

'With no prior knowledge,' Harry said. Before Reggie too could launch into a tirade Harry raised his arms to placate the surrounding party. 'Are you aware, Regulus, that the potion will render you weak and immobile of your faculties in a matter of less than five minutes or are you willing to put your house elf to similar torture yet again?'

Reggie shut his mouth. 'Of course not. Kreacher will help me take there and then I will ask him to leave.'

'But that is not where it ends, Reggie,' Hermione whispered. 'You will have only taken a couple of sips and you will be begging to stop already. You will therefore have to make Kreacher force you to finish the potion. And then when you're done you will feel a thirst that will threaten to explode you if not quenched immediately but there will be no water. You will rush to the lake to help yourself and that is when the biggest of the threats will be revealed to you.' She looked at him sharply. 'Voldemort's Inferi.'

Rab gasped. 'You're certain? How is this.. No, even Voldemort can't go to such lengths.'

Harry cleared his throat. 'You make a mistake when you think of him as a man. He's nothing short of a monster and for somebody as vile and cruel like Voldemort, the Inferi won't be the worst thing that could happen.'

'But how could you possibly know that?' Reggie asked.

'It's a long story and there's hardly any time for it now,' Hermione sighed.

Rab plopped down against the wall, the goblet of wine in his hands falling onto the floor, the red liquid drenching the carpet whole. 'When somebody you love is out there doing God knows what.. a night that could potentially end with their death.. it feels like you cannot.. I.. Mi, I cannot breathe when you make such outgambles with your life. It hurts every time I see you walk out that door. It hurts every damn day.'

Hermione's eyes dropped in shame. She kneeled in front of her brother, threading her fingers with his. 'I have done this before, you know? It will be alright.' She smiled wryly, 'Harry and I will make it out alive.'

'I never said I wasn't going,' Reggie pointed out. He chuckled, 'Or are you willing to let me be the collateral damage?'

Harry tugged at his hair in frustration. 'It will be the most dangerous thing you will ever do.'

'Then I am ready for it,' Reggie declared.

'We will need Kreacher to Apparate us inside,' Harry said. 'The boat carries only a single wizard of age and it is phsyically impossible for us to Apparate inside the cave ourselves given the extremely complex enchantments Voldemort has placed around the hideout.'

'That shouldn't be a problem,' Reggie said. 'Kreacher!'

Reggie's call was answered immediately as a familiar elf materialised, his bloodshed eyes quivering with fear still and his stout nose hidden by the many folds of his skin.

Kreacher bowed low. 'Master Regulus?' His voice held a strange tremor which Harry had never before heard. It was possibly the effects of the horcrux the elf was still reeling from.

Reggie's face looked pained, his skin paler than usual. He bent down to look Kreacher in the eyes, his hands resting reassuringly over his shoulders. 'Kreacher, I know it must trouble you incredibly but I must ask you to take me to the cave the Dark Lord has been using to hide the locket. Will you help my and my friends?'

Kreacher's tiny body trembled in fear, a ghost of a grimace apparent on his face. 'Master is to.. to be pleased. Kreacher is helping Master no matter what,' he murmured.

Reggie looked past Kreacher's eyes to look at Harry and Hermione standing side by aide. He nodded almost imperceptibly at the pair and stood up.

Hermione summoned two waterskins from the kitchen, hoping they would last.

Kreacher held out a fumbling hand to Regulus and another to Harry.

Hermione hugged Rab, murmuring softly into his ears, unable to look into his pained eyes, 'I will come back. We will come back.'

She spared him a parting glance, her own eyes tearing up at seeing the grief in his, before latching onto Harry's hand.

'You lot take care of each other,' Rab called out, his voice firm. 'I want each one of you back under my roof all safe and sound, you hear me?'

Harry smiled at him as Reggie waved his hand in farewell. He squeezed Hermione's fingers as he felt the familiar pull of being whisked away into the abysmal darkness.

He felt an uncomfortable tinge in his back, fear prickling against his mind at the smeff of the tangy sea. The faint aroma of the waves was unlike the one that was meant to cleanse one's soul. The smell emanating in the cave filled him with dread and ignited in him a need to run away, memories from distant past tearing their head in.

He could see the faint outlines of several dead bodies lying the still water of the lake, a tiny boat reeled in over at the far end on the opposite side.

Reggie stepped closer to the crystal white basin in the stark middle of the outrock they stood on, a greenish glow making the dead lake glow in the darkness.

Harry startled as he heard Hermione yelp. 'What is it?'

Hermione cursed softly. 'The waterskins will be no help.' She tipped them to reveal the water had evaporated the moment they had arrived.

Harry shut his eyes in exasperation. 'The odds are never in our favour, are they?'

He could hear Kreacher doubled over somewhere behind him, his tiny hands covering his bulbous eyes.

Reggie sighed before he stepped carefully around the rocks jutting out of the ground, making his way even closer to the basin.

Hermione placed her arm out, effectively stopping Reggie in his tracks. 'No. You wished to accompany us and so you did but this is where your part ends.'

Reggie's brows furrowed. 'I can do this, Harry. Let me.'

'No, let me,' Harry whispered. Before either of the other two could even get to him, Harry sidestepped them, his skin shivering in the cold as his hands wrapped around a tiny cold goblet he conjured out of thin air. He braced himself one last time before he put his lips to the goblet, the greenish liquid burning down his gullet as his brain screamed at him to let go.

He gulped down three full goblets before she felt the pain make him teeter onto the edges of his sanity. He already felt weakened and out of sorts, the aches he felt rising in his mouth gaining control of every thought.

He could vaguely make out the hushed whispers that Hermione and Reggie were talking in, their voices tremulous.

A feminine scream shrieked inside his head, the memory of the pained voice of his mother sending him over the edge. He felt his lungs give out as he gulped down the vile liquid for the sixth time, his head becoming dizzy. He dropped the goblet down, his feet kicking at it and sending it far away.

Must.. end. The pain.. must.. end..

He felt Hermione's hands wrap around his head, her nimble fingers thrusting the cold goblet at him. 'Just a couple more, Harry. I promise. It will be over soon, okay? I promise you.'

His lips spluttered, the liquid wetting the front of his robes. He hated this. He hated his life. He hated himself.

What good was life? What good was this second chance? There was only pain. Nothing but pain.

His mind conceded to the torment as the pain climbed up his abdomen, his breaths becoming shallow. 'Please.. no.. don't make me.. Mione..'

She cooed into his ears. 'Just one more. Come now, Harry. All this struggle for naught? Just one more, come on.'

'Please.. let me go.. I need my .. need my Mum.. don't want this.. please..'

'Hey, mate, we need to finish this,' Reggie whispered. 'We must finish him.' He took the goblet from Hermione's hands, tilting Harry's head back and putting the liquid at his mouth. 'There you go, mate. There you go, yes, right there.'

_Ron. Draco. Ginny._

The delirious agony crippled him.

_I am a walking graveyard._

_Ron. Draco. Ginny. Sirius. Fred. George. Remus. Tonks. Molly. Arthur. Luna. Neville._

How many more? When would his time come? When would Death welcome him?

His body twisted and turned, curling into a primveal position. One last sip and oh, but the pain still remained, his blood an acid, destroying him from inside out.

He could see Hermione grip at the locket, the cold radiating from it to his mind.

Reggie tugged at him, pulling him ahead towards where Kreacher stood.

'Wah.. wah, water.. please..,' Harry begged. 'I need water.. I need.. water..'

'We're almost there. Hold on.'

A searing hot crust of pain lashed across his chest. He groaned out into the briny air. It was funny how the mind worked. In his moment of acute paranoia all Harry could do was remember some forgotten, ancient lines of poetry.

' _There will be rest and sure stars shining.'_

But he had already had more than his fair share of sorrow.

' _A reign of rest and serene forgetting.'_

But the blissful oblivion remained ever evasive.

Hermione, he saw, was already clutching onto the hands of Kreacher, her arm beckoning him forward. Reggie pulled him ahead but Harry felt his legs turn into lead, every step another crushing ache. He stumbled and fell, his knees grazing against the crystals poking out of the rockbed, his feet just shy of the Lake of the Dead.

Harry felt his eyesight blur, his mind floating through a thick static of being and not being, his pounding loudly against his ribcage. He feel Reggie's fingers plucking at his robes, trying to pick him up but all in vain for Harry's mind finally gave in as his feet faltered once again and he felt himself tip away and into the water.

'HARRY!' Hermione cried out, her scream splitting the air with her grief and her sorrow, her soul perishing into the silence.

'Take Hermione and leave!' Harry heard Reggie yell. 'Come back for Harry and I immediately after!'

The numbness in his brain grew dimmer and dimmer as the will to survive revived the fire within, the ends of his nerves frying into consciousness. But whatever wkaing moments of consciousness he found were lost to paranoia.

Ghostly pale fingers grapsed at him, bodies cold beyond frost surrounding him and grabbing him from all sides. He could feel his skin puncture at places more than he could count, his blood seeping out into the black water. He felt a war drum beating against him, his feet paddling up as he forced himself to rise up to the surface. But every action cost him more breaths, his lungs ready to collapse under the pressure, the quiet disconcerting him. His hands splashed against the water but it felt something akin to climbing dangerous terrains of rocks.

He was close to panicking by then, his limbs no longer trying to claw through the cold. He felt hismelf floating along the trill, his mind closed off. He gave in then. Perhaps this was Death answering his calls. Maybe this was his time.

But then.. he couldn't leave Hermione alone. She had followed him into the great abyss and there he was imagining ways to end his life when she had so readily given hers up for his.

Just when he had begun to claw his way out again he felt a warmth spread across his back, a strong arm pulling him up. He breathed in great gulps of air to soothe his patched throat, the freshness of the briny hum distilling away the burning breathlessness.

He looked at Reggie, rleief flooding his face.

Cold arms kept creeping up on him as the Inferi surrounded them, grasping at their clothes and pulling at their feet. Harry fumbled through his robes for his wand, gripping it tight and waving it around, sending flares of light up, making the Inferi scatter away.

'I.. I am going to create some Fiendfyre!' he yelled. 'Keep a lookout.'

Reggie was breathing heavy, his own wand sending out blows against the dead, his eyes distressed at seeing Kreacher trying to fend off the Inferi. He kept inching closer to him, the edge of the rockbed leering ever closer but never scaring him away.

Harry nodded to himself, a snap decision but necessary. At least Hermione was well away from the danger. He felt it as a warm embrace that she was safe.

He cast a great circle about himself, the tip of wand sending great flames of blue and red out into the open, surrounding the cold nimble bodies of the Inferi in a lap of burning warmth. The Inferi screamed of horror, rushing away from the light.

Reggie, too, cast roaring flames that lapped at the creeping bodies, their grotesque feet carrying them away. He had only just pulled Kreacher into the safety net when his robe caught under the outcropping of a crystal, a rabid flame now licking at his bare skin, already singing through the material.

This is it.

He felt tears well up in his eyes as he realised the end had come. He twisted to see Harry still battling through the jumbled limbs, jumping over cracks in the rocks and making his way towards the pair.

A cold arm gripped along his feet, catching hold of the hem of his robes and pulling him over. The flame at the base of his cloak crept higher up, his face feeling the burns clearer than ever.

He felt his weight tip, his feet stumbling over and his feet dangling over the edge.

'Harry..' he cried out.

Harry's eyes bulged out of his sockets at seeing Reggie teetering over the edge of the rockbed. He saw as his feet caved in and his body curved back, his body crashing along the water. He rushed towards him, his arms reaching out for his. He saw as Reggie's stormy eyes bled blue, his fingers fumbling at something around his neck. He felt him place something charred and wooden into his hands.

'For Sirius.. Sirius..,' Reggie whispered, a sad, forlorn smile playing at his lips.

Kreacher yelled in grief, 'Master! MASTER! NO!' He was caught in an uggly middle position, the ghost of his master's last order hanging over his head. He had to protect Harry.

'No, no, no..,' Harry screamed. 'No! Reggie!' His hand almost clutched at Reggie's. He felt his own weight give in as another pale arm circled around Reggie's throat, pulling him deep asunder, the pools of his icy eyes no longer iridescent but only unstaring.

Kreacher howled somewhere behind him but Harry paid him no mind. His own sorrow was palpating with a life of its own, his heart ripped open for the boy who, once again, had been forsaken by his faith.

Kreacher's tiny, shriveled hand gripped his. His body twisted into nothingness, speeding through space and the stars, the ghost of Reggie's smile still unblinking behind Harry's eyes and his mind devoid of all emotions.

_What difference did we ever make?_

_**AN:** _ **I know.. I kinda hate myself too..**


	60. Chapter 60

_**DISCLAIMER** _ _**. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.** _

Harry stumbld on his feet, his vision still blurred and the cold water from his robes dripping wet onto the carpeted floor of the Lestrange cottage, the darkness caving in around him, the tiny flickering golden lights in each corner falling miserably to warm his numb heart.

'Harry! You're alright!' Hermione exclaimed, running into his arms. 'I was so scared, Harry. Good Lord, Merlin, I'm so glad you're safe.'

He shivered, his arms hanging limp beside him, his pale white hand clutching onto the wood that emanated the barest hint of heat into his skin.

Hermione pulled back as Kreacher's wails split the air, her brows dipping into a deep frown, her eyes wide in shock. Her lips parted, her grip on Harry's robes loosening. He froze as her face lost all colour.

She shook her head furiously, her voice the smallest whisper. 'No, no. It can't be.. he can't.. he, no.. he can't be.. it wasn't meant to happen.' Her lips trembled, 'It was supposed to be.. fine. He was meant to live. He was meant to have a second chance. No. No. I don't believe this. He can't..

' _He was meant to live_!' She screamed, hot tears of rage streaming down her cheeks. She cried out, her hair cackling with maddening rage as her lungs billowed out the agony within.

Her screams pierced at Harry's heart, turning it ice cold. His gaze lowered in shame as Rab hurried to wrap his sister in his embrace, her falling form perilously teetering on the edges of madness.

'May.. may the Gods have mercy upon his soul,' Rab whispered, his own eyes tearing up and brimming with unshed tears, a black haired boy so vividly painted against the back of his eyelids.

Harry heard a distinct pop sound somewhere behind him, signalling Kreacher's departure, his sobs still echoing into the room. His weary eyes focused, the dim light illuminating the scene before him. He saw Hermione crumble, her arms flailing around and her legs entangled with those of Rab's, both of them a distraught mess on the floor.

Harry's own eyes welled up, his throat burning as the potion's delirious musings left his mind. All thought of needing water had vanished. His voice cracked, suddenly high pitched and yet hoarse. 'I, I couldn't bring his body back..,' he mumbled apologetically.

Rab looked at him painfully, his attempts at placating the raven haired man drowned out by the wailing woman he had nestled in his lap.

Harry felt perversely scarce, his guilt blinding his rational mind. He was to blame, wasn't he? He was the one to make a mess of things. He was the one who had led Regulus Arcturus Black to his death.

Reggie was gone. He was gone yet again without having seen a day into his adult life, never having felt the bosom of a beloved or the caress of a child. He had left the world, bereaved and lost when he wasn't supposed to.

Hermione let out another chilling scream, her gut wrenching sobs the only sound in the quiet silence of the room, her voice wavering into hysterics every once in a while. Rab struggled to hold her still, his fingers running patterns across her back, his face pressed close against her shoulders.

Every breath Harry took felt hollow, the shadows of his mind creeping in on him. He could feel the guilt take firm roots in his heart, a lonely wraith amassing in a garden of the dead.

He remembered nothing of the night that followed except the ache he felt somewhere deep, deep inside him. Something had pulled him away from the sight of his only remaining family so haunted by what he had done. His feet carried him away from the wreckage, outside into the wilderness that surrounded the cottage, his heart stuttering out quiet apologies out into the open skies.

He had failed himself. He had failed the people he loved. What would Ron be thinking as he looked down at him from wherever he was now?

He had made no difference. He had made Hermione follow him into the uncertainty of the unknown. He had dragged her across the whole wide Universe to reach a semblance of a world he would perhaps never remember. Had he lost everything and everyone just so he could lose them all over again?

Of course he hadn't known Reggie. He had only known the legend of the man who had been the first to brave Voldemort's fury. He had spent months endlessly thinking of him with reverance, a stunned respect for the man who had fought against the very shackles that had drugged him into a state of servitude.

He felt a cold chill overcome him, his wet robes sticking to his body. His weak and weary body dropped down haplessly, his legs giving out as the fight left him altogether.

How long had it been? He couldn't tell. In most ways his entire life had been a never ending battle. Perhaps he never ought to have been born. Maybe be could have saved the world some trouble.

His head bowed in shame as the cowardice of his thoughts registered in his mind. He cursed softly, his voice a broken whisper, a forlorn prayer. He didn't care anymore.

Why did it have to be him?

His mind conjured grotesque images of Reggie's lifeless body floating along the surface of the lake, just another one of the Inferi. No longer a brave soldier. Just another flimsy, little puppet, forever adrift and lost. He would have no grave. He would have no resting place. He would just be.. gone..

His fingers absently grazed against the carved letters into the wood held in place by a strand of tight leather.

_S and R,_ it said.

A wave of grief overcame Harry as he imagined the younger version of his Godfather break down into a heap of limbs when he would find out the truth of his brother's life, his body bent double as tremors of misery overshadowed each conscious thought, his innocent grey eyes peeking helplessly at his chosen brothers but none ever counting up to the little boy he had kissed every night before bed.

Harry wiped at his eyes angrily. He was at fault. He was always, always at fault. He never stopped, did he? Not in his own world and not in this. He was a curse. He was poison and he had no right to be grieving.

' _No right,'_ he spat venomously, his voice a strange absurdity in the cancerous silence.

He spent hours slipping between the realms of sleep and wakefulness as the velvety night sky turned into the orange shades of the breaking dawn. Every time his head dropped to the side he found reality crashing in on him, the gaunt face of the younger Black forever etched in his mind.

So many lives had been lost for his safety in his previous life. Was this just the beginning of a similar fate? His chest throbbed at the thought but he felt no pity for himself. He had to bear the pain. He would bear it because the dead deserved it.

He felt a warm hand on his back, as a sudden weight buried itself against his side, an arm wrapping around him snugly. Harry didn't have to look up to know who it was. He could feel it in his bones.

'I bet you can't bear the sight of me anymore, Rab,' he mumbled, his eyes staring blankly at the tiny bird hopping on its feet in the distance.

Rab took in a sharp breath. 'Is that what you think?'

Harry's gaze dropped.

'I made a vow to you the day I took you in,' Rab said, his voice stern but not unkind. 'You're no less precious to me than Mi is. You're my brother from this day to my last, Harry. Don't you dare insult me by ever thinking otherwise.'

Harry felt tears trickle down his cheeks, a sob rising up his throat. He leaned into Rab's chest, a childish need to be held close rearing its way up.

'Maybe if I had been stronger, quicker or braver, he might have made it,' Harry cried out, not one memory of being held so tenderly by a parent or a loved one finding its way in his mind.

'You were all those things and more.' Rab patted him tiredly. 'You were all those things, you hear me?'

'Then why did he have to die?' He yelled. 'Again?'

Rab sighed. 'Who can tell how Death works, mate? It never stops. It is always fair.'

'That doesn't make it better.'

'I know,' Rab whispered, chuckling darkly. 'It never does. But I know you will make it, the both of you. You and Mi will make it to the end. You will win this war and you will see your family live. You will make it.'

Harry fell silent, his breathing once again becoming even and level. He rose his head, dusting his robes and getting up on his feet. He ran a tired hand through his hair, his eyes squinting at the rising sun.

Thoughts of Hermione's well being invaded his mind and yet he remained quiet. He didn't deserve to know.

'It's late,' he said absently. 'I should probably leave.'

Rab frowned, the sight of Harry's bloodshot eyes and his splotchy face tugging at his heartstrings. 'Why aren't you with her, Harry?' He paused. 'She is your family. She is your sister.'

Harry visibly flinched at the accusation. 'I am doing her a favour by staying away.'

Rab shook his head. 'And how could it possibly be a favour?'

'She cared immensely for Regulus and I led him to his death.'

Rab smiled timidly. 'All these years. How long has it been? Two decades perhaps? Close to it? And you still doubt the intensity of her feelings for you. She could never turn you away, Harry. She loves you too much to even think about it.'

Harry shrugged helplessly, 'It would do her well to not see me for a while. Besides, she has you now.'

Rab's brows rose up into his hair. 'What I have with Hermione is undoubtedly profound and true. But your love for her and hers for you? It transcends time. It stood the test of Death itself and yet you think someone else could ever replace what you are to her? Nobody, myself included, could even come close.' He shook his head and breathed out deeply, looking away. 'You are not going anywhere. You are coming with me.'

Harry sighed and grudgingly followed Rab into the house, his shoulders slumped and his head punding with pain, a crisp, cool wind badgering against his face.

Harry let himself in, tumbling into the living room as he watched Rab ascend the stairs and disappear from sight. He dragged himself over to the mahogany table in the centre, his hands working their way to a clear bottle with pale yellow liquor inside. He twisted out the cork and took a speculative sip, his face turning into a sour expression as he shuddered. He added a long pour to one of the empty goblets, picking it up and swirling its insides with disinterest.

'Come on up now,' Rab called out.

Harry shut his eyes tight, feeling the liquid warm his body from the inside. He took a deep breath and followed, going up the stairs, one step at a time. He swallowed a gulp of air as Rab hinged the door to Hermione's bedroom open.

Harry nodded at him absently, his feet taking him inside, the wooden floor creaking underneath his weight. The door slammed shut, leaving Harry alone to douse through the silence and towards Hermione, burrowed deep into linen sheets, her brown eyes intent upon Harry's.

He made an attempt at a smile which turned out to be nothing short of a grimace.

Hermione chuckled sadly, propping herself up against the pillows, her piteously red rimmed eyes hollow. She outstretched her arm, beckoning him towards herself.

Harry berated himself for his ignorance. Hermione could never hate him. She was his touchstone. His only surviving family. Of course she needed him the way he needed her.

He cursed his morbid thoughts and made a run for her, his arms enveloping her in a tight embrace, the warmth of her breaths fanning across his neck a pleasant change.

He pulled back slightly, straightening himself and climbing into the bed beside her, throwing off his boots to the side.

'I would like to believe he's in a better place,' Hermione murmured. 'I hope he is at peace.'

Harry bowed his head. 'I am so sorry, Hermione. I can understand how terribly hard it must be for you to forgive me but I swear I never..'

'Hush,' she said calmly, her fingers touching his mouth lightly. 'It wasn't your fault. He.. he died long before he should have but it was not your fault.'

Harry nodded numbly, guilt weighing in on him.

They leant their heads against each other's in communion, their arms gripping tight.

'Sometimes I wonder if it even matters that we came back,' she said, shrugging her shoulders sadly. 'Marlene's family died. Reggie is gone too. Who is to say that perhaps we're in the wrong trying to steal away from Death his rightful children?'

'I'd like to think they're morbid coincidences,' Harry offered, his own mind plagued by similar fears.

'Every action has a consequence. You reckon whatever Gods there are are dismayed at the unnatural nature of what we have done?'

'You have to stop thinking about all this, Mione. It isn't going to help relieve you of any pain. Might as well accept what the fates have in plan for us.'

She sighed. 'I feel wretched.'

'I know,' Harry mumbled, his fingers fiddling with hers. 'He was so, so brave. He saved me. He saved my life.'

'And in doing so he saved the world,' she smiled wryly.

'I wish it didn't have to be this way,' Harry wiped away the tears in his eyes. 'I wish he didn't have to go.'

Hermione's voice cracked. 'I can't stop imagining his face. I can't believe he's never going to show up again. He's left us. He's never, never coming back.'

Harry threaded his fingers through her unruly curls, their breaths mingling as they sobbed quietly.

'He was a wonderful friend,' she said. 'The best. The bravest.'

'Another face to look for in the afterlife,' Harry whispered morosely.

'I have seen almost everybody I loved ripped away from me. I have seen the light leave their eyes and I have felt the pain they leave behind. And yet every other one of them..,' she sighed. 'His death is a grave wound across my heart, Harry. I will never see him again.

'I remember him when he was a child. Always so lively. He hated his mother. His home. But the devotion he had for Sirius was awe inspiring. I have never seen somebody so loyal to another soul. And now when I think of how he parted from his brother..'

Harry patted her back, rubbing soothing circles against it.

'He was weighed down by things he ought never have seen and yet he fared so well. He never complained. He never cursed his life. To think what's happened to his.. body.' She felt another hot trail being left behind on her cheeks. 'I miss him..'

'He deserved a lot better,' Harry murmured. 'He was dealt a rough hand.'

She sniffed. 'I am so tired of losing, Harry. We have lost so much. I am just so, so tired. Please make it stop,' she begged, burrowing closer into his chest.

'And how exactly do I do that, Mione? I am grasping at the edges here. I haven't the slightest idea about what to do. Most days I feel like dying,' he said flatly.

She gasped in horror. 'And what would be left of my world without you?'

Harry smiled through his tears, his forehead touching hers gently.

He bit his lip, the muscles of his back suddenly tensed. He wished to tell her, he really did. It was almost at the tip of his tongue and yet as he saw her tears glistening against her pale skin he couldn't quite bring himself to plough on her even more of grief. He would shelter her from the pain for as long as he could and rue the day she finally discovered the secret he kept hidden. It hurt him immensely to be hiding something from his best friend but he held his tongue, his courage once again failing him.

_**AN:**_ **Hey, you guys. Thank you so much for the response you've shown to this story. I couldn't be happier with the audience I have here. Each one of you is so incredibly vital to the development of this fic. I know it has taken a rather desolete turn with Regulus' death but it was always going to be this way and I sincerely apologize for it. But I suppose it is what it is..**

**I just wanted to let you guys know that the updates are going to be slower since my holidays are now over and I have to get back to my studies. I will be updating weekly and sometimes maybe even fortnightly. But rest assured I will NOT abandon this story no matter what. It will be finished.**

**Once** **again, thank you so much :-)**


	61. Chapter 61

_**DISCLAIMER** _ _**. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.** _

Hermione blinked twice at seeing her reflection in the mirror. Surely, it couldn't have been that long since she had a clear look at herself but for whatever it was worth the woman who stared back at her was nothing close to the girl she remembered.

The pale skin of her face with the harrowing black circles beneath her lackluster brown eyes, devoid of their chocolate depths, marred against the bright silver of the ornately designed mirror. Her hair that had once hung in loose ringlets was now nothing more than a mess of worn down mane.

But the one thing that disturbed her most of all was how the rage had so quietly vanished from her eyes like a flame that had suddenly been doused. Her eyes were colder than they had ever been before, stripped of all emotions remotely humane.

She knew it was a long time coming. The war she had fought alongside her comrades, her true family, in a life long past was when it had begun. Her forces had only been drained further when she had been thrown into the middle of an even dangerous game of deception and subterfuge. And now the long months after Reggie's death only added to the pulsating hollowness within.

She sighed, her breath fanning out against the silver, mist foaming over the screen as the harsh winter threatened to envelope her whole, her naked body feeling its ruthlessly cold clutches.

Her nimble fingers went behind her, brushing away the limp hair to the side. She twisted her body to a slight left, her eyes trained over the nape of her neck, the glittering black writing on it stark against the white of her skin, the mere presence of the lettering glaring at her stance as if beckoning her for a rebuke.

She shut her eyes to its sight only to her mind's defences being prodded at by memories she so strongly yearned to be rid of. Flashes of cruel hands burned against the back of her eyes, the pain of a jarring wandtip flaring inside her as a maddened witch cackled somewhere in the crevices of her mind, the smell of gallons of spilled muggle blood so tangible she could almost feel herself drowning in it.

Hermione visibly flinched as she opened her eyes, bringing herself back to the strange reality she had slowly grown accustomed to. She waved her wand mechanically, hiding all the scars that littered her body. She wiped away the remains of the tears pooling in her eyes before she draped a clean, white towel around herself.

Stepping outside the bathroom, she shivered, the tiny window in her bedroom in Harry's flat painting for her a beautiful landscape covered in snow. She had gotten used to switching between Harry's residence and Rab's. It was almost second nature to her these days. It was a strange comfort of having roots in two places in a world that kept reminding her she didn't belong.

Hermione let the towel slip down her legs as she fingered the delicately spun woollen robes laid out on her bed. She donned the her clothes quick enough, tying her hair absent into a low hanging bun.

She snorted at how perfectly aristocratic she looked. Years and years of such pretences and she still couldn't come to truly fit in the great game.

Strapping her wand inside the leather sleeves of her bodice, she stepped out into the living room. She shuffled over to the kitchen, finding harry seated in a comfortable rocking chair in the corner, poring over the morning newspaper.

'Good morning, Hermione,' he mumbled. 'Sleep well?'

'Sleep is a luxury for the lucky ones,' she said flippantly.

'And we sadly happen to have the most rotten of luck,' he smirked. 'There's some tea still left over. I suppose you'll find it's still warm. Even if it's not it isn't anything a simple charm won't fix.'

Hermione nodded, grateful for his thoughtfulness.

'You really must rest. The duality of your life seems to be finally catching up with you, it seems. All this fatigue might make you slip someday, Mione,' he said, his voice tinged with worry.

She raised a brow, her hand grasping the kettle on the stove. She poured some of the warm liquid in one of the mugs before moving to settle in one of the chairs beside the table.

'Maybe it will be a great relief for us all,' she snapped. 'It would be an end to quite a miserable existence.'

Harry sighed loudly, getting up to prop himself onto the table before her. 'You don't mean that.'

Hermione looked away.

'The entire world would burn and crumble if not for the last few of us who are still fighting,' he reminded her gently.

Her shoulders slumped. 'You're right that I need my sleep,' she smiled. 'It really is catching up if I've resorted to such cynicism.'

Harry nodded. 'Happens to the best of us,' he patted her back before pouring some more tea in her mug and adding a couple of sugar cubes, doling out a few biscuits onto a plate for her on the side. 'Though of course, its a surprise it's been going on for this long. We're into 1980 now. I suppose I had it figured we'd be somehow done by now.'

'I know,' she murmured, breathing in the warm vapours steaming over her mug. 'If not over, I had thought we'd have achieved a lot more.'

'People are beginning to lose hope,' he remarked somberly, with a slight hint of resignation in his voice. 'Can't say I blame them.' He scratched at his face, the rubble of a slight beard forming at the base.

'You have held out a long time, Harry,' she pointed out, her hand resting on his. 'It's been a long and wary journey but we've made it this far. What's a couple more years?'

Harry laughed dryly. 'A couple more years are bound to turn my hair all white, I bet.'

Hermione sipped her tea quietly for a while, pondering. Her gaze followed Harry's swift movements in the kitchen, his Muggle cooking helping him make her a hearty breakfast.

She never ceased to feel the gut wrenching sob rise in her throat every time Harry joked about his time with Dursleys paying off.

Hermione sniffed, silently walking over to the sink and washing away the grime off of her mug under the flowing water. It was the strangest thing in the world how something so mundane as a house chore could ground you so subtly.

She used a towel to dry each utensil she had scrubbed at and rinsed, some of her hair falling in her eyes. She piled the plates onto a side and left her mug overturned at the counter before leaning back into it, once again letting her attention focus on Harry.

'Ron will be born next month,' she said wistfully.

Harry froze. His movements stilled as his muscles tensed. He barely nodded before gathering his wits about him and flipping over the omelette he currently had cooking over the flame. 'I could never before imagine life without him and look at us managing just fine.'

'Exactly. We're managing just fine.' She sighed. 'We're not happy,' she whispered.

Harry grunted a noncommittal nod.

'Narcissa is pregnant too,' she said. 'Just a few months in, I believe. Lucius was the happiest man when he found out, I remember.'

'I am sure he was,' Harry shook his head sadly. 'If only be had held onto his love long enough to protect his family. Nevertheless such musings can hardly be shared amongst a pair of friends as old as time itself,' he chuckled, 'before they're duly fed.'

Hermione made a face, grumbling at his attempts of using their friendship to make her eat. Harry never stopped fussing over her. Not that he could be blamed. Even Rab had grown increasingly worried over her depleting will to eat.

She let out a soft breath as she once again lowered herself into a chair, watching Harry bring out a set of crockery using his wand, carefully placing the vegetables and the omelettes onto the plates.

'Eat,' he said, stern, watching her eyeing her food with distaste. 'Stop complaining and eat, Miss Granger. A girl needs her eggs like she needs her wand.'

Hermione chuckled as she bit into the food, her hand raised in a mock salute toward Harry.

Harry smiled as she chewed, each carefully bite a huge step up from her starvation of herself. He was only just about to tousle her hair fondly in an attempt to annoy her when he saw her cringe and clasp a hand over her forearm.

Hermione yelped. I suppose I must leave now. It seems my prowess is needed' she said darkly, before shuffling away silently into the living room again.

Harry cursed at his luck. 'I am taking you out tonight. For some proper food. You've gotten awfully scrawny.'

'Nothing is going to take my mind off what's going to come next, Harry,' she chided him gently.

He nodded, his hands falling limp at his side. He followed her to the living room, leaning against the doorframe. He opened his mouth, once again asking the question he had been repeating for the last six months or so now.

'They still think he's just missing?'

Hermione let out a sharp exhale, caught surprised even when she knew it was coming. 'Walburga's been drawing attention. Her grief is unparalleled. The Black Heir is sorely missed. Sirius remains unaware,' she recited with no emotion in her voice.

She looked at him one last time before spinning away into the darkness and landing in the lands of the Lestrange Manor, glad to be a part of the family which helped her avoid the hassle of walking up a three mile long path to the doors to the mansion.

She hung her cloak with deft fingers, her brows pulled into a deep frown as she heard blood curdling screams reach her ears. It was not quite unusual for her to find a scene as harrowing as this but something about this struck a cord inside her.

Her feet carried her to the dungeons below. She squinted in the dim light to see Bellatrix hunched over a beaten body, the face of the bleeding man obscured and hidden. His neck had a thick metal hoop restricting it. A collar tied to which was a leather leash.

Something about the man was so hauntingly familiar. The voice was too close to.. home. It was too close to her heart.

Hermione wanted to bend over and empty her stomach of all its contents, sickened by the sight before her.

Hermione bowed low before falling down to kiss the hem of Voldemort's robes.

'Ah, Miss Lestrange,' he whispered, his red eyes glinting in the black surrounding him. 'You shall find you will enjoy this evening's .. gathering to your tastes.'

'My Lord?' Her eyes drifted along the entire hall, seeking out only the Lestranges and the Malfoys in sight.

'We have acquired a most useful asset, my love,' he waved his pale hand toward the man writhing on the floor, his screams punctuating the silence. 'It has come to my knowledge you know of him. And so it is that I believe you will firmly enjoy being a part of his torment.'

Hermione stepped aside lithely, find herself standing next to an ashen faced Rab. The knot in her stomach tightened at the listlessness in his eyes.

The man howled as Bellatrix sent his body flying into a wall. Bellatrix preened as Voldemort pressed close behind her, his fingers trailing down her arms.

'Most wonderful,' he remarked. He turned to look at Rodolphus smirking quietly in a corner. 'You have done quite a remarkable job today, my man. You shall be aptly rewarded. I shall feel immense pleasure while I burn away this man's senses. The world shall quiver before my wrath once they have heard of this.. monstrosity I have myself designed. It shall hide away from me when the masses find out that I, Lord Voldemort, have found the very way to disregard a man's honour.. his true feelings cast aside and replaced by the fruition of another man's will. Oh, how I must revel to know that one of Dumbledore's most trusted will be turned against him.'

Hermione's blood ran cold as she realised the implications of Voldemort's words.

'I will strip away any shred of loyalty he may feel toward the old fool and his band of blithering idiots. I will take away from him his fondest memories and turn them into something bitter. I will steal away from those he love. I will make him see them in a different light. I will make him spurn those he cares for. By the time the night is over and the moon sets, I will have this man begging me to do my bidding.'

Hermione felt the hair on her skin rise as the blond haired man thrashed onto the ground, his body cluttering over it like a ragdoll.

Hermione's insides coiled into a thick rage as another shackled scream split the air and rattled the very bones inside her. The man gasped out a hurried name, a whisper of a prayer, a name so reverently spoken that his love washed over her.

And then it clicked.

Her eyes widened, a cry of protest against Fate at the tip of her tongue. Her emotions turned jagged, a wraith like numbness overcoming her.

The man was once again flung aside, his battered body falling down into a heap at Hermione's feet.

She gasped, taking a hesitant step back, stumbling onto her knees.

_Peter_.

Peter's lifeless blue eyes locked onto hers, memories of a distant past rearing up, a rueful smile tugging at his lips.

'And this is.. how .. our something .. big ends,' he whispered.

_**I'm telling you, Hermione.. this is the start of something big**_ , he had said. _**Doesn't matter where you go.**_

It didn't in the end, did it?

It didn't matter in the end. She couldn't save the McKinnons. She couldn't save her sweet Reggie. And she couldn't save Peter.

Peter had never meant to rat the Potters out. He had never meant to betray them. He hadn't meant to kill Harry. He had never meant to be the catalyst that would shift the entire war.

He had been brainwashed.

He had been tortured.

_**This is the start of something big.**_ Something big indeed.

Voldemort helped Hermione to her feet. 'Worry not, my dear. He will never again hurt you.'

Peter's eyes shut close as Hermione released a timid breath, the irony of life once again gambling with her sanity.

'At last,' Voldemort's eyes gleamed, 'a spy in the Order.'

 


	62. Chapter 62

_** DISCLAIMER ** _ _**. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.** _

'How do we save him?' Rab wrung his hands through his hair in frustration, looking at Hermione helplessly.

It had taken an immense amount of control for her to keep herself from running through the winding passageways of the Lestrange Manor in search of her brother after Voldemort had ordered Peter to be thrown away into the dungeons until after the sun set and all Death Eaters congregated to witness his subtle transformation into a conniving little bastard to spy on the Order. She had tried every room, frantic and terrified of the events that were sure to follow but had found no trace of Rab.

She had lost sight of him amidst the hubub of Voldemort's departure and was painfully on the alert of his presence.

She had been to all the obvious spots when she had been suddenly reminded of the one place nobody would ever consider to look for if ever he was to disappear.

Hermione had chided herself silently, struck by the numbness of her mind that had prevented her from seeking the obvious answers. She had calmed herself down into an even slower pace as she stepped outside the Manor and covertly into the forest.

Deep into the cover of the trees she had broken into a jog, her feet treading onto a familiar path that had been obscured by the last few years of decaying misery. Her breath had come out in gasps as her eyes had sought out the snow laden treehouse James had so delicately built back when they had been kids.

Hermione had sighed as memories of all the good times she had had inside those four walls, surrounded by the Marauders and their playful banters, reared their way to her mind. She had climbed up the tree carefully, her fingers reaching for the crevices in the ancient wood. Opening the hatchet to the treehouse, she had exahled loudly, seeing Rab pacing back and forth, his hands curled around a bottle of Firewhisky, the smell of the burning firewood in the air.

'I have considered bringing Harry to the Manor but there is not enough time for me to tamper with the wards,' Rab said. 'Even if I could do that there is no way he could go unnoticed. I cannot think of any other way to get Peter out of the Manor safely without compromisig ourselves. I am at a loss of what to do, Mi. Nothing seems to be makig sense.'

Hermione closed her eyes, seeking comfort in a plush armchair.

Rab whispered quietly into the heavy silence. 'How, then, do we save him?'

'We.. we have to do something,' Hermione wrung her hands nervously. 'Peter must be saved no matter what. We must.. hurry. We barely have an hour.'

Rab shook his head sadly. 'Mi.. What do you expect us to do? Go in wands blazing and free him just like that? It would implicate both of us and strip us of our hard earned trust among the Dark Lord's ranks.'

Hermione tugged uselessly at her braid. 'You don't understand. We're talking about the life of an innocent man. I know I was the one who kept harping about how the life of one doesn't count when it comes to saving the world but this is nothing like that. Peter needs to escape and if we somehow cannot help him then I would gladly kill him.' Her eyes flashed as her voice lost all emotion. 'Death would be a mercy. A part of him will always survive somewhere inside. He will wither away at seeing all the unforgivable things he will be made to do. His torture won't end tonight, Rab. It will never end for him.'

Rab sipped his drink. He placed a tender hand on her cheek, his voice weary and tired. 'We would be taking a great risk. I want to save him. Believe me, I do. I saw the boy grow up. I have a soft spot for all your friends, Mi, but what you are talking about is treason. If we do this there will be no going back. We will be unable to return and we still have one more horcrux to find in Malfoy Manor. How do you expect us to get around to acquiring it we leave our place here?'

'That,' she stressed, 'is why it is time for _you_ to blow your cover.'

His brows scrunched up. 'What? What do you mean it's time for _me_ to blow my cover?'

' _You_ must be the one to help him out of here,' Hermione said resolutely, dreading the argument that was bound to follow.

'And leave you in this snakepit?' he asked incredulously, scandalised at the betrayal she spoke of. 'I will never in my life leave you here alone. How could you even think of something so innately absurd?'

Hermione gripped her head in frustration. 'Oh, dear Merlin,' she muttered under her breath. 'Rab! Peter set in motion the chain of events that had the Potters killed. He started everything. He is the reason Harry had no parents. If we let him get brainwashed into a traitorous rat we will most certainly have lost the war.'

Rab's lips set in a thin line, his jaw ticking. He sighed heavily as he looked at her pleadingly. 'Do not make me do this. If something happened to you.. I will never forgive myself. I cannot lose you.. not after everything that we have been through.'

'You won't lose me.' Hermione said, taking his hands in hers. 'I promise this to you. I will be safe. I know that Voldemort will begin to suspect me if you suddenly disappear with a vital prisoner. I doubt I will have long to get my hands on the horcrux but this is a risk that I must take.'

'How will I even get him out? The Dark Lord has called upon almost every one of his followers. We will be surrounded on all sides. There is no way we can possibly escape.'

'Come now, Rab,' she chuckled. 'Don't tell me you've forgotten the old hidden passageways of the Manor.'

'You will never find your way through them,' Rab said. 'They are impossible to make sense of.'

'Good thing that I was an honourary Marauder then not to mention all the sneaking I did in my own time,' she said before motioning him to follow her.

Rab cursed as he fell in step behind her, the silence too much for the pair as each considered how it could very well be the last time they would be seeing each other for a long time.

'What if I came back?' Rab murmured. 'I could leave him at Harry's and return immediately.'

'We can't be sure how long it will take you to actually find Harry if he's not home or if you could make it back in time before your absence was noticed,' Hermione retorted. 'If you're late even by a minute Voldemort will suspect you and put you through immense pain and that is not something we can gamble with.'

Rab remained silent for he longest time as the two drudged through the snow. Hermione could feel him following close.

'He will come after you,' he said softly, his fingers gripping the hem of her sleeve, never once halting

It was true that her mind was slowly drawing up strict walls around itself inf ear of the retribution Voldemort was sure to serve her for Rab's treachery. There was no way he hadn't already witnessed the love that the two shared.

Hermione shurgged her shoulders nonchalantly. 'I wish I could tell you otherwise but if there is one thing that I have learned in all my years is that our lives are full of impossible choices. We can never truly be happy. Not amidst all this violence and evil. We all pay a price for the freedom we're fighting for, Rab.'

Rab grabbed hold of her hand, bringing her to a stop as the treeline began thinning. 'You can take him away. Let me.find the horcrux.

She shook her head at him, her face a look of pure agony. 'It is a non descript diary, Rab. You wouldn't know it was there even if it was staring back at you. I have lived through a lot worse. I will make it.'

Rab let go of her reluctantly, his hands shaking at the effort.

Ignoring the tiny sob threatening to break free inside her, Hermione spoke clearly. 'Okay, here is what we're going to do. We will use the elves' entrance. We can't enter through the main entryway. We will go behind the West Wing and make our way to the dungeons through the kitchens. After that I will conjure up a trail for you that will take you through a mile long tunnel underground which eventually catches up to the old storehouse which is north of the Manor. From there you have to walk a couple hundred yards but the tree cover shall be enough to keep you out of sight if alarm has already been raised. You will then find the end of the family wards.'

Rab nodded tightly. 'Understood,' he murmured.

Hermione bit her lip, entwining her fingers with hers. She brought their joined hands to her lips, dropping a sloppy kiss against his knuckles. 'I am so sorry. Have faith in me, Rab. I will break free.' She chuckled dryly. 'For all that it's worth perhaps it will be a great enough incentive for me to hurry up and look for the horcrux? How about that, yes? We would be done with the war for once and all,' she offered.

'Hermione,' he croaked out. 'Please don't do this. We have been in this together since the start. To leave you alone would rip me to pieces.. I, I can't. You're my sister. My only duty is to protect you and you are asking me let you go.'

'I will come back.' Hermione pointed at the vaguely visible sun, dipping down below the clouds. 'But we are out of time now, Rab. Come on, we have to go now.'

Rab withdrew his hand from hers, the small action almost painful, and led the way towards the West Wing. The lead in his feet reminded him of the gnawing worry in the pit of his belly.

He walked as the oppressive walls almost seemed to be caving in on him, the deserted corridors devoid of human touch since long years past. As he wound through the twisting pathways, his fingers tracing the cold stone walls, Rab couldn't help but feel that this was the tipping point of his life. More than the fear he felt for his sister's life, he felt an insurgent rage. She was far too young to have been dealt such a hand and the night would only bring her more horror all because of him.

He cursed the fates as he turned round the final corner, hearing Hermione crouch low and breathe into the misty silence. Their eyes remained trained onto the pair of guards patrolling outside the dungeons, pacing in front of a tiny doorway leading into the darkness, the round chamber lit up only by a sole burning candle off into the corner. The taller man had grey hair and a ramrod straight back, the rusted key to the lockup hanging round his neck. The shorter man was burlier and build with a thickset of muscle, his mouth firmly held shut.

Hermione's wand let out flares of vibrant red light making the men grunt, startled and suddenly apprehensive, and fall on their knees. The shorter man attempted to fight back only to be shot down yet again, his hand going round his throat, his breath giving out as an invisible force knocked out the air from inside him.

Rab kicked at the old man's face, sending him hurtling into the wall, his fingers snapping into half as his wrist was crushed under the weight of his own body. He cried out in pain, a current running through his entire body as Hermione struck him down.

Rab looked at her with a strange emotion burning in his eyes. She looked away, ashamed. It was funny how easy it became to kill once you'd been doing it for as long as you could remember.

She saw Rab bend at his waist to get to the key round the man's neck. They were lucky the Order or the Resistance hadn't before tried to carry out a rescue operation or they would have found the safety mechanism of prisoners a very difficult taskforce to compete with indeed.

Hermione nodded at Rab for him to go on, her own feet carrying her across the small chamber and back towards the kitchens. She felt along the walls, constantly rapping against them after she had crossed around a hundred feet. She kept her ear trained against the stone, keeping a look out for the hollowest echo of a false wall.

After several trials she finally found the crack in the slippery mass of stone and moss. She carefully pulled out the tiny, jarred stone out of its resting place. She could hear Rab struggle as he levitated Peter's body toward where she stood. She worked faster, her wand already moving and casting complex spells, laying down the briefest and the quickest way out of the Manor and into the outside world.

As the sound of Rab's footsteps grew louder, Hermione uttered one last spell and sent out a silent prayer before taloing her wand against the entryway, enlarging the small opening.

Once sure of her handcraft, she turned around, her eyes already seeking out the limp form of the bleeding man she had come to cafe for. Her fingers brushed against his damp hair, his eyes shut close to the pain that surrounded him.

Hermioned muttered several spells under her breath, healing every tiny scrape that she could, taking pride in the redish hue returning to Peter's ashen cheeks. She placed a tender kiss against his forehead before pressing her fingers to Rab's chest, who had been watching her intently all this time, his face a perfect mask.

'There will be a white light guiding you along a trail of salt which will vanish the moment you have passed a particular point,' she explained. 'Nobody should be able to follow you. You will find yourself reaching towards the end of the tunnels by the quarter of an hour is up.'

Rab said nothing.

'You can do this,' she urged him, a faint urgency in her words. Her heart beat wildly beneath her chest as she took in the sight of her haggard looking brother. Oh, how she must be torturing his poor soul. 'And even if you can't, you _have_ to. All war depends on it.'

'This isn't goodbye,' he whispered to her, his voice a fierce storm of will.

'Never goodbye,' she mumbled before turning around, sparing one last look at him as he carried Peter's body inside the hidden stoneway, his own eyes betraying him as they flashed of his pain.

Hermione sighed, reaching out helplessly to the cold stone underneath her hand as the passageway melted away into the mould of the wall. She disillusioned herself before making her way back to the grounds, her mind a whirlwind of could be's and would be's.

Hermione knew of memories that would never leave her bones. She was full of them. And so she was quite certain that the memory of Rab's haunted eyes would never let her rest.

She removed the charms on herself as she took her place beside Rodolphus in the hall, awaiting the return of the Dark Lord, awaiting her final predicament. She glanced at the man on her side, awestruck at the similarities he bore to Rab and baffled by the austerity in his eyes.

She sucked in a sharp breath as Voldemort entered, his predatory gaze hunting over the hundreds of heads of the room full of his miscreant Death Eaters. He rose to his full height as the crowd bent low into a collective sigh of reverence.

Hermione tuned out all the smudging details of the evening for she knew her fate was forfeit. No power could save her for the pain that lay ahead. And yet she knew her ignorance, however blissful, would only last a bare second of a fissure into the landscape of eternity.

She cringed and scrambled away as Voldemort howled in fury. 'That treacherous little leech! How dare he! How dare he defy the Dark Lord! I shall end him! I shall bring him such pains that he shall be reduced to begging me for his life! RODOLPHUS,' he thundered.

'My.. My Lord?,' Rodolphus trembled.

'You brought to me a traitorous man. How must I punish you? How must I deal with the grief of losing an inctedibly vital reosurce tonight at the hand of your blood?'

Hermione saw as Bellatrix fell on her knees. 'My Lord, I confess to you my lingering doubts. Spare my husband for he has not betrayed you. I never once brought my concerns to your notice in fear of being subjected to your scorn. I knew the boy would bring us nothing but trouble. He will try and hide, Master. There is only one way to lure him out, My Lord,' she said succinctly, her terrifying gaze settling onto Hermione, 'and that is not through my husband.'

Hermione felt a chill creep up her back as Voldemort clutched at her hair. She cried out as the tip of his wand pressed against the nape of her neck, a pressure building against her eyes as pain lashed through her body from a cold Cruciatus. She felt herself succumbing to the darkness as Voldemort spun on his feet, dragging with him Hermione's tiny body into the vortex of Apparition, her final destination obscured into the numbing cool of the nothingness that surrounded her.


	63. Chapter 63

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** **_. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._ **

'Pity,' Voldemort whispered into her ear the moment her feet landed onto solid ground. 'I always counted your brother among my best. I always counted _you_ among my best.'

Blinded for the longest second, Hermione opened her eyes slowly, wary of her surroundings and mindful of the cracks in the air signalling the arrival of the Death Eaters. She pressed her hands to her ears as the scene registered before her eyes.

There were voluptuous screams of terror as the people began to realise the predicament they had been thrown into quite unexpectedly while out in the middle of the Diagon Alley, a relatively safe region to be in considering the ongoing war. The cacophany of the screaming men and women sent a shots of panic through her. Her stomach recoiled at the havoc the Death Eaters began inflicting upon the sightless shops lining the street. There were almost no witches or wizards brave enough to dare and defy the Dark Lord and his bidders right to his face.

Shards of crystal ice flew out of the wands of Voldemort's men, ricocheting into the skin of the hapless innocent, their bodies falling over like broken marionettes.

The clouds rumbled in response to the carnage below, the vicious magic hanging in the air like a predatory silence, the miserable pleas for help ringing loudly against Hermione's ears and pulling at the very blood running in her veins.

The chaos overcame all other emotion. Women cried as their babies were snatched away from their arms. Children broke into sobs watching their parents fall. The sky was blazing with the blood of the fallen.

Only a few minutes through and Voldemort waved his hand lazily, the sight of which left the Death Eaters standing in rapt attention, their sadistic merrymaking halted, sending a wave of pulsating desperation, their eyes starving for greater sorrows as the lcuky few civilians escaped their reach and Apparated away.

'Word is bound to have reached the traitor by now,' Voldemort claimed. 'If he is, indeed, in the company of those fools Dumbledore fawns upon then he has undoubtedly already been intimated of the events that have transpired this evening. He is smart enough to know a ruse when there is one. However, enough of these ramblings,' he mumbled before striking down a little boy no older than five, crawling on his bloodied knees and scrambling towards his sobbing mother with her sheared clothes hanging off of her that made her look like a rag doll. His body was thrashed into the air, now only just a mess of mangled bones and skin.

Voldemort sneered, his eyes glinting with malice. He traced his fingers gently against Hermione's cheek, pulling her by her hair and bringing her face close to his. 'You were a radiant little thing, love. What a delightful delicacy and yet.. here we are.' He extended his cold fingers towards her. 'Your wand?'

Hermione felt her breath hitch. 'My.. my wand?'

'Was I not clear? I shall require your wand. I simply cannot have you rioting in front of such a crowd and tarnish my name.'

She tightened her hold over it. It was no longer the time to maintain her facade. Something was very, very wrong. She could feel it in her very skin with the way it prickled. Her mind was screaming at her to run. But where? How? She had single handedly landed herself into this mess. There was nowhere to go. Not while surrounded by Death Eaters on all sides. No civilian would ever step up to help her. Not even if the Order or the Resistance arrived in time would she find any help. She was just another dark wizard in their eyes.

Voldemort shook his head piteously. He waved over Bellatrix who stooped down, her eyes lit up brightly, and attempted to snatch away Hermione's one last means of defence.

'Get away from me!' Hermione yelled, flicking her wrist sharply which made Bellatrix yelp in pain, the ends of her fingers burned.

'You traitorous whore!' Bellatrix snarled before sending a wave of furious magic towards the bushy haired witch.

Hermione felt herself blasted a few hundred yards away right in the middle of the street. Another beam of blue light hit her in her chest. She cried out, her lips trembling. She rose her chin defiantly at Bellatrix as she marched forward. Another hit. And another. And another.

Lucius and Alecto Carrow were quick to join in on the fun. Hermione's half formed shields were no good against three fully trained Death Eaters. Never in her life had she felt so helpless. She begged the Gods for her end to come quickly. After all why prolong the inevitabile?

'You must be punished,' Voldemort said, holding his arms out for all that were gathered around to witness how ruthlessly he brought down hell upon those who dared defy his word.

Hermione felt an icy chill creep over her. 'Punished.. my Lord?'

The rest of the Death Eaters stood still, their powerful gaits holding the bystanders hostage, creating the perfect audience for the horror to come.

'Yes,' he murmured softly, the tenderness in his voice sending shivers down her body. 'Punished. Your brother may have done the deed tonight but do not think I can be so easily fooled. I know the workings of your heart, Miss Lestrange. I have always known that darkness has a certain allure that can reach out to even the purest of hearts. I had hoped you had taken a shining to my .. cause. But it is quite apparent that I was wrong.'

Hermione shivered as he trailed his fingers down her arm, pressing his wand into her belly, the wood digging into her extremely uncomfortable. She bid herself to give one last chance to herself.

'I knew nothing about it, Master.. how could I ever defy you? You have shown us the way to our one dream. How could I ever have gone against you? Do not doubt me, my Lord. Rabastan is a weakling. He betrayed your trust. He betrayed _our_ trust in him. But not I, my Lord, not I. I live only to serve you.'

He smirked, his lips tugging up in mirthless laughter. 'Oh, my sweet, your games do not work on Lord Voldemort.' He stood up abruptly and snarled into her face. 'You _dare_ lie to me? You who murdered my men. You have commited treason. Was it not you who threw a dagger through Borgin Burke Sr?'

Hermione's blood ran cold. She strained to keep a hold of her bearings. She could not let her fear show. She could not let them see she was at the end of the rope.

'Tell me, how could it be that a traitorous rat such as yourself forgot to remove such damning evidence? Surely you remembered the dagger would bear the crest of your House. It was not a difficult task to figure out the wielder, my love. I have my eyes everywhere. Nothing stays hidden from the Dark Lord. Nothing stays evasive.'

Hermione visibly gulped. What could she do now? She could not possibly attack him. She knew she would be squished under his foot no sooner than she raised her wand. His Death Eaters would swarm her and murder her.

'You spilled the purest of bloods and for what? For a filthy little mudblood? Evans, was it? A mudblood you care about. Or was it that bastardly Black who you have always pined after? What a waste of your talents, I must say. You had such potential to rule. And yet you chose to give it all up for those who would not spare you another glance.'

Hermione knew all hope was lost and yet a semblance of it fueled her to know that he still thought it was her cowardice in the face of love that made her betray him and not some ulterior motive.

Her secrets were safe.

'I should have never allowed an abomination such as yourself into my ranks. You have soiled my name, you ungrateful little pestilence! I had thought that seeing your friend under the throes of torturous pain would be a great enough burden on your dainty little shoulders. I had foolishly hoped that you would bow down for once and for all im fear of me after you saw how incredibly powerful I have strived to become but I mustn't have undermined the consequences of forced loyalty. You are a disgrace to your family. You chose the scum of this world. You are a disgrace. _Crucio_ ,' he yelled.

The Death Eaters jeered, Bellatrix at the forefront of them, howling with mirth. She stepped forward, her fingers wrapped tight around Hermione's wrist. 'You love muggles,' she scoffed. 'Look where your love brought you.'

Hermione felt her wrist twist as her wand was snatched away from her nimble fingers. The sound of her breaking bones elicited screams from insider her throat. She bit her lip. She felt stripped of her very magic at the loss of the familiar wood that always rested within her hands.

There was another blast of noise and Hermione felt her body convulse and fall, propelled backwards. She hit the back of somebody's feet. But instead of a kick in her guts as she might have expected she felt soft fingers curl around her bruised shoulders, a rarity of kindness in the darkness that threatened to eat her raw.

She looked up wearily to find Narcissa's icy grey eyes boring holes into hers with something akin to sorrow shining inside them. She tried pulling her up.

Hermione gasped and drew back. 'Narcissa, _no_ mercy.. he will spare none.. let me..'

Before she could finish her sentence there was a rumble in the air and Narcissa went down on her knees, her screams splitting the air with the pain in her voice, her hands rushing to her growing belly.

' _Crucio_ ,' Voldemort growled, his wand pointing at Narcissa. 'Step aside, love. Do not make me hurt your child. The girl deserves no mercy.'

Lucius rushed to his wife's side, scooping her up in his arms and pulling her to the side, his anxious eyes roving over her petite frame.

Hermione's eyes shut against the coldness of the world. Her mind conjured up images of a long gone past as she prayed for Draco's safety.

Images of a trio of uncaring eleven year olds, away from the treacherous forces always at work, before the hands of Fate struck, swarmed at her.

She remembered Ron as his cold body was lowered into the ground, the night he had jumped in front of her to save her life. How, then, could she be weak? Her life was not her own. She owed it to him; her red haired, freckled best friend. She would not be weak. Her end might be here but she was no cub to be put down. She was a lioness and a lioness never bows. She braced herself, gathering all the steel in her veins and letting the fire in her eyes burn brighter than ever.

Hermione chuckled softly. 'You pride yourself in your blood, Bellatrix. And yet you bend to the will of a raving madman.' She pulled her hand away from the older woman's grip. Her voice rose as she let her eyes wander around the huddled men and women. 'Pureblooded through Nd through.. wizards abd witches who find it the gravest of crimes to breathe in the air that comes out the lungs of muggles and yet you submit to one lower than yourselves. You do as you are bidded. You do as you are told by the son of a Muggle. A simpleton. A man of no importance.'

She felt her coruage bolden at the murmurs of faint whispering among the crowd.

'Voldemort proclaims himself a Lord. A Lord of what? His name is Tom Marvolo Riddle. He is no pureblood. He's a liar and a lunatic and _you_ are all fools!'

'Lies!' Barty Crouch Jr yelled, jumping to his Master's rescue. 'She feeds us lies. You might want to silence yourself or I shall forget you are a Lestrange, sacred by birth and yet a soiled tramp by your deeds.'

'This man is a monster,' she screamed, ignoring the cruel man behind her. 'He wants to crush the world under his heel. He cares not about the purity of blood but only about gaining unrestricted powers. You think you are his allies?' Hermione barked out a dry laugh. 'How obnoxiously patronising your Lord is. You may not realise it yet but you are no more than slaves to him.'

' _ENOUGH_ ,' Voldemort roared. There was an entirely new emotion in his eyes. They holstered free of any contained mirth and burst forth with a blistering fire, his face awash with fury, bafflement over his biggest secret having been dug out so blatantly. 'Do not listen to her perverse tales. She's a kitten come home. And I shall show her how lying scum is punished. _CRUCIO_!'

Hermione felt herself fall, the cold ground unsoothing to her aching muscles.

The air shifted as several cracks were heard as various Order and Resistance members swarmed the street, barely enough to hold down the Death Eaters much less stand their ground against the Dark Lord himself. Their eyes grew large at the imposing figure he made, some of their fight deflating them, but their heads still held high. Looks of confusion and bafflement were abound at seeing one of his own at his mercy that fateful night. Before they could lapse into action, however, Voldemort's voice boomed over everything else.

'I come in peace tonight. Strange as it may sound I bear no ill will. I merely wish for you to see how Lord Voldemort treats those who go against me. An example shall be set tonight. At my very own hands.'

There was a quiet round of whispering that went around. Hermione smiled wryly to herself, the irony of her predicament so evidently glaring at her. Nobody would help her. She belonged nowhere. Voldemort considered her a spy. The Light side considered her vermin.

Her eyes wandered hopelessly over the maroon robed witches and wizards, the sight of familiar black hair nowhere to be seen. Not a single person who'd come to her rescue. She felt tears roll down her cheeks as the face of Alastor Moody loomed into her vision, his eyes unforgiving and ruthless, on his side the Prewett twins with their red hair glowing into the darkness of the sky.

Voldemort tilted her face towards him, his eyes a radiant red. 'Nobody will come to your aid, love. You will die alone. I hope your brother decides to arrive. It shall be a pleasure to rip out his heart from my bare hands.' He sneered, 'Now I do wonder how to bring you unthinkable pain. There are spells that could peel the flesh off of you like a grape. I could make your body rot and decay as you lived. But I call for a more fitting end. The Muggles are very proficient at one thing and that's torture. I have always wondered what would happen to such beautiful skin if it was.. flayed.

He stood up and stepped aside, holding out his hand in front of Bellatrix. She preened under his gaze as she handed him a whip made out of black leather, the length of it spiked with tiny little shards of metal glowing white.

There was a sharp intake of breath. Hermione's swivelled around to find Rodolphus biting his lip, his fists curled at his side.

Her heart beat violently against her chest. She could tell the metal spikes had been meddled with. They had a spell added onto them to drag out her misery even longer.

Her right arm remained limp at her side, her wrist lay throbbing in agony. The darkness descended onto her as the wind gathered up. The cold intensified. Hermione's eyes widened at the crack in the air as the whip was unfurled. She jammed a fist into her mouth to stifle her screams.

The horrid lash against her back left her gasping for breath, the searing pain sending tremors across it. The metal spikes burned and melted into her skin as her robe tore up in tiny little crevices.

Hermione could feel the sweat drench her brows and her nails dig into her palms. Her stomach churned as her ears began ringing with the guttural sobs etching out of her throat, her gut tortured by fear. Her eyes fluttered, her mind oozing in and out of consciousness, her thoughts reminiscent of all the people she had ever loved.

* * *

 

Harry hated the turn the evening had taken for him. The last thing he would have ever expected was to find Peter Pettigrew, the reason behind his parents' death, bleeding and shivering at his doorstep. He had rushed to his side and taken him to the Headquarters as Rab tagged along, distraught and at his wit's end, his speech a cacophany of broken prayers and apologies.

He had tried hard. He had tried _very_ hard to not let his mind wander as he carried out the necessary basic checks on Peter's body. He had futilely tried to keep himself calm and reassured as he explained the situation to the Head Healer at the Resistance. He had tried to keep a check on his emotions as he imitated Dumbledore about the events of the day and advised him to pull Remus out of Greyback's pack immediately.

He had tried. He truly had. But nothing in the world could prevent the raging storm inside his mind as he fretted over Hermione's fate, each little trinket of a scenario that could occur playing before his mind's eyes. He hoped against hope for her to get away unscathed but who was he even kidding?

He was the Boy Who Lived. And the Boy Who Lived could never find rest.

His outward demeanor had been nothing but the face of tranquility and yet his eyes had blazed with an ice cold fury. He cursed himself for his recklessness. He had doomed everybody who had ever gotten close to him. He had lost everyone he had ever loved. And now he was at the risk of losing the one person he could never reimagine his life without. For all he tried, Harry could not figure out just how she could escape Voldemort's fury. It was apparent she would be used to lure Rab out. Voldemort wasn't beyond inhumane atrocities against his own.

But then Hermione wasn't called the brightest witch of her age for no reason. He knew if there was one person who could fool even the likes of the man who called himself the grestest of the Dark Lords then it was her. Her brilliance was unparalleled. He cling desperately to the half hearted rationale his mind conjured up for him and yet his heart trembled.

It had been no easy task to soothe Rab and compel him into staying put when word had arrived of the ruckus being caused in the middle of the Diagon Alley. Harry had assumed it was just another raid. He had sent out most of the men and women he could spare. Most of the Order and Resistance, under the leadership of James and Sirius, was presently occupied with tracing Voldemort's activity abroad to figure out the reason behind his prolonged forays into the outside world. It had turned out that not even Hermione could provide an answer to the baffling problem.

It came as a numbing shock when he found out that that it was no simple raid being carried out. Voldemort himself had chosen to step outside his safety net and into the heart of Wizarding London to set an example for those who dared raise their voice against him.

Hermione had somehow been compromised. And that made Harry's world split right down the middle and into two torn pieces of a barely breathing heart.

His blood ran cold as he Apparated into a dark corner. He squinted into the velvety darkness, the only things visible to him a huge crowd, civilians and the Light side of the war alike, their gaits bent and bowed in fear and cowardice. He couldn't begin to blame them. None of those present here had ever before faced Voldemort himself. They were no match against him. They would end up being a part of the carnage if they had dared out up a fight. And yet no sympathy shredded its way into Harry's heart that night.

There was a beating against his head, a constant thrum of synchronous shackles he realised soon enough was the shrill cries of the one woman he would die for. His heart was rioting inside his chest, spurring him on but something kept him rooted to his feet.

_Fear_.

He had never known it like he knew it this night. Fear in its most gut wrenching throes of sorrow. He felt like bare timber as the gloom nestled inside his bones.

Something inside him willed him to move for never before had there been such an hour where Harry had felt so utterly broken. He didn't what was wrong with him. He didn't know what cracked inside him. Tears blurred his vision as he heard Hermione's voice grow weaker, the strain of her notes becoming hushed.

He remembered her tiny arms as she had hugged him the very first time all those years ago. He had felt her race into his chest, both of them nearly tumbling down under the weight. He remembered the crease on her shoulders the first time he had embraced her in their second life, left from long forgotten days where his head had so often found solace in her warmth. He remembered all the times she had held his hand, calling him forward.

Every time it had been Hermione Granger who had saved Harry Potter's life. It had never truly been the other way around. She had been his guiding force, his cornerstone. She had been the one to flood into him courage and bravery but the night when he needed the most she was tied down to the ground under the weight of her agony. How could he ever help her when he could never have even helped himself?

His knees almost buckled but then there was a strong wafting breeze that tugged at his robes and yet strangely there was not a tree bristling. Harry's brows furrowed as he looked up to find a golden haired man looking gravely at him, an austere reflection of something akin to a Muggle Admiral, the lines of his jaw hard as ice. His soldier eyes beckoned him forward, jerking him awake from the slumber of his mind, gifting him with a recluse.

Harry pushed against the people, silently gawking at Hermione's pain and misery, fueling her humiliation. He felt a white hot rage burn through his veins as his fell upon her huddled figure. He saw as she tried in vain to keep her breathing under control, every shrill cry sending quivers up her spine, her heart mangled and tired and bleeding out.

_NO_!

There had been too much death. He had sacrificed too much. Not this time. Not her. Merlin forbid not her.

There was an explosion of steaming black that burst forth from his wand. Shrapnel of wood and glass exploded, jutting into the skin of the dark robed men howling in pain.

Harry's eyes sought Hermione's, the brown inside withering away as she slipped in and out of consciousness, her lips turned into a wry smile as her gaze lingered over him, relief washing over her face despite the blood oozing out of the many wounds littering her body like a wasteland.

Harry nodded at her almost imperceptibly, his heart in a flurry of emotions. He would save her. He would _die_ saving her.

Voldemort's scarlet eyes narrowed as they focused on Harry's form, his fists curled in anger at the man who dared stand up to him. He flung a lazy hand, sending shocks of pink light towards Harry's chest.

Harry swung his arm out, casting a shield stronger than any curse that might have come his way. He felt the force of what seemed like a thousand curses crash aaginst the shimmering force field protecting him, the wands of a dozen Death Eaters trained at him.

Harry felt blood trickle down his nose as he swiped across the invisible air around him, causing several Death Eaters flying into the rummage of the broken walls of the shops that littered the street.

There was a murmur of excitement that rushed through the Order and the Resistance. They launched into action, several of them crowding around a Death Eater each, striking them down like rag dolls.

Harry thanked his stars for the small mercy. He kept one eye trained on Hermione who lay breathing laboriously, her broken arms sturggling to carry her weight forward as she crawled on her knees to hide behind some broken debris. He almost felt himself fall as he saw her gasp softly before collapsing into unconsciousness, her limbs a dangling mess.

_She's still alive, though._

He began walking towards her, his arms outstretched. There was a reverberating shock as he felt himself fly into a fountain on the side, in the middle of the raging battle.

Harry growled as he broke free of the roped that wrung around him. He raised his wand to slash at the air, sending a torrent of red light at Voldemort's chest who stood glaring at him, his feet poised.

A simmering figure of a snake took form, lashing at Harry who dived just in time to save himself from its bite.

Harry spat out spell after spell, the unadulterated hatred in his voice like a burning sword. The air swirled around Voldemort, wresthign him in a trap of the elements.

There was a pulsating beat of anixiety at the back of Harry's mind that kept his thoughts focused only on Hermione's broken body ahead that not even the sharp gash against his leg registered as Voldemort sent him hurling.

There was the sound of two simultaneous cracks. Harry whipped his head around to find a ravenously enraged Sirius Black lunge at Voldmort, James, his father, bringing the back of their attack.

'You are no match against me,' Voldemort grunted out. 'Your insolent tricks are child's play.'

Harry gritted his teeth as he summoned the fallen debris and sent it flying at the red eyed man. A torrent of black fire burst from the tip of Sirius' wand, engulfing the man as James added a million little sharp needles to the mix.

Voldemort cracked his wand down, a wave of what rolling off of him and towards the entirety of the crowd. A sickly spell shot out his wand, wrapping itself around the trio in a nauseating glow but as soon as a horrible feeling of breathlessness had begun to envelope them it stopped.

Harry noted the faint flicker of fear in Voldemort's eyes, staring starkly into the widened old pools of silver of Dumbledore's irises.

Voldmeort took a step back, the fight on the side of the Light almost reinforced at the arrival of their beacon of hope. He staggered to a defiant stop before launching into a renewed effort.

There was a tingle of magic that slammed into the trio as Dumbledore raged against the Dark Lord, the two most powerful wizards of the era at each other's throats.

There was a moment of stillness. But it was no time to rest.

'Go on, mate. Get her. I'll go help out the others,' James yelled before dashing away into the blurring battle going on.

Harry whipped around to find Sirius already running towards where Hermione lay in a ghostly pallor. Harry was quick on his steps, the distance between them growing shorter but before the duo could have even mad with halfway there was a rustling and a heavily lidded woman stood over Hermione's limp body, a sharp dagger pointing straight at the base of her chin.

Harry gasped at the hauntingly familiar sight, unbidden memories of a night spent screaming in the Malfoy Manor pushed their way to the forefront of his mind.

'Not so quick, cousin,' she teased.

Harry held his breath. There was no way he could attack her without getting Hermione.

'Let her go, Bellatrix,' he said, his voice posion. 'Or I will strip your skin alive.'

'Ah, such intensity. And I don't even know who you are.'

Sirius snarled, 'Don't play games here, Bella. You're no match against the two of us.'

'Oh, but I am definitely up to killing a body as weak as this,' she jutted her chin at Hermione's brittle body, her eyes still shut close. 'You fire a spell at me and your friend here dies. I wouldn't mind giving up my own life to know I brought you such misery.'

Harry cursed loudly before sending a sniewy spell straight at Bellatrix's chest. She cried out as another curse hit her, Sirius' rage pooling into his eyes.

'You don't learn, do you?' She hissed as she pushed in the knife deeper into Hermione's skin, eliciting a soft yelp.

Hatred pumped through Harry's veins. 'You've taken enough from me. Let. Her. Go.'

Sirius growled as he crossed his tipping point, his eyes almost begging. He lunged at the woman, his bare hands clutching at her throat. He was almost close to her, his fingers scraping across Hermione's robes when there was a cacophany of spells that blasted through the night, sending Sirius' body spiralling into the ground as somewhere behind them Voldemort wrapped himself in a misty darkness and disappeared sooner than anybody could have realised what was happening.

Harry raised his wand, a deadly spell at the tip of his tongue when Bellatrix wavered and Disapparated away with Hermione still in the clutches of Death.

He howled in agony, the pain of a million suns beating down against his bare skin funneling through him, the unimaginable sorrow of all the tears he had ever cried in his life hitting him all at once.

**_AN_** : **_Phew, I haven't updated in a while. I hope that a longer than usual chapter will make up for it even though it's not my best. I quite literally struggled through it since I've recently lost my muse. It comes and goes. Now it's not the strongest chapter and I bet it wouldn't be difficult to find loopholes here but it's the best I could come up with under all the pressure I'm currently facing. It's sheer will of not wanting to abandon the story that I'm still writing. I will not go back on my word. The story will be finished no matter what. You guys deserve it after all the unwavering support you've shown me._**

**_Once again, thank you to each one of you :-)_ **


	64. Chapter 64

 

 

 

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** **_. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._ **

Hermione blinked open her eyes, staring warily into the dull greyness of the stone chamber she seemed to be inside. Her throat ached with the effort of trying to breathe, her lungs not quite filling up.

She tried rubbing away the dirt in her eyes when she realised the truth of her glaring reality.

Her hands were chained to the wall, her fingers bloodied at the tips, and her broken wrist only just healed, the scar already a fading yellow.

A fading yellow..

She gasped.

_How long have I been here?_

She felt true horror creep up her spine as her mind reeled to make sense of things. She seemed to have been drugged if her lethargy and sluggishness were any indication. She wondered if the nails on her fingers had been scratched away in her attempts of escape.

Her eyes scrucnhed up close as her head pounded with the flood of questions. Memories began making their way to the forefront of her mind, blurred vision and faint voices rearing their way in.

Her arms hurt. Her legs hurt. Her head hurt.

Everything hurt.

Her ears were ringing, her back sending out wisps of pain which ran up and down her body every few seconds like a shock of electricity would.

She groaned under the weight of her agony, her lips dried and parched, the black of the room intensifying and creeping in on her all at once.

There was a whirring noise. Her head jerked in its direction, sending a spasm through her neck and pulling her asunder once again.

* * *

 

'And she still persists,' she heard a voice whisper into the quiet of the room, making the hair on the back of her neck rise.

'The spell is only just beginning to work, My Lord,' a low female voice rumhled.

'We cannot risk exposure.'

'You must not worry, Master.' Another male. 'This is an unplottable location. Only the Malfoys are privy to this jewel of a place, protected by charms stronger even than the Fidelius. Nobody shall ever find the girl. She will die here and her rotting body will forever lay under this roof for eons to come.'

Hermione strained her ears to listen but her body kept rebelling. She could only just catch snippets.

The room was quiet once again. How long ago had they left? Had it been only minutes? Hours? Days? Longer?

Who was the man? Was it.. was it Voldemort? Had she been captured? How could she have been captured? She was one of his own.

Colours twisted and turned before the back of her eyes.

A quiet winter night. Sparks all over the place. Harry agonously howling.

She gasped. She had been flogged! She had been tortured endlessly before Harry had sprung into action. But each of his aims had been ruthlessly thwarted.

Who had been the woman? The one with the hooded eyes. She was evil. An evil witch come alive from children's stories. Who had it been? Beatrice? Bethany? No.. those names were sane. They sent no shivers up her body. Who had it been?

She slowly opened her eyes only to find herself staring at an even darker black.

She wrung her hands, her broken wrist still entrapped within the silver chains. Her grogginess caught up with her as she attempted to prop herself on her elbow. She felt around with the fingers of her free hands, the vestiges of glass bottles and vials scattered around her.

What was she being fed?

Some strange, unbidden force tried to pull her back into the abysmal ends of her mind.

'NO!' Her throat ached. _No_. There were tears in her eyes now. _No_. She had been fighting too long. _No_. Her breath hitched as her body was wracked by gut wrenching sobs, her lungs failing to keep up. _No, please, no.. not like this.._

There was a sudden desperation that clung to her as her eyes wandered around aimlessly, nothing ever making sense, everything a blur of black and black and only black.

The haze wrapping around her mind grew stronger as she fell onto her back, the cold stone beneath just barely calming the slashes of burns against her bare skin, her robes already chipped away.

* * *

 

_Hermione crouched low beneath the sinks as the troll advanced, knocking them off as he went. Her face turned green. She was almost ready to faint._

_'HERMIONE!' An eleven year old Harry yelled, his voice panicked._

_Hermione's eyes shot up to his face as some semblance of hope returned._

_There was a ruckus as Ron jumped onto the head of the raging troll, his wand stuck up the troll's nose._

There was a flicker of light and suddenly the memory flipped.

_Ron waved his wand around, the charm on the tip of his tongue, his nerves frayed with anxiety. Two simple words. Wingardium leviosa. But then he suddenly stopped. His face tilted towards Hermione's, an evil smirk set upon his lips._

_Harry came to stand beside him, his hand resting on his shoulder, both sets of eyes trained on the girl's face as the troll lunged at her._

Hermione screamed as she came to her senses, the vivid dream still within reach.

_That had never happened_ , she kept telling herself over and over again. Harry and Ron had saved her. The night had been the foundation of their friendship. _That had never happened._

Never.

_Harry's eyes gleamed scarlet as Ron threw his head back, laughing cruelly._

NO!

That had never happened, she repeated inside her head, the pain in her limbs beginning to register.

She leaned her shoulder against the wall, sweat dripping down her brow, the searing heat making the ache in her back worse. She nestled her broken wrist in her nap tenderly. Her body was healing all by itself but it was not enough.

She yelped as the fog that had briefly lifted from her mind returned.

There was no concept of time in the cell. She had lost her bearings long ago.

She chuckled wryly to herself. For all she knew she had been decaying for ages.

* * *

 

_Hermione threaded her fingers through Sirius' lush locks, her soft groans blending in with his as he ran his tongue over her lips. She shivered as his mouth dipped lower, the trail of fire he left behind with his touch casting her into oblivion._

_They parted for the briefest moments, both of them gasping for breath as the darkened night settled around them in the forest._

_He looked at her with reverance, his gaze a soft beam of light in her life._

_She clutched at his robes to capture his mouth in another sweet kiss when she felt herself pushed away roughly. She felt herself fall onto the wet ground covered with moss and ferns, her lips trembling with hurt._

_Sirius spat at her. 'Get yourself off of me, you bucktoothed know-it-all!'_

Hermione groaned, her mind still lost to the twisted fabrications of whatever kept pulling at her sanity.

_'Bye, Harry!' she said and did something she had never done before. She kissed him on the cheek._

_Harry almost grinned at her but something held him back. His lips turned into a cold sneer. 'Honestly, Granger. It's time you found yourself some friends. Stop throwing yourself at every bloke you see.'_

Her eyes struggled to open and break free from this nightmare.

_There was the smell of rot and decay in the air. The sea crashed across the shore outside the tiny Manor on the edge of the world. The sun dipped down below as the velveteen darkness grew._

_Hermione counted her breaths, her eyes wide open and her throat parched from sobbing all day. She felt herself disengage from her very being. She pulled her mind. She pulled her soul away from her body as Greyback loomed across her, his fingers poking holes in her sides, his touch burning her very skin._

_She felt her throat constrict as he advanced upon her, the gleam in his eyes predatory._

_A rustle of leaves. A warm whisper in her ear._

_'I love you, Mione,' Ron murmured softly. 'I will love you till my very last breath.'_

_Her numb fingers almost reached out for him, a harrowing sadness pitting inside her as she felt Greyback tear through her, unadulterated screams of pain rushing out of her lips as the searing burn intensified. The burn was inside her, twisting into her very core._

_Her eyes watered as Ron smiled at the atrocity before him, the warmth of his embrace not a second away and yet it felt like they were at two distant corners of the universe._

Why would Ron not help her? He had helped her. Harry and Ron had come rescued her.

Why was he watching her being torn into shreds? This wasn't her Ron. Her Ron was gone.. where was her Ron?

She grew frantic as her eyes opened, a stinging sensation building against them.

_They're taking away my mind._

The war had cost her more than it had cost many. She had been stripped of her dignity. She had been stripped of respect. She had been stripped of her humanity. She had lost things nobody could imagine. She had lost far more people than she should ever have. But all her life she had prided in one thing above all else. And now she would slowly and painfully be stripped of her mind too.

She wept until the fountain of her tears turned dry. She beat with her hands against the stone walls until her knuckles streamed blood. She screamed into the silence until exhaustion pulled her under, desperation clinging to her soul.

_What is happening to me?_

The earth would change. The people would ebb and flow. But she would remain in these confines of her sorrow for all eternity to come.

Forgotten and tossed aside.

There were fresh tears in her eyes, sniffles breaking through the ringing silence.

She imagined Harry after he won the war. Would he ever find her? Would he come? She had lived and died for him and there was never a day when she wouldn't do it again.

But she was a wisp of a girl and had nothing more to offer. She was useless and broken. No longer the brightest witch of the age. She had been reduced to nothing. Nothing.

**_No_** , a voice that wasn't her own whispereder head. **_You're letting them win._**

She gaped at the realisation. This was what they had aimed at. She was losing her mind? She was losing her rationale. She was losing herself.

She had never been the one to pray, not ever having truly believed in God. But as she lay in a puddle of her own blood, her body a battlefield of scars, she couldn't help but bring her broken wrist together with the other, her fingers clasped tight together and her eyes clenched shut.

And Hermione Granger prayed.

* * *

 

'The man had the audacity to raise his wand against you, my Lord,' a woman said.

Bellatrix, her mind screamed at her.

'Allow me to end him.'

'Ah, Bella, you don't understand. He wanted to save the girl.' Hermione felt someone gaze at her so heatedly she could feel it on her skin. 'It only helps confirm my suspicions. We have been grievous deceived. I plan to have this settled for once and for all,' he seethed. 'I need to know the scerets she's holding inside her pretty little head.'

Bellatrix sighed heavily, her voice weary and tinged with frustration. 'Rational thought in a state like this is hardly possible, my Lord. At least not for as long as it takes for her mind to adapt which should be long enough. The potions are beginning to take effect. Her memories must have already started to twist into grotesque lies by now. It shouldn't be long before we have news, Sire. She will lose all that she is. She will never be able to tell truth from the lies. She will be pushed so far into insanity we might not even have to intervene.'

_They're fake,_ she almost rejoiced. Those memories weren't memories at all. They were projections. It meant that she could fight it. She would not let them break her. She would fight and wait patiently for Harry to come save her.

She knew he would come.

'It is a terrible loss of the spitfire of a girl she is,' Voldemort chuckled.

Her mind played more tricks at her, stealing from her the opportunity to find out more. Voices turned hazy. Her delirium almost took over.

He let out a deep breath. '..I cannot hear anything. I cannot see anything. It is almost as if her mind has erected wards around itself, Bella. She is completely silent. It is a most peculiar thing. I have never heard anything like it before..'

* * *

 

_'We have to do this,' Draco whispered fervently. 'What have we got to lose anyway? Everybody's dead. We will be too soon if we don't do something, for Merlin's sake! We have to do this. We have to.'_

_Hermione felt hot tears pool into her eyes._

_Draco's body fell limoly onto the ground, his hands pushed against the two gaping wounds in his gut, his blood piteously gushing out._

_Hermione's eyes locked with his, the wind picking up. Her face crumbled._

_She turned to face Harry, his presence the only tether, his hold on her hand the only truth. She gasped as she felt her fingers slip, a gaping distance growing between them, a strangled cry rushing out of her lips._

_She turned to see as Draco's carcass was reanimated, brought back to life. His legs carried him close to her, hurtling Harry out of the way. His hands clamped around her neck as the vortex of Time pulled at her._

_She felt her breath quicken as Harry's body thrashed in the corner, her own life on borrowed time. There was a screeching cry to her right as she saw Harry's body still, the light in his eyes dim and long gone._

Hermione howled in agony, the wet trails on her cheeks a cruel understatement to her pain. She curled in on herself, choking on her own sobs as her heart split open.

'You are resilient, sister dearest,' Bellatrix cooed in her ear.

Hermione felt her shackles rising. She could hear the tapping of the older woman's booted heel against the floor. 'You have bled. You have been burned. You have been torn apart. And yet you survive. Pain lashed against your body doesn't break you, does it?'

Hermione cursed at the dizziness she felt, her mind once again beginning to lose its grasp on reality.

'.. so you decided to rebel. Ah, well, colour me surprised. I should have known. You were always weak. You rejected the age old truths of our ways. What a waste of pure blood. I lament its loss on you, I really do.

'I will break you, Hermione. You made it personal,' she laughed softly. 'You see, my darling husband is most upset with me. Now we cannot have that, can we? It really does put a dampen on things. I find myself not quite appreciating the strain on our relation that you have brought.' There was a pregnant pause. Her voice turned into strong steel again. She grabbed roughly at Hermione's chin. 'I vow to crush you, you silly bint. I will turn your mind upside down and laugh at the carnage I leave behind. You will rue the day you were born, my love. You will mourn yourself as I see your sanity leave you. You will be the ghost of who you used to be, you sweet thing. This, I vow to you.'

* * *

 

She stared listlessly into the darkness, another sore memory replaying before her eyes, the two flip sides of a coin battling for dominion.

She clutched at the short snippets of the days she remembered from her own time. She clung to them like they were their life support. Maybe in a way they were.

Harry had once asked her how long she was going to stay with him and she had whispered a silent forever in a breath's time.

Forever, she had said.

If there was a God why hadn't he told a young, eleven year old Hermione the end of her life? Perhaps she would have lived a little more. Perhaps she would have loved a little more.

Was this truly how she was supposed to go? Was this how her story ended? Was this the fruition of a life lived only in service to others?

If it was then there was a cruel God playing human in the catacombs indeed.


	65. Chapter 65

_**DISCLAIMER** _ _**. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling.** _

_Hermione sobbed, tugging at her arm, beating against her brother's vice like grip on it. Her knees scraped against the floor, blood beginning to seep out._

_'You slimy, little wench,' Rab sneered. 'You will pay for the lies you've spewed._ **I** _will make you pay.'_

_'I didn't mean to, I swear. Rab, please.. I can explain.. I can.. I'm begging you.. let me go, please, Rab.. you're hurting me.. Give me one more chance, please.. I love you, Rab, please..'_

_Rab raised his brows in mirth, his voice laced with pure hatred. 'You lied to me. You sullied my family's name. You took from me my trust and_ butchered _it. You don't deserve forgiveness. You don't deserve mercy.'_

_Hermione felt her breath hitch. 'But you.. you're not .. you dont believe in all that propaganda .. you're different, I know it .. you cared about Melinda too.. she was muggleborn, too, I know you, Rab..'_

_'She was a passing fancy; a toy. Speak only for yourself, mudblood. You will suffer for what you have done.'_

_Hermione hissed in pain, sweat dripping down her brows, her fingers reaching out instinctually around her burning back._

Hermione sighed.

_One hundred and eleven._

That was how many of her memories had already been twisted and turned into a nightmare. Although the seeds of doubt had long started to be sown, hope still lingered, tethered to her only by the weakest threads.

The worst days were when a small voice inside her head began questioning if she had traveled back in time at all. Could it be that she was simply held prisoner by her own mind? Maybe she had taken a hit to her head and lost her sanity? Maybe the war had been won and she was merely just another patient up in the psych ward of St Mungo's. It made sense, didn't it? It was highly more probable than voyaging into the past.

_No_.

She was always quick to refute any such claims. She only had to see Harry and she could breathe easy again. Harry would show her that what she had lived through was real and was not just a figment of her imagination. He would come find her. It would be soon now.

It had been long enough.

He would come soon.

Soon.

_But_ _why hasn't he already_ , a traitorous voice whispered inside her head.

* * *

 

Hermione cried herself hoarse. She should have died days ago. Hell, she should have died years ago. But life still clung to her like a disease, its gnarled and warbled fingers always clawing at her raw skin.

Perhaps if it had been Ron who had lived, the war might have already been won. All this suffering.. the pain..

It kept wearing her down.

She felt like a ghost most days. Barely slithering through the minutes slipping by her like sand through her fingers. The time dragged on and on, plucking at each of her precious memories. She had struggled against Bellatrix when she could find the will to but only in vain. Her head would always be jerked aside and her mouth forced open, the contents of her ivy poison forced down her throat as tears burned hot trails across her cheeks.

Hermione was only just holding on, Harry's face looming across her vision like the gospel truth. She kept picturing him, tracing the pandomime of criss crosses that made up his visage.

Harry was her only sanctuary.

On the good days she would dare and miss the others. She would remember the freckles that dotted Ron's face and the flaking red hair Ginny was always cording her fingers through. She would think about the twins and sometimes even her old dorm mates.

Time had been kinder then. She had been a torrent of a girl, funneling through the world of magic like a force to be reckoned with.

She would then trace patterns into the stonewall, her heart reminiscent of the long, drawn out summer days she had spent with Sirius, how his languid kisses, however few they had been, had brought her alive. She remembered the warmth James exuded and the merry mischief in Peter's eyes. She remembered the way Remus and Lily would sit together even at meals, pouring over their books and revelling in their shared reverance of the written word.

The memories would stretch and take her to another beautiful face chiseled with care. She would remember the stormy grey eyes of Regulus and smile thinking of his little feet bounding across the Lestrange Manor on the mornings of Christmas.

But life was never fair and she would then be invaded by a screeching so vile it set her blood on fire. She would see Regulus' pleading face as he begged to be redeemed. She would see Ron's body being thrown carelessly across the yard. She would see Draco's body fall, his knees giving in and his hands reaching out to the blood gushing out of his stomach, the redness intensifying with each panicked breath.

She would see Ginny's maimed body, raped and defiled by wolves that knew nothing but rage. She would see bodies and bodies and bodies. She would see how they were haplessly piled one over the other, the life long gone from their eyes, their entity being nothing more than a scornful remembrance of the people they had been.

She would see as Hogwarts fell and the world turned into a gaunter place, a heavy silence enveloping it as the darkness spread.

It was not the kind of place she remembered from her childhood. It was not the kind of place anybody ever remembered living in before.

_This_ world was what she had wrought.

There was no home.

Never a home.

Hermione smiled wryly, the sluggishness beginning to return. She sat with her back hunched, her fingers splayed out before her eyes.

Her body was getting used to its drugged state, allowing her to keep surfacing as and when she wanted. A small mercy but she would take whatever she could get. After all, she was a dying woman. There wasn't a lot she could hope for.

* * *

 

" _Forgive us now for what we've done.._

_it started out as a bit of fun.._ _Oh children_

_Lift up your voice, lift up your voice.._

_Rejoice, rejoice.."_

It was never easy to wait. It was never easy to forget. But it was most difficult when you didn't know whether to wait or forget.

She knew all would feel right the moment Harry came. But it had been too long already. Should she forget and give up on all hope?

It was tiring to keep looking up, hoping for someone who never comes.

Hermione sighed heavily into the stale air which reeked of the filth and grime that covered her body.

Sweat lined her palms as she began feeling trapped inside her head once again, slowly drifting in and out of what remained of her life.

There was no voice but her own.

It was daunting, really. There was nobody. Just her.

Reality felt like a knife driven into her heart.

* * *

 

_'Garbage! Useless.' Her father yelled. 'How do you think you could have saved us, Hermione? Who do you think you are? You think you get to own a piece of crappy wooden stick and wave_ _it around and you become the hero? You've got quiet a God complex there. How dare you take from us our memories?' His eyes turned_ _into slits as his lips thinned into a line. 'I wish you were never born. You have brought us nothing but disappointment ever since you joined that freak show of a school.'_

_Her mother sidled up to him, running a soothing circles across his back. 'Now, dear, don't let her get to you. Forget this nuisance of a girl. I will deal with her,' she smiled sacchharine sweet._

_'I will have you know you deserve nothing,' her mother spat at her. 'We paid for your education. We paid for you to go to that school of yours. We paid for everything you own. And this is how you repay us? Get out of my house! You're a worthless piece of shit! Get out! Out, I said! OUT!'_

There was a sharp stinging pain that rose up her back as it was prodded at. She felt her head burn with bleariness as something other than the dank dark coloured the back of her eyes.

She clenched her eyes shut as the brightness threatened to send her over the edge. The light was overwhelming. Her sensory deprivation came back full force, sending her nerves haywire.

She shrieked as a stranger's fingers attempted to pry her hands away from her eyes.

' _Hermione_!' Her heart skipped a beat. 'Love, it's me! Hermione.. can you hear me? It's okay.. it's just me..'

'It's me. I won't let them hurt you anymore,' her saviour whispered to her furiously. ' _It's_ okay.' Strong arms enveloped her in a hug. ' _You're_ okay.' Fingers threaded gently through the knots of her hair. ' _Everything_ is going to be okay.' A warm hand enclosed her own. 'I've got you, you hear me?'

Hermione felt her walls crumbling. Her lips trembled as the world crashed around her. Dry sobs heaved through her body as she threw herself into her brother's arms, placating the disbelief inside her heart.

'Thank..,' her throat burned from the disuse. 'Thank you.. thank you .. I .. I've been so.. so alone,' she rasped. She opened her eyes slowly, the brightness around her still unnerving. There was a blinding red haze that clouded her vision slowly beginning to piece away. The stone room looked bleak, tiny. It was barely bigger than a prison cell. The door to it lay wide open, only dull light streaming through, bringing along with it a cold wind that lapped against her bare skin, making goosebumps ignite up her arms and legs.

'I know and I am sorry,' his eyes shut close, his forehead pressed against hers. 'I am so, _so_ sorry for acting like this godforsaken piece of slime, Hermione. I let them do this to you,' his breath hitched. 'I stood and watched you bleed.' He whispered, 'I let them do it.'

Hermione felt the wetness in her eyes grow. There she was only moments from her tirade of self destruction, staring now into the dark pools of her unexpected saviour.

'You came back, Rodolphus,' she croaked out. 'That's .. _**that's**_ what I'll always remember you by.. you came back.. you came back.. you came for me..'. A sudden desperation washed over her as she once again clung close to him, fisting his robes in her hands and sobbing soundlessly into his chest, the weight of her torment surging her on. 'You came back.. you came for me..' She cried as he rocked her gently, always mindful of her back.

'I know, love.. I will never again let anybody hurt you. I'm so, so sorry. Please.. please forgive me..'

'You came back,' she kept repeating herself, as if a loop had struck a chord inside her mind, her eyes unfocused and vacant. 'You came back.'

Rodolphus frowned as he felt her fall limp against him, her lips still moving but no voice coming out. 'Hermione, love, it's time to leave. We don't have very long. I have been trying to get to you for days now. It was only today that Narcissa was finally able to help me out. She told me Lucius will be visiting soon though. Now is the only chance we might get. We need to leave now lest we arouse suspicion.'

Hermione's lips trembled. 'I .. I don't care,' she whispered. 'Let me die here.. I don't care.. you came back.. you came back for me.. I don't have to die alone anymore.. you came for me..'

Rodolphus pulled away just slightly so he could look carefully at her.. truly look at her. Her skin was pallid and devoid of her usual glow. The circles hung low and dark beneath her eyes, her hair matted to her face with blood and sweat. All colour washed away from his face as he murmured somberly to himself. 'It is exactly as I feared. Look at what they've done to you..

'Hermione,' he said firmly, bringing out a small vial from the insides of his robes. 'We don't have long. Please, come with me.'

Hermione's brows furrowed as she looked around herself.

_Yes_. Yes, she had to leave. Rodolphus had come back for her. She had to leave and get to Harry.

_Harry!_

She wobbled on her feet as her scarred hands reached out to the wall for support. She felt her knees give in as she buckled and fell into Rodolphus' arms.

His eyes filled up as he whispered, his voice broken and weary. 'Look at what they've done to you.. they toyed with your mind like a child's play. Oh, Hermione..'

Hermione shut her eyes tight as she spat out, her voice inching towards pure malice, 'Don't talk about it.' Then, gently. 'Please don't..'

Rodolphus steeled his nerves, nodding to himself. He removed the lid that covered the vial and held it up to her. ' _Drink_. It won't be enough but it will do the job for now.'

Hermione, her relief at seeing another face, _any_ face, all too fresh, was still weary of potions and concoctions. The hair on her arms rose as the sight of a sneering Ron graced her vision.

'What is it?' She asked nervously.

'Have a little faith, love. It's only just a replenishment potion. It should help you walk. Lord knows how long your muscles have been stiff and sore. Your body will need a long time to recuperate but that is something we are incredibly short of at the moment.'

Hermione felt her fists curl as all the nightmarish memories haunted at the outskirts of her mind. She had to get out. She had to get to Harry. She took a deep breath before downing the contents of the vial, feeling a sudden rush of energy and clarity hit her.

The light became a lot less daunting and the sounds of the crashing waves somewhere outsidd no longer felt like a dull throb against her head.

She squinted as Rodolphus began pulling her outside, even the dull light a stark brightness against the constant black she had lived her life in this long, long time. Her eyes wandered over the large landscape of barren land. The sea washed across the ridges of the cliff violently as the waves shook.

She staggered as she took in the dreariness of the stranded island she had been imprisoned in, each crashing wave another shackle on her soul. She felt Rodolphus grip her fingers tight and pull her across the vastness of the dry land, interspersed with sea greens, the towering palisades of solid rock awash with the thunder of the rumbling clouds above.

'A storm is brewing,' Rodolphus murmured, jumping over wide arches, constantly turning back to make sure his sister was really there, his steps still hurdled by the guilt that threatened to pull him asunder. He marveled numbly at the cold blooded man he had become. How easy had it been for him to singlehandedly bring about the destruction of his own family. How easy had it been to give in to the dark.

Hermione's breathing turned ragged, her legs once again beginning to lose all feeling. Images of dark and dainted memories crawled back inside her mind, devoid of any rationale.

Rodolphus cursed as his foot caught trap into a thick knot of weeds.

'Why did you..,' her throat still ached, 'why did you come?'

Rodolphus sighed heavily. 'I would have been here sooner if not for Bella..,' he backtracked, 'if not for _Bellatrix_. She does not place enough faith in me and for good reason, too. It is only because of Narcissa that I could find you. She had been trying to get to me for sometime now. She risked _everything_ by coming here today with me. We will meet with her soon now.. right there by the treeline,' he pointed with his fingers.

Hermione squinted into the distance, the scapeline a blur against her vision. She cast longing eyes at the charcoal sky, her heaving breaths fogging. 'How long..,' she mumbled, 'how long has it been?'

Rodolphus paused before turning to look at her, with something akin to a sorrowful regret in his tear filled eyes. 'It has been long enough.. Hermione, I might never get to say this but I truly feel that I ..'

'My, my.. look at that,' a sultry voice drawled from the Lestranges' right. 'What do we have here?'

'I cannot believe this .. atrocity,' Bellatrix whispered in horror, her face ashen and her eyes downcast in shame and embarrassment. 'My very own husband..'

Rodolphus tightened his jaw, a look of consternation passing over his face. 'You are no longer family to me, Bellatrix. Not even my love for you could ever persuade me to forgive you for what you have done. You ripped apart the family I owe everything to. You turned me into a _monster_.'

Bellatrix seemed to have heard none of it however for she went on, her hands wringing in nervousness, true fear explicit in her hooded eyes. 'No, we have time yet.. this can be undone.. _Lucius_ ,' she turned to him, 'we are all one big family. You must help us. We cannot let the Dark Lord know of my husband's foibles. No, no we mustn't let that happen. I will save our family's name, don't you worry, Rodolphus.'

Rodolphus tightened his grip on his wand. 'Did you not understand what I just said to you? You mean nothing to me. You mean nothing. This marriage is done for. I release you from whatever boundations you have to me.'

Lucius placed a comforting hand on the woman's shoulder. 'Get a hold of yourself, Bella. The man is possessed. The girl has obviously dabbled with his senses. Rodolphus is lost to her viles. He has betrayed the Dark Lord, the true holder of all your love and adorations. Do not let the fickleness of your heart deceive you. You are loyal to none but our Master.'

Bellatrix's pained eyes flashed in fury as she stared hard at Hermione, her voice cold and unforgiving. 'You will pay for this, you bitch. _CRUCIO_!'

Hermione jumped to the side, her knees scraping against the jagged rocks, new tears forming along her already tattered robes.

Rodolphus raised his wand in defiance, his mouth forming quick words as spells fired on either side. A maddening rage overcame his features as he whirled round and round, protecting both himself and his sister against the deadly forces that threatened their existence.

'Looks like it's kill or be killed, Lestrange, my man.' Lucius sneered. 'It is going to be such a shocker to the Dark Lord how the entirety of you lot turned out to be nothing but lying rats. Not what one might expect from one of the oldest and the purest families, I must say. Pity,' he drawled, making the hair on Hermione's skin rise.

A snicker rose up his throat, revealing the sinister look in his eyes, leering down at Hermione. 'You never stop, do you? Always creating such a ruckus.'

Hermione gulped, acutely aware of her defenceless state what with her wand stolen away, her clothes half ripped and her mind addled. It was only the rush of adrenaline pushing her body to move. Fear was the sole barrier that kept her from falling completely apart, the frayed nerves in her body on full alert.

' _HERMIONE, HIDE_!' Rodolphus yelled as he flicked his wrist at the incursion of dark spells shooting out the wands of the small band of Death Eaters.

Memories worth years sparked her body into coming alive in a peculiar manner of magic as she crouched low, her chapped fingernails digging into her palms as she crawled to find cover behind a patch of rocks. She bit her lip as she plucked at the strings of her magical core, attempting to channel her powers wandlessly but her body had been drained so thoroughly of her vitals that even looking for crumbs of magic was a herculean task.

The air vibrated with the cracks of dark magic filling it up. Hermione saw as the three dark robed Death Eaters skirted around each other in a wicked dance of wits. Being so close to Rodolphus as she was, she could hear the strain in his breathing as the combined efforts of two of the most skilled Death Eaters began to wear him down. Sweat trickled down his temples as his arms flailed around in a flurry of attacks.

The two Death Eaters stood at least a couple hundred yards away, flashes of sparks lighting up the darkening sky.

As raindrops thundered down the raging cliff stood over a howling sea, Hermione plundered through her memories, each one bringing to her mind the faces of people she had loved. She could feel Death coming for her as she sat still, barely minutes past the intruders' mess.

There was a resounding howl of magic battling against magic as she saw Rodolphus dive towards her, his breathing a ragged mess and his face resembling that of a beast.

'Come out and play with me, dear husband,' Bellatrix roared over the storm, her own breaths heavy.

Rodolphus' eyes softened as he took in the form of his shivering sister, sat cowering behind a bare rock. He pressed a gentle hand against her cheek. 'You have to run now,' he whispered fervently. 'Run while I make a distraction for you. Find Narcissa. She will lead you to safety. You must be quick on your step, now, Mi. _Run_!'

Hermione's lips trembled as she shook her head, a mix of fear and longing keeping her rooted to the spot.

'This is not the time, Hermione, for Merlin's sake, _RUN_!'

'It's hardly a fair fight,' she mumbled, skipping over words in her hurry. 'They will crush you,' she croaked out.

'What is it, Lestrange?' Lucius yelled. 'Hiding under your sister's skirts, are you? Come out and face us like the man you ought to be.'

Rodolphus sighed as he chanced a quick glance around the rock. His eyes were clouded in horror. 'Hermione, please.. just go..'

'I can't..', she begged. 'You saved me .. I can't just run away.. I can't leave you for dead..'

He shut his eyes, anguish clear on his face. 'What I did today for you does not make me a good man, Hermione. It doesn't erase all the sins I have committed. I have much to atone for.'

Thunder broke apart whatever words came out of his mouth next.

'No, it doesn't,' she said. 'But it does make you a better man than you already are,' she flung her arms around him.

Something broke inside him then, his face transforming into that of a man living under the weight of a lifetime of regrets.

'I am already done for, Mi.' His voice turned into a gentle sombre of quiet. 'My fight is over. Yours isn't.' He pushed her firmly away. 'Live your life to the fullest, sister and look after your brother, alright? You two must care for each other. Live for me. You must live, Mi or this will be for naught.. you must live..'

A childlike voice broke out of her as memories of a five year old Hermione brushed against her consciousness of how a skinny teenager would kiss away the blemishes on her knees after each fall.

' _Rolf_..,' she whispered, hating herself for crying lest he draw more fear from her desolation.

'That is it. I am coming for you,' Bellatrix cackled.

Rodolphus' eyes filled up as he enunciated each word. 'You. Must. Live. _RUN_!'

Hermione sobbed as her knees wobbled. She looked at her brother's retreating back, her helplessness a curse. Never before had Hermione Granger felt so curelly pathetic. Never before had she walked away from a dying man.

Each step was heavier than the last as she kept her form pressed to the ground and inched slowly towards the treeline still almost half a mile away, her body looming dangerously towards the very edge of the humongous cliff.

Something felt so invalid as desperation tugged at her heartstrings. It wasn't fair. None of it was. What had she done to reap such harrowing pains? Why had she been made to feel more pain that a human body could? What grievous sin had she commited?

Her thoughts remained a jungle of concrete sobs as she pulled herself away from the screams behind her. The gut wrenching cries of pain that reached her ears were so painfully familiar that she almost stopped and went back into the throes of the battle despite her utterly useless self.

The mud kept giving away making her slip once every few minutes. The rain still plundered through, the water rippling over to the side and falling into the deep sea, stones and loose rocks tumbling down with it.

A yell of surprise broke her out of her reverie. Her blood ran cold as her eyes fell upon Lucius, his body drenched and looming over hers but his eyes trained forward.

'Cissa?' He called out. 'What are you doing here? You should be home. I instructed you _never_ to follow me.'

Hermione gasped as she saw a round bellied, golden haired woman step out of the woods now only a few yards away, an entirely new kind of fear of being betrayed growing deep inside her.

She felt placated however when Narcissa looked to be on the verge of breaking down, her mind conflicted, her eyes flinging over Hermione's pathetic form every second or so.

Lucius' gaze travelled over to Hermione's body still crawling towards safety. He raised his wand. 'Very well. Here lies the core of all our problems. So be it. _Cru_..'

' _Expelliarmus_!'

Lucius' wand shot out of his hand and fell over the cliff side. He looked up at his wife, startled. ' _Narcissa_!' He yelled, surprised and outwitted. 'Why would you .. what.. I don't understand..'

'I can't let you do this, Lucius,' Narcissa stated firmly.

Lucius was baffled. 'You would go against your own husband for a filthy blood traitor?' He made an odd noise of disgust at the back of throat as he turned to Hermione. He bent at his waist and wrapped his hands around the witch's neck, dragging her along to the very edge, leaving her perched such that her head hung below.

Hermione let out a startled cry as she tugged at Lucius' hands, her nails scraping against his skin. She felt lightheaded as he straddled her, strengthening his grip.

'Lucius, step away from her,' Narcissa begged. 'Please.. you will kill her,' she cried desperately, her wand tight in her grip and yet she dared not make a move.

Tears slipped past Hermione's eyes as the ringing in her ears grew louder. She beat against Lucius' grip, her knees shoving into his belly. She let her fingers go limp as her hands sought the muddy ground for help, hunting for anything that might free her. As her fingers wound around a sharp rock she hurled it at the man, making him stagger for the smallest fraction of a second in which she pushed him away and crawled away.

She looked on helplessly as he put a hand to his head, blood trickling down with the rain. His eyes turned murderous as Narcissa stepped before him, her nimble hands trying to push him away. He shoved her aside, losing all his bearings, indifferent to the cries of his wife as his prey lingered still alive before his eyes.

He marched forward like a madman. He plucked inside his robes to reveal a dangerously sharp dagger, the hilt of which was painted ivory white.

Hermione held her breath as she saw him approach, the flimsy rock in her hands that she had used as a poor excuse of a weapon already trodden away from her. Her already weak body was stepping even deeper into exahustion, her mind that had been toyed with for so long beginning to shut down again.

There was no escape. She remembered how she had once learned to fly but magic had failed her miserably that night. Resigned to her fate, she raised her arms in defence but was ruthlessly thwarted. She sunk into a hazy state of pain as the dagger slashed through her skin, hot red blood gushing out shamelessly.

'NO!' Narcissa cried out, ' _Immobilus_! _Prohibere_! _Stabit_!' She fired spell after spell and yet not one hit the target in her frenzied state.

There was a monstrously loud howl somewhere in the distance which made Hermione gasp. Her pain almost doubled as she heard her brother cry out, his last breaths already arrived.

Only moments and Bellatrix would be upon them. She would prolong her torment miserably so. Hermione felt along her wound as she cast her eyes to the sky. It was clear what was coming next and there was no running away. Her time had run out.

The impending was inevitable. She smiled almost faintly as a bolt of lightning forked through the midnight blue sky.

_Lightening_.. _Oh, Harry.._

How fitting for her to go out this way.

_H_ _arry.. I am so sorry._

Lucius dashed towards her as she contemplated her next move. She stumbled into the darkness, her feet definite on her way to the edge, ready to take her final flight into the abyss and into the arms of Death but there was a blinding flash of light and a resounding thud.

Hermione's mind kept pulling her under. She forced open her eyes to see Lucius decapitated and fallen over a log of wood, a grimace over his contorted face.

Narcissa stood over him, her voice pleading. 'Please .. please stop this madness..'

Lucius thrashed wildly onto the ground, shoving her away with force.

Hermione struggled with words. She wrapped her arms limply around Narcissa's middle, 'We have .. to go.. now.. come with me.. your son.. protect.. come..'

Narcissa howled in agony as she let herself be dragged away, both women a mangled mess of weak limbs and sore muscles.

'Can you.. Apparate?' Hermione asked in a hushed tone, her hand pressed tight against her wounded belly. 'We.. we have to leave.. Narcissa.. your sister.. she will be here any minute now.. Rolf is probably gone and we.. she will kill us both.. your child .. protect your son.. we have to go..'

Narcissa whimpered as she clutched at her wand. She intertwined her fingers with Hermione's, trying to calm her nerves but nothing could soothe her. 'We will end up splinching ourselves this way.. Hermione, I can't.. I can't do it.. I ..'

'We.. we have to leave.. Narcissa.. your sister.. she will be here any minute now.. Rolf is probably gone and we.. she will kill us both.. your child .. protect your son.. we have to go..'

'I am so sorry..'

Hermione felt her body lurch as Narcissa lost consciousness, falling to the ground.

She cursed as she grabbed Narcissa's wand from her, closing her eyes to the world and focusing on a destination when she felt a white hot slash of pain climb up the tears across her back.

'Lestrange! Where do you think you're taking my wife?' Lucius thundered.

Hermione's eyes glanced over at the wand in her hand. _One last stand,_ she told herself. _One last fight._

Summoning the last bit of the threadbare strength she had left, she inched the wand in her hand towards Lucius' face, catching him by surprise at her momentary steadiness, and whispered, ' _Avada Kedavra_!'

The green light hit him square.

The rain pelted at the earth and the soil once baked hard gave away as he lost his footing, his body tumbling over the edge, the depths of the tempestuous sea plunging him into eternal darkness.

Hermione's body fell, the blood from her stab wound still seeping out, all her energy wiped out.

There were screeches in the air from the raging storm.

_This is it._

She gave in to her crumbling soul.

_This is it for me._

All sound faded away as the world grew calm. The rain still hit her and the winds still howled unleashed and yet the disconcerting quiet grew in the shape of a turbulent force inside her.

_Draco_..

She had to save Draco. After all that he had done for her..

_Draco._

_No!_

_NO!_

_**NO!** _

She pushed her body awake.

_Come on! Please don't fail me now.. please.._

_.. destination.. determination.. deliberation.._

_Come on.. please.._

_.. determination.. deliberation.._

The visage of a beautiful golden haired man invaded her dimming vision. She might have mistaken him for an angel har she not known him.

_The Admiral_.

She was going to die .. he would finish the deed.. Bellatrix had called for help and now she was going to die .. she had failed herself.. she had failed Draco..

She felt the Admiral's cold touch against her chest as his fingers pried at a forgotten heirloom hidden inside her cleavage.

Hermione's brows marred in confusion as the Admiral took hold of her fingers and wrapped them tightly around the emerald pendant her grandfather had gifted her what seemed like eons ago.

' _Hush now, my love_ ,' he whispered, his voice a sweet velveteen melody.

There was a sad smile playing at the his lips as he pressed her fingers even tighter, a gentle brush of his touch against her eyes.

The world spun on its axis as she felt Narcissa's weight combine with hers, their bodies spinning into a void of black, the unseen future of the three souls wrapped tight into a knot.

__

__


	66. Chapter 66

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

'You should eat, Remus. The full moon's right around the corner.'

'I don't have much of an appetite, Lily, I'm sorry..,' Remus trailed off, through a half hearted attempt at putting his thoughts into words.

'You can't keep going on this way, come on, eat up. You need to keep your strength,' Lily stressed.

Harry heard someone sigh deeply from his vantage point right outside the parlour in the hideout currently being used to look for Hermione. They had spent the last twenty three days, sleeping and eating and spending each waking hour in the small house. He observed the scene quietly from his place, his fists curled tightly around the lion head of his cane, dark circles beneath his eyes and a barely restrained rage hiding under his skin.

It was a strange conglomeration of people considering the recent events. The events that had transpired with the Death Eaters in regards with Peter had already been concrete proof for the Lestranges' innocence and following the night Hermione had been attacked Harry, too, had come out and revealed himself as the leader of the Resistance to the Marauders.

It had been Dumbledore who had brought them together to figure out a way to bring her back. The situation did require a collective effort but Harry couldn't help it if there was a traitorous part of him that kept screaming at the absurdity of it all.

Hermione was his to protect. She was his responsibility however selfish and unfair it might sound. The people in the room barely even knew her, all that she had achieved and all that she had lost. It was true Hermione had drifted apart from her friends for their own good but the ease with which they had forsaken her burnt a hole in Harry's heart even though they happened to be the people be most desired to be with. He couldn't let them be absolved so effortlessly.

The restlessness at the base of his gut kept growing with each passing day. Not a minute went by when he didn't think of her. He hadn't felt this helpless in a very long time. How could he have when Hermione had always been with him, coming up with solutions for all the trivialities of the war. It felt morbidly like the time Hermione had been captured soon after Hogwarts' fall in the original timeline. He could still picture the emptiness in her eyes when Charlie Weasley had wrapped his arms around her and carried her out of Malfoy Manor, her clothes torn to shreds and her dignity stolen away. It had taken her days to recover from the vacant look that had haunted her since.

He sighed heavily, sending out prayer after prayer to keep her safe. He couldn't lose her. Not after everything they had been through. Merlin forbid if he did, Harry was bound to crash and fall. The very idea of the world without Hermione in it sent shivers up his spine.

He heard heavy footfalls inside the room, hushed tones conversing with each other, waiting for Rab to arrive for the meeting to begin.

Harry had decided to stay out of sight until he absolutely had to reveal himself. It wasn't pleasant to be in the company of others, not even if it meant he could spend time with his family.

The first few days had been intimidating. He had skirted around everyone, trying to figure out where he stood. But his worry over Hermione had soon squashed any desire he had of being close with his parents. There might be an opportunity later if the fates allowed it, he told himself.

So to avoid the pain of being on the outside looking in, he chose isolation. It was better for him to be left alone when all he could do was obsess. Nobody needed to bear the burden of an obsessive Harry, he felt.

There was a sudden movement and Harry heard someone smash their fist against the wall.

'We're not doing enough! It's been over three weeks. Three weeks! And we are nowhere even close to finding her.' A slight pause. And then in a desperate plea Sirius cried out, 'Merlin knows what they're doing to her.'

Lily took a deep breath, once again stepping up to be the anchor for them all. 'Sirius, we've been over this. We're doing everything we can. Every person in this room cares for her. Nobody is happy that she's gone. For Merlin's sake, we've infiltrated the Malfoy Manor _thrice_. Harry nearly lost his arm in getting out of that place safely. We were so close to losing Remus to the Death Eaters! We may be out of ideas at the moment but we _will_ find her.' She placed her arm gently around his waist, 'Trust me, we will. Dumbledore's in it too. I'm sure he's going to find a way if we can't.'

'I don't know, Lily,' Sirius threw himself into the sofa. 'I just worry that by the time we have it figured out there may not be anyone left to save..'

'You can't afford to think like that, mate,' James said, his voice reassuring. 'The moment you do everything will already have been lost.'

'What am I supposed to do then?' Sirius wrung his heads through his hair. 'Years we spent shunning her, dreading her, resenting her when it should have been plain for us to see thay she was putting her life on risk every day. I mean we were her friends, Prongs! If not us then who would have helped her? I was her friend and I failed to notice her.. I failed .. I failed her.. I failed her..'

Harry felt his own heart break a little as he heard the muffled gasps of his godfather, a tremble rising up his throat.

'Padfoot, don't blame yourself,' Peter mumbled somberly. 'It wasn't just you who failed her. We all did. You're being too hard on yourself. We're all to be equally blamed.'

'To even think of what she's been through,' James sighed, moving to stand by the fireplace, his voice sounding crushed. 'Spending every moment on the lookout with nobody, _nobody_ to have her back. I can't imagine the toll it takes on someone.'

'But she wasn't alone,' Remus whispered.

Everyone's eyes whipped onto his face. Remus seemed to not have noticed his slip. He hadn't meant to say it out aloud.

He breathed slowly through his nose. He said quietly, 'She wasn't alone. We may have abandoned her. We may have left her to fend for herself but she wasn't alone. She had Harry.' He looked away, 'We don't deserve to feel this way.. we,' he paused, pain lacing his voice, 'we don't deserve any part of her .. least of all her forgiveness.'

There was a rustling of papers. Harry held his breath, unsure if he should leave. This wasn't something meant for his ears. He couldn't stay and lay witness to their most private feelings.

James shifted his feet, the exahustion in his voice clear. 'Okay, you lot, that's enough now. We need a clear head to even hope to figure out what to do next. We owe it to Hermione. All this time she's been saving our necks, all of our lives, and now it's our turn to return the favour. So buckle up. For her sake.'

He reached out his hand to pat Sirius gently, who sat quietly in a corner, his back turned on the others. 'You need to be strong, mate,' he said.

Sirius merely shrugged his shoulders, leaning onto the backrest and rubbing his hands over his face tiredly.

James looked helplessly towards Remus and Peter, both of whom merely stood up, their heads hung in shame and their steps quiet and slow.

There was the sound of someone Apparating, alerting Harry to rise on his feet and head towards the door. Seeing a haggard looking Rab enter, his gloomy eyes shadowed and his shoulders hunched, Harry rushed to grasp him by the hand and usher him inside the parlour.

The Marauders shared a look amongst themselves, their shame heightening as they looked at the older Lestrange and his weary steps. Another bout of guilt at the way they had treated him and his sister wracked their bodies.

Lily cleared her throat loudly and announced, 'Dumbledore won't be able to make it tonight. He's busy with some Order business.'

She waited hesitantly for someone to say something, an overwhelming desperation leaking through her stance.

'Any new leads? Any ideas?'

'We've been through them all,' Rab muttered, his voice defeated. He stood unmoving to the side, blending in with the shadows, a haunted look in his eyes.

'There's only one way left now, isn't there?' Sirius called out into the deafening silence. 'We get our hands on one of those bastards and torture it out of them.'

Remus chastised him gently, 'You know we can't do that.'

'And why the hell not?' Sirius yelled. 'We can't keep playing by the rulebook, for Merlin's sake. I don't care what it takes. I'll do it.'

'I don't have a problem with it either,' Peter asserted. 'We're already on our last resort. We've done our fair share of hurting. We're doomed as it is. Might as well go all the way.'

'You know Dumbledore won't allow it,' Lily cried out.

'To hell with him then!' Sirius hollered. 'He's not the one paying the price, is he?'

'Sirius, control yourself,' James said sternly. 'Don't take that tone with her.'

Harry saw the palpating distress in his mother's eyes, leaving a soft pang in his heart. He couldn't remember how long it had been since he had said something aloud, having chosen to stay quiet if not absolutely necessary. It was better that way.

His own voice felt strange and rough around his words. 'There might be a way,' he said softly, grasping at the edges now, the helplessness in his mother's gait pushing him to spill.

He saw as everybody's head whipped into his direction except for Rab who kept listlessly staring outside at the darkening sky, his hopelessness evident.

'What are you talking about?' Sirius frowned, his body jumping into action. 'We'll do it.'

Harry shuffled onto his feet clumsily, his body overstrained with stress. He looked at the forlorn expression on his godfather's face, the angry glint in his eyes burning, so reminiscent of the older Sirius Black he had loved.

'Whatever the risk, I'll do it,' Sirius whispered.

Harry nodded tightly, moving to stand before Rab, his sole presence demanding him to look into his eyes despite the uncertainty he felt. But he needed to get it out. He needed to voice it so he could share his burdens. The weight of this idea that he spent all his time ruthlessly obsessing about was pushing him into the swirls of insanity and he didn't know how long he could take it.

He observed how Rab remained still, his thoughts turned inwards.

Struggling with the knowledge of what he was about to say, Harry took in a deep breath, the desperation in his being leaking out into his words. 'We make an exchange.'

The effect was instantaneous. Rab stormed onto his feet, the chair he had only just sat in clattering to the floor with a loud noise. There was a fear rampant in his eyes.

He dared not hope.

'There is nothing else that I can think about,' Harry said carefully, his eyes regarding everybody around him. 'We have played our cards. We have tried everything there was to do. But in order for me to do it, I'm going to need help.'

Sirius shifted, sharing a tense look with James, both of their eyes trained onto the foreign man.

Harry moved to stand in the very center of the room, the cold winter night seeping through his bones. Before he could even begin to explain he felt a tight grip on his arm. He turned around slowly, shame beginning to surround him.

'Could you do it?' Rab bit out. 'Do you have it in you to do it?'

The Marauders saw the strange scene unfurl silently, the confusion evident in their faces.

'What's going on? What are you not telling us?' Peter said in a rush. 'What is it? What can we do? How can we save her?'

Harry ignored everyone, shying away from the accusation in Rab's eyes.

'It's your call, Harry, but do you really think you can go ahead with it?' Rab's voice was laced with a barely concealed yearning to do the deed, however insane. He let out a soft gasp, incredulity marring his expression. He let go of Harry's hand, laughing to himself like a madman. 'That's false hope and you know it,' he spat. 'Don't play with their feelings, Harry. And above all don't play with your own.'

Rab moved to stand away, reflecting once again inside himself, the emptiness inside his heart croaking against his chest. He pitied Harry, he really dis but that didn't stop him from marvelling at the lengths be was ready to go to but it was all in vain this time around.

He would not hope.

'She's worth it,' Harry said in a small voice.

Rab turned to look at him sharply. 'One life against so many? The Chosen One could never do it. _You_ could never do it.' He grabbed onto the edge of the table as his scornful laughter turned into dry sobs, his heaving shoulders trembling and his sharp breaths loud and clear to every occupant in the room, igniting in them a feeling of great helplessness. 'Even if you did she would never forgive you..and you couldn't live with that.. _Hermione_ couldn't live with that.'

Harry let out an inhumane growl then and thundered, 'What in the world am I supposed to do then? I can't just sit here doing nothing! It's eating me alive! It's killing me! She's here, she's alive and she's in pain but I can do nothing!' He felt his eyes fill up as his hand gripped the top of his cane tightly, 'I can do nothing!'

Rab gulped audibly, avoiding looking Harry in the eye.

Harry's voice turned wild and crazy, his hands thrown up on the air. 'Do you have any idea what it feels like to lose _everything_? Your family .. your friends .. your whole damn life right down to the reason you keep holding onto hope. I lost everything! Do you have any idea what that feels like? I'm sitting here, helplessly watching as the one last person that I care about is inching closer to Death day after day after day. _Do you?!'_

James cleared his throat, tugging at Lily's hand, pulling her away and motioning for the others to follow.

Sirius looked reluctant but something inside him allowed to relent. He let himself be dragged away by Remus, every part of him rioting.

Heeeded to know. He needed to know if there was something he could do, whatever it was, however impossible, however dangerous.

Harry barely noticed as the room emptied, leaving only a haggard looking Rab, now stumped over the chair he had been sitting in, his eyes downcast and his throat constricted with emotion.

'I have lost everything I held dear, Rabastan,' his voice turned mellow. 'I lost my parents. I lost the second best thing I had to a parent. I lost my friends. I lost every damn thing I could have ever cared about and now I'm going to lose her. I can't let that happen,' he shook his head, his voice a bare whisper. 'I can't lose her too.'

Rab looked up slowly, each step levelled and measured. He opened his mouth almost as if to say something but he shut it before a single sound could escape. A strange silence enveloped the two, the heavy steps on the floor above the only indication of life inside the little cottage.

Rab pressed a hand against his chest, the other wringing through his hair. His voice turned somber, losing the hardened tone from before as he faced Harry. 'You can't give up, mate. Not just yet. You can't do that.'

Harry snorted through his tears, dropping down into his armchair. 'I know it's reckless and stupid. I can't.. I can't give away the Horcruxes to save her but Merlin forbid, I want to. It's the only thing I can think about and I'm so, _so_ scared that I'll do it. If I don't find her soon, Rab, I'll do it and I'll spend the rest of my cursing myself but I'll do it.. I know you want me to. I know I shouldn't but I.. I swear.. I _swear_ I'll do it..'

Rab looked on as Harry bowed his head, sobs making their way through his chest and choking his breath as he cried in a way he had never allowed himself to before. The sounds of his cries grew louder, each a dagger to Rab's heart, his own eyes beginning to well up. He extended a tentative arm around the raven haired man but stepped away, almost burned as Harry jerked away.

'Harry, please.. I'm sorry..'

A stab of shame passed through Rab as he remembered his promise of being family to the boy. He had spent days drowning in his own misery, forgetting for a while that there was a man in pain greater than he could ever imagine at having lost his last remaining family.

Harry let out a soft breath. A sudden change overcame him as he smiled almost wistfully, his eyes glazing over, his mind taking him to the distant past. 'I have been fortunate in having so many people care for me, you know? I may have lost my parents but I have been loved. Most of all by her.'

Rab's ears perked up. Harry and Hermione never talked about their past almost as a rule. Something had surely snapped inside Harry.

'She was always my fiercest friend. Never backed down from a challenge, that one. Even at my worst, she stuck around.' His voice grew quieter. 'There was a time when .. when R.. when Ron left us and considering how much in love Hermione was with him I'd thought I'd be losing both of my best friends the same night. But she stuck with me. She stuck with me through everything. The first few years that I spent here alone was the first time I truly realised how much it meant to me that I always had her to look out for me. To have someone to take the burden of my fights away from me. Every time she took my word as the gospel. I have never seen a woman more loyal than her. _Never_.

'I can't imagine fighting the rest of the way without her, Rab,' he whispered, his words breaking and crumbling at the end. 'I can't do it.'

Rab sighed heavily, patting Harry's knee gently. 'Don't speak of her as if she's dead, Harry. She's out there. We will bring her back.'

Harry sniffed, using his sleeves to wipe away the tears in his eyes, an action so childish that it almost brought a smile to Rab's face. However, it didn't take longer than a second for it to fall when he realised the man, already crossing thirty, had never truly had a childhood to speak of. How rarely had it been that he had been allowed to break down and fall apart a little?

'She's not gone,' Harry breathed out. 'She's never gone. She wouldn't dare leave me,' he laughed awkwardly. 'Question is, what do we do now?'

'We do better,' Rab mumbled somberly. 'Are you with me?'

The corners of his mouth quirked up into a sad smile, 'For Hermione?' He whispered, ' _Always_.'

Harry rubbed his hands together, getting back onto his feet. 'You should get some rest too, Rab. You need it. Go on.'

Rab's brows furrowed. 'No. You're asking me to leave so you can brood here all by yourself. I'm not leaving you alone.'

'I'm going to head to bed soon myself,' Harry replied. 'You don't have to worry about me tonight. Trust me. I just .. I need a moment alone and I'll be getting along too, I promise.'

'Harry,' he called out hesitantly. 'I miss her too. I miss seeing her face first thing in the morning. My entire life I have never known love as I have known it with her. She has been the reason for my existence for as long as I can remember and I promise this to you that I will _never_ rest until she is safe again.'

'You are a braver man than I thought,' Harry reflected somberly.

Rab smiled sadly, a strange depth in his eyes. 'This is what this war forced me to be.' Nodding his head reluctantly and a deep breath blowing out his lips, he turned around. Sparing one last glance at Harry, he stepped out of the ivory painted room and towards the stairs.

Harry watched him go, his lips pursed into a tight line. He closed his eyes, walking towards the window and opening it to let the wind inside. As the cold lapped against his skin he felt his heart burn, Hermione's face imprinted into his mind.

He stood still at the window sill for minutes at an end, not a muscle in his body moving. His breaths had evened out but his eyes looked hollow, fixated on the unchanging English landscape outside as a storm began to brew.

It wasn't fair.

Life wasn't fair.

He couldn't remember the last time he had felt complete. Had it been as offhanded a moment as celebrating a Quidditch victory? Or had it been when he had kissed Ginny full on the lips, his fingers wrapped around the ring that bound her to him?

When was the last time he had known true happiness?

Whenever it had been, it seemed to have been eons ago. His loneliness had crept upon him like a fickle monstrosity from under a child's bed. Losing Hermione had unlocked inside him the feelings of destitution he had suffered from the years he had spent alone in this new time and yet they had passed by in hopes of seeing her again.

But now he had nothing. All his hope had been squashed. He had ripped apart Malfoy Manor. He had caused a havoc across the Lestranges' residence. He had plundered through all of Death Eater hideouts and yet he couldn't find her.

He knew she wasn't gone. Not yet. She couldn't be. He was sure he would know. The ritual would keep him bound to her but it was no balm. His heart ached at the thought of what she must be going through. He would have given anything, anything in the world, to switch places with her, to take away all of her pain.

He couldn't picture it. He couldn't even begin to imagine what life would be like without Hermione. What it would be like to be truly and so frighteningly alone.

His mind travelled to dark and murky thoughts he couldn't shake off. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the sting of the cold wing against his skin. He knew he was clinging too close to his pain and that it would bring him nothing but turmoil but he truly felt that he deserved it. He deserved it after having caused Hermione's life to shatter around herself. If there was someone to be blamed then it was him and him alone. He knew she would never abandon him and her love for him would end up killing her and yet he remained so utterly selfish. Why couldn't he just let her go? Why couldn't he free her of the shackles that bound her to him?

He hung his head as fresh tears pooled into his eyes, his lips trembling. It felt the hardest in moments when he was alone. After having found her again loneliness had started to feel so much more terrifying. After all what was he? Just a child soldier hurled into the past, thrown aside and morphed into a guileless man.

He felt the darkness swarm around him, wrapping him up in a lover's embrace. He felt himself drown into the pools of misery, each breath a reminder of every person he had led to their death, his very bones aching under the pressure, as flashes of distant memories passed through his mind, blurring into faint lines and visages.

There was the slight ruffling of the carpet in the vicinity. He choked on his own breath before righting himself, waking up from his slumber of gloom, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair.

He was cut out of his reverie as a cup of tea was levitated before him. He turned slowly to face the redhead smiling kindly at him through the doorway, her eyes a little sunken and yet the tenderness in them still alight

He wrapped his fingers around the cup, never once taking his eyes off her.

Nostalgia wrung through his body like fire as he saw Lily step closer to him. She came to stand beside him, their shoulders barely touching. He couldn't help but stare longingly, trying to remember what it had been like when he had been a baby and pressed close to her. Had she known, would she have wrapped him up in his arms, consoling him in ways he never had the opportunity to know, healing him from within like a mother ought to?

'You should be in bed, Harry,' she said carefully not yet completely certain of her relationship with the man.

Lily would have been an ignorant fool if she hadn't noticed the way he looked at her and the others. She had noticed the yearning but Merlin forbid she couldn't come up with a possibly explanation for it. It was strangely comfortable. She didn't mind it. In fact she, too, felt an inexplicable need to be close to him. She couldn't put it into words but she cared for this stranger even though she knew nothing about him.

'I could say the same to you,' Harry said, his voice levelled. 'You shouldn't be up at this hour.'

Lily shrugged her shoulders, 'I couldn't sleep without knowing you were okay.'

Harry felt his heart skip a beat, warmth spreading inside his body. 'I feel better now, thank you,' he said politely as he sipped the tea.

Lily nodded and sat down in an armchair by the fire, a solemn look overcoming her face. 'I wish I could say something that would help you.'

'It's enough for you to just be here,' Harry smiled sadly, not very surprised at how easily the words flowed with her. 'It's easier when I'm not alone.'

'I can tell,' Lily whispered.

The boys had each other. She had James. But looking at Harry and Rabastan felt like a betrayal. She knew they kept each other from falling apart but they were almost breaking at the seams. 'It's not fair.'

'It never is.' Harry looked up at the sky, clouds carrying rain tumbling over one another. 'I don't think Sirius is wrong.'

Lily raised a brow, a little taken aback but she didn't miss a beat. 'Harry, you can't possibly be impulsive about something like this. Could you really do it? Fighting someone to save yourself is different from purposely trying to hurt them for your own gain.'

'Things are not so black and white during a war,' Harry chuckled dryly. 'Trust me, I would know. There's no right and wrong. Besides I don't even have Dumbledore to fear. I no longer do things the way he tells me to.'

'You aren't from around here,' she said quietly, 'Why do you fight so hard?'

Harry sighed before moving to sit down on the floor, right before his mother. He pulled his knees up to his chest, looking at her with great care, mappiny each freckle and each blemish. 'At first I never knew why I pushed so hard,' he said, reflecting onto his first few years at Hogwarts. 'I was put into situations where there was no other choice. But as the years went by and I learned of how cruel Voldemort truly is, not fighting seemed like a crime in itself.

'But if I was being honest to myself, completely and truly honest, I'd tell you it was to keep the people I loved safe. Over the course of my life I've had many people sacrifice their lives for me. Especially my parents,' he looked away then, as his voice turned vulnerable and weak. He had never before voiced it but he really wanted to let her know. He wanted his mother to know. 'A part of me wanted to live up to the legacy they left behind. I wanted to make them proud. I wanted to keep their memory alive.'

A frown marred Lily's features as she took Harry's hand in hers, gently squeezing it. 'There will come rest for you, Harry. I know it. And I bet your parents would be proud. Any sane person would.'

His eyes filled up. 'You really think so?'

She smiled, her gaze soft and warm. 'I do.'

Harry sucked in a breath, reminding himself of where he was. He couldn't let himself get swayed by his emotions. She'd call him a lunatic if he confided in her. Who would even believe him?

_Nobody_.

His eyes seemed distant as he whispered into the quiet. 'I just want it to stop. I want it to stop. Just for a moment so I can catch my breath. Why won't it just stop?'

Lily was surprised at the helplessness and the vulnerability in his eyes. She felt her heart break for him, an inexplicable need to wrap him up in her arms surfacing.

'It's not a kind world and when people leave they don't always come back.' His gaze pierced at her. 'That's what I'm afraid of.'

'Hermione is incredibly resilient,' Lily murmured. 'If anybody can survive it then it's her. She's undoubtedly the strongest person I know. I still have hope, Harry.'

He nodded along to her words, his eyes drooping, the softness of his mother's voices lulling him into the realm of sleep. 'She's no less than a sister to me,' he whispered absently. 'She's the only family I've got left.'

'I know,' she murmured, her hand squeezing his again. 'But you have us now too.'

Harry looked at her, truly looked at her. His mother had truly been as kind as people had said. It had all started with her. This brave woman that he loved so much

His heart sank as he saw her rise on her feet, reaching out her hand for him to take.

'Come,' she said, 'Or I'm afraid you'll spend the night sitting here by yourself.'

Harry propped himself up, his fingers entwining with hers when a sudden feeling of immense pain raked through his entire body, his back feeling like it was on fire and the very blood coursing through his veins firing up. He let out a scream of horror as he sunk on his knees, the ground shaking beneath him.

Lily let out a yell as she saw the scene unfurl. 'James! JAMES!' She cried out helplessly, her wand already whipped out. She looked around herself, wondering what was happening. 'HELP! JAMES!'

There were loud noises as James and Sirius rushed into the room, their senses heightened and their hearts roaring.

'What is it? Lily? What happened?' James cried out, his eyes seeking out the form of Harry, hunched over and coughing.

'I .. I don't know.. we were talking and the next thing I know he was screaming.. I, I can't see any organic cause for it.. he's not bleeding and I don't..'

'I don't sense any tampering with the wards,' Sirius asserted, his hand cupping Harry's face, checking for any signs of possession. 'We're alone on the property.'

Remus and Peter stood at the door, taking in the entirety of the strange scene, cringing as an ear splitting scream filled with pain split through the air.

Harry doubled over. He had an inkling of an idea of what was going on. He hoped it wasn't what he thought it was.

'What's going on?!' Rab roared, running into the middle of the room and grabbing Harry by the shoulders.

Harry felt his pulse quicken as his lungs constricted. A muddy haze wrapped around his head, his vision blurring. There was a ringing deep inside his ears and a pulsating wave of pain threading through his body. The chord binding him to Hermione was being pulled taut, at its extremes, threatening to break.

'The.. the Horcrux.. the ring we hunted,' he mumbled. 'It's the same.. I can tell.. it's the same.. she's hurt..'

'Horcrux?' Sirius cried out, horrified and his face ashen. 'It can't be ..'

Peter's eyes widened in alarm. 'What do you mean? Harry, what is it?'

Remus was startled into action as he saw the blood drain on Rab's face.

'What's a Horcrux? Will somebody please explain?' James cried out.

'Pete, get some water,' Remus barked out the order, taking in the reins. 'Quick.' He turned to face Lily. 'We can figure that out later. Lily, you're a healer trainee. Get a hold of yourself and get on with your job.' He gently brushed at her shoulder, 'Can you do that for me?'

Lily looked distraught. Nodding to herself determinedly she levitated Harry onto the sofa, working her fingers through to remove his cloak.

Rab seemed to regain his composure as Harry sipped hurriedly at the water Peter held up to his mouth.

'Harry.. ,' he whispered.

'Hermione.. we need to get to her.. _now_ ,' Harry rushed onto his feet, a spell of dizziness threatening to overcome him.

James pushed him back gently, 'You're in no state to go take on Death Eaters, mate.. besides how could you possibly know?'

Lily mumbled to herself as she worked, 'It could just be his stress acting up that's making him all paranoid. I can't .. I can really tell.. his body's flaming!'

Sirius pushed James aside, looking deep into Harry's eyes who was now struggling to run free. 'What is it that you know?'

There was the a tapping against the window. Remus frowned, seeing nobody had noticed, and he went to open it to let in a tawny looking owl who dropped a letter onto the floor.

Rab's eyes flashed as he picked it up, immediately recognising it for what it was. 'Something is up,' his voice barely audible now, his feet stumbling over his steps. 'Oh, dear Merlin,' he cried out as his eyes swept over the words. He looked up fearfully at Harry. 'He's dead.. Rodolphus is dead .. something is going on.. what do we do..'

Clutching onto his heart, Harry said, 'We need to get to her now.' He broke free of Lily's restraining arms only to be caught by Remus.

'Stop for a moment and tell us exactly what's up!'

'THERE'S NO TIME!' Harry yelled forcefully through thinned lips. 'We need to get to Hermione now or we're going to lose her forever!'

It was all it took for everyone to jump into a state of frenzy, an endless stream of questions incessantly at their lips.

'Where are we headed?'

'Are you sure it isn't some kind of trap?'

'I don't understand. It doesn't make sense. Even if she's in danger how could you possibly know?'

'IT WILL BE TOO LATE!'

'We can't just rush in. What if we are outnumbered? We need a plan!'

'Shut up, the lot of you. If he thinks something's up then we need to trust him and get a move on!'

'Stop,' Rab mumbled, his eyes focused onto his fingers, a strange sensation flooding through him, his legs buckling under his weight. 'Stop,' he said again but nobody seemed to be listening to him.

'I don't know where .. I just know we have to get along now or it's going to be over soon!'

'Okay. Okay. Diagon alley? Hogsmeade? The ministry? Where do we begin?'

'We need to split up!'

'Stop, _please_ ,' Rab said feebly, a pressure building up against his spine as the world spun around him.

'No, that's too dangerous. Somebody needs to let Dumbledore know.'

'Yes, yes, he'll know what to do, now out of my way!'

' _STOP IT, I SAID_!' Rab yelled catching everyone by surprise, the ring glistening on his finger entrapping their attention.

'What is that?' Peter called out faintly.

The green around Rab's ring grew brighter, the orb of magic enveloping it soundly and thoroughly, a shimmering glow surrounding it. A gust of wind blew in through the wind as the orb grew into a blinding flash of light and with a sound of something snapping in two the gist of wind grew alarmingly quick making everyone shield their eyes and shy away from it.

There was a resounding thud as the orb of magic crashed and fell apart and the wind dropped leaving behind in the middle of the room two bodies entwined so intricately that their limbs couldn't be distinguished.

Lily gasped as her hands flew to her mouth. Her eyes watered instantly as her gaze flitted across the two women lying haplessly onto the floor. She tore her gaze away from Hermione to see Narcissa's equally unconscious form, her hand gripping at her pregnant belly.

_The baby_!

Rab rushed to Hermione's side, gathering her head in his lap and murmuring in her ears.

It didn't take longer than a moment for them to spring into action.

'Hermione!' Someone yelled; Harry couldn't place a name to the voice, his entire body shutting down, his worst fears realised.

Time stood still for him.

He was frozen.

His eyes tore up as he looked at what had become of the woman he loved so dearly. A strangled choke rose up his throat as he witnessed her torn clothes and her flaming back, the skin infected and inflamed, her body a frail little thing with only bones and skin. Her sunken eyes and her pale skin, her hair matted to her forehead covered with blood and grime, all of it that was left of her could have so easily be mistaken for a corpse.

His own pain lay forgotten, his senses shut down to the surrounding hubub of the Marauders bending down and separating the two women and carrying them onto conjured cots. The ringing in his ears grew louder as he felt himself dissociate from his body, still rooted to the spot. He could see nothing other than Hermione, her mangled body appearing to him lifeless. Time slipped away as he stood frozen with a terrible and a dreadful kind of fear rising up his spine, everything melting away as he saw a pair of hands, too old and widened to have belonged to Lily, cascading along her limbs, working magic over her incessantly and with precision

Harry couldn't begin to imagine if he had ever before seen somebody tortured into a sight as terrifying as the one Hermione made. She barely looked human, her form slumped and downtrodden. It was crippling to see her like this. There were cuts and bruises all along her body, dried blood and at places, fresh, pooling in at every inch across it. There was not a part of her that remained untouched. None. They had toyed with her body. They had crushed her. They had hurt every bit of her.

The gash across her stomach was begging to be looked at, the colour scarlet clouding it all over. What anguish she had lived through. Anger surged through him at seeing it, a hatred so potent it threatened to pull him asunder. There was a raging fire behind his eyes.

He felt his feet move of their own accord, dripping with lead they felt so heavy. He found himself clinging to Hermione's hand, his knees giving away as he rested his head against her thigh. He felt someone tug at him. He felt someone pull against him.

Someone was shouting. There were tears and a plethora of emotions abuzz in the room. The commotion was ceaseless and yet harry registered none of it. He could feel soembody's fingers grip him tightly, the pressure on his skin from the foreign touch firing up. But he dared not move.

His eyes remained solely on her face, the curve of her lips looking so strange. There was blood caked in even there. His eyes trailed up a path across her face, wincing as he saw the marks of someone's hand around her neck, so startlingly red against her translucent skin. He could almost feel her breathing, too shallow to be deemed normal.

There was more shouting and more screaming but Harry paid it no mind. No force would move him tonight. He would stand vigil. He would never, never in his life, leave her side again. He would never let her out of his sight and if someone even as much as came close to separating her from him, he would skin them alive.

He had no concept of time. It could have been hours that he had been sitting motionless by her side, his hand strained and yet gripped tight around her feeble fingers, the ends of which were scraped and scratched, her touch so terrifyingly cold.

She just lay there, completely unresponsive and yet the sign of a faint heartbeat still present. It was abject torture to him, his mind playing every memory he had of her, ranging from those of his previous life to those that he had shared with her in a strange timeline. There was the flash of every heartache he had suffered through with her, every smile he had chanced upon her face.

Nobody could take her from him. Nobody. He wouldn't let them.

Somebody had clothed and bandaged her up, sealing away every cut. He was also vaguely aware of people milling around him but he dared not look away lest she leave him. He couldn't let that happen.

He had failed her, let her down.

'You remember the first time we met, Hermione?' He mumbled quietly, indifferent to the eavesdropping ears around him, beyond all care in the world. 'We were only just eleven, so young and so carefree. Who knew what lay ahead of us. Maybe if I had known I would never have often so close to you or Ron or Ginny or anybody else. I would never have dared to. I wish someone had told me. You have been so brave.. _so_ brave. You shouldn't have had to be. You were the truest of all Gyrffindors, Mione, you know that, don't you? I couldn't bear to see all that fire inside you to go out. So come back to me, alright?'

He shut his eyes briefly as tears rolled down his cheeks. His voice remained level and calm, despite the turmoil in his heart. He wouldn't let her see the anguish he felt for it was nothing when compared to hers.

'You looked radiant, by the way.. so full of life. I can't believe how long it's been. We barely even got along in those first few days. I remember Ron and how livid he had been.. they were good times, Hermione, weren't they? I wish I could spend hours talking to you about every memory we have made. Because despite all the horror.. despite all that we've lost, we also had a pretty good run for while it lasted, didn't we? You're going to have to come back to me for me to do that, you hear me? You're going to have to come to me so we can be together again. For our family's sake. They ought to be remembered. We've hardly done any remembering. They ought to be remembered, Hermione.

'You're going to have to fight and come back to me. I _need_ you to come back to me.'

He trailed a gentle finger against her brow, now clean and pristine, cleared away of all the dirt. She was heavily bandaged, her body turned around so that her back lay bare and undisturbed. Scars lined up all along her skin, dotting her vody and turning it into a battlefield in itself.

This was not the girl he remembered from the first time he had set his eyes on her. This was not the girl she should have had to turn into.

_Oh, Hermione_ _.. what have I done to you?_

 


	67. Chapter 67

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

Was she dying?

_No_. No, she couldn't be.

There was a throbbing pain searing its way up through the entirety of her body, a burning flame licking at her skin. It was inside her and over her and wound so closely around her she wanted nothing more than to just give in and surrender.

What was this darkness that swirled around her, trapping her in her own mind, setting ablaze whatever came in its way?

Was she long gone from the living world?

Was her fight over?

_No_ , she reiterated to herself. She couldn't die. Not after how hard she had tried to crawl her way out of her prison. She had done it for him. She needed to find her way back to _him._

_Harry_.

She had done it for him.

She would live. She couldn't die. Not just yet. She had to see it until the very end.

She couldn't die on him.

* * *

 

'.. I'm not sure.. oh, dear.. I've never seen anything like it before..'

'.. Miss Evans, you must regain your bearings.. go on, go along and help Poppy with whatever she needs.. Your friend needs you to..'

'.. how can you possibly expect me to heal her if you keep hindering my work on my patient, Mr Oakswood. You must leave for her sake..'

'.. you're not helping anyone, Padfoot..'

'.. Rab, I'll take care of it. You don't have to worry about a thing.. I'll take care of it.. you just stay here with her..'

* * *

 

There was a clatter of noises all around her. Or was it the ringing of her own ears?

The burn had been replaced by an icy chill, frost like cold spreading through her veins like a vineyard of icicles.

**_"Just because it’s take you three years to notice, Ron, doesn't mean no one else has spotted I'm a girl!"_ **

Snippets of memories long past surfaced, pulling her asunder.

There was rage.

**_"I'm hoping to do some good in the world!"_ **

There was innocence.

**_"Nobody in my family’s magic at all – I’m Hermione Granger, by the way, who are you?’_ **

There was pain.

**_"Assuming I survive our hunt for the Horcruxes, I’ll find Mum and Dad and lift the enchantment. If I don’t – well.."_ **

There was grief.

**_He was meant to live! Reggie was meant to live!_ **

And there was Death.

**_Hush now, my love._ **

* * *

 

'.. she will fight through it, Poppy, don't you worry. Miss Lestrange here has seen many a strange thing. I'm certain she will be coming through to us very soon. You have done well as always, fret not too much..'

'.. at least Narcissa's condition seems to have stabilised.. for a moment there I'd gotten worried both the girls would be lost to us before their time.. However I do believe that deeming Miss Lestrange to be out of dangerous waters wouldn't entirely be wrong.. things could go very, very wrong, Professor..'

There was a deep resounding sigh. 'Things have taken a most unexpected turn indeed.'

* * *

 

She felt like she was falling, tumbling through a long dark tunnel with no conceivable end. A hand ghosted over her head, guiding her through this cage like vortex.

Hermione felt the exhilaration one might feel when running but she knew it in her limbs that her body remained motionless. Was it her spirit that was running away, then? Running away from what? Where was she headed? Where did this darkness lead? Where did it end?

There was a dull ache in her core.

Her mind, laden with despair, wanted to shut down, go to sleep and never have to wake up.

She was slowly regaining a semblance of consciousness, the feeling in her limbs beginning to surface. She tried to move, she really did but her body would just not budge, fighting incessantly against her will, drained thoroughly of whatever energy she might have had left.

She didn't want to be trapped inside her head any longer. But she didn't have to.

For that was when the sounds came.

Clear as a crystal.

Haunted.

Tired.

Pleading.

Repentant.

Sounds of people she had loved. People sharing their pain she didn't want them to feel anymore.

* * *

 

Lily combed her fingers gently through Hermione's hair, tying them swiftly into a braid, acutely aware of Harry's eyes trained at her back.

He hadn't left the woman's side for a minute. He had stood vigil for the last few days, all of them spent holding her hand, his eyes staring vacantly into her face. If somebody came he'd be quick to let go and move over to the corner or sometimes stand in the doorframe, silently allowing others to talk to her and read to her or even just to sit by her side, always respectful of their space but never letting her out of his sight, a strange kind of fear rampant in his eyes. He was nothing short of catatonic as he lingered around.

Lily inhaled deeply, feeling for Hermione's temperature as she did, her gaze falling over the bandages that wrapped around her midsection. Madame Pomfrey had cleared away the blood and the pus, working her magic through the irredeemable curses locked into them. Hermione's scars looked as if they were marked upon her ages ago, such was the nature of magic and yet Lily knew they'd never feel that way to the girl in question. She'd always carry them like they were only but a day old.

'She looks almost peaceful this way, doesn't she?'

Her eyes whipped to her left where Remus now stood, his brows puckered and his lips drawn into a frown.

'It's a morbid thought if you think what she'd look like otherwise,' she replied, staring into the fire crackling upwards, the flames illuminating the room just so, the morning light barely helping.

Remus placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, handing her a cup of tea. 'How is she doing? Any signs?'

Lily mumbled incoherently under her breath as her fingers once again reached over absently to Hermione's forearm for there lay the scar that concerned her the most. It seemed like it had healed a long time ago, even the word itself faded although starkly visible against her skin. What made it more worrisome was how frantically Harry had begged them to cover it up using a simple cloth when nobody was looking.

His face had become a fierce mask as he had almost thundered, 'She shouldn't have to explain any more than she absolutely has to! She shouldn't have to relive it! I won't allow it!'

'Her vitals are stable for now,' she answered mechanically as she had been for everyone in the house. 'Doesn't look like her fever will spike anymore.'

'Is that all?'

'Well, Madame Pomfrey did as good a job she could without consulting a specialised healer. Being only a trainee I can't do much for her either other than keep her posted about any moderations or at best periodically changing her dressings.' She shook her head in frustration. 'What a time to be useless.'

'Don't say that,' Remus chided her gently. 'You're doing the best you can. We all are.'

'And look where it's got us,' she gazed at him, her eyes tumultuous, a storm brewing amidst the green.

He cleared his throat, suddenly uncomfortable. His eyes wnadered around, stopping at Harry, finding him facing towards the wall and appearing to all of the world as a statue in study.

He decided to settle down in an armchair he had dragged across from the corner, sitting down so he could look Lily clearly in the eye.

'Things could have been a lot worse.'

'That's a false platitude,' she said bluntly.

Smiling sadly, Remus merely patted her awkwardly before moving closer to Hermione's side, wondering if there was anything he could do for either of the women.

It tug at his heartstrings to see what had become of the girl who had been the first to accept him for he was, the first to deem him worthy of friendship and love. The girl he remembered from so long ago had lost herself somewhere and he had been too late to realise.

Her body looked frail and weary now, almost corpse like in its appearance. The unnatural stillness she lay with unnerved him.

He even remembered the night he had been tortured under her wand, both of them turned helpless by a war they didn't want. He hadn't felt betrayed. No. He had known it would be far more painful a feat for her than it would be for him and that was saying something. Even making the hard choice for the right reasons could disrupt your psyche and it always took a heavier toll on you than anyone else.

With the world the way it was memories more often than not chased away any possibility of bringing nostalgic relief, Remus thought to himself. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he stretched his back, still recovering from the full moon a day before, recently opened up scars screaming at him, an unbidden gasp filtering out of his mouth.

Lily looked at him with an apology written all over her face, unable to offer him any relief.

They sat huddled there all throughout morning, silence weighing in on them but never feeling like a burden. Neither one could shake away the feeling of not being enough, their shared pain a solace.

As the bell chimed twelve, Lily got to her feet and began preparing the potions. She saw from the corner of her eyes as Harry walked over swiftly to Hermione's side, his hands gentle and careful as he propped the pillows around her head, elevating her from the midsection up.

'It's okay, Harry,' Lily said, mindful of how he wouldn't listen. 'I can do it by myself.'

Remus watched as Harry's frown deepened, a silent plea in his eyes, his gaze never faltering from the woman in his arms. It struck him then just how much he had never known about Hermione. It had taken him months to find out Hermione was on the side of the Order but it had only been because of the nature of his own mission that resembled hers greatly. But he had never known about this stranger she had loved more deeply than she did perhaps even her own brother.

While Hermione had been guiding her friends her own needs had been so painfully overlooked.

Lily tipped the contents of four different potions into Hermione's mouth as she slowly massaged her throat. Muttering a quick spell under her breath she discarded the empty vials and set about to change her dressings, barely sparing a glance in Harry's direction as he made himself scarce, not a single word spoken to either of the two present in his company, having done his duty and waiting once again for the room to empty so he could have her to himself.

She had to laud him for his loyalty. She wondered if she'd ever seen a person care about someone more than Harry did for Hermione. But she also worried. Harry was isolating himself, _barricading_ himself and putting up insurmountable walls.

She stopped midstep as her anxiety turned her restless. Shakign her head, she rid herself of these thoughts.

Lily was glad to notice that Hermione required no replacement for her dressings just yet. The bleeding had subsided greatly over the last night. She was healing well.

'Do you think she'd want us here when she wakes up?' Remus began slowly, hesitant.

'I know I wouldn't,' Lily glanced at him furtively, seating herself down in the chair she had vacated. 'We don't deserve her kindness.'

Remus found himself nodding to her, agreeing wholeheartedly.

'We don't deserve your kindness either,' she went on, surprising him.

Realisation dawned on him as he recalled the day Hermione had been captured. He had been ordered to remove himself from Greyback's pack immediately. It had been a long, long night.

'We owe you an apology too.'

'Already forgiven, Lily,' he smiled sadly.

'Too quickly,' she remarked. 'You should have let us grovel further.'

'There's no point holding onto grudges you don't mean to keep.'

'Doesn't mean we get to b..'

A flurry of movements caused Lily to pause. There was the sound of multiple people Apparating just outside.

'Good, the meeting's over then,' Remus observed, rising onto his feet and moving quietly into the foyer, Lily hot on his heels.

Harry watched them leave with disinterest, his feet taking him along a well worn path by now.

It always ended like this.

Nobody stuck around for too long. Maybe for an hour or two. Maybe half a day. Everyone had somebody to go back to, somebody to run to.

Harry and Hermione had no-one. They were completely and terrifyingly alone, with only each other for themselves. But here he was, sat beside the limp body of his last remaining family, helpless and defeated, unable to help her or himself.

* * *

It was near dark when James and Peter walked inside Hermione's room in the tiny cottage.

James heard Peter mutter a small incantation to levitate a set of chairs around her bed. But before he could have sat down he noticed something strange.

Unlike any other time he had been here Harry was no longer standing straight, staunch like a sentinel guarding his treasure. He was slid down against the wall, his head in his hands, slight tremors running up his back

The sight left a pang in his heart. This was probably the first time the man was getting any amount of sleep.

'Prongs, do you want to make a little..,' Peter began but quietened down as he saw James put a finger against his lips.

He saw as the bespectacled man cast a silent Muffliato and conjured up a comforter, walking swiftly over to Harry and covering him up as snugly as he could.

There was a slight commotion as Sirius entered, looking haggard and exhausted.

Peter quickly made some space for him.

'I put him to bed,' Sirius stated tiredly. 'No easy feat forcing a werewolf to sleep. He wanted to be with us. Assured him everything was fine and it was only a skirmish of a fight.'

'Well, he couldn't have expected a routine meeting to end up in a facedown with angry Death Eaters,' James remarked, plopping down beside his best mate. 'Lily was almost hysterical too. Guess this entire ordeal has everyone on edge.'

Sirius nodded along with whatever he said, not really listening. He had eyes only for Hermione.

She was still just lying there, lifeless and weary. Her skin was pale, almost translucent. The bruising around her wrists, wrapped where they'd been cut raw from being cuffed, and a few cuts on her face seemed to be glaring at him.

Maybe if he had put his foot down the night he had rescued her from the members of the Resistance. Maybe he could have forced her to stay if he had pleaded with her just a while longer.

It struck him how she could have died without knowing how much he loved her. He swore to himself then that he would never let that happen. Not again.

'I swear to whatever gods are looking over this messed up world that I'll kill that bitch,' Sirius declared, a cold fury flicking through his words. 'She's a raving madwoman. I don't care who tosses Voldemort. _Bellatrix_ is mine to finish.'

'Padfoot,' James cried out, fearful of the hatred Sirius was beginning to let fester inside his mind. 'You can't afford to think like that. It's going to mess with your head.'

'Do you expect me to let her walk free?' He whispered furiously.

'No, I'm asking you to let someone else handle it,' he reasoned. 'It's beyond personal for you. It'd be dangerous for you to go after her. You won't be objective about it and recklessness isn't exactly outside your domain.'

Sirius huffed, his chest rising and falling with a tumultuous effort, anger barely restrained.

'She'll get what she deserves,' Peter said. 'But I agree that I'd hate it if all she ended up with was Azkaban. She deserves to feel all the pain she's ever inflicted upon others.'

James sighed. Why did he have to be the voice of reason? Where was Lily when you needed her. Scrunching up his brows and his hands wringing through his hair, he rose to his feet. 'Well, justice isn't always served as you'd wish for it to. Life isn't fair. Make of it whatever you will. But if you let this anger cloud your judgment then you won't be the only ones to suffer from it.'

'The very thought of her makes my blood boil, Prongs,' he said, Sirius's voice was pleading. 'I see her face every night before I sleep. All I want to do is _wrap_ my fingers around her throat and crush her! End her life for everything that she's done! I'm ashamed to share my name with her. I am shamed of everything my name stands for.

'Look at her,' he screamed in agony, his long fingers pointing at Hermione's unconscious form. 'Look at what that bitch has reduced her to! Look at her, Prongs! Almost a week and no sign of her waking up. What if she never does? What if she always stays like this? What then? What did she do to deserve this? She was saving our necks all this time! Then why does she have to be the one fighting for her life?'

James looked tense, his eyes seeking out Peter's asking for help.

Sirius couldn't stop seeing red. The vision of Bellatrix's hooded eyes refused to leave his mind.

'My brother.. _Reggie,_ my little boy died because of her. She dragged him to Voldemort, offering him like he was some kind of trophy. She sacrificed my little brother to that monster! What reason do I have let her walk free?'

He saw as Sirius muttered a string of curses under his breath, beginning to pace across the length of the room, trying to release some pent up energy. He almost exhaled in relief seeing as his chest deflated, the fight leaving him.

James averted his eyes as Sirius collapsed onto the floor.

The three Marauders sat in silence, a feat nobody would ever expect from them considering their boisterous and mischievous nature.

'She asked Rab to save me,' Peter mumbled quietly. 'I'm sorry I was the catalyst to all the pain she's been put under. I wish it had been me instead. She saved me.. and I can't even thank her.'

James flinched at the raw emotion in his voice. 'Mate, come on..'

'No,' Peter shook his head, his hand reaching out to hold Hermione's. 'No, don't do that. Don't absolve me of my guilt. It's rightly placed. If it hadn't been for my stupidity.. if I hadn't allowed myself to caught, this would never have happened. She would have remained unhurt. She shouldn't have had to face what she did.'

'We've got to be the best friends of the year,' Sirius snarked. 'We misjudged two of our own family. We misplaced our trust. How .. _how_ could we have let this happen? How could we have been so self involved? _So_ pitiful?'

'I'd spend my entire life making up to them,' James said, his voice the softest and the gentlest of them all.

Sirius traced the outline of her palm with his fingers. 'I failed her,' he declared sadly. 'What kind of love is this where I messed up so magnanimously? I left her behind, almost losing her in the process.'

Peter clapped him on the back, seeing as his eyes darkened and his lips pressed into a thin line.

'You'll keep going around in circles if you do that,' James said somberly. 'If we'd been careful in the first place she'd never have had to be alone at all. We could have helped. Made things better. But the fact of the matter is we didn't. We need to accept that and learn. At this point that's all we can do because it's not about us. It's about her! Own up to our mistakes, that's what we've got to do. We've got to move on and be better people for when she wakes up and needs someone to lean on.'

'I wish we could just go back to how things were before,' Peter bit out from between gritted teeth.

'Before when?' James began. 'Before we chose to sit by and watch helplessly? Before we threw away Hermione's friendship in an instant just because she snapped and we couldn't come up with a better explanation? Or before the war ever began? How far back do you want to go? How far until it's enough? We can _never_ undo what we've done.'

'Then how in the world could we ever salvage our friendship,' Sirius pleaded.

'We are a family,' they heard Rab say softly from the doorframe. He ventured into the room quietly, observing each of the three men gathered around his sister, staring into their eyes to make sure they understood. 'I know it doesn't feel like one at the moment. Everything seems fractured and distanced. But we were a family before and we can be a family now.'

Sirius looked away, pained. 'I threw away your kindness in your face, Rab,' he said, apologetic.

'Then you make sure not to do it again,' Rab shrugged his shoulders, smiling slightly. 'You can't afford to trust your gut and put faith in just anyone when in the middle of a war. Besides she didn't give you much reason to trust her in the end, did she? She was openly siding with the Death Eaters. You did what anybody would have. You were smart. Don't beat yourself over it. Nobody can blame you for doing the smart thing.'

The men remained speechless, looking at each other, none of them sure what to do next. Rab hadn't exactly made his distaste of them a secret. He had openly scowled at them, his eyes always screaming fury when cast upon them. He may not have put it into words but it was clear as the day that Rab did not want them anywhere near Hermione.

The older Lestrange pulled at Peter's shoulders, steering him out of the room as he did so, his other arm slung around James. He looked back briefly, 'Come on, Sirius. Don't make me go as far as tucking you into bed.'

Sirius, surprisingly, didn't put up resistance. Squeezing Hermione's fingers one last time, he let go.

Rab saw as the three huddled along the stairs, their footsteps sluggish and heavy.

'Forgiveness will come,' he called out, comfortingly. 'It took me what? A month? It won't take her a day.' He smiled sadly, shaking his head fondly in Hermione's direction as he ambled through the door and inside the tiny bedroom.

He remained standing to the side.

He'd spent countless hours beside her already and yet every time he lay his eyes on her weary body, marred by wounds he wished never to see on anyone least of all her, a part of him would always feel crushed.

His sister had been his responsibility.

His sister had been his responsibility and he had let everything go up in flames. He should have fought her. He should have put his foot down the moment she deiced to join that deranged bastard. His carelessness, his negligence had led them here.

Closing his eyes he tried to remember what it was like at the beginning. He pictured Hermione as the little girl she had been, cocooned by his side in bed as he read her a story. A reluctant smile broke out on his face as he imagined a much younger version of his brother who had spent countless hours teaching him and Hermione the subtle ways to outwit their governess.

But there was no brother Rab had anymore and his sister had been reduced to something akin to a broken marionette.

He felt his eyes well up with tears.

Conflict seemed to have flawlessly merged with his soul. Conflict about the feelings of loss he felt deep within when the thoughts of his brothers plagued his mind and the subsequent rage that would follow, thinking about all the sins he had previously conjured.

The handsome face of Rodolphus Lestrange would forever be marred by the dying visage of his grandfather.

He inhaled deeply, telling himself over and over again that there'd be time to grieve when tomorrow came. At present he had to be strong. He had to be strong for Hermione's sake.

He fell to his knees, knotting his fingers with those of Hermione's, still cold to the touch. A wave of anguish rolled over him as silent tears slipped past his eyes. Drawing in a deep breath, he blew it out from his nose, steadying himself against the onslaught of emotions.

'Narcissa's fine, if you're still worried which I bet you are, even in this state,' he chuckled sadly. 'She's stable now. We'll be seeing the child very soon too now or so Madame Pomfrey says. Don't leave me all alone, Mi,' he whispered, bringing their intertwined hands to his lips, dropping a gentle kiss softly against her skin. 'Papa's gone.. so is Rolf. I can't just stand here and watch you leave me too.'

He drew in a deep breath, his knees wobbling.

'If nothing else, hold on for his sake,' he murmured, his eyes glancing at Harry's sleeping form by the window. 'There's a whole lot of the world left for you to see, love. A whole lot of things that need to be done. Don't give up.. I beg of you but don't you _dare_ give up..'

Why wouldn't she say something?

The quiet was unnerving, the stillness in her body even more so.

'Everything has been so hard without you here. I need you. Had to tell Sirius about Reggie all by myself too. He kept asking me to help pull him out of Voldemort's ranks. The man was inconsolable when he found out. But what could he have done? He wrapped up his grief, stuffed it deep inside him like anybody would in these times, ripe for a later time to be assessed. How pathetic is it, Mi? The dead deserve to be mourned. We don't even get to do that.

'Everyone has questions.. so many of them. Harry won't give them any answers. Understandably so. It's all fallen onto me. I keep giving them vague explanations but they won't hold for much longer now. So please.. please don't leave me alone.'

He stroked her hair lovingly, his eyes glossing over with thick emotion.

'Harry.. he's .. he's a changed man.. won't eat, won't talk to anyone. He just sits there. The sight of him freezes me to my core, Mi.. I don't know how to help him. But you do,' he murmured. 'Losing someone.. that kind of pain carries on with you. But he always lets it be his guiding light so nobody else has to bear its weight. And Merlin knows he's lost enough. Do you have it in you.. do you have it in you to add to the list, love? Come back.. not for anybody else .. but for his sake.. please don't go, Mi..'

There was no end to this war as far as he could see. Even if all the horcruxes could be destroyed there was no way they could come out of this unscathed. Harry and Hermione already carried scars from their previous life that he knew nothing about. He wondered what path he'd be plunged down upon as the war intensified for surely it would. It must. That was the nature of it.

Remembering Harry vacant eyed and slack jawed on the floor reaffirmed his fears. That was not what a man ought to look like. No. There seemed to appear no life in him anymore. No joy. He was broken and had been for a while now. How? Just how did someone come back from that? Hermione hadn't. Even years after waking up into this new timeline Hermione had had nightmares almost every night and Rab knew it best. He couldn't begin to imagine the horrors the two had had to face. He wondered if it had been worse than what Hermione had been forced to face over the course of the last few days. He wondered how, then, could she have possibly held onto hope, her courage never wavering.

His eyes moved to settle on Harry of their own accord. Finding him awake, Rab startled a little with a yip of surprise. He wanted to call out to him, to pull his attention away from the corpse like body of his sister and towards himself but no words came to him. He had never seen him like this before. He had certainly not known just how deeply rooted their love had been, so utterly unadulterated.

Harry folded his arms around his chest, hugging himself, protecting himself from everything that lay outside.

'You look miserable,' Rab said bluntly because there was nothing else to it, nothing he could say to make him feel better, nothing that he could do for him.

Harry barely registered him though, nodding his head dismissively.

'What are you doing, mate? Hovering around like a ghost. It's like you've given up already,' Rab croaked, his voice thick with emotion. He wanted to reach out but he dared not move. He had tried talking to him before but Harry had remained catatonic. This was the first time he had even considered somebody's presence other than for his best friend.

Putting his hands on his sides, Harry rose to his feet, his body leaning against the wall.

'Harry, please talk to me,' he pleaded, a touch of desperation in his voice. 'I know you're hurting. I know I could never understand the extent of your pain but you still have me in your corner, mate.'

Disappointment riddled his mind as he watched him stare straight ahead, at what he could not say, a distant look in his deadened eyes. Rab knew he was falling farther and deeper into his pit of grief and anguish and there was nothing anybody could have done to bring him back.

'Do you wish to be alone with her? I know you barely get the time to during the day. They almost never leave, do they?'

Harry still didn't respond, the numbness that surrounded him like a fortress still unbreakable.

'Harry..,' Rab's voice broke. 'She'll make it.. you said so yourself.. she's going to fight through it and come out stronger .. she has to.. my sist-'

'No.' Harry gritted out, his features contorted by agony. The emptiness hanging around his eyes intensifying, 'She's mine.. _my_ sister.'

Rab flinched at the harshness in his tone however immediately forgiving him. He knew nothing about how deep their love ran. Perhaps he really was an intruder to their relationship. What did he know? He had failed as a brother. Hermione deserved better anyway.

He let out a deep breath, disentangling himself from Hermione and slowly turning around to exit the room. He spared one last glance at his sister, sending out yet another prayer.

It could have been the hundredth. Or perhaps the thousandth. Who could tell?

He had lost count days ago.

* * *

 

It was more painful than anything else to hear their apologies.

She wanted to tell them there was nothing be sorry for. She wanted to console them, tell them they'd already been forgiven but her body wouldn't let her.

The words never stopped.

People were always saying something.

Sometimes it was Madame Pomfrey. Others it was Lily or the boys. It was especially comforting when Rab spoke to her, her heart reaching out to him.

But she knew peace only when there was Harry.

She could feel him. She could feel him so close to herself but he never said anything. Not a word. There was radio silence when it came to him. Nothing other than his hand holding hers. She was cold where he was warm, the only tether she had remaining to the world of the living.

But it also hurt to be with him. His silence grated at her nerves. It terrified her. It frightened her to think of the darkness growing inside his head. It hurt even more when he drew in shuddering breaths, sobs wracking his body when he thought nobody was listening.

But she was.

She was always, always listening, painfully aware of his grief.

Hermione was crying.

She was screaming, trapped and with nowhere to run to, ghosts surrounding her on all sides.

She was drowning.

What good was Hermione Granger if she couldn't help Harry Potter?

* * *

 

Harry stared hard at the faded letters on the worn out book Hermione had carried everywhere what felt like a time ages and ages ago. He had found it in her charmed bag and clutched it tighter than he could have imagined possible.

He saw as her chest rose and fell steadily, although much too slow for what could be deemed normal. But she was still breathing. That had to count for something, didn't it? What scared him was that if she stopped, he would too.

He missed the days when things had been simpler.

Hermione would be nose deep in **_Hogwarts: a History_**. Ron would be defeating him at wizarding chess. Ginny would be somewhere close by, always within his sight. Fred and George would be creating a ruckus as the Common Room erupted into an applause at their escapades. Where did that time go? How did he get here?

Why?

Why could he not go back to those days?

It felt unreal at times. It was like walking into a tiny caricature of a life he hadn't wanted. How could any of this be happening? He wasn't supposed to be here. Perhaps he had died too. Perhaps he was dead and this was hell for him, constantly and continuously losing more and more of himself.

Why did it have to be him? Why did it all have to come down to him? He had never asked for this life. He had never wished for this fame. Not if it meant this endless brokenness. He couldn't recall the last time he had felt whole. Perhaps it had never been. His life, after all, had always been a tragedy.

He shut his eyes, the weariness creeping up his back. He was trying to fight the tears back down. He was sick of it. He was sick of crying all the time. It wasn't helping _her_. He swiped angrily under his eyes.

He had seen too many die. He had been stronger then. He had been stronger so why was it so difficult to contain himself? The fear of loneliness, the fear of losing his very last family was chilling. He didn't want to face another day, not if it meant Hermione wasn't by his side.

He couldn't hold it in. He had tried.

He had thought she'd be perfectly fine by now. But it had been seven days already and there was not even a single sign of her surfacing. Was she even coming back? Had she forsaken the promises she'd made him?

His knees gave out and he slid to the floor, his face buried in his hands. He cried silently, tears spilling down his face and burrowing into his palms. His temples throbbed with the weight of his anguish, his stomach churning in knots. He retched into the quiet, his head spinning. He was falling apart, a little more every day and there was nobody that could help him. Nobody but her.

* * *

 

Her eyes slid open. She tried to blink away the bleariness, the grey fog blinding her vision beginning to clear up.

She could feel her head pounding. The darkness fell heavy around her, punctuated only by the glow of the fire burning warm to the side. Her body felt heavy and weightless all at once, numbness being the only sensation she could feel.

She blinked several times, the memories rushing in one painful sliver at a time.

Pain. Torture. Fire and ice.

Tears.

Someone was crying. Someone had been crying for a long time now. Who had it been? Why was it making Hermione feel like she had been gutted?

She moved her arms, trying to feel around herself, every movement a painstaking task. She rose up, mustering up as much strength as she could, her lungs almost collapsing under own weight, her back burning up. But there he was..

Harry was sobbing, his knees hugged close to his chest and his body shivering from the cold.

Hermione lost all semblance of reason, launching into the small space separating them but she had clearly overestimated herself. She hoisted herself on her wrists, choosing to ignore the shooting pains up her arms. There was a ringing set of noise that erupted as she fell onto the floor, her legs turning into jelly, several instruments that had lain on her bedside table now haplessly strewn about her.

Harry startled into a defensive pose, his wand raised. His face morphed into that of disbelief, green eyes widened and mouth gaping, as he took in Hermione's slight form doubled over and gasping.

'Mione.. you.. I ca-'

Hermione tried to reach out to him, extending her arms towards him clumsily. The tracks of his tears stood out to her even against the dark. She felt her lips curve into a smile but knew that it had probably come off as a grimace judging from the intense fire running its course up throughout her body.

Harry wasted no time in lowering into a crouch, scooping her up and laying her down gently onto her bed, settling down right beside her, her small body wrapped in his tight embrace. He felt as her own tears combined with his, loud sobs adding onto his own. Something much like a heavy weight drifted away from over him..

Relieved was not how he would have described himself as. No word in any conceivable language could measure up to what he felt. It almost seemed as if he had been sliced open and revived in a single breath. He felt as her breaths mingled with his, her arms slowly weaving their way around his torso.

All was right in the world again.

The crippling fear from her days in that prison like cage holed up miles and miles away surfaced, every tormenting memory and dying face coming to the forefront of her mind. She felt a different kind of numbness surround her. Her ears rang with the ghost of her own screams that she had heard far too many times to count. She had only ever wanted to be held in those days. She didn't want to get out. She just wanted Harry to be close. So as her fingertips grazed against his skin she couldn't help but cling to him like he was her life support, which she certainly knew to be true.

She felt her body recoil from itself. She felt so, so small. How many times did she have to get battered and get back up again?

It was exhausting.

'I.. I am so,' she croaked, her voice hoarse from disuse,' so tired..'

She remembered Bellatrix's face. Both the times the witch had mercilessly tortured her itno oblivion. Shivers ran down the length of her spine as her face hovered before Hermione's vision. She had cried and begged to be let go, things she'd never have thought her Gryffindor pride could have allowed her.

She could feel the multitude of cuts and bruises across her skin, stitches sliding against each other on her abdomen.

Hermione longed to see the outside. She longed to see the Sun. But more than anything else she wanted to stay like this forever, pressed close to Harry's side, his heartbeat against hers.

She sniffled, snot and tears running down her face. She let out a watery chuckle as she wiped against her eyes, the very movement feeling foreign to her. It had been days since she had felt true happiness but the knowledge of it only drove her to cry harder.

Harry pulled her even closer, burying his nose into her hair, breathing her in, letting her entire being surround him.

_This is real_ , he kept telling himself over and over again. _She's home._

She scooted back from him finally as his sharp intakes of breath turned into a calmer rhythm. A spell of dizziness was threatening to overcome her again but she willed herself to last longer. She didn't want to be pulled asunder. She didn't want to be prodded at again by the darkness.

They lay beside each other for several long minutes, waiting patiently for the shaking to subside. Their hearts still beat against their ribcages wildly like a beast released, the euphorbic rush not quite leaving them alone just yet.

' _Never_. Do. That. Again.'

Hermione felt herself tear up once again as she heard the unadulterated fury in his voice.

'You hear me, Hermione?' Harry breathed out, his voice raspy. 'I will tear apart anything that comes in my way. Nobody is going to take you away from me.' The rough pads of his fingers brushed away against her red cheeks, gentle and grounding.

She nodded numbly against his chest, her panic subsiding.

She coulf fix herself again. She could do anything for Harry and she would.

Hermione felt him lean down as he pressed his chin closer into her shoulder, the vacant dark taking hold of her again. She was drifting away, her eyes shutting close of their own accord as her breathing evened and her fingers lay still against his jaw, her only thoughts revolving around a small raven haired, bespectacled boy hugging a tiny bushy haired witch close.


	68. Chapter 68

**_DISCLAIMER_ ** _. None of the characters used are a creation of mine. They belong solely to JK Rowling._

The silky curtain of the pink skies wrapped the world in its depths, inseparable and indecipherable from the grey seas treading across the sand and under the thundering clouds, the insurmountable travesties of her life falling into an abysmal pool of thoughts and feelings inside Hermione's mind.

Her eyes sought out Harry's gaunt frame in the distance, his rolled up trousers already wetting as the waves pooled around him angrily, his eyes distant and staring ahead so motionlessly he might as well have been paralysed.

Salty air whipped against her cheeks, biting and harsh as her gaze fell onto her hands, her dainty fingers wrapped with bandages despite her nails that had been made to regrow. Her body had become a battleground of wounds that crisscrossed across the entirety of her skin leaving behind not a bare hint of clear, smooth pink. There were gashes and cuts on every part of her. Hermione had never been one to care for her looks but this morning, almost a week after she had woken up from her comatose state, as she had removed the many glamours she had cast upon herself the sight that met her eyes wasn't anything short of something that might have resembled a broken marionette. A hint of tears had filled her eyes as she surveyed herself, her back a myriad of inflamed lines that crawled across the entire length of it.

Her body still hurtThe soreness barely ever left her alone.

She pitied herself. It wasn't an emotion she was used to but Voldemort had broken her to an extent that all she felt for herself was pity and nothing else. Her mind, Hermione Granger's greatest asset, had been violated in the most gruesome ways, her hold on it unbelievaby tight. Even her rational self found it difficult at times to keep herself on bay, her body perpetually crushed under the weight of her torture that still lay as a fresh cut on her being.

Sighing as the waves crashed along the beach, she curled her toes feeling the cold seep into her skin, feeling on her back the intense stares of the occupants of the safehouse. They were bound to. It wasn't a pleasant argument that had followed when Harry had declared that he would be helping her outside. They had protested it, saying she needed to regain her strength and that she was bound to catch a cold or worse. But she had needed a release. She had craved it. She had hoped that perhaps the gentle sea would bring peace to the fury within.

Hermione resisted the urge to turn around and look at them. She didn't want to. Her brother and the Marauders knew nothing. They knew nothing of what she had been through. They never would and she was grateful that they didn't but a small, selfish part of her resented the world for having pushed her into becoming the martyr. It wasn't her job. It wasn't Harry's. Why? Why has it always been them? How long until they too would perish?

Her mind willed her to forget, to look past it but the pity she saw in their eyes wasn't something she wanted. No. Hermione pitied herself enough. She didn't want it from others too. Their eyes would follow her every move, every stumbling step, every ragged breath she drew in fearing she would fall or break, waiting with abated breath to rush to her rescue.

She didn't want it.

She wanted nothing of it.

Her mind had turned into an impenetrable fortress which only Harry and only him alone could even begin to traipse through. She had chosen to remain quiet, allowing only tight smiles and small gestures of gratefulness to be kept reserved for the people in the house.

It hurt. It hurt far more than she had expected it to but she wasn't ready yet. She didn't know how to integrate herself into the lives of the Marauders. It was true that she had forgiven them a long time ago but letting them in was something she didn't know how to.

She hadn't even found the courage to seek out Rab when he had every right to know of their brother's sacrifice in the face of true horror. She balked at the idea of confiding in anyone outside of Harry. She simply wasn't ready for it despite the wounded looks she would receive from her beloved brother.

The only occasion she had talked to them was the day after she had woken up. Dumbledore had flooed into the cottage right away and she had had to give them a clear account of the things that had happened, an experience she hadn't been incredibly fond of but had gotten through with Harry's help.

She looked up and out toward the sea, the cold of the winter still persisting in the wind that lapped around her simple robes. It was a foolish idea, a foolish venture but Hermione welcomed the chill. She craved it. Anything to take her mind off of the soreness in her body and the confinement she had been thrust into.

Her misery threatened to engulf her into an endless darkness when she felt a cold, clammy hand take hold of hers. She looked up, smiling softly as Harry's green eyes bored into hers.

He bent at his waist, lightly settling himself into place beside her, letting her rest her heavy head onto his shoulder, wrapping an arm around her and holding her steady.

She clutched onto his robes as if her life depended on it, her hair whipping around her in the unforgiving wind.

'Thank you for bringing me out here,' she mumbled quietly into his chest.

'It's alright,' he said, his voice barely audible. 'I know what it's like in there. It's suffocating. I can barely breathe when inside. You don't have to hide anything from me, Mione. I know how you feel.'

Hermione nodded, a rueful chuckle on her lips. 'It's funny, isn't it?' She looked up at him. 'Your family is completely in your reach for the first time in your life but you ca-'

Harry's eyes cried of pain as he placed his finger against her mouth lightly, 'Don't say it, Hermione. It hurts as it is.'

'I know,' she whispered. 'I'm sorry.'

'I never knew my parents,' his voice sounded hollow, his words a letter of cadence. 'I had never seen them or been able to talk to them. Now I can. I can touch them, hold them but my parents are strangers to me. They have no son. They look at me and wonder who I am, what relation I have to you. They don't know me and if they did I wonder if they'd accept me. It always boils down to one thing, doesn't it? The Potter family will always be incomplete.'

Tears slipped past her eyes for her best friend, her grief surging at the emptiness in his voice. She had nothing to say to him. Nothing she could do take away his pain.

Harry turned towards her, tracing his fingers along her face and wiping away the stray tears. 'Don't feel bad for me, Hermione. I've made peace with my fate.'

'You shouldn't have to!' She cried out.

He chuckled, shaking his head tiredly. 'I know but someone has to sign away their life and set out on this hint. This time round, in this war, it's got to be me.' He took a deep breath then, his shoulders slumping. 'But then I'm not alone, am I? I ended up dragging you down this hole with me. I ruined everything for you and Ron.'

Hermione gasped. 'Harry..,' she whispered, pained. 'Don't you dare! Don't you dare put all the blame on yourself. You ruined nothing. You did nothing. It was my choice and given the chance I'd make the same decisions over and over again. It's you and I until the end of this war, Harry so let's wind back the clock and I'll show you! I'll find you, I'll seek you out in the Hogwarts Express and I'll make you fight that troll and I'll be your friend! I'll be your friend or I'll be nothing at all.'

He looked away from her, his head bowed in shame.

'Do you hear me?' She pressed. 'I want nothing other than to be by your side, Harry. Nothing in this life or the next could compare to being with you. You're my best friend. You're my _family_ and I will not let you do this alone.'

Harry tried pushing down a sob, forcefully rubbing against his eyes. 'I'm sorry, Mione,' he heaved. 'You could have been happy, you and Ron.' All the heartbreak and fear he’d been supressing suddenly sprang forth as he became hyperaware of every little thing, every tiny insignificant moment – the hitch in Hermione's breath, the slight shiver in her limbs, the weak, steady beating of her heart. 'I'm so, so sorry..'

Feeling her body protest in pain, Hermione pushed his arm away, wrapping him in her embrace and holding him tightly to herself. 'Ron was proud of you as am I. Nobody could have borne the weight of the world as you have, Harry and I'm so, so proud to call you my friend. And let's face it. Let's face the truth. Our world wasn't a place where happy endings existed. And if I hadn't met you.. if you and I had been just housemates I would never have learned to fight. I was always about books and grades, Harry. But you? You taught me to fight. You gave me the chance to fight for what's right. You let me be your partner. You taught me I had to learn to defend myself, that I had to own up and be my own hero. You let me save myself from countless death traps. If it hadn't been for you I'd have been just another number, just another statistic. I'd have been one of the many muggle borns who were brutally murdered. But I wasn't. I wasn't one of them because being Harry Potter's best friend had taught me to be a soldier. And that saved my life time after time.

'I cherish my days with Ron,' she said, the memory of the redhead rearing its way in, a pang of loss bridling through her chest at the mention of her first love. 'I really do. I may be in terrible pain, I may have been through the worst of torment but I've said it before and I'll say it however many times you need me to. We're in this _together_. Together until our very last breaths.'

Harry pulled her closer, his palms resting across her back, mindful of her scars. His words barely made it out as his body was wracked with another wave of inescapable tears. 'I .. I couldn't have done it without you, Hermione.'

'We need each other, Harry. Stop blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong.'

A strangely comforting silence ensued as the waves lulled the two into finding solace within each other, their soft caresses founding in them a renewed fervour for the battles yet to be fought.

'I love you,' he says, his voice hardly making it over the thunderous waves but she heard him nonetheless.

'I know,' she smiled. 'And I love you.' She pulled away from him but only just slightly, watching as the wind whipped his hair into his face.

It was oddly beautiful.

Harry breathed in large gulps of air, mustering up the courage to make one last admittance. 'All this devotion .. I don't know what to do with it, Hermione. I don't know what to do when people look up to me. I don't have a plan. I'm just .. I just do things impetuously and they almost always backfire.'

'Well, then we wing it,' Hermione shrugged with a lightheartedness she hadn't known to posses in what might have been years.

'We wing it?' Harry uttered, a grin beginning to form on his face. 'Did I hear that right? Hermione Granger, the advocate of all things orderly, just told me to wing it.' He pulled away completely from her, taking a good look at her and breaking into a soft bout of laughter.

Hermione joined in without a hint of reluctance, her giggles adding into the mix. 'I mean that's all we've been doing since the beginning. We make a plan and it fails magnanimously so we improvise and then we wing it.'

Harry leaned back, his fingers threading through the sand, staring straight ahead into the vastness of the sea. He cocked his head to her side as he heard her call out his name gently, sobered up and serious once again.

'Whatever burdens you have about your leadership or anything else, don't keep them to yourself, Harry. You did the same thing when we were hunting the horcruxes. And it only ever made you miserable.'

Harry's brows dug into a frown. 'You knew all this time?'

Hermione's lips tugged into a forlorn smile as she patted his head fondly, weaving her fingers through his unruly hair. 'When will you learn, Harry? I always know when it comes to you and Ron.'

Harry's eyes filled up with unshed tears once again at the mention of his best friend, his heart crying at the memory of him.

'It's okay,' she whispered, seeing through her mistake. 'Once all this is over,' she followed him and looked out beyond into the nothingness, 'we will put them to rest. We will give them a farewell they deserve. All of them.'

He scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to ignore the way his heart was thumping erratically against his ribcage.

Hermione leaned into his side, locking her arm into the crook of his elbow. 'Harry?' She called out timidly.

'Yeah?'

'We're going to have to think of something to do after the war is through.'

Harry didn't respond. He merely closed his eyes, pushing himself farther back and letting the breeze whip the cold across his face.

'Hermione?'

'Mhm?' She mumbled.

'I've never thought of my life past the war.'

'I know.' She bit down a whimper. 'Neither have I.'

'That's no way to live.'

'When did our lives get this way?'

'As far as I can remember,' he said, 'they'd always been this way. Most days I can't even remember the time when it had been easier.'

'It was an awfully long time ago,' she commented wryly.

'Hermione, we have to tell them,' he stated firmly. 'We need a plan. How will we draw him out? Only Dumbledore could do something like that. We _need_ their help. We need to tell them.'

'I agree that we do. It's time that they knew. We can't .. we can't finish this by ourselves.'

'I wonder,' Harry struggled with his words, 'I wonder if they'll want me.'

Hermione frowned, choosing to stay silent. She knew he was pining for his family. She also knew that they'd accept him in no matter of time. They had the biggest hearts out of all the people she had ever known but Harry would never believe it until they did.

'I don't want to keep living this way anymore, Mione. When does peace come for us?'

'Not to sound morbid but if you want me to be honest I don't think anything will ever truly bring us peace. We've seen too much for that to happen.' She paused. 'Perhaps in death,' she chuckled ruefully. She sighed heavily before adding, 'All this suffering .. it was inevitable for you, Harry. You have a big heart. You have a conscience. You may have been the Chosen One but you could have easily walked away and went into hiding. But you didn't. Like I told you all those years ago .. you're a great wizard, Harry.'

An unadulterated rage split through his features. 'It's not fair how there are people who can spend years being restless, waiting for something to happen .. for their big shot opportunity. I want that. I _want_ to be bored. I _want_ the mundane. Is that too much to ask? How do we redeem ourselves, Mione? How do we wipe away all this blood off of us?

'I want nothing other than to fall asleep and never wake up,' he looked at her intensely, his gaze piercing at her soul. 'I don't see myself outliving all this grief. I have all these images burned into my brain .. images of the lives we could have lived and it's absolutely _crushing_.'

She tugged at the hem of her sleeve, scrunching it between her fingers, and whispered, ' I- I have no comfort to offer you, Harry .. not when I wish for the same.' A tear slipped across her cheek. 'I wish the sea would open up and swallow me whole. Is that too cowardly?'

Harry looked at her sadly, understanding filling his eyes. He dropped his head to rest on hers. 'One day you're worried about the Triwizard Tournament and then life decides to sneak up on you.'

Hermione nodded sadly, pulling herself even closer to him, the crushing loneliness abated only by his warmth.

She snuck a furtive glance at him. _Everybody needs someone_ , she thought silently to herself. _Someone to pour themselves into._ It was a dark and gloomy world. Her life had no meaning to it anymore. But his presence alone brought her tranquility and calm that she starved for but couldn't find anywhere else.

'I don't feel like facing another day anymore, Mione. There's a tiredness settled in my very bones.' His voice turned an octave higher as he begged, looking to her for relief, 'Please just make it go away.'

The torment in his eyes reminded her of the day Dobby had died, bringing forth a gut wrenching sob. 'Being strong is the only option we have, Harry,' she whispered against his shoulder. 'One day at a time, yeah? Just one day at a time.'

Harry pursed his lips together, breathing slowly through his nose.

'I feel useless all the time these days. At least you're still doing something for the cause. You keep going out to fight .. all of you.'

'You're recuperating. Nobody blames you.'

She shook her head vehemently. 'I've rested long enough now. I need to see Narcissa, Harry. I have to make sure she's alright. Maybe she can even clue us about the diary. It's the last horcrux. We have to get on with it already. I know you've told me that she hasn't talked to anyone and that she prefers to stay quiet but I'm sure I can break through to her.'

Harry nodded to her. 'Alright. We'll go see her soon after we've told everyone about .. everything.' He sighed. 'Come on, let's pull ourselves together and get through this.'

Hermione braced herself as he helped pull her up on her feet, supporting her weight and letting her balance herself however she had only just wobbled along a few steps before collapsing against him, letting out a cry of frustration.

Harry reached out his hands towards her, hovering just within reach.

'I .. I just need a moment,' she said, pressing her palm against her chest and allowing herself a moment to breathe. Closing her eyes, she steeled herself and hoisted herself upright.

She took a step and then another, nodding to herself as she found her balance again, a smile stretching across her face at the progress.

Harry steadied her as they walked hand in hand, their steps slow and measured. Her grip onto him tightened as her eyes found the lonesome cottage only a few hundred yards away.

'How do we do it everyday?' She whispered, not really looking for an answer.

Harry fixed her with a comforting gaze, his words level. 'We want to see them happy, don't we?'

* * *

 

Her hands curled around the maroon sweater, a bare hint of his scent still clinging onto it. She covered her face with her hand, hoping it would keep the tears from falling. She didn't want to fall apart not when such a monumental task lay ahead of her. The evening was bound to be long and held a promise of reliving the best and the most painful of her memories and Harry's.

She had pulled out a lot many things she no longer remembered packing in. How would she? It had been more than a decade. It had been twelve years that she'd spent in this timeline alone. She sighed, reflecting on how far she had come.

'It isn't fair,' she whispered into the silence of the bedroom. Ron Weasley had had a plan. He had wanted to help his best friend defeat the Dark Lord. He had wanted to be married to his bookworm girlfriend by the age of twenty three. He had wanted two children, a girl and a boy. He had wanted to name them Rose and Hugo. He had wanted to build a tiny house for his family. He had wanted to create a nook of a library inside for his wife. He had wanted to show her and the world how much he loved her.

Hermione sniffled, 'He proved it alright in the end.'

He proved it in the breath that he jumped before her, pushing her aside to bear the brunt of the Killing Curse, taking away with him any remnants of Hermione's happiness.

She heard the faucet turn off as Harry's footsteps thudded against the wooden floorboard. She wiped away the tears, taking one last whiff of the sweater before pulling it over her head and hugging it close by wrapping her arms across her chest.

Harry was clad in a white towel wrapped tightly around his waist, his hair dripping water into the carpet. He frowned as his gaze fell over Hermione's downtrodden frame, her wild mane of curls laying flat and deadened around her equally vacant face. He was startled. Not by the emptiness in her eyes but by the clothes she wore.

He recognised her faded dark jeans from the Horcrux hunt and the maroon sweater that bore the letter R. She looked exactly like the brightest witch of her age then, the famous Hermione Granger, the advocate of all things equality.

A lump formed in his throat as he looked at the mess of the clothes on the bed linens, a haphazard compilation of things from a past he fervently wished to forget.

There was a fire burning beneath his skin as he surveyed the largest of the shirts, idly wondering how much could still be a painful reminder of his freckled best friend. There was a sudden twitch in his face that he couldn't stop. He wished for the memories to stop coming at him the way they did in waves. Memories never did him any good.

He looked helplessly around him, wondering what he could say to pull Hermione out of her thoughts. Mustering up a sense of joviality he dared not feel he said, 'You look ruddy brilliant, Mione.'

She shrugged her shoulders. 'I just figured it was time to let go of Hermione Lestrange.'

Harry smiled at her, 'You think it's time to let go of Oakswood too?'

She let out a soft chuckle, a welcome gleam in her bloodshot eyes. 'I know it's time the people downstairs knew there's another reckless Potter in the world.'

He nodded to himself, his fingers scrunching up the fabric of a grey t-shirt that lay facedown on the bed. He pulled it over his head as Hermione made herself scarce, giving him the needed privacy.

Buttoning up his jeans he exclaimed, 'Alright, then, let's do this, Mione!'

The enthusiasm he had feigned did nothing to calm Hermione's nerves but she smiled gratefully at him nonetheless, tying her unruly hair into a ponytail reminiscent of the teenager she had been in her original lifetime.

Quickly clearing up the mess and banishing everything back into her beaded bag, Hermione followed Harry as he made his way downstairs where everyone had already assembled as they had requested. There was a strange heaviness in their feet as they padded across the lobby and right in front of the door that led to the living room.

They stood shoulder to shoulder, gleaning bits and pieces of the conversation that flowed inside.

'I couldn't tell you,' they heard Rab's soft timbre of a voice say. 'You can't expect me to be privy to everything that goes inside their heads, Sirius.'

Harry looked tersely at Hermione then, seeking solace and courage from her. 'It's now or never.'

Her eyes softened as she felt him bend down to press a kiss to her forehead, his thumb stroking the back of her knuckles as he squeezed her hand one last time before pushing the door open and disappearing inside.

Hermione took a deep breath, doing everything she could to take her mind off of her frayed nerves. _It will be okay_ , she told herself. She had spent the better part of a decade with the people inside. She loved them as they loved her. It was her brother and some of the kindest friends she'd made in her life. _It will be okay._

She took a measured step inside, her gaze focused on her worn out shoes.

There was a collective gasp as everyone took in the appearance of the girl they had come to know as a regal, pureblood Lady now dressed in what could only be described as rags compared to the rich silk and linen thet were used to seeing her in. _Trust the Marauders on their dramatics_ , she thought to herself rather wryly.

Gleaning courage from Harry, who stood right in front of her, she raised her head high. It was time to own herself. She squared her shoulders as she came to stand beside him, her eyes meeting those of the people around her.

Remus stood nursing a cup of tea in tje farthest corner, almost wishing to become one with the wall, it seemed. Peter was right beside him, twirling his wand absently. James and Lily were sat together on the sofa, their fingers intertwined. Sirius leaned his elbows against the backrest as Rab paced along the windowside, his expression pensive.

And farthest from them all was Professor Dumbledore, perched onto the edge of a table, his face serene and devoid of any worries.

There was a look of unadulterated surprise on the faces of the Marauders and a reluctant acceptance on Rab's. Hermione felt a stab of pain wondering if he thought he would be losing his sister, the persona that he knew her by, that night. She flinched as she thought about his reaction to finding out she was a Muggle born. He might not be a bigoted pureblood but Hermione had so thoroughly sullied his family that surely he'd feel repulsed.

She rid herself of such negativity. She had to be stronger than this for she knew Harry was fighting a battle entirely of his own as he stared deep into his father's eyes, both raven haired men looking strikingly more similar than most days when Harry had so acutely hidden himself under the name of a Lord. The men wore similar hairstyles, both unruly and refusing to stay flat. Their glasses, though differently framed, highlighted the only difference they bore.

His gaze shifted to that of his mother, who was positively gawking at him, terrified of what this could mean, an unsettled air around the couple.

Sirius was shifting nervously on his feet, his eyes going back and forth between the odd pair, quite unsure of what to think. His uncertainty was shared by an equally confused Peter.

Only Remus, it seemed, was waiting patiently for them to give an explanation from the exception of Dumbledore, of course, who merely sat smiling on the, his eyes twinkling with mirth and barely concealed secrets.

Harry didn't know how he had found his voice but he did. 'Professor Dumbledore,' he nodded in greeting. 'I believe you have the Pensieve on your person.'

'Exactly as you requested, Mr .. Potter, I assume?' Dumbledore said kindly, producing from within his robes a tiny orb of glowing liquid.

It didn't surprise either of the pair. They knew Dumbledore had had his doubts but to say that their company was anything short of shocked would be a butchering of the truth.

Tapping his wand against it, Dumbledore levitated it to the middle of the room. Waving his wand around he cast a simple charm that split the Pensieve into tiny fragments which then enlarged to form life-like copied versions of the original, each copy floating and coming to rest in front of every man and woman in the room.

A hubub of conversation began which was soon quenched by Harry's presence.

'I know you have questions and rightly so,' he stated, his voice never betraying the terror he felt. 'It is time you had them answered. Secrets aren't going to help anybody anymore.'

Hermione turned to the old and wisened Professor. Looking at Harry for reassurance, she walked closer to him. 'I'm certain you have theories, Professor.'

Dumbledore sighed heavily, his hands held behind his back. Moving around the room so that he stood right in front of Harry and Hermione, he said, 'I most certainly do. The first thibg I'm quite certain of is that I believe the two of you have managed to hoodwink the very fabric of our reality by travelling, at the very least, twenty years into the past.'

There was a throaty chuckle of disbelief from James. 'Come on, Professor. That's going too far!'

Remus held up a hand to silence him, his eyes wide and unbelieving but on the precipice of a breakthrough finding.

Sirius looked over at Hermione, his face morphed into one of incredule. He walked towards her, hesitating to take her hand in his as he asked, 'Is that true, Mi?'

'It is,' she whispered quietly, her gaze shying away from him.

'But.. but that's not possible!' Sirius tried to reason. 'A time turner can't take the wielder that far back.' He turned to look at Rab. 'Do you believe this? You watched her grow up!'

Rab shrugged his shoulders tiredly, 'I know it's difficult to understand. I don't have the full story myself but I've known for a while and I trust them to tell us the truth.'

Lily's brows were scrunched deep in thought. 'But why?' Her voice seemed incredibly small. 'What could have happened that'd make you do that? Leave your entire lives and go back into the past?'

'What indeed?' Harry chuckled darkly.

Hermione placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, as if to urge him on.

'Voldemort isn't going to die anytime soon,' he said simply, or inadept at finding the right words.

'You can't.. you can't possibly mean that,' Peter shook his head in disbelief, falling down into a chair, his hands pressed against his forehead. 'Twenty years..,' he whispered faintly.

'Hold on,' James cried out. 'You actually believe this? Professor! If a time turner could do that people would be doing it left and right. It goes against the very laws of Magic! It's the oldest and the most protected principle of the Wizarding World. You simply _cannot_ change the past.'

'We didn't use a time turner,' Hermione replied calmly. 'You're correct. I've used a time turner during school and it has its limits. It could never make a journey across a year let alone three decades.'

'Three decades?' Lily quipped. 'Three?'

'Yes, Lily. _Three_ decades. But we didn't use a conventional means for it. We used some terribly Dark Magic.'

'But -,' Lily started to protest.

'It's how you put it to use is what matters,' Rab cut in. 'Dark Magic isn't always intended to hurt.'

Hermione nodded to him gratefully before turning to Sirius, her reservations with him suddenly forgotten. 'What do you know about blood rites?'

Sirius was startled to see her personally address him. He took a gulp of air before answering, 'I - I don't have an extensive knowledge on it, of course, but the Blacks have been known to dapple into several blood rites quite heavily even going to the extent of personally curating some. I know my aunt Ella-'

'Elladora Black pioneered some extremely thorough rituals, yes,' Hermione stated. 'Her journal. What can you tell me about it?'

'It was heavily guarded, as I'm told,' he frowned. 'It holds family secrets that shan't ever be revealed to anybody outside of the Blacks. Not even Bella would dare take it to Voldemort.'

'That's true but when you, the future version of you, I mean,' she corrected herself, 'inherited the family estate the library .. well everything Black basically came to a standstill for several reasons. Her journal was in the Black Library. I found it one day and reading it, as abbhorent it was, gave us a solution, albeit risky and extremely dangerous, that could very well have turned the tables around for the war.'

'You knew me in the future..?' Sirius asked, his face tumultuous. 'What .. what was I -- to you?'

Remus nudged him in the back saving Hermione from further discomfort.

'It was a last resort really,' she went on to explain. 'You need to be a whole different level of twisted to even be able to carry out such rites and it did..,' she suppressed a shiver of shame and guilty. 'It did require a great sacrifice.'

Harry looked at her sharply at the mention of the unforgivable deed they'd done to get there, his eyes brimming with hidden secrets.

'We were terrified of what would happen. We didn't even know if we'd land at the right place or if we'd be able to change the past at all. For all we knew we could be walking to our death. But the way things were .. it was.. these are horrifyingly dark times that I'm talking about. Imagine the worst possible form of society and then imagine it tenfold. We had no other option. We'd have died one way or the other. So we took it. We took the risk and we made the journey.'

With a loud sigh, Harry moved to stand right beside the Pensieve in front of him, choosing to stare inside its depths rather than look his family in the eye. 'The year 1981 is when Voldemort vanishes. Or at least he did in the original timeline. There was a prophecy that said a child born at the end of July to a man and woman who had defeated him thrice would bring about his end. He took it quite literally and hunted down every child who could fit the description. He didn't stop with the children born into the Wizarding World. He killed every last one. Whether the child was magic or not.

'There were two in the end who were the perfect match. He picked one. He _marked_ one as his equal, murdering his parents in cold blood in an attempt to finish him before he could even grow up to be a match. But the child survived. He survived the Killing Curse.'

'Nobody can survive the Killing Curse,' Remus frowned. 'And only a child at that? How could a child have done that?'

'His mother's love,' Hermione replied somberly. 'The child survived as the curse rebounded leaving Voldemort in a debilitated state. He fled the scene, stripped of his powers, and went into hiding.'

'But he came back.' Harry stifled the need to rub against his eyes. 'He came back in the year 1994. The child had grown. He'd learned thins. The Order of the Phoenix which had until then been disbanded came back together to fight Voldemort but it wasn't enough.' His voice broke, 'Nothing could have been enough for what came next. We could never have been prepared.'

Hermione wrapped her arm around his. 'His Death Eaters murdered. They raped. They butchered people. I don't wish to make light of what's been happening over the last few years here but what came next was horrible. By the year 1997, Voldemort had full control of the Ministry.'

Dumbledore, too, gasped.

'Muggleborns were required to register themselves, their very existence threatened,' Hermione explained. 'They were enslaved, turned into playthings. None of it .. none of it made sense but our world was falling apart right in front of our eyes. We had taken a rough depletion of our numbers. It was clear we were failing miserably. But we kept fighting until there was -,' her voice broke. She closed her eyes, turning her back to everyone as her stomach knotted.

'Until there was nobody left to fight anymore,' Harry finished for her, his face impassive and his words wooden. He stood rigidly, his stony mask never once slipping. 'I could go on and tell you how the Statute of Secrecy fell and how the Muggle world was ripped apart. I could tell you how every last member of the Order died. I could go on all night but you'd never believe me.' He dug deep into the pockets of his jeans, pulling out a tiny bundle. 'Hermione?' he called out.

She turned, tapping her wand against the pile which grew into two small vials, both containing inside them a silver wisp of a thread.

'Memories,' Rab murmured, enraptured.

'That's right,' she nodded along. 'Memories worth a decade of our lives from the future.'

Harry looked troubled. He drew in a breath and cast a nonverbal spell on himself, his body immediately flooded by nicks and cuts and several abrasions, the only ones visible to the Marauders and co being those on his face. Their eyes were glued to the most peculiar of them all, the lightning bolt on his forehead.

'This is where the Killing Curse rebounded,' Hermione explained before following in Harry's footsteps and removing the glamours on herself.

Another series of gasps was let out as their company surveyed the battered looks of the two war trodden child-soldiers, their scars echoing the after effects of horrors they never hoped to see.

'My name is Hermione Jean Granger, born to a Muggle couple on September 19, 1979,' she said calmly. She wound her way around and entwined her fingers with those of Harry's. 'And this is my best friend, Harry James Potter, born to Lily and James Potter on July 31, 1980.'

Quiet followed. Nobody said a word. Nobody dared disturb the silence.

The floodgates opened for Lily then, tears slipping past her rosy cheeks as she gripped onto James for dear life.

'You're-,' James began as he looked fervently at Harry. 'You're our .. _son_?'

Harry dared not meet his parents' gaze, fearful of what he'd find but there was the hint of an imperceptibly small nod from him.

'Voldemort killed them?' Sirius croaked.

'That can't be,' Peter nearly yelled. 'They're already under the protection of the Fidelius Charm and there's not even a threat of a prophecy hanging around their heads this time round!'

Hermione visibly flinched, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by the Marauders, as she saw Harry's hands ball into fists.

'What war doesn't see traitors?' Remus realised, his voice subdued and heavy, falling down heavily into the sofa, trying his best not to raise his eyes in an accusing glare across to Peter.

'I would,' Peter pleaded, as the realisation set in, 'I would never!'

Sirius' back was shaking with fury, every fibre of his being revolting at the very idea of betrayal. 'That's right he wouldn't. Tell me this isn't an elaborate prank.'

'Hermione?' Lily's voice begged.

Harry bit down on his lip. He wasn't prepared for this. He could never have been prepared for this.

Hermione's heart broke for her best friend. 'No, Lily. This isn't a joke. This is the truth,' she raised the vials for everyone to see, tipping the contents of one of them into the Pensieve before her, noticing how each fragment of it began to show a swirling mist of silver. 'Let us show you,' she whispered.

Rab placed a comforting hand on Lily's shoulder. He might not have known her but he could see that the family needed a something to ground them. 'Whatever comes next, know that it will never come to be,' he said softly. 'It's a future your son is trying to prevent from happening.'

Lily and James's eyes shot to those of Harry's, now unashamedly tearing up.

Dumbledore rose from his position, the first to enter the Pensieve showing the others the way.

'Give us a chance,' Hermione pleaded. She saw as one by one each of the wizards gathered around and dipped their heads into the magical liquid, Lily being the last one to go, glancing one last time in Harry's direction, as if memorising every detail of his face.

'We need to do it too, Hermione,' Harry whispered to her after everyone had left.

'I know, Harry,' she mumbled. 'Let us be brave.'

They bowed their heads simultaneously into the Pensieve, witnessing how only within a second the very atmosphere of their surroundings had changed from a warmly lit up room to a cold and windy night.

Hermione barely registered the presence of the others around her as her eyes took in the memory before her. Her mouth opened in shock as she, too, witnessed the events of the fateful night for the first time. The night where everything had began.

The memories didn't start with their very first Hogwarts Express ride. No. They started with Voldemort's worst memory which Harry had come to see while running away from Godric's Hollow.

Her eyes bled of pain as she looked at Harry clench his teeth, his tears running amok.

**The curtains were not drawn. A tall back haired man in his glasses sat blissfully unaware, making puffs of colored smoke rise from the tip of his wand as his baby boy looked on, laughing and trying to catch the wisps of the colours in his s fist.**

**A door creaked open to allow a beautiful redhead radiating happiness to enter, taking the child from her husband's arms, watching as the man yawned tiredly upon dropping his wand on the sofa.**

**The gate made a screeching noise as it was pushed aside.A man, no, not a man. The monster in his dark robes raised a white hand to blast open the door, the sound of it alerting James to run into the hall.**

**"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off!"**

**It was heartbreaking. He had no wand. He had nothing but a father's pain filled scream of fury.**

**Voldemort laughed in his face."Avada Kedavra!"**

Hermione distinctly heard a grief stricken screams being let out that had nothing to do with the memory.

**The green light filled the hallway, the pram pushed up against the wall lighting up in the deadly glow.**

**James Potter fell, his face an ashen blue as a tear glistened across his dead eyes.**

**A woman was screaming upstairs. The door to their bedroom was forced open and boxes piled against it cast aside.**

**Tears stained Lily Potter's cheeks as she hastily dropped her tiny boy into his crib, raising her arms as if to shield him.**

**"Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"**

**"Stand aside, you silly girl... stand aside, now."**

**"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead --"**

**"This is my last warning --"**

**"Not Harry! Please .. have mercy .. have mercy .. Not Harry! Not Harry! Please -- I'll** do **anything .."**

**"Stand aside. Stand aside, girl!"**

**A green light flashes again and the woman fell to her knees.**

**The child shed no tears, his childlike innocence intact as he clutched onto the bars of his crib, looking up at the stranger, wondering if it was his father beneath the cloak playing another trick. He hoped there would be more lights. Green lights.**

**Voldemort raised his wand once again that night, his glee seeming to burst.**

**It wasn't his father, the child realised.**

**Harry began crying then, tiny sobs breaking through his small fist he used to wipe at his cheeks, begging for his mummy .. his daddy ..**

**"Avada Kedavra!"**

**Voldemort broke. He was nothing and everything all at once. He was floating, his body under unbelievable pain.**

The mists whirled across as the memory changed.

**"I'm a wizard?" An eleven year old Harry whispered to Hagrid's bulky frame.**

**"Now, you two – this year, you behave yourselves. If I get one more owl telling me you've – you've blown up a toilet or –"**

**"I heard you went to live with muggles. What are they like?"**

**"Has anyone seen a toad? Neville's lost one."**

**"I'm Hermione Granger and** **you are --?"**

**"I'm Ron Weasley."**

The knife was twisted in deeper.

**"Harry Potter."**

**"Are you really? I know all about you, of course -- Igot a few extra books. for background reading, and you're in Modern**

**Magical History and The Rise and Fall of the Dark Arts and GreatWizarding Events of the Twentieth Century."**

**"I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself, thanks."**

**"Mental, that one, I'm telling you."**

**"GRYFFINDOR!"**

**"Stop, stop, stop!"**

**"It's levi-o-sa not levios-a. No wonder she hasn't got any friends."**

**"Hermione! She doesn't know! We've got to help her, Ron!'"**

**"Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."**

**"I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed - or worse, expelled. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to bed."**

**"You haven't got a letter on yours. I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid-we know we're called Gred and Forge."**

**"HAVE YOU GONE MAD! ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT!"**

**"It's obvious, isn't it? We've got to play our way across the room."**

**"I'm not as good as you."**

**"Me! Books! And cleverness! There are more importantthings -- friendship and bravery and -- oh Harry -- be careful!"**

**“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”**

**"You filthy little mudblood!"**

**"There's not a spell our Hermione can't do."**

**"Oh well... I'd just been thinking, if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet."**

**"Make way** **for the Heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through ..."**

**"Dobby is** _**free** _ **."**

**"Because that's what Hermione does. When in doubt, go to the library."**

**"Neville will play Quidditch for England before Hagrid lets Dumbledore down."**

**"He was their friend. And he betrayed them. HE WAS THEIR FRIEND!"**

**"You! You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach!"**

**"If you wanna kill Harry then you'll have to kill us too."**

**"I want to commit the murder I was imprisoned for."**

**"What was there to be gained by fighting the most evil wizard who has ever existed?Only innocent lives, Peter!"**

**"He would have killed me, Sirius!"**

**"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED! DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!"**

**"It's cruel that I got to spend so much time with James and Lily, and you so little. But know this; the ones that love us never really leave us."**

**"You really are the brightest witch of your age."**

**"Don't let the Muggles get you down!"**

**"Accio Firebolt!"**

**"Percy wouldn't notice a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing one of Dobby's hats."**

**"Then I expect she's feeling confused because she liked Cedric and now she likes Harry, and she can't work out who she likes best. Then she'll be feeling guilty, thinking it's an insult to Cedric's memory to be kissing Harry at all, and she'll be worrying about what everyone else might say about her if she starts going out with Harry. And she probably can't work out what her feelings towards Harry are anyway, because he was the one who was with Cedric when Cedric died, so that's all very mixed up and painful. Oh, and she's afraid she's going to be thrown off the Ravenclaw Quidditch team because she's flying so badly."**

**"One person can't feel all that at once, they'd explode."**

**"You know the solution, then, don't you? Next time there's a ball pluck up the courage and ask me before somebody else does! And not as a last resort!"**

**"Cedric!"**

**"That's my boy! My boy!"**

**"He's back! He's back! I couldn't leave his body! Not there!"**

**"Remember, if the time should come when you have to make a choice between what is right and what is easy, remember what happened to a boy who was good, and kind, and brave, because he strayed across the path of Lord Voldemort. Remember Cedric Diggory."**

**"You're a prefect? Oh Ronnie! That's everyone in the family!"**

**"What are Fred and I? Next door neighbors?"**

**"I see them d-d-dead all the time! All the t-t-time! I d-d-dream about it . . .”**

**"It means that the Ministry is interfering with Hogwarts."**

**"The more you care the more you have to lose."**

**"Sometimes, the way you talk about him, it's as though you think you've got your best friend back!"**

**"He's not your son."**

**"He's as good as. Who else has he got?"**

**"He's got me!"**

**"I said I'm fine, Ron!"**

**"You're amazing, you are."**

**"Always the tone of surprise."**

**"It may have escaped your notice but life isn't fair!"**

**"Neville Longbottom, is it? How's mum and dad?"**

**"You think the dead we loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don’t recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble? Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself plainly when you have need of him."**

**"You're the weak one. And you'll never know love, or friendship. And I feel sorry for you."**

**"Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it."**

**"THEN I DON'T WANT TO BE HUMAN! I DON'T CARE! I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!"**

**"The things we lose have a way of coming back to us."**

**"He's** **just a boy."**

**“The thing about growing up with Fred and George is that you sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve.”**

**"I am not being ridiculous. Tonks deserves somebody young and whole."**

**"What does it feel like, Harry? When you see Ginny with Dean?"**

**"I have to kill you! Or he's going to kill me.."**

**"Severus, please .."**

**"Avada Kedavra!"**

**"It's been like...like something out of someone else's life these last few weeks with you. But I can't...we can't...I've got to do things alone now. Voldemort uses people his enemies are close to. He's already used you as bait once, and that was just because you were my best friend's sister. Think how much danger you'll be in if we keep this up. He'll know, he'll find out. He'll try and get me through you."**

**"But you've been too busy saving the Wizarding world. Well ... I can't say I'm surprised. I knew this would happen in the end. I knew you wouldn't be happy unless you were hunting Voldemort. Maybe that's why I like you so much."**

**"I will do what it takes to survive."**

**"We're with you, Harry. No matter what happens."**

**"Leave Hermione? We wouldn't last two days without her."**

**"Ron! He's splinched himself! Accio dittany!"**

**"I'm doing everything I can."**

**"You're not doing enough!"**

**"Your parents are dead!"**

**"You choose him, then. Fine. I get it. I saw you two the other night."**

**"Ron, there's nothing!"**

**"If I brought my parents back now they wouldn't recognize anything. Not even me--"**

**"She’s like my sister. I love her like a sisterand I reckon she feels the same way about me. It’s always been like that. I thought you knew."**

**"You. Complete. Arse, Ronald Weasley!"**

**"Your voice, Hermione."**

**"Don't -- don't touch her!"**

**"Hermione!"**

**"You broke into my vault! Tell me! Tell me where did you find it!"**

**"I didn't.. I didn't take anything.. please.. let me go! Please.."**

**"Help me. Hermione -- please .."**

**"Such a beautiful place it is, to be with friends. Dobby is happy with his friend ... Harry Potter."**

**"Here lies Dobby, a free elf."**

**"I'm sorry too, that I will never know him ... but he will know why I died and I hope he will understand. I was trying to make a world in which he could live a happier life."**

**"You have your mother's eyes."**

**“And Percy was shaking his brother, and Ron was kneeling beside them, and Fred’s eyes stared without seeing, the ghost of his last laugh still etched upon his face.”**

**"Hide them. Hide them all!"**

**"Yes. The boy must die. It is essential."**

**"You've kept him alive so he can die at the proper moment?"**

**"Always."**

**"Does it hurt? Dying?"**

**"The battle is won. You have lost half of your fighters. My Death Eaters outnumber you, and the Boy Who Lived is finished. There must be no more war. Anyone who continues to resist, man, woman or child, will be** slaughtered **, as will every member of their family. Come out of the castle now, kneel before me, and you shall be spared. Your parents and children, your brothers and sisters will live and be forgiven, and you will join me in the new world we shall build** **together."**

**"I'll join you when hell freezes over. Dumbledore's Army!"**

**"HARRY! WHERE'S HARRY?"**

**"Fight! Fight! Fight for my Master, defender of house-elves! Fight the Dark Lord, in the** **name** **of brave Regulus! Fight!"**

Hermione was jerked into a clearer memory.

**'No! Why did he have to run away?’ Ron cried in the middle of the newly reinstated Grimmauld Place, its wards once again strengthened.**

**'The fact of the matter is that he's still alive and at large,' Charlie spoke quietly.** **'We have to stop squabbling amongst ourselves.'**

**'Question is what comes next,' Hermione said as she leaned tiredly against the doorframe.**

**'It was supposed to be over by now,' Harry dropped to his knees, his voice weary. 'The war was supposed to be over. We .. we hardly have the numbers and the strength to continue fighting.'**

**Nobody** **made tl answer, every witch and wizard feeling equal amount of helplessness.**

**Ginny leaned her head against Harry's, murmuring sweet nothings in his ear.**

**'Is this the famous Gryffindor bravery?' Draco Malfoy sauntered inside, brushing across Hermione, his smirk in place, satisfied as everyone's face whipped into his direction. 'You quiver before him now when we should be readying ourselves to strike? Don't lose heart just yet. All you need is a little of the conniving Slytherin and we're sorted. We do whatever we can to thwart him, Potter. If we've suffered losses then they have too. If we've been weakened then so have them. Prepare yourselves, the lot of you. The real war is only just beginning.'**


End file.
